ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย โShould I throw this into it?ย ย Yes or no,ย ย quick answer.โย ย Gabriel lifts a lighter.ย ย If itโs like the Headmasterโs void,ย ย it will swallow it and prove nothing,ย ย just like Blitzbangโs bracelet.ย ย He saw it happen and yet Gabriel canโt wrap his head around that being the case.ย
โyes,โ eliana answers instantly, without thinking, in the way one falls onto a knife; at the speed of a single blink. if anything, sheโll be the first to know if the void suddenly decides to blow up as if it were a firecracker in the hands of a reckless teenager. theyโll have about a hundred and twenty seconds, perhaps a hundred and fifty, give or take, to run away. โi wish i had my cigarettes with me. but wait,โ she pauses, reaching into one of her pockets. โno, donโt. toss it.โ
โyou can see the future, right? so tell us whatโs going to happen. what is that thing and what does it do?โย
โwell, yes, i can but ย โโโโ โ eliana trails off for a brief second, reaching awkwardly to rack her fingers through her hair. ย โitโs not that simple.โ she tells herself that itโs best to remain serious, and sincere, that this isnโt the right time to be foolishly waltzing around the subject at hand, but the drinks she had just two hours ago wonโt make this easy for her. ย โsee, the future isnโt an exact thing, itโs, um, ehm, โ she pauses again, never being the one to properly finish her sentences. โour choices define a good portion of the future. and iโm not a prophet. i canโt see that far into the future.โ ย
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Itโs an hour or two into the wake, and Homuraโs already had multiple conversations, which isโฆ well, multiple conversations with multiple people in one day is more than heโs had since before he got kicked into his own void. Heโs had to talk to former Oculus members and offer his condolences and sit through their confusion about why heโs even here. Heโs talked with a few of his siblings, all with various reactions about the fact that heโs back and actually interacting with them.
Itโs exhausting. Homura loves his siblings, he really does, but heโs already weary, bone-deep, just from forcing himself to speak. On one hand, itโs worth it. Itโs so good to see them again. On the other hand, now he needs to nap for a million years.
Surreptitiously, he makes his way outside into the courtyard for some fresh air, and for some silence. Or rather, his own form of silence, which is the exact opposite: ears straining as he listens to the wind and the leaves rustling, the traffic from the nearby street, and the voices playing through his bulky headphones, an old recorded conversation between his siblings from years ago. This one was mostly just whining about how none of them felt like training that particularly weekend, and trying to come up with schemes to get out of it.
Slumped on a bench, he cradles his head in his hands, breathing through the panic he canโt seem to stop feeling. But the sound of a footstep breaks through his concentration, and Homura tiredly looks up. It shouldnโt surprise him to see Eliana in a veil. Thatโs just the kind of thing that sheโd do. But it still makes his chest hitch in silent, sudden amusement that almost startles him. Sheโs always been good at making him laugh, both before and after the void. Maybe thatโs why hers had been the only calls heโd answered.
โEli,โ he says hoarsely, and he manages the tiniest of smiles. โI like the outfit. Good choice.โ
thereโs only so much that alcohol can do to make the day tolerable. at least thereโs gin, and from what it appears to be, itโs top quality, with hints of coriander, the sort of brand that sheโs never quite seen on shelves back in the states, so sheโs already taken the liberty of pouring herself a glass or two, or three. thereโs no point in counting anyway. what she can do is hope that gorgon wonโt see her and try to chide her as if she were a foolish adolescent again. sheโs heard it all before, cautionary tales, reprimands, admonishments, but thereโs not much that she can do, or rather wants to do about it. change always begins with a want of some sort. the rest is a lie. eliana is her own stygian void. the pusher, the punisher, and the lost one.
she sees homura inside of her head first, evidently weary and all by himself on one of the benches in the courtyard, which makes the task of locating him a lot easier than she thought it would be. sheโs been talking to him for the past eight years now. little conversations, drunken tรชte-ร -tรชtes, subtle soliloquies. heโs heard it all. she used to talk to him all the time. itโs just that six months ago, he finally started talking back. she still wears the same golden heart locket with the picture of the two of them as teenagers inside, and she nearly lost it two times, first in madrid, and then new york, but in the end, it always stayed safe with her, unlike a good majority of her personal belongings.ย
precariously, she takes the first step, uncertain what to do with both her arms and legs as she almost starts to flail around, ready to turn on her heel and cower in shame. does she even deserve a moment for atonement? before answering her own query, she rushes towards her brother with sudden bravado, pulling him into a hug and reaching to cradle his face first. โyouโre real.โ i didnโt just make you up inside of my head. ย she doesnโt think that heโll understand. that heโll actually know what sheโs talking about. no one usually does.ย
โwell you know me, iโve never found an excuse to wear something boring.โ she mutters, averting her attention back to homura's quip as she takes a seat on the bench, leaning forward slightly to rest her head on his shoulder. โwhat are you listening to? can i hear it too?โ
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย โธบ ย ย ย your heart just breaks, thatโs all.
FULL NAME: ย eliana navarro NICKNAME(S): eli, elia NAME MEANING: ย god has answered; sun ย AGE: ย 31 DATE OF BIRTH: ย november 22nd, 1990, or so it was said.ย PLACE OF BIRTH: rio de janeiro , brazil CURRENT LOCATION: new york city, new york ETHNICITY:ย brazilian, white GENDER: cis woman PRONOUNS: she/her OCCUPATION: host at a nightclub LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: an apartment that sheโs renting in brooklyn SPOKEN LANGUAGES: portuguese and english
HISTORY. ( was supposed to be a summary )ย
tw: drugs, alcoholism, anxiety. please proceed with caution.
born in rio de jeneiro. on the same day, she was left at an orphanage where she spent a good portion of her childhood. she never had a real name, mostly just little nicknames and monikers to set her apart from other children. she officially became eliana when gorgon adopted her.
thereโs not much to be said about her life as an orphan as she doesnโt like to recall it. her true story began in queens. from the very first day, she knew that she was at the right place and with the right people, and she had no trouble adapting to her new surroundings. she also picked up english with ease, but there mustโve been certain miscommunications at the start.
she was always a natural entertainer. on most nights, she played music in her room a bit too loudly and probably used to force everyone to dance. while i initially mentioned billie holiday, she also played madonna and shakira, and trust me, her hips do lie.
as gorgonโs honorary problematic child, she also didnโt care too much about training, and was prone to stumbling, falling, sometimes on purpose just to bring out a couple of smiles. but the sense of serenity didnโt last for a while. eliana, unlike others, could never quite control her powers.
tw: drugs . ย alcoholism ย . ย she was the first to start sneaking in alcohol, the first one to start smoking, and after a failed mission, she turned to drugs, dissociative anesthetics, fentanyl, codeine, basically anything that would help numb and destroy the visions or make her feel relaxed. she had a tendency to ignore her previous success, like missions during which she had triumphed, and rather only lived inside of her head. gorgon did catch her, and for a while, eliana stayed clean because she feared repercussions.
itโs only after the teamโs disbandment and wardenโs disappearance that she turned to her old vices again. she just didnโt know how to live with herself. she would relapse and then stop taking them, sober up, and only drink, as she didnโt and still doesnโt see alcoholism as a real addiction. she also worried that gorgon would somehow find out, which is why she had her moments of sobriety. ย end .
she started traveling a lot and partying, even more. from madrid, barcelona, london, las vegas to sydney and tokyo, she just kept distracting herself because it was the only way to stay alive. she did eventually get back to new york. she could never quite keep a job, but now she works as a host at a nightclub. itโs one thing that she has mastered to a t. partying. and it pays well.
she never forgot the navarros. especially not warden. she had a tendency to sit with his picture, eat cake and or drink something, and just talk to him because she didnโt want him to be alone. she also sent the navarros presents and cakes for any sort of celebrations ( be it adoption days, birthdays, or even holidays ), and she always had their pictures in her apartments and her heart-shaped locket.
she is currently sobber, in her own way, but she still feels great guilt and resents herself for all that had happened. just think of sun yuan & peng yu art installation โcanโt help myselfโ. the way that the robot still kept cleaning and spilling, and cleaning and spilling, traped in a miserable loop of its own creation.
her pinterest board is coming, but when it comes to her style think of mary kate and ashley olsen. just fur coats, messy looks, black dresses etc. sheโs one stylish mess.
Text ID: Perhaps youโll escape. Day and night, this obsession. Itโs not that you have to achieve anything, itโs that you have to get away from where you are.
