we all fall down; @em-barton - Tumblr Blog

subivanov:

I know how to do it, this is more a question on whether I should — but you’re probably right. I just gotta get out of my own head and work on this. It’s gonna be fine. It’s just a fancy party in the end, right?

Should, could. Doesn’t matter as long as you get it done. Makes the punishment a lot easier to take when you know you at least finished what you started. I mean... I guess, technically. I wouldn’t really know. Never got that far, but by all accounts, fancy party is a pretty good descriptor.

#[ elena. ]

madamebarton:

You act like I celebrated father’s death the way you and your sister did mother’s. I’m sorry Emily, but I’m not going anywhere. Both the school and the Barton name are my responsibility now, and I promise you I will do anything in my power that I will build them into something Mother would be proud of.

Mother will never be proud of you, Soph. That’s what you don’t understand. You have spent your entire life doing whatever you could to please her. You built a successful club from the ground up. When people think Barton, they have to ask whether the conversation is about you or Mother. So when will it be enough? Is she not proud of you yet? And if she’s not, why do you keep turning yourself inside out for someone who is never satisfied?

#[ sophia. ]

subivanov:

What he wants goes. I don’t know, maybe I’m just overthinking things. This is a big of a moment as it gets, I guess it’s stressing me out. Help wouldn’t be the worst thing, I suppose.

Probably, but no one’s perfect. And it makes sense for you to be stressed out. Consider it a crash course in delegating. Whether you’re directing the help or your students, it’s not a bad thing to know how to do.

#[ elena. ]

subivanov:

I wish. My Dom wants me to be hands on. I might cheat a little bit and ask for help here and there, but he’ll know if I’m not doing everything. It’s supposed to be a very personal ceremony.

Makes sense, and what he wants goes, right? I wouldn’t consider asking for help cheating, but giving you the mental energy to get everything done perfectly. But I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been in your position.

#[ elena. ]

madamebarton:

She never had to force anything, Emily, that’s what you don’t understand. I followed what mother had to say because I respected her, because I made an effort to see things her way. You and your sister, on the other hand, went out of your way to go against everything she stood for. I can only imagine the joy the two of you must be feeling.

Right, right, like you’ve always assumed what we feel. I’m sure it’s the same amount of joy you felt when dad died. So what if you just fucked off and went back to pretending we don’t exist again.

#[ sophia. ]

subivanov:

Starting to think that maybe a claiming ceremony wasn’t the best of ideas. I had no idea the planning would be giving me so many headaches. Whatever happened to a quick collaring, anyway? I want my free time back.

You know you can hire someone for that if you don’t want to deal with the boring stuff. Make sure you curate the playlist though. Blame the seating charts on someone else.

#[ elena. ]

nataliakaufman:

I agree with you– Just prefacing. I’m not saying to reject the entirety of it, either, just that your family is known for being very, almost extremely conservative. Going against, at least a minute amount, would help you get out from under the shadow of your late mother, correct? And your.. older sister?

I know what my family is known for. And this isn’t some rebellious edge to stick it to my family. I am capable of forming my own opinions and thoughts.

#[ natalia. ]

nataliakaufman:

I don’t disagree with any of that– But I suppose I’d say I lean more moderate than anything. I just mean, if you want to get out of someone’s thumb legally or societally, that means fighting against the system that puts you there. Or at least putting pressure on it.

The system we have isn’t infallible, and there are ways to do bad things even within it. But it’s better than some of these other alternatives. Can’t have everything you want, right? I don’t see why that means I have to reject an entire system for it.

#[ natalia. ]

BOLD WHAT APPLIES: EMILY BARTON

Romantic preference:

Sexual preference:

I am: monogamous | polyamorous

I am a: top | bottom | verse

I am: dominant | submissive | switch

Kinks.

Bold what you like + Italicize favorites. Strike-through hard limits.

69. Age play. Anal play. Anal sex. Barebacking. BDSM. Begging. Biting. Blood play. Bondage. Breath play. Breeding. Bukkake. Chastity devices. Choking. Clothed sex. Clamps. Cockrings. Collars. Cross dressing. Crying. Daddy/Mommy kink. DDLG. Diapers. Dirty talk. Dominating. Double penetration. Dubcon. Edging. Electroplay. Enemas. Exhibitionism. Facial. Felching. Film/photography. Fingering. Fisting. Food play. Foot sex. Frottage. Gags. Gun play. Hair pulling. Handcuffs. Handjob. Humiliation. Immobilization. Impact play. Incest play. Infantilism. Intercrural/Intergluteal. Kissing. Knife play. Lactation. Leather/latex. Marking/Bruising. Medical play. Mirror sex. Multiple orgasms. Mutual masturbation. Needle play. Nipple play. Consensual non-con. Oral sex. Orgasm control/denial. Orgies. Overstimulation. Pain play. Pegging. Pet play. Phone sex. Plugs. Power play. Praise. Predator/prey. Public sex. Punishments. Riding. Rimming. Roleplay. Rough sex. Scat. Scratching. Sensory deprivation. Sexting. Shaving. Shibari. Shower sex. Slutshaming. Somnophilia. Sounding. Spanking. Submitting. Teasing. Temperature play. Threesomes. Tickling. Toys. TPE. Vanilla. Vomit. Voyeurism. Watersports. Whipping. Worship.

#[ about. ]#[ desires. ]

nataliakaufman:

I thought you were a traditionalist.

I am. I like submitting and I like the order that Traditional thinking provides. I believe that all Dominants are deserving at least of basic respect. But I also believe that submissives are capable of owning their own businesses and making their own financial decisions. That doesn’t make me liberal, just practical.

#[ natalia. ]

nataliakaufman:

Parental issues, forcing you to do something you don’t want to do, facing consequences if you don’t obey? Yeah. I do. That last part’s just a guess, but it’s a pattern enough for me to make an educated one.

Except you have rights if you want to fight back. Legal rights. Your parents couldn’t keep you from living your life if you really wanted to. Sorry they’re shit though.

#[ natalia. ]

nataliakaufman:

Not in my case, no. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Curriculums don’t change overnight. Ah. I get it.

I guess I just don’t understand it. But no, they don’t. Especially not here. I’m pretty sure you don’t really, but thanks.

#[ natalia. ]

katherine-barton:

You good, sis? I can always come bother you if you need to get outta your head.

No. But what else is new? I’m fine, just tired. Did you find your hooligans?

#[ kat. ]

nataliakaufman:

A waste to some, but not to all. I know I could benefit from learning about submission, even if I never use it personally. It would help me treat my future submissive better. Is that a hint of bitterness I hear? Towards the school or.. the rumblings I hear of an ex?

But isn’t that learning about Dominance at the end of the day? You’re not learning submission from the perspective of a sub, but about how it makes you a better Dominant. Oh, it’s more than a hint. Towards my mother. No one else.

#[ natalia. ]

madamebarton:

Don’t be so dramatic, Emily. You forget I was an spectator in your feud with Mother for your entire life. I have a perspective you don’t, so perhaps you should consider listening to a position that isn’t blinded by personal bias. All she ever wanted to do was to make you better. Is this not what a great mother does? Or would you rather she was complicit with your faults and your failures and simply did not care about who you could be as a person? You’re only anger because you did not have it easy. Well, surprise, Emily, life isn’t easy for any of us. Deal with it.

You don’t have a different perspective. You just have mother’s. You haven’t had a single original thought in your life that mother didn’t force down your throat. I can’t believe I thought- Whatever, Sophia. Nothing I say is going to make a difference.

#[ sophia. ]

katherine-barton:

Only if ya want. Hooliganing is the best way to feel better, though, you know that.

I don’t really want that. I’m too tired for hooliganing anymore. But I’ll come sit in the corner and be a buzzkill.

#[ kat. ]

nataliakaufman:

Teaching about both would only help things in the long run, if we’re going to be honest. No, I’m fine not dating. I’d rather focus on schoolwork.

People would call it a waste of resources. Why teach people what may never apply to them? Probably for the best. Otherwise, you’ll be like me, 26 and still hanging around this place like a ghoul.

#[ natalia. ]

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