#old friends

[vic--mackey]

[fallenwizard420]

an old friend used to love my poems.

what she didn’t know was that I was learning how to hide her inside them.

today I saw a game on Steam and thought of her. years disappeared in that stupid, immediate way they sometimes do. I bought it for her before I could make the feeling smaller.

maybe that is all a poem has ever been:

a gift sent years too late,

pretending it is only a gift.

[krismas15]

i miss my old tumblr friend group so bad

i mean i still do have some of them !!

@pinkgoatgirl @marbled-pulse @halogen-awawawa i forgot jevils new @ im sorry @ajolteonnamedsparky

can any of y’all possibly get berdly on the horn for me i think he blocked me because i was anti endo and im endo neutral now i miss him

[empireineclipse]

Random thought: So I had this guy bff in 1st grade I haven’t seen him in years except once when I went to one of my friends birthday and I swear one of her friends looked exactly like him. Like same blond hair, same brown eyes and the same black glasses. And yk what? His name was the SAME. We talked the entire time and played football together. I felt at peace with him. I really miss him so much and I’d like to see him again :/

[p03laroid]

dedicated to those now far away or lost to time

do you remember the last time we played minecraft together?

our last phone call?

our last text exchange?

our last meal shared together?

if im being honest, sometimes i dont.

i worry thatd make you think i didnt value our time.

but its really quite the opposite.

…

i wonder sometimes, if you still think about me, wherever you are now?

separated by continents, time zones… maybe a universe or a lifetime.

but i still think about you.

how could i not?

you made me who i was, you continue to make me who i am today

… even without you present

…

it's hard, you know

having to move past you

move past all that was us

i still hear your laugh in mine

i still think of you when i see a funny post

or an animal

or a flower

or a sunset

or -

well. you get the point

im making a life here

as hard as that is

im trying to make new friends

and im trying to accept i cant see you again

and i may never

and… and maybe thats okay

because you still exist

the impact you left on me,

the memories we made,

the laughs we shared …

maybe its okay that our time was limited

…

i still struggle, though

every day i wish i could see you again

hear your laugh

play one more game

share one last meal

but,

even if i knew itd be the last time i saw you

it wouldnt be enough

even if we crammed a lifetime into 24 hours or less …

it would never be enough

… because im still here, and youre not

youre somewhere i can never reach

maybe you arent around anymore at all

and maybe thats what kills me

would i feel better if i knew where you were?

if i knew you were thinking of me?

if i knew you were happy, wherever you might be?

…

i still send out messages, sometimes

on random boards and games that allow you to leave a note

scribbled sharpie graffiti on bridges and benches

naming places, npcs, and animals in games after you

ive immortalized your memory in more ways than i can count

...

its hard to accept that,

for no fault of our own,

were split apart

…

i know i have to move on

i know you would want me to move on

i know you wouldnt want me mourning you like this

and i promise,

i promise im trying

…

i miss you

i still think about you

i still tell people about you,

about how you were,

about how you changed me,

…

i hope,

in some way,

this message finds you

maybe youll find this post,

or youll think of me,

out of the blue,

or youll see a flower that you knew was my favorite,

whatever the case

…

sometimes i wish i could go back

but,

over time,

ive built a life for myself here

ive made new friends

ive made new memories

ive shared more laughs

shared more meals

and sometimes i feel like that dishonors your memory

but,

im trying

and if not for me

for you

…

wherever you are,

be it here,

on this earth,

thousands of miles away

or in another plane

or another universe

or returned to mere atoms

…

take care of yourself

...

i miss you

[boggyjello]

i feel like i replaced you

its weird, if I had started here instead of chess maybe it’d be you I’d have grown up with, learning about the world through the lens of an older sister figure. Although you have a sister of your own; I heard you live together now, I hope things are well <3 As I grow in responsibilities and at the gym in general, I can’t help but think of you. I hope you are fulfilled in the life you have chosen, I hope good things come your way and I hope to see you again, there’s so much I’d love to say and ask. How did you do this?? It’s scary navigating this path. I’m doing what you said you wish you had done at my age, I push myself to train and interact with people more. I’m a blue belt now, same belt you were when I first met you. I will admit it’s easier to grow stronger bonds with the kids with you gone. I know you needed the change though. I understand that feeling more and more as I get older. I hope to be better than you were at my age but I also strongly hope you are healing and growing. I hope to grow into this position and become a part of this wonderful community like you were. [you are always welcome back,]

[blood-kiriwo]

accept my friendship you jerk >:^

I try so hard to give you stuff when you upset and you just don't use it???

— Mr. Hat 🎩

[He looks at the note in mild confusion. Was that what was happening? He thought they were just being somewhat cryptic. Although looking back, it does sort of align with what they had told them about getting friends.]

[It was starting to make some sense about their behavior a little. He wasn't opposed to the idea, but he wasn't really comfortable with getting that close to another.]

(He had already let those five in far too closely, and they refused to leave his mind and heart. It scares him how much he actually cares about them all. It scares him how far he has already gone for them.)

[He won't stop the advances... He was quite curious how exactly they would go about it.]

(Would they just walk in one day and remind him he can live? That he doesn't have to stay? Would they offer their home to him to hide away from his family's hateful stares?)

(Would they step in front of him and pull away all of the hateful looks and block them with a flick of a fan?)

(Would they offer to pay for everything and laugh it off when he requests something, saying he needs to be greedier?)

(Would they care for him even after he tried to hurt them? Even after everything he's done to them, would they still smile at him?)

(Would they stay and care for them in a way so few adults have even bothered to do?)

[He wonders what they will do.]