The Severely Kinky and Asthmatic

Not really much else to say.  I'll post some of my writing, some of other people's, some pictures of my dog and maybe a picture of my partner in crime doing something silly every now and then.  I find acro-yoga and pole-dancing inspirational and love...

[elsaeris]

Yes, I am angry.

You want to know what is really frequent, true-to-god sexism in my life? (Warning: Stress-filled rant)

If I tell a family member/friend/stranger/whoever to "give me my privacy", "stop talking to me", "don't touch me", "No, thank you", (or what have you because what I say isn't really the point, it's what they do) repeatedly because they aren't listening and deliberately inserting themselves, my family members / friends / classmates /teachers will tell me to be more respectful.

That I shouldn't yell at him. That I am too mean sometimes. He is not being rude. I am. He's trying to help. I should let him. He may have been inappropriate before, but he's doing nothing wrong now.

Low and behold, I take their criticism quietly because no one seems to understand that if I'm raising my voice, there's a legitimate reason. If I'm getting pissed and overlooking my crippling social anxiety to be obnoxiously demanding, there's a fucking reason.

Today's reason? Earlier, an hour or so before, this person was inappropriately close to me, crowding my space at a truck and looking up my skirt as I climbed out. Making me bump into them. Then they insisted on helping me carry my things under the pretense that I was sore and tired. Which I declined but they grabbed my stuff anyways. (Which I promptly grabbed back in anger)

All in the sake of being nice to me because I was coughing and not feeling well. Seems harmless, right? It's good when people try to help you as long as they aren't threatening or groping or ect., right?

Well how about this: over a different matter after the truck incident, he asked me if I wanted something and I said "no, don't talk to me." He blatantly ignored me and asked again without acknowledging my answer. (we had eye contact and were in a quiet hall less than six feet away from each other so I know he heard me) I raised my voice higher and said it again. Only then did he back off and go, "Ooooookay." as if I was the one being inappropriate.

Bigger picture: This is something most people can brush off and it can get annoying and even outrage occasionally but why am I making such a big deal? Because this happens every other day to me.

I get my body objectified. It's not because I'm pretty. I'm not flattered. Maybe they find me attractive but that isn't worth mentioning when it comes to the fact that it comes off in ways that I can't defend against and am at fault for refusing.

I get my space crowded unnecessarily. I'm not talking someone brushed against me in the hall or we reached over something at the same time... I mean someone stood so close to me in an open area that I had no room to turn around.

Last but not least, my wants and needs get repeatedly ignored by the same handful of people because they see their wants first.

Then when I work up the nerve to be verbally angry about it over one of the thousands of times in the last year this has happened, I was doubted, sneered at and made out to be the bad guy.

Well too fucking bad.

If I'm angry and demanding, it's because no one listens to me and I don't have the energy to prove shit to you. Just trust there's a good fucking reason.

(TL;DR I just want to be left the fuck alone and I wish I didn't live around, work around and talk around people who don't understand boundaries but I'm too poor to move to a different state)

[elsaeris]

Writing challenge: Possessed main character who is the antagonist and protagonist

Green eyes.  Green emerald eyes.  The eyes in a twenty-nine-year-old face that knew every thought.  His own mouth couldn't curse those eyes, nor could his own hands reach up to claw them out.  Eyes he'd been subject to for seven long years.

These eyes that weren't his own.  They sat rooted in his skull, closed to sleep, opened each day, but seeing out of them was a nightmare of it's own.

Those eyes had come with a question a few months ago.  “Why am I here?”

He hadn't known, honestly.  He hadn't been able to talk in years.

He couldn't reply so the voice asked again.  “Why.  Am. I. Here?” Hidden amidst the dull blue glow of a vitals machine and the pulled curtains of his bed, a voice and tall shape of what could have been a man, presented itself. A newcomer unlike any man, with a voice unlike any man's voice.  A vibrating base.

A rumble in a chest, said slow and deep, “Are you the one who brought me here?”  It was hard to distinguish shadow from figure but there was certainly someone trying to talk to him in that bedroom so many nights ago.

“How rich!”  The shadow had barked. “How simple!” Motions that would be done normally with arms made the air in the room swim.

If a shadow had a laugh, it was the cold shivers down your arms, a brisk wind as you step outside.  It was the up and down shaking of a mass without any humor in it.

“Who knew it would be this easy?” It had mused.

The man in the bed could only stare.  Once, all he could ever do was stare.  Stare and pray and beg and scream... all from within his own head.  Stare big, brown, dry eyes up at the world from the flat of his back as he lay immobile, begging, praying... screaming...  Up at the creature beside his bed.

“I heard your prayer, son.  It is not god that answers, but I.”

Are you an angel? The bedridden soul asked with his frozen eyes though he wished more than anything to weep.

The curtains on their rings skid across the metal bar around his bed.  The sound let a figure move forward, but let no extra light in.  The endless, rhythmic, soft beeps of the machines in the room were the only reassurance.  Noises he cursed all hours of other days, now were a comfort among stranger things.

The newcomer bent down at his middle and locked eyes with the man months ago.

He knew what his fellow man wanted to ask and answered from just out of detail's sight, with a sly smile from a fanged mouth,“I am your salvation.”

Eyes that glared.  Eyes that stared. Green eyes that weren't suppose to be there.

They showed up in the dark and asked with sulfur breath, “Do you want to live again?”

[quotemadness]

It is better to love every person, than to wait for one person to love you.

Anis Mojgani (via quotemadness)

[toronoh]

everyone: are you in school? Have you graduated? What are you doing with your degree? Where do you work? What do you plan on doing, long term? What’s your ideal career? How are you saving money? Are you still living at home? When are you moving out? Are you still single? Are you meeting anyone? What–

me:

[best-of-memes]

[elsaeris]

What it’s like watching Game of Thrones on my own.

[find-a-reaction-gif]

Click the source to see the original gifset! (Don’t worry it isn’t graphic, just horribly, horribly depressing. Heh.)

[elsaeris]

Catelyn didn’t even portray this level of devastation.  This is haunting.

[loveisnotoveroverover]

Lead my Army by LarizSantos

[elsaeris]

I really hope he comes back but please god not like this.