♡

i'm rotting

[eatthattoast]

If animals don’t exist in the pokemon world, wouldn’t pokemon just be animals? Are there insects smaller than bug type pokemon? Are they bugs or wouldn’t they just be pokemon???  

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[cascadiarch]

[k-eke]

Duck with afro

[feistiest]

me: lmao who needs a partner i’m alone but i’m not lonely bitch, i live fine by my fucking self bitch! play that hailee steinfeld song!

me after watching a one (1) good rom-com:

[leyorio-deactivated20170725]

hey guys just passing through

[hungwy]

Ssshh.

No one talk.

In thinking about “whip cream”.

[specialagentdustyponcho-deactiv]

ok i will stay quiet for you

[hungwy]

[snorlaxatives]

just had the strangest encounter at the cvs photo counter…. i was like “hi i had some photos printed through your website” and the employee just said “so?”

[homiedepot]

“Hi I had some photos printed through your website”

CVS employee:

[its-teatime]

You are in a café with me, what tea do you order?

1. Rosehip tea: Which book did you love when you were younger? 2. Oolong tea: Which book series could you read again? 3. Rooibos: What is one of you favourite books? 4. Strawberry tea: Tell me about your first kiss, if you had one. 5. Apple tea: Tell me about your first break up, if you had one. 6. Earl Grey: Which countries have you visited? 7. Chai: Where do you want to travel next? 8. Darjeeling: What languages do you speak? 9. Hop tea: Do you have a favourite tea? Which one? 10. Herbal tea: Which person would you chose to travel the world with? 11. Nettle tea: Are you jealous on a person? Why? 12. Ice tea: Do you miss somebody? Why? 13. Yellow tea: What shampoo do you use? 14. Peppermint tea: What is your favourite gif at the moment? 15. Ceylon tea: Do you have a song you like, but have bad memories with? 16. Hibiscus tea: What is a song you can always hear? 17. Flowering tea: What is a movie you can always watch? 18. Pu-erh tea: What is a book you can recommend to others? 19. Turkish tea: What is your favourite cake? 20. Green tea: What was the first movie you saw in a cinema? 21. Blueberry-Muffin tea: Tell me a memory, which makes you smile. 22. Panda tea: Do you have pets? Which one? 23. Butter tea: Show / Tell me about one thing i your room you find awesome. 24. Hot chocolate: Do you have (a) stuffed animal(s) sitting in your room? Which one(s)? 25. 24 flavors: What is your favourite word? 26. Jasmin tea: Can you draw / paint? Wanna show me something? 27. Kombucha: What do you order on a pizza? 28. Cloud tea: Which movie do you want to watch next? 29. Gunpowder tea: If you had the chance: would you go to space? 30. Matcha: Bonus question of you choice! I might answer…

[mapcus-deactivated20180524]

Me talking to myself in the morning: okay bitch, get the fuck up

[anarchetypalarchive]

so i’m riding the elevator up to my apartment when the emergency phone in the elevator starts ringing 

and i just stand there for a second because this thing is like thirty years old and has never rung or even been used from what i know

but eventually i answer it thinking maybe something’s wrong with the elevator?? it’s an emergency phone it’s probably an emergency??? i dunno

except i shit you not it’s a telemarketer 

a telemarketer that’s as confused as i am when i finally interrupt him mid-spiel to inform him he has the wrong number and then interrupt him again to explain further that “uh, no, seriously, this is an elevator phone. i’m standing in an elevator. talking to you. on the emergency phone. i really think you got the wrong number”

“oh,” says telemarketer guy.

“yeah,” i say.

there’s some mutually-confused silence.

“so, this is my stop,” i say. “i gotta go.”

“oh,” says telemarketer guy.

“good luck,” i add, because telemarketer guy seems like he’s having an existential crisis. and then i hang up on him, because he’s having an existential crisis and won’t actually end the call, and because again i’m talking on an elevator emergency phone and, you know, this is my stop, i gotta go.

[queergh0st]

how come you can name your kid Lily or Rose and that’s totally acceptable but you trying calling em Baby’s Breath and everyone flips

[tramampoline]

[askmegame]

See what ones you get

💗 - I want to be your friend!

💓 - You’re a close friend of mine!

💝  - You’re a gift!

💕  - I have a crush on you!

💖 - Im in love with you!

💔  - Delete!

[danger]

[asvy]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BKaP3CLjlHA/

[darthjordyn]

when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges it’s ‘intelligent’ and ‘really cool’ but when i do it i’m ‘petty’ and ‘need to move on?’ what kind of double standard honestly…..

[captianstydia]

[unicornmrv-deactivated20190908]