[earianne]

First time that S was bullied in a while and I almost lost it.

This boy (maybe 5 yo) was terrorizing his younger, baby brother this whole time we were there. Well finally they settled down to do a puzzle and S tried to give them a piece of the puzzle they were working on that fell on the floor. The boy took it and threw it on the ground and told her angrily that they didn’t need it. He also called her stupid.

S got visibly upset so I pulled her aside and she requested we retreat to a smaller room for toddlers.

As she was saying goodbye, the boy started mocking her with baby noises!! Because I guess when she was getting upset about the boy throwing the piece S couldn’t articulate what she wanted to say so it ended up sounding like gibberish.

The worst part is the boys mom or maybe nanny? who was literally an arms length away from all of this and WAS WATCHING didn’t fucking say or do anything.

I swear I almost lost my cool on the lot of them. Thankfully I was just focused on calming S down that I calmed myself down, too.

[earianne]

In other news, S had an ever so slight illness this time. It was done and over in 24 hours👏🏻

My knee is also starting to feel better♪

We’re t-minus 8 days until parental leave is over and I’ll have to take over the apartment and both girls Thursday to Tuesday Afternoon. We’re as ready as we’ll be at this point.

Finally getting my point across that I need food in the freezer that I can pull out, microwave and have ready to eat in minutes. It has been a tug-of-war with a husband who puts fresh food as the utmost. I’m over here like, how about our my sanity?

We got back home yesterday after a full day out and he goes:

“This is a long day… It’s a lot.”

“It’s gonna be a typical day for me here soon.” I reply.

He pauses and adds: “Yeah, the last thing I want to do is get out a pan and cook anything. I don’t want to do the dishes. Phew.”

“Right?!”

[earianne]

I think my type-A personality trait is actually my nemesis and the reason the universe keeps giving me B-types is to save me from myself.

[earianne]

today was one of those days I Really Wish we had little XP and HP bars above our heads.

It would have made today 500000x easier.

As a 2 Hour nap did for all of us.

[earianne]

S has a fever again after only three weeks and only 1.5 weeks sick free… 102.8°😭😢 poor thing.

Another few days of tv.

I woke up this morning with soreness all over, and the side of my right knee is super painful. I think I spent too much time picking up toys at the library with K strapped in my wrap. I just can’t help it! Organizing helps me relax and the library playroom is a never ending project 😂 but I think I can’t do that for a while. My hubs gave me the look when I told him which part of my knee was sore. He was like “you need to just not walk and rest it.” Easier said than done with two children, but he’s right.

I guess the bright side of S being sick is that it allows me time to just sit. Hopefully it’s not too long of an illness.

[earianne]

The total hospital bill for my most recent C-section (not including the bill from my OB-GYNs office directly) came out to $21,084.90, insurance paid $18,598.81, so I owed $2,486.09 and I applied for financial assistance at got it to $0!! So so happy with that number! I only have to pay about $715 to the obgyn office and that’s that.

I wasn’t even aware of financial assistance/forgiveness when I gave birth to S and I didn’t realize I could wait to see the bill. So when the billing lady at the hospital came around to collect payment, I paid a good portion then and eventually I ended up paying about $7,000 for everything, and that originally cost the hospital nearly $70,000🫠

I’m just wondering how that number, for the same exact procedure, can be nearly $50,000 different???

Different hospital and doctor but like right down the street and the service and doctor and procedure/recovery itself was so much better this time…🤷🏼‍♀️🙃

[earianne]

時すでにお寿司 is so good🥹

The two main actors have such cute chemistry and the writers deal with his divorce story and his ex-wife in such a real way, it was refreshing to watch. Especially the emotional acting is just🤌🏻

102回目のプラポーズ is … meh. got barely 15 mins in when S told me to turn on 時すでにお寿司 instead 😂 It’s just a bit too… like “girls don’t know what they are doing in love, it’s up to us men to solve the problem for them.” 🙄 So I might stop watching idk..

Japanese language playgroup was small this week. Had some nice interactions but I think all of us are careful about what info we let out at this point. Fair, given recent events within the group. The bible study lady didn’t show. S had a lot of fun.

[earianne]

Well, it turns out that the lady who sent the invite to the group chat about the bible study: she (most likely) did NOT check with the play date organizer before posting to the group and I’m just 🤦‍♀️

The play date organizer handled like a gd queen👸 She was basically like, “Well, that sounds like it’s on the same day/time as this group so I won’t make it but hope y’all have fun!” So much class. So much respect🥺

Oh, and I also found out some tea🫖🍵 The lady who posted the bible study thing? She has some mutual friends with me from the church I grew up in from like when I was in high school!!😅👀🫣

[earianne]

I just want to say that I have stopped giving a fuck about nursing in public.

I try to be discreet.

But I refuse to act more bothered by it than our society, which literally puts moms and children LAST in planning any sort of building.

Like, y’all want me to believe you’re bothered by my nursing in public when you don’t even have the decency to make a space that’s safe, accessible to MULTIPLE moms at one time, not just one mom at a time (I’m looking at you, “nursing room” at the mall and library). Yeah, because only one baby needs to be fed at a time.

You expect me to nurse in a family bathroom which is basically just a huge room with a toilet and a sink and zero counter space or place to set down bags (LAX, shame on you!). And, most importantly, no chair.

You expect me to cover my baby’s face while their eating? How about we stop sexualizing every part of a woman’s body?

The worst is a plane. Why can’t there be a section of plane dedicated to people with small kids? It would be better for literally everyone. But what do i know.

So I’ll stop nursing in public when it’s better for me to stop nursing in public.

[earianne]

Hubs texted me last night after S had fallen asleep (23:58) that he was gonna wake S up at 7:30am because he didn’t want to be up until midnight.

I turned on the lights, and took off the bed covers at 8:00am this morning and turned on some Bluey music, eventually to Bluey Lofi.

It’s almost 9am, neither are up yet and I have no interest in doing more to wake either of them, oops🙊

We have plans to visit a local farm today and feed some animals. Hope the weather cooperates!

[earianne]

Got to watch my episode of 時すでにお寿司 which was good fun. I love that the main characters are in their 50s and there’s a small-ish love story but it’s mainly the relationship between the other characters that stays center stage.

We’re also watching 102回目のプロポーズ (102nd Marriage Proposal) which is fun but I’m not a huge fan of the story line. I just was hoping for something a bit more… idk if innocent is the right word, because nothing crazy is happening😂 but I guess I just wish it wasn’t a “with persistence, I’ll steal this guy’s girl!” story, because the guy in question is super sweet, handsome, rich, talented, and it’s like, yeah bro just leave her/them alone please?

[earianne]

It starts🙃

One of the ladies in the Japanese Language play date group put out an invitation on the group chat to her church bible study. Japanese Women Only. Oh! And it happens to be the EXACT same day and time as the current group play date. So.

I left the church a looooong time ago and I have no interest in going back. To each their own. church itself is already pretty exclusive, but for this mom to add on the “Japanese Women Only.” bit., 😔 Maybe she didn’t mean it like that, but it stung nonetheless.

I still like joining the original Japanese language play group and there are a few other moms I’m interested in talking to more so we’ll see🤷🏼‍♀️ I also like the organizer and her “why”… I just hope she keeps the group going.

[earianne]

Hubs hurt his back so badly that he was immobile for 24 hours. Like, he couldn’t stand. He couldn’t even crawl.

So I went from taking care of K, primarily, and S about 20% to taking care of both girls AND my grown husband.

I haven’t felt this strong and exhausted in a very long time.

But somehow the apartment wasn’t too much of a disaster after and none of us hurt each others’ feelings too too much.

I’m hoping I get to watch my episode of 時すでにお寿司 today🍣

[earianne]

Got out today and hubs overdid it at Judo and completely messed up his back🫠

I don’t want him to be hurt but this does give me a push to get out with both kids on my own from now on.

Good news is S is finally starting to listen to me again. I’ve been having so much trouble communicating with her because the moment I say her name, she starts ignoring me!! And I’m like?😅

But today she actually stopped and listened to what I said and it she was so cooperative because she understood what was going on (obviously!).

On other news, I scheduled an in-person PT appointment for next week!

And I have another OB appointment to check in with my mood in 3 weeks. I feel like it’s gotten so much easier to handle everything and I don’t feel depressed or as anxious. Even hubs said he can see I’m doing so much better from my previous appointment 3 weeks ago. So that’s super positive! I think getting out and talking to people has helped so much and writing on here has helped me see things more objectively and feel less alone💛

[earianne]

Today was a no-nap day and I have had my open earrings in the past few hours because wow has my toddler’s behavior been super triggering🥰

I started listening to Rising Strong by Brené Brown and my gosh does that woman get it💛

Aaannd turning up those earring/earphones even more now as I go into yet another witching hour with my almost 2 month old💕🎧

[earianne]

Day 4 of no TV limits for S. me and hubs and sat next to each other both on our phones.

This cough seriously sucks.

We were going to take S to the park today regardless of how she felt, but it rained so hard last night / this morning so that might not happen.. maybe later today.. but.

now I kinda figured out why this sickness made it into our lives.

The cabin fever is SO Real! and the only place to take kids when it’s rainy or too hot to be out is indoors obv. And like it’s been 4 days of this cough being bad enough to keep her in but my goodness I wanna go out so bad😩

On the upside, I’m kinda starting to look forward to Hubs going back to work because it means I have so few excuses to be on this gd phone looking up stuff I don’t really need to (gas prices and inflation has been a recent obsession).

Being outside is hard but finding out staying indoors can be way more challenging🥲

[earianne]

My toddler is doing the thing where she’ll ask me if she can do something, like watch TV or eat chocolate or something, and when I respond negatively, she immediately says “Papa!…” and proceeds to ask him the same exact thing…

Like, girl, no, that’s not how it works around here.