Eggplant Darling

One man in a thousand, Solomon says, Will stick more close than a brother. And it's worth while seeking him half your days If you find him before the other.--The Thousandth Man

[catchymemes]

[inkskinned]

you know what? fuck it, man. the world is held in the fists of people who like to break things. at this point i’m saying who gives a shit. wear that victorian dress you don’t have an excuse for. dress up like a witch, pointed hat and all. who cares anymore. why worry about it when there’s bigger stuff to worry on. i’m saying. yeah, this lipstick is too dark, wanna share? i’m saying go talk to her, tell her that you like her hair. i’m saying she’s out of my league but i’m still swinging, i’m saying yeah i’m in a ballgown and it’s a pta meeting. what about it. eat the extra brownie, tell her your feelings. i’m saying if nothing matters than we might as well give nothing meaning.

[inkskinned]

#i’m saying if existence is a void at least i’m going down screaming.

it’s been 9 years since i wrote this. i was experiencing 24/7 anxiety so badly that i needed serious medication. these days in the back of my car is an “emergency party box.” when people admit they no longer really celebrate their birthday; i tell them to put the sash on and queue up kesha, we’re going bowling or something. these days i can’t spin around without finding something i am enamored with. these days i list 3 things i’m grateful for before i fall asleep. you’re probably one of them, just by virtue of you existing.

at the time i wrote this, i was suffering through a severe panic attack literally every night. i tortured my brother with constant 2 AM calls just to hear someone else breathing, because i couldn’t be alone in the silence.

i rarely wish i was still 23 even though ironically i had more hope back then. what i can tell you is this: i love the same way, but bigger now. i’ve worn the velvet cape to several business meetings. i spent thursday in a crop top without caring what my stomach looked like.

i told her i like her; i often dress as a witch. i still got glass in my foot this morning. i’ve kissed maybe a thousand people since then and met a million more than that; passing like the shadow of a hammerhead in trains and planes and buses.

i saw you, beloved, there, maybe, on platform in south station. you didn’t speak, but you said: i struggle to give the nothing meaning. the nothing fills up everything. it is just loud and yellowed panicked silence. i can’t stop shaking.

on the roof, birds curl together against the chilled spring wind. the sky outside of the craft store was an iridescent pink. the nothing already had meaning; you are giving it meaning by witnessing.

the act of living, beloved: it’s just decoding how to translate it.

[qcharlie]

please god watch this right now

[fangirltothefullest]

The editing of this video is hysterical and genius- they switch between so many editing styles to reflect exactly what kind of thing they're going for in each segment its GREAT.

[llovinghome]

cat in a cherry tree

[cacodaemonia]

[SOURCE]

[ghost-in-the-corner]

also he and Ariel have finally split

source

[lake-erie]

Frog and cranberries it must be fall.

[oolongearlgrey]

Frog and cranberries it must be fall.

[lake-erie]

Frog and cranberries it must be fall.

[frogsandcranberriesitmustbefall]

Frogs and cranberries it must be fall.

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[yourockthebeatofmyheart]

Releasing the try guys' episode of dirty laundry 3 years to the month after the Scandal is, actually, diabolical (affectionate)

[znj]

[orphiclovers-deactivated2026032]

If I was in a fanfiction and started coughing up flowers while working at a flower shop (because this is a flower shop au) I would NOT connect my crush on the tattoo artist next door to the flower cough situation. I would freak the fuck out and think the pollen at work was doing some Last of Us shit to me, quit my job and move FAR away. inadvertently my flame for the tattoo artist would fade with distance, solving my hanahaki situation and proving my 'the flowers were trying to turn me into a plant zombie' theory

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Mystery story where it's someone who plays one of those social battle games (like pokemon go or that old one about claiming territories, you know the kind) and there's this one coffee shop that they go past that has a claiming point that they're constantly taking from another player, and they know it's just one person because they have a routine, like the two of them quickly learn each others' routines and each others' battle tactics (or whatever the claiming method is) but they have no idea who each other is and don't communicate. And then one day the other player just... stops claiming the point. It remains in the protagonist's possession for a week, No changes.

And like, maybe they just got bored with the game and stopped playing. Maybe they moved away.

Maybe not.

The story is just this person trying to track down their regular gaming opponent who they know nothing about and have never spoken to to make sure that they're okay.

[butchhamlet]

okay i know i’m Back On My Bullshit but hear me out: found footage macbeth

[butchhamlet]

so much of the plot of macbeth revolves around… the fact that we don’t get to watch the plot of macbeth. we never get to see macbeth and banquo win a battle; we never get to see macbeth kill the king; we don’t see his coronation; we don’t watch lady macbeth die. so much of macbeth is what’s told through the cracks - we just get the lead-up to and aftermath of events.

so: found footage macbeth. security videos and transcripts from dunsinane and inverness. interviews with castle guards, lady macbeth’s handmaidens, figures like ross and lennox. news articles about the deaths of duncan and macbeth… battle casualty counts… whatever lady m wrote on those papers during her sleepwalking scenes… young siward’s school records… i could go on

[conan-doyles-carnations]

Love being brutally called out by the British Library

[endearingsalt]

Oh my gosh I went here a few days ago do you guys want to see the whole sign

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

I’m covered with “Librarians from Everywhere” but as a former museums professional “Tourists who think we’re the British Museum” really speaks to me on a personal level.

[fandomsandfeminism]

I’m “all ten people who think they’ve got the most niche interest in the whole building”

[the-faultofdaedalus]

actually fuck you worldbuilding

world where lines of succession and first-born are extremely important (not just for royalty, but also for common folk, but more emphasis is placed on royalty) because when you die, you can choose to stay behind as a ghost. except only your firstborn child can see and hear you.

royal families are built on this, with long lines of ghosts standing behind whoever the current ruler is. craftspeople who always have their parents in their ear telling them exactly how to be perfect.

this is consistent; a ghost can only see the ghosts it would have been able to see in life, so passing information from generations past is always a game of telephone.

of course this whole thing can be bluffed and exploited in a variety of extremely fun ways.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Imagine marrying the king and having the most immense pressure in the entire kingdom suddenly dumped onto your shoulders. Your life's mission is to bear a healthy heir in your very first pregnancy; if you fail at this then the next kingdom's ruler won't have thirty generations of experienced ghosts advising him. You MUST get pregnant quickly and easily and you MUST bear a strong healthy child that has an excellent chance of surviving until adulthood and having their own children. You know that if you take too long, the kingdom will panic and blame you. You know that if the child is born imperfect, the kingdom will blame you. Everyone controls every aspect of your life to make sure that you are the perfect vessel, nothing else about you matters, this is too important. If you fail, it will be assumed to be your fault, and whether or not the law is on your side people will react as if you personally have destroyed the kingdom.

Your life depends on being the perfect womb. There will be no second chances.

[feluka]

the paul mccartney is dead conspiracy theory is the funniest thing in the world because i feel like if he did die and the beatles did replace him like parents replace a gold fish and the new guy managed to look exactly like him and play left handed bass, piano, and vocals in the same style and produce the same quality of music consistently for 30+ years then it'd be honestly rude to mention it at that point. like he's earned it let him have it

[feluka]

the double is the one that deserves the title of paul mccartney because he actually worked for it. the other guy was just born into it

[feluka]

they had to replace paul because he died under their care (they forgot to refill his bowl) but john was solo when he died so nobody could say it was their fault

[simena]

Elisabeth Sonrel

[caffeinewitchcraft]

Story in a fantasy world where a normal villager is going back home from work when a wizard bursts out of the guild hall, mad as hell they've been kicked out of their party for "moral deficiency", and curses the villager for no other reason than they crossed paths.

So then the villager who has NEVER interacted with magic/adventurers has to travel across the kingdom to find this stupid ass wizard to undo the curse (which is something really dumb like "food they make always comes out puke green" and they're a professional chef), accompanied by the wizard's former party who "really should have seen that coming and fired him in a secondary location, sorry about that"