“Bitch, you’re my soulmate”

she/her-ADULT

[hallucin8]

“I don’t trust these hoes”

- me referring to the government

[ajjiwannabeyourdog2]

apologist? not necessarily. explainer? perhaps. understander? intimately. enjoyer? greatly. sexualizer? frequently,

[noahwhyle]

NOAH WYLE in ER S05E11 (1999) and THE PITT S01E14 (2025)

#whatever you say handsome

[trippinsorrows]

with all due respect, if you're going to binge read one of my fics, like every chapter, or like every chapter of several different works, and don't leave any sort of feedback, even an emoji.....id rather you just ghost read 🥲

[darkangel-madness]

A 1000x this like if you're just going to spam like fics and not leave any feedback, just don't interact at all. It gives the ick.

[trippinsorrows]

!!!!!!!!!

and that's really the part that, personally, has been irking me. the spam likes that clog up my notifications to where i stay missing things. like, i am so so grateful for people taking time out to read my works but to literally like every piece of content i've posted, filling my notifications for hours on end and then to say nothing....it's just irritating idk 🥲

and sadly, i've been contemplating blocking, too.

[euphoric-mem0ries]

Whole reason I just stopped uploading because why are 30 people liking and clearly reading but not even a reblog or like comment on the fic ??? Maybe it’s me being an elder-ish user of this site but like 10 years ago or so it was a MUST to always reblog with the tags filled of your thoughts or sending an ask. It was actually a requirement if you were going to reblog a fic. I don’t wanna blame it on anyone but shit definitely changed for the worst within the recent years like Covid era where randoms would join simply to spam like fis and read. New users think this site is like IG or Twitter where likes matter more than interaction and that’s not it. It’s slowly killing the site and writers passion 🙃🙃🙃🙃

[trippinsorrows]

omg! no! because as another elder/old head, it has been interesting, to say the least, to see the shift in writing on here. as you said, it really was the "norm" to reblog fics. even if it was just the reblog. at least you were supporting a writer by sharing their work. and most of those reblogs would contain beautiful feedback via the tags. i took a couple years off here for other reasons re: fandom, so i'm not sure if this new trend started around post covid, but i could see it. for sure.

and agreed. as someone who has been on this site damn near since the beginning, seeing the alarming migration from the almost default of "reblog" the art you consume rule to such startling discrepancies between likes and reblogs for fics is....jarring, to say the least.

and don't get me started on the overwhelming support for smut, which is fine!!! but like sooooo many beautifully, novel length and published book quality works get paid dust because it's not two people doing the nasty. that's probably been the most disheartening and discouraging thing for me to witness, and sadly, i know for a fact that's gone as far back as before covid. smh.

crazy to think how "lemons" were once the taboo of fics and now it's at the top of the pyramid.

[euphoric-mem0ries]

And that’s the biggest thing !! People used to always reblog !!! Liking was only for if you truly wanted to save it but reblogging was always a must, it was never a second thought. Neither was adding your thoughts on the post or in the tags. This is all we did just because it was a community and it was a way to support. Now you ask someone what they thought or if they liked and it’s crickets or they claim they liked it to “read later” yet never reblog it.

OR if you’re uploading a multi chapter fic the only comment you’ll ever get is “tag me for for the next part plz”…..girl no !!!! Just come back and reblog ??? Like all common courtesy has gone out the window and it’s so sad to see how what was once a supportive community is full of outside leechers, not to mention the risk of your hard earned work being posted on another site for people to mock you simply because they don’t like what you wrote.

The smut thing is them being porn addicts. Like there’s no other way to put it because they’re so beyond addicted it’s actually sad. The shit I’ve read in some fics is….wow lol. I know you said you don’t judge but I do lmao. Because why is every single chapter of a fic in here hella smut with no plot !!! That’s my personal biggest thing, smut is fine but at least give me plot !!! Give me characters and background and scenery !!!

We’re dead ass losing the recipes 😭😭😭😭

[beemovieerotica]

oh my god i got a ban warning from reddit admin for "threatening violence" against the fucking christopher columbus statue that trump just put up. stupid ass country. anyway someone should crash a plane into the statue

[trippinsorrows]

with all due respect, if you're going to binge read one of my fics, like every chapter, or like every chapter of several different works, and don't leave any sort of feedback, even an emoji.....id rather you just ghost read 🥲

[darkangel-madness]

A 1000x this like if you're just going to spam like fics and not leave any feedback, just don't interact at all. It gives the ick.

[trippinsorrows]

!!!!!!!!!

and that's really the part that, personally, has been irking me. the spam likes that clog up my notifications to where i stay missing things. like, i am so so grateful for people taking time out to read my works but to literally like every piece of content i've posted, filling my notifications for hours on end and then to say nothing....it's just irritating idk 🥲

and sadly, i've been contemplating blocking, too.

[euphoric-mem0ries]

Whole reason I just stopped uploading because why are 30 people liking and clearly reading but not even a reblog or like comment on the fic ??? Maybe it’s me being an elder-ish user of this site but like 10 years ago or so it was a MUST to always reblog with the tags filled of your thoughts or sending an ask. It was actually a requirement if you were going to reblog a fic. I don’t wanna blame it on anyone but shit definitely changed for the worst within the recent years like Covid era where randoms would join simply to spam like fis and read. New users think this site is like IG or Twitter where likes matter more than interaction and that’s not it. It’s slowly killing the site and writers passion 🙃🙃🙃🙃

[misscharlielulu]

Ten Songs on Repeat - Thankyou for the tag @fairybreadevangelist. I love these games.

I listen to music all day, everyday so this is hard. But looking at the songs I've had on repeat, its a mess of everything, just like me..... so please dont judge.

Silver Springs -Fleetwood Mac

Cherish - Madonna

Too Proud - Broods

Golden - Kingswood

Divine Fault Line - Angie McMahon

Independent Women pt 1 - Destiny's Child

Addicted to Love (cover version) - Chvrches

Love really hurts without you - Billy Ocean

Bloom Baby Bloom- Wolf Alice

You're so vain - Carly Simon

Absolutely no pressure tags - @cycat4077, @polkadotpenguin16 @euphoric-mem0ries @ameliasrinksideyaps @scarletstarletandthewanderthirst

[euphoric-mem0ries]

Ten songs on repeat, thanks for the tag @misscharlielulu

This is my shit and yes I’m all over the place in terms of taste lmao

1. I saw the light- Todd rundgren

2. Fast Car - Tracy Chapman

3. Human nature- Michael Jackson

4. Tyrant- Beyonce

5. Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby- cigarettes after sex

6. Pushing and Praying- Lizzie Mcalpine

7. American teenager- Ethel Cain

8. All these things that I’ve done- the killers

9. She will be loved- maroon 5

10. Sweet child O’ mine- Guns N’ Roses

Tagging: @silverfoxabbot , @expert-texpert , @loreofsarai and @trippinsorrows !!!!

[anxietyobsessedyetdepressed]

Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby

Word Count: 3K

Summary: You and Andrew have been officially together for a bit and he decides to finally ask you why you never touch him and fears you don't want him that way only to find out there's a bigger reason and it sends him down a spiral he works hard to come back from

Warnings: age gap (Pope is 40ish and reader is mid 20's) mentions of rape and sexual assault, victim blaming

AN: Fic is inspired by the song "Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby" by Cigarettes After Sex !! Finally my first Pope/Andrew fic !!! I've had this one in the works for a while and I'm so proud of it. Enjoy and let me know what you think ! Remember to comment and reblog 🖤

* I appreciate the likes but please remember if you’re liking to read later, please remember to give feedback ! It’s the smallest of things that us writers ask for. You could reblog with tags, comment or leave an ask, anything you feel comfortable with !! Feedback and support is what makes us write and post more

Dinner had gone cold twenty minutes ago. The pasta sat untouched on both of your plates while rain tapped softly against your condo windows. The only sound in the kitchen was the quiet clink of your boyfriend, Andrew, turning his fork over and over against the ceramic plate

You watched him carefully from across the table, he got like this sometimes. Quiet first, then distant and then somewhere dangerous inside his own head

“You don’t have to eat it if it sucks,” you said lightly, trying to pull him out of it “I definitely didn’t make it al dente like you usually like, I’m sorry”

His eyes lifted immediately “It’s good.”

“Okay.” you nodded

He rubbed at the scar on his knuckle unconsciously, a repetitive motion you had learned meant his OCD was flaring. Usually when he was stressed, overstimulated, or trying not to think about something. You knew he wanted to say something so you waited until he did

“Do you even like me ?”

The question hit so suddenly you almost choked on your water, “What ?”

His jaw tightened “You heard me.”

“Of course I like you.” you looked at him “What kind of fucking question is that Andrew ? Are you being serious right now ?”

“No, I mean actually like me.” he laughed once under his breath, humorless “Because sometimes I can’t tell if you’re just… comfortable with me.”

You stared at him confused “Where is this coming from ?”

He pushed his plate away abruptly “Four months.”

“What about four months ?” you whispered

“We’ve been together four months and every time I touch you for too long you tense up.” Andrew rasped out “Are you scared of me ? Do I scare you ? If-If I did I’m sorry, I am. I don’t mean to”

Your chest tightened instantly and you shook your head “No ! Oh god no, don’t say that...that’s not true at all”

He stood from the table and paced once through the kitchen “I try not to push you,” he said quickly, words starting to come faster “I know I’m older than you and I know I come with—” he gestured vaguely at himself “—all this shit. I know I’m not exactly easy to be with.”

“You are easy to be with.” you said immediately but he ignored that

“I can’t tell if you’re disgusted by me or scared of me or if you just…if you just hate me” Andrew murmured

“I don’t !” you said as you stood up from your chair “I don’t hate you !”

“Then why won’t you let me ever be…near you ?” he met your eyes

The room went still after that, there was no more anger or raised voices and somehow that made the feeling worse. Underneath the frustration was something bad, something that could easily change everything for the both of you. You could see it happening in real time now, his breathing was too shallow, his hands flexing repeatedly and thoughts moving too fast for him to control

You knew enough about him by now to recognize when his suspected BPD latched onto rejection and once it latched on, it tore him apart like no other

“I didn’t mean—” he started suddenly, running a hand through his auburn curls “Forget it. I shouldn’t have said it like that. It was fucked up, I’m sorry. I’m really fucking sorry”

“You deserve an answer.” you whispered

“No, because now you’re gonna feel cornered and then you’ll hate me for pushing and—”

“I don’t hate you Andrew, please quit saying that.”

His eyes snapped to yours immediately, almost desperate “Then tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

Your throat tightened painfully, you had spent years avoiding this conversation. Years pretending it sat far enough in the past to not matter but here you were years later trying to build a future with a man who was looking at you like he was already preparing himself to lose you

“I was raped when I was 15” you whispered lowly Andrew turned his head towards you and you swore you could see his eyes begin to water “What ?” he whispered “My older brother's friend, he was in college and I was about to enter my freshman year of high school” you looked at him “He was sleeping over and it was a Friday night, everyone was asleep except he and I. We were in the living room watching a movie and I went to bed and while I was asleep he came into my room and….and he raped me”

“What ? He…..No” he shook his head, his voice barely existing “No…no…not you”

You swallowed hard and blinked to avoid the moisture building up in your eyes “I never really dealt with it properly. I just learned how to avoid things that make me feel trapped or panicked.” you gave a tiny shrug “Sometimes physical stuff is harder than I want it to be.”

He stared at you like he couldn’t process the words, you waited and waited and then you watched the exact moment it sank in. His face was drained of color but somehow he straightened up his posture and looked in your eyes “Who.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a demand. You knew exactly where his mind was going and there was no way you’d ever let him handle anything like that for you, ever “No.”

“Who did it ?” Andrew rasped out, his voice frighteningly calm now, which was always worse than yelling “Just tell me…please”

You knew stories about him before you dated him, the things he’d done for his family. The extreme violence and the arrests. You remembered your friends and locals referring to him as Pope, a nickname he had told you he despised and only kept because his brothers refused to ever refer to him by his actual name

You knew his family was one to never cross but he had assured you time and time again he was done with that. There was no way you’d ever take him back to that kind of thing. The people who crossed him and his family regretted it, most ended up dead or missing somewhere. You knew the things he personally was capable of

He stepped away from the table entirely now, grabbing his jacket off the counter with shaking hands “Tell me his name.”

“Hey.” you walked over to his side and held his hands “No.”

“You-You said he was in college when you were a freshman, he was-he was an adult ? You were 15 ? Tell me.” Andrews voice shook “Remember, please remember”

“I don’t want to talk about him.” you moved your hands to caress his cheeks, attempting to ground him

“I do.” he nodded avoiding your eyes as his breathing was getting rougher

You could practically see the compulsive thoughts taking over him, fix it, hurt him, make it right, do something. It was going over and over in his brain and you desperately wanted to bring him back “Hey…look at me, please”

“If he’s still alive—”

“Stop.” you whispered “Just stop, please….forget I even said anything just stop”

“He hurt you.” he finally looked at you “He hurt you….he violated you”

“I know.”

“And nobody did anything ?” he exclaimed, his voice cracking at the end “No one did a damn thing ?”

You flinched slightly at the sudden sharpness in his voice and that made him freeze instantly. The anger vanished from his face, replaced immediately with horror “Oh my God” he dropped his jacket “I’m sorry. I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to raise my voice.”

“You didn’t yell.” you shook your head “Just…just surprised”

“But you flinched” his face twisted like the sight physically hurt him

Leaning your head on his chest you wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him tightly, looking up at him “Look at me.”

He couldn’t do it, he shook his head, his breathing continuing to speed up “I should’ve protected you.”

“You didn’t even know me Andrew” you murmured 

“I should’ve protected you.” he repeated

“You were not responsible for what happened to me when I was fifteen.”

“But somebody should’ve been”, his eyes were glassy now, frantic in a way that made your chest ache “You think I can sit here knowing somebody touched you like that?” he whispered “You think I can just eat dinner after hearing that ?”

“You have to.” you said softly 

“No.”

“Yes.”

He tried pulling away again but you tightened your hold on him, “Listen to me carefully,” you said softly 

He finally looked at you with glossy eyes and moved his hands to your face “You were a kid…you were a little girl…who hurts little girls like that ?”

“You going after someone isn’t going to undo what happened to me” you sniffled 

His jaw clenched hard enough you saw the muscle jump “He deserves it…he deserves it for hurting you like that”

“Maybe he does. But I’m asking you not to” he looked tortured by that, actually tortured and it made your heart break

“I don’t know how to live with hearing that.” Andrew looked at you “I wanna kill anyone who ever hurt you”

“You don’t have to…do that” you shook your head

“That’s easy for you to say.”

“No,” you finally said gently “It’s actually not.”

That finally shut him up and you watched the anger in his face slowly crack apart into something else now, grief. Not for himself but for you. His hands squeezed yours almost painfully “You were a kid.” he repeated

The way he said it nearly broke your composure but you managed to stay calm and simply nodded 

He shut his eyes hard and when he spoke again, his voice sounded wrecked “I can’t stand thinking about somebody hurting you.”

“I know.” 

“And now every time you pull away from me I’m gonna wonder if I remind you of him.”

“You don’t.” you answered quickly as your voice broke “How could you think that Andrew ? Of course you don’t”

“How do you know ?”

“Because I’m not scared of you.” you shook your head 

That hit him hard enough that his expression crumpled slightly and you reached up to kiss his cheek “You know what the difference is ?”

He shook his head once

“You stop when I need you to stop, you ask before you touch me sometimes, you pay attention and you make me feel safe,” you whispered “Even now.”

He looked devastated hearing that after what you had told him, his thumb rubbed unconsciously over your knuckles again and again and again, repetitive and grounding “I don’t know what to do with this feeling,” he admitted quietly “I feel like I’m gonna crawl out of my skin.”

“You sit with me.” you murmured 

“That’s it ?”

“That’s it.”

His eyes searched yours like he still wasn’t convinced, then finally, slowly, he nodded. You guided him toward the couch and for once, he let you take care of him. Later that night, long after the rain stopped, he held you carefully against his chest in bed like he was still trying to understand how the world could’ve ever been cruel enough to hurt you at all

You could always tell when his brain got stuck on something because he became unnervingly focused. Like every thought tunneled into one point until it consumed him completely. He hadn’t let go of your hand in almost an hour, his thumb kept moving against your skin in absent repetitive strokes, grounding himself

Finally, quietly, he spoke again “Did you tell anybody ?”

You looked over at him “No.”

“Not even your parents ?”

You shook your head once “Nope”

His jaw tightened slightly, but there was no anger in it this time. More disbelief than anything else “You were fifteen.”

“I know.”

“How does a fifteen-year-old carry that alone ?”

You gave a small shrug “I just did”

“That’s not an answer.”

A tiny breath of laughter escaped you despite yourself “See ? This is what I mean.”

His brows pulled together immediately “What ?”

“You ask things like an interrogator babe”

“I’m trying to understand.” he said as softly as he could

“I know.”

And you did know, that was the difference. He wasn’t asking for details out of curiosity. He was trying to build a map in his head so he could understand every reaction you’d ever had around him. From every hesitation to every flinch to every moment you froze up and pretended you were fine afterward

He looked down at your joined hands again “Did he…” his voice caught slightly before he forced himself to continue “Did he hurt you physically ?”

You considered the question carefully and finally nodded “Yes, he did”

His breathing changed immediately, still controlled but barely “And afterwards ?” he asked quietly “Did you get help ?  Like did you go to the hospital ?”

“No I didn’t”

His head snapped toward you “No ?”

“I didn’t tell anyone, remember ?”

“That doesn’t make sense.” Andrew shook his head

“It made sense to fifteen-year-old me.” you shrugged

He stared at you for a long moment like he hated that answer because he couldn’t argue with it. He knew what he was going to ask next could get him kicked out of your place but he needed it answered, “Did you think it was your fault ?”

The bluntness of it should’ve sounded harsh but instead it just sounded sad. You looked down at your lap and nodded “At the time I did….I shouldn’t have been alone with him. I should’ve gone to bed when my brother did. I should’ve locked my bedroom door like I always did…I…let it happen”

His face twisted instantly “That’s insane to even think that kind of shit. How could you think it was your fault ? It’s that sick fuck’s fault for hurting a kid”

“I’m the one who stayed up till 1 am with him” you whispered

“You were failed by every adult around you.” he brought up sternly

You reached over and touched his arm gently “I’m okay.”

“No,” he said immediately “You survived it. That’s different.” he rubbed a hand over his face roughly before asking another question “Is that why you don’t like being pinned down ?”

You stiffened slightly in surprise “You noticed that ?”

“I notice everything about you.” he answered instantly 

The answer came so quick it made your chest ache, of course he would notice that. Andrew noticed everything about you, the good and the bad

He continued before you could respond “The first time we kissed on the couch and I leaned over you, your breathing changed.” he glanced away briefly “So I stopped doing it.”

“You stop touching me in certain ways when I get nervous,” you realized softly

“Obviously.” he nodded

“Most people wouldn’t notice.”

“Well, I do.” he shifted toward you a little more now, eyes searching your face carefully “Does it happen all the time ?” he asked “Or only sometimes ?”

“Sometimes.”

“What does it feel like ?” he whispered

That question took you longer to answer, you tried to think of a way to explain it that would make sense to someone who had never experienced it “It’s like…” you paused for a bit and let out a deep breath “My body gets confused. My brain knows I’m safe but my nervous system doesn’t always catch up right away.”

He nodded immediately like that made perfect sense to him “Like panic responses.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

You blinked at how quickly he accepted it. There was no confusion or frustration, just acceptance. He sat back slightly, thinking again “Have I ever made you feel unsafe ?”

Your answer came instantly “No.”

The tension in his shoulders loosened just slightly “You would tell me if I did though, right ?”

“Yes.”

“You swear ?” Andrew looked at you “Right ?”

“I swear.” you leaned over and kissed him “I swear”

He held your gaze another second longer, making sure “Okay.”, silence settled again for a moment before he spoke quietly again, “I don’t really know how normal people respond to hearing something like this.”

 “I don’t think there is a normal response.” you huffed softly

“There should be.” he murmured

“You’re doing fine.” you held his hand “You are”

“I’m trying very hard not to go find somebody.” Andrew admitted 

You smiled faintly “I know.”

“I mean it.” his eyes dropped again “Every five minutes my brain goes back to wanting a name.”

“I know.”

“But I’m not asking again.”

That surprised you enough that your expression softened immediately “You’re not ?”

“No.” he swallowed “Because you asked me not to.”

Something warm and painful grew in your chest. This man, with all his damage, all his violence, all the terrible things he had survived and done was trying so hard to be gentle with you even now, especially now. You could tell he was trying his absolute hardest to be calm and to be comforting to you

He shifted closer suddenly and reached up carefully, brushing hair back from your face with tenderness “You know what bothers me the most ?”

“What ?”

“That you learned to expect people not to protect you.” he admitted 

Your throat tightened and his hand cupped your cheek softly “That’s over now though”

You looked at him quietly “Okay”

“I mean it,” he said, voice low and steady “Nothing is ever going to hurt you again, nothing’s gonna hurt you baby”

Emotion rose so suddenly in your chest it caught you off guard “You can’t control everything.”

“No,” he admitted “But I can control me.”

His thumb brushed gently beneath your eye “I will never be another thing you survive.”

That nearly broke you and your eyes watered instantly. He noticed right away, expression shifting with immediate concern “Hey,” he said softly “Did I say something wrong ?”

You shook your head quickly “No.”

“Then why are you crying ?”

“Because nobody’s ever said that to me before.”

The look on his face after that broke your heart. There was no pity, just heartbreak that nobody had loved you carefully enough before him…kind of like he had felt just before he had met you. He pulled you into his chest slowly, giving you plenty of time to pull away if you wanted but you didn’t

His arms wrapped around you carefully, securely, like he was building shelter around your body. He pressed his lips against your hair and kissed softly 

“Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as you’re with me you’ll be just fine”

[rbcages]

it scares me how temporary everyone/everything is

[tvfilmdaily]

NOAH WYLE as Dr. Michael "Robby" Robinavitch

THE PITT 1.15 - 9:00 P.M.

[bambicest]

You did your best. We all did.

⇀ The Pitt S01E15

[djglory]

showing up for myself cus who the hell else will

[thefaggotfrommcr]

I've had this message in my inbox for 11 years and I can't bring myself to post it because it's so beautiful. like. which one??

[thefaggotfrommcr]

happy 12th birthday to this message which remains in my inbox

[ghostlypawn]

VICTORIA JAVADI + DENNIS WHITAKER THE PITT [SEASON 2]

[bambicest]

You did your best. We all did.

⇀ The Pitt S01E15

[pittgifs]

[backonmybullsht]

Who gave him the right? I’m so mad.