A Step To Forgetting

[emotionallifediary]

I’m trying so hard to be the perfect partner

I’m trying to learn your love languages

I’m trying to listen

But still you grunt and push me away

“You don’t listen”

“You don’t love me”

“You’re not trying to learn what I like”

“I always have to make plans and initiate everything”

“You hate me”

“I guess I’ll just have to accept that you’ll never do this, which is fine I guess”

I just want to be enough

Why am I not enough

[emotionallifediary]

I bought you a 3D printer and the first thing you did was make her a jewelry box

[emotionallifediary]

2am and I’m alone

Another night you fell asleep at her house

I want my love back

[emotionallifediary]

I don’t know what to feel

Everything’s on autopilot

I feel like I’ve lost my personality

I don’t know how to talk to people anymore

I just want to be held

I want the weight off my plate

I want to have the answers and be emotionally available

Im so tired

I love what I do but at the same time I’m tired of working so much

I don’t know where I stand with anyone

I have no desire to open up or see 99% of people

Chores and work are on my mind 24/7

Im never doing enough

But then I need to be a better girlfriend

I’m not showing up enough

We don’t go out because of me

There’s so much I want to do. I want to physically and mentally be there in so many ways

I feel like a robot

My memory is getting so bad

And everything’s numb

[emotionallifediary]

I don’t feel attractive. I don’t feel sexy. I don’t feel smart. I don’t feel confident. I just want to have energy again

[emotionallifediary]

Why don’t I feel anything

[emotionallifediary]

[emotionallifediary]

I don’t want to be toxic

[emotionallifediary]

Why don’t I do fun things anymore

Why can’t I make plans

Why can’t I remember things

Why can’t I initiate things

[dirty]

I’ll choose her thunder over anyone else’s sunshine.

[karanlikduygular]

[rand-writings-deactivated202602]

"Always remember, you and I against the problem, not against each other."

[emotionallifediary]

“It’s almost like we’ve been together for 3 years and whenever I get like this I act like an asshole but you don’t recognize the patterns and don’t remember that. You don’t care about me”

“I was just feeling better and yeah maybe I was a little bit of an asshole playfully but when you said “why are you being mean” that really set me back to being depressed”

[craved-deactivated20230908]

[emotionallifediary]

What happened to the start

[neckkiss]

[pastelotus]