Say "fuck this" to speak to a representative

[emergencypocketbird]

"Have you ever been, kinda poor?"

Have you ever had sleep for dinner?

[emergencypocketbird]

Aight I just gotta say the worst part about jobs is that you can't get your nazi coworker fired because you "don't like them"

[emergencypocketbird]

I'm wearing my collar like a good girl :3

[emergencypocketbird]

vocal stimms I have when nobody is around

Cuntamusprime (sometimes will put 9000 at the end)

Smell my titties smell em (in a wiggly voice)

AaaaaaaaAAAaaaAAAAAAAuuuhhhhhaaaaaaa

*groan tube*

Slurp it up!

Weaweaweaweaweawooooo

[emergencypocketbird]

What if there was a gun that when you pointed it at someone and pulled the trigger it made there clit explode?

Just to be clear penis counts as clit in this scenario

@puppyreya

[emergencypocketbird]

I knew haveing an outside job would make me drink more water but like holy butt fuck my queer homie I didn't think gallons of water power aid and coffee holy cunt

[emergencypocketbird]

I now declare that stingrays be known as pancake fish

[emergencypocketbird]

Me, leader of the big booty bitches club chillin at in and out with the gang

[emergencypocketbird]

I'll be ok, I'm gunna stay strong like I always have

[emergencypocketbird]

Fuck dude I NEED a chocolate shake

[emergencypocketbird]

They call me the meat department cus I got plenty of sausage

[emergencypocketbird]

This is your sign to go out and eat a borgor cus everyone just needs a greasy burger sometimes

[emergencypocketbird]

Hear me out, hanging out with friends by going to see a movie together is not hanging out

To me it feels like I watched something and they happend to be sat near me, I didn't talk to them or interact, I don't get how seeing a movie with friends can be seen as hanging out if you spent 90% or more of the time not interacting

[emergencypocketbird]

I needed to get new handle grips for my bike and decided to buy pink ones with tassles

I'm an anarchist to the fun police, life is too short to not be whimsical

[emergencypocketbird]

Just to be clear before I say this my mother is a great person and a great mom, she's one of my favorite people

She's picking up some meds for me today because I gotta do other things and don't have time to go to the pharmacy. And she texted me "Dob?"

??? You don't know my birthday? Bitch YOU MADE IT HAPPEN

[emergencypocketbird]

Someone please stop me from eating all the little trees air freshners at the car wash they taste spicy

[emergencypocketbird]

Anyone else have "one of those nights" that's an indescribable vibe of depression and reality feeling still in the beauty of the night just thinking of the situation that is best described as "one of those nights"