made a cake at work for someones birthday and my friend came back from the club with chocolate cake and turned out to be the same one that i made
later im going to go hang out with someone who actually matches my dry sense of humor so when we hang out its kind of scary but i enjoy it. sometimes though it feels like i am just interacting with myself in some kind of weird reality. i like it...the narcissist in me likes it. i wonder what it would be like to fight with him...actually not that bad, we’d both just be crying and not communicating (if it really was a replicant of myself). i dont like fighting i just end up wanting to die in a little ball...i have become really good at admitting my wrongs, but i dont think ive ever been stubborn about being wrong. if someone says i am wrong im like okay im wrong thats fine... sorry you feel that way, sorry i hurt you. i guess im an apologist. all the events in my life formed when i was first a child now have made me an apologist. someone needs to apologize i suppose. thats why my last relationship didnt work out. because i always had to take the blame because he could never take responsibility for his actions.
not that i blame myself for a lot of the shit that went down...i think i was actually pretty right for most of it.....
this cake i made at work is really really good. i think i am going to start a new job as a baker there. im too slow to work on the line but thats okay i know i am a broken robot....actually broken AI robot. I think too much and work too little. I think thats okay..working a lot does help limit my cyclic thinking which can be a relief most of the time. I go into robot mode. But then back to AI.
2087
romaincrisis
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