4, 16, 41
04. What was your muse doing when they heard about Harry’s death – and later Neville’s death and Harry’s resurrection? How did they react to the news? Did they attend either of the funerals or memorials?
She doesn’t remember where she was or what she was doing when she learned about Harry’s death. She vaguely remembers her father being the one who told her, but apart from that, there isn’t much that’s clear in her head regarding that time. She remember how she felt. Empty, in a way. Sadness often manifested that way within her, and since it was the first time Lucy had to grieve someone she knew (well? I don’t know the family dynamics yet but I picture Lucy having generally gotten along very well with the adults of the family and loving their serious™ discussions; but that’s another story) and it was… A lot. At the same time, she didn’t feel it was right for her to express too much grief, when she finally unfroze, because she knew it had to be a billion times worse for James, Albus and Lily, and that she couldn’t possibly understand what they were going through. Then again, she didn’t want to act like Harry’s death didn’t affect her, so she ended up isolating herself a lot after his death. She either really leaned on Molly II or her best friend (the best friend is going to be a wanted connection, just saying — and I’m saying one of them since I don’t know the dynamic between Molly II and Lucy yet, of course, and don’t want to like force my ideas and what not), and that person was probably the only one she full on sobbed/broke down in front of. The thing with Lucy is that she’s really sensitive and tends to react strongly to everything, and honestly cries easily, but with a death, a death of someone she admired, someone who was family, it was… Different.
Oof. Regarding Neville’s death… Her plot arc is legit that she disagreed with the resurrection, and like… She feels so fucking guilty she didn’t fight harder for what she believed in, aka that they should not be trying to fool death. So I feel like when she first learned about Neville’s death, she was angry. At herself, mostly, but also at everyone else involved in what had happened. She deeply regretted not arguing more than she did and not literally stopping them, but also… At first, she was also mad at the rest for not listening to her. It was weird because it was a jumble of emotions, but Lucy can sometimes feel like people don’t take her seriously for a variety of reasons (too soft, too young, too sensitive, too girly, too kind, too forgiving; the list goes on) and it was like… She was right. She was right and for the first time in her life she wished she wasn’t, but she was, and they should have listened to her. That was her first reaction. Then came the devastation. The sadness that felt like emptiness. The tears she hid when she had to face Dove and Fawn, though she found ways to make them know she’d be there for them if they needed her. For anything. She literally asked Dove if it was okay for her to attend Neville’s funeral, because she wanted her to be like, comfortable? That may not be the right word, but just… Not be surrounded by the wrong people at such a heavy moment? To be fair, Dove didn’t seem to care either way, but Lucy was like “I have been a decent human being, that is good.” Because honestly Lucy isn’t always the best in social situations. And I’m rambling and I don’t know where I’m going but she’s just…… So upset. Still. She feels guilty. She doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do or say. But she knows she wants to honour Headmaster Longbottom’s memory, even if it is in a small way.
She did attend both funerals/memorials. She sat in the middle row each time.
16. Who is the most important person in your muse’s life and why?
I sometimes go with Molly II when I play Lucy, but obviously that depends on the plotting that’s going to happen between me and the person who plays Molly! But no matter what, it’s definitely someone in her family OR her best friend (who I keep on mentioning as a wanted connection but like……… I am nothing if not not subtle). It could easily be her parents, to be honest, and I think that’s the most obvious choice. Lucy really loves and respects both her mother and her father, and though she did have a tiny rebellious phase in her second year (she tried to get a muggle tattoo……… she was NOT taken seriously ergoijeriogjergiej it’s kind of funny actually but yes), she’s always had a good relationship with her parents. I picture her feeling like they’ve never treated her like someone lesser or as an extension of themselves, as some parents can, but rather as an equal (with some limits, of course), and it probably led to her feeling respected and listened to. Which is like, super important for Lucy, because she often feels like people don’t take her seriously enough for a variety of reasons. Plus, she just really admires her parents as people in general. She’s very close to them, all in all, and yeah, they honestly might be the most important people in Lucy’s life at the moment?
41. Out of the seven deadly sins, which does your muse embody the most? What about the seven heavenly virtues?
This was tough because I feel like every sin fits Lucy in some ways and REALLY doesn’t fit her in other ways, but! I think I’m going to go with envy. Thing is, Lucy’s happy with what she has, but she’s ambitious and wants more. And when she sees people who have all she wants, she can’t help but feel envious. It’s not to the point where it hinders her own happiness, but I still feel like it is relevant when it comes to who she is. I think, sometimes, she feels bad about her envy, too. Like, she doesn’t enjoy feeling envious of people she loves, admires and/or respects, but she can’t help it. It’s like, she works so hard for everything, and maybe she’d still have those things even if she didn’t work that hard (which would never happen because it’s not in her nature), but sometimes it’s like… “Why can’t I have what they have?” And she reads a lot of muggle science magazines and what not, and has actually read a couple of things regarding psychology, so I do think she acknowledges that it’s not a good way of thinking, but even though she can acknowledge that, it’s still not easy to alter the way you think. And like, I feel like when she’s with close friends and things like that, it may sometimes come through that she feels this way about some people? I’m still developing how her envy manifests itself, to be honest, so that’ll probably be explored in a self-para or something like that eventually!
As for the virtues, I think Lucy definitely embodies kindness the most, but once again, it wasn’t an easy decision. The thing that comes up most often when I scavenge through the internets™ for information about this virtue is that it’s kindness for the sake of helping others, without expecting anything in return. And like… That’s Lucy. She doesn’t forget herself in the process of helping others, but she doesn’t do it for herself either; she does it for the other person. To her, helping someone in the hopes of being rewarded (whether it be literally or through reputation and what not) is not true help. It’s why she feels uncomfortable with muggles who do charity work and then talk about how it “changed” their lives, which she’s seen way too many times in muggle publications. She’s even written a long letter to a muggle magazine who said they were doing a profile on a country, but who only included articles from foreigners who went to that country to “help out”, and like ergoirjgoijeroijger. It was a ten pages long letter and she was thirteen years old at the time. But anyway! Yes, kindness. It just… Fits best, I think? Once again, I may explore that more in the future!
