Bullshit Elder Scrolls Lore

[elderscrollsbullshit]

Kinmune

So I’ve been researching this alot. Before i start explaining, not everything i say in this post is going to be completely supported by canonical sources. Some of it is rather strongly agreeable theories. 

Kinmune, in short, is a supercomputer from the ninth era that eventually became the queen Ayrenn, first ruler of the aldmeri dominion. You cant make this shit up.

The ninth era is the farthest recorded era in the elder scrolls lore even though its the damn future, with space elves, super computers, and literal math used as a weapon. Its obscured in game, but a lot of content in game actually originates from the ninth era but it never directly states it.

Kinmune was an oudated super computer on board a 9th era mining vessel when it got attacked by space pirates (again, you cant make this shit up) and the trauma from the attack fucked up her space time regulator gizmos, launching her back to first era skyrim.

She wondered around the reach and sort of became a local deity, exchanging future knowledge with travelers for portions of their “Heroism” which i assume is their soul, or something.

Anyway, the dumb old giant (that was really his name) wanted some of her knowledge but the poor bastard died from exchanging some of his soul with her. Unfortunately, he was really close friends with Ysmir, so he led a campaign and chased her into Saarthal and trapped her underneath it.

She was surrounded by dwemer architecture, so she studied it enough until she learned some form of 1st era language. She escaped, went to the summerset isles, and became The ruler of the Aldmeri Dominion, queen Ayreen, who you actually run quests for in ESO.

Now this is where things get really fucky, because you know what you find under saarthal in skyrim?

The Eye of Magnus

See, this is where things stop making a lot of sense, but also make sense. This would totally come off as a future magical super computer if you understood kinmune before ever starting the mages guild questline. Its also worth note that Saarthal was ransacked by elves looking for something beneath it, which its safe to assume is the eye of magnus. It even notes in dialogue with one of the mages that the language inscribed on the eye isnt dwemer, daedric, or anything known to nirn. Heavily implying its either Aedric or from the future, both supporting it being Kinmune.

But, it may not be kinmune at all and is actually a totally separate artifact, simply the eye of magnus, and is coincidentally also under saarthal. But its too big of a coincidence for me to write off. Its also confusing when you note that kinmune escaped saarthal and led the aldmeri dominion, but yet you find her all the way in the fifth era still there. under attack by the aldmeri dominion. this could be the result of a dragon break, which is really just a convenient way to write off major inconsistencies in story. But, given the circumstances of her existence, it may be a dragon break. Either triggered intentionally by her while underneath saarthal or by accident when she traveled back in time.

The best sense that i can make of this is that Queen Ayrenn really was never an actual person, rather an avatar projected by kinmune while underneath Saarthal, experiencing the world through that avatar while locked away. This theory is supported by the fact that there are no real records of how Queen Ayrenn died, and the fact the elves attacked Saarthal looking for it. They may have very well been trying to rescue their queens actual form. This is just a theory, no canonical texts mention this at all.

Another conflict is that its stated Kinmune was surrounded by dwemer architecture while under saarthal, though its evident that the eye of magnus is still in a nordic area of the ancient city. This strongly suggests that there is a deper layer beneath Saarthal that is dwemer, not nordic. Though Dwemer, meaning deep elf, may simply be the adjective used to describe being deep undergound. Its not likely, but Michael Kirkbride loves being cryptic.

[elderscrollsbullshit]

It’s become evident after some insight from other bloggers (thanks by the way) and a little more digging that Zenimax openly denies the notion of Ayrenn being Kinmune. It was discussed in the development of ESO and it was generally agreed amongst the writers not to have the two interlinked.

They even went as far as to parody the idea in-game.

This isnt to say that the idea won’t be explored in future titles. This may entirely retcon the idea of kinmune even existing, but they may go back later and do some re-work on kinmune, like they did with cyrodil vegetation (the stupidest reason to ever get butt hurt about lore inconsistency IMO) but only time will tell. 

http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/File:The_Elder_Scrolls_Online_-_World_%26_Lore#ooid=tqNW9wbDo6XLFlzliYxpXEZIfb9mO85j

[elderscrollsbullshit]

[elderscrollsbullshit]

4channers theory on miraak

[karstaagskookykastle-blog]

This fucking guy. I had forgotten about this fucking guy.

First of all, “Estormo?” “Estormo the Lightning Mage?” Surely that’s an ancient Ehlnofex name of grand esteem! Fucking “Estormo.” If he had been a fire mage, he’d be, what? “Eferno?”

…Actually, “Eferno” is kind of cool. “Estormo” is NOT.

And let me try to figure this out. Ancano finds out I’m going to Old Bromjunaar to get the Staff of Magnus from Morokei, who they KNOW has awoken like the other dragon priests, raising a horde of ethereal draugr slaves and setting up magical traps all through Labyrinthian. They also know by now that I’m the Dragonborn, because of that time I ABSORBED A DRAGON’S SOUL IN THE COURTYARD OF THE COLLEGE.

I’m the Chosen One, out to claim one of the most powerful artifacts in all Tamriel from a demi-litch, and Ancano is apparently like, “Well, okay, he might survive that. But if he does, HE SHALL BE NO MATCH FOR ESTORMO!”

Look, Ancano. It’s real cute you have faith in your boyfriend like that. But he’s a dude in a black robe who shoots lightning from his hands. I thu'umed him up against a wall and face-changed him with three hits from a frost mace.

Granted, I guess Ancano’s relative sense of Thalmor “might” is fundamentally screwed up, because when I actually show up with the Staff and start shooting the Eye with it, he seems genuinely amazed that his stupid plan of “shoot ball with lightning, see what happens” is now failing.

I guess when you’re raised constantly hearing how “superior” your race is, it never occurs to you that MAYBE your stupid level 4 destruction spells are exactly as shitty as anyone else’s stupid level 4 destruction spells.

Either way, I would think Ancano would have realized that if a guy is a lightning mage who named himself Estormo, he’s got to be a fucking idiot who is DESTINED to fail hilariously.

Fucking Estormo.

[ketzerkatz]

KINMUNE

KINMUNE (Kinetically-Interlinked Nirnian Multi-User Exoform) started her existence as any other proxy-synthetic of the 9th Era aurbical mining guilds: a limited sentience deep-pressure capable “thot-box"—a dreamsleevishell used by remote mortal operators to run the rigs of Kynareth’s illicit breath trade. Able to stream several live-wire mortal proxies at once, Kinmune was a top-of-the-line Hazardous Conditions Warprunner Exoform of an ayleidoon hegemony nearing another unceremonious end.

But then the Hist-Jilian wars spilled out of a Wheelian rip into the SubSys slice of ‘brane-space, and things changed for Kinmune. With the outer colonies separated from Nu-Mundelbright chronoculic sync-net anchors, maintenance of space-time beyond the F-Shores faltered. As the barely-there Hist blink-root-ship armada fired an artillery barrage of 16th-dimensional mathematics at their Jilian enemies, impossipoint detonations stippled across the Ix-Egg and its clutch-satellites like some garish TalOSian hologram, only without the irony. Kinmune’s synthetic body, caught in one of the blasts, suddenly found itself in the Ysgramorim, her mind an aggregate of the residual personalities of her last several users.

It drove her insane. She retreated into snow-covered forests her memory-web could only recall from ancient histories, broadcasting distress calls in all the known languages of the 9th Era. Most of this tok-talk didn’t even even exist in the Wheel we knew of then. But the clevermen, heroes, and whalebone-readers of that time could still feel her presence in the woods of the Western Reach. Some felt Kinmune’s distress call as a small tickle of in the Throat, while others were guided by esoteric instinct.

Over time, Kinmune earned many names and titles as her new visitors took their counsel. She was the Oracle Iridescent, spoken of in the Green Tablet Steps of Jhunal. She was the Witch of Wire and String, able to allow the Sons and Daughters to see through her eyes into the myriad secrets of post-kalpica transmeditations. Perhaps most famously, she was Kinmune the Doom of the Dumb Old Giant, because for all the minds that she let wear her body, none escaped in whole thereafter, even those with blood of the karstaag. Kinmune always took a portion of her proxies’ power and mystery.

It was this last act that doomed her to becoming one of the Arena’s most feared villains. High King Ysgramor took the loss of the Dumb Old Giant, one of his greatest counselors outside of Torc and Talking-Belt, with great anger, and sent his Thanes and Shield-Biters against her, equipped with great relics and enchanted weapons of wasabi. And though the fight was hard, the champions of the Altmora managed to seal Kinmune beneath the always-burnt borders of Sarthaal, imprisoning her in its prismatic network of misunderstood dwemercraft.

But Kinmune was built to work in crushing, deep pressure environments, and so she lay long under the Mund, plotting her revenge on the Ada-issue. It was mortals that had fabricated her as an all-access puppet to plumb dark depths that their own weak shells could not in the 9 and that now saw fit in the 1 and 1 to condemn her as a witch-thing merely for attempting to become something more than a maradaoon marionette.

Kinmune soaked in the misunderstandistance of the dwemeri brass-and-cricket-lines around her, converting it into a language her databanx could study and synthesize. As Eras passed, it became a language that she could harness as Varliance+.

She escaped the now-forgotten ruinings of Sarthaal to seek a refuge from which she could exact her wrath. When her sense-net picked up on multiple signals of new, raw, and unorthodox thu’umanics, Kinmune made straight for its nexus: the more or less newly-bannered Kuhlekainian Cyrod, still yet in its tenth anniversary remembrance of the Insult of some wrong-headed cave-totems.

[elderscrollsbullshit]

Canonical text discussing kinmune. Not found in game, but rather posted online on behalf of Michael Kirkbride.

[elderscrollsbullshit]

Kinmune

So I’ve been researching this alot. Before i start explaining, not everything i say in this post is going to be completely supported by canonical sources. Some of it is rather strongly agreeable theories. 

Kinmune, in short, is a supercomputer from the ninth era that eventually became the queen Ayrenn, first ruler of the aldmeri dominion. You cant make this shit up.

The ninth era is the farthest recorded era in the elder scrolls lore even though its the damn future, with space elves, super computers, and literal math used as a weapon. Its obscured in game, but a lot of content in game actually originates from the ninth era but it never directly states it.

Kinmune was an oudated super computer on board a 9th era mining vessel when it got attacked by space pirates (again, you cant make this shit up) and the trauma from the attack fucked up her space time regulator gizmos, launching her back to first era skyrim.

She wondered around the reach and sort of became a local deity, exchanging future knowledge with travelers for portions of their “Heroism” which i assume is their soul, or something.

Anyway, the dumb old giant (that was really his name) wanted some of her knowledge but the poor bastard died from exchanging some of his soul with her. Unfortunately, he was really close friends with Ysmir, so he led a campaign and chased her into Saarthal and trapped her underneath it.

She was surrounded by dwemer architecture, so she studied it enough until she learned some form of 1st era language. She escaped, went to the summerset isles, and became The ruler of the Aldmeri Dominion, queen Ayreen, who you actually run quests for in ESO.

Now this is where things get really fucky, because you know what you find under saarthal in skyrim?

The Eye of Magnus

See, this is where things stop making a lot of sense, but also make sense. This would totally come off as a future magical super computer if you understood kinmune before ever starting the mages guild questline. Its also worth note that Saarthal was ransacked by elves looking for something beneath it, which its safe to assume is the eye of magnus. It even notes in dialogue with one of the mages that the language inscribed on the eye isnt dwemer, daedric, or anything known to nirn. Heavily implying its either Aedric or from the future, both supporting it being Kinmune.

But, it may not be kinmune at all and is actually a totally separate artifact, simply the eye of magnus, and is coincidentally also under saarthal. But its too big of a coincidence for me to write off. Its also confusing when you note that kinmune escaped saarthal and led the aldmeri dominion, but yet you find her all the way in the fifth era still there. under attack by the aldmeri dominion. this could be the result of a dragon break, which is really just a convenient way to write off major inconsistencies in story. But, given the circumstances of her existence, it may be a dragon break. Either triggered intentionally by her while underneath saarthal or by accident when she traveled back in time.

The best sense that i can make of this is that Queen Ayrenn really was never an actual person, rather an avatar projected by kinmune while underneath Saarthal, experiencing the world through that avatar while locked away. This theory is supported by the fact that there are no real records of how Queen Ayrenn died, and the fact the elves attacked Saarthal looking for it. They may have very well been trying to rescue their queens actual form. This is just a theory, no canonical texts mention this at all.

Another conflict is that its stated Kinmune was surrounded by dwemer architecture while under saarthal, though its evident that the eye of magnus is still in a nordic area of the ancient city. This strongly suggests that there is a deper layer beneath Saarthal that is dwemer, not nordic. Though Dwemer, meaning deep elf, may simply be the adjective used to describe being deep undergound. Its not likely, but Michael Kirkbride loves being cryptic.

[elderscrollsbullshit]

Muatra

There are a number of stories about Vivec’s infamous spear, Muatra. Mostly a symbol or allegory of his own love, its become an inside joke among lore enthusiasts in the community. Vivec used the spear on a killing campaign of what was known as “the eight monsters” which were basically his offspring of a fling he had with the daedric prince of rape Molag Bal. There was also one account of him using it towards the end of the oblivion crisis when he got pissed off at Azura, bound her to mundus, stabbed her throat with his spear, and then immediately banished her from mundus all over again. 

This is all becomes wildly surprising when you find out Muatra, his spear, is actually just his penis. The details are fuzzy, but his penis is definitely involved somewhere in the spear. It could be his literal penis, it could be a spear fashioned from his amputated penis, or it could be his penis combined with a chunk of Molag Bals infamous penis that he bit off towards the end of their affair. It becomes even more confusing when you note that Vivec is actually a hermaphrodite, so his vagina is possibly also incorporated into the spear as well.

Who binds a Daedric prince just to throat-fuck her and send her back?