The kind of smashed where he couldn't tell left from right, where time blurred in booming bass and rowdy laughter and allowed life's troubles to slip away. Kian stumbled into the hallway, faint sounds of cheering and bad karaoke emanating from the room he'd just left. Kian didn't even know the people he was here with, a group of strangers he'd picked up somewhere between the second and fourth club.
Kian's first month back in South Korea and he'd already tossed a year's worth of rehab down the drain. Mom and dad would sure be proud. Ah well, the reason he came out was to forget them in the first place. Along with everything else in his life that was going to shit. Kian lurched, suddenly feeling queasy. How much had he drank again? It was so quiet. Too quiet. It left him with his thoughts and he didn't like that. An irrational frustration swept through him, a long suppressed anger cloying his chest, threatening to explode. Suddenly Kian caught sight of someone in the distance.
Ah, right. He remembered why he was here, now.
âHey, busboy!â he yelled at the dark silhouette, waving curtly. He couldn't exactly make out a uniform, but he didn't care. A subconscious part of him wanted to pick a fight. âWeâre out of booze. Be a good boy and fetch us more, yeah?â
The hospital was unusually quiet tonight, the chaotic halls so still that Kian could hear the hum of the machines that worked to keep his friend alive. Everyone was off celebrating Chuseok with their loved ones. Well, everyone except Kian. His family was all the way in Canada... and even if they weren't, his current situation wouldn't change. For two days now his greeting sat unread in his parents' chat. Kian sighed and pocketed his phone.
"Hey Robin," Kian turned his attention to his dear friend who was lying unconscious on the hospital bed. "Can't believe you're all alone on Chuseok. Looks like your brother and parents left you here all alone, huh?" He teased. "Well fear not, I'm here. Cause I'm the best bro there is!" Kian took the washcloth by the bedside and began wiping Robin's face gently. "Ya know, if someone told me I'd be this diligent a year ago, I'd laugh in their face. And probably kick their ass too." Spending most of his free time at the hospital, changing and wiping his friend down when the nurses were too overworked to properly care for their neglected patients... rambling and complaining and shit talking his boring life 24/7 because Kian knew Robin was still in there somewhere, lost in that big brain of his, and he needed entertainment because otherwise he would die of boredom. Even Kian was surprised by how much he had grown. But it was natural, wasn't it? He just didn't want to miss the moment Robin finally opened his eyes.
For Kian, today was just like any other day. He drove to the hospital as soon as he was free. Ranted and raved about his asshole roommate and back-busting schedule. After the sun set, his rambling somehow transitioned into reminiscing about their past. The good old days. Kian wished he had a time machine so he could go back and undo all his regrets.
"Remember when you caught me smoking outside the gymnasium--man, the look on your face. I really thought I was a dead man. I mean, we both know you can't do shit to me strength wise. But somehow I was still scared."
"...I turned my life around because of you, you know?" He confessed. "If it wasn't for you... who knows where I'd be. Maybe dead in a ditch somewhere. I know youâll deny it, but its true. I owe you my life.â Kian sighed and ran his hand down his face.
âSo whyâd you have to go and get yourself into this state while I was gone, huh?" Anger and grief crept into Kian's voice. He tried to stay positive for Robin, but Kian always felt the most vulnerable in the dead of night, the most out of control. "Well, Iâm back now, I came back for you, so why donât you wake up?â
Out of the corner of his eyes, Robinâs finger twitched. Kianâs eyes widened into saucers. Was he seeing things? He glanced up and his stomach dropped. Tear tracks rolled down Robin's eyes. Kian cursed and quickly wiped Robinâs tears away. Regret and self-loathing took root in his heart. His friend was already in this state. How could he add to his torment?
âHey, I was kidding, okay? I didnât mean what I said. I did mean the 'wake up' part, though. If you donât wake up Iâm gonna kick you ass.âÂ
Suddenly Kian noticed a noise behind him. He turned around only to be greeted by the very same face of the man who was teetering on the edge between life and death.
"Rowon?" As soon as he noticed the other man, a conflicting sense of tension and soothing familiarity washed over him. He used to differentiate the twins so easily back in the day. Ironically nowadays when it should have been impossible to mistake one for the other, Kian was finding it harder and harder to tell them apart. âWhat are you doing here? Whereâs auntie and uncle? Arenât you celebrating Chuseok with them?â
on record, theyâre a family of four. not exactly picture perfect. but not exactly dysfunctional either. just - normal.
father. mother. brother. rowon.
they used to celebrate chuseok together over homemade songpyeon and jeon, courtesy of brother dearest. father was often late, too much work. mother had the appetite of a people-pleaser and was usually right on time. and rowon - well, rowon came and went.
father. mother. brother. rowon.
the incident: two birds, one stone.
father. mother. brother. rowon.
the only picture that exists of them dates back to 2000. father held brother. mother held the other. they werenât expecting two, but they welcomed both with warmth. how, then, did their home become so cold? the concept of family - the idea of blood - none of them knew what it meant, but they knew how to mimic it.
father.
mother.
kian.
rowon slows to a stop in front of his brotherâs room. i owe you my life, comes from within. his hand tightens around the doorknob. he recognizes that voice all too well; itâs been a constant presence over the last several years. i came back for you. his skin crawls. his grip begins to shake. thereâs a dagger in his chest. he knows that he can take it by the handle, take it out, toss it away, and heâd be okay - but he doesnât do that, no. he takes it by the handle, drives it in deeper, and lets himself feel. this is his jealousy: a piercing pain, a wound, and a want.
and oh, he wants.
kian was robinâs best friend. kian was robinâs lifeline. the first time rowon had mentioned his name, robin - thought to be unresponsive - suddenly started to cry. he cried when rowon read kianâs letters from canada to him. he cried when rowon took pen to paper and wrote a response, signed robin. he cried and he cried and he cried - and the more he did, the more -
his knuckles regain their color.
rowon intrudes.
âsorry, didnât mean to interrupt.â he closes the door behind him and makes his way over to kianâs side. âdonât worry, i didnât catch much. just the kick your ass part that i also want in on. hear that, robin? if you donât wake up soon, weâre both kicking your ass.â he leans down next to his brotherâs face, his gaze drawn to the already dim light seeping from a pair of identical eyes. robin stares back, unblinking. âyou made him cry.â rowon lets what sounds like an accusation linger for a second longer before straightening up and offering kian a smile. âmustâve really missed you. we came by yesterday to celebrate with him, but he didnât shed a single tear for us, and weâre his family. or maybe heâs just tired of seeing us all the time. you know how overbearing my mom can get.â he motions at the washcloth in kianâs hand. âthanks for taking care of him. heâs lucky to have you.â
the knife twists.
it guts, and it gouges.
he wants him. he wants him. he fucking wants him. ( not in that way, never in that way. ) he wants him because kian - because kian is robinâs best friend. because kian is robinâs lifeline. because kian is robinâs.
âare you going back for christmas? if not, you should join us. my parents have been asking about you. they like you a lot. pear?â he holds out a tupperware of pear halves. âiâm sure robin wouldnât mind sharing.â not that robinâs capable of having any - but hey, itâs the thought that counts.
"Nonsense, Rowon. You didn't interrupt anything." He was Robin's family, after all. His cherished little brother. Robin wasn't big on displays of affection, but even Kian could see how much he doted on Robin. Kian recalled the quiet nights when Robin confided in him, when the streets were empty and it felt safe to crawl out of oneâs shell. It was silly, but Kian used to feel annoyed at Rowon on Robinâs behalf. After all, his brother stressed over him so much, and Rowon didnât seem to even realize it. To be fair, Robin wasnât exactly one to wear his heart on his sleeve. But all those thoughts seemed trivial now, in light of everything that happened. Kian slung his arm around Rowonâs shoulder and pulled him into a warm hug. âYou hear that, Robin? You better be scared for the ass pummeling thatâs aboutta come your way.âÂ
However, the color slowly drained from Kian's face as he processed Rowon's next words.
You made him cry.
Such simple words, yet they sliced through him like hot knife through butter, amplifying the guilt that weighed heavy in his chest. Rowon had said something similar when they first reunited over a year ago; when Kian had mistaken his face for Robinâs.Â
Robin got into a fight, and he was in a coma now.Â
Kian wasnât here.Â
Robin was in this state because Kian wasnât here to protect him.Â
Some best friend he was, huh? Robin was on life support and Kian was an ocean away having drunk himself into rehab.
Kian cleared his throat and willed the intrusive thoughts away. There was no point wallowing in self pity. The best he could do now was stay by Robin's side and support his family the best way he could. Kian was used to stuffing his emotions away, not confronting them.
"Hey. He didn't cry because seeing you guys made him happy. He used to dote on you so much, you know? He loved his family the most. Wouldâve moved mountains for you." Admiration filled Kian's voice without him realizing it. Robin's caring and responsible nature was what won Kian's respect in the first place. Before Robin, Kian used to think winning fights and acting tough was what made you a man.
are you going back for christmas? if not, you should join us.
"You know what, I might just take you up on that offer." It had been a while since he'd seen Mr. and Mrs Han. Truth be told, he missed them too. "Does mrs Han still nag you about eating breakfast?" Kian snickered, recalling how the older woman scolded him the way his own mother never did.Â
Kian accepted Rowon's pear gratefully, never one to turn down food. With his mouth full, he asked, âBy the way, you still havenât answered my question. Why aren't you celebrating Chuseok with your family? Tired of the old folks and decided to play hookey with us? I donât blame you. Itâs way more fun here.â
It wasnât uncommon for girls to stare at him. He was hot and he carried himself like he knew it. Exposed biceps, a lazy smile, sauntering everywhere, the works. But this felt different. For a second he almost thought it was one of his old enemies, back for revenge now that Kian was back in Korea after six years. Lord knows he left a messy trail back in the glory days.
But he couldnât be more wrong. Maybe it was the way she was dressed, but she seemed like a soft light amidst a lifeless grey backdrop. A single beacon among the shifting crowd. For a moment she almost looked ethereal, like smoke that could vanish with too strong a breeze. Kian couldn't pull his eyes away. His feet were moving before he knew it.Â
âHey pretty lady,â He leaned forward and wore his best charming smile. God, she was so short. He almost towered over her. âYou look familiar⌠have we met before?â His eyes widened as he blurted out his thoughts without a filter. âDonât tell me youâre one of my exes? Cause I mustâve fucked up bad if I fumbled someone like you.â
Still, Junyi felt her heart race with joy, her lips curving in a radiant smile for her kind-eyed ghost. Junghee. She called out his name, but only in her mind out of fear that the sound of her voice could frighten the spirit into leaving. Or rip a hole in this realistic-feeling illusion that she must have weaved for herself. My love.
He stepped towards her, and soon they shall meet each other halfway. The way they were supposed to after completing this challenge her family had set before them.
Unfortunately, the man had to open his mouth.
Disappointment sank her heart, and her smile faded. For a moment, she almost felt angry with this stranger for daring to look like Junghee - he reminded her of what she had lost. "You look like someone I knew too." Junyi sighed softly, lowering her eyes against the ache of longing in her chest. "But you cannot be him." Death drew a line that she could not cross.
"Anyway," she dipped her head in a slight bow - it was an apology for interrupting whatever business he was up to prior to this conversation and for harboring a moment of resentment against him when he deserved none. "I bid you farewell."
Kianâs smile slid from his face along with his confidence. He had expected shy flirtation, or at least some sort of muted curiosityâ but what he faced was a sharp gaze bubbling with animosity as if he was an asshole ex who left her out to dry.Â
You look like someone I knew too. Shit. Was she actually one of his exes that he totally blanked on? Not likely, as Kian could count on one hand the number of actual relationships he had⌠Unless she was a fling that he inevitably ghosted after getting black out drunk the night before, waking up with a brain splitting hangover the next morning. Which would be the worst case scenario as Kian would have to kick himself in the balls for letting such a baddie slip from his grasp. By the time he had come to, the girl was gone and fast disappearing into the horizon.Â
âWait, hold on!â Kian caught up to her, keeping a light jogging pace beside the girl. âIâm really sorry if I offended you. My memory is total shitâI failed calculus four times, haha.â He cleared his throat. âPoint is, have we actually met before?â
He noticed her attire, and his face lit up in realization. âAre you a trainee at legacy? No way, me too!â See, they already had so much in common. This was surely a sign that they were meant to be. Or at least, extremely compatible. And this way it was easier for him to stalk her--er, find her in the future. âAre you on your way to a class?â Clearly the suave approach did not work, so Kian activated his next best weapon: his puppy eyes. âLet me buy you a drink. Itâs the least I could do for my transgression.â
The hospital was unusually quiet tonight, the chaotic halls so still that Kian could hear the hum of the machines that worked to keep his friend alive. Everyone was off celebrating Chuseok with their loved ones. Well, everyone except Kian. His family was all the way in Canada... and even if they weren't, his current situation wouldn't change. For two days now his greeting sat unread in his parents' chat. Kian sighed and pocketed his phone.
"Hey Robin," Kian turned his attention to his dear friend who was lying unconscious on the hospital bed. "Can't believe you're all alone on Chuseok. Looks like your brother and parents left you here all alone, huh?" He teased. "Well fear not, I'm here. Cause I'm the best bro there is!" Kian took the washcloth by the bedside and began wiping Robin's face gently. "Ya know, if someone told me I'd be this diligent a year ago, I'd laugh in their face. And probably kick their ass too." Spending most of his free time at the hospital, changing and wiping his friend down when the nurses were too overworked to properly care for their neglected patients... rambling and complaining and shit talking his boring life 24/7 because Kian knew Robin was still in there somewhere, lost in that big brain of his, and he needed entertainment because otherwise he would die of boredom. Even Kian was surprised by how much he had grown. But it was natural, wasn't it? He just didn't want to miss the moment Robin finally opened his eyes.
For Kian, today was just like any other day. He drove to the hospital as soon as he was free. Ranted and raved about his asshole roommate and back-busting schedule. After the sun set, his rambling somehow transitioned into reminiscing about their past. The good old days. Kian wished he had a time machine so he could go back and undo all his regrets.
"Remember when you caught me smoking outside the gymnasium--man, the look on your face. I really thought I was a dead man. I mean, we both know you can't do shit to me strength wise. But somehow I was still scared."
"...I turned my life around because of you, you know?" He confessed. "If it wasn't for you... who knows where I'd be. Maybe dead in a ditch somewhere. I know youâll deny it, but its true. I owe you my life.â Kian sighed and ran his hand down his face.
âSo whyâd you have to go and get yourself into this state while I was gone, huh?" Anger and grief crept into Kian's voice. He tried to stay positive for Robin, but Kian always felt the most vulnerable in the dead of night, the most out of control. "Well, Iâm back now, I came back for you, so why donât you wake up?â
Out of the corner of his eyes, Robinâs finger twitched. Kianâs eyes widened into saucers. Was he seeing things? He glanced up and his stomach dropped. Tear tracks rolled down Robin's eyes. Kian cursed and quickly wiped Robinâs tears away. Regret and self-loathing took root in his heart. His friend was already in this state. How could he add to his torment?
âHey, I was kidding, okay? I didnât mean what I said. I did mean the 'wake up' part, though. If you donât wake up Iâm gonna kick you ass.âÂ
Suddenly Kian noticed a noise behind him. He turned around only to be greeted by the very same face of the man who was teetering on the edge between life and death.
"Rowon?" As soon as he noticed the other man, a conflicting sense of tension and soothing familiarity washed over him. He used to differentiate the twins so easily back in the day. Ironically nowadays when it should have been impossible to mistake one for the other, Kian was finding it harder and harder to tell them apart. âWhat are you doing here? Whereâs auntie and uncle? Arenât you celebrating Chuseok with them?â
It wasnât uncommon for girls to stare at him. He was hot and he carried himself like he knew it. Exposed biceps, a lazy smile, sauntering everywhere, the works. But this felt different. For a second he almost thought it was one of his old enemies, back for revenge now that Kian was back in Korea after six years. Lord knows he left a messy trail back in the glory days.
But he couldnât be more wrong. Maybe it was the way she was dressed, but she seemed like a soft light amidst a lifeless grey backdrop. A single beacon among the shifting crowd. For a moment she almost looked ethereal, like smoke that could vanish with too strong a breeze. Kian couldn't pull his eyes away. His feet were moving before he knew it.Â
âHey pretty lady,â He leaned forward and wore his best charming smile. God, she was so short. He almost towered over her. âYou look familiar⌠have we met before?â His eyes widened as he blurted out his thoughts without a filter. âDonât tell me youâre one of my exes? Cause I mustâve fucked up bad if I fumbled someone like you.â
My name is Lychee and this is my muse Kian. Please see his about page here for a brief overview. tldr he's a big himbo who's wayyy too confident in himself (lol) and highkey a loud fratboy but what he lacks in tact, he makes up for in sincerity and loyalty.
Thank you all for the warm welcomes!! I apologize if I'm really slow replying to your messages, I'm still wrapping my head around the events etc. I'm new to rp so please bear with me :) Plot page coming soon!
