trash

for toxic men

[toastbutteregg]

[kingofthebouncycastle13]

The music in water levels:

[deebyfeeby]

The music in snowy levels:

[luna1350]

Don’t forget the desert levels

[shelbys-advice-blog]

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. [phone]

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. [phone]

Relationships Australia Tel. [phone]

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. [phone]

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

[agent-cupcake]

Yandere killua being obsessed with how sweet his crush tastes and smells and how soft their skin and hair feel, but not nessesarly sexual way, like they just fill up his senses and he just longs for these things because he experienced them once and cant get them out of his head. (I suck at explaining so if this doesn't make sense then feel free to inturprite this however you like, as long as it's more yandere killua and you wrote it then thats all I care about)

1. I’m not super confident with writing from character POV’s 

2. I’ve been sitting on this ask for YEARS (bet you thought I’d forgotten!) but I love yandere Killua and wanted to try this.

3. BY THE WAY he’s aged up in this. Just so you know. 

♡♡♡ 

Killua would never consider why he paid so much attention to you, or why he committed so many details about you to memory (he knew, on some level of course he knew), but he could say that he had admired your smile before. In the time you’d been working together, he had appreciated the way your eyes lit up when you teased or played around, the way your lips turned up and the sound of your laugh (it was an unspoken fact within his mind that the feeling of warmth the memories brought was irrelevant).

There was more, too. Killua had seen your expression grim with a dark and serious look, sharp when you were studying or thinking hard about something. He’d seen you soft, worried, upset, and caring. Although Killua couldn’t (didn’t dare) recall the exact reason for his specific attention, in the weeks that he had known you, he’d seen and could remember you in so many different ways; Your eyebrows knit in concern, your lips pursed in concentration, your nose scrunched in embarrassment.

But, Killua had never seen your cheeks lose their rosy color or your bottom lip tremble. He had never seen your eyes wide and glassy in panic, or shiny as tears began to form.

It wasn’t that you were weak, or that you weren’t fit for this job (although Killua realized as the both of you came to a safe spot on top of an abandoned rooftop that he truly believed you deserved better). The problem was that the world was cruel, and you weren’t like him. 

Of course Killua wanted better for himself, and had learned to be better. Gon and Alluka and dozens of friends along the way had taught him how much more there was in the world, to strive for something other than the gritty and dirty darkness he’d been raised within. But, at the end of the day, he still knew the reality of people like who he once was, people like his family.

Maybe you knew that, too, at least in theory. After all, you held out better against the criminals you’d both been hired to take down than the other members of the team had. You had been able to stifle your reaction to the cruelty and horror as you saw the mission to completion. Now that it was over, though, Killua saw the toll it had taken upon you.

For some reason, it upset him more than it should have.

For some reason, Killua didn’t want you to suffer.

For some reason, he very badly wanted to protect you from it all.

Keep reading

[agent-cupcake]

Cupcake’s Masterpost~!

 MY WRITING - SHORTS AND PROMPTS

♥ = NSFW

Adultrio~ Prompt: “I swear, if anyone lays a hand on you, I’ll cut their arm off”

Telling the Trash Quartet they’re beautiful

Shalnark~ Prompt: “If loyalty isn’t enough to keep you by my side, then seven different kinds of locks should do the trick!”

Prompt: “I know everything about you, which means I know exactly how to get under your skin. Literally and figuratively.”

Shalnark prompt: “Oh, don’t worry! This won’t hurt! Well, it won’t hurt me. You? No it’ll hurt really really bad.”

Shalnark Soulmate AU

Feitan~ Non-con punishment ♥

Soulmate AU

Kurapika~ Angst w/ his first crush

Prompt: “Your life is completely in my hands, so don’t try to test my boundaries.”

Walking in on reader changing

Kurapika Prompt: “Tell me how much you love me.”

Kurapika getting his dick sucked. Like he deserves ♥

Killua~ Overprotective! yandere Killua’s S/O attempt to break up with him

Reader kissing Killua’s knuckles

Killua prompt: “Wow, you’ll listen to him but not to me?” 

Yandere Killua POV

Main four~ Shy kisses

Eating out their S/O  ♥

Reader playing with Main Four’s hair: KURAPIKA - GON - LEORIO - KILLUA

Pariston Hill~

Prompt: “You’re so vulnerable right now”

Pariston with a s/o who tried to escape from him

Prompt: “Damn, you’re tight. Am I your first? Perhaps I should have been gentler…”  ♥

Prompt: “I’d hate to hurt you, but it’s for your own good. You know how dangerous other people can be”

Prompt: “Maybe if I branded you, other people wouldn’t be such a nuisance.”

Branding prompt part two

Soulmate AU

Another yandere scenario

Reader attempting to kill Pariston

Pariston eating out an innocent ingénue ♥

Pariston Hill x Maid Reader PART ONE and PART TWO ♥

Pariston Prompt: "This hurts? Good. Keep showing me that expression, my love.“

Prompt: “You’re going to be mine. All mine.”

Midnight, the Stars and You (AKA Mafia AU) PART TWO ♥ , PART THREE, PART FOUR ♥

Pariston prompt: "I will destroy everything in my way until I have you.”

Pariston Prompt: “No, no, keep crying. I like that sound.” ♥

Illumi Zoldyck~

Prompt: “Don’t think of it as a ‘punishment’… it’s more of a lesson” 

Prompt: “Your body belongs to me as much as your mind does”

Prompt: “I won’t be as nice next time you misbehave”

Illumi’s s/o sneaks behind his back to meet Killua

Hisoka approaches Illumi’s s/o

Prompt: “If you stopped making so much noise, I might not have to be so rough”  ♥

Soulmate AU

Soulmate AU Part Two

Illumi’s s/o runs away from him PART ONE, PART TWO, and PART THREE

Illumi’s Wedding Night 

Illumi + Impregnation and overstimulation  ♥

Reader hero worships Illumi

Yandere Illumi + Punishment Sex  ♥

Illumi taking his wife from behind ♥

Illumi breaking in his new wife ♥

Prompt: “Tell me how much you love me.” ♥

Illumi standing up to Kikyo for making reader cry

Illumi + his broken wife ♥

Ultra dark Illumi + his new fuck toy ♥ and PART TWO ♥

Illumi prompt: “You know you can’t escape me. I own you now. You’re mine.” ♥

Illumi POV rewarding his wife ♥

Vampire Illumi

Hisoka Morow~

Prompt: “How else would they know you belonged to me”

Prompt: “I’ll let you out when you’ve learned your lesson.”

Prompt: “I’m overreacting? Sweetheart, if anything I’m going easy on you”

Soulmate AU

Nightmare/Incubus AU and Part Two

Prompt:  “Maybe if I branded you, other people wouldn’t be such a nuisance.”

Hisoka x Illumi x Reader threesome  ♥

Hisoka visiting Chrollo’s S/O   ♥

Wholesome Hisoka goes to the store with his s/o

Anon wanted to get dicked down from behind by Clown Daddy ♥

Hisoka teaching reader to walk in heels

Yandere Hisoka punishing his victim for ‘cheating’ ♥

Yandere Hisoka finding out his s/o is pregnant  ♥

Hisoka + Valentines Day + Suit ♥

Hisoka criminal and cop AU

Hisoka Prompt: “Wow, you’ll listen to him but not to me?”

Vampire Hisoka PART ONE, PART TWO ♥ , PART THREE

Chrollo Lucilfer~

Prompt: “He was in my way, so he had to leave. Unless you want to join him, behave”

Prompt: “If you stopped making so much noise, I might not have to be so rough”

Prompt: “Don’t cover my bite marks. If you do, I might have to add something more obvious”

Reader trying to leave possessive!Chrollo because of his bg as a criminal

Prompt: “You’re calling that jealousy? Believe me, if you can still use your legs, I’m not being jealous”  ♥

Soulmate AU Part One  and Part Two and Part Three

Prompt: “Maybe if I branded you, other people wouldn’t be such a nuisance.”

Chrollo + Spanking ♥

Yandere Father Chrollo 

Chrollo + Thigh riding ♥

Yandere Chrollo prompt series PART ONE - PART TWO - PART THREE - PART FOUR

Prompt: “You look frightened. Never had someone take your control away, little one?”

Yandere Chrollo convincing reader to eat

Chrollo prompt: “You know you can’t escape me. I own you now. You’re mine.”

Chrollo prompt: “Tell me how much you love me.” ♥

Chrollo x FBI Reader ♥

[agent-cupcake]

Chrollo saying "I love you" to his S/O for the first time? Be it with malicious intent or not is up to you~

“I love you.”

Chrollo’s answer, his response to your helpless question of why, was the final tap of the hammer. With it, he hit the head of the chisel, so crudely positioned against the protective cage of bone that fluttered with your harsh breaths, and drove the point deep into your heart.

The metallic whack rung in your ears, the physical sensation of your body giving way to his weapon with a crack followed by an awful squish nearly knocking you over. But, when your fingers rose to inspect the wound, there was no blood. There was no wound.

Nothing, nothing. So why did it hurt?

Words, all of your angry and terrified words you’d collected to confront him with, all of your disgust with the man Chrollo was in reality, got swallowed up by a vacuum void of silence in the shock of that pain. Blood rushed through your ears in a dull thrum, but that didn’t stop his voice, those three little words, from echoing in the static.

You had been fidgety and full of restless energy before, but now you were still beneath his eyes. Unable to move when Chrollo took three careful steps towards you and your limp and shaking hands in his. They were warm. And he… He was solemn. All of the playful youth was gone from his face, round eyes dark and unreadable.

“That’s why I lied to you,” Chrollo said.

The pick twisted, seeking the undamaged tissue in what remained of your heart. A tear began its way down your face, following the dried tracks of salt from earlier. Your mouth gaped as you fought to get even a single word out through the unrelenting pain.

Stop. You would beg him to stop, if you could only get in a full breath. If only you could find the strength to speak, to plead with him to stop talking.

These were the wrong words, the only ones that could hurt more than the truth.

“I had hoped you wouldn’t find out like this… What was it that tipped you off?” Chrollo’s eyebrows quirked upwards with the question, teasing an expression you were more familiar with, before falling back into place with a low hum in response to your lack of answer. “Perhaps I should have been more truthful with you, once I realized my feelings…”

How could Chrollo say these things? Talk of his feelings now that you knew of the person he truly was, after you had learned that your entire relationship had been a farce? He’d used you as nothing more than a convenient tool for his Troupe’s latest heist.

Why were you still listening?

“I didn’t expect to care for you so much.”

Those words robbed you of breath all over again. They were too cruel, unutterably so. You needed him to stop speaking in his soothingly enticing voice, would give anything to end it right then.

But, even with the needful conviction of that plea, you did nothing. Your only movements were the tremble of your bottom lip and the slow-motion parody of the denial you wanted to express in the side to side motion of your head. You wanted to scream at him, to demand that he stop looking at you, but the sound was lodged in your throat. The tense desire to pull your clammy fingers from the solid warmth he provided itched across your skin, but you couldn’t move.

This pain, the words he was saying, were all wrong. 

This wasn’t why you had come here.

With a nearly masochist yearning, you wished for Chrollo to quit toying with you and finally tell you the honest truth, to say you meant nothing to him just like you meant nothing to anybody else. Because these lies, these endless and terrible and cruel lies, would be the death of you. Surely they would. Lies like these could blind you with their beauty and enchant you with hope. They were the worst type of lies, you knew that beyond a doubt.

And yet-

“Stay with me,” Chrollo asked, low and intimate and frighteningly appealing. 

It was wrong for him to ask that, now that you had figured it out. He was meant to discard you, to throw you out. 

But you didn’t want to leave, did you?

“No…” Your refusal was weak and barely audible, you doubted he actually heard the word. Weak, you were so disgustingly weak. If you meant to say no, you’d walk away now. You wouldn’t stay and be his dupe any longer.

But you did.

“Why not?” Chrollo asked, a gently curious question that made your denial seem out of place. 

There were hundreds of reasons to go, and the only reasons you had to stay were bad ones. None of them found a way past your spinning head, which was clouded by the unshakable hold of his gaze. 

“It’s human nature to want to be loved,” Chrollo continued at your non-response, pulling you closer. Just a bit. Just enough to feel his warmth. To smell him. The action almost made a point of his words, which were absolutely right. You knew the truth of that statement better than anybody, didn’t you?

And even you… Especially you…

Love.

It was only a word. A lie easily spoken to keep you under his control. Four letters bearing an incredible weight to you, but what value did anything have to a professional thief?

“No,” you repeated. Another singular word with a debatable amount of worth. What were you really refusing, with a voice that had become thick with something like shame?

“You want to be loved,” Chrollo responded, more insistent. 

Of course you wanted to be loved. Sometimes more than anything.

That desire made you an easy mark, it made you weak, it made you hurt.

Fresh tears burned at your eyes, spilling over when you closed them against the sight of Chrollo’s face, of his eyes. It was too much, the hundreds of conflicting thoughts bleeding you out of any will to resist.

And now that it was all unraveling came the worst of it, an unhappy truth that remained in your spinning mind. It was the nasty little thought that if you had truly wanted to escape Chrollo, you wouldn’t have sought out this confrontation. Still, if you were given the choice between the pain you’d so recklessly sought out and this, you could at least say that there was something nice about these lies.  

“I love you,” Chrollo told you, his voice low. His lips pressed a kiss to your forehead, tender and sweet.

Maybe you, desperate and foolish you, could believe such a wonderful lie if it was one that promised love. Maybe a lie like this would be all you’d ever have. 

“I love you too,” you told him in return.

And maybe you, desperate and foolish you, could believe that was a lie, too.    

[normal-horoscopes]

Literally nothing makes me happier than the idea of hunting Elon Musk for sport. I am completely serious. The thought actively brings joy to my day.

[normal-horoscopes]

I'd even give him a backpack of food, maybe a day's worth. I'd even leave all his little gadgets on him. You'd only get connection with satellite anyway. He's got to feel confident or it's no fun.

[iamaperture]

Would you toy with him a bunch, or just go straight-in for the kill?

[normal-horoscopes]

Oh you absolutely draw it out are you kidding? You let the initial confidence erode into loneliness as the food and batteries run low, and helplessness when they run out, then fear when he realizes I gave him a canteen but no water. Am I trying to prolong the hunt? Or is it a trap to draw him out towards the rivers? The answer is both.

I’d let him get clever. Maybe he can start a fire with the electronics, maybe he read that he can brew the pine needles into tea for some extra calories. Maybe hes one of those guys that carries a multitool he never uses. Maybe he whittles a branch into a crude spear and manages to catch a salmon. Maybe he learns how many little bones they have.

More likely he goes hungry. That’s when you start fucking with him. You sneak into his camp at night. You leave him protein bars. Good ones. You make him feel watched. You make him feel desperate.

You wait for the full moon. Then you break out the horns and dogs and you learn how fast he can really run.

[galvanizedfriend]

Chloé Zhao, who just won an Oscar for best director, writes fanfiction.

That's the kind of validation I needed in my life. Thank you, ma'am.

[erlkoenige]

fictional characters can kill as many people as they want but it’s illegal for them to be annoying hope this helps

[thesocietalmisfit-deactivated20]

[catchymemes]

[modernmissbennet]

people in period clothing doing modern things is my aesthetic

[starsfadingbutilingeron]

i can’t believe you forgot the most important one

[modernmissbennet]

thank you! I couldn’t find that one in google!

[revolutionary-pirate]

I would like to add Alexander Hamilton himself to this collection.

[lionowlonao3]

and of course, alexandra dowling using a tablet computer on the set of BBC musketeers 

[rhube]

You forgot my favourites.

[gaslightgallows]

These are all canon.

[charlieism]

this is my favourite post

[captain-raven-knight]

On the Gandalf note, this is also amazing: 

May I add this one out of sheer delight?

It cracks me up every time. I love this!

[musketeersandmuskets]

May I add Hugo Speer on the set of The Musketeers:

[musketeersandmuskets]

[enigma-the-mysterious]

Cry about the door not opening:

[29-pieces]

Just wait for it. The door will open. It's desperate to impress you.

And it does.

[babesoftheblade]

"HAVE ANY OF YOU HEARD OF KNOCKING?"

[incorrect-musketeers]

I feel that Milady is the most likely to “enter through an unreachable upper story window, scaring and bewildering anyone inside”

[ofools]

not gonna say it again!!!!

a BOG is a wetland that is acidic

a FEN is a wetland that is alkaline

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

FINALLY someone said it!!!!!!!

[flight-freedom-deactivated20231]

a SWAMP is a wetland that can support trees a MARSH is a wetland that cannot support trees

[angelicguy]

guys when they think a girl is hot: she is objectively attractive

girls when they think a guy is hot: yeah hes hot but only if you think of a german coal mine from 1882 that hes forced to work in to provide for his family of 12. he gives off that vibe

[jentlemahae]

crying

[jentlemahae]

user markshotaros going shooters for karl marx

[sagicidal]

u forgot the best part

[lastoneout]

This came across my feed a little bit ago so I'm glad I finally have context for it

[incorrectbungoustraydogs]

Dazai, ruffling Akutagawa’s hair affectionately: Who’s my favorite subordinate?

Akutagawa: [monotone] Man-tiger.

Dazai, moving away: You’re right. It’s Atsushi, you useless shit.

[aiyanayanas]

[enchantrash-files]

not @ me reblogging this as if im dating anyone at all 💀

[yamanaka-shin]

how do I express with words that my preferred version of Lingfan isn't the concept in which she's made Empress because she married him, but rather they marry and she stays his most trusted and most skilled Guard because it's sick as hell. Imagine meeting with some Important People about some Important Matters and they ask you why your spouse isn't with you and you say just give it a moment. That's when the Guard you saw earlier as you (the Important Man) were coming in that had been disposing of an assassin strides in and kisses the Emperor on the mouth. Yes my spouse kills bastards that try to kill me and makes it look like the easiest task in the world :) and if they magically get past her then they'll have to answer to MY sword. Either way none have ever made it out alive. And that's very sexy of us. Now what business are you here for?

Don't get me wrong. I also like your standard Empress Lan Fan brand of Lingfan. I think it's cute as fuck. But it pales in comparison to letting her stay a badass warrior who beats the shit out of assassins regularly. Cuz I never really seem to see a version that includes both and that's disheartening. If you're gonna Break All The Traditions, you mind as well go all the fucking way.

[just-trying-my-best-everyday]

Hells to the yes.

[january-tala]

OMG. Yes

[yamanaka-shin]

I see a couple people showing interest in this again so I need to clarify one reason why I made it.

It has a lot to do with how defanged it seems to make Lan Fan every time it takes the Empress approach. It reduces her to just some pretty spouse for Ling, which I cannot stand. If I don't like Edwin mainly for how it makes Winry into just a love interest for Ed, why would I like Lingfan that does the same thing?

I prefer letting everyone have agency and autonomy. I want everyone to be the masters of their own selves before they're the lover of anyone else. Love is powerful and wonderful but should never take priority over personhood. Part of why I love Lan Fan so fiercely is because she's so badass, capable, and dangerous while also being adorable, loyal, dedicated, and a good kid. You can't throw away someone's skills in favor of having them just be the love interest unless they themselves are explicitly saying that's what they want.

Do you know how powerless it would make her feel to no longer at least have the OPTION to keep her significant other safe? He's also very capable in combat, but it never hurts to have someone around that always has your back. They make a very good team. I certainly would piss my pants at the prospect of coming up against them in a combat scenario.

My point is... complicated still. Because I also resent what this kind of upbringing does to kids/characters. When the fuck is the last time anyone that isn't Ling or Fu showed her protection and devotion, huh? This is still a teenager, she's still 15. It's a lot to put on a child. Even if she IS good at what she does and has proven herself a lethal individual in combat.

I want more compromise, dammit. Let her keep the chance to safeguard the Emperor but don't make that her most defining sense of self. At least leave the option open. Though I'd have to say it would probably take a lot to get her out of 24/7 Guard Mode. Lan Fan, relax? Oh you must be joking. Therein lies the NEED to make it possible. Cuz no one should have to spend their every damn moment on constant high alert with absolutely no flex room to breathe and enjoy the moment. Especially in love.

I want a version of Lingfan that treads the gray area with nuance. I want a happy medium. I want the best of all worlds. ya know, like the idea of "oh shit the Empress and the Captain of the Guard ARE THE SAME PERSON?" That would be just so fucking satisfying. And even with her out there keeping everyone safe, gods help you if you manage to get close to her husband, he'll fuck you up too.

This is a Battle Couple. We need to act like it.

[enchantrash-files]

i vouch for this so I can see Ling answering "It'd be an honour to see your empress" by "yeah just give her a sec" and bodyguard!Lan Fan vanishes and reappears with her official Xing empress dress