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Janaina Medeiros
Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day
Not today Justin
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Product Placement
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Love Begins
Fai_Ryy
taylor price
macklin celebrini has autism
🪼
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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ellievsbear
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art blog(derogatory)
if i look back, i am lost
seen from Jordan
seen from Russia
seen from Uzbekistan
seen from United States
seen from Nicaragua
seen from Malaysia
seen from Brunei
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Tunisia
seen from Malaysia
@emotions-ew
I’ll never understand why people say you get more conservative as you get older. I was a fully fledged Liberal voter as a child, because I was surrounded by the voices of conservatives and I didn’t know enough to know better and to have thoughts and ideas of my own. The older I get the more I learn and I am able to be more independent I am getting more left wing every day
I’m so sorry but men will literally never understand what it is to have a friend who is dating the most toxic filthy ugly disgusting old man and no matter how many times you explain in the kindest ways possible that he is bad bad vibes she will not leave him until she sees it for herself in her own time in her own way and its the most fucking frustrating enraging experience of your entire life
i literally worked as a receptionist for a year and i still have no idea what most people do during a 9-5. personally i was answering phones, being the office bitch and generally running around doing random tasks for anyone who asked but the bitches with offices? i don’t know what they were up to
why the fuck would it matter? either he’s bad at his job or he’s abusive, either way the result is the same and he should have been fired immediately.
TL asleep?
Tori Amos is like American Kate Bush
i have neglected alanis morissette for too long now i see her genius
you know, there really is something so uniquely devastating about being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. In twenty minutes a psychiatrist managed to see in me what everyone I’ve ever known hasn’t seen in 22 years. Or maybe, and worse that that, he saw in me something that plenty of adults in my life probably did see, and chose not to address.
anyways for the first time in potentially years i tried really fucking hard on an assignment. ten+ hours of research, formatted again and again to get it ‘perfect’, showed it to multiple friends and my sister for proofreading. and i failed. i got a 58%, so not technically a ‘fail’ but one of the worst marks i’ve ever gotten. and i fucking tried.
this is why i never did this shit. nobody fucking prepares you for how much it hurts to fail when you actually tried. I was really passionate and i thought I’d done really fucking well, and I thought I could handle failure pretty well but this one hits a little too hard for me to know what to do with
anyways, starting to think the relationship I had with a 25 year old when I was 18 that was conducted in almost complete secrecy and ended abruptly because a higher power intervened has left a teensy bit of lasting damage
Not to make a mountain out of a molehill but I am so sick and tired of Christianity dictating public holidays. Easter should not be a public holiday. It is, at it’s core, a religious holiday, and if I have nothing to do with that religion then this holiday has no right to affect my life at all, and yet it does. It’s a stupid thing to be mad at but like, fuck it, I’m mad.
I work at a bottle shop. I had 14 hours this week, which is enough and it’ll pay the bills. Friday is good Friday so I lost my regular friday shift, meaning I have eight hours this week. not exactly idea. and yes, sunday is public holiday pay, which means i’m making more than i usually do, but th idea that a religious holiday can force our liquor store to close is, to me, a cause for concern. And another thing, double demerits. Higher penalties for traffic offences occur on all public holidays, but in this articular case we are being penalised at a higher than usual rate because Jesus Died? Why the fuck should I care if Jesus died, and why the fuck should it mean i get twice the fine? Someone actually give me one single valid reason why easter should be a public holiday
Kylie Minogue slayed with ‘Golden’. That album is my favourite country album of all time, I will NOT be taking criticism
Exercising consistency is really hard. I was talking to a friend recently and mentioned that the night before I’d gone to the gym, and she started asking me all these questions about my gym routine. Like how often I go, what do I do there, that kind of thing. I had to explain that I literally just go when I remember to, or when I get the urge to, and I do what I can.
The best thing I ever did for myself was to lower my expectations. The second you stop demanding of yourself more than you know you’re capable of, the second you start to love yourself exactly where you’re at. Why would I expect myself to do a 5k on the rowing machine and then get mad and disappointed when I can only do 1.5? All that does is make me push myself further than I can take it and still fall short. Instead I expect myself to do 2k in 500m increments, with breaks in between. It’s not as fast, it’s not as intense, but I get to walk away from that having accomplishes the goal I set. I don’t expect myself to bench 80kg. I haven’t benched anything at all since I was 18 years old, all I would do if i tried that is hurt myself. I expect myself to do 10 reps of 20kg, 4 times. And I let myself take as long as I need to to complete them, even if that means pausing for for a break between every single rep because I decide what good looks like.
I’m not saying never push yourself. Push yourself. But push yourself kindly, with compassion and not with self-hatred and not with anger. Push yourself with pride. Yesterday I did three separate leg workouts and today my legs aren’t so sore that I can’t walk like they have been in the past. That’s progress, that’s kindness to myself that I have not shown enough of before. Push yourself within the limits that only you can know you have.
one of the worst moments of my adulthood so far was realising that my best days are somebody else’s bare minimum. and i know that we aren’t supposed to compare ourselves to other people, everyone’s on their own journey or whatver the fuck. but im comparing because it makes me mad, and sad and fucking jealous.
how is it fair that i have to fight my own brain and body tooth and nail to have a ‘good day’. a day where i get up early and i eat breakfast, a real brekfast, and then i do all of my uni work on time and i eat lunch and dinner and i don’t eat out i cook for myself and when i’m done i even do the dishes. a good day. and someone else gets up and gets to do that every day without a fight. their brain isn’t wired to dive bomb their productiveness and distract them from every piece of motivation and when they write a to do list they don’t get so exhausted by the process of focussing on writing the list that they can’t possibly actually do the things on the lit. how is is fair that my best days are just somebody else’s every day. that i have to struggle and crawl and scratch my way to the bare minimum requirements of functional adutlhood but it seems like every one else just gets to do it.
Anyways i turned 21 yesterday and i didn’t cry on my birthday.
Growing up is the scariest thing you have to do, but for the first time in a really long time i had a good day with my family. we went bowling, which is something we used to do a lot when we were all younger but stopped doing when we all hit highschool and had other things going on. my mum was really good at it and after the first game i kind of sucked but it didnt matter. we went out to dinner and i bought champagne and actually enjoyed drinking it even though i think wine is kind of gross. i bought beers for my dad and didnt even entertain the idea of him paying me back and i could tell that made him proud. my parents bought me knives for my kitchen and practical gifts always used to feel depressing but it was the nicest thing i could imagine receiving. my mum bought me some random movie posters because she remembered me vaugely mentioning a while ago that i wanted some to decorate my place with. no one argued at all and my dad didn’t give me one single lecture.
it’s not the 21′st birthday party that i imaginged for myself when i was 13 and the thought of being grown up still made me giddy. but it was perfect.
i don’t need a big rowdy party with strangers and barely-friends to remind me that another year has passed. i’m good where i am.
I have this problem where i don’t like to hug people when I’m still in the early phases of friendship, so by the time I’m actually comfortable enough with a person to seek out physical contact they are under the impression that i hate physical contact and (because they’re great) totally respect that boundary and no longer make any attempt to initiate physical contact but then it’s on me to initiate all physical contact and i don’t know how to re-negotiate that friendship boundary so i just don’t and then i become that friend who ‘doesn’t like hugs’ but really i just don’t like hugging strangers and actually i don’t mind hugs at all.
Late Bloomer
“You don’t deserve what you don’t respect”
Lucy Dacus, ‘Night Shift’
