active mar 23// tw ed

19★they/he/she★vent blog

[emaciatedmilf]

my stats:

height: 165cm/5'5

sw: 70kg

hw: 75kg

cw: 74.2kg :'(

lw: 60.2kg

gw: 65kg, 60kg, 55kg, 50kg

ugw: 45kg

[emaciatedmilf]

we broke up

[emaciatedmilf]

13hr fast completed. i rlly came back to this shit with a vengeance. my tummy hurts from eating now though :(

[emaciatedmilf]

pain. agony. suffering, even

fuck recovery and everything it did to me. its time to get to fucking work. this is embarrassing

AHHHHHHH

[emaciatedmilf]

i wish this shit was like a game so that whenever i relapse i could just load my lowest weight and continue. now im stuck here being at my hw 🤩

[emaciatedmilf]

i am a horrible person. bf just told me he went to the gym today and brain made it an internal competition. brain told me to work twice as hard and be half the size of him. he isn't even trying to lose weight!!!! hes bulking!!!!!! im stupid and an idiot and a stupid idiot

[emaciatedmilf]

i dont wanna be pretty skinny

i want to be so thin everyone can see how sick i am. i want to be "too thin". i want to be emaciated

[emaciatedmilf]

IM BACK BABY

and not just for a couple days like my other shitty little relapses either. im back for good

[emaciatedmilf]

FUCK YOU RECOVERY

i miss the way my hands were all boney. i miss the way my collarbones and ribs stuck out. i miss the way i felt comfort by wrapping my hands around my wrists. i miss the control

[emaciatedmilf]

he left me. my job became unreliable. i started drinking and sleeping around to cope. now that that isnt working we are back to ol reliable, ED's and s/h. ive lost everything so why not lose the weight too

i cant do this shit anymore

[emaciatedmilf]

does anyone have any tips xx

ive relapsed before but i recover v quickly and its almost like a fleeting thought. i dont want to recover this time. i want to b sick again. this is all i have rn and i dont wanna lose it too

[emaciatedmilf]

i think my ed saved my life??

was literally inches away from offing myself but the skinny motivated me to not...

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

[emaciatedmilf]

my meds are staring at me and telling me to make a lexapro cocktail...slay i guess

[emaciatedmilf]

guess whos back

and wants to die

[emaciatedmilf]

i believe in frozen berry supremacy

[emaciatedmilf]

i feel like the world is suffocating me. i havent felt this low in a while. i just want everything to stop. my thoughts are scaring me

[emaciatedmilf]

i feel horrible. my boyfriend made me delete tumblr but im back here anyways. this is my safe place. i feel like i wanna curl in a ball in the corner of my room and slowly rot away