EGON KNOX

well you can twist and shout, let it all hang out. but you won't fool the children of the revolution. no you won't fool the children of the revolution

[rarotongasemurio-deactivated201]

[saintvalentined-blog]

Watching the boy’s expression shift, Valentine simply smiled — leaning back so he can fully appreciate the look of valor etched to the boy’s features; he looked like a hero, honestly. Valentine couldn’t help but be the tiniest bit woo’d by the sentiment.

"—Gus is a really lucky guy, Egon. I hope he knows that, wherever he is."

"——Hey, hey. Don’t say shit like that. You deserve — whatever I just did. You deserve someone sitting down and giving a fuck about you, and I don’t know if I accomplished that, but — well, I don’t fuckin’ know what to say, really. You’re a good kid, and I like you. Don’t — just, don’t think so badly of yourself. Shit like that is going to break my fuckin’ heart.”

[egonknox-blog]

He was determined he could do this — if not for himself then defiantly for Gus. He only had to work on his physical strength as he will admit, he had let that slip a lot. His handiwork was near perfect due to practising with Ryker and also having experience from home. He wasn't too bad with a gun either, he had a good aim. A few more visits to the training room should sort him out.  "Only time will tell to see if the feelings are reciprocated but I sure as hell am ready to fight and find out."

"You did accomplish that, Val and I cant express what you have just done for me. Just know that if you hadn't of come in then I would still be laying here smoking and contemplating how I could isolate myself some more. I like you too and I really do hope it all works out well for you. If you ever need to let it all out, I'm here for you seen as you now owe me one soggy shoulder from tears."

[egonknox-blog]

What is done in love is done well.

VINCENT VAN GOGH.

[saintvalentined-blog]

Letting Egon nestle into his chest, he ran soft touches across the other’s back — ghosting impressions of intimacy, he let Egon sob into his shirt; hands smoothing over soften fabrics, he idly massaged the other’s shoulders, pressing a very soft kiss to the other’s hairline.

"It’s not stupid — or, at least it’s not stupid to me. You don’t — we don’t get to choose who he love, and if you love Augustine, that’s not something to — I don’t know, be fuckin’ ashamed of? That’s such a beautiful thing. It’s natural, and it’s something you can’t fix. So, it’s better that you just accept it, and stop worrying about if it’s stupid or not. You didn’t choose to fall for him — all this shit you feel? That’s not your fault. I couldn’t — you couldn’t help it, you know?”

"And, for the record? I don’t like seein’ you cry, either. Your smile, your eyes — I think you look absolutely beautiful when you’re happy, and I’m sure Augustine does too."

[egonknox-blog]

Wiping his eyes he looked up at Valentine. He was right, there was nothing he could do about the situation. It wasn't his fault — none of it was. He had to kick himself out of this hole. He was only going to sink lower and lower. How was he supposed to find Augustine and fight for him when all he was doing was crying and wishing that he had never come here? The past is permanent and pretending it didn't happen doesn't do fuck all. He needed to fight for Augustine. He couldn't let whoever or whatever took him win. He was going to get Gus back, even if it is the last thing he does. 

"It is beautiful and so is Augustine. I can't just sit here any more if I want to see him again. I need to do something. I need to fight for him. Who would I be if I let him be out there by himself? He needs me to protect him which is one thing I'm not doing now. I need to do this for my beautiful Gus."

"Val, I don't deserve this. Any of what you have done for me tonight. I'm so thankful and I really do appreciate it. I really do hope it turns out okay between the one your hert belongs to. You really do deserve the world."

[saintvalentined-blog]

Valentine clutched the other to his chest, one hand gently running through blonde hair — his stomach locked with knots, he couldn’t even imagine what it must be like to lose someone like that. He’d been lucky, after all. Bernie, Cricket, Elodie, Blaise — he had entrusted his endearments with the stronger of the bunch. Augustine? ————

"Egon, he’s safe. I don’t — know how I know that, but I honestly feel like he’s perfectly safe, and this? He wouldn’t want you to sad. I can’t — Egon, he’d want you to be happy, right? To smile that beautiful smile?”

Leaning in to completely encase the smaller boy into his warmth, he continued raking through the other’s hair — murmuring an array of hushed nothings. Pressing his nose into the boy’s hair, he tried to calm him — he tried to assure him over and over again that everything was fine.

[egonknox-blog]

Egon gripped onto the other's top, he didn't want Valentine to go — he couldn't be alone. He had been alone for far too long, he just needed someone to be there for him. He wished he could of blamed Augustine for leaving him to make it seem a little better but he just knew it wasn't his fault. He didn't want to get rid of him, right? They had been getting on perfectly — he was always touching him and they hardly spent any time apart. Taking deep breaths and closing he eyes he tried to steady his crying. "He would hate me being sad. My eyes go red when I cry —— he loved my eyes. Should I talk in past tense? I don't know what to do any more."  Releasing his grip on Val's shirt he moved around to hug him properly. He didn't expect the other to do this for him, it was rather shocking to say the least. He had only spoke to the other boy a couple of times and after all, there was a competition taking place. Not that Egon had been involved up to yet. He couldn't concentrate on well, anything really. "Is it stupid to be so wrapped up in someone?"

[saintvalentined-blog]

At the dip in the boy’s emotions, Valentine found his answer — easily falling into the admittedly horrible bed, he didn’t bother spooning; wrapping long arms around the smaller boy, he hugged him lightly, not sure where his boundaries laid.

Still, just close enough to be able to lower his voice to a whisper, Valentine tried to smile at Egon, feeling slightly horrible for even bringing it up.

"——Augustine, then. I didn’t — I’m sorry, okay? He’s still missing, though. Not deceased, or whatever. So, not all hope is lost, right? I — hey, look at me with those pretty blue eyes."

Tilting the other’s head upward, Valentine grinned — trying to keep a positive attitude, he spoke directly into the other’s line of vision; pretending that he didn’t feel like he was drowning in blue. 

"I was an insensitive asshole. You want to hit me? You can be the second one to break my nose, which is a pretty big accomplishment, by the way. I’m assuming you won’t be the last to fuck up my face, but it still might be fun?"

[egonknox-blog]

Egon was grateful for the embrace, no one had hugged him in weeks — he hadn't had any physical contact. The last person to touch him was Gus. He was scared that if anyone touched him then he would lose the last thing he had to link him with Gus — his touch. Opening his eyes and his emotions he clinged onto Valentine desperately as he sobbed. He couldn't swallow his pain and pretend it wasn't there any more.  "I just want —— him to be — safe." Looking up into Valentine's eyes he took a deep breath; his chest shaking in the process making his lungs feel fragile and raw. The green of the boys eyes reminded him of the park near his home on Venus. Endless days he would spend there reading about how he would have love to have met Ryker and how it would be the most amazing experience in his whole life. If he had imagined the events afterwards like falling in love with an absolutely beautiful man who would be horrifically ripped from him, he wouldn't have carried on with the stupid stories — stories. "No — No."

[bigfancyguns-blog]

"—————Really?”

[egonknox-blog]

"Unfortunately. He was one of the first two to go missing."

[saintvalentined-blog]

"I have a feeling that falling in love with you would kick my ass. ‘Don’t know, man — you have that psycho vibe about you, and while I think slashed tires and burning apartment buildings are just as hot as the next guy, you seem like more than I can handle. Who knows? ‘Could also be one hell of a challenge.”

Raising an eyebrow at the boy’s mild discomfort, he kicked the spring-ridden mattress, nudging the smaller boy with his foot. “—You look constipated as fuck, mate. The beds aren’t that fuckin’ bad, so you can’t complain — I was going to offer to spoon, too. Shame, really.”

Grinning down at Egon, he took another long drag, sticking the cigarette between horribly soft lips; he shook his head, looking anywhere but into those damn eyes. He almost felt guilty.

"What happened to that dude you were in love with? Moving on so soon?"

[egonknox-blog]

Accepting the cigarette by biting it lightly to keep it in his mouth he bought his lips around it taking a drag. Falling back on his bed he took the advantage of having his arms free to take the cigarette from his mouth to exhale. "Someone who you wouldn't be able to handle? I'm astonished that there's someone you can't handle especially someone like little old me —— Also, I'm more of a sneak into your house and have a bath kind of guy. Compared to my bed at home, this is like sleeping on nails."  Making himself more comfortable on the bed he motioned for Valentine to join him. If they were going to spoon, he had to be the little spoon. At the mentioned of Augustine his chest felt heavy — he closed his eyes to stop himself from letting his emotions get the better of him. "Excuse me 'that dude' is called Augustine. It's been nearly four weeks — four."

[bigfancyguns-blog]

"If you even imply that Adora’s dead, I’ll cut out your vocal chords.”

[egonknox-blog]

"You can count on me to keep my mouth shut. I know what it feels like."

[saintvalentined-blog]

"I wouldn’t doubt it. I mean, shit — pretty sure people could get it off to those eyes alone. But, I also have a thing for blue eyes. It’s a known fact, don’t look so fuckin’ proud.”

Easily snatching away the other’s cigarette, he only judged the crushed item slightly; who the fuck was he to bitch about the state of a cigarette? It wasn’t like there was a gift shop they could be stocking up with — he simply took a few particularly languid drags, passing it back to Egon.

"I think I’d make a fuckin’ great porn star. I have a huge cock, so I’m halfway there.”

[egonknox-blog]

"Don't tell me that — I'll use them to my advantage and make you fall deeply in love with me. Really? Thought you would have been like one of those sweets where the outside looks good but then you get to the inside and the toy is crap. "

Winking at Valentine he shuffled slightly trying to make himself comfortable. Springs were digging into his elbows and he was sure one was eventually going to rip his arm off if he stayed there much longer — yet he stayed laying due to not having the energy to get up. Egon opened his mouth looking up at Valentine waiting — hopeful that he would put the cigarette between his lips for him so he didn't have to move.

[saintvalentined-blog]

He hadn’t meant to stop. But, the last time he’d seen the blue-eyed blue, he’d been in a less-than-stellar condition. Now? Well, he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t digging his cigarette into his arm, so he supposed the answer was better — still, he turned into the bland room, raising his eyes at Egon.

"——You know, if you’re going to keep the door open, you might as well be jerkin’ it off, or somethin’ — you know, givin’ us all a fuckin’ show. Pretty sure we’re bein’ monitored all the fuckin’ time, so someone would have a recordin’, too. Really, this is amateur porn waitin’ to happen.”

[egonknox-blog]

Egon didn't bother sitting up to see who had walked into the room  — he recognised the dry wit instantly and sighed. He was kind of thankful for the interruption yet he wasn't going to admit that to Valentine  — or to himself for that matter. Bringing the cigarette up to his lips again he chuckled; just enough to show that he wasn't be ignorant. Taking one last drag he reached over to stub it out in the ashtray on the side of his bedside and then propped himself up on his elbows. "Not everyone has the same twisted fantasies as you, Valentine. Keep your amatuer comments to yourself  — how do you know I haven't  done it before? I could be a very experienced porn star."

[egonknox-blog]

Gently running his hand along the blanket of his new bed he fell down and stared at the ceiling. Was it normal to feel this alone? He's been alone all his life but this — this was different. This hurt. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his lighter and a slightly crumpled cigarette. Bringing it to his lips he flicked the cap off his lighter. Lighting it up he took a drag — sighing as the smoke escaped. Extinguishing the flame he threw the lighter on the floor and lay there for a little while longer. 

[egonknox-blog]

i smell heartbreak on my hands, i feel sick to my stomach as i begin to stand. i see your outline in my bed in the same spot i watched him rest his head.

[elodiexahn-blog-deactivated2021]

"Smooth throw, too. Not so much an enthusiast than a hobbyist. And for, you know, just in case.”

[egonknox-blog]

"Want to collect them all and keep them. Better to be safe than sorry — especially here."

[egonknox-blog]

EGGNOG + EL-BELL (∪ ◡ ∪) 

[elodiexahn-blog-deactivated2021]

"I know, it’s actually a very pleasant surprise. In my case, they’re several steps up from mine. My old ones were cheap as hell."

[egonknox-blog]

"They're so sleek and glisten beautifully. Are you a knife enthusiast young El-Bell?"

[leviathanjames]

"Did you use knives for practice at home? I’m sure you’re quite well trained with them now."

[egonknox-blog]

"I was involved in a couple of revolution groups and we often used knifes. Well, I wouldn't say well trained but I certainly know how to use one to my advantage. Have you had any experience with them?