One more day before the storm

[Kor listened with great interest. She was always fond of hearing about people’s homes. The galaxy was so vast, she couldn’t possibly hope to know all of it, but she would take what she could get. When he hesitated, she did too, but only for a moment.]

Do you miss it? Your home? How long have you been away from it…? [She glanced down, thinking of her own home, something she rarely did for fear of missing it.]

[The change of subject was quick, and she wondered if he would even bother to answer her questions. Maybe not today.]

Oh, well- [she gestured to her uniform, the badge on her chest.] I work there, I’m about to start my shift. I’ve got some research to do. [She held up the PADD.] I find it to be kinda fun, but I know not everyone is into that kinda thing. [She shrugged and held her hands behind her back.]

[To say the least, Sejeln was surprised that the girl was taking so much interest in Raumura. Under any other circumstance it would’ve made him suspicious, but he strangely trusted her.] Well, ah, I’ve been gone about…. [Fuck. How long had the ship been in space?] 10 months. [That had to be enough time to get from Raumura to Earth and for the ship to be in space for six months or so, right?]

I don’t really miss it, not that much. Maybe a little bit. [He shrugged before listening to her.] No, research can be fun, but that depends on what you’re doing.

#entrbavelyn

[For a moment Kor hesitated, wondering what she should do next. His unease was putting her on edge, as she usually responded, and that just wouldn’t do. Reaching out with the hand not clutching the PADD, she patted his arm in a light, friendly manner]

Ranmura? [Kor frowned. She had never heard of such a place before, and curiosity was tugging at her. She brightened up a bit, turning in the direction of sickbay, though she was still looking back at him.] Well, if you’re not busy, why don’t you walk with me to sickbay, make sure I don’t walk into any more walls, and you can tell me about Ranmura. If you don’t mind, that is. [She canted her head to the side slightly, looking at him in an inquisitive manner. Determination had set in, and Kor was going to make sure she at least made an acquaintance of him.]

Ah, yeah, okay. [Sejeln shrugged and followed the girl.] Raumura. In the Carina–Sagittarius Arm of the Milky Way Galaxy. That's where I live. Used to live. [He hesitated. thinking back on his home. He missed it... or how it used to be. But not the state the planet was in now. Not that he should tell this girl about it. Too dangerous.]

But that's enough about me. What about you? What do you need n sickbay? [Sejeln had never been good at small talk, even back home, and trying to talk to a girl he barely knew in a language he was unfamiliar with was not something he was used to. All the same, he tried to act as natural as possible. And besides, she was rather friendly.]

Taire knew that he would bend over backwards to do anything, anything at all for this man. It was a convinction firmly entrenched within his heart - he did not need memories to know why, nor did he need an explanation. Taire R. would simply do anything Sejeln asked of him - that was a fact.

But what Sejeln was asking of him was impossible and Taire was too angry to pretend otherwise.

"Fuck you," he spat, low and sibilant. "Don’t cheapen my words, the few words I ever only meant. Fuck you and your martyred righteousness - fuck you, Apollo, for praising and slapping and then praising me again, like I’m some dog."

He turned to face the man, and continued his tirade. “Know that I would do anything you ask of me - black your boots, even - but what you ask for is impossible. For all the reasons you think of me, and some that you will never know.”

He got up, a whole rushing movement, and began climbing over the small wall they had erected. Taire needed to get out, get away from the space and the man himself. He needed out.

#short short sorry #entrtaire #touch mouths #kiss him

"Taire, please!" Sejeln's voice rose, but not in anger but in panic. "Come back, don't do anything stupid!" He rushed after Taire, grabbing the man's arm. "Look, I'm sorry!" He had no idea how to deal with this, he had messed up big time, that much was obvious. But now what....?

"I don't know why it's so hard for you to do this for me, but fine, whatever, don't. But don't get angry!" He was growing frustrated, but only because to have Taire ignore him would mean he was lost- he didn't have Sephr or Tuf to ground him now- and Taire was running from him.

He had fucked up. Fucked up big time.

"Please, then," Sejeln exclaimed, looking Taire in the eye, his expression pleading. "Just tell me what you want me to do. I'l do anything, just tell me what you want from me. Please!"

[To Kor, the man seemed nervous. She smiled warmly to try and relax him, let him know she wasn’t going to judge him or anything of the sort.]

Sejeln? I’ve never heard that name before. Where are you from, if you don’t mind me asking? And I’m Korina, by the way. [When asked about her destination she gestured to the hall she was headed down before her little accident]

I was just headed to sickbay. Got some reports to hand it. [She held up the PADD sheepishly] What about you? I haven’t distracted you from something, have I?

[Evelyn smiled at Kor hesitantly, nodding.] Right. I... [Sejeln hesitated. telling this girl that he was from Raumura was probably a dangerous idea, especially if she was educated on the revolution. All the same, he wasn't too worried.] Pleasure to meet you, Korina. I'm from Raumura. Don't know if you've heard of it.

[He nodded, not totally certain of what she was talking about.] Ah, yes, right. But no, no! You're not distracting me from anything, it's fine!

#entrbavelyn

[Of course someone saw. It was a busy starship after all. Like Korina would be lucky enough to remain unseen. She took the engineers hand and got to her feet, picking up her PADD as well]

Er, I’m fine. Thank you though. It was kind of you to stop and help. [Kor could tell his English was a bit off and she immediately felt compassion over take her. It had taken her ages to perfect her English. Realizing she was still holding the…what was he? She wasn’t sure of his species. Well, she realizing she was still holding his hand, she let go quickly, dropping it to her side]

[Sejeln raised an eyebrow as the girl let go of his hand and he shuffled his feet, trying to figure out what to say.] Ah, yes. Well, good. You're welcome. My name is Sejeln. [The words felt heavy on his tongue, his accent obviously and painfully thick.]

Where were you headed? [He was unfamiliar with the ship himself, which was acceptable seeing as he and Taire held the alibi of being transferrs from the other ship. All the same, he was nervous about his lying abilities. At least he had the pheromone in case he needed to get away without being remembered.]

#entrbavelyn

[Engrossed in the PADD in her hands, Korina navigated her way through the halls, making her way to sickbay as fast as she could. She was rather unaware of her surroundings, a fact that only became clear to her when she collided with a wall, falling backward onto the floor]

Ow- Jeez, I hope no one saw that-

#entrbavelyn #hey hey #nat here!#[waves]

[Sejeln had emerged from his and Taire's closet. His companion was god knows where, and he figured he needed to get out, play the part of the engineer, or whatever he was supposed to be. He stopped short, seeing the girl tumble backwards onto the floor, and he walked slowly up to her.]

Ah, are- are you... alright? [Sejeln cringed. His English was horrible but it wascertainly not perfect. He offered his hand to her to help her up.]

[The other man’s voice shook - and wow, he was angry at Taire now? Angry at Taire for not wanting to see him die?] And you think that I would be able to remember, when I have forgotten all of our friends? [A flicker of the memory, old and faded, but it means nothing when he had not the history to connect to the image.] You think that the presence of dead men means something to me when there’s one living right in front of me - and am I supposed to write of how you expect death everyday? How you think that the tracers will come for you and I - and of course they will, because you haven’t a damned plan in your head?

[His words grew sharper, acerbic. Taire refused to look at Sejeln - surely his face would be murderous, seeing as how Taire refuses to be part of his death wish.] The revolution would die without you leading it, monsieur Sejeln - and at the rate that you seem to want to set yourself up as a martyr, it is already dead. You fight the battles to die, and what of the battles after? You are a fool if you think that only one battle won which ends with your death means a war won for the people of Ramura - will you shirk the responsibilities of the consequences and let history repeat itself? One government down, and another corrupt rises to take its place - it has happened before and it will happen again. You see, your precious revolution is useless, and will become even more so when you haven’t the life to be part of it!

I admire your courage. [Sejeln's voice was flat, tired.] You are honorable, you see. You speak your mind and you're often right, or at least not wrong. You believe in something... it may not be what I do all of the time, but you know how you feel. You're confident in that. [His voice suddenly turned more sarcastic] And you don't believe that I am a dead man walking? Please, continue to think that. Perhaps your sudden optimism will be enough then, to keep us from getting found, to halt my execution. What are you going to say? "I believe in Sejeln E" and that will be enough to make a tracer lower his gun? Because you're a bloody idiot!

Look. [Sejeln lowered his voice again, becoming sincere.] I really appreciate what you're doing. You've kept us alive thus far. And I won't give up, okay? I'll try not to act dead before I am. But I need to still to promise me, that if I am killed and you live, that you tell the story. It needs to be remembered.

Please.

#entrtaire

[And the moment broke - and Sejeln was saying something? What? He was even smiling at Taire - what had he missed? Then, as Sejeln kept on talking -]

No. [He says this fiercely.] Do not speak of carrying on without you - no. No. You brought me along on this harebrained trip, true - but I chose to stay with you and not on that planet of ice. Do not talk of self sacrifice when the battle has yet to be won, Apollo.

The day the tracers find us has yet to arrive - and if they come, it is not I who will be spared with your death. I - I would be -

[And he stops, because what he was about to say was not for the occasion. He turns away abruptly, looking at another corner of their hide out.]

[Sejeln knew that Taire was getting upset. He didn't like it- it wasn't supposed to be this way. But what he was supposed to do, he did not know.]

Do you not understand? [Sejeln's voice shook- it sounded full of rage even in his own ears, though that was not what he wanted- never.] There is no escaping it. If- when- we are caught, your life will be spared. Your memory will be erased, and I will be executed. It is that way for a reason, and you must trust me that it is alright. But I need you to do one thing for me, okay?

I need you to try and remember. As much as you can. In any way possible. Because there is a future. Ramura will survive, and we will the revolution. But someone has to tell the tale. All of it. And it won't be me. I won't be there to see the end.

But you will. You need to write it, Taire. Start now so you don't forget. Or run out of time, it may take a lifetime to tell our story. But that's all I ask of you. Make sure we're remembered, All of us.

#entrtaire

[Sejeln didn’t reply for the longest time and Taire was uncertain whether his request went unheard or unheeded. But then - perhaps it was through a miracle of some sort, or some former obligation Sejeln had to the man Taire had been - but then, the man acquiesced.

Taire let the words wash over him. It was not the memories he was looking for - memory removal was nothing but efficient, and Taire was not delusional. No, what he looked for was affirmation - that he was someone other than the useless piece of shit he actually was, the person before the wide gaping blank of that period.

And… it seemed too surreal, yet not. The names rang no bells - and his would ring none in their minds too, he suspected (dead or worse) but he felt a pang of grief for friends he made but were lost like a sheet of paper to the wind. A mention of dreams - but Taire had not dreamt for many years, choosing to stamp down memories of his family with a bottle of wine; his escape. He did not know if he would be able to brave a night truly sober. Even so - the surreal part was the adjective loyal, an adjective applied to him by Sejeln himself. Taire knew well he had little of the quality towards his family - but then again, when the loyalty was to someone like Sejeln… That, in itself, held the grain of truth.]

Have you not seen yourself, Apollo? Any citizen would follow you and your ideals - you are the one holding up the candle in the dark of our society, and the oppressed flock to you for hope of a better day. One man cannot be a revolution; but he can inspire - only, of course, if the citizens were not shackled by fear, want and societal pressures. [His mouth flows more easily now - these words tastes familiar in his mouth, as if he had formed them a thousand times before.] But you give them hope, something to believe in - hope for a better future, the end of the regime, a better life. How could any man resist what he wants, and even more so what he needs?

I am loyal - it is a mockery of sorts, to talk of loyalty when I have never known myself to have any - but I was loyal to you, and that I could believe. [Where were all these words coming from? Taire did not dare to stop speaking, for in case… In case…] But even so, I still can swear my allegiance now, when it is only you and I, stranded and far from our home planet - I can swear my loyalty to you.

[And something hits him, sharp and bright - a memory of sorts, of a small cafe lit up by the natural sun outside; a small water ring on which his mug was placed and removed and placed again; a group of people, a group of comrades, friends.]

[He breathed, shocked for a moment, hanging in that small shard of his shattered mind.] Oh.

#[distant sounds of carry on my wayward son playing]#yes sephr is ferre #and tuf is courf #entrtaire

[Sejeln shook his head then, a small laugh escaping his lips.] I can only hope that my words bring hope, as you say. I suppose I can ask no more than that. [He sighed lightly.] Maybe one day we'll return to help those who are still living in poverty back home. But we can't. Not for a long time.

[Sejeln smiled slightly at Taire.] I wish I could tell you more, but stories can't replace memories. You know that. There's no way to get them back... But you've gotten on okay so far.[He shrugged.] You shouldn't have to be like me, Taire. Hunted. It's not fair. The tracers will find us one day, soon, and I'll be executed. With any luck, they'll believe that you have no memory of the revolution, and spare your life.

There is no hope for me, Taire. But there is for you. There is still hope. You have to carry on.

They’d give each other presents, and make merry. A man called Santa Claus was involved at some point. [He cannot remember the pictures, however, only facts.]

If only I could know of my past memories. [He did not turn to look at Sejeln, but he did keep sight of the man through the corner of his eye.] That would be even more impressive, I wager.

[He hummed another few broken chords - whatever the masses were singing out there, he mimicked.] Then again, I only learnt so that I could have another culture to look to instead of our own. Terrans undeniably have flaws undescribed in the books that we have, but flaws nonetheless.

[A thought struck him - but no. Surely not. In Ramuran etiquette it would be considered intimate, but still… he wanted. What did he have to lose?] Would you tell me about myself, about what I did? [This time, he stared straight, not wanting to look at Sejeln’s face, at the possible refusal, the rejection.] I would understand your refusal, but nonetheless - I wish to know of the man I was.

#entrtaire #yay look I finally replied yeee

[For a long time after Taire voiced his request, Sejeln was quiet. The request his companion made was.... not unreasonable, but certainly not an easy one. Sejeln mulled it over for a few minutes, before sighing slightly.] Listen, Taire. There's a lot of history there. Too much to tell you all. I can try, I suppose. But it won't replace lost memories. Nothing can do that.

You are- were- an artist. A painter. You loved it. You- [Sejeln broke off.] That was your escape. That and drinking...but you knew that. [He laughed slightly, ushering to the bottle.]

When it came to the revolution, you never really wanted a part of it. To be honest, I don't know why you stayed. You were always so cynical. Not unlike now, I suppose. But still, you came to our meetings, even if it was just to sit in the back of the cafe and made sarcastic comments. Always drove me and Sephr up the walls. Tuf not so much. He always liked you. And Kaivail, and Lemmath... of course, they're all gone now. Dead, or worse.

And yet, Taire, for some reason, you were the only one who stuck through the whole way. Some died, others didn't return even after their memories were wiped. I think they still had nightmares. I think we remember things in dreams we can't remember in the waking hours. You stayed with me through the whole thing, every battle, and made it out alive. That said, you slept through half of them. But you were the only one besides me whose memory wasn't gone, yet you were the one who stayed. [Sejeln searched his face, eyes wide.] Such loyalty that I wouldn't have expected from you. [He smiled.] And I am grateful.

[They still have their hidey-hole, surprisingly not discovered. Taire had been able to swipe a few cards to press into the machines (which produced food, wow, how did that work?) and took great lengths to convince Sejeln that if it hadn’t been truly necessary, he would not have stolen them. Even so, it’s obvious that the man was tense - they had no idea where the ship was going, and Taire was certain Sejeln didn’t have a plan.

Or if he did, he wasn’t telling Taire.]

It’s Christmas. [He hummed a few chords of a common Ramuran folk song.] Terrans celebrate this time of the year as some sort of… holiday, I suppose. Of the birth of an important person.

[It definitely explained the tinsel and red and green all over the ship. Taire is thankful that his knowledge is still there, even if the other memories are not.]