This is what I do all day...

I drive a mini-van but can rock a pair of Christian Louboutins better than you can.. This is my life and the daily struggle of tryng to remember to feed the dog! Oh yeah, I'm a nurse (and a nursing professor) on my days off.. Tweet me @aseverheather

[ehretha]

Conversations over sushi

Ben:  Mommy do you know what an Oder is?

Me: “A bad smell.. why?”

Ben: “No mommy.. capital O d e r.. it’s short for online dater”

And now you know too

[ehretha]

You know your moms an OB nurse when.. Adam: "It looks like someone's water broke over there"

[ehretha]

Can I get a translator up in here?

Adam: Ben! Look! That guy over there with the carts just dabbed!

Me:  I don’t get this whole dab thing.. what does that mean?

Adam:  It’s a thing mommy..

Me:  I know but what is the point.. why do you do it?

Adam:  To get lit..

Me:  Umm what?

Adam: You know.. get lit.. like be cool..

Me:  In my world getting lit is not something I want my kids looking to do.. Why not just say: “To be cool.” 

Ben:  Because cool is dead mommy.. no one says that anymore.. it means: constipated, overrated, out of style, loser..

Adam:  Ok.. we need to school you.. do you know what a dank meme is?

Me:  I know what a meme is.. it’s when there is a picture with words on it..

Adam:  Ok well a dank meme is a popular meme.. like doggo fight.. thats a dank meme..

Me: I’m so confused.. what does this have to do with dabbing?

Ben:  Mommy.. you should dab.. just do it..

Me:  Then I’ll be a lit mom right?

Adam: Yeah.. you got it!

Me:  But wouldn’t you be embarrassed if your mother dabbed?

Adam + Ben:  Yes.. so you probably shouldn’t..

I totally dabbed in Costco.. and my kids laughed.. and I felt like the littest mom EVER!

[ehretha]

You know your mom's a nurse when... Ben: "Mommy I think Fred is constipated.. I think we need to give him more fiber.. Or some prunes.." Me: "I don't know hunnie.. In all my years of nursing I never learned to treat a constipated lizard.."

[ehretha]

Conversations with my 13 year old

Mom can we stop at Wawa on the way to lacrosse so I can get a sizzli?

Sure.. As long as you don’t mind me waiting in the car while you go in.. Because I cannot be seen in public looking like this

Yes sure .. It’s fine.. I agree with you.. I wouldn’t want to be seen looking like that either

[ehretha]

Does anyone else making choosing a color for your pedicure into a bigger deal then it really is?

Seriously..

What is the problem?

I find myself standing there for a good 5 minutes obsessing over the choices as if this decision is life or death...

It’s a 2 week commitment!

[ehretha]

I really can't with this kid.. Making foxes Building roller coasters I wish my weeks were this boring!

[ehretha]

Don't think for one second I didn't lay down on the ground in the middle of NYC to get this pic

[ehretha]

Ever wonder what life would be like if you had two boys?

Here you go my life summed up in one photo

Knocks the prissiness right out of you

[ehretha]

Ben quotes

"Mommy.. I'm so thankful that you and daddy make me brush my teeth! Some kids in my class have teeth that are really yellow!"

[ehretha]

If ever I needed reassurance that he had a great birthday party This is it

[ehretha]

November 1, 2005

Otherwise known as the first time my then two year old met his baby brother for the first time..

Can you tell how excited he was??

I mean.. just look at that face!

I’ll let you in on a little secret though

The night before .. my entire family was at our town’s annual Halloween Parade having a grand ol’ time

Except.. I wasn’t

Because at 6am the next morning I was to be induced.. 

I was terrified of so many things that I couldn’t even pin point exactly what I was truly afraid of..

I loved the triangle shaped family we had created and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t picture us as a square.  

Where would another baby fit in? 

Would I love the second as much as the first? 

Would my husband? 

And what about our perfect little boy? 

Was he going to feel sad? 

Neglected? 

Forgotten?

These are all cliched questions I know.. but they are cliches for a reason.. and in that moment I felt every single one of them

Oh.. and of course there was this:

“How the eff am I going to get two kids dressed, fed and out of the house every morning!?”

You probably wouldn’t be surprised if I told you I cried all the way to the hospital that morning..

But then just a few hours later our baby Ben was born.. 

As I pushed him out I distinctly remember all of my anxieties completely dissipated in an instant..

Just like that.. at that very moment.. our triangle effortlessly became a square

Well.. more like a circle really..

Because amongst the many things that my Adam has taught me.. of the most profound has always been:

There will always be more than enough love to go around..

Ten years later there still isn’t enough sleep though!

[ehretha]

What do patience, a train, a track and a flattened penny have in common?

This huge smile

Never underestimate your ability to completely make someone’s day

[ehretha]

Ben the nine year old: “Mommy a bunch of people swarmed me while I was handing out my birthday party invitations.. my friend Anthony begged me to come.. I told him I already had 11 so maybe he could be a backup.”

Oh. My. God.

Note to self.. teach Ben the art of sublety

[ehretha]

If this is twelve I'm in trouble..

[ehretha]

This little guy has been hanging out on my porch window since Sunday The nine year old has affectionately named him "Mantee" Any of you insect aficionados know why he'd stay so long? More importantly ... Is it good luck?

[ehretha]

A student with a peanut allergy brought 10 of these cupcake holders into the nurse’s office today for us to store in our freezer

When her class has parties she comes and gets one so she’s not left out

What a great idea!  

If anyone knows where to get this product please message me!