DRAGONISMS

Enter Kat Dragon. What is DRAGONISMS?Click If Feeling Alternative.

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a little side project to pass the time from yours truly. 

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Happy Monday Fuckers

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Why does being successful mean selling out? Surely you should be happy that these bands are doing well? Most musicians' styles change over time anyway.

This is totally and completely true and I am happy that they are successful. To strive for a comfortable life is something that I, personally think is a goal of merit. The independent music culture from which the aforementioned bands came from, shits on mainstream culture. They immediately label newly successful artists as "sell-outs" once they're music is listened to by a larger demographic. I'm sure you're aware of the idea that "if  its cool and playing on z100...then it has no soul or emotion"...that sort of thing. But then again you might not be because you completely missed the entire point of this post...every thing i write is satirical. Satire. Its a thing. Look it up. 

Love,

KDragz

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Dear Sell Outs

Hi, 

I have a letter to write to all the sell-outs of the world. Here it goes:

Dear Sell-outs, 

You Black Keys, Deer Ticks and Arcade Fires of the world. This letter goes out to those bands that gave up meaningful lyrics and real instruments in exchange for product jingles and manufactured beats. You once sang about your feelings and how the world is going to shit. You once played guitar and drums. Now...Your emotional dirge is the soundtrack to a Nescafé commercial having been remixed through the meatgrinder that is electronic dance music. All I want to say is

Congratulations...you made the right choice. 

Instead of a round of applause from the 4 member audience at the local dive bar...you are now rolling in a pile of money safeguarded by a circle of hookers.

Instead of the chubby mid-western transplant chatting up a storm after your poorly attended show...you're now shooting the shit with Letterman on The Late Show. 

Instead of your girlfriend's father making fun of your newest song while simultaneously lambasting your decision to pursue a career in music...Justin Timberlake is impersonating you on SNL.

Instead of a handwritten card given to you by Mom explaining how much your music inspired her...you're music is now "inspiring" all of America. You know this because of the multiple grammys you've just won. 

So what if you sing backup for the worlds dykiest car...you are now rich.

And everyone knows that that's the most important thing in the world. 

Love,

KDragz

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What to do when the DPRK follows you on Twitter..

Hello,

It's true. Kim Jong-un...or one of his eunichs is now a fan of DRAGONISMS!

So the only thing that came to mind, was to retweet a picture of DPRK's former leader, Kim Jong-il like 20 times....

Unfortunately, 

I couldn't find any pictures of Kim Jong-il that I found particularly interesting. They were all of him looking at stuff. 

So! I decided to go with this one! 

Maybe if things go smoothly, Mr. Jong-un will come and visit Colby!

Keeping my fingers crossed!!

Love, 

KDragz

[beyonce]

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photoshop fail....queue forehead. 

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all day errday. 

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Eat It Don’t Tweet It Pokes Fun at Food Porn Photography

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Woops. Guilty except I never use the flash because that way people don't openly KNOW you're a huge wiener. 

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But You’re Like Really Single, Adam Levine!

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Oh, Now I understand why Xtina has been so bloated as of late. 

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Visit Original Link

Keep You- Wild Belle

she looks hot, which means she probably can't read, which makes me like her even more. 

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A Quick Reminder

Hello, 

This is one of my shorter posts because I thought It'd appeal to my illiterate and/or mongoloid-al followers. 

This is just a quick reminder that stereotypes are actually always true. 

...yes you will. 

That is all.

Love,

KDragz

[archiemcphee]

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A Stairlift Designed for Obese Pets

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This would be perfect for Angus.

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Staying in Anthem, A Parody of Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO

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story of my life. 

[mylifeasashlee]

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Lol

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Visit Original Link

Call Me Maybe- Carly Rae Titson

This song is awesome. 

Thanks Lax. 

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Shit Kat Dragon at Colby College in Waterville, ME says

Ah trends. 

I love them but hate them because I'm too relevant and pensive and I'm from NYC yet I stay up late at night crying to the Lana del Rey album and obsessive over them. 

Thus is trends. 

The one I'm about to shit on is the "Shit obscurely specific demographics say" a.k.a

Shit fashion girls say

Shit Denver girls say 

Shit black girls say

  **I'm not posting the links because I inherently dislike these videos. Therefore, so should you...if anyone besides my mother or boyfriend is reading this...which I doubt. lol

As time progresses, these viral youtube videos have become SO peculiar and exclusive that they've begun to miss the point. 

*Note to all mongoloids reading this: The point is to crack jokes vague yet slightly explicit enough to  trigger an "a-ha!" moment within a broad group of people. That lame saying "Itz funny cuz its true" shit is completely applicable to these filmed abortions. 

BUT ALAS

the videos keep getting SPECIFIKER AND SPECIFIKER lol. 

Like the other day my lovely greenish brownish BMish colored eyes were molested by the video Shit OscarPR girls say

this video regurgitates one liners that Public relation employees for OSCAR DE LA RENTA, the fashion designer, share in common. But calling him by his first name...?

MOST PEOPLE ONLY KNOW OF LIKE TWO PEOPLE BY THEIR FIRST NAMES

Madonna 

Jesus

          Then there are videos like "Shit Graduate students say" where its like, half the fucking country doesn't even graduate middle school because "Teen Mom 12" is now a job option...

fucking trash

So now I'm going to prove my point by violating your reading balls with 

~SHIT KAT DRAGON AT COLBY COLLEGE IN WATERVILLE MAINE SAYS!"

lol

"I have a package that I need to pick up but don't want to walk to the third tier of the Hillside parking lot to get my big black navigator to drive there because of the snow because I'm wearing ankle socks and 3/4 length black spandex so the snow storm that is currently taking a shivery dump on campus is now entering my Achilles region and is making me cold and grumpier than usual so I guess I'll get the package l8r."

LOL

BRING ON THE LAUGHS

Here's another one

"It's bar night tonight and it's at Mainely's which is totally my favorite but I'm going to wear this specific type of dark gothic lipstick just like the Gucci fall '12 line with the intention of being perceived as edgy and ballsy to go beyond the typical NESCAC barbour/ tory burch/ pastel burt's bee's tinted lip balm canon which I saw on style.com which is a website that any other Colby girl is too dumb and provincial to even know of but the line to the bathroom is always so long and I'd need to reapply the lipstick throughout the night and that one blonde senior ALWAYS takes a massive shit in the stalls every time bar night is at mainelys which causes their unventilated tiny bathroom to singe the eyebrows off any normal stomached human being so I guess I'll just bring a compact mirror to reapply my tom ford black orchid lipstick which cost me $48 which is way too much for lipstick but worth every penny to look better and urbanier than the average NESCAC slunt." 

LOL I KNOW YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!

no you dont. 

Love,

KDragz

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