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I've been gone the longest these past months, and I'm once again apologizing for the absence. Life hasn't been good. I've barely been functional. Not two months ago, I buried my aunt who passed in January. Still don't think I've really accepted it fully. Then, in early June, an uncle died due to Covid and complications. And then my dad had to put down his dog, who I was also quite close with, because of sudden and severe health issue.
And I won't go into much detail, but my health has worsened. In some ways, things have improved by getting accurate diagnoses, but then other issues just pop up. In March, my OB/GYN found endometriosis on the outside of my rectum (other lesions and problems were found but have been managab). I'm so thankful for her because the endometrial-like tissue did not present in the normal way (cigarette-like burns) but instead like thin, white veiny tissue. Most doctors probably would have ignored it, but she cut it out and had it biopsied just in case. And she was right.
And literally a week after the laparoscopy, I had a gastric emptying scan. After, my GI diagnosed me with Gastroparesis and also lumped on Post-Cholecystectomy Syndrome as well. Treatment has sucked. I've lost an unhealthy amount of weight in a small time. The most basic nutritional needs are getting harder to meet.
During this, dealt with months of horrible pain in my head. Felt like liquid cement leaking into the back of my skull and pressing into my brain. Went to the ER in early June because the pain was coming on so quickly and so severely I was considering suicide. After imaging, they found my left occipital nerve showed a higher thickening and hyperintensity. So turned out to be Occipital Neuralgia and treatment has been long. Not responding to nerve blocks that well, so we're still trying.
Also, turns out I have Myasthenia Gravis. Started treatment and there's been some improvement. For over a month I could barely do anything: couldn't use my laptop and struggled to us my phone, couldn't read or write or color, couldn't do puzzles or even open my own water bottle after the seal was broken. Literally just stuck watching TV and it took a toll on my mental health. The double vision, dysphagia, and hand weakness has gotten a bit better as I can now at least do some things, but I'm still very limited.
Sorry for the absence. And sorry for any rambling. Haven't really talked to anyone lately, so life's been lonely.
I feel like most posts I make now are me apologizing, and here I am doing that once again. Sorry about nearly zero activity for so long: Insurance screwed me over in November and I couldn't get my Botox treatment until January; Diagnosed with a jaw disorder in December; Holidays were exhausting; Aunt passed away in January; Diagnosed with two physical disabilities in January, one being an issue with my spine which is scary; And I since the beginning of the year, I haven't had a week where I didn't have some sort of medical/doctor's appointment. I also have a laparoscopy surgery coming up in the beginning of March, as well as a gastric emptying test a week later. So I've been a little stressed.
I've gotten only a little writing done here and there, mostly on anxiety bear to finish the next chapter soon. But on a slight positive note, I have been able to read more, which is exciting (to me at least 😅).
So, I'm still here! I promise! Just struggling a lot with stress and health issues.
This was a commission for @ethereal-tooreal! She asked for a fluff and smut scenario where Toshi comforts the reader dealing with body dysmorphia and insecure about her weight. Thank you so much for the commission! <3
Warnings: dealing with body dysmorphia and anxiety
You didn't think it'd actually bother you this much. Or at all. It was just a typical step on the scale. But the number wasn't a happy one.
Five pounds. Five pounds that weren't there last Friday. You gained five pounds in one week. It wasn't even that much, but once you saw the scale flash '5,' it felt like eighty pounds of weight — eighty pounds you worked off through sweat and tears — was suddenly hanging on your body, and you didn't want to be back in that headspace again.
But it was only five pounds. That wasn't anything if not normal. People's weights fluctuate day to day, even throughout the day. Despite that, you avoided looking in the bedroom mirror. You couldn’t because you’d see everything wrong: weight on your arm shaking, marks showing how your skin’s been stretched, the way pants pinch just slightly too much on your hips.
While your body wasn't as big as it used to be, you weren't an itty bitty person by any means either. You still had some extra weight, as most people do, but it is better compared to where you were, physically, emotionally, mentally. You felt the progress, more confident in yourself, your well-being, able to wear your desired clothing without constant insecurity haunting you. You just felt healthier.
Yet, the doubts always came back, taunting those horribly fit clothes and teasing the loose skin, assuring yourself that your body wasn’t good enough. It’d never be.
Not wanting those thoughts to spiral further, you threw on a comfy cardigan and laid in bed, cuddling under the blankets to watch TV. You turned it to a show about interior design. It was low effort and the least drama.
Only when it darkened outside and the world slowed down did the apartment door open. Toshinori, after lingering around the front rooms, eventually walked into the bedroom, greeting you with his usual cheer. “I thought you were asleep at first. Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
He didn’t seem to question it and shuffled around a bit before leaving the room. You took the opportunity to wipe your eyes and steady your breathing as best you could. He had plenty of stress in his life. He certainly didn't need to be bothered with your issues after a long day of work dealing with God knows what.
Toshi said your name from the doorway. “I'm going to heat up some water. Do you want anything?”
You surprised yourself with how even your voice was: “Hot chocolate, please.”
“Anything to eat? A snack?”
“M'fine.”
Some minutes later, hearing footsteps coming back, you pulled the blanket up to hide most of your face. A steaming mug was placed on the bedside table. It was your favorite mug, a cute purple one with sunflowers, gifted to you from Toshi after one of his many Hero business trips.
You thought you saw him staring out of the corner of your eye, but when you looked, he was already turned around. Part of you hoped he stayed. The other, larger part wanted him to just ignore you for tonight and let you wallow in the misery.
But he didn't fulfill that bigger, conflicted part, to both your happiness and sadness, and walked to the other side of the bed. You scooted closer to the edge to give him some more room… or to put extra space between him and your body. If he didn’t touch you, then maybe the internal turmoil wouldn’t compound too much and become external.
“You’re okay, sweetheart.” He patted your hip as he settled in, once again not heeding your unspoken thoughts. It’s not like he could read your mind, though, so of course, he wouldn't. How could he? If you actually said them, he’d no doubt respect them.
You only grasped that he was still speaking at his last words. You asked him to repeat himself. He did: “How was work today? Anything fun happen?”
“Fine. You?”
“It was okay. Classes were all lectures today, so no exciting activities. And paperwork had gotten backed up at the Agency. That took quite a long time to get through after school.”
You hummed. The conversation swiftly petered out. He didn't seem to want to push you, thankfully. Though, you were probably coming across much more detached than you wanted. It wasn't his fault. And you were sorry his day wasn’t exciting. You knew how much he liked when class was active and he could help the kids with their Hero training. But you just couldn’t express all that right now.
Sooner than later, Toshi spoke up. “Are you sure you're okay?”
You grunted.
He sighed. “Can you sit up for me? I want to talk.”
You reluctantly did, bringing the blanket with you for support, and rested against the cushioned headboard like he was. Howbeit, you didn’t look at him. His eyes were going to be too sweet, his smile too sympathetic.
“What's going on?”
“Nothing.”
“I know something's wrong.”
“It's nothing, Toshi, really. Just overreacting.”
“And I'm supposed to ignore your red eyes? It’s clear you’ve been crying.”
You shrugged. It was nothing he hadn't heard before, and you didn't really want to bother him with it again. Yeah, he was your partner and all, but there was surely a limit to when something got annoying. You mumbled, “It’s stupid.”
“What?”
You repeated yourself.
“Honey, you’re speaking so quietly. I can’t understand you.”
“It’s stupid.”
A hand rested on your thigh. The blanket layers lent little comfort to the action. “Can you tell me what happened?”
“… I gained five pounds.”
He didn't say anything. He didn't move. His hand didn't even squeeze in the support he usually gave.
You peeked over at him. He was only staring like you were being ridiculous, exactly like you feared. “God, I told you it was stupid. You-”
“Stop saying that,” he interrupted, practically chiding you, just in a tender voice. “Please. Your thoughts and feelings are not stupid, especially to me. Okay?”
You nodded.
He took a second before continuing. “I’m assuming you weighed yourself today, then. When?”
“When I got home.”
“And I know you know that that isn’t the best time to do that. Weight can fluctuate up to-”
“Yes, I know.” You’ve learned all the tips and tricks and hardly needed to hear them all again. “It still doesn’t stop all the stup- the annoying thoughts. And it’s just so irritating, Toshi, dealing with them over and over again. I don’t want to keep thinking about myself like that. I don’t want to base my worth on my weight. I don’t want to feel like I’m… like I’m not good enough for…” Your voice quietened again, not wanting to admit to the fears and doubts your therapist heard so much about.
All the progress and counseling and rationalizations never fully stopped insecurity from creeping its way in, seething that no amount of progress was enough, reasonings were just excuses, and your shrink just a fool. You were too big — unwell, undesirable, unattractive — for society, for friends and family, for Toshi.
He carefully asked, obviously not wishing to pry too much. “What don’t you feel good enough for?”
“You.”
“Oh, honey-”
“I know what you’re gonna say, and I know it isn’t true, but sometimes it feels so real.” Your fingers clamped closed, nails stabbing into your palms. All the CBT and DBT in the world didn’t work. Trusting observable reality, externalization, and distress tolerance didn’t cut it. “I don’t know how to get them to just stop.”
Toshi hummed. The supporting grip came, clenching through the thick blankets. His other hand enveloped both of yours, working them open and relaxed. Four marks indented skin where nails were. At his words, you took a deep breath, steadying the rapidly developing shakiness.
“I’m so sorry you’re struggling so much today. The obsessing isn’t easy, I know. I’ve dealt with it too.” An arm circled your shoulders to bring you close. After kissing your head, he said, “Therapy can get you far, and you’ve done so well with it. I’m so proud of you. But I don’t know if those thoughts and struggles will ever completely go away, either. If I could, I’d take them.”
‘I know,’ you mouthed.
“It’s why I want you to talk to me if you’re struggling. I can’t cure them, but I promise I’ll always try my best to help or distract you.”
You turned into his neck to blink away any looming tears, weakly thanking him. When he began serenading you with his long list of ‘gorgeous’, ‘wonderful’ and ‘delightful’ and lengthy, synonymous praises, your teary eyes rolled internally. But it never failed to make you smile. And you were right: His sweet and sympathetic comfort was quite insufferable. In a good way. In a really good way. It was enough for the knot in your upper back to release and for some pent-up frustrations to sizzle out.
“Did something happen today to make the results feel worse? Or was it a bad day?”
“I don't know. Just a really bad day, I think.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Think just sitting with me is enough.”
“I can do that.” He tilted your chin towards him. Rough fingers gently smoothed over your jaw. “If you are ever struggling with something, tell me. Okay? It doesn’t matter how foolish you think something is. I’m here to help you through all that.”
The rubbing on your jaw switched to brushing through your hair. The other arm snaked around your waist, hand hugging your side, tickling skin through the sweater just barely. Kisses pressed to your temple, peppering a handful of more reveres. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” You stretched up to kiss him, still needing to when sitting because his torso was so damn tall. You spoke between connected lips. “And thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me for loving you.” Lips reciprocated with a smile. Weight shifted. You laid to the side, settling horizontally across the bed with your thighs open, inviting him into a more attentive, comfortable position. And he did, promptly nestling against you after stripping off his shirt.
The kiss reconnected. You cupped his face, tracing along his rigid jaw and cheeks. Fingers effortlessly unbuttoned your cardigan. Once it was open, they slipped across your abdomen, making you flinch at their chill.
A 'sorry' whispered into your mouth. You lightly laughed with him, pressing your body against his for warmth. Wandering fingers cradled your sides, not caring about any extra weight or stretch marks beneath them.
He never cared.
He purred, “You’re so beautiful.”
He never shied away from your body like you've done to yourself so many times. And to exemplify that, he helped remove your top, leaving you bare and cold underneath him.
“I mean it, no matter how many times I say it.”
“Even when you say it in the cheesiest way possible?”
“Especially then. I wouldn't tell you something without believing it.” Smiling, Toshi kissed down your neck to your clavicle, teeth ever so slightly catching skin but never pinching. “You're beautiful, scars and tattoos and all,” he breathed before kissing said tattoo on your chest, inching closer to your breasts. His traveling stopped to concentrate on your already hard nipple. Swelter covering shivering skin roused moans and humping.
With his mouth occupied, his and your hands worked your underwear off, further seeking heat and arousal. Nearly simultaneously, you palmed his pants and he stroked your clit. Groans skimmed your nipple as he worked his way back to your mouth, hips eagerly grinding with the other's hand.
His pants and boxers were the next to go. Sooner than he could clumsily push them all the way off, you were pumping his half-erect cock, and he scarcely got settled by the time you were lining him up, wanting him inside. Though, he didn’t need much direction to slide in, gradually, for your sake.
You moaned at the familiar stretch. He’d push in a little, pull out, then inch in just a little more until he found a satisfying depth to thrust at. You gripped his sides to keep his chest against yours. It rumbled with buried groans, repeating the same sentiment: “You’re so beautiful.”
You bit a blanket as the constant pace and pleasure started to quickly accumulate. It didn’t matter if it was on the slower side. His length more than made up for it. His mouth never parted from you. His hand never left your stomach, stroking heated skin and groping your sides, keeping you connected and hungry. And the tilt and lightly-haired skin pressing and stressing your clit wouldn’t make this a drawn-out ardor.
The thrusting eased to a leisured push until he bottomed out. Your inner thighs trembled from the shameless, indulgent burden of his entire cock inside. Forearms laid on the bed, enclosing your head. You kissed the arm closest before getting distracted by the lips on your temple. You turned to greet them with your own, smiling as languid thrusting began again.
“Just a little more,” you urged.
The pace didn’t increase, but the force did, only a tiny bit like you asked for, hips lurching rather irregularly. You sought your clit, rubbing at the needed speed.
‘I love you’ echoed between dry kisses. The high reached its limit as calming contractions sent your body rigid. Thighs and arms shuddered, fingers pricking skin through the enjoyment. Your mouth stopped replying, too busy with moaning, leaving his to guide the elongated, tiring kiss.
He groaned heavily into you, his spine needing to curve quite a bit because of his height. But that didn’t stop him from trying or you from grasping at his back through his jerking. You kissed and nipped his shoulder, whispering for his release.
And suddenly, you were left empty for a split second before cum speckled your tummy. You watched, delicately covering his hand with yours, as he shuddered and pumped himself clean. He went flaccid after a minute, his body relaxing on yours as well.
A tiny, white dot had dripped onto your thumb. Not wanting to wipe it anywhere, you licked it off, grinning at the mild salt and his red face.
“Don’t worry. It tastes fine,” you teased.
Toshi grunted in the fluster. He reached over you and grabbed a few tissues from the bedside table, using them to gently clean the mess off of your stomach. As he did, it growled just slightly. He asked with a small laugh, “Did you eat anything for dinner?”
“No. I came home and laid down.”
“Will you? I can make you something.” He kissed your forehead, listing off a few options.
“Pancakes sound good,” you agreed to that option, stretching your arms. He did make wonderful pancakes.
pay attention to me (pt.4 in the 'your first creampie' series)
-Present Mic x f!reader-
smut drabble of hizashi giving you your first creampie
The merchant handed the last of the items over. Both swords were done. And now, with the proper plates and monster parts, you could craft the highest-ranking light-armor set. The scavenging and fighting and money were a bit costly in terms of resources, but it wouldn’t matter once you finally completed the-
“Babe!” Hizashi called, coming out of the backroom to bother you once again. "Let's do something tonight."
"I'd rather not."
"Why?"
"Busy."
He plopped down beside you on the couch. Too focused on getting to the armorer, you missed his words and asked him to repeat himself. He did with a grumble, "You've been playing that game all day. Let's go out."
"I'm almost done with this armor set. We can do something tomorrow."
He nuzzled into your neck, trying to convince you with kisses and tiny bites.
"Hizashi." You shrugged him off.
With an overexaggerated moan, he fell onto your lap, not holding back with the physical dramatics either for sympathy points. He took the pillow your arms were resting on, so you just laid your forearms on his back. Skin touched skin. You looked at him and saw he wasn't wearing a shirt, unbothered by the slight chill in the room.
Green eyes peeked at you, probably trying to see if you were caving. When they saw you weren't, they pouted. "You've been neglecting me."
"No, I haven't." Your eyes snapped back to the game upon hearing the Armorer's voice. You handed over the armor, hide, plates, and monster livers and hearts. At long last, a short cutscene played before getting the Grandmaster chest plate, the final part of the Grandmaster set you’ve been desperately trying to complete. Other sets offered more defense, but they hindered your speed and stamina. Plus, this set was just more pleasing to look at, especially once you gathered enough dye to change the color to a nice-
Hizashi pulled at your attention again, dramatizing a whine. He was worse than a puppy. "Pay attention to me."
“I have.”
“No, you haven’t. You've only looked at that game since you got it."
You sighed his name.
He sighed your’s back. "Can I convince you to do anything?"
"Dunno. I'm kinda on a roll right now." You lowered the game console to meet his eyes. They were awfully sad. And his hair fanned out in a very graceful way; some lower strands were still wet from his earlier shower, slightly sticking to the handsome indent of his spine and ridges of his shoulder blades. "What's your convincing entail?"
That got him to smile. "Depends. What'll it take for you to pay attention to me?"
You rolled your eyes at his eyebrow wiggle and went back to the game. "I don't know."
Weight shifted as he moved around. You tried to pay it no mind, but you couldn't stop a smile from forming as balmed lips found your lower thigh. Breath heated your skin. A familiar glow shot up the nerves to under your clothing.
Giving your leg a relaxing squeeze, Hizashi droned against your skin through his kissing. "You used my body wash?"
You hummed, still preoccupied on the game and finding your next task. There were so many side quests and contracts to work through.
"It smells so good."
"It smells the same."
"Well, it's better on you." He kissed upwards, moving the edge of your nightgown up as he went. It quickly turned into wet kissing and sucking, and the closer he got to your underwear, the more they evolved into bites. A few lovebites peppered before teeth sunk into your inner thigh.
You jerked and gasped. It wasn't painful painful; rather a sharp, amusing painful. You didn't want to look away from the game, needing to focus on steering the stupidly difficult horse, but another sting right outside your panties jolted your muscles, yanking your eyes downward.
Flashing a playful grin, Hizashi’s hands snuck up to remove the obstructing garment, bending and spreading your legs wide after. The nightgown’s bottom crumpled to your hips. A blotch marked your inner left thigh. His mouth reattached to it, trying to nurse it to a darker color like he often did, straining the skin a bit too thin with enthusiasm.
You whined his name. He didn’t listen, slicking two fingers inside, instantly curling up to spoil you. As their pace and pressure increased, you gave up on the next quest and fumbled to save the game through increasingly trembling thighs and hastening pleasure. Lips fastened to your clit, granting it his indulgence, with his soft sucking offsetting his finger’s avid tempo.
But he pulled away.
“Hizashi.”
“What?” He blinked up at you, smirking too much for your current state. He obviously had your attention and was just teasing for teasing's sake.
When he didn't move, you moaned, half-heartedly humping the air. "Hizashi, c'mon."
He shrugged. No words. Giving in to what he wanted, you discarded the gamepad — the new quest was stupid anyway — and reached for the back of his head, drawing him close.
To your mercy, he didn't toy with you, resuming with deep, luring licking. Once locked, you couldn't look away from his bright eyes, so beautifully nestled against you. One hand snaked under your nightgown to palm your breast, making sure to pinch your nipple plenty. The other grabbed your ass, kneading and spreading it in time with his tongue's movement.
"God, I-" A moan cut off your intended praising of his mouth, so you stuck to sighing and gasping. Your hips fell into a pleasing rhythm with his lips. Long fingers stopped their kneading to slide inside, relapsing into their curling pressure. Feeling the tension flaring, you breathed, "Deeper."
And he knew right where you wanted him to fondle; rubbing against your front wall as his mouth coddled your swelling clit until all the pull and pressure released. Your chest pushed up as muscles tightened and contracted.
Amid the calming high and not letting you relax in the afterglow, Hizashi stood, pressing his clothed yet growing erection against you. Wetness brushed onto his sweatpants but was just pushed back into you with his excited grinding.
His forehead nudged yours. His heavy groan and grinding heightened your already high reactivity. You whispered his name just before your lips met, surprising you with how dry your mouth was from all the gasping.
He pulled away just so, holding your arms against the couch and keeping your eyes on his. The gruffness of his voice made you shiver, but it was nothing compared to what he said: “I want to cum in you.”
Words stuck in your throat, leaving you awkwardly humping and sighing, unable to swallow, in time with the rock of his hips. Kisses trailed to your neck, giving it the same love and attention he gave to your thighs.
He knew it was something you've never had after embarrassingly admitting it. It didn't matter to him, and he never pushed you into doing anything uncomfortable or beyond your limits. But fuck. You'd be lying if you said you didn't think about it more routinely the farther your relationship made it; how it'd feel inside, how it'd trickle out, or how it'd stay deep inside for some time, how closer, more intimate, more bonded you'd feel once you've experienced it for the first time, especially with him.
"Would you let me? I wanna watch it drip out of your pussy." He kissed you. Teeth clinked. Tongues messily played against the other. The grinding hurried as his erection fought against the tight underwear. “Fuck. I wanna fuck you.” Lips weighed into yours again, his nose flattening to your cheek as he hastily mumbled, "I just wanna fuck you raw. Let me be the first to cum in you, baby. You deserve it."
"I-" You laughed at the nipping teeth. "Bedroom."
Hizashi yanked you to your feet with a giant smile. The crotch of his sweatpants had a wet mark from your arousal. He didn’t give you much time to react, choosing to shove his lips and chest against you, guiding you backward. Hands grappled at your nightgown, removing and casting it away in the bedroom's doorway.
And he wasted no time with his clothing: he stripped off his sweatpants and underwear before plopping on the edge of the bed, thighs agape, stiff cock jouncing between them.
Impatience and enthusiasm dropped you to your knees before he was fully situated, swiftly taking him into your mouth. Your tongue brushed along his two frenum piercings. Their smoothness cooled your taste buds, urging you to suck sharper.
A groan came as fingers tucked into your hair to press your head down. "Take me more."
You did, drool leaking from your lower lips. Thighs opened wider as you did, and you settled close. Your tongue swirled around him each sink, trying to keep the wetness in your mouth and put plenty of pressure on his underside with each slow pull out.
"Just a little more."
You did, again, hitting the back of your mouth. You pushed away the slight gag to keep going down. And his handsome moans spurred you further. You cupped his balls as you reached your limit and bobbed, only moving a little each way, loving how tight he tensed in your hand and mouth.
His other hand held your neck to keep you down. He let out a lengthy moan as you strained for breath; the longer you choked on him, the lower his groans dropped.
You tapped his leg and when we released you, you did the same to his cock, trying to drink all the saliva as you did. You pumped him a little, watching his foreskin roll on and off his glans, before kissing his shaft, wondering how the semen you've tasted so many times would actually feel. You've read things, watched things, heard others talk about it, and they were never really the same. Would it be warm? Could you physically feel the wetness? Or the actual spurt? Or was it mostly an emotional reaction? Maybe it wouldn't be any different.
"Come here." Hizashi helped you up and to sit on his lap. Your mouth became preoccupied with his again. You both clumsily moved up to the pillows, too horny to stop kissing. Palms cupped your ass. Fingers dug into your skin. Just as the tip of his penis skimmed along you, a thought of a condom briefly flashed before remembering why you were here again, and you sunk onto his cock.
You swore at the same time. Your torso sloped forward, hands steadying yourself on his pecs, to savor how he shaped to your front wall. Each jerk of your hips tempted his to hump back, your bodies eagerly finding a rhythm together. He kissed and flattered you, especially your breasts, making sure to bite them a few times as well.
But Hizashi didn't let you stay on top for long. He flipped you onto your back and, before you could move much, grabbed your legs and pushed them together, laying your calves against his chest. His heft weighed your shoulders into the bed. Your lower back lifted, letting him sink further. You clawed the thighs smacking into yours at an increasing pace.
"God, Hizashi," you moaned between thrusts. "A little deeper."
He straightened, keeping your thighs on his chest. A snap forward, still lovingly brushing your front wall, curved your spine off the bed to seek the deeper angle. Hands clamped your hips, holding them in the elevated position. Each thrust coiled your back higher till the tilt was fucking perfect, fostering dripping arousal and dry-throated moans mixing into gasping praises.
“Just- Fuck- There,” you pleaded, clenching his forearms. The lean muscles tensed in time with his thrusts as they held you up. Sweat slicked under your palms. Ardor and pleasure fluttered in your chest, nestling deep in your stomach, waiting for the smallest change to send it over.
Before you could reach down, Hizashi beat you to it, just not in the way you had been planning. His hands still gripped your hips, kneading and pulling, except one moved towards the other, gently yet firmly sliding a finger along your ass. With the trickled-down arousal, it just barely slicked in. The mixing thrill and pang lurched your hips. You grappled at the sheets as your muscles strained.
Your rigid body bounced with his hastening one, hips and back aching at the workout. Nails pricked your thighs tightly, telling you he was at his end. Your pleasure went out the door as he bottomed out, and you watched his perfect mouth — his wet, florid, swollen mouth — hang open, low mumbles weaving into throaty groans. It latched onto your calf to silence the growing noises.
You weren't sure if you felt it at first, too preoccupied with staring at his allure. But then the warmth slowly trickled in before quickly heating your lower stomach. It didn't feel wet, just really, really, remarkably warm. Your emotional excitement probably added to the growing, flushing fever, loving the different, carnal connectedness it gifted you with.
You tried to wrap your legs around him, wanting to lock him close. When he didn't move, your hips wiggled closer, and he gave in, releasing your legs to lay chest to chest with you. Arms laid close to your temples. Balls flattened to your ass even as the erection gradually softened. Butterflies flittered in your stomach, just like the first few times you had together. Lips on your neck roused his name from your mouth. His lips were so light, eyes too green, too beautiful for anyone's health, cock lean but long, satisfying all the desires he promised to.
He rasped right into your ear. "How does it feel?"
You whined his name, turning into his arm, too embarrassed to look at him. But your hips and waist still rolled for the needed friction.
"Come on, how does it feel? How does it make your pussy feel?"
"Warm."
"Just warm? Nothing else?" Flirty fingers drifted down your tummy. They snuck between your clammy bodies, rubbing and writhing together, to circle your swollen clit. You grit your teeth. Your neck rolled back, inviting teeth to continue playing with the thin skin. "C'mon, baby girl."
"Full," you half moaned at the pleasure, half fussed at the teasing. "God, just keep-"
"I love you," he droned and rocked ever so slightly. You clawed at his back, maybe a little too much given his hiss, but you couldn't stop with the breadth and depth inside. "I love you so much."
Under his care and words, the pressure released so pleasantly, tenderly, thoroughly. The humidity swelled oddly into your chest and neck as you clinched around him. You moaned into salted skin, lips and tongue lazily sweeping along him, riding out the ebbing tension and flowing relief.
In the wake of your body settling and the heat abating, you realized you couldn't feel much. It was definitely slicker, sorta sticky. When he moved and some seeped out, wetness dribbled over your bottom and onto the sheets. It didn't really matter whether it was more physical or emotional, though. It was just satisfying and rewarding to feel it with him.
You eventually repeated the sentiment back: "I love you, too."
Small headcanons about Aizawa, Toshinori, Hizashi, and Gang Orca's wedding.
I'm once again sorry about my absence. I'm trying my hardest to write. It's coming slowly, but it is coming. I promise. <3
Aizawa Shouta
Shouta wouldn't bring up marriage until a long while into the relationship. It's never something he's put much thought into, and he certainly never pictured marriage coming quickly or easily. He just needs time to warm up to the idea, partly because he's afraid of it ending badly, like how everyone fears, and partly because he's well aware he isn’t the 'husband type' people tend to picture. But he isn’t against it. Having someone beside you during your worst and highest points, sharing the love and emotions, is, admittedly, a comforting thought.
Before officially proposing, he’ll talk about it with you extensively. He isn’t the type to surprise his partner, putting way too much pressure on them in public (he often finds himself grimacing at the men who do that and their poor, speechless partners). The proposal “event” would be small — It’s evening. You’re unwinding on the couch after a long day out. And he casually slides the ring on your finger, asking if you’d marry him. The ring is simple, natural, and beautiful. White gold bands intertwine like vines, holding a petite rose quartz stone.
He'd want a small wedding. No annoying bands, large festivities, or overly complicated planning. In fact, continually insisting on those actually makes him hesitant about getting married, as he'd feel you weren't considering his wants. He simply wishes the wedding would celebrate you and him, with some good food and the people closest and most important to you.
During the event, it's hard to read him. His face is flat as usual. His jaw is clenched, arms crossed, close to his body. Yet his eyes are genuinely happy. He doesn't get a lot of occasions to relax with his friends, but he worries something's going to ruin it. Rub the small of his back, hold his hand, and don't be afraid to kiss him publicly. It's the one time he's okay with it. And it helps him relax.
Sho is definitely someone that spends as little as possible on the wedding and uses the saved money for a longer, better honeymoon. Where it is, though, he doesn't care that much. As long as it's not to some casino or any other loud place, he's okay with you deciding. He trusts you not to drag him anywhere he'd hate. Besides, letting you pick gives you a chance to surprise him with something he truly deserves: a relaxing vacation away from his stressful life.
Once the emotions settle after everything, Shouta wouldn't feel much different. Your lives are pretty much the same. Though, his chest fills with a pleasant warmth when he's able to circle "spouse" instead of simply "partner" on paperwork or anything like it for a while. Not that he'd say it. And wearing the silver ring is quite nice, knowing you're also wearing one.
Yagi Toshinori
When he was younger, Toshi occasionally thought about getting married and having kids and how nice it would be to have that simple life. But then he became All Might. And then he got sick. And now he's sick and retired, struggling to see himself as worthy or as important as he once was. Marriage stopped occurring to him. He thought it'd just be another part of life he wouldn't get to experience.
His proposal comes at the end of a romantic evening together. He plans it meticulously and worries throughout the date, toying with the box in his pocket while you eat dinner and walk through the park. The question comes a bit earlier than planned. He stops you among the trees and flowers and kneels, revealing the rose gold engagement ring with your favorite stone in the center.
Whether it's more traditional, more western style, or a combo, it doesn't matter. Toshi isn't picky. He, like Shouta, just doesn't want it to be large or overly invasive like all the press and media events he's been subjected to. He'd invite Gran Torino, Midorya, Tsukauchi, and a few other close friends, but that's about it. This one part of his life he'd like to stay his.
His ideal wedding would be outside at a nice hotel or villa near the woods or ocean. Lanterns and string lights hang on the trees. Soft colors decorate everything — maybe a pale beige complimenting pink or a gentle cream to go with purple. Candles. Flowers. The ribbons on the chairs. It all matches perfectly. His outfit compliments what you choose to wear. A calm atmosphere, you, and your happiness are all he really wants.
You won't really get a chance to pick your honeymoon destination because he'll surprise you with a trip to some place you've always wanted to go. So, in a sense, you do pick it, but he buys the plane tickets, books the hotel room, and looks into local activities before you can even bring up the idea of the honeymoon. It doesn’t matter if it's to the Naturmuseum Senckenberg in Germany that you've talked about for years or to Iceland, so you can finally see the aurora borealis and all the other natural beauties the country offers. He wants it to be special, memorable, and personal. Plus, he has the money and won't hesitate to spend extra on you for this occasion.
Yamada Hizashi
Marriage has been fifty-fifty in Hizashi’s mind. He isn't a stranger to relationships, but something's always held him back, possibly even scared him away from marriage. He knows he's not perfect. He can be loud, sometimes unintentionally annoying, busy with his jobs, unfocused, and just a bit much. There's always an unfocused, lingering fear that his spouse would eventually get fed up with him and leave. Yet, you’ve been together for years. You’ve never given him the impression at all. So, maybe it’s worth it?
He'd like matching wedding bands, and he's the type to never take his off. And because it’s Hizashi, the ring is assuredly flashy. Your bands would be gold with diamond decorations. Your engagement ring is the exceptional one though: diamond buds lay on golden vines with a marquise diamond in the center. Yeah, it's expensive and just a ring, but he loves what it symbolizes and wants you to feel special.
Hizashi is one hundred percent down for the wedding being a grand yet laid-back production. Book the local band or famous DJ you love. Find the fanciest event site you want. Load it with candles and flowers and decorations of your favorite color. Style doesn't matter. He simply wants it to be fun. And he wants you to have fun with it. He hates how wedding planning is always stressful when it should be time for you two to relax and just appreciate one another, regardless if the party is grand or small.
Even if you spent a fair amount on the wedding, he also wants the honeymoon to be lavish. He’s by no means a millionaire, but he does have extra funds for things like this. And besides, this’ll be the only honeymoon you two go on. It should be memorable. He leans more towards cities rather than the typical beach-and-relax destination. Maybe Italy or Spain? He thinks of the architecture and culture, hot-air balloon rides, and winery tours. La dolce vita, y’know?
Gang Orca
Kugo knew he wanted a family and marriage since his teen years, and that desire has only grown as he has. He sees coworkers and colleagues posting about their anniversaries and children, all the happy couples holding hands and dancing at fancy events, and fathers playing with their children at the park, holding them as they did the monkey bars for the first time. He wants all that. Badly.
When the proposal comes, he nearly drops the tiny box. It isn’t exactly nervousness. It's more that he’s thought about this for a long time and it’s finally time. He’s excited and happy and content and over the moon when you say yes. The ring looks expensive. It’s a vibrant white gold band with an Asscher diamond in the center. Blue sapphires accent it on either side. His ring matches; it’s a simple white gold band with a grooved center for sapphire stones.
He leans more towards a traditional Japanese-style wedding. He wants the sake-sharing ceremony, to present a bouquet and a letter to your parents, and a smaller reception for your immediate loved ones followed by a more lively after-party. And seeing him in his handsome black kimono, haori draped over it, highlighting his shoulders and waist, isn't a bad look either. You can wear a kimono or a dress or something else, though. He wants you to be comfortable and confident in what you're wearing and wouldn't make you wear any specific type of outfit for his sake.
Kugo finds himself enjoying the wedding more than he thought. Well, he knew he'd enjoy it, but he thought he'd be a bit more anxious or all over the place, worrying about food coming on time or if everyone was sitting in their designated seat. Yet, that stuff goes away once it's started. He doesn't need to obsess over other people when you're next to him.
Despite wanting a wedding for so long, Kugo, surprisingly, has put no time into thinking about the honeymoon. Maybe he just never expected the former to happen, so the latter seemed like more of a pipe dream. His job responsibilities don't make the decision any easier.
Depending on the time of year, Kugo might ask for a "smaller" honeymoon directly after the wedding, like a weekend trip to southern Japan at a nice beach house, to hold you over until he can take time off for a more extravagant honeymoon. And even if you insist that the few days on the beach are enough because you just want to be with him, he'll insist that you deserve more. He wants to treat you. It just sucks that life gets in the way sometimes.
[id: a light pink userbox with a pastel pink border, and pastel pink text that reads “this user enjoys writing even though they can barely write one sentence at a time.” on the left is an image of ice bear from we bare bears writing on a piece of paper. /end id]
I don't have anything to post but I've just been thinking about Ryo fucking pregnant!reader over and over again, especially when you start to show. He cums in you every time, eating you out after so he can taste and smell everything you can't. The further along you are, the more protective he gets when you're out and about and the more he's over you at home.
Life is really fucking hard living with so many chronic physical illnesses. I can never get ahead of them in any way. I can never treat them in a lasting, working way. I feel so useless and incompetent, especially compared to others that have health issues and still manage to work or go to school or drive or do anything. I haven't left my house more than twice this entire past month. I can't even talk to others about it because I just feel like they don't believe me or just don't care after a while.
Insurance denies ADHD meds but I could still get some stuff done. But then they deny two separate migraine meds, sighting they're "not really necessary", then prescription vitamin D and another for my stomach pain. The birth control that was supposed to work hasn't done anything helpful in the six months I've tried it. I've had a cold for nearly three weeks now that isn't responding to meds. The only endometriosis specialist leaves the hospital, leaving me hanging. Any disability support groups around (in person or online) I try to join for help don't actually give a shit about physical issues and only actually care about mental health because fuck everyone else in the "disabled" category. And my PCP won't see me till January when I have to try to convince her that something's wrong and worsening in my body even though my mom doesn't even fully believe me despite her watching me get progressively worse over the past years and remarking on it in worry multiple times.
I don't know how to function when I can't look at any screens for days on end or get out of bed because I'm so nauseous and physically exhausted and weak and in pain. Please, fuck, I need just one doctor to actually invest in me and try to figure out what's wrong or I'm positive my suicidal ideations are gonna get much worse, and no amount of venlafaxine is gonna help with that.
In stream i (with lotsa help from chat) made a new fnaf oc, this is Billy Bobby Bass, he lives above foxy’s captain quarters and he and foxy tell pirate jokes for the kids
i have so much more about billy bobby bass but im streamin so send asks if you want more lore of my new boy
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapter twenty-three is done! And so quickly too. (I’d also appreciate it if you guys make sure to read the end notes for a small character change I’m adding. I’ve been thinking about it for over a year and finally doing it.)
You are in a hospital bed once again, but this time there are more scares and scars.
Anxiety bear is on the top of my list of favorite fics, I'm so excited to see an update! ❤️ -🐏
Thank you! I'm excited you're excited! I'm going pretty strong on the next chapter so I'm pretty sure the wait won't be nearly as long for the next one!💙💙
Hey so I randomly had this thought this morning and I may have just missed this in reading your anxiety bear fic or forgot but when ursa changes into her bear form does her costume rip off or does it just appear undamaged back on her when she changes back?
You didn't miss it in the reading because I never addressed it because I honestly have had no idea how. It's the one part of her quirk that I could never figure out a concrete answer to, so I figured I'd just not bring it up😅
But basically, in my mind, I always saw it as sort of like Beast Boy's costume (not physically wise, just the way it operates) from Teen Titans/Young Justice. Her costume would kinda morph with her but also not be seen, so when she's shifted into a bear, she looks like a wild, non-dressed bear. Just her and her fur. I really hope that makes sense.
For clothing that isn't her costume, I'm honestly not sure how it works. In chapter fifteen/sixteen, Ursa was attacked while wearing regular clothes and shifted. After, her purple sweater had claw marks and blood from the attack despite her clothes not ripping apart at her shift. So, I don't really know myself for that part.
So Kuma gives off the golden sibling vibes. Like the big older brother that has everything handled, so tough, so strong, so perfect. And like you can’t help but to hate him a little for it? And obviously part of being the best big brother is taking care of the little sibling, which is why he is almost violently protective of her. Idk, I really like his character in a way, but maybe that’s just me projecting tho
I agree with this. It's how I see him too. I wanted him to be the outspoken, loud, tough, hardass counterpart to the shy, quiet, avoid-confrontations-at-all-costs Ursa. I also really like his more violent protectiveness because I know I could use someone like that😅
In how I see him though, I don't think I'd use the word "perfect" because of his anger. It's definitely gotten him into plenty of trouble throughout his life.
