don't let me remember

It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song. You were always singing along It was so easy and the words so sweet You can't remember You try to feel the beat

[marleyinthesky-blog]

I’m waiting til just before sunrise,  we’ll be able to see some of the planets align in the sky. 

[eramsay]

That would explain why you woke me up for once.

[islarafferty]

We have yet to be ready for a storm. A storm of any kind would catch us all off guard. Or at the least, catch me off guard. I’ve read anxiety isn’t a fun state to be in. I don’t think mine is constant but I’m nervous most of the time.

[eramsay]

You’re lucky. Constant anxiety is like when you feel like you’ve forgotten to do something and now that you haven’t done it, something is going to go horribly wrong. That’s my life from sun up to sun down.

[marleyinthesky-blog]

I haven’t even gotten to the or.

[eramsay]

Okay so what’s the “or”?

[marleyinthesky-blog]

Guess it depends on what you’re in the mood for. We could watch a movie. I could get us something to eat from Pete’s Or…

[eramsay]

I have to admit, I’m liking the sound of this “or”.

[islarafferty]

Restless?

Unable to rest as a result of anxiety or boredom. So are you anxious about something, Evan, or bored because you’re not working?

[eramsay]

Anxiety is a constant state of being for me. But I’m not bored. It feels more like that static in the air before a storm. Only I don’t think it’s a storm we’re ready for. Or it’s just my natural pessimism. 

[cadencebishop-deactivated201512]

Cadence nodded softly at his words and pulled her hand away. It was obvious from his sudden subject change that he wasn’t comfortable talking about this. And to be honest, she wasn’t either. Speaking of loss brought back memories of her mother and even the very thought of her almost brought her to tears. 

Giving a small (and hopefully unnoticeable) sniff, she looked away and blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. Putting a smile on her face, Cadence forced herself to think of happier things and decided to follow Evan’s lead and speak of other things.

“No reason really. Some curiosity, but mainly just a need for fresh air.”

[eramsay]

There are better places you could have gone for that. Ones that don’t involve having the Hub watching you for getting too close to the line. Security’s gotten pretty tight since everything that’s happened.

[cadencebishop-deactivated201512]

“It– It gets easier. I know it sounds stupid and cliche but it does. *Cadence gives a small sad smile* The people you care about don’t really leave you. You have your memories of them and how they affected you is still there. You just– you try to focus on that. 

Loosing someone you care about… you’ll never be used to it. No matter what happens to you, it will effect you dramatically.”

*She puts a hand on Evan’s shoulder* "I’m so sorry, Evan.”

[eramsay]

He wanted to pull away from the touch. It wasn’t normal to him and he liked it better when the colony avoided the weird guy with night terrors. His fear wasn’t from just losing Kenneth. It was the fear that it could happen to any of them. Including Marlowe. It had been eating at him for a month straight and most nights he couldn’t even bear to lay next to her in bed. But that was a conversation he’d need to have with her, not Cadence. So instead he nodded. “Thanks. So what are you doing out here so close to the perimeter?”

[cadencebishop-deactivated201512]

“Oh. That’s understandable. *long pause* Did you know him?”

[eramsay]

Yeah, he... I knew him pretty well. He helped me a lot with my issues. Never was one for seeing Henry. It’s only been a month and some days I expect to see him coming around the corner starting conversations with anyone who will stop to say hi. You’d think after years of this, we’d be used to change.

[cadencebishop-deactivated201512]

“It’s alright. I’m terrible with names too and I’ve been here just as long.”

“Are– are you alright?”

[eramsay]

I’m fine, just... sleeping hasn’t been coming easy since everything with Kenneth. 

[cadencebishop-deactivated201512]

“Close. It’s Cadence. And um, you’re Evan?”

[eramsay]

Cadence, sorry. Six years and I’m still horrible with names. Yeah, yeah, I’m Evan. At least I think I am most days...

[cadencebishop-deactivated201512]

“Oh um… hello.”

[eramsay]

Oh, hey. Um, Catherine, right?

[cadencebishop-deactivated201512]

*hums softly to herself*

[eramsay]

[marleyinthesky-blog]

I didn’t say you had to relax alone. 

I have some. That doesn’t count, going to keep an eye on the training is almost training. I’m not letting you out of my sight. 

[eramsay]

Well I’m up for suggestions.

[stargazermueller-deactivated202]

I’d probably get Star Wars or Gravity or something.

[eramsay]

I would say ask Mercer but from what I hear, he isn’t really leaving his office since... Kenneth.

[stargazermueller-deactivated202]

Why is Star Wars so popular?

I was expecting some documentary on the beauty of space.

[eramsay]

I’m sure if you asked they could keep an eye out for star stuff.

[marleyinthesky-blog]

Well, see, there’s a little thing called relaxing, I think it might do you some good. Though you are stubborn and will probably say no to that, won’t you? You have, yes.

[eramsay]

Relaxing leads to thinking and thinking leads to.... yeah. 

Any other ideas about spending my time? I guess I could go to the training center and see how Meg is handling everything. 

[marleyinthesky-blog]

You’re not bored are you?

[eramsay]

I don’t think I could be bored if I tried. Just not sure what to do with myself. Have I told you today how beautiful you look?