Moved to cave-of-the-owl-witch

An over large burrito in a colorful hat and scarf, easily the size of a man, slithered toward the stranger. "Ho there, traveler! You seem a might distressed. May I offer you any assistance?"

Oh dear God.

He had seen demons with baby heads for hands. He had seen a man turn his own face inside out. He had seen shadow people turn humans into bread. He had seen a large, human-faced insect crawl across his shoe. But nothing, nothing in his own world or this one, could have prepared him for this.

It smelled like food. Was it food? Why was food now talking to him? Food. Talks. To. HIM.

Amadeus’ face twitched, and he suddenly began to laugh. It was a bad habit of his, to laugh when he was nervous or scared, and one that he never could control. Heaving a deep breath, he suddenly shouted, “I never left the Dream, did I?? This is all one, huge, mass hallucination!! YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the burrito, then turned and pointed at the insect that was still crawling away- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the grey people still milling about- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at a man in a blue uniform riding a horse- “AND YOU’RE NOT REAL!!!”

The man on the horse talked as if to himself, “Uhh, Chief? I… I got no clue how to explain this…”

Amadeus continued ranting as he hugged the giant man-food-thing tight, “Oh this is marvelous! All I have to do is wake up and I’m home!” He planted a smooch on the wrapping before he released it. Standing in the street, drawing a large crowd now, he proceeded to slap himself across the face. “Wake up, soldier! WAKE UP!!”

eldritchburrito:

Three Meet took the hand in one of his lettuce tendrils and shook it firmly. “So your name is not Nut? Then it is a pleasure to meet you, Amadeus-creature. I am Three Meat Burrito.” He stopped shaking the hand so that he could tip his hat to the fellow.

His ear twitched in irritation at being called creature, but he shrugged it off as best he could. “Eh, I prefer Ami, actually, Pleasure to meet you, although I’m sure it could have been better under different circumstances. Like I mentioned before, it’s been a very long week.”

He peered out of the sewer’s hole at the river, “Well, now what do we do? They can’t be still looking for us, surely? The officer was having a hard time convincing his superiors that you were even real.”

Above ground, the man on the horse was all but screaming into his radio. “Chief, you saw the picture!! You know I’m telling the truth!!… How the hell would I have time to Photoshop that?? I’m on patrol!!”

Backup, it seems, was not coming.

“As you wish, Ami-creature. If it were just you, then perhaps, but since you drew attention to both of us, I’m afraid they may be looking a but longer. That officer was trying to request backup from his superior. If he got it, we could be here a while. If not, we simply need to wait a few hours until the shifts change.”

He shifted in the pipe, apparently making himself more comfortable. “Since we have time to kill, how exactly has it been a long week?”

la-sonambula-deactivated2020112

????

#About Three Meat

An over large burrito in a colorful hat and scarf, easily the size of a man, slithered toward the stranger. "Ho there, traveler! You seem a might distressed. May I offer you any assistance?"

Oh dear God.

He had seen demons with baby heads for hands. He had seen a man turn his own face inside out. He had seen shadow people turn humans into bread. He had seen a large, human-faced insect crawl across his shoe. But nothing, nothing in his own world or this one, could have prepared him for this.

It smelled like food. Was it food? Why was food now talking to him? Food. Talks. To. HIM.

Amadeus’ face twitched, and he suddenly began to laugh. It was a bad habit of his, to laugh when he was nervous or scared, and one that he never could control. Heaving a deep breath, he suddenly shouted, “I never left the Dream, did I?? This is all one, huge, mass hallucination!! YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the burrito, then turned and pointed at the insect that was still crawling away- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the grey people still milling about- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at a man in a blue uniform riding a horse- “AND YOU’RE NOT REAL!!!”

The man on the horse talked as if to himself, “Uhh, Chief? I… I got no clue how to explain this…”

Amadeus continued ranting as he hugged the giant man-food-thing tight, “Oh this is marvelous! All I have to do is wake up and I’m home!” He planted a smooch on the wrapping before he released it. Standing in the street, drawing a large crowd now, he proceeded to slap himself across the face. “Wake up, soldier! WAKE UP!!”

eldritchburrito:

“Calm yourself, Nut-creature, we are almost there,” he grumped right back, wriggling casually towards the pipe. “Besides that, we are in the middle of a river. What do you plan to do? Swim away and hope a police barge doesn’t come by? Just sit tight a moment.”

A foul stench emanated from the pipe, but Three Meat wasn’t bothered. He slithered right in, going just deep enough that they would be out of sight, and then finally set his passenger down. “We can lay low here until the heat dies down.”

“Oh please. You really think this is my first run-in with the law in this land? They haven’t been able to catch me for a week.”

Once finally released in the sewer pipe, he continued with his snarking, “And if we’re going to continue traveling together we might as well introduce ourselves.” He straightened his vest as best he could and held out his hand, “Amadeus Aerinstat.”

Three Meet took the hand in one of his lettuce tendrils and shook it firmly. “So your name is not Nut? Then it is a pleasure to meet you, Amadeus-creature. I am Three Meat Burrito.” He stopped shaking the hand so that he could tip his hat to the fellow.

An over large burrito in a colorful hat and scarf, easily the size of a man, slithered toward the stranger. "Ho there, traveler! You seem a might distressed. May I offer you any assistance?"

Oh dear God.

He had seen demons with baby heads for hands. He had seen a man turn his own face inside out. He had seen shadow people turn humans into bread. He had seen a large, human-faced insect crawl across his shoe. But nothing, nothing in his own world or this one, could have prepared him for this.

It smelled like food. Was it food? Why was food now talking to him? Food. Talks. To. HIM.

Amadeus’ face twitched, and he suddenly began to laugh. It was a bad habit of his, to laugh when he was nervous or scared, and one that he never could control. Heaving a deep breath, he suddenly shouted, “I never left the Dream, did I?? This is all one, huge, mass hallucination!! YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the burrito, then turned and pointed at the insect that was still crawling away- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the grey people still milling about- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at a man in a blue uniform riding a horse- “AND YOU’RE NOT REAL!!!”

The man on the horse talked as if to himself, “Uhh, Chief? I… I got no clue how to explain this…”

Amadeus continued ranting as he hugged the giant man-food-thing tight, “Oh this is marvelous! All I have to do is wake up and I’m home!” He planted a smooch on the wrapping before he released it. Standing in the street, drawing a large crowd now, he proceeded to slap himself across the face. “Wake up, soldier! WAKE UP!!”

eldritchburrito:

He could feel the man pulling on his lettuce, and then on his scarf, but that didn’t really matter at the moment. Until he was sure they would elude capture, Three Meat had to keep going.

“Not here!” he rumbled, before rearing up like a snake and spewing three good sized fireballs at the blockade. They ate through the plant matter, seeming to burrow into the roots and vines and immolate them from the inside. As the sparks faded out, they left a hole easily large enough for the two of them to pass through. Three Meat barely had to slow down.

He barreled across one more street, over a flimsy barrier, and straight into the Hudson River. There was a massive splash, and then they were floating toward a large sewer pipe.

Amadeus ducked down close to the outer wrapping as they passed through the singed plant wall. Oh Hell, the damn thing’s a Fire Mage!!

As he looked up again, the two were once more in flight as the insane meat-filled monstrosity launched them both over a wall and into a very dirty river. For the time being, they appeared to have slowed down a bit; finally able to breathe comfortably, Ami looked down at the food man and grumbled, “I’ve decided. You’re a loony and I’m getting off your back now.”

“Calm yourself, Nut-creature, we are almost there,” he grumped right back, wriggling casually towards the pipe. “Besides that, we are in the middle of a river. What do you plan to do? Swim away and hope a police barge doesn’t come by? Just sit tight a moment.”

A foul stench emanated from the pipe, but Three Meat wasn’t bothered. He slithered right in, going just deep enough that they would be out of sight, and then finally set his passenger down. “We can lay low here until the heat dies down.”

An over large burrito in a colorful hat and scarf, easily the size of a man, slithered toward the stranger. "Ho there, traveler! You seem a might distressed. May I offer you any assistance?"

Oh dear God.

He had seen demons with baby heads for hands. He had seen a man turn his own face inside out. He had seen shadow people turn humans into bread. He had seen a large, human-faced insect crawl across his shoe. But nothing, nothing in his own world or this one, could have prepared him for this.

It smelled like food. Was it food? Why was food now talking to him? Food. Talks. To. HIM.

Amadeus’ face twitched, and he suddenly began to laugh. It was a bad habit of his, to laugh when he was nervous or scared, and one that he never could control. Heaving a deep breath, he suddenly shouted, “I never left the Dream, did I?? This is all one, huge, mass hallucination!! YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the burrito, then turned and pointed at the insect that was still crawling away- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the grey people still milling about- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at a man in a blue uniform riding a horse- “AND YOU’RE NOT REAL!!!”

The man on the horse talked as if to himself, “Uhh, Chief? I… I got no clue how to explain this…”

Amadeus continued ranting as he hugged the giant man-food-thing tight, “Oh this is marvelous! All I have to do is wake up and I’m home!” He planted a smooch on the wrapping before he released it. Standing in the street, drawing a large crowd now, he proceeded to slap himself across the face. “Wake up, soldier! WAKE UP!!”

eldritchburrito:

“I know what I am doing, Nut-creature!” he shouted back, dodging around a mini cooper with surprising nimbleness for a creature his size. They were drawing close to a red light, however, and there was an ambulance dead ahead. Three Meat bunched himself up and launched into the air like a breaching whale, landing on top of the ambulance with a squishy thud. As it rolled to a halt to obey the traffic signal, he slid down over the windshield, nearly giving the driver a heart attack as he darted across the street, just managing to clear the oncoming traffic. He then dodged down another side street in case they were still being followed.

His heart nearly stopped. Apparently the thing could jump!

As the creature pulled him along and dodged down an alley, Amadeus decided that enough was enough. He pulled on the plant-like arm until he was straddling the thing’s back, grabbed the scarf, and yanked hard. “STOP.”

Tree roots, vines, and brambles shot up the buildings all around, throwing up brick and mortar as they snaked their way past the two of them, until they met at the end of the alleyway and braided themselves into the shape of giant, open palm. Even if the burrito hit the palm, there was enough give in the plant-life to handle the impact without too much damage being done. Hopefully.

He could feel the man pulling on his lettuce, and then on his scarf, but that didn’t really matter at the moment. Until he was sure they would elude capture, Three Meat had to keep going.

“Not here!” he rumbled, before rearing up like a snake and spewing three good sized fireballs at the blockade. They ate through the plant matter, seeming to burrow into the roots and vines and immolate them from the inside. As the sparks faded out, they left a hole easily large enough for the two of them to pass through. Three Meat barely had to slow down.

He barreled across one more street, over a flimsy barrier, and straight into the Hudson River. There was a massive splash, and then they were floating toward a large sewer pipe.

An over large burrito in a colorful hat and scarf, easily the size of a man, slithered toward the stranger. "Ho there, traveler! You seem a might distressed. May I offer you any assistance?"

Oh dear God.

He had seen demons with baby heads for hands. He had seen a man turn his own face inside out. He had seen shadow people turn humans into bread. He had seen a large, human-faced insect crawl across his shoe. But nothing, nothing in his own world or this one, could have prepared him for this.

It smelled like food. Was it food? Why was food now talking to him? Food. Talks. To. HIM.

Amadeus’ face twitched, and he suddenly began to laugh. It was a bad habit of his, to laugh when he was nervous or scared, and one that he never could control. Heaving a deep breath, he suddenly shouted, “I never left the Dream, did I?? This is all one, huge, mass hallucination!! YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the burrito, then turned and pointed at the insect that was still crawling away- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the grey people still milling about- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at a man in a blue uniform riding a horse- “AND YOU’RE NOT REAL!!!”

The man on the horse talked as if to himself, “Uhh, Chief? I… I got no clue how to explain this…”

Amadeus continued ranting as he hugged the giant man-food-thing tight, “Oh this is marvelous! All I have to do is wake up and I’m home!” He planted a smooch on the wrapping before he released it. Standing in the street, drawing a large crowd now, he proceeded to slap himself across the face. “Wake up, soldier! WAKE UP!!”

eldritchburrito:

“I would be happy to put you down once we are no longer in danger of being shot or held captive!” he replied, taking a sharp turn down a backstreet. He bowled over some garbage cans, startling an alley cat, and shot through to the other side. He took another sharp turn, sliding off a curb and into the street, where he began to weave in and out of traffic.

“What are you– AAH!!” This psychopath was going to get him killed! He wanted to close his eyes, but they were focused on the chaos of the streets about them.

Those large metal boxes that he had been dodging all week were suddenly surrounding them, and all of them were making a hellish noise that pierced his ears. “Don’t stay here, get off the street! You’re going to get us both killed!!”

“I know what I am doing, Nut-creature!” he shouted back, dodging around a mini cooper with surprising nimbleness for a creature his size. They were drawing close to a red light, however, and there was an ambulance dead ahead. Three Meat bunched himself up and launched into the air like a breaching whale, landing on top of the ambulance with a squishy thud. As it rolled to a halt to obey the traffic signal, he slid down over the windshield, nearly giving the driver a heart attack as he darted across the street, just managing to clear the oncoming traffic. He then dodged down another side street in case they were still being followed.

An over large burrito in a colorful hat and scarf, easily the size of a man, slithered toward the stranger. "Ho there, traveler! You seem a might distressed. May I offer you any assistance?"

Oh dear God.

He had seen demons with baby heads for hands. He had seen a man turn his own face inside out. He had seen shadow people turn humans into bread. He had seen a large, human-faced insect crawl across his shoe. But nothing, nothing in his own world or this one, could have prepared him for this.

It smelled like food. Was it food? Why was food now talking to him? Food. Talks. To. HIM.

Amadeus’ face twitched, and he suddenly began to laugh. It was a bad habit of his, to laugh when he was nervous or scared, and one that he never could control. Heaving a deep breath, he suddenly shouted, “I never left the Dream, did I?? This is all one, huge, mass hallucination!! YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the burrito, then turned and pointed at the insect that was still crawling away- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the grey people still milling about- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at a man in a blue uniform riding a horse- “AND YOU’RE NOT REAL!!!”

The man on the horse talked as if to himself, “Uhh, Chief? I… I got no clue how to explain this…”

Amadeus continued ranting as he hugged the giant man-food-thing tight, “Oh this is marvelous! All I have to do is wake up and I’m home!” He planted a smooch on the wrapping before he released it. Standing in the street, drawing a large crowd now, he proceeded to slap himself across the face. “Wake up, soldier! WAKE UP!!”

eldritchburrito:

It seemed the Nut-creature did not understand the severity of the situation, and now he was going to have to take drastic action.

“Time to go!” he bellowed, twin tendrils of shredded lettuce snaking out from the opening of his tortilla. He wrapped them snugly around the nut’s waist, raised him high above the street, and charged out of the situation.

A green substance that smelled suspiciously plant-like snatched Ami up and lifted him high. He was suddenly flying! How he was flying he had no idea, until he looked down and saw the idiot burrito below him. Kicking out and struggling against the plant arm, he shouted, “PUT ME DOWN, YOU PSYCHOTIC DEMON’S LUNCH!!”

“What the– HEY!!” The policeman shouted and blew a whistle, charging on the horse off after them.

“I would be happy to put you down once we are no longer in danger of being shot or held captive!” he replied, taking a sharp turn down a backstreet. He bowled over some garbage cans, startling an alley cat, and shot through to the other side. He took another sharp turn, sliding off a curb and into the street, where he began to weave in and out of traffic.

An over large burrito in a colorful hat and scarf, easily the size of a man, slithered toward the stranger. "Ho there, traveler! You seem a might distressed. May I offer you any assistance?"

Oh dear God.

He had seen demons with baby heads for hands. He had seen a man turn his own face inside out. He had seen shadow people turn humans into bread. He had seen a large, human-faced insect crawl across his shoe. But nothing, nothing in his own world or this one, could have prepared him for this.

It smelled like food. Was it food? Why was food now talking to him? Food. Talks. To. HIM.

Amadeus’ face twitched, and he suddenly began to laugh. It was a bad habit of his, to laugh when he was nervous or scared, and one that he never could control. Heaving a deep breath, he suddenly shouted, “I never left the Dream, did I?? This is all one, huge, mass hallucination!! YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the burrito, then turned and pointed at the insect that was still crawling away- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the grey people still milling about- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at a man in a blue uniform riding a horse- “AND YOU’RE NOT REAL!!!”

The man on the horse talked as if to himself, “Uhh, Chief? I… I got no clue how to explain this…”

Amadeus continued ranting as he hugged the giant man-food-thing tight, “Oh this is marvelous! All I have to do is wake up and I’m home!” He planted a smooch on the wrapping before he released it. Standing in the street, drawing a large crowd now, he proceeded to slap himself across the face. “Wake up, soldier! WAKE UP!!”

eldritchburrito:

Three Meat turned to see who the man was shouting at, immediately letting out a sort of gurgle that could be taken as a sigh. “Oh dear, it is the constabulary… Nut-creature! Climb upon my back, we must make haste!”

Amadeus looked at the thing in utter confusion. “Surely you must be joking. Constabulary or not, you really expect me to ride you?”

“Chief, I- Here, hang on, you got your phone on you?.. Okay, hang on.” The man pulled out a black rectangle and pointed it at them both. There was a flash of light, and then the man said, “Chief, I’m sending you a picture.”

“You- What kind of magic are you using?” Ami muttered. He briefly considered taking out his dowsing crystals, just to see if the police in this Reality were indeed magical.

It seemed the Nut-creature did not understand the severity of the situation, and now he was going to have to take drastic action.

“Time to go!” he bellowed, twin tendrils of shredded lettuce snaking out from the opening of his tortilla. He wrapped them snugly around the nut’s waist, raised him high above the street, and charged out of the situation.

An over large burrito in a colorful hat and scarf, easily the size of a man, slithered toward the stranger. "Ho there, traveler! You seem a might distressed. May I offer you any assistance?"

Oh dear God.

He had seen demons with baby heads for hands. He had seen a man turn his own face inside out. He had seen shadow people turn humans into bread. He had seen a large, human-faced insect crawl across his shoe. But nothing, nothing in his own world or this one, could have prepared him for this.

It smelled like food. Was it food? Why was food now talking to him? Food. Talks. To. HIM.

Amadeus’ face twitched, and he suddenly began to laugh. It was a bad habit of his, to laugh when he was nervous or scared, and one that he never could control. Heaving a deep breath, he suddenly shouted, “I never left the Dream, did I?? This is all one, huge, mass hallucination!! YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the burrito, then turned and pointed at the insect that was still crawling away- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the grey people still milling about- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at a man in a blue uniform riding a horse- “AND YOU’RE NOT REAL!!!”

The man on the horse talked as if to himself, “Uhh, Chief? I… I got no clue how to explain this…”

Amadeus continued ranting as he hugged the giant man-food-thing tight, “Oh this is marvelous! All I have to do is wake up and I’m home!” He planted a smooch on the wrapping before he released it. Standing in the street, drawing a large crowd now, he proceeded to slap himself across the face. “Wake up, soldier! WAKE UP!!”

eldritchburrito:

“As far as I can tell?” the burrito replied. “It would be rather odd if you were sleepwalking, though it would explain your behavior.”

“… Well I feel like a horse’s ass.” Ami straightened his clothes out and sighed. “I apologize. It’s been a bit of a long week for me.”

The man on the horse was talking as quietly as he could, “Yeah, yeah, a burrito! Well that’s what I’m seeing, Chief, I-… No, I’m not on drugs, I’m telling you, there’s a nut out here screaming his head off and talking to a giant burrito!… Yes I need backup!!”

“Oi!” Ami sneered at the man, “Do you mind? The nut and the burrito are having a friendly conversation!”

Three Meat turned to see who the man was shouting at, immediately letting out a sort of gurgle that could be taken as a sigh. “Oh dear, it is the constabulary... Nut-creature! Climb upon my back, we must make haste!”

An over large burrito in a colorful hat and scarf, easily the size of a man, slithered toward the stranger. "Ho there, traveler! You seem a might distressed. May I offer you any assistance?"

Oh dear God.

He had seen demons with baby heads for hands. He had seen a man turn his own face inside out. He had seen shadow people turn humans into bread. He had seen a large, human-faced insect crawl across his shoe. But nothing, nothing in his own world or this one, could have prepared him for this.

It smelled like food. Was it food? Why was food now talking to him? Food. Talks. To. HIM.

Amadeus’ face twitched, and he suddenly began to laugh. It was a bad habit of his, to laugh when he was nervous or scared, and one that he never could control. Heaving a deep breath, he suddenly shouted, “I never left the Dream, did I?? This is all one, huge, mass hallucination!! YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the burrito, then turned and pointed at the insect that was still crawling away- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the grey people still milling about- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at a man in a blue uniform riding a horse- “AND YOU’RE NOT REAL!!!”

The man on the horse talked as if to himself, “Uhh, Chief? I… I got no clue how to explain this…”

Amadeus continued ranting as he hugged the giant man-food-thing tight, “Oh this is marvelous! All I have to do is wake up and I’m home!” He planted a smooch on the wrapping before he released it. Standing in the street, drawing a large crowd now, he proceeded to slap himself across the face. “Wake up, soldier! WAKE UP!!”

eldritchburrito:

Oh dear… perhaps the situation was worse than Three Meat first thought. The man seemed to be delusional. He watched as the man flailed and screamed, and even gave him a confusing-but-not-unpleasant kiss, before finally slapping himself like a nut.

“Er… sir? Sir, are you alright?” he asked in his booming voice, slithering closer. Speaking slowly and emphasizing each syllable, he repeated, “May I off-er you an-y ass-is-tance?”

“Shh-shh-shh, you’re not real, you can’t talk!” His face was incredibly sore now. “Come on, now!” -slap- “Wake” -slap- “UP.”

Ami brought his hand up once more, but paused. This wasn’t working. He was just slapping himself silly. In front of an audience, no less.

“… I’m awake, aren’t I?” he asked the giant food man helplessly.

“As far as I can tell?” the burrito replied. “It would be rather odd if you were sleepwalking, though it would explain your behavior.”

An over large burrito in a colorful hat and scarf, easily the size of a man, slithered toward the stranger. "Ho there, traveler! You seem a might distressed. May I offer you any assistance?"

Oh dear God.

He had seen demons with baby heads for hands. He had seen a man turn his own face inside out. He had seen shadow people turn humans into bread. He had seen a large, human-faced insect crawl across his shoe. But nothing, nothing in his own world or this one, could have prepared him for this.

It smelled like food. Was it food? Why was food now talking to him? Food. Talks. To. HIM.

Amadeus’ face twitched, and he suddenly began to laugh. It was a bad habit of his, to laugh when he was nervous or scared, and one that he never could control. Heaving a deep breath, he suddenly shouted, “I never left the Dream, did I?? This is all one, huge, mass hallucination!! YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the burrito, then turned and pointed at the insect that was still crawling away- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at the grey people still milling about- “YOU’RE NOT REAL-” he pointed at a man in a blue uniform riding a horse- “AND YOU’RE NOT REAL!!!”

The man on the horse talked as if to himself, “Uhh, Chief? I… I got no clue how to explain this…”

Amadeus continued ranting as he hugged the giant man-food-thing tight, “Oh this is marvelous! All I have to do is wake up and I’m home!” He planted a smooch on the wrapping before he released it. Standing in the street, drawing a large crowd now, he proceeded to slap himself across the face. “Wake up, soldier! WAKE UP!!”

Oh dear… perhaps the situation was worse than Three Meat first thought. The man seemed to be delusional. He watched as the man flailed and screamed, and even gave him a confusing-but-not-unpleasant kiss, before finally slapping himself like a nut.

“Er… sir? Sir, are you alright?” he asked in his booming voice, slithering closer. Speaking slowly and emphasizing each syllable, he repeated, “May I off-er you an-y ass-is-tance?”

creepiestcutiedeac

"You look like a regular girl to me."

“…I’m going to consider that a compliment.”