don't test me bitch

ELVIRA 25 | owner of "life in the fast lane" hair/tattoo/piercing shop @elfira: you can't sue me just because getting your tattoo hurt. it's needles piercing your skin. it's going to hurt.

[elviraisms]

text: open

moe: hey

moe: i know it's like 11pm

moe: but i can't sleep

moe: are you down to go out and cause trouble

elvira: i have a doctor's appointment in the morning otherwise i might

elvira: i miss causing trouble

[elviraisms]

 lolacabreras‌:

“thanks honey.” she beams. lola can barely contain her excitement. this is her next stop to her career. elvira’s question snaps her back to the present. “oh, it’s a law firm. a really big law firm, one of the hardest to get an internship at.”

“i’ve been told i should be a lawyer cause i like to argue,” she said with a small laugh. “all the power to you. i don’t think i could handle it.”

[elviraisms]

 ycurlove‌:

“  you  have  a  python  ??  ”  completely  caught  off  guard  &  a  smile  spreading  across  her  face.  she  generally  never  met  anyone  that  kept  them.  usually  ,  it  was  the  smaller  reptiles  people  tended  to  keep.  “  yeah  ,  that’d  be  so  great.  i  don’t  know  what  i’d  do  if  something  happened  to  him. ” 

“i do, he’s my baby. i’ve had him since i was eleven,” she said. he’d been with her for most of her life. she didn’t know what she’d do without him, even when he was cranky and tried to nip at her. “that’s how i feel about mine. i know the time will come someday, but i’m hoping he’ll outlive me so i don’t have to miss him.”

[elviraisms]

 ycurlove‌:

“  you  haven’t  seen  a  python  anywhere  have  you  ??  ”  she  said  ,  a  little  too  calmly  for  someone  who  had  just  misplaced  their  7  foot  long  reptile.  “  he  goes  by  irwin.  ”  named  after  a  legend  ,  of  course.   he  had  a  habit  of  escaping  the  house.   @losangstarters​

“none except for my own,” she said. “i’ll help you look for him though, reptile moms gotta stick together.”

[elviraisms]

 penneywaspresident‌:

there  are  things  he  doesn’t  get  but  it’s  only  because  he  hadn’t  put  much  thought  into  them.  he  thought  daisies  were  nice  and  sort  of  uncommon  in  a  city  like  los  angeles  but  hey,  he  can  admit  defeat.  just  don’t  ask  his  wife.  “lilies  it  is,  thank  you.”  patrick  smiles  and  puts  the  daisies  back  and  grabs  a  few  bouquets  of  lilies  instead.  “i’m  sort  of  flower  challenged  and  i  know  it.”

“i don’t know very much about them. like, which flowers mean what, stuff like that --- but aesthetics are my thing and lilies are very elegant and classy and will fit in with any type of decor theme you have going on in your house, so it’s kind of a win either way.”

[elviraisms]

 lolacabreras‌:

“okay, i can’t hold it in anymore. my summer internship with kaplan & gold is set in stone !” she’s beaming. kaplan & gold is one of the hardest to score an internship with and is extremely exclusive and competitive with the amount of spots that are offered for the annual summer law internship. 

“congratulations!” elvira said with a smile. but then it disappeared and a touch of confusion appeared. “what’s kaplan & gold?”

[elviraisms]

 penneywaspresident‌:

he’s  having  a  hard  time  deciding  between  the  flowers  in  front  of  him  so  he  looks  over  at  the  other  nearby.  “lilies  or  daisies?  i  can’t  choose.”  they’re  both  beautiful  but  he  knows  it’s  his  wife  who  has  a  better  sense  of  this  kind  of  stuff. 

“definitely lillies. they’re prettier. not as common as daisies, either.”

[elviraisms]

 ffsjazzy‌:

“have you ever had sushi before?” chopsticks are something she’s become fluent in since living in america. “m’tellin’ you, i thought it was gunna be horrible but…” she’s chewing the bits of sushi she’s devouring right now. “it’s actually so good, do ya want some?”

“no,” she said, scrunching her nose. “it’s raw fish. that’s disgusting.”

[elviraisms]

 lovejckson‌:

“are you coming to the gymnastics meet later?” she mostly wants to find out who she can expect to see watching her, she doesn’t like to perform in front of people she know’s. not unless it’s family, or really really close friends, which she has none in this town. just the girls from the team. “i uh, i compete tonight.” she’s the best on beam, it’s why ucla recruited her. 

“not this time. i have... an appointment,” she said. it wasn’t a lie. she had an appointment with her oncologist. “good luck, though. you’ll be great.”

[elviraisms]

 cedricksss‌:

“well, seeing as you’re well aware that i’m a doctor i didn’t see the need to heavily convince you.”

“well not everyone has my vast knowledge,” she said. “sooo, did nurse valerie find the surprise i left her at the nurse’s station? she seemed like she could use a nice glitter bomb after that kid puked all over her.”

[elviraisms]

 indicahttp‌:

“if you say so.” she gives in, she doesn’t want to necessarily continue on about a rugrats show. indica’s not really sure if her sister is being truthful or just telling her what she wants to hear but nevertheless she doesn’t feel like arguing she just smiles and nods, an approach that’s worked thusfar so she has no plans to change it at this moment. “well is there anything i can do to help you feel comfortable while we wait for it to pass?”  

it shouldn’t have still been bleeding so heavily. it should have slowed down by now. it was always slowed or had stopped by now, so now she was getting scared and her own sister didn’t even know what was actually going on. “god, why won’t it stop,” she muttered. reaching to her back pocket, she pulled her phone out and laid it on the counter, unlocking it. “call dr. vale, tell her i have a heavy nose bleed that won’t stop or slow down and ask if i need to come in. i don’t know what to do anymore,” her voice cracked.

[elviraisms]

 cedricksss‌:

“if you saw how many lab-coats I have lined up in a row inside my closet….” a pause. “you’d think i’m a sociopath.” he thinks this is hilarious, but realizes how it might come across. “but i’m not, i’m a doctor.” smooth, cedrick. real smooth.

“that was definitely believable.”

[elviraisms]

 malibecks‌:

“oh! I know this one!” she’s a tad excited perhaps. “that’s the one where they robbed the grocery store right? the man who does my hair watches it every time i come for my appointment.”

“it is. it’s fantastic. do you go to the ‘life in the fast lane’ salon?”

[elviraisms]

 raphaeloikos‌:

“you ever thought about a tattoo? i just opened my shop, stop by yeah?”

elvira looked at her arms for a few seconds, her sleeves clearly visible as she looked at him. “i’ve done more than think about ‘em, i got them,” she said. “i have my own shop... but i could stop by and welcome you to the neighborhood. could be useful to have a potential ally.”

[elviraisms]

 coltfm‌:

“come on, buddy. you gotta work with me, we’ve been here for thirty minutes already,” he pleaded with the big dog. the sound of steps made him look up. “hey. any tricks on getting a stubborn dog to hurry with his business?”

“you can’t rush mother nature,” she said. “if he hasn’t gone yet, he probably doesn’t need to. how would you feel if someone made you sit on the toilet for thirty minutes even though you didn’t have to go? i remember the potty training process --- i couldn’t stand it when i was told to stay sitting down when i didn’t need to go.”

[elviraisms]

 reinacabrera‌:

As per usual, the weather in LA was nice and hot. Reina typically preferred cold weather but summer came in at a close second. She had decided to take a break from her sketching, having lost muse in trying to create the perfect skirt for a dress she was working on, she was on her way out the front door when she nearly bumped into someone standing in right in front of her. “Shit! You scared the crap outta me!” she exclaimed in surprise with a hand to her chest. 

letting out a shriek, elvira stepped back, readjusting the medical mask she had on her face. “god --- don’t worry, it scared me too,” she said. 

[elviraisms]

 loribuchanan‌:

It was rare for Lorelei to be home for long periods of time, maybe that was why she had never been mobbed by fans at her own home before, the location being a secret. Until now that is. She had been home for about two weeks and was enjoying her time off when she was stopped at the from gate of her house by a crowd of fans wanting her autograph. After appeasing them, the crowd disappeared and Lori sighed loudly in relief, “Talk about a major impact, that was a full frontal attack.”

elvira watched, leaning against the wall. she didn’t see what the fuss was about until the crowd left and she understood what had just happened. “i would have flipped my shit if a bunch of people just swarmed around me like that. how do you stand that?”