bottom of the river ; @edwynbrackcn - Tumblr Blog

achingblvsh:

“i have to. a future that doesn’t include my children is a future i can’t see.” she dropped her hand then, crossed her arms under her chest and let out a low sigh. with each passing day and letters sent to her husband that go unanswered, it seemed all the more clear what lengths she must go to get them back. “stop calling me vivi, only my nieces can get away with that. i’m sure your new lover prefers you with a tongue.” she rolled her eyes. “i am truly the wrong person to ask. which baratheon is it, though?”

“Well, Vivi, I hope to be half the man you are one day,” he goaded before let a laugh escape his lips. Edwyn was already regretting even mentioning a new lover, especially to someone he considered family. But he depended on the understanding of others at this point in his journey through one mistake after the other. “Trust me, Lady Poppy would very much miss this tongue and it;s skills if it were to be cut off. I forgot she had an older brother till roughly a few minutes ago. Probably best we keep this between us,” he winked before he laughed once more.

pxppybaratheon:

Poppy had always harbored some desire for a similar life. To love the person she married and ti have a small army of children running about her feet, but Septa’s had been quick to intervene. She was a Baratheon and she would be a sought after bride for both name and beauty - love would grow in time if she were lucky. “You cannot control who you love.“ You could only smother the feelings and try ignoring them. “You could run away to Essos - somewhere away from the Crowns influence. Still have a chance at love and children.”

His hand moved to rest on her thigh, more out of a reflex than an conscious effort. He hadn’t noticed that she changed into one of his shirts, and he cursed himself silently for ignoring her. Edwyn kept his rough, warm hand planted on her. It carried a feeling of desperate need, not for sex, not for anything less than companionship. A cough forced it’s way from his throat and through the awkward silence around them. “Why would I run when I have a steady job and a small bed? I have too much honor to just leave...this.” He wasn’t sure that it was he was referring to, but the guard knew well enough that the thigh beneath his hand was a part of it.

pxppybaratheon:

While she’d expected him to mutter the word in return, Poppy also wasn’t entirely surprised he’d continued to speak. Chewing at her lower lip, she was certain he could feel her heart slamming against her ribs at his side. This type of conversation was one she used to crave - juicy secrets to keep tucked away for a rainy day - but now the information settled heavily in the pit of her stomach. A silence settled over them after her finished speaking, her mind rolling over his words and attempting to formulate a response. Affairs weren’t uncommon - people often attempting to seek comfort in another that they couldn’t find within their spouse, but to say such a thing aloud seemed insensitive. “Do you regret your decision to join the Kingsguard?”

Her question caused his entire body to tense into numbness. Poppy’s heart faded to a soft thump to him as he poured through his thoughts, figuring it was too late to go back now. “I came from a very loving and large family. I always saw myself as a father, and now that I might be, it makes me want it more. I remember holding my youngest sister in my arms the day she was born, I hardly put her down and the wet nurse had to pull her out of my grasp. It was always something I wanted, and as the third son, I was at liberty to have more freedom and marry for love. But the only woman to make me fall off that cliff was Nesta, who was above my station and already married, and out of spite and desperation I robbed myself of everything I ever wanted. So, yes. Every single day.”

pxppybaratheon:

She’d stood quietly as he undressed, suddenly far more uncertain of herself then she had been the first time they’d stepped foot into the room together - an uncertainty that only seemed to increase tenfold when his eyes turned toward her. Ice immediately crept through her veins to her heart. It sent a shudder of discomforting emotion through her as it squeezed painfully at the organ before hardening it once more. Part of her wished to show the same coldness - or perhaps to simply spite him and go knocking at another kingsguards door - but the thought alone of retaliation alone left her with a heavy exhaustion. Shoulders slouched from their perfect posture as she took a few short steps to cross the space - carefully climbing onto a small sliver of the mattress before curling against him a touch awkwardly. Poppy had slept with men - at least for an hour or two - but there was always some activity prior to such a thing, and one of them was always gone before the other woke. The fact that this was suddenly different… nuzzling herself further into him as if to shake the thought, she tossed an arm over his middle. “Night.”

Her odd sense of loyalty was still lost on him. He was confused as to why she stayed when clearly he had nothing to offer her but disappointment. Edwyn imagined all he did was disappoint. His sisters were disappointed when he left, his brothers disappointed when he got dismissed. The large man just laid there, and let her curl against him as much as she wanted. His breathing was steady but his eyes focused hard on the wall before he started talking. “I was a guard for House Tully for some time. Being from the Riverlands, it was a common occurrance for third sons to be guards if not married. My brother couldn’t find a match, so, I became a guard. Specifically Nesta Tully’s guard.” Ed paused to take another breath, certain that he was ruining everything. But she had the right to know if she was insistent on staying. “I had never been with a woman before, and she proved to be a formidable woman. I fell in love. We had an affair. Then she dismissed me. That’s why I became a Kingsguard. I was in enough pain that I swore off marriage and love and took my duty. Her husband still doesn’t know, and there’s a chance the child she just bore is mine. I promised her I’d stay away.”

pxppybaratheon:

Her feet shuffled to keep balance as he whipped away from her, eyes widening a fraction at the movement. After baring pieces of their souls and the long day they’d had, Poppy found she couldn’t necessarily blame him. Emotions were overwhelming and navigating them was a skill they both clearly seemed to lack. Releasing a soft sigh, she mimicked his action - back rotating to face him as fingers began to pull the pins from her hair. Each landed with a soft clatter against the small windowsill, eyes roaming the room. Only once finished did she bend to snatch one of his shirts. Making quick work of replacing the dress with it, she only dared move toward him in order to hang the garment over the back of the singular chair. Eyes peered at him as she worked on rolling the sleeves - practically swimming in the material. “Would you like assistance?”

Edwyn just shook his head as he internally refused to look at her. He heard the movements and had grown familiar with their outcome. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see her, touch her. How badly he wanted to was the issue. He removed his golden cloak, letting is fall to the floor as he undressed to nothing before her. His back still turned, he took a deep breath before finally looking at her. Poppy inflicted a sensation across his body that was apparent, but it was the tugging he felt against his chest that made his eyes cold as he moved to lay on the bed, shuttering his eyes to her. “Sleep?”

karstcrks:

“don’t we all?” she murmured quietly, thinking of her parents own happy marriage. she thought she might have that with her husband one day, but it quickly became apparent that such love wasn’t meant for them. then there was luke. luke whom she loved, that she missed with every passing day and yet couldn’t seem to have. she sweallowed thickly at that, hand coming up to cover his own as she nodded. “it won’t be forever. i’m going to get them back, and things will get easier for you, too.”

“At least you have faith, I however do not,” he relented before removing his hand entirely. Edwyn wanted to crawl back into a shell, avoid the mess that came with complicated emotions. He just wanted to see the child, but he walked away. He did as she asked, like the knight always had. “I met someone, but I don’t think it is anything to find interest in. A Lady Baratheon this time. Tell me, Vivi what is with all the lonely ladies? They’re going to run the brothels out of business.”

#gloriedvivienne

pxppybaratheon:

She’d figured that after his confession, they’d perhaps have been able to continue a conversation where it flowed smoothly into sex like it had the night before. But the way he went from contemplating her words with care to sheer disregard sent a spike or irritation and hurt to ricochet against her chest. The emotion was quickly shoved away - knowing full well that their conversation had been hypothetical and she was okay being alone. Tilting her head back and to the side, she pushed a chuckle past her lips. “You will come to learn that I am not most women.” Fingers reached out and slid across the door, fumbling for a moment before curling around the doorknob. With a sharp twist, she pushed it open as she took a step back into the room and away from him. “I’m certain even if I wished to sleep, you’d quickly persuade me otherwise. So come persuade me.”

He moved forward into the room, quick to pick her up and kick the door. Edwyn gripped his arms around her and his mouth moved over hers, skipping directly to probing with his tongue. He held her off the ground, gripping whatever he could with ease. Edwyn felt himself swell, but it wasn’t in his groin as it usually did. No, this time he felt it in his chest and it scared him. He placed her back on the ground and stepped away, turning his back to her before he noticed his hands shaking. He wasn’t sure what was happening, perhaps that thing Damon called anxiety. But he wasn’t sure why he was feeling it. Edwyn couldn’t bear to turn himself back to her, ashamed at pulling away at all.

pxppybaratheon:

While she’d thought carefully about her response before, she couldn’t help the soft scoff the passed her lips almost immediately after the question had left his. “No one wishes to be alone. We are not meant to be solitary creatures and we crave at least one person to take notice. It’s why we lust and love… and anyone who believes they wish to be alone is fooling themselves.” It was ironic, really, because the Baratheon girl had spent plenty of time trying to fool herself into believing she’d be happy alone. “If I am bold enough to share his bed, I am certainly bold enough to take him. But such a thing is impossible if a man is unwilling.”

“Right, of course. But you know I’d have to be totally willing. You’re the first woman to take the entire length of me with ease, how could I say no to that? It’s typically too much for women of your stature,” he grinned, feeling pleased with himself. Arriving at his door, he immediately pinned her back to the wooden structure, pressing himself against her. She still smelled intoxicating to him and he wanted nothing more than to take her right there, but he wanted to treat her better than the others. “Are you sure you want to sleep? We could do anything at all.” Edwyn’s mouth found her neck, eagerly running his tongue along it. He wanted to be distracted, wanted to forget. He wanted to have the Baratheon to himself, but he was smart enough to not get caught up once more.

pxppybaratheon:

Her eyes rolled skyward, but he would hear no objection nor encouragement from her. The day had been a long one, and Poppy had yet to determine if she would prefer it become longer with him, or if she’d simply feel enough comfort to truly sleep. His question - though teasing - caught her completely off guard. Emotion rolled over her before settling uncomfortably in her stomach. While the Baratheon was typically quick with her words, she took a long moment before daring respond. "I’ve survived enough name days alone, and I certainly do not have a choice on the matter, do I?” Shoulders rose into a brief shrug, eyes only turning to him once she was certain there was only amusement shining in them. “While I am used to getting what I desire, I very well cannot just steal you away.”

Word games were not something that he was well-versed in, completely thrown off by how to respond. The brief silence she let hang in the air felt like eternity, and Ed listened keenly before he responded, giving her the same silent agony in return. “And would my Lady Baratheon prefer to be alone?” His eyes watched her carefully for any sign of anything outside of indifference. Again, he still had trouble reading her. “Would you be so bold enough to take a Kingsguard from his post? More so than you already do with that delicacy between your legs, that is.”

karstcrks:

she sighed heavily at his words, raising her cup to her mouth and taking another sip of wine. it hit far too close to home, not being able to see your old child. she still missed her children every day. she missed maia showing off her stitches of the day, samwell practicing his archery in the yard, lysara picking flowers in the gardens, little danos painting anything he could get his hands on. she knew more than she’d like of what it was like to miss a child. even still, she had reservations. “you need to be careful with this, ed. a child…is a big responsibility. once you have one, it changes everything and you need to put them before anything else. as a mother, i can understand that. but she still should have at least told you if there was a chance it was your. robbing you of that information was cruel of her.” she comments, brows furrowed and head shaking. she didn’t think she could do the same if she had been in nesta’s position, if she had fallen pregnant by luke. “give it time. mother’s are well known for doing whatever it takes to protect her own. if you want to see the child, you need to ease into it.”

“I have 9 younger siblings, I helped a lot with raising them. You are aware of how my parents were happy and in love. That was raw and real, and I wanted something raw and real. I wanted a bunch of sons and I might have one, and I will never get to see him. Hold him,” his face softened into a look of pain before he patted his old friend’s shoulder. “I cannot even imagine the pain that you feel if this is only a fraction of it.”

rhysandhunter:

Rhys was not sure of any kind of lead if Ed still felt the need to interrogate him, unless his plan was to scare him into confessing. But with no guilt to confess to, all Rhys could give him was disappointment. “Yes, House Hunter is a quiet one. We are known for our superior hunting skills, obviously, but we’re not the most scandalous.” At least they weren’t publicly. His feelings for Celaena would be quite a scandal if they got out, and so he kept them to himself. Although the mention of running after married women did give him a pang of guilt. “I suppose he wants what he cannot have. We have all fallen victim to that at one point or another.” Rhys was beginning to tire of the constant questioning, but he remained honest. “Under pressure from my uncle, I am considering trying to make a betrothal. So if you know of any eligible women, by all means, suggest them to me.” He smirked.

“Half the keep is eligible, it seems as if everyone is here looking for a betrothal. This is why I took the gold cloak, finding a murderer is easier than a wife, believe it or not,” Edwyn mused with a laugh. In truth, he had only done so in spite and impulsiveness, having been broken by a married woman. She was a hell of a woman, he knew that much. But his latest company had him regretting his choice. He wasn’t going to share that with a stranger, though. “And what is it that you wish you had? I wish I had an ale and a good prostitute, personally.”

pxppybaratheon:

“We all have our desires.” She mused, knowing full well that exploiting her own was not something she was ready to do - even if he had just divulged a rather personal secret. “I am not unfamiliar with the sounds a woman releases in pleasure, Ser. And as I am from a land rightfully named, the noise is not something you need worry over. It’s doubtful it will bother me - but should it, I am certain there is something we can do to keep ourselves entertained.” Eyes flickered to their interlaced fingers, heart stuttering within her chest until her gaze moved elsewhere. Poppy had forgotten the state of his rooms - small for such a large man alone - and undoubtedly tiny for them both. She debated redirecting them to the Baratheon suites but thought better of it. “We will make do.”

“I’m sure we could do many things, Gods know I could think of one thing I’d like to do all night,” he grinned as he walked with her. His encounter with Nesta still had him rattled, and he wanted to talk more but he kept that part closed off. Edwyn didn’t want to push his luck with her staying. He didn’t want to demonize his former lover any more than he already had, she was certainly harboring enough guilt. Still, Ed didn’t feel totally right with the situation. “Tell me, Lady Baratheon, how would you survive the Stormlands without me?” He joked, but was still genuinely curious. It sat on his mind, to a lesser extent, whether or not she was getting attached, even after one night. He wondered what she felt, it was hard to read, even for a man who grew up surrounded by women, he rarely understood them.

riverquccn:

NESTA felt as though a weight had been lifted off her chest for the first time in years, since the moment she’d first realized she was with child. she remained stiff as he moved towards her, laid his lips on her hair. she could not allow herself to get caught up in the emotion of it all, could not think of the consequences of what she was asking for him. he had known from the start, she reasoned with herself, what he was getting into with her. she could not take responsibility for his foolishness, no matter what part she had played in it. but as he turned away from her, nesta allowed herself a single moment of weakness, a stabbing feeling in her heart as she looked at the man who had loved her and whose life she might have ruined. “edwyn…” she all but whispered, a tenderness in her voice that surprised even herself. “thank you.” nesta was not in the habit of saying thank you, but edwyn deserved as much for what she was asking him to give up.

Edwyn had crouched down, carefully pulling together the debris from his outburst. He carefully handled contents, embarrassment clicking into place. Ed had never been a tempermental person, even when his brothers went in on him, so the situation wasn’t something he’d let go from himself easily. At her gratitude, he turned back to her and simply nodded. He didn’t think there was anything he could really say, and she wasn’t clearly keen on talking to him. The mistakes made were not her own, he held as much blame. He could have been more careful, with his manhood and his heart. He recognized that. “I’m sorry for putting you in this position,” he mumbled before returning to lift the table and fix the only thing he had any control over. “Just keep your husband away from me.”

kingsgvards:

AS FAR as damon was concerned, his fellow kingsguard were his brothers. they were more family to him now than the family he had left behind in duskendale. yet he’d always gotten a sense of coldness from ser edywn, one of the newer members of the guard, despite his attempts at kindness, which was why it was such a shock to see the man walk through his door. “edwyn?” he began, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. he quickly took in his expression and felt a wave of compassion for the man. “come. sit down.” he said firmly, though not unkindly. this was not the first time one of his brothers had come to him in such a state, in fact it was a situation he was rather familiar with. already he was moving towards a cabinet where he kept his stash of alcohol for moments exactly like these.

Edwyn did as he was told, finding a place to sit as his hands shook. He wanted to break down there, but he kept some sort of wit about him. “I have a child, probably. Maybe. She doesn’t know.” The kingsguard blurted the words out through a web of curses and stutters, as if he was still in disbelief. His eyes fell grateful on the alcohol, and briefly, on Damon. It was nice to say it, but Ed wasn’t sure if it had made him feel better. “Lady Tully doesn’t know who the father is. And won’t let me near the child. Ever. So I will never know.”

@kingsgvards

The nights were dragging on and the days weren’t helping. While Poppy kept his bed warm, he still felt as if he were far removed from everything that was happening. And still sometimes he’d get the sensation that he was drowning in air. Edwyn was unfamiliar with such emotions, and he didn’t particularly care for how it effected his work. He was losing motivation, drive, sense of any duty. He tapped on the door before pushing himself in, the drowning sensation happening as soon as he saw Damon. Ed felt as if he were choking and his hands shook, unable to get any words out while his eyes darted as if looking for an escape.

pxppybaratheon:

“I believe we discussed the dangers of granting me whatever I wished not long ago. Do be careful.” She didn’t wish for him to be embarrassed over it - not when Poppy had only ever seen the men in her family break as he had. With Baratheon men she could push, prod and poke until they returned to a relatively normal state but with a man she wasn’t entirely familiar with there was a fine line. Pushing herself from against the wall proved to be a bigger task then she anticipated with him so close, but once she managed it, Poppy curled her fingers back around one of his arm and began down the corridor. “I hardly slept - of course I’d like to sleep… eventually.”

“Perhaps I like being told what to do,” he teased mercilessly before moving out of her way. He thought for a moment she was putting a metaphorical distance between them in the physical, but he hadn’t time to think about it too much before he found himself following after her as his cape swished in the wind. “Well, if you want to sleep in my rooms again, expect some loud animal noises from my neighbor, I think he’s found himself a hellcat.” Edwyn would have usually been jealous but she was a far more enticing situation to be tangled with. He caught up to her in a few steps before grabbing her hand, lacing his fingers in hers. “I might wrap myself around you, it is a small bed after all.”

riverquccn:

IN ANOTHER life perhaps, nesta might have been moved by the sight of the man before her crying. she might have gone to him with apologies and promises on her lips. but nesta had never been a gentle woman and all she felt now was irritation. “edwyn,” she said softly, for she had learned long ago how to play the role of the soft little noble woman everyone wished her to be. “if you care for this child at all, if you have any ounce of compassion left for me you will stay away.” nesta had never before in her life needed to beg for anything, she had always been able to get what she wanted through her own determination. but this, this was different. “please.” the word nearly broke as she said it, it tasted unnatural on her tongue but she had said it now, she could only hope it would work.

Edwyn had never wanted to change her, he had unabashedly loved every rough edge of her. She was unlike any woman he had ever met and the knight was certain he would ever meet. While they had many regrets between them, he never regret her in his life. Even if it left him depressed. He rose and walked to her, looking at her briefly as he used to before kissing the top of her head gently. His final goodbye of sorts, the one he never got to give. “I know that’s hard for you, so it must be important.” It pained him, and he didn’t think he’d recover, ever. Edwyn’s voice dropped into an even lower whisper. “Out of the love for you, and this child, I will stay away.” He stepped back, refusing to look at her as he wiped his face.

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