Watching Remus Lupin Parts One and Two
Author’s Note: Hi everyone. This is my first published Harry Potter fic. It is mostly Wolfstar but also contains Remadora. I am so exceptionally proud of this fic; I wrote the entire ten pages in a couple of hours this afternoon, going at it nonstop and I honestly think it’s my favorite thing I’ve written so I am really proud that this will be my entrance to Harry Potter fanfic on Tumblr and Fanfiction.net.
It will be in increments of two parts each, but it’s already complete so updates will be regular. Please let me know what you think.
-Cassie
It started on September 1st, 1971, when Sirius boarded the Hogwarts Express for the first time, with that air of aristocracy about him and his dark curls neatly combed. His mother had forced him to do that, because, as she said, “Can’t have people thinking badly of us because you can’t manage to look decent for five seconds.” Sirius had dreamed of Hogwarts for years, if only because it meant that he would be out of the house for most of the year. He was looking out the window of the train, having boarded early, and feeling a little bit sad that he had to leave Regulus behind to deal with their parents all by himself. He glanced past his little brother and found his gray eyes trained on a boy in tattered robes, with golden hair that caught the sunlight and bags under his eyes and a large scar across his face. The boy looked to be about Sirius’ age, and he was with a kind-looking woman and a tall, lanky man. Sirius thought to himself that this boy looked so incredibly interesting, unlike any boy he’d ever met before.
When the same boy appeared in his train compartment and quietly introduced himself as Remus Lupin, Sirius couldn’t help but smile. Two others joined their compartment, but as they all journeyed together toward Hogwarts, Sirius found himself stealing glances at the boy with the golden hair and beautiful scar across his face.
When Sirius approached the stool on which the Sorting Hat rested, he felt a mix of dread and excitement inside him. He had so enjoyed the train ride with his new friends. James, Peter, and Remus. None of them had judged him, even when they found out he was a Black. He knew they easily could have, but they had been so accepting. Sirius hadn’t told them, but he was sure that the Sorting would be the end of their newfound friendship.
After all, Black children were Sorted into Slytherin.
Sirius knew better than to disappoint his mother, however much that deep part of him wanted to. So as he slipped the Sorting Hat over his head, he was mostly resigned to ending up in Slytherin. No matter how many bad things he heard about Slytherin house, and how much he hoped he wasn’t like that, he felt sure that was where he belonged. He was a Black, after all.
When the Sorting Hat shouted out “Gryffindor!” loudly to the entire Great Hall only seconds after being placed on his head, Sirius nearly fell off the stool. Never in his wildest dreams had he ended up in Gryffindor. When he lifted the hat off his head, leaving behind curls that were now messy and wild, the first thing he saw was the beaming smile of Remus Lupin, shining up at him from the Gryffindor table as they all cheered. Somehow, it eclipsed the angry hissing from the other side of the room by a long shot.
James was the one to tell him that they knew.
But Sirius was the one to go after Remus when he turned and ran after a shocked pause.
He found Remus curled up in a little corner behind a tapestry. His back was against the wall and his knees were drawn up to his chest. His head rested atop his arms, and Sirius could see him shaking.
In the time since his first day at Hogwarts, Sirius Black had already morphed from an aristocratic pureblood into a wild, adventurous, confident mess of a child who could find trouble as easily as most twelve-year-olds could breathe. ‘Trouble’ and ‘Sirius’ were nearly synonymous.
Now, though, he was all gentle touches and quiet mannerisms. Because with Remus, it was often a different story. Especially now.
“Remus, it’s okay,” Sirius said softly, kneeling beside his friend.
“No, it’s not okay, Sirius,” Remus sobbed, looking up at Sirius, his hazel eyes reflecting his terror and panic. “It isn’t okay at all. I was supposed to be careful, they told me over and over how I should keep quiet. My mum says that if I don’t keep quiet, I might never get to finish at Hogwarts and my dad says if I tell people, they won’t want to be my friend.” He seemed to be struggling to breathe, but somehow continued to talk anyway. “I haven’t had friends before and now you, and Peter, and James, you all know what a monster I am, so you won’t ever want to-”
“Monster?” Sirius repeated. “What do you mean, monster?” His seemingly genuine confusion stopped Remus in his tracks, and his warm hazel eyes met Sirius’ stormy gray ones, which somehow always looked kind and bright despite their gloomy color.
“I’m a werewolf,” Remus said.
“Well, yeah, but…I mean, you’re also a boy,” Sirius said with a shrug. “More times than not, actually. Way I see it, you’re mostly a boy, you’ve just got a…furry little problem.”
Remus supposed that Sirius’ description of his ailment was probably funny, but somehow, Remus didn’t quite get the humor at that moment. He stared at Sirius as if he were crazy.
“Are you mad?” Remus asked him. “You’re absolutely barking mad.”
Sirius grinned.
“I’m not a dog, Rem,” he laughed. “But you kind of are.”
“Wait,” Remus said, as it suddenly dawned on him what all of this meant. “You’re-you’re not going to tell all the other students so that I’ll get sent home?”
“No!” Sirius said, and it was his turn to look at his friend as if he’d lost his mind. “Merlin, Remus, why would we do that? You get us out of trouble with McGonagall. We kind of need you around.”
“And-and you’re not afraid of me?” Remus asked, his tone hushed. He avoided looking at Sirius, fearful of the answer he would receive. That is, until Sirius burst into raucous laughter. Remus’ head snapped up and he stared at Sirius in disbelief.
“Scared of you?” Sirius repeated. “Remus, come on. You’re a twelve-year-old boy who color-codes his woolen sweaters and has a specific quill for each subject. Nobody is scared of you.”
“Oh.” Remus felt close to tears again. He had been sure he was about to spend his last night at Hogwarts, or perhaps be sent home on the train immediately.
“Are you okay?” Sirius asked. Remus looked up at him and nodded slowly.
He thought he was okay, at least.
“Come on, then,” Sirius said, standing up and offering a hand to Remus. “Better get back before James and Peter worry themselves to death.”
Remus gave him a small smile.
“Thank you, Sirius,” he whispered, quietly, but not so quietly that the other boy didn’t hear him. Sirius wondered, as they walked back to the common room together, if Remus knew that Sirius had never had friends before, either.
