there are days that just hit me so hard. so many things have changed and yet the pain of letting you go hasn't.

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@esotericandunchained
there are days that just hit me so hard. so many things have changed and yet the pain of letting you go hasn't.
i feel like losing myself again. but maybe, it’s better this time. to let go of myself completely might stop me from doing bad shit to my loved ones and myself again.
Some chud with an anime profile picture and hentai all over his page:
“There’s no attractive women in western animation! At least anime doesn’t get offended by beautiful women!!”
His profile picture:
*child’s face on enormously boobed body*
Western animation:
// long post cw
the signs as “negative” qualities
Aries: tries to do everything at once, doesn’t know when to stop and take care of themselves, bends over backwards for everyone even if someone did them dirty, has entirely too much on their plate
Taurus: idealistic, spends a lot of time trying to impress others, doesn’t like to apologize, eating is a coping mechanism or just addictive personalties in general, a tad codependent
Gemini: the most flip floppy people ever, what’s today’s mood?, never apologizes, in denial 90% of the time, their way is the highway, desperately needs a break, they have a hard time setting goals because their goals scare them
Cancer: the literal meaning of I’ll give you the shirt off my back, isolates themselves in fear of someone hurting them, wants to change but is scared of change, complains a lot but never takes advice people give them
Leo: no one takes them seriously because they feel they always have to portray themselves as the fun one, is actually really sad inside, honestly needs a hug, exhausted always, a crackhead
Virgo: can dish it but can’t take it, rushes everything, anxious, plans their future but forgets to live in the moment, sometimes ignores their friends because they have so much on their mind, talks about themselves a lot and sometimes forgets to ask the other person how they are
Libra: solves everyone’s problems but their own, is actually really sad and lonely, gets easily heartbroken but tries not to show it, will do anything to justify bad decisions, honestly just wants everyone to love them but doesn’t really love their self
Scorpio: easily set off, will give anyone the cold shoulder at any time even without reason, keeps a lot in, so observant that they often times find out things that hurt them, too many “what ifs” swirling in their heads, has trouble showing their true selves
Sagittarius: impatient, brash, commitment issues, body issues, doesn’t realize they don’t need to change for anyone, has a lot of different goals to a point where they get overwhelmed, just wants to disappear and do what they want without anyone questioning them
Capricorn: scared people won’t like them unless they’re at the top of their game 24/7, takes a LOT for them to talk about their feelings, secretly struggling, fake happy, needs a plan but doesn’t know what that plan is, confident but insecure at the same time, wants to be stable but sometimes wishes they could drop everyone’s expectations of them and live normally
Aquarius: gets heartbroken like 30 times a week, trust issues, can be unmotivated and disinterested, feels they have to adapt to every person they meet so they can be liked, doesn’t know how tap into their emotions despite being very intuitive, confused, expects little
Pisces: empathetic often to a point of no return, plays the victim, doesn’t know when to say no, cynical, hermit, is very impatient, trusts everyone too much, can be secretly very critical and judgmental, can only tolerate maybe ten minutes of social interaction, needs a lot of validation
the signs as “negative” qualities
Aries: tries to do everything at once, doesn’t know when to stop and take care of themselves, bends over backwards for everyone even if someone did them dirty, has entirely too much on their plate
Taurus: idealistic, spends a lot of time trying to impress others, doesn’t like to apologize, eating is a coping mechanism or just addictive personalties in general, a tad codependent
Gemini: the most flip floppy people ever, what’s today’s mood?, never apologizes, in denial 90% of the time, their way is the highway, desperately needs a break, they have a hard time setting goals because their goals scare them
Cancer: the literal meaning of I’ll give you the shirt off my back, isolates themselves in fear of someone hurting them, wants to change but is scared of change, complains a lot but never takes advice people give them
Leo: no one takes them seriously because they feel they always have to portray themselves as the fun one, is actually really sad inside, honestly needs a hug, exhausted always, a crackhead
Virgo: can dish it but can’t take it, rushes everything, anxious, plans their future but forgets to live in the moment, sometimes ignores their friends because they have so much on their mind, talks about themselves a lot and sometimes forgets to ask the other person how they are
Libra: solves everyone’s problems but their own, is actually really sad and lonely, gets easily heartbroken but tries not to show it, will do anything to justify bad decisions, honestly just wants everyone to love them but doesn’t really love their self
Scorpio: easily set off, will give anyone the cold shoulder at any time even without reason, keeps a lot in, so observant that they often times find out things that hurt them, too many “what ifs” swirling in their heads, has trouble showing their true selves
Sagittarius: impatient, brash, commitment issues, body issues, doesn’t realize they don’t need to change for anyone, has a lot of different goals to a point where they get overwhelmed, just wants to disappear and do what they want without anyone questioning them
Capricorn: scared people won’t like them unless they’re at the top of their game 24/7, takes a LOT for them to talk about their feelings, secretly struggling, fake happy, needs a plan but doesn’t know what that plan is, confident but insecure at the same time, wants to be stable but sometimes wishes they could drop everyone’s expectations of them and live normally
Aquarius: gets heartbroken like 30 times a week, trust issues, can be unmotivated and disinterested, feels they have to adapt to every person they meet so they can be liked, doesn’t know how tap into their emotions despite being very intuitive, confused, expects little
Pisces: empathetic often to a point of no return, plays the victim, doesn’t know when to say no, cynical, hermit, is very impatient, trusts everyone too much, can be secretly very critical and judgmental, can only tolerate maybe ten minutes of social interaction, needs a lot of validation
Ibig sabihin ba nito na ako 'yung maling tao para sa kanya?
nakakapagod maging masama
011619 0314AM
Why do I feel so alone at this hour? Why do I feel lonely these past few days? Maybe it probably hit me, no, maybe it hit you, that you can finally be yourself and be happy without me as your company, or maybe just plainly without me. I am happy that you found yourself. But why do I feel left out and kicked around to some curb like I don't serve a purpose anymore? I really don't know anymore.
Bakit parang di ako masaya..........
Simon: Did you know?
Emily: I knew you had a secret. But when you were little you were so carefree. But these last few years more and more it’s almost like I can feel you holding your breath. I wanted to ask you about it, but I didn’t want to pry. Maybe I made a mistake.
Simon: No. No mom, you didn’t make a mistake.
Emily: Being gay is your thing. There are parts of it you have to go through alone. I hate that. As soon as you came out you said, “Mom, I’m still me.” I need you to hear this: You are still you, Simon. You are still the same son who I love to tease and who your father depends on for just about everything. And your the same brother who always compliments his sister on her food, even when it sucks. You get to exhale now, Simon. You get to be more you than you have been in, in a very long time. You deserve everything you want.
Hope I can here this more often since I'm slipping away from myself each day.
TAKE ME TO HER ARMS
I miss you, Alyanna.
I always say that to you because I do. We may see each other every day but I feel as if our time is not enough as my arms long for your body, my eyes wander for your lips, and your scent I want to linger all through the night we’re not sharing. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining for I am so blessed to see you and welcome each day with you. All I want to say is that I am looking forward to have you in my arms each day, every night and day, until we’re old and grey.
I won’t say that I can’t wait til it happens, because I can. And I will.
EVERYDAY
20170715; 0454PM
It's been a while since I told you this That I'm thankful for all the sacrifices you give For all the love and support amidst my fits I thank God because He gave me you A woman that is my best friend and my lover and my better half Thank you for everything and I pray that I can be the right amount of "solb" if not perfect
This day I remind myself instead of you, how beautiful it is to become one with you.
!!!
Nabubullshitan ako kapag sinasabing “ganyan talaga, magtiis ka nalang.”
Yes, I know I should persevere and sacrifice in life pero that’s different from being passive nalang. I hate when people control my feelings and tell me what to do. Ikaw ba yung nasa position ko para sabihin yung nararamdaman at dapat kong maramdaman? We have different priorities at priority ko yung mga magulang at mga kapatid ko at lahat ng mahal ko sa buhay. I feel this angst because I badly need time with them. And in the first place, dapat bang laging nagbibigay? How can people be inspired na gawin nila ang gusto nila kung palaging “ganyan talaga, magtiis ka nalang.”
Sana naman hindi lang laging ganyan. May compromise na tinatawag.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)