The 4th Espada

You are Ulquiorra Cifer; The epitome of emptiness. The time of Aizen's ruling has come and gone, and by all logical thought, you should be dead, faded away into bleak nothingness from whence you originated. But, as is obviously seen, you are not. Current State: Normal. For information and credit for icons, click on the final banner below. (One on the far right) (Independent Ulquiorra RP blog. Set AFTER Aizen's defeat and imprisonment.)

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

When the time came that she needed to return to slumbers embrace, she wouldn’t fight him on it. Perhaps stall just a little bit to extend her time with him, but at this point, she was no longer in denial about her problem. She had an awful sleep schedule, and she needed all the help she could get to fall back into a normal routine.

It would be a little easier now that she had already had the worst of it, and now that he was comforting her, but the girl still held onto the hope that one day, one day soon, she could sleep uninterrupted by terrors of the dream kind.

That was the curse of dying before living a life, it seemed. Childhood habits lingered, and for one that had to grow up much too quickly then was intended, provided comfort and a sense of peace. Yeah, dragons didn’t exist and there was no way in hell she had a fairy god mother, but still, it was fun to pretend! If there was some magical way to make all her problems go away, she would jump on it in a heartbeat.

Well, months had gone by, and she was sitting up in the middle of the night for the third night in a row. It was almost like a blissful bubble had popped and she was now sitting in reality. If she wanted to fix this, she had to make it happen for herself.

"I know, but they never tell you that part. You find it out the hard way." She certainly was, and she was glad she couldn’t remember who told her the dumb saying in the first place. Haunting them wouldn’t solve anything, but it would make her feel a little better.

Silence followed his request for a moment, her wondering just how she would put the subject matter into words. Hopefully hearing it wouldn’t scare her or him.

"Its always dark when they start off, I can never really see where I am or what I’m doing. Sometimes I’m standing in a room filled with smoke and soft candle light, and other times I’m sinking to the bottom of the sea. I always feel like I’m trapped, suffocating or drowning. I can’t do anything to escape no matter how hard I try.

And then the blood starts to appear…”

[emptiness-incarnate]

Stalling an inevitable passing of time wasn't going to demeaned as folly by her, understanding well enough that their time together tended to be erring on the side of short-lived encounters that left both parties wishing for the sun to rise slower, the moon to stay above them longer.

And there was, whether he'd say it was debatable, the lingering sentiment of not wishing to succumb her mind back to the darkness that was festering inside her dreams without a solution set in place.

Younger generation always bore the brunt of idiocy, he'd found. No way of being forced to grow up, instead simply a lost cause of instincts derived purely from the ignorance of a life devoid of serious pain; Memories of what could be considered as such forgotten by a mind too young to remember past the coming year.

She was no different, but the norm had passed over her quickly when it became obvious she was destined for a position of importance and dignity; Still savoring fairy tales like they were reality, rightfully so, mind a warped perception of what someone her age should actually believe.

The polar opposite of him, actually.

"That's because no one wants to hear that part of it, Lorna. No one ever wants to be told that their old ways were wrong, because if you do, they might bury themselves even further into the perceptions that are tainted by ignorance.

If they come by it on their own, they'll be more willing to accept it and integrate the change into their life."

Ideas of speaking her name once more to encourage a beginning to her tale were shortly dismissed as hesitancy displayed itself in a more direct fashion; Words halting themselves in shortened bursts as she tried to fully capture a picture she probably did her best to forget every morning.

As it started out normally, he found himself wondering how bad the nightmares could truly be, fears of being trapped normal enough for the subject of dreams.

But blood wasn't.

"From where, Lorna?" 

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

Meeting him had been one of the best things that could have happened to her. He was a support system she needed, someone she felt she could tell anything too. It was nice, he didn’t judge her based on appearance or height. He didn’t treat her like a kid, but as an equal instead.

She relied on him for so much, she could hardly imagine life without him in it. Forgiveness for his actions at their first meeting had been given long ago.

Advice first, sleep later. As much as she wanted it, she really couldn’t ask him to return here every single night. The risk was just too great, and really, if he were there every morning when she got up, she would never want to leave her bed, instead opting to stay with him and cuddle all day.

But right now, she wanted to focus on the issue at hand. It was easier now that she was more awake and aware of her surroundings, and now that he was there. Every little comforting action went a long way in making her feel better. There was no one else she wanted to discuss this with, just him.

His words earned a rueful smile from her. She knew that better then anyone. There was no magic, no easy way to make everything better. Happy endings weren’t always as happy as they seemed. “I realize that now… Though, someone once told me that bad dreams couldn’t hurt you. I guess they didn’t take sleep deprivation into account when they told me that…”

Her small attempts at a smile fell away as she spoke again. “I just wish I knew what was causing them. I don’t read anything scary and I’m not that stressed out…its just really weird, you know?”

[emptiness-incarnate]

Never could he understood the idea of others basing their assumptions purely on appearance, and this was coming from one that relied so heavily on actual sight to perceive understanding from the jaws of uncertainty. What you saw could relate to all matters that pertained to the individual, not just a physical characteristic that defined a notable trait within a person.

If you saw them clawing to the top, striving for power, that was just the same as a lock of hair or a finger.

Though vehement belief over her need to sleep was still going to persist throughout the time they were together here, a crossroads of time that should be spent allowing her to recuperate fully between days of hard work and exhausting training, he would still allow the chance that perhaps it was best for them to speak before ushering her back into the realm of slumber.

With nightmares plaguing her, would it be right to throw her back to their mercy without at least comforting her a bit?

Not really, especially from one who claimed total care and security for her.

Fairy-tales were her undoing, it seemed. Promoting lawless changes in situations to fit the protagonist, defying human reactions to allow children the security that all would turn out right by the time morning blessed them, it was so idiotic. 

And subconsciously, she'd adhered to the flawed teachings they provided, delving into her childhood and likes to try and bring about an end to the thoughts that gave her nothing but fear.

"Bad dreams can't hurt you physically, Lorna. Other than that, they can surely deteriorate your mind, which would lead to other problems."

 Any lowered ideas of seeing a true smile, misplaced or not, fell away as she succumbed to unhappiness, her question drawing out an uneasy silence from him, conclusions abounding across the board of ability to happen, but nothing actually concrete.

"Maybe if you tell me what they're about I can help piece together where they stem from."

[emptiness-incarnate]

SO. WHAT IF I BUY YOU A DUSTPAN FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY??

"You're behind the ball, trash. I've already been offered a broom and dustpan for my birthday, some time ago."

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

Her own strength and abilities had improved much since meeting him. Not enough to even put a dent in him, though few could actually accomplish such a thing, but enough to better defend herself and keep herself safe. She would have grown and improved naturally as her years within the divisions progressed, but she wouldn’t have had the drive to do so if it weren’t for him.

Their first meeting might have been unpleasant, but it was a huge motivator for her to get stronger, and now he was helping her train whenever he could. She would always be thankful for that.

No argument was given as the blankets were pulled away. They really hadn’t done much to help her feel better, but simple instinct had driven her to wrap up in them anyway. It was something all kids did, blankets were supposed to keep nightmares and monsters away. 

Though in her opinion, his arms did a much better job at making her feel safe then any blanket ever could.

Leaning against his shoulder, just taking the moment to feel comfortable and comforted, she would have let herself doze off right there if the situation hadn’t been so serious. She called him here to get advice about how to fix this problem, not to fall back asleep in his lap.

"I know…" She admitted with a small frown. “I just…thought I could handle it. Or maybe I was hoping they would just go away. Because it just seemed really childish…complaining about bad dreams…”

Though now, they were more like night terrors, plaguing her and keeping her from any sort of peaceful sleep.

[emptiness-incarnate]

It was reason of thankfulness towards his own being around her, one of the few pluses that weren't tainted by opposing cons that balanced out an unseen scale, instead being wholly good for her and her needs. To become stronger was a goal she'd shared with him in passing, an action that took more of the back-burner of her attention, even if the impending conflict demanded her to grow faster than most would deem acceptable, or even possible.

Unfortunate that it was kicked off by earlier transgressions of superiority, effectively kicking her into the dirt and leaving her to die, a fact still haunting him throughout many nights.

Matters such as obligatory reactions to things unseen weren't high enough upon his mind to demean as childish, her resorting to the only means of defense that she understood, that is, child-mandated actions that previously hid away the clouds of negativity that clung closely to her mind like a fog.

Taking it the step further to emulate the touch of a mother, or even a father, that was only a nice addition to what could be done to help ease her worries.

Either way, he would have dispelled the idea that taking an extended nap was wrong, with himself being there allowing her the lowered chance of falling too far into another nightmare.

Even if he wanted to hear her reasons for why she dealt with it so wrongfully.

Ivory and onyx lips pursed together in thought as she assumed the mantle of the solitary traveler, one who thought that all problems of their own could be dealt with without the help of another, problems deemed too small to worry them.

"You can't hope for something like that, Lorna. Rarely do your problems just go away, that's only found in fairy tales." Emerald hues trailed back down to look at her, sigh releasing a minute build-up of tension from his shoulders as he leaned over and instigated a chaste kiss upon her forehead. "It's not childish, especially if they keep you up at night."

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

She knew things had only gotten more complicated for them all. Enemies had appeared everywhere, and now even more caution had to be taken when they went out to meet each other. Being out on her own was more dangerous then ever, and while she couldn’t help it when it came to her job, she could help it when it came to visiting him. Carelessness could lead to injury or worse. 

His strength was something she had faith in. He could keep her safe from Hollows and Quincies. Even Hueco Mundo didn’t scare her as much as it used too, because she had him by her side. She had more confidence in her abilities now that they had grown, but it was still very reassuring to have someone there who could defeat an enemy without so much as batting an eye.

But physical strength could do little to protect her from the terrors that lurked within the dreams she had.

She curled closer to his form, wanting nothing more then to have him hold her and comfort her until the sun peeked over the horizon. But she knew she couldn’t do that anymore, just rely on his presence and voice to comfort her until she fell asleep again. He couldn’t be there with her every night, as much as she wanted him to be.

"I can’t pinpoint a date, but it was very recently that I noticed. Within the last month I think." She said, turning her tired gaze to meet his. “I’ve been having bad dreams for a while now, you know that. But they weren’t often. Like, maybe one or two a month that I could remember. But now, they’re several times a week. I thought it was just stress at first so I didn’t say anything but…they’re not going away.”

[emptiness-incarnate]

Irate mannerisms had quickly begun to erupt past his normally careful facade of bone-bleached skin, eyes falling into a perpetual glare as his time was spent away from her, intimidating all who actually had the gall to seek him out; Numbers so close to zero, and all decidedly hostile, that it mattered not that they saw him break from the norm.

Dead men tell no tales, as it was said.

Before meeting her, before all this, he'd relinquished his strength to a veritable title like that of the former Primera, more a curse than a blessing. It drew others away, singled him out as one of the few that could govern a land ruled only by power, truly holding the hidden crown upon his head.

For what other hollow could boast the powers that he'd acquire?

The power to become something more than their resurreccion?

Eased into the idea that she desired to be held, arms pulled away the blankets that had protected her from earlier discrepancies to allow him chance to pull her completely into his lap, one arm holding her from beneath her legs, the other across her back, reaching fully 'round to keep a hold of her digits as she took solace in his simple being.

"..." Silent retribution was heralded as his stare shifted away from her completely to look out the window, a beacon of moonlight holding close to his cheek as he relented rather choice words that could be said. "...There was always the risk of them coming back in quicker spasms, Lorna. To be blunt, I still believe it would have been best that you talked to me about these nightmares from the start." 

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

She wished she could go to him. Oh, how her heart and soul wished for that to be the case. The idea of him risking his neck every time he visited her set her nerves on edge and plagued her with worry. The time to reveal their relationship had not come, and with everything else going on, she doubted it would ever come. So they resorted to sneaking around, setting aside dates at times that were deemed not suspicious enough for her to be missing from.

Rarely did she request for him to actually come to her, most of their conversations being on the phone or through messages. It relieved some of the ache she had when she was apart from him, it was a small way for her to still stay connected to him. But for something like this, she wanted him there. Even if he had no good advice on how the problem could be fixed, his company was enough of a comfort.

Lips twitched upward with a ghost of a smile at his response, knowing it to be true. The few minutes she had were spent in silence, her peering over at Laon’s little carrier to be sure he was out for the night. It appeared he was, he only stirred a little at the sound of the door, before nuzzling his nose further into his tail and sleeping on. Lucky little furball.

Her smile was genuine when he was beside her, fingers interlocking with his and giving them a gentle squeeze. She no doubt looked exhausted, and she might have been trembling a little, but she was so happy to see him there. His presence was already making it easier to think, and was driving away some of the terror her dream had left in its wake.

"Something that’s been going on for a while…" Her smile fell as she thought back on the past few months. How she had gotten any sleep at all was a wonder even to her. A soft sigh fell past her lips as she leaned against him. “The nightmares are getting really bad… and more frequent.”

[emptiness-incarnate]

Never would he entertain the idea that his needing to travel to her instead of having her come to him was the best course of action; A plan desired for by none of his mind. He was more equipped to pass over to where she was, more able to keep the edge of secrecy held tightly around them like a blanket.

That, and if she had to travel to where he was, the danger towards her being would escalate more than he'd allow.

Hueco Mundo was a place of tumultuous problem, both hollows and Quioncy now staining the sand with their blood.

He'd never allow her there without supervision, not at this point.

Rarity did not lend him the lens of unbound concern, even if ideas of uncertainty were roused from their relative ease by how late she had decided to call to him. Several reasons why could be given, some more obvious than others, but guesses and ideas were not his forte. 

Though her lips had adopted eased mannerisms at being able to receive his presence on the simple thought that she required it, ivory and onyx flanges failed to procure anything short of a placid look of confusion, not at her actions, but at her unspoken quandary. Shaking, even slightly, was renouncing her ease and replacing it with an earlier scare.

Beginnings to her explanation eased shut his flanges as he waited in lowered anxiousness for the cause of all this, and maybe because he knew that it was something they'd spoken of before.

Shifting himself a bit closer to her, an opposing arm of stark-white fell across her shoulders and pulled her fully against him, lips treading downward to hold lightly against her crown, pulling away only to speak. "...How long have you noticed that they've been getting worse?" 

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

Her mother had once said she was just like her father in the sense that he always tended to push things off. For years, she never knew what that really meant. Her dad always got things done on time, and while her record wasn’t exactly perfect, she wasn’t nearly as bad as had been implied. Important things always came first and were always done. 

Only now was the girl finally starting to see just what her mom meant. It wasn’t that she ignored important things, it was that she ignored her own health for the sake of those things.

Laying in her bed, twisted up in her sheets as wide terrified eyes stared at the ceiling above, she knew she couldn’t put this off anymore. The nightmares were only getting worse. Sleep was becoming harder and harder to get, and it was really starting to take its toll.

A moment of kicking and wriggling was given before she was free from her sheets, her sitting up a moment later, rubbing her face with one hand while the other reached for her phone. Another night of rereading books until she clonked out from exhaustion was not how she wanted to spend her evening. Being alone wasn’t how she wanted to spend the night either.

And there was only one person she wanted to talk to about this.

[Text]: Can you come over? I need some advice.

[emptiness-incarnate]

Pallid fingers had come to review languid motions of the violin in the latter moments of the night; That is, the night that plagued his other, his love. For there was no differential between day and night within the endless expanse of sand that dictated his abode, instead relying only on what patterns of the sun did to her life in the effort of keeping time.

It was never easy, he'd relent, to try and wrap his head around the idea that others required sleep, to recuperate a body that didn't have his inherit gift curse. 

Feigned immortality. 

He needed no sleep, he needed no rest, all he needed was time. Wounds would heal, body parts would regrow, and all would be well once more.

How boring was he, to never require the help of another. To never rely on the power of anything else besides himself, fights of attrition only an annoyance, never a loss.

What a life did the white devil lead.

Thoughts were abruptly denied continued dominion, however, when the low vibrations of the metallic rectangle that had been gifted to him by her erupted into fruition. Holding still his instrument at his side, he took slow strides over towards the box, blackened fingernail flicking it up and reading over the words that had been sent.

He could almost hear her voice saying them.

{Text}: I'll be there in a few minutes.

No question, no sentiment of confusion, her inquiry was met only with agreement.

She wouldn't interrupt him with trivial tidbits or uncertainties, and besides, if she felt it important enough to speak to in person instead of over the phone, he'd comply.

And comply he did, barely a few minutes passing before he was stepping quietly throughout her Division, digits easing against the handle to her room before pulling the door open and sliding within, presence enough to almost rouse the vulpine creature she kept as a pet, only to have him still in the seconds after.

Returning the sliding barrier back to it's place, he wasted no time in reaching her bedside, icy digits falling across her hand and intertwining with her fingers.

"What's wrong, Lorna?"

[ideclaresurrenderpendence]

[emptiness-incarnate]

A collection of some of the times Ulquiorra was 10000% done

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

"I’ll…think of something. Maybe I’ll mix it up a bit and vary the excuses. I can’t blame those stupid idiots forever without raising some questions. And I don’t want to have to bring a burned corpse back with me as evidence…" She couldn’t even do that yet. Well, maybe she could, but it was a theory that she was rather reluctant to test. 

Mental fatigue was an understatement, and most of her mental stress was caused by the spirit. The rest of it was caused by her position and the current war. She liked to believe that a time would come soon where she wouldn’t be feeling so stressed out.

"T-That’s not true! There’s always a way to fix it! I could find a way! Totally!" Her alarm was apparent at the fact that if he turned to ash again, it was really game over for him. If anything, it made her slightly more paranoid about using her fire type zanpakuto against him.

[emptiness-incarnate]

"Be sure to put a lot of time into thinking of said excuses, then. Having to constantly fall back on a certain set of them will be noticed, and I'd rather not have to spend time helping you come up with a solid reasoning for it." Their time could be used for something much more important, either that of training, or simply enjoying each other's company without worry.

If she had not been chosen as that of a pawn, he probably would have still seen the odd nightmare or two plaguing her sleep, as well as a constant stress level that was rather high. Conflict did that to a being, and one that was on such a large scale such as this easily doubled it.

Pulling forth a light smile at her words, he shook his head once as both hands came to trace lightly over her cheeks, tilting her head up slightly so he could look at her fully. "Lorna, you needn't worry about me. I've kept myself alive for a long, long time, against opponents who are much more powerful then you. 

I'm sure I can survive some flames from your zanpakuto." 

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

The demon was quiet, great restraint being applied to avoid snarling in disgust at the arrancars words. He hated to admit how right the other was. He needed this damn child to survive until he reclaimed the tool he had lost. Until that time came, a body to call his own was out of reach, and it was far, far too late to kill her and move to a new body. He wouldn’t put it past Ulquiorra to rat him out to the shinigami if the girl died, when it was he who forced the spirit to play his hand in the first place.

"Do not speak of things you do not know. I did what I had to in the past, and I will do it again and again until I get what is mine. Hosts are nothing but pawns, easily replaceable and easy to manipulate. I will posses and kill as many of them as I must, and if you knew what I had lost, you wouldn’t damn me so. You wouldn’t feel sympathy, but you would understand why I’m doing what I’m doing."

Perhaps striking a deal with him had been a mistake, but it was something that could not be changed now. If nothing else, he was a beast that kept his word and honored his promises, especially when the arrancar had held up his end of the deal thus far.

"You also aren’t human. You haven’t been human in years. Hollows don’t carry a pack mentality, so while its odd for you, its the norm for others.

Hmph. You really do put her happiness before your own, even if it ends up causing you pain. But these events we speak of are all hypothetical. Once word gets out, she’ll be damned by her own kind. No one will look twice at her. So really, she’s your’s for all of eternity.”

[emptiness-incarnate]

Quiet acceptance was better then that of muffled rebellion, glad enough that the other was still close enough to reasoning that he understood that which had been committed when striking a deal with someone such as he. He wouldn't undermine it, that was below him, but he had no reservations in expressing the distaste that was felt because of how it had come around. Funny, how the deal had been made before he had come to feel connected to the girl originally, though now he was glad that he had given in to thought at that moment in time.

"Host are only as insignificant as the ones close to them designate, Shiranui. At this point, she has become just as integral to your plan as keeping myself from speaking of you to those who would destroy you." A blink was made at the vehemence of which the demon felt towards his desires and goals, onyx and ivory colored flanges falling to that of a frown as emerald hues burned bright. "What have you lost then, fool? Power, an item? Past that, was it truly lost, or taken from you by those acting on good intentions?" For there was a difference between simply losing something and having something taken away, with the latter usually having a fairly good reason to happen.

Feelings on the matter of the spirit that inhabited Lorna were irrelevant, so long as he kept to the deal of not harming her and making sure to keep her alive after all of it was over.

"A fair amount of hollows do. I used to be one, vying for a group that would accept my presence and take me in as both a friend and brother, but forced myself to lose that mentality as time went one.

....Most likely so, though the bonds she holds to certain individuals will probably remain. Her friends do care for her, enough so to say that they see her as that of kin, and given the chance for her, or myself, to explain the matter in its entirety, I find it hard to believe that they'll abandon her." 

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

She did feel a little bad when she had to lie to him to get practice time, but she knew it was only a temporary thing, and she knew he would forgive her once he heard the progress she had made.

Practice was still needed, this she knew, but she was very happy to know that he loved how she sounded so far. With time, she would get better, and maybe that dream of preforming together could actually be achieved.

"Well, that was the one I practiced the most, but I do know one more that you might like, if you’d like to hear it." She figured she really only had two songs in her before her voice started to strain, but it was something she hadn’t really explored yet. And even then, he probably knew exactly how to care for her after she had finished.

[emptiness-incarnate]

As long as her reasoning had been one of easy justification, he couldn't very well remain cautious of her, or even annoyed. She was doing something that she had deemed right, and he felt that no repercussions would be felt of it.

That, and her singing had been to the point where he doubted he could get mad even if he tried.

"I would, very much so." Trailing his digits lightly along her cheeks, he moved himself to sit beside her atop the edge of his bed, ivory digits retreating to rest lightly across his lap. He was curious whether or not her next song would be comparable to that of the former one, or if she had explored a different genre of music to try and recreate with her voice.

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

The smile never left her features as he came forward to show his appreciation in the form of a kiss, one that she happily returned. She had planned this present for over a month, taking every moment she could to practice the song. Singing wasn’t really her art, and she honestly wasn’t sure if she had actually gotten any better, but she was able to keep her voice consistent and keep it from cracking, so that was something.

The cookies were just an added bonus, knowing they could enjoy them later on. She also thought he would appreciate the slight irony of eating heart shaped cookies.

"I’m glad you liked it." She said quietly, hands reaching forward to intertwine with his. “You said you always wanted me to sing, so I decided no gift could be better then that.”

[emptiness-incarnate]

With the now full picture as to what had been achieved in this single moment, he found it much easier to settle the discrepancies that had appeared during the passing month as it pertained to the two of them. Continued excuses of 'too much work' fell away to describe the fact that she felt the need to hide herself away and practice for a singular event, not at all annoyed by her decision to do so, instead rather content to know she went so far just to give him such a gift.

And it was one he would cherish for a long time over, that much he knew.

"How could I not? You have a voice comparable to that of lost muses, one that I could never hear enough of, even if we kept ourselves close for over that of a year. May I ask you to sing for me again, or was that the only song you practiced routinely?"

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

"Yeah…bandages are kind of turning into the norm. I could walk around with my eye covered up and all I would have to say is a Quincy attacked me. Not that I really should be using them as an excuse but…" If she saw the opportunity to do so, she was going to seize it. It was easier to explain then trying to fabricate some freak training accident.

The spirit within her would deny to hell and back that he was directly causing the girls sleep problems. Which wouldn’t be an outright lie. The dreams certainly were his fault, but it was an uncontrollable side effect of his stay. They would be dealing with it on their own, for he could do nothing to stop them from forming in her sleeping mind.

"Do you blame me for worrying? Shiranui’s fire is weird and creepy and I’ve seen it turn just about everything into ash. And I’d rather not have to scoop you up off the ground and keep you in a jar ‘till you reformed or however it works."

[emptiness-incarnate]

"It's your choice, Lorna. Either you come up with a new excuse that isn't related to that of the Quincy, or you simply take the easier, if not perhaps better, option. No one would question you, though many would wonder how you were able to escape them with such a minor injury." They weren't exactly known for allowing survivors to be left, lest they have a message that required deliverance. 

Whether he chose to deny the accusation meant little to the arrancar, knowing that they could only be originating from him. No other explanation could be found, with the severity of them not giving way into a simple fact that it was mental fatigue causing her to be robbed of sleep.

"If I were to be turned to ash, Lorna, then I wouldn't come back. My regeneration doesn't replace that of major internal organs, and being reduced to such a small amount of matter would easily mean that my body had reached its limit.

Though, I know that it won't do such a thing to me anyway." 

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

Luck it seemed was the only reason she hadn’t been caught yet, her superiors and subordinates alike not pausing to question her lies. All of them were far too busy worrying about their own problems to really wonder why she always seemed to sneak out at every given moment she could.

"Perhaps not, but you should be happy…no, you should be grateful, that she didn’t end up like my last host. You know what happened to her? I left her corpse to rot away in a hidden passageway. Be thankful that Lorna did not meet the same fate. Be thankful that I chose to maintain this god forsaken balance between her body and my power. You think what she’s going through is terrible now? Believe me when I say I could have done much worse to her.” It was not a threat, but merely a simple fact. The beast knew what he was doing, and he knew every way to make the experience tolerable or a living hell. The child was lucky he needed her to survive for a great amount of time, or things would have gone differently for her.

"To some, being alone is more frightful then the ill happenings between one of their own.

Would you still maintain a friendship with her then? Or would you find the knowledge and sight her her in the arms of another to be too much for you to bare? Even if she were to find another, she would still hold your feelings in her mind and would never wish to cause you pain.”

[emptiness-incarnate]

Those that did pause to pose a question were met with a respectable answer that she had come up with near the beginning of their time together, that being that she was going out to train, or simply escape towards the human world for some mundane purpose. 

Expected, by them to someone of her age, not caring to seek further into why it was she was so enthralled by constant visits to a world no longer her own.

"To be grateful would be akin to thanking you for inhabiting her to begin with, Shiranui. I hold no love for how it is you have decided to further your own plans, using her as a host for your power until you are ready to strike. I damn you for such a decision, choosing someone as ill-fated as her. And was your old host as imperative to your plan as she is? The answer, as I see it, is no. You need Lorna at this point, need her to remain in good enough health as to not arouse suspicion. At this point as well, you are unable to threaten me with the chance of leaving her to die and simply inhabiting that of another, for my powers of memory are enough to deter you from taking a route that will lead to your demise." As the beast had taken the route of a neutral tone, he had done the same, simply reminding the other that nothing could be done to the girl that would lead to her death, lest he be hunted by those he wished to hide within.

"I am not some, Shiranui. I am accustomed to living out my life as that of a wanderer, isolated from all and thriving on nothingness.

There's a chance that I would, though it would remain grounded in the need to make sure she was staying well.  My thoughts on her relationship, at that point, would mean nothing to either party, and I wouldn't do something as foolish as get angry over how fate had acted.

If she chose another, then that would be it."

[emptiness-incarnate]

While there was a small plate of cookies in the shape of a heart waiting for him on the table, her actual gift was upstairs. He would find her sitting cross legged on the bed, hands folded neatly in her lap while she sang for him.

The song was quiet, and not one he would recognize as it was one from her childhood long ago, but regardless of the language barrier, she still wove the words together into a lovely melody that was for him and only him to hear. Weeks of practicing in private had finally paid off, though she knew she still needed a little bit of work.

As the song came to a quiet end, her gaze moved to meet his, smiling sheepishly at him from her seat. "Happy Valentines Day."

Digits of ivory coloring reached forward to lightly graze over the icing-covered cookies that were awaiting him, unsure as to what they were supposed to symbolize.

Reaching a hand up slowly to scratch at nightmare-stained locks, the quiet tones of a song reached his ears, head perking up as he traced it to that of his room. There was no surprise to see it emanating from her, knowing that she was the only one that could actually stay within his home, also serving as a way for him to understand why it was there were cookies to carefully placed out for him. 

Slow steps brought him to be before her as the pattering of her voiced diminished to that of nonexistence, both hands descending to cup her cheeks and tilt her head so an appreciatory kiss could be made against her lips.

"Happy Valentines Day, Lorna. That was beautiful."

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

It was common knowledge that she simply sucked at lying, a trait which annoyed him to no end, since he was a master at it. Weaving an illusion of truth through words was an art to him, and he almost couldn’t stand having a host that couldn’t even tell a small fib out of fear of being too obvious. Which she was half the time.

"Yes yes I’m fully aware that this skinny little twerp isn’t my body to mess around with. Just be happy she’s alive and relatively healthy. And I make it perfectly clear to everyone who meets me that silence is expected. Negative reactions from them will spell suffering for her. Don’t like doing it, but its the only form of retaliation I have presently. However, our deal is still in place, and I will not push her body to the point of death." Purposefully anyway. Accidents happened, and this was a very tricky balance that he had to maintain.

"You are not wrong, but even here where the dead reside, they form those pacts and bonds. Perhaps it is a simple survival instinct of theirs.

Really. You would not fight for her? You would not attempt to keep her at your side? Given how you feel about her, how you depend on her, I would have thought a little effort would have been given. Wouldn’t you miss her if she left you for another?

Not that I think it is a situation that will come to pass. Her feelings for you are pure and true, and she isn’t the type to stray away.”

[emptiness-incarnate]

He'd offered lessons to her before, moreso towards the beginning of their relationship to make sure she could keep a handle on that of making sure no one would accidentally learn of them seeing each other. Fortunately, it seemed to be the one subject that she found easy to permeate lies within, either out of necessity or simple luck, he wasn't sure.

"Happy, Shiranui? You ask me to be happy that she is being possessed by a malevolent being that is using her as a means to an end? Never will I allow the chord of happiness to be struck as it relates to you inhabiting her as a host, instead only feeling that of unease and unhappiness. I'm thankful that you've allowed our deal to persist, that can't be hidden, but the fact that a deal needed to be made initially is enough cause to negate any positive conclusions coming about from it.

Perhaps. Though whatever instinct it is certainly reaps that of negativity as well as comfort, this case being a prime example of when the lines overlap.

...Fight is too strong of a word to use. I would converse with her, certainly, seek to understand why it was that she may consider leaving me for that of another. But never would I impede her progress to transcend our relationship for one that would certainly be more fitting for her race, no longer having to hide it all behind a curtain of lies.

Nor do I. I dread the day it may come, though I'm logical enough to understand that for it to do so, her entire emotions as they relate to me must change significantly."

[screamshiranui-archive-blog]

"Well…I know they care about me and everything. But with everything that’s going on, I don’t think they would notice little cuts and everything. If I showed up with half my face bandaged then they’d notice. But non life threatening stuff just slips under the radar.

Again, as long as I can do my work and fight, then I’m deemed okay.”

Maybe that was why her sleep problems had gone unattended for so long. She made sure it wouldn’t effect her to the point of being a problem, and everyone saw it as okay. Or maybe she was just good at hiding how tired she felt half the time.

"I know you can regenerate! But its the thought that counts right?! Plus again, I honestly don’t think I’d be able to land a hit on you. Unless you don’t take to burns that well. Wait I’m not gonna accidentally burn you to a crisp am I!?"

[emptiness-incarnate]

"It's to be expected that you are to gather a few remainders of the events that are coming to pass, and even having a rather substantial injury could technically be justified, given the unpredictability of the Quincy attacks." Effective, no doubt, but it took a rather substantial mind to be able to predict that which was going to happen.

"I'll be sure to not incapacitate you, Lorna." At least, for long periods of time. Having her faint or knocking her out were easily seen as a simple accident, or a lapse in her concentration resulting in a rather unnerving problem.

Everyone but him, it seemed. Having a lack of time to sleep wasn't uncommon for shinigami, he'd found, especially officers that were within the office of a certain pale-haired captain. She just bore the brunt of it with added effects that were derived from a certain host that she was blissfully unaware of.

"Yes, yes. I'm glad you decided to pursue the thought, though you needn't worry about my being burning like that of paper. I'm rather hardy, actually, and burns are only as substantial as they would be to you."