oily donuts

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[dysolution]

I miss who I thought you were.

[dysolution]

Just favorited SUN DAY – 07 by Greenhouse on Mixcloud

[dysolution]

Just favorited Mix from Diamond Blu Livestream Event by Mr. Alexander on Mixcloud

[dysolution]

I found the catch.

With all the wonderful changes I mentioned in my previous post, my cynical self had been wondering what the catch was going to be. I found it.

Four times now I’ve unwittingly attracted the affection of a woman who’s had a significant relationship that was either ending, recently ended, or badly neglected. Four times I’ve opened myself up to her and supported her. Four times she’s then realized just how troubled her relationship had been, and four times she’s summarily abandoned me after these epiphanies for the sake of “space” and “needing to work on [herself/her relationship].” 

One of these days I’m going to manage to identify (temporarily) emotionally unavailable women much sooner and politely pass instead of falling for them.

[dysolution]

GPOY Last Day Face. I'm going to miss the view out of these 8th floor windows over Lake Monona... but not as much as I'm going to enjoy my new career.

[dysolution]

renewal!

I start my new job on Monday. New career, actually... after 20 years, I’m a systems administrator no more. I’m now a full time software developer (Ruby, Javascript). I’ve been trying to make this happen for 4 years, and tomorrow I’ll walk out of this building for the last time and into the relative unknown. I’m beyond thrilled and equally terrified.

We’ll close Death of a Salesman on Saturday afternoon. It’s been a hell of an experience, a long-anticipated dream role for me, with a wonderful cast. And there’s this one cast-mate in particular...

I finally asked her out. We’re both very glad I did; it’s been a fantastic 3 weeks. The only downside to the situation is that Sunday I’m putting her on a plane and she’ll be literally halfway around the world until August. She’s very private when it comes to social media relationshippy stuff, and I can’t say I blame her, so... no name and no photo, at least for now. Suffice to say, she’s talented, brilliant, and gorgeous, and I marvel daily at how lucky I am to have had this time with her and to be able to look forward to her return. We don’t know exactly what we are yet except very, very happy to have found each other.

In conclusion, suck it, Life. It seems like all of this has been far too long coming. My stress at the moment comes only from these (wonderful) changes instead of my inadequacies, failures, embarrassments, frustrations, and dissatisfaction. This kind of stress has a far softer edge.

For the first time in years, I’m too grateful to complain.

[dysolution]

Just favorited SUN DAY – 03 by Greenhouse on Mixcloud

[dysolution]

I’m playing Biff Loman in Strollers Theatre’s Death of a Salesman, opening tonight, for a four-week run. It’s the feel-good hit of the spring!

More info and tickets: http://bartelltheatre.org/2015/death-of-a-salesman/

[dysolution]

"He who fight monster should look to it that he himself does not become monster. And when you gaze long into cookie jar, cookie jar also gaze into you."                                                                          -- Nietzsche Monster

[dysolution]

mercury states

Apparently I’m too dumb to figure out how to embed a proper Mixcloud player widget here, but if you’re in the mood to listen to about a half hour of some chill Afro/Deep House, here’s a mix I recorded last night:

https://www.mixcloud.com/xnm/mercury-states/

[nebraskagasm]

Your last text message is now your army's new battle cry. What will your followers be shouting?

OKEY DOKEY!!!

[well-learned-politesse-deactiva]

“Uber won’t be necessary. I’m not drinking. I can drive.“

[toosweet4rnr]

you know how it is. rockn rollin

[scotttfriday-deactivated2020051]

“grrr”

[monkeyfrog-deactivated20250120]

"Sadly, no"

[lowkeywitsec]

"Late night couch time"

[yodelmachine]

"Thank you for confirming your appointment."

[fleeting-improvised-man-deactiv]

“USED TOWEL AT A 24-HOUR BATHHOUSE, COOL.”

[dysolution]

“Nothing that I can recall at the moment.”

[dysolution]

We've been rehearsing a bunch of Rogers & Hammerstein music for a performance next week. I'm coming to despise the resultant earworms, frankly.

At this point, Meshuggah is an essential palate cleanser.

[dysolution]

ELE dream

I work on the 8th floor of a building with a clear southwestern view. In this dream, it must have been the late afternoon around this time of year, because the sun was close to the horizon.

Suddenly there was a sort of faint seismic thud. Everyone stopped what they were doing and predictably asked each other, "did you feel that?" I looked out the window just in time to see what I could've sworn looked like the sun dipping below the horizon and rising again within a few seconds.

As if that wasn't unsettling enough, there was this vague kinesthetic sense that our motion had changed. Shifted, sped up, slowed down... something. Plenty of other people had seen the sun "move" too and were also feeling this, and confusion and panic was quickly rising.

Grasping for an explanation, I realized that as unlikely as it seemed, a large asteroid impact on the other side of the world might've reverberated through the planet to become the kind of faint single thud we'd felt just moments before. If it was large enough and hit with a glancing blow, I could also imagine that impact slightly pushing the rotation of the planet off its axis, like someone slapping a basketball spinning on their finger. That might explain a "wobble" that would make the sun continue to dip below the horizon as it was.

It immediately dawned on me that an impact that large would leave an enormous crater and drive incredible amounts of dust into the atmosphere which would soon blot out the sun, possibly for many years. And if the impact had occurred in the deep ocean, it would have created a tsunami wave hundreds or thousands of meters high that would be reaching one of the coasts soon and possibly traveling hundreds or thousands of miles inland.

Then I woke up.

[dysolution]

The struggle is real.

[apsies]

The mother of one of the students at our school was tragically murdered yesterday afternoon. Our small school and community were hurting today as we tried to grapple with something so senseless. The mother left behind three young girls who don’t have any family living nearby. The circumstances surrounding this situation are about as tragic as it gets.

A Go Fund Me account has been set up to help with funeral expenses. The family didn’t have much money. Any extra funds raised will go directly to her daughters to help with the things they need at the moment. No pressure, of course, but if you feel it in your heart you can donate HERE or help by signal boosting. Our community has raised a little but I know the internet can do some amazing things. The family and those girls need all of the love and support they can get right now.

[monkeyfrog-deactivated20250120]

Gah. I don’t know what else to say. The poster is a teacher for those of you who don’t know.

[dysolution]

if I were a graphic designer

...I'd make one of those nearly illegible spikey logos for a black metal band called TURDCUTTER. For my portfolio.

[merlin]

David Foster Wallace - “This is Water”

So happy this video is available again. (I think DFW’s estate DMCA’d the original post a few years ago booooooo)

I can recommend watching this a couple times a year. We all really need to hear it.