I don't know if this is relevant to this blog, if not feel free to disregard.
(context I do not have and am not diagnosed with an eating disorder personally but I do have some unhealthy thoughts about food, exercise and body image I need to work out).
It was my birthday over this weekend and I've eaten a lot of sweet treats, this has gotten me anxious over the possibility I have gained weight, whilst I've been trying to push it away and allow myself to enjoy myself because it was my birthday, it still occasionally plays on my mind. So my question is do you have any advice on how to accept weight gain? How to deal with body image (especially the idea that I'll be better, more attractive or loved more in a smaller body)? And not to push myself to unhealthy degrees in order to lose weight
Thank you so much in advance
First of all, happy belated birthday! And thank you for sharing your experiences. I think that it's probably going to be an ongoing process for you to work out these feelings toward food and exercise. Unfortunately, we do live in a world where we are pushed to develop certain pathologies around these things, and it takes work to achieve a healthy equilibrium amid all that. I hope you stay patient with yourself as you learn and grow.
I'm happy to hear you were able to enjoy some treats on your birthday, even if it triggered a lot of stressful feelings afterward.
I think the most important thing to remember is that your body will not gain a significant amount of weight in one weekend. So whatever you're stressing about happening to your body, just bring yourself back to reality for one second - your body did not undergo any significant changes. You had a few treats and an enjoyable time - there's no emergency.
If you're overall engaging in intuitive eating - that is, generally giving your body what it needs, in the amount that it needs - your body is generally pretty good at regulating itself to stay at the size that is currently best for it. Note - that could be bigger, it could be smaller, but either way, no dramatic shifts will occur overnight. Many people find their bodies do experience gradual fluctuations, and that can be hard for them to accept. I'll get into that later, but the point is that these fluctuations do tend to be gradual. Drastic, sudden weight loss or gain is cause to seek medical attention for underlying causes, and there is no moral value attached to experiencing these.
But for most people, fluctuations are gradual and natural. And even these changes people find hard to accept! Change is scary! It feels so big and final, even when it's not the end at all, and we are constantly bombarded by messages that we can keep ourselves from experiencing this stress by preventing this change. I think the best things to do is to stand in front of the mirror and remind yourself that:
Drastic change will not come to your body through a few treats.
Gradual change, unlike drastic change, is inevitable. It WILL happen.
You are not alone in finding #2 hard and scary! That doesn't mean there's any moral circumstance attached to it. Your body WILL undergo various changes throughout your life regardless of how you live it.
Because these changes will tend to be gradual, you can breathe through them and accept them as they come, gradually. You can transition into new phases with intention and tell yourself it's okay to find it hard.
Acknowledge that there WILL be people who treat you differently as you change. Sometimes that'll be in a good way, sometimes not. Continually ask yourself what you need in order to help you see this treatment as a reflection of them, and not you. What do you need to do in order to separate your approval of your body from theirs?
These things won't all fall into place at once. It's a process! I wish you the best of luck, and many more birthdays full of enjoyable treats.
