****Javier is having a bad week and he's fed up with everyone's shit. Including yours.
It's up to you to cheer him up. If you can. Swearing, heavy drinking. Mention of death, too.
...........................
Javier Pena was through. He was pissed off at the entire world, including you.
You knew he'd had a rough week. The department had lost some people. That was always tough. It hurt like hell to have someone alive one day and the next.... well. You know.
You wanted to help Javi feel better, but you weren't sure what you should do. Every time you approached him, he just scowled and flipped you off
Steve told you not to take it personal. You didn't. Besides, you knew that poor Steve took the brunt of Javier's wrath whenever he was in a pissy mood.
Steve learned to deal with it. He knew that Javier wasn't really pissed off at him personally. He was just sick of all this shit that Pablo Escobar was doing and because of all the people they'd lost on account of Escobar.
You stand in the doorway of Steve and Javier's office, watching Javi angrily type up another report. Poor Javi. Your heart ached for him.
You knew better than anyone else that it cut Javier deep inside every time he lost another person. Except, how he dealt with it probably wasn't the healthiest way.
Drinking until he was so damn drunk, he couldn't even walk straight and usually ended up falling down and hurting himself.
Smoking packs and packs of shitty cigarettes, screwing as many, ahem, ladies of the night he could find, just because he wanted to dull the damn pain.
Cussing everyone out who dared had enough balls to ask him how he was doing. (Including you.)
But all that was nothing but a damn coverup, so Javi wouldn't have to feel the actual pain buried deep inside him.
Once, he'd actually opened up to you and you'd held his convulsing body as he sobbed against you. Then after it was over, he threatened to kill you if ever told anyone about that.
Javi finally glances in your direction, flipping you off, but you just walk over to his desk. He promptly ignores you.
"Javi." You say his name low and soft, seeing if it'll soothe him any. It must because he slows his typing just a little and glances at you.
Your eyes lock and you can see his red rimmed eyes. Except, you're not sure if it's from that damn bottle of shitty whiskey that sits on the edge of his desk or if he's been.... crying.
"I'll be ready to go in a minute, chica." Javier's voice is gruff and you know he's got to be hurting inside.
Steve looks up at you and gives you a smile. You know he's trying to make you feel better and you appreciate it.
"I'll just get my shit together and be ready to go whenever you are, Javi."
You turn, walking out of the office, and you can feel the tears starting at the back of your throat already.
The first thing Javi does when you two arrived home, is head straight for the kitchen to find two more damn bottles of whiskey and some some more damn cigarettes.
You know he's pissed off and hurt and sad. That's no reason to just drown yourself in temporary substances. Especially frickin alcohol.
"Javi, baby," you say, keeping your voice low and controlled. "Come sit with me."
He ignores you and even though you know it's not personal, it hurts like hell. You walk over to him and grab his hand, forcing him to drop the cigarettes on the coffee table.
Javier scowls, yanking his hand away. You just grab it again and place it on your chest. His body goes still and his gaze meets yours.
You can see the tears coming and you release his hand and move, wrapping your arms around him as he buries his face against the side of your neck.
You don't say a word. You just stand there, holding him until he stops sobbing. When he does, you gently take his hand and lead him to the couch and sit down.
You reach over for the bottle of whiskey and open it, taking a long swig before handing the bottle to Javier.
He silently accepts it and takes a long drink. You want to watch him, but you're not going to.
"Would you like me to make you something to eat?"
Javi gives the briefest nod and you head for the kitchen. Actually, you'd made some enchiladas earlier and just need to warm them up in the microwave for a few minutes. And there's cake, too.
You hurry, not wanting to make Javier wait too long. Well. More like be alone too long.
You bring the food out and set the plates down in front of Javi with a fork. He grunts at you, but at least he's not telling you where to go.
You take a seat next to him, your legs touching. You can feel that Javier's trembling, but you decide not to make an issue out of it.
You want desperately to just hold him until his pain is gone, but that'd be a long damn time for that. Neither of you speak, but at least Javier's eating and that's definitely a good sign.
"Thanks, mi amor. I needed that." You automatically reach out to lightly brush your fingers over his mustache and it sends tingles down your body.
"I know I've been a real asshole lately."
"I'm not blaming you for anything, Javi. You have no control over any of this shit."
Javi nods and reaches for a box of cigarettes and a book of matches. You've watched Javi do this a hundred times before. He sticks a cigarette in his mouth, strikes a match and lights his cigarette, inhaling and then exhaling.
A puff of cigarette smoke blows out and all around Javi's head and face. His features are blurred for a few seconds as the smoke slowly clears.
"Sometime, all this...shit," Javier motions around. "Really starts to wear on a person. We've been after this son of a bitch, for geez, months! I mean, when the hell are we gonna get the shit?"
You put your arms around him and hug him gently. Javi leans against you and you slip an arm around his middle.
"I don't have any answers, Javi. I wish you could just get the bastard. He's ruined so many people's lives." Your voice catches and in a moment, you're the one sobbing as Javier holds you.
"It sucks, doesn't it, chica?" Javier kisses the side of your head and you nod, reaching for some napkins.
"It's just so... wrong. Doesn't he even give a shit?" Javi takes a long drag on his already third cigarette.
"Why the hell should he?" Javier snaps. "All he cares about is himself and all that blood money he's racking up."
You sigh, leaning back against Javier and you two cling to each other.
"That was some good enchiladas and cake, mi amor. Thanks." You smile and gently kiss him.
Javi gives you a small smile and it makes you feel somewhat better.
"You and Steve are gonna catch Escobar," you whisper against Javier. "He'll wish he never heard of either of you."
Javier chuckles, tugging you closer.
"That's absolutely what's going to happen to that sick son of a bitch."
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