[hvrtbroken]

the two were always something different together . her father used to joke that it was like nobody else existed in the room when it was just them two . even when lena would enter a party late , she'd inevitably drift over to jonah . he was her magnet . her northstar . her lighthouse . she'd cried for a week straight when they'd left to opposing colleges . she'd felt like maybe it was another kind of heartbreak , although she'd never explicitly told him that . never wanted him to see how much he could ( did ) affect her . LENA ROLLS HER EYES AT HIS COMMENT . an ongoing theme with jonah : he's the best person in every room . yes , too nice . lena wouldn't have him any other way .

lena can't help but smile , amused , as jonah talks about his sisters . " grace would soar being out of state . this place is too small to contain her . " lena agrees . " don't tell me your parents are feeling protective over her flying the nest ? " she always liked jonah's family . they were so different from her own . speaking of which . . . she fiddles with her glass , gives an indifferent shrug . she doesn't want to speak about her brother and father right now . " they're same old , same old . " and she knows that jonah knows what that means , above all else .

as she puts her drink down , lena feels like a second wind has thrilled through her . she glances around , belatedly realising the bar is closing . " god , what time is it ? i take it back , jonah . you're a bad influence . " she teases . she follows him , and wonders vaguely what it would take for him to one day actually touch her . to close the distance . place his hand on her back . even when they were younger , he'd hover . never quite touch . it was her who'd reach for his hand , to pull him through a crowded room . her who'd link arms together , or create stupid daisy chains to drape around his neck .

lena used to be an expert at wearing heels , but it's been a hot second since she's done it outside , and in a dress . she muffles a laughter , delighted at this spontaneous adventure . she reaches down , holding a hand out for jonah to help steady her ( because he's there . he always is ) . she slips off her heels easily and holds them in her other hand . " is this payback for the time i made you come out here in your slippers and you got mud all over them ? " the pair clamber together , ungraceful , but with her heart thrumming out a new pattern . DEJA VU HITS HER SO ENTIRELY THAT IT ALMOST WINDS HER . " i remember . " she breathes it out , as if surprised . she swallows . thick . jonah is looking at the trees , and she's looking at him . the wind tussles some of his hair and lena feels her stomach roll . " i remember . " she repeats . she's still holding jonah's hand , but loosely . only their fingers vaguely intertwined . " god . i can't believe you remember that . " but she can . lena swallows , watching him scope out the trees , and she feels a strange sense of longing , to be those kids again , but properly this time . " . . . is there anything you don't remember about us , jonah ? " lena moves closer , holding up her phone with its light on to help him as he looks . " i think it was that tree . on the left . careful , i swear we almost broke our necks carving it in. "

[endevoured]

jonah’s eyes drifted across lena’s face as she briefly spoke about her family, knowing the implication behind her words and to leave it be. he itched to ask if she was okay being around her father and brother, wanting to know if anything had changed despite already knowing the answer. lena had to know that she could still tell jonah anything after all these years, but more than anything he wanted to hear her say it. sometimes he thought he could die at the possibility of lena telling him how he made her feel safe, that it was still them against the world despite time and distance and any other obstacle life threw their way. 

moving at her pace, jonah stayed close by and smiled fondly at lena’s slight staggering, moving away from the empty bar and into seclusion. “nice try! i may be a little drunk, but you could never convince me that i’m the bad influence between us,” jonah laughed, taking lena’s outstretched hand. “i loved those slippers,” jonah recalled the time lena dragged him outside right after it had rained. “no fucking idea why i decided to have them on in the mud. did i ever tell you i tried to convince my mom that we should just wash them and still keep them?” god, now he was babbling. it was like jonah felt the need to entertain, to keep the conversation flowing no matter what the cost to hold anyone’s interest. he felt like if he shut up lena would disappear, move off in the opposite direction only to become a memory to him again. 

“you remember,” he replied back simply, almost in disbelief. his breath caught in his throat as he watched lena on mission to help find the carvings, admiring how beautiful she looked hiking up her dress just a bit so she could crouch, look of concentration on her face. suddenly they were twelve and messing around in this same spot while their parents had dinner and drinks in the building behind them. he would pretend to flick a bug on her and they’d end up rolling around in the grass, giggling and watching the summer sun dip behind the trees that blocked the bustling highway. 

“holy shit, you found it?” jonah’s heart felt light, moving to crouch next to lena and shine his own phone flashlight at the tree. “you’re gonna break your ankles. can you sit?” he asked the stupid question, wondering if lena could maneuver to sit in the grass. “i wanna see if i can take a picture of it…” his voice drifted off, squinting a bit as he zoomed in on his camera.

[hvrtbroken]

she shakes her head , always almost in awe of how CLUELESS jonah is . it's all part of his charm . sometimes , she thinks he doesn't even realise how he looks at her . she grins, bemused , and looks down at her glass . " you're too nice , jonah . " lena has said it about a billion times , but it never stops being correct . he's so nice that it's unfair . she hopes he stays like this forever . " you NEVER know when a girl is hitting on you . " she states , matter of fact . she points her finger at him , as if accusatory . " that's your problem . then you come off as uninterested . it's a wonder you're not a virgin . " lena breaks into a laugh , never tiring of ribbing him . her heart squeezes . HE'S HER BEST FRIEND . nobody has or will ever know her like he does .

her hand is in his hair and she wants to keep it there . there have been so many moments like this over the years . moments where she's allowed herself to linger . where she's let herself look at his lips , then his mouth . where she's kept her knee pressed to his , her pinky grazing his . where they've breathed the same breath , faced each other during a sleepover , or late night out . SO MANY NIGHTS , AND THEY ALWAYS END UP RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER . she always broke away . always turned . always moved her head at the last second , refused to believe anything could have happened . years , decades , minutes , seconds . whole lifetimes . jonah knew her when she used to die her hair black and wear 40 jelly bracelets on each arm . he knew her when she'd wear the shortest skirts to parties , and he'd cover her so she could bend over and pick up a drink . LENA SMILES AT HIM NOW . not the smile she gives everyone else , but the one that makes her feel like a kid again . the one that is almost goofy , and shows off her snaggle tooth . " how are your sisters ? " she asks , curiously . " god , how old are they now ? " the idea of others aging around her only remind her that she's doing the same .

she spins her glass , aimlessly , resting both her elbows on the small table occupied by her and jonah . at his request for her to chug it , her eyebrows fly up . she hasn't chugged anything in a year or two . she laughs . " are you trying to get me wasted , jonah ? " she obeys though . because it's him ,and she's her . she lifts the glass , keeps her eyes on him , and swallows the wine in a few big mouthfuls . she pulls a face. " i'm not as good at that as i used to be. " her brain swims , warm . " ok , jojo . " old , silly nickname rolls right off . " take me away . what are you showing me ? "

[endevoured]

jonah may not have seemed tipsy to the untrained eye, but with lena having seen all different sides of him for years, she could definitely tell he was getting a bit more confident and talkative. "too nice? i didn't that was possible," he teased back, doing his best to match her energy all while feeling his heart rate speed up once lena touched his hair. was it sick that his first instinct was to lean into it? there was never enough of lena, despite all odds. despite how she would pull him close before changing her mind and pushing him away. nearly always at arms length, it felt good to be in this position with her. damn, he really needed to sober up.

"they're good," jonah smiled at lena mentioning his sisters. they always looked up to lena when they were all living at home, often the number one culprits of teasing them for not being together despite all the time they spent together. "grace wants to move out of state, and my parents aren't having it," he shrugged. "i guess she wants to get out and do her own thing. they should let her have a shot at it." he more than understood where grace was coming from. one regret jonah had was not taking more chances when he was younger, but there was no time to dwell on that now. "how is your family?" he asked, eyes wandering over the last few sips of alcohol in lena's glass.

watching the slight skepticism on her face, jonah couldn't help but smile as lena finished off the rest of her drink. "not trying to get you wasted, but we have places to be," he quipped, nodding subtly towards the bar door. the room had pretty much cleared out, a few bartenders and employees milling about and cleaning before closing up for the night. leading lena outside, jonah turned to hover his hand against the small of her back, not quite touching but there in case she needed support.

"maybe you shouldn't be doing this in heels," jonah chuckled, feeling a bit bad once they started reaching the uneven terrain of the gravel parking lot and grass. "but it's just up here. do you remember how we used to sneak off while our parents got drinks at this very bar, or down the road eating dinner?" he pointed several feet away to a row to trees, vaguely remembering something he held sacred etched into one of them. "we wrote our initials on one of these," he murmured, almost to himself as he intensely began scanning some of the slender trunks. "you remember this, right? it has to still be here."

[endevoured]

rocking the glass in his hand back and forth slightly, jonah looked up from his drink just long enough to notice that most of the room had cleared out. the overdue night out with friends had been a successful one for the most part, many of them droning on about suffering through long shifts at their first adult jobs, rent skyrocketing, their latest prospects, and a whole bunch of other shit he wasn’t particularly interested in. at least the drinks were good. jonah’s eyes had been wandering over to lena for most of the night, watching her mannerisms and listening to her voice which seemed to lift above everyone else's. it was easy to be enamoured with lena, she was confident and obviously stunning. her presence could command an entire room without her even trying, and jonah was finding it hard to not make it obvious that all he wanted to do was talk to his childhood friend for the entire evening. 

jonah was wrapping up a conversation with one of his old school buddies when he felt a soft knock against his shoulder. “hey,” he smiled, the greeting spilling out quickly before chuckling at her banter regarding growing old. “how are you so sure i’ll be the one with the first grey to pluck,” he teased, lifting his glass back to his lips. “i saw you got cornered by madeline,” he feigned a grimace. “nothing could have prepared me for her monologue about getting cheated on the same guy…three times in six months.” his eyes locked with lena’s for a moment, throwing the last back of alcohol down his throat before clearing it. “you uh, are you staying much longer?”

[hvrtbroken]

jonah's always had a way looking at her that's been terrifying . when she was younger , she'd see the all-knowing smiles from others , the way parents would coo and comment how ' those 2 are gonna get married one day , just you wait ' . instead of it being soothing , it always felt like lena had no choice in the matter . it was terrifying . HE was terrifying . it's been years , though . decades , really ( almost ) , that they've known each other . and right now , when she meets jonah's eyes , she doesn't feel panic at what she sees there . she feels something melt within her , comforting . she knows its the alcohol . but her and jonah have always gotten along together in a way that she's never found with anyone else . the two could always find a way to preoccupy a busy room and feel like it was just THEM IN IT . she laughs at his comment , and rolls her eyes , big and dramatic . lena pretends to look over her shoulder , even though she knows madeline is long gone . " i think she was especially telling you because she was trying to sleep with you , jonah . nothing gets a girl over a guy like getting under another . " she flashes him a grin . " and madeline's never really been good at being single , huh ? " it's not the nicest thing to say , but lena's never been that close with her anyways .

jonah's question is asked in such a way that it bring an intense wave of deja vu to her . while he looks different , older , ( hotter ) , stronger . . . the way his voice dips , the way he talks . . . even the way he looks at her . . . it's all remained the same . it makes heat rise inside of her , but she pushes it away as she swings her hair out of her face . " well . " lena extends the extra glass of wine she bought . " i was hoping you'd drink this with me . " it's a stupid move , leaving the two of them alone . it feels different than it ever has before . lena tilts her head at him . her eyes survey his hair , his eyes , his nose . almost his lips . almost . but she looks him in the eye again and smiles , faint yet nostalgic . " unless you were planning on heading ? " lena hates that she knows the answer . he'd never leave without her . he's still so trustworthy to her that it hurts . " i think i can see a grey on you already . " she adds , teasingly . she reaches up to touch his hair and finds it softer than she remembers . " new conditioner ? " she asks . " i coulda sworn you'd stay with your 6-in-1 forever . "

[endevoured]

one thing jonah always envied about lena was how she made everything look effortless. she was a smooth talker, bantering her way around the room naturally with all eyes on her. even now, with her making a joke about madeline wanting to sleep with him, his main focus was still on whether or not they would have some time alone outside of the bar before the night ended. “now what makes you say that?” he decided to play along, running a hand through his hair before leaning back against the bar behind him. “could it have been the way she made fun of my shirt before heading off with another guy?” maybe it was in poor tase to joke about another friend like this, but fuck it. they’d see madeline another year down the road, six months if they were to be optimistic. now lena and jonah, they were different. they had kept in touch over the years despite both moving away from their hometown for a while, always making it a point to stay in each other’s lives. it was something jonah was eternally thankful for, knowing lena still wanted him around to some degree. 

although she looked different, her hair a bit longer and her eyes slightly darker, she was still his lena…the girl who held his hand at the bus stop when he was scared for the first day of second grade, the one who would do her best to call him at least once a week when they were in school to talk about how hard classes were and whether or not they were missing home. being next to her should feel natural, but for some reason it was a bit terrifying. maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was her perfume and how she was looking at him, but things felt different. it almost felt like if he were to reach out and touch her she wouldn’t shy away. before deciding it was all in his head, lena reached for him first. “ha ha,” he laughs sarcastically as lena brushed her fingers through his hair, commenting about his infamous multipurpose (and ineffective) shampoo from his teenage years. “i finally decided to listen to you and my sisters after all these years and take care of it,” he referred to his previously unkempt mop from the past. 

“i mean i wasn’t…i have nowhere to be,” he said as casually as possible, about to order himself another drink when a bartender announced last call. “chug that,” he gestured towards lena’s wine glass. “i have something i want to show you, actually.” slightly tipsy and more brave than usual, a lightbulb had gone off in his head on where he could take lena if she wasn’t interested in going home.

[hvrtbroken]

starter for @endevoured !! 𝘧𝘵 . 𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘩

when lena looks back at their table , she realises that it's that time of the night where everyone has disappeared . everyone , that is , except jonah . because it's always jonah who stays with her , for her , end of the night , start of the day , pickups in cars , drop offs at home . JONAH . she knows its strongly thanks to the alcohol , but also strongly that part within her that she resists to the moon and back . . . but she allows her heart to lift at seeing him . it's been a while since they've all reunited like this , yet time barely feels like its passed . however , when she looks at jonah now , lena DOES know he's a different man . different from the boy who lived down the street . the one she went to school with . the one she'd fly over to visit in colleges , drunkenly pass shots to . there's a maturation within him . he's filled out in his shoulders , his hair . he's always been good looking but lena can ( slightly tipsily ) admit he's SEXY now .

she clears her throat as she grabs up their next round of wine , and sashays through the crowd to him , like he's her personal lighthouse . " last two standing , just like it used to be , huh ? " she feels like it's been a lifetime since it's felt like this between them . warmer . charged . SAFE . lena's walls are weakened because of the alcohol , but also just because she's missed him so damn much . it doesn't feel like they have years of history and baggage between them right now . her shoulder gently knocks against his. " it's weird to think we're like , technically old now , right ? or , at the very least , ' adults ' . " lena grins then , wide , almost goofy . unlike her usual reserved , polite one . " i'll be plucking greys from you any day now . "

[endevoured]

rocking the glass in his hand back and forth slightly, jonah looked up from his drink just long enough to notice that most of the room had cleared out. the overdue night out with friends had been a successful one for the most part, many of them droning on about suffering through long shifts at their first adult jobs, rent skyrocketing, their latest prospects, and a whole bunch of other shit he wasn’t particularly interested in. at least the drinks were good. jonah’s eyes had been wandering over to lena for most of the night, watching her mannerisms and listening to her voice which seemed to lift above everyone else's. it was easy to be enamoured with lena, she was confident and obviously stunning. her presence could command an entire room without her even trying, and jonah was finding it hard to not make it obvious that all he wanted to do was talk to his childhood friend for the entire evening. 

jonah was wrapping up a conversation with one of his old school buddies when he felt a soft knock against his shoulder. “hey,” he smiled, the greeting spilling out quickly before chuckling at her banter regarding growing old. “how are you so sure i’ll be the one with the first grey to pluck,” he teased, lifting his glass back to his lips. “i saw you got cornered by madeline,” he feigned a grimace. “nothing could have prepared me for her monologue about getting cheated on the same guy…three times in six months.” his eyes locked with lena’s for a moment, throwing the last back of alcohol down his throat before clearing it. “you uh, are you staying much longer?”