Summary:
Steve really should have made sure Bucky locked the briefing room door.
Author’s Note:
written for @i-gotta-go-so-much-bigger’s request for my 1k celebration! hope you like it 🫶🏼
You glanced between the two men sitting on either side of you. “You two are terrible at subtlety.”
Steve’s hand stopped halfway through its slow path up your thigh. On your other side, Bucky lifted his beer to his mouth with such practiced innocence that you nearly laughed. He’d been watching Steve’s hand for the last ten minutes, so the act wasn’t particularly convincing, especially when the corner of his mouth twitched as Steve reluctantly moved his palm back toward your knee.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bucky said.
You looked around the common room before answering. Sam had taken over the opposite couch, one ankle propped across his knee while he argued with Natasha about something on the TV. Clint was stretched across an armchair with his phone held above his face, and Bruce had disappeared toward the kitchen a few minutes ago. Nobody seemed to be paying attention to the three of you tucked along the end of the sectional.
That didn’t mean nobody had noticed.
“You’ve been staring at Steve’s hand for the last ten minutes.”
Bucky tipped his bottle toward Steve. “Was staring at him.”
You turned to Steve, eyebrows raised. “Really?”
Steve sighed. “Don’t drag me into this.”
Bucky’s grin widened, and Steve slowly turned his head toward him. “Buck.”
There was enough warning packed into his name that Bucky finally abandoned the innocent expression. His grin flashed instead, bright and shameless, while Steve sighed through his nose as if he hadn’t willingly spent most of the evening sitting close enough that your legs remained pressed together.
You rested your head against Steve’s shoulder. “You’re both impossible.”
His hand returned to your thigh almost immediately, and of course Bucky noticed. His gaze dropped to where Steve’s palm rested before lifting to yours.
“We could always go somewhere else.”
Steve didn’t even look at him. “Don’t.”
“You don’t know what I was gonna say.”
“I know exactly what you were going to say.”
“Then I don’t gotta say it.”
“Great.”
Bucky leaned forward, forearms braced against his knees. “So we’re going?”
Steve’s fingers tightened against your leg, and you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling.
His head turned toward you. “Don’t encourage him.”
“I haven’t said anything.”
“You’re thinking very loudly.”
“That sounds like a you problem, Captain.”
Something changed in Steve’s expression, subtle enough that nobody across the room would have noticed but obvious to you. His eyes narrowed slightly as his thumb dragged once over the fabric covering your thigh, earning a quiet hum from Bucky.
Steve glanced past you at him. “You’re not helping.”
“Wasn’t trying to.”
That probably should have been the end of it, but ten minutes later you were following Bucky down the hallway while Steve walked behind you, muttering about both of you having absolutely no sense of self-preservation.
“You’re still coming,” you pointed out.
“That’s because I know what happens when I leave you two unsupervised.”
Bucky glanced over his shoulder. “Usually something fun.”
“Usually something expensive.”
“The kitchen table was already loose.”
“It was six months old.”
“Cheap construction.”
Steve stared at the back of Bucky’s head. “Tony had it custom made.”
“That was his first mistake.”
You covered your mouth, but your laugh escaped anyway. Steve caught your wrist and pulled your hand down, the sternness he was attempting lasting only until you smiled at him.
“There,” Bucky said. “Knew you weren’t actually mad.”
“I can change that.”
“You’ve been threatening me with that since 1938.”
“And one day you’re gonna learn.”
“Hasn’t happened yet.”
Bucky stopped outside one of the smaller briefing rooms on the training level and opened the door.
You peered inside. “Here?”
“It’s empty.”
“So is our bedroom.”
“Our bedroom’s three floors away.”
Steve folded his arms. “That is not a compelling argument.”
Bucky stepped through the doorway. “Then go upstairs.”
Steve remained in the hall while you backed into the room, his gaze following you the entire way. Bucky lingered beside the open door with an increasingly knowing smile as you held out your hand.
Steve stared at it for approximately two seconds before giving in and crossing the threshold.
“That’s what I thought.”
“Don’t start.”
Bucky shut the door behind him.
Steve immediately looked over. “Did you lock it?”
Bucky paused. “…Probably.”
“James.”
“What?”
“Lock the door.”
“It’s fine, Stevie.”
“That isn’t what I asked.”
Steve looked unconvinced, but you’d already caught the front of his shirt and pulled him toward you.
“It’s fine.”
“It is absolutely not—”
You kissed him, and whatever Steve had intended to say disappeared against your mouth.
His hands found your waist with an ease born from familiarity, one settling at the small of your back while the other slid along your side. He kissed you carefully at first, as though he still intended to prove he possessed some measure of restraint despite following both of you into an empty briefing room in the middle of the night.
Bucky came up behind you, his mouth brushing beneath your ear, and whatever restraint Steve had been clinging to lasted another few seconds. His grip tightened around your waist, making you smile into the kiss.
Bucky caught the reaction and gave a quiet, satisfied laugh. “Knew that’d get to you.”
Steve broke away just far enough to glare past you. “You gonna keep talking?”
“Always.”
Bucky’s hand settled against your hip, overlapping Steve’s for a moment before continuing lower. The warmth of him pressed along your back while Steve stood in front of you, and being caught between them sent a rush of anticipation through you that neither man missed.
Steve’s gaze dropped to your mouth. “You’re enjoying this.”
“Maybe.”
Bucky kissed the side of your neck. “She definitely is.”
Steve glanced at him. “You’re both enjoying this.”
“Never said I wasn’t.”
Steve shook his head, though the faint flush climbing his throat contradicted every bit of disapproval in his expression.
You hooked your fingers into his belt loops and drew him closer. “Captain America making out in a briefing room while half the team’s still downstairs.”
His eyes lifted to yours.
Bucky made a quiet sound behind you that was suspiciously close to laughter.
You smiled. “What would people say?”
Steve’s hand slid to the back of your neck. “Keep talking.”
The low warning in his voice sent heat curling through you.
Bucky laughed outright. “Jesus, Stevie.”
“You wanted me to loosen up.”
“Didn’t say I was complaining.”
Steve kissed you again before Bucky could add anything else, and the teasing quickly stopped feeling quite so funny.
The edge of the conference table bumped the backs of your thighs. Steve followed when you leaned against it, his body fitting between your knees as Bucky stayed beside you, one hand moving slowly along your waist.
“You know,” Bucky said, “this is usually where they talk about mission parameters.”
Steve kissed along your jaw. “Ignore him.”
“Operational objectives.”
“Buck.”
“Threat assessment.”
You laughed, and Steve caught your chin between his fingers. “You’re encouraging him again.”
“I can’t help that he’s funny.”
“He’s not.”
Bucky looked offended. “That’s hurtful.”
Steve’s thumb brushed across your lower lip. “You wanna keep laughing?”
The question changed your breathing enough that his expression sharpened immediately.
Bucky saw it too. “Think she wants you to do something about it.”
Steve turned his head. “You have a lot to say for somebody standing over there.”
Bucky’s eyebrows lifted, and you immediately understood Steve’s mistake. “Then invite me over.”
Steve looked back at you and found you fighting a smile. “I hate both of you.”
“Liar.”
Bucky stepped closer.
His mouth found your neck again while Steve kissed you, the two of them crowding you against the conference table until there was nowhere to move that didn’t bring you into contact with one of them. Bucky’s touch wandered with considerably less restraint than Steve’s, and every small reaction it drew from you seemed to encourage him.
Steve finally broke the kiss when your breathing became uneven. “Buck.”
“What?”
“You’re doing that on purpose.”
“Doing what?”
Steve gave him a look.
Bucky smiled against your neck. “She hasn’t complained.”
“I’m right here,” you reminded them.
“That’s the problem,” Steve muttered.
You laughed, and Bucky covered your mouth with his hand before the sound could carry beyond the room.
Steve stared at him. “Really?”
“She was getting loud.”
“You’re the one making her loud.”
Bucky’s mouth twitched. “Wasn’t just laughing.”
Your eyes widened while Steve gave him another look, and you retaliated by biting lightly at the heel of Bucky’s hand. He pulled it away. “Hey.”
“That’s what you get.”
“For trying to save us?”
“From a problem you created?”
Steve laughed against your shoulder, and Bucky immediately pointed at him. “You’re involved too.”
“I’m aware.”
“You’re more involved than I am right now.”
Steve lifted his head, and the look he gave Bucky sent another rush of anticipation through you.
Bucky saw it too. “Go ahead, punk.”
Steve’s jaw tightened as you ran your hands over his shoulders. “He’s baiting you.”
“I know.”
“You still look like you’re considering it.”
“I am.”
Bucky leaned a hip against the table beside you. “Knew he was smart.”
Whatever happened to Steve’s patience after that was entirely Bucky’s fault.
At least, that was what Steve would insist later.
Bucky’s shirt ended up on the floor first. Your impatient fingers worked several of Steve’s buttons free, leaving his shirt hanging open as the three of you shifted around the conference table with increasingly little concern for the purpose it had actually been designed to serve.
Bucky got you to himself first.
Steve remained close enough that you could reach him, one hand resting at the back of your neck while Bucky pressed against you from behind. His mouth returned to the spot beneath your ear he’d been tormenting since you entered the room, but this time his hand didn’t stop at your waist. He slipped beneath the waistband of your pants, fingers dragging slowly through the wetness already gathered between your thighs.
Your breath caught.
Bucky smiled against your neck. “Thought so.”
“Don’t start,” Steve warned.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You were about to.”
Bucky ignored him and slid two fingers through you again, deliberately avoiding your clit until you shifted impatiently against his hand. He laughed softly when you tried to guide him where you wanted him.
“You’ve been teasing us all night, sweetheart. You can wait a second.”
You turned your head enough to glare at him. “You’re the one who suggested leaving.”
“Yeah, and look how well that worked out for me.”
His fingers finally circled your clit, and whatever comeback you’d been preparing disappeared beneath the sudden rush of pleasure. Your head tipped back against his shoulder while Steve watched the change in your face, his thumb moving slowly along the side of your neck.
Bucky noticed where Steve was looking.
“You gonna keep staring?”
Steve’s eyes lifted. “You gonna keep talking?”
“Probably.”
“You’re gonna regret that.”
Bucky laughed. “That a promise?”
His fingers slid lower before pressing inside you, and your hand tightened around Steve’s open shirt. Bucky worked them deeper with patient strokes, curling them until your hips shifted back against him without conscious thought.
“There,” Bucky murmured. “That’s what you wanted.”
Steve’s gaze darkened. “Buck.”
“What?”
“You’re doing that on purpose.”
“Obviously.”
You laughed breathlessly and reached behind you, finding the hard length of Bucky’s cock through his pants. Whatever smart remark Bucky had been about to make died when your fingers closed around him.
The corner of Steve’s mouth lifted at Bucky’s reaction. “Still wanna talk?”
“Fuck you,” Bucky muttered.
You squeezed him again.
Steve’s smile widened. “That’s what I thought.”
Bucky retaliated by pulling his fingers from you and catching your hips. He drew you back from Steve just long enough to turn you toward the conference table, then followed as you braced your hands against the polished surface. Bucky stepped in behind you again, pushing your pants and underwear farther down your thighs.
The cool table beneath your palms was a sharp contrast to the heat of Bucky behind you.
Steve moved around to your front. You looked up at him as Bucky freed himself behind you, and Steve’s hand settled beneath your jaw. “You good?”
“Yeah.”
Bucky dragged the head of his cock through your wetness once, twice, deliberately taking his time.
You pushed back against him.
He caught your hip. “Impatient.”
“You made me wait.”
“That was about thirty seconds.”
“Felt longer.”
Steve’s mouth twitched. “She’s got a point.”
“Thought you were on my side.”
“I’m on hers.”
“Traitor.”
Bucky lined himself up and pushed slowly into you.
The stretch stole the next breath from your lungs. Your fingers tightened against the edge of the table while he worked himself deeper, stopping only when your body tensed around him.
Steve brushed his thumb along your jaw. “Easy.”
Bucky went still behind you. You took another breath and relaxed around him before pushing your hips back enough to take the rest.
A groan broke from Bucky. “Jesus.”
Steve’s gaze flicked over you toward him. “You alright back there?”
“Shut up.”
“You were talking plenty a minute ago.”
Bucky tightened his grip around your hips and pulled almost all the way out before thrusting back into you.
The sound you made cut Steve’s teasing short. His eyes returned to yours.
Bucky did it again, slower this time, letting you feel every inch before his hips met yours.
“Fuck,” you breathed.
“Yeah?” Bucky’s voice had already roughened. “That better?”
You pushed back against him.
He groaned.
Steve slid one hand into your hair, not pulling, only gathering enough of it away from your face that he could see you properly. “Answer him.”
“Yeah.”
Bucky laughed once, breathlessly. “Knew it.”
Then he started fucking you in earnest. His first few thrusts stayed measured, giving you time to adjust before his rhythm gradually quickened. Each one pushed you forward against the table until Steve braced a hand against your shoulder, keeping you from sliding farther across the polished surface.
Bucky’s fingers dug into your hips. “You feel fucking incredible.”
Steve’s eyebrows rose.
Bucky caught it. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“Say it.”
Steve looked at you instead. “He gets chatty when he’s enjoying himself.”
Bucky’s next thrust drove deeper, and your mouth fell open on a moan.
Steve immediately leaned down and kissed you. You clutched at the front of his shirt while Bucky kept moving behind you, Steve swallowing each increasingly helpless sound as Bucky’s pace picked up. The table shifted faintly beneath the force of his thrusts.
Bucky’s hand slipped around your hip and between your thighs.
You broke away from Steve’s mouth with a gasp when his fingers found your clit. “Buck—”
“Got you.”
His fingers moved in tight circles while he fucked you, the double stimulation sending pleasure building rapidly through your stomach. Your legs started to tremble.
Steve felt it where his hand rested against you. “Close?”
You nodded.
Bucky made a satisfied sound behind you. “Can feel it.”
Steve’s eyes sharpened. “Then don’t stop.”
“Wasn’t planning on it.”
Bucky’s thrusts grew harder, his fingers maintaining the same steady pressure even as the movement of his hips grew increasingly uneven. You buried your face against Steve’s shoulder to muffle yourself, biting lightly through the fabric of his shirt when Bucky hit the angle that made your whole body tighten.
“Right there,” you gasped.
Bucky didn’t need the instruction twice. He kept the same angle, fucking you through the tension gathering low in your stomach until your thighs started shaking harder.
Steve’s hand moved along your back. “Come on.”
The quiet command pushed you over. Your orgasm broke through you in a sudden rush, your body clenching around Bucky as a broken moan disappeared against Steve’s shoulder.
Bucky swore, his rhythm faltering immediately. “Fuck, sweetheart.”
He kept moving through the contractions, thrusts turning rougher and less controlled while his grip tightened around your hip. Your oversensitive body twitched beneath his fingers until he finally pulled his hand away from your clit.
Bucky lasted only a few more thrusts. He buried himself deep with a low groan and came inside you, his chest pressing over your back as his hips gave a final uneven jerk.
For several seconds, nobody moved.
Bucky’s breathing was hot against your shoulder.
Steve ran one hand slowly along your back. “You alive?”
Bucky lifted his head just enough to glare at him. “Ask me again in a minute.”
You laughed weakly.
Bucky kissed your shoulder before gradually straightening. When he finally pulled out, the movement drew a soft sound from you, his come already beginning to slip between your thighs.
Steve’s gaze dropped to the mess slipping between your thighs before lifting slowly to Bucky. “Done?”
Bucky tucked himself back into his pants, still breathing harder than usual. “Your turn, punk.”
Steve’s attention returned to you as Bucky stepped away.
You pushed yourself upright from the table while Steve came around to your side. He caught your hips once he reached you, helping you turn before lifting you onto the edge of the conference table. Your pants and underwear were still bunched around your thighs, and you shoved them down far enough to slip one leg free before parting your thighs for him.
Steve stepped between them. You barely had time to smile before he leaned in and kissed you.
Bucky leaned against the table beside you, shirtless and wearing the smug expression of a man who had absolutely no intention of becoming less annoying now that he’d gotten what he wanted.
Steve kissed you while his hands traveled slowly down your sides. His touch was different from Bucky’s, less hurried even with the impatience you could feel beneath it. He let one hand slide between your thighs, and his mouth stilled against yours when his fingers encountered the mess Bucky had left behind.
His eyes opened.
Bucky grinned. “Problem?”
Steve looked at him. “Don’t.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You were about to.”
Bucky lifted both hands, but the grin remained.
Steve turned back to you. His fingers dragged through Bucky’s come before sliding upward to your clit, and your thighs twitched around his hips. “You okay?”
“More than okay.”
“You sensitive?”
“A little.”
His thumb moved carefully over your clit.
You sucked in a breath.
Steve watched your face. “Too much?”
“No.”
Bucky leaned closer. “She’d tell you if it was.”
Steve gave him a sidelong look. “I know.”
“Just helping.”
“You’ve done enough helping.”
“Disagree.”
Steve ignored him and pushed two fingers inside you, curling them against the sensitive spot that made your head tip back and your legs tighten around him. His thumb settled over your clit as he worked you through the slick mess Bucky had left behind.
“Steve.”
“I know.”
He kissed you again, fingers continuing their slow rhythm until your hips started rocking against his hand.
Bucky watched from beside you. “You know she was doing that with me too.”
Steve’s mouth left yours. “You trying to start something?”
“Maybe.”
“You already got your turn.”
Bucky’s grin widened. “Doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate yours.”
Steve pulled his fingers from you.
Bucky’s eyes dropped. “Jesus.”
Steve looked down too, something darker settling into his expression at the sight of his fingers slick with both your arousal and what Bucky had left inside you.
Both men went still as you caught Steve’s wrist before he could move away and brought his fingers to your mouth, sucking them clean.
“Fuck,” Bucky said quietly.
Steve’s gaze stayed locked on your mouth until you released him.
Then he caught your jaw and kissed you hard. You reached between you, working open his pants while he crowded closer. Steve helped just enough to free himself before his hand returned to your waist.
The head of his cock dragged through the wetness between your thighs. Steve looked at you. “Ready?”
“Yeah.”
He pushed inside. You were already stretched and slick from Bucky, but Steve still took his time, working himself deeper inch by inch while his forehead rested against yours. Your legs tightened around his hips as he filled you, the lingering sensitivity from your first orgasm making every inch feel more intense.
Steve stopped when he was fully inside. “You good?”
You nodded. “Move.”
Bucky laughed softly beside you. “Think that means she’s good.”
Steve didn’t look away from you. “Nobody asked you.”
His first thrust was slow, but the second went deeper, making you wrap your legs more securely around his waist and pulling him closer.
Steve exhaled sharply against your mouth. “This what you wanted?”
“Yes.”
His hand tightened around your hip.
“Then hold on.”
Steve kept that measured rhythm longer than Bucky had, dragging his cock almost all the way out before filling you again. Each thrust dragged through the slick mess Bucky had left between your thighs before pushing it back inside you.
Bucky’s gaze dropped. “Fuck, Stevie.”
Steve’s jaw tightened. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“You’ve never said ‘nothing’ like that in your life.”
Bucky laughed.
Steve thrust harder. The sudden force drove a moan from you and made the table shift beneath your weight.
Bucky’s eyebrows rose. “There you go.”
“Stop encouraging him,” you breathed.
Bucky looked delighted. “Thought that was your job.”
Steve answered with another harder thrust. Your fingers tightened around his shoulders.
His expression changed when he felt you clench. “You like that?”
You nodded.
“Use your words.”
“Yes.”
Bucky made an approving sound.
Steve glanced at him. “I swear—”
You pulled Steve back toward you before he could finish the threat. “Pay attention.”
His eyes returned to yours. “Bossy.”
“You like it.”
Steve’s mouth curved. “Maybe.”
He kissed you and picked up his pace.
This time he stopped holding back. His hips drove into you with enough force that you had to brace one hand behind yourself against the table while the other stayed wrapped around his shoulder. Steve caught your thigh and lifted it higher against his side, changing the angle until his next thrust hit deep enough to tear a gasp from you.
He felt the reaction immediately. “There?”
You swallowed. “Again.”
Steve obliged; the next thrust struck the same spot.
Your head tipped back. “Fuck.”
Bucky shifted closer.
Steve noticed his hand moving toward you. “Thought you were done.”
“I am.”
“Then why are you touching her?”
Bucky slid his palm along the inside of your thigh. “Finishing doesn’t mean I’m done with her.”
His fingers reached your clit, making your breath break.
Steve’s hips stuttered for a fraction of a second.
Bucky smiled. “Problem?”
“You’re enjoying this way too much.”
“Yeah.”
Steve drove into you again while Bucky circled your clit, and the combined sensation made your legs tighten around him.
Bucky watched your face. “She’s still sensitive.”
Steve’s breathing had grown rougher. “I noticed.”
“Then fuck her like it.”
Steve looked at him. Bucky grinned.
You barely had time to inhale before Steve drove into you harder, then did it again.
Your grip tightened around his shoulders while Bucky kept his fingers moving between your bodies, Steve’s rhythm steadily losing the last of its caution.
The conference table shifted beneath you again. “Steve.”
His mouth brushed your jaw. “I’ve got you.”
Footsteps sounded in the corridor.
Steve stopped so suddenly that your breath caught for an entirely different reason.
Bucky pulled his hand away immediately.
“Someone’s coming,” Steve whispered.
The three of you went silent.
Steve remained buried fully inside you, one hand gripping your waist and the other braced against the conference table. You could feel every small twitch of Steve’s body as the footsteps drew closer. Whoever was outside paused near the briefing room for one agonizing moment and continued down the hall.
Nobody moved until the sound faded down the hallway. Bucky dropped his forehead against your shoulder and started laughing.
Steve stared at him. “This isn’t funny.”
“You should’ve seen your face.”
“My face?”
“Both your faces.”
Steve looked at you, apparently expecting support. You pressed your lips together.
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t.”
“You’re still inside me.”
Bucky made a strangled sound and folded farther over your shoulder, laughing hard enough that you could feel it.
Steve closed his eyes. “Christ.”
“You said it wasn’t funny.”
“It isn’t.”
Bucky managed to straighten. “Sure about that, Stevie?”
Steve looked toward the door.
For a moment, you genuinely thought he might finally pull out and insist on going upstairs.
Instead, his hand tightened around your hip.
“So we’re not stopping,” Bucky said.
Steve glared at him. “You’ve talked enough.”
“That’s a no, then.”
Steve kissed you before either of you could say anything else.
His first thrust after the interruption was harder than anything he’d given you before it.
You gasped against his mouth.
The second drove you backward against the table.
Bucky’s laughter abruptly stopped. “Fuck.”
Steve ignored him. Whatever the near miss had done to Steve, embarrassment clearly wasn’t the only result. His careful rhythm was gone, replaced by hard, deliberate thrusts that made the table shake beneath you.
Your fingers dug into his shoulders. “Steve.”
“Still good?”
“Yeah.”
His hand slid beneath your thigh and lifted it higher. “Then take it.”
The words sent heat rushing through you.
Bucky swore softly beside you. Steve heard him. A faint, almost smug curve touched his mouth.
Bucky stared. “Oh, now you’re showing off.”
Steve shot him a look. “You wanted me to loosen up.”
Bucky’s grin widened. “Didn’t think you’d take it this far.”
Steve answered by thrusting harder. You moaned.
Bucky immediately reached between you again. His fingers found your clit, and your whole body jolted.
Steve looked down. “Really?”
“She liked it before.”
“She’s already having trouble staying quiet.”
“Sounds like motivation.”
Bucky circled your clit again, making your head fall back.
Steve caught your jaw and brought your attention back to him. “Look at me.”
You did.
“That’s it.” His voice had gone low and rough, every remaining trace of embarrassment replaced with something far more possessive.
“Careful, Stevie. You sound like you’re enjoying this.”
Steve drove into you hard enough to steal your breath.
Bucky smiled. “Guess so.”
“You want me to shut you up myself?”
“While you’re busy?”
You laughed breathlessly. “He has a point.”
Steve looked at you. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I’m between both of you. I don’t have a side.”
Bucky’s fingers pressed more firmly against your clit. “That’s my girl.”
Steve’s hand tightened around your jaw. “His girl?”
Bucky laughed. “Oh, now you care?”
Something changed in Steve’s expression. His pace picked up.
The amusement disappeared from your face almost immediately as pleasure began building again, sharper this time because your body had never fully come down from Bucky.
“Steve.”
“I know.”
His hand left your jaw and wrapped around your waist, holding you securely at the edge of the table while he fucked you harder. Bucky kept his fingers moving against your clit, matching Steve’s rhythm until you could feel another orgasm gathering rapidly.
Then the access panel beside the door chirped.
Everything stopped.
Steve’s eyes snapped toward the sound.
Bucky jerked his hand away. “Shit.”
The mechanism clicked.
Steve barely had time to stop moving before the door opened.
Natasha Romanoff stepped inside.
Nobody spoke.
Her gaze landed on Bucky first. His shirt was the only piece of clothing any of you had actually removed, and his pants were fastened again after his earlier turn. Then she looked at you, still wearing everything you’d entered the room in, though your pants and underwear were pushed down with one leg slipped free to give Steve access, your legs wrapped around his hips where he stood between them.
Finally, she looked at Steve. His shirt hung open where you’d undone several buttons, and his pants had only been opened and pushed down far enough for him to fuck you.
He was still inside you.
Steve seemed to realize at approximately the same moment Natasha did that there was no disguising exactly what she’d walked in on. Steve immediately shifted closer, using his body to shield the exposed space between your thighs from view. Bucky, apparently incapable of experiencing shame in any useful quantity, leaned one hip against the table.
“Hey, Nat.”
She looked at him. “Barnes.”
Steve closed his eyes briefly.
“The door locks from the inside,” Natasha said.
Bucky slowly looked toward the door before turning back to Steve. “Knew I forgot something.”
Steve dropped his forehead against yours. You covered your face with both hands.
Natasha continued into the room.
Steve looked up in horror. “What are you doing?”
“Getting my tablet.”
Her tablet sat at the opposite end of the conference table. Natasha walked toward it with the composure of someone entering an entirely ordinary briefing room instead of one containing three teammates very obviously interrupted in the middle of sex.
Steve still hadn’t pulled out. At that point, doing so probably would have exposed even more of you to Natasha.
Bucky seemed to arrive at the same conclusion, because his mouth twitched.
Steve caught it. Do not, he mouthed.
I didn’t say anything, Bucky mouthed back.
Natasha picked up the tablet and tucked it beneath her arm. Her gaze moved from Steve to Bucky and finally to you. “Sam owes me twenty dollars.”
Your hands dropped from your face. “What?”
Steve looked genuinely alarmed. “Why?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“Nat.”
She turned toward the door.
“Natasha.”
“Goodnight, Steve.”
“Natasha.”
The door closed behind her. Bucky crossed the room and turned the lock before anyone said a word.
Steve stared at him.
“What?” Bucky said. “Better late than never.”
You laughed.
Steve looked at you in disbelief, which only made it harder to stop laughing. Bucky leaned back against the locked door, shoulders shaking.
“Don’t,” Steve warned.
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re not.”
“No,” Bucky admitted. “I’m really not.”
Steve looked down between your bodies before closing his eyes.
“You’re still inside me,” you reminded him.
Bucky laughed harder.
Steve pointed toward him without turning around. “One more sound.”
Bucky pressed his lips together. The silence lasted perhaps two seconds. “Sam owes her twenty dollars.”
Steve’s head snapped toward him. “Buck.”
“What do you think the bet was?”
“I don’t want to know.”
“They already had money on this.”
“I heard her.”
“Which means—”
“James.”
Bucky finally raised both hands.
Steve turned back to you. The embarrassment was still written clearly across his face, but Natasha’s interruption hadn’t changed the fact that he was still hard inside you.
You shifted your hips experimentally.
Steve inhaled sharply as his eyes narrowed. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“You know exactly what you’re doing.”
Bucky made a thoughtful sound from beside the door.
Steve didn’t even look at him. “Not a word.”
Bucky mimed zipping his mouth.
You bit back a smile.
Steve glanced toward the locked door and then back at you. “You still want to keep going?”
“Yeah.”
His shoulders relaxed. “Okay.”
You caught his open shirt and pulled him down into a kiss.
Steve started moving again slowly, both of you acutely aware of the absurdity of resuming exactly where Natasha had interrupted you. His first thrust was almost cautious. The second wasn’t. By the third, whatever embarrassment had survived her departure was rapidly turning into something else.
You tightened your legs around him. Steve groaned against your mouth.
Bucky came back to your side and reached between your thighs again, earning a warning look from Steve.
Bucky shrugged. “Door’s locked.”
Steve stared at him, but then his expression changed. “Fine.”
Bucky’s eyebrows rose. “Fine?”
“You wanted to help.” Steve drove into you again. “Help.”
The satisfaction on Bucky’s face should have been irritating, but then his fingers found your clit as Steve fucked you harder.
Your breath caught immediately.
“There you go,” Steve murmured.
His voice had lost every trace of the mortification Natasha had left behind.
Bucky matched the movement of his fingers to Steve’s thrusts, and the pressure building low in your stomach sharpened so quickly that your hand flew to Steve’s shoulder.
“Steve.”
“I’ve got you.”
Bucky leaned close to your ear. “You were close before she walked in.”
You whimpered, and Steve’s grip tightened around you as Bucky smiled against your temple. “Knew it.”
“Buck.”
“What? I’m helping.”
His fingers moved faster as Steve drove into you again, the combination making your whole body tighten.
“That’s it,” Steve murmured. “Come on.”
The orgasm broke through you hard enough that your legs locked around his hips. You buried your face against Steve’s shoulder, muffling your cry against his skin while Bucky kept rubbing your clit through every wave.
Steve’s rhythm faltered as you clenched around him. “Fuck.”
He held you securely against him, fucking you through the aftershocks until your hand dropped to catch Bucky’s wrist. “Enough.”
Bucky stopped immediately and kissed your temple, but Steve was already too close to stop. His forehead pressed against yours as his thrusts shortened and steadily lost their rhythm. “Still okay?”
“Yeah.”
His eyes closed.
You tightened your legs around him. “Come inside me.”
Bucky went very quiet beside you.
Steve made a broken sound and buried himself as deeply as he could. His grip tightened around your waist when he came, filling you while his forehead dropped to your shoulder. You held him there as the last tension gradually left his body.
For several seconds, the room was finally quiet.
Then Bucky looked down between your bodies.
Steve saw him. “Don’t.”
Bucky lifted his eyes. “Didn’t say anything.”
“You were going to.”
“I was gonna say the door’s definitely locked.”
Steve finally eased out of you as you laughed against his shoulder, keeping one hand at your waist as Bucky grinned and bent to retrieve his shirt from the floor.
“See? Helpful.”
Steve reached past your hip, grabbed the nearest pen from the conference table, and threw it at him.
Bucky straightened with his shirt in one hand just in time to catch the pen against his chest.
“Violence,” he said solemnly. “After everything we’ve been through.”
“You forgot to lock the door.”
“One mistake.”
“Natasha walked in while I was fucking her.”
Bucky considered that. “Okay. Pretty big mistake.”
You laughed harder, and Steve finally gave up trying to look annoyed. His forehead settled against your shoulder while Bucky pulled his shirt back on.
For once, Bucky managed nearly ten seconds without saying anything.
Then he glanced toward the locked door. “So, important question.”
Steve groaned. “What?”
“Think Sam’s gonna ask her for proof?”
Steve found another pen before Bucky finished laughing and threw it, catching him squarely in the forehead.
✦Bucky Masterlist - Main Masterlist - Read on aO3!✦
✦summary: you and Bucky hate each other, so it's not unusual for him to act cold around you. but this is differant. this is... feral. and you're starting to wonder what's wrong✦
✦warnings/tags: bucky barnes x female!reader, enemies to lovers, ragebating Bucky Barnes, emotional angst, everyone's bad at feelings, fluff, sex pollen, sex pollen level smut, a little plot for the porn (dry humping, manhandling, bucky's feral, emotional sex, dry orgasm, truly foul dirty talk, hyperspermia, pussy eating like crazy, fingering, dumbification, dirty talk, sensitive reader, finger sucking, bucky gets nasty, body worship, overstimulation, sex pollen stamnia, mean!bucky, oral f!recieving, begging, praise kink, monster dick bucky, he fucks like a machine, breeding kink), no use of y/n, no descrption of reader✦
✦wc: 11.1k✦
✦Author's Note: i'm so normal about sex pollen✦
It doesn’t bother you. If you tell yourself enough, you’re really going to believe that it doesn’t bother you.
But he’s everywhere.
There isn’t a corner of the damn building without Bucky Barnes. You go to the kitchen and he’s there making a sandwich, watching you move around the counter like he thinks you’re going to bite him. In the gym he’s at the weights and the punching bags, and you try to ignore him but he grunts and moans and you think he’s doing it on purpose. the living area he takes over the TV and watches whatever he wants to catch up with the times. No matter how politely you ask him to switch to something else, he always tells you to just wait. Then you try, but he’s spread out on the couch until your knees have to bump, and your face gets all hot, and you have to stomp away before you start acting on all your stupid thoughts.
Because it’s not just Bucky’s eternal presence and stubbornness and smirking that burrows under your skin. It’s that you like it.
That when you’re next to him on the couch, all you can think about is that place where your body’s connect. He’s warm. Tall and warm. Your skin tingles at the contact point, and whenever he shifts it’s like you’re being shot up with a drug.
“You’re squirmy.” He grumbles, glaring at you in the dark. “No one ever teach you to sit still?”
You stick your tongue out. “No one ever teach you to mind your own business?”
“Hard to mind my business when you’re movin’ all the cushions, doll-“
“Then go sit somewhere else, robot man.”
Bucky’s jaw twitches. “I’m not a robot.”
“Uh huh.”
“I’m not-“
“You act like one.” You snap, and Bucky closes his eyes. Like he’s fucking praying.
“I was here first.” He mutters. You don’t balk.
“Congratulations.”
You hold his glare, and Bucky lets out a heavy breath through his nose. He narrows his eyes, tongue flicking over his lips. His full lips. Pretty and chapped, but in the perfect, soft way-
Get a fucking grip.
“There’s a chair over there.” You point across the room, sinking back into the cushions. “Go sit in it, if I’m so squirmy.”
Bucky scowls, and opens his mouth, but whatever jab he’s got for you, you don’t want to hear it. You reach over and unpause the movie—probably another one of Sam’s this is what you gotta catch up on, Barnes suggestions, because there’s no way Bucky picked out the Goonies himself—and fix your glower on the TV screen. You hate this movie. You’re going to watch it all the way through, just to show Bucky that he doesn’t bother you.
You spread your own legs wide, too. If men are allowed to do it, so are you. Bucky grunts as your knee pushes over his thigh, and you smirk at the TV.
It has nothing to do with the thick muscle you can feel under his sweatpants, that you keep your legs like that for the rest of the night. Bucky’s fingers flex a few times, and brush over the inner curve of your knee and the top of your thigh, like he’s thinking about just shoving you away. At one point, you hear him grunt, and look over with mockingly raised brows.
“Everything okay?” You almost simper, and he grunts and nods.
That’s all you get. Bucky fixes his anger on the movie, you win this round, and you get to be close to him without thinking about it.
You’ll think about it later. In the comfort of your own bedroom, you’ll think about it and think about it and think about it all night. You’ll think about it until your wrist hurts. But Bucky doesn’t get to know that.
As far as he needs to be concerned, you never spare him a second thought. It’s all he spares you. And you’re not going to be the pathetic girl who falls for someone who only thinks of her as a buzzing gnat around his head. Who worships the ground of a man who would step on her like a flower into concrete, not because he was seeking to hurt, but just because he didn’t notice you were there at all.
Although Bucky does seem to notice where you are.
The farmer does like to keep track of pests in his crops.
“You skipped the mission briefing.” Bucky grunts in the morning, glaring at you over a cup of coffee.
Something soft in you swells like a prodded bruise. He noticed where you were.
You ignore it in favor of flipping him off.
“I was busy.”
“Too busy for your job?”
“It’s not my job-“
“Your name was on the roster.” Bucky slams the folder down on the table, and your lips twitch.
“Have you been carrying that around all day?”
“That doesn’t matter-“
“Yes, it really does-“
Bucky hisses your name. There’s a fury under his tone, that makes your mouth snap shut. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything.
“You need to be there, Steve was talkin’ about safety shit, and if you don’t know it you could get killed-“
“I know how mission briefing work, I’ve been here longer than you have-“
“Really? ‘Cause you don’t act like it-“
“I don’t act like it?” You snort. “Last I checked I’m ranked higher than you, Sargent.” You raise your chin, letting your lips curl. “Which is why I’m allowed to defer missions, and you’re not.”
“I’m skipping.” You shrug, grabbing an apple from the counter. “And if I’m skipping, I don’t need to be at the briefing. But thanks for checking on me, dad.”
Bucky’s eyes narrow. You expect him to snap something about experience and you not being responsible enough or needing to care more.
But instead his fists curl and uncurl at his side. His nostrils flare. He grabs the counter, his scowl burning right through you. You take a large bite of your apple, and his gaze darts down. Juice drips down your chin, and you wipe it off with light fingers. That only seems to make him angrier.
“Why’re you skipping.”
You shrug. You should say none of your business. But part of you is childish. A very big, loud part that wants him to react to something you know he isn’t actually going to care about.
“I have a date.”
“A what.” It’s not a full reaction. He’s mostly staring at you like he didn’t understand the word. Maybe they called it something different in the 40s.
“A date?” You roll your eyes, a little meaner than you mean to be. He always bring that out in you, though.
Bucky always brings everything out in you. It’s incredibly annoying.
“You know.” You push mockingly. “Where you go out with someone. And flirt like people, instead of robots.”
“Robots flirt.” Bucky grunts, and you snort.
“Yeah, but they don’t have sex-“
The counter cracks. It’s loud, echoing through the kitchen. You start and twitch, and Bucky blinks at his metal hand, like he’s just as surprised as you are. He looks back to you, shakes his head, and takes a large step back.
“What’s-“
“Steve’s callin’ me.” He mutters, and you blink.
“No, he’s not-“
“Have fun.” Bucky ignores you. His words sound pushed through his teeth. “On your human date.”
Then he’s gone.
And you’re left in the kitchen with your apple and a cracked counter, staring at where he’d vanished through the door. You don’t care about the date.
You just need to know what the fuck that was.
There’s a part of you that feels bad, for the man Natasha set you up with. She’d picked him out specifically because he had a vague resemblance to Bucky—because you’ve never told her your secret, but you didn’t need to, she’s Natasha—but it wasn’t enough.
He didn’t have the underlying accent, or the gleam in his eyes. You made a sharper edged joke, and he just laughed. He didn’t spar. He didn’t push your buttons in a way that made you light up. He just smiled at you all night—wrong smile, too—and then didn’t pay. Bucky would’ve paid.
You have no evidence of that. It’s just a feeling, that comes from how he still opens doors for you, even when you’re at each other’s throats. All polite and handsome and insufferable. You hate him.
And there’s not a single point during the night, where you’re not thinking about him.
“We should do this again.” The Date—you’ve forgotten his name, and it’s certainly not a good time to ask—says at the end of the night.
You’re shivering. Bucky would’ve offered you his jacket. He did once, on a mission in the Andes. You got all cold and he rolled his eyes and muttered that he told you to bring another layer, but still gave you his jacket all the same. This man is just grinning at you after not calling you a cab and saying he wanted to stand outside in the misty, chilly night. He said he wanted fresh air, and now your freezing, and he thinks he’s getting a second date.
At the very least, you feel a little less guilty about only thinking of Bucky and the mission the whole time. He deserved it.
“Sure.” You smile, because even with superstrength, it’s easier to tell a man yes and then vanish than it is to deny them to their face. “Have a good night.”
He tries to hug you. Your phone buzzes, and you duck away to check it.
The mission is over.
Two days early.
Your jaw tightens.
Most people would think that a job being done early is a good thing. That it means the team was just so focused and coordinated that they sped through every single step, and ended in a total victory. But you’ve been on this job too long. Early mission conclusions only ever happen for one reason.
Something went wrong, and they have to come back.
You rush back to the compound with barely a goodnight to the Date. It’s mostly because you forget, in the blur of worry. You’d skimmed the mission files before they left, just to make sure it wasn’t anything too dangerous. Bucky had been mad about you not going with them. Maybe he’d thought they’d need the hands, but it had just looked like a retrieval mission. Old Hydra facility with some data Tony wanted. Nothing too hard.
But they’re back early.
And if someone’s hurt, you could’ve stopped it. You could’ve been there, instead of on that stupid fucking date. Which also means that Bucky was right, and that’s incredibly annoying. He’s going to weild it over your head, and the mocking is going to turn you on more, and you’ll have earned it which isn’t going to help anything at all.
You get back to the compound, and it’s not in lockdown. There aren’t med staff flooding the grounds or emergency sirens blaring. You go right to the hanger, and find that it’s already been cleared out. The jet isn’t being quarantined.
Maybe they really did just… Finish early.
You’re heading back to your room when you slam right into them.
Steve and Bucky, standing in the middle of the hall, arguing in hushed voices.
“You need to go, Buck-“
“I’m fine-“
“No, you’re not. You can lie to the docs, don’t lie to me-“
“I ain’t lyin’, I’m fine-“
Your too lost in your own head, barely even hearing what they’re saying. You barrel straight into Bucky’s back.
He goes rigid. You stumble a little, and he grabs your upper arm.
His hand is hot.
Not sexy hot—although it’s also that—but literally, physically hot. Almost searing, against your shivering skin. You look up at him, and swallow.
He’s flushed. There’s sweat clinging to his brow, and an exhausted shadow over his features. His eyes are so blown out they’re almost fully black. You blink at him, and his mouth falls open in a ragged pant.
“Hi.” You whisper.
His throat bobs. “You’re back.”
“I- I got the alert.” You glance over to Steve, who’s gone oddly pale. “Did the mission go okay? It was fine that I wasn’t there, right-“
“Yep!” Steve almost shouts, and you blink. “I mean- We were all good. Wish you were there, we all missed you, but- We were fine. Right, Buck?” Steve grabs Bucky’s shoulder. “We were all good.”
Bucky doesn’t look away from you for a single second. He grunts, and his grip tightens on your arm.
“Let go.” Steve mutters, and Bucky shoots him a glare.
He releases you like you burned him, then wipes his hand on his pants. You scowl. He was the one touching you.
“I was gonna.” He grumbles, and Steve sighs.
“I know, but-“ You get a weary look. Like Steve doesn’t want you to hear their conversation. “I think- You know what I think-“
“Steve-“ Bucky cuts himself off with a groan, running a hand over his face.
He still hasn’t looked away from you. Or moved that far out of your proximity.
“I’m fine.” He says, low and under his breath. You’re rooted to the ground under his gaze, unsure what you could even think of to say. “It’s- I’m fine.”
Steve’s lips press in a thin line. Bucky takes a large, jerking step back. Like he’s dragging himself away.
“How was your date?” He grunts.
“Bucky-“
“I’m just askin’ a question.” He snaps, still not sparing Steve a look.
The attention is getting to be too much. Bucky is looking at you like he wants to eat you alive, and it’s making your body almost buzz in anticipation. You want to jump on him and feel those hot hands all over your body. His nostrils flare like he can smell your arousal. If he can, you might jump off a bridge.
You hope he’d catch you, then fuck you until your can’t even walk.
Get a fucking grip.
“Bad.” You cross your arms over your chest, trying to keep your heart from bursting out of your chest. “He sucked.”
And that’s the kind of thing Bucky would usually mock you for. Skipping a mission just for a bad date.
But a low, rumbling growl falls from his chest. His tongue darts over his lips. He takes a half-step forward, and you lean in to the gravity of his stare.
“We have debriefing!” Steve shouts, grabbing the collar of Bucky’s suit. “Bye!”
Before you can even register it, Steve’s dragging Bucky down the hall. You swear you hear another feral noise, and a crash after they turn the corner.
Something had to have happened on the mission. You just have no fucking clue what.
Bucky’s only been acting stranger. You’d pretend it didn’t bother you, if you could get away from it for a single fucking second.
You walk through the compound, and he’s somehow more everywhere than he was before. Around every corner, in the library, on the grounds, even in the control room while you’re going through the mission files.
“What’re you doin’.” He grunts, and you sigh.
You’re not surprised he’s there. It’s the fifth time today that he’s snuck up on you.
“I’m going through the reports on the mission.” You drawl. “Don’t you have better things to do than follow me around?”
Bucky grunts. It seems to be a no. You roll your eyes and go back to poking through the system. It’s hard to pretend that you can’t feel his presence behind you. There’s heat almost rolling from his body, and thick, spicy and musky scent that’s filling the room. It’s making you a little dizzy. It’s all you can do, not to look back at him.
That would be dangerous. He probably still looks feverish and animalistic. You might moan.
You find the files for the mission, and try to open them. Big, read access denied, contact your handler for permission to these files flashes over your screen. Your mouth falls open, and you whip back to glare at Bucky before you can think about it.
Mistake. Just like you’d thought, big mistake.
He looks even worse and better than you thought. He’s wearing just a t-shirt and sweats, and they’re clinging to his sweaty body. His eyes are hooded and his lips are parted. His attention is so wholly fixed on you that it almost makes you fall out of your chair. You almost forget you’re annoyed with him. Every single nerve in your body is alight, and your fingers are itching to comb through his sweaty hair.
You somehow—just barely—fight it.
“Why can’t I access these files.”
Bucky leans over you, his nostrils flaring. If you reach up, you could trace the stubbled line of his jaw. It’s hard to maintain your glare.
“Barnes-“
“You weren’t on the mission.” He mutters. “Not your files to see.”
You scowl. “I can access the files of every other mission I was on-“
“Steve should change that.”
God, you wish he wasn’t so pretty. It would be easier to think about punching him.
“I know something happened out there.” You hiss, sitting up a little taller. “You can’t hide it from me. I’ll figure it out.”
Bucky chuckles. It’s a low, raspy sound that runs through your body, making you shiver.
“Sure, doll. Have fun with that.”
You shoot to your feet, and Bucky lurches back. Another one of those deep, rumbling growls rolls from his chest, and for a second you think he’s going to pounce on you.
And then you blink, and he’s gone. Leaving you with only that hazy smell, and desire rolling through your veins.
You wish that was the extent of it, but it’s barely the start. And it only gets worse.
Bucky doesn’t do his movie nights anymore, which means you get the TV all to yourself. You watch what you want, and try not to look at the spot next to you. Where your body feels like he’s supposed to be. You stretch out your legs, but they ache strangely without his touch. You get more restless without him. Around midnight, you shuffle to the kitchen, hoping one of those soothingherb thingys that Wanda says help with her nightmares will be there.
Instead, you find Bucky.
He’s drinking a glass of ice, with a little bit of water. He freezes when he sees you, and moves further behind the counter.
You sigh. You’re too tired to fight him.
“Can’t sleep?” You mumble.
He just nods.
You sigh, and walk over the cupboard.
“You want hot chocolate?”
A grunt. Better than silence. You make two mugs, one for you, one for Bucky.
And maybe it’s just that you’re really starting to worry, but you don’t bother pretending to hate him. Your fingers brush when you pass him his mug, and his body seizes like you shocked him, but you just offer a tiny smile.
His mouth falls open. He stares at you like he’s spent years only looking at the muddier reflection of stars in the water, and has finally thought just to tilt his head up. You let out a small, shaking breath. He’s still burning up. You can feel it from your place a foot away. But you don’t dare to push it.
Not when he’s looking at you like this. The way you’d always, secretly and shamefully, dreamed he would.
“I’m watching Star Wars.” You mumble. “You wanna…”
You trail off, and Bucky’s throat bobs.
He nods again. A new tendril of worry blooms, overlapping with the growing tangle of them in your gut. He might not be able to speak.
But he follows you to the living area, and takes his place on the couch. His knee pushes against yours. He’s breathing awfully shallow, but you’re a selfish coward that wants him close, so you don’t mention it.
You barely pay attention to the movie. All you can focus on is Bucky at your side. How he doesn’t even seem to be sparing the TV a glance. He’s not really touching you, save for that place where your thighs are always pushed together, but every time you shift he grabs your knee. You blink at him, and his throat just bobs. He still hasn’t said a word. You’re afraid that when he does, it will break this fragile illusion.
That he wants to be here.
Near you.
He passes out near the end of the movie. His head falls against your shoulder and his body goes limp, almost a blanket over yours. You don’t move, just staring at a lit up, black screen. He looks more peaceful than you’ve ever seen. His fever isn’t breaking, but it does seem to be easing. You run your fingers through his hair, and he makes a low sound like a purr.
Then he takes a deep inhale, right against the crook of your neck, and a different noise leaves him.
It’s almost a moan.
You swallow. Suddenly you need to move. You don’t know what’s going on with him, but this can’t be what he actually wants. To be asleep almost in your arms, purring and moaning. That’s not a part of him you get to have.
But when you try to move, his grip around you tightens.
You feel almost sick.
It takes almost an hour, to roll off the couch without him pulling you back. When you’re free, you still cover him in a blanket and press a hand to his brow. Just to check. You can’t really help it.
His fever is building again.
You wish he would just tell you what was wrong. Even if he thinks you hate him, he can’t think you wouldn’t care enough to help.
When you start to walk away, he moans again. You could swear it sounded a little like your name.
You force yourself to go to bed. You’re not sure if you want him to remember in the morning.
If anything, you just pray he gets better. It’s hard to hide your undying care for him, when he’s in pain. Impossible to ignore how much it bothers you, that he’s hurting. ‘
But it is Bucky.
And he’s never going to make anything that easy.
You walk out of your room in the morning, and he’s right there. Lingering in the hallway, staring at you with those blown-out eyes, working his jaw like he’s trying to bite his own tongue off.
“Hi.” You say lamely.
He stumbles back like you punched him. “You- You’re-“
“Bucky, are you-“
“’M fine.” He says it mostly to himself again. There’s sweat gathering on his brow and bags under his eyes.
You’re not going to tell him, but you’re getting worried. This is the third morning in a row you’ve found him here. The first night you asked if he’d slept there, and he’d scowled and stomped away.
But from the look of him, you don’t think he’s been sleeping at all.
“Do you need something?” You ask. You sound soft, but you can’t help it. The worse he looks, the more your heart tightens. “I can call Steve-“
“Don’t get Steve.” He steps back. The same jerked movement from the first night. It’s the only way he’s been moving around you, lately. “I’m fine.”
You give him a doubtful look. His tongue flicks over his lips. You take a step forward, and he takes another step back. Like you’ve got a polarity field around you. Like he can’t even stand to breathe the same air.
And yet he’s here. Outside your door, and breathing through his mouth like an animal.
“Bucky-“
“Don’t.” He shakes his head, stumbling another step back. “Just- Don’t.”
You swallow, and don’t give chase when he walks away. Jogs away. He yanks himself away, then runs like he thinks you’re going to catch him and drag him back. You won’t.
But you do go right to Steve.
“What happened on the mission.”
Steve flinches, gagging on his sandwich. You’re glaring down at him with your hands on your hips, and you think he knows his little charming smile isn’t going to work on you here. That doesn’t seem to stop him from trying anyway.
“Hey, um- Do you want a cookie-“
“Steven.” You hiss, and he swallows. “What happened.”
Steve winces, avoiding your gaze. “I’m not supposed to tell you.”’
“What do you mean you’re not supposed to tell me-“
“I mean I- I can.” He mutters. “But then Bucky will kill me. And I don’t want Bucky to kill me.”
You scowl. “Tough shit, because guess who’s going to kill you if you don’t tell me?”
Steve sighs. “Is it you?”
“Yep.”
He stares at his sandwich, like it’s somehow going to get him out of this situation. You wait for him to realize it won’t. You have plenty of time.
“I’m really not supposed to tell you-“
“I really don’t care.”
“Well- You will.” Steve looks up with a sad little puppy eyes.
You don’t have the same reservations about punching him in the face, that you have with Bucky. He’s basically asking for it right now.
“Steven, I swear to fucking God-“
“I can’t tell you.” He cuts you off with a shake of his head, and you scoff.
“No, you just won’t tell me-“
“That’s not- I can’t, okay? Please stop asking me to-“
“Why, because Bucky doesn’t want you to?” You leer. “Because last I checked, you’re the Captain. And if Bucky is your friend, you should be telling his teammates he’s in danger so they can help-“
“That’s the problem!” Steve shouts, and you blink. “You- Look, you’re going to want to help, and I can’t let you.”
“You can’t let me help?” You echo, and Steve winces.
“I know how it sounds-“
“Do you? Because what I’m fucking hearing that your best friend is in danger, and you won’t let me fucking help-“
“Why do you even want to help?” Steve fixes you with a pointed look. “All you ever do is complain about Bucky and how he’s annoying you. I would’ve thought you didn’t care.”
You narrow your eyes, and Steve raises his brows. You know what he’s doing. Smug fucking asshole.
“That won’t work on me.” You grunt, and he shrugs.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Steve-“
“But,” he says causally. “If I did, I’d say that’s why I can’t tell you. And you know that.”
You hate it when he speaks in riddles. Like you’re just supposed to read between the lines when your brain is fogged with worry about Bucky.
“I- I don’t-“ You let out a slow breath, looking down to your shoes. Heat is flooding your cheeks. It’s annoying. “It’s not- I’m just- Please.”
Your voice cracks suddenly. You’ve been losing more sleep over this than you’re ever going to tell anyone. You almost feel ill with it—like the worry is an infection, knotting up your stomach and making your heart pick up—but that might just literal exhaustion. Something happened. No one will tell you what. It’s making you feel useless and hopeless and torn up to tiny, useless shreds.
“Bucky.” You say slowly. “Is- He’s not okay. I know he’s not okay.” You force yourself to meet Steve’s gaze. “Just- Lie to me and say he’s fine, and fix it, or tell me and let me help. But I- I can’t just-“
You don’t even know how to finish the sentence. There’s a burning feeling behind your eyes and a lump in your throat. You’re so worried. Worried this is something that’s going to kill him, and you’re going to lose him forever.
And there’s pity, in Steve’s gaze. It’s enough to make him break, his voice softening completely.
“Alright.” He murmurs. “But- You can’t tell him I told you.”
You nod quickly. “I’ll say I just got into the files, or- Something- Please.”
Steve sighs. “Okay. Okay.” He shakes his head. “It was on the mission. Bucky was distracted the whole time, and when we got jumped he wasn’t being controlled with his punches. He swag to hard on an Hydra agent. Knocked them back into some vials, and- Well they burst. All over both of them. We put the agent in containment, but he was displaying worse symptoms. Bucky- I think it’s the serum, or just… Bucky. But he’s been controlling it better.” Steve grimaces. “But that doesn’t mean he’s not still knocked up with stuff.”
You nod slowly. That’s not that bad.
But Steve didn’t want you to know for a reason.
“What are the symptoms?”
Steve won’t meet your gaze. “Fever. Nausea. Hormone flares. Um- Increased… libido.”
Your eyes widen, your mouth falling open. “What.”
“Hydra makes some weird stuff. Tony thinks this was, um- A breeding drug. We don’t know why they were developing it, but- There’s no other name.” Steve’s nose wrinkles. “The agent- His cell is disgusting.”
“But- Bucky-“
“I told you, he says he’s got it under control.” Steve shrugs, but doesn’t really sound like he’s convinced himself. “The agent has been, ah… begging for anyone. Bucky doesn’t have the same liberty with what will help. He says it’s going to pass, and he’ll be fine.”
“And will it?” You breathe. “Pass?”
Steve shrugs. “It did for the agent.”
“Before or after the mating?”
Steve’s silence is an answer. You swear under your breath.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me this, Steve? We- We need to get him to someone, this could fucking kill him-“
“I know that!” Steve snaps. “I know that just as well as you do! As he does! But- Jesus.” He shakes his head. “He won’t take anyone. He’ll only- Well- You know.”
“I know? I don’t fucking know, none of you have been telling me shit-“
Steve says your name plainly. You blink.
“What-“
“Nothing. Just- Why do you think he’s been lingering around you?”
You stare at him. He raises his brows, and you swallow.
“Steve-“
“I didn’t say anything-“
“Yes, you did-“
“Nope.”
You press your lips in a tight line. He can’t mean what you think he means. That would be to easy. Too good. “Bucky- He doesn’t- That’s not how he feels about me.”
Please don’t say it is. It’s not fair if you’re lying.
“Funny.” Steve shrugs. “He says the same thing about you.”
This is a bad idea.
Bucky hasn’t left his room in a day. You’d spent all of last night replaying your conversation with Steve, trying to pick it apart for a single reason he didn’t mean what you thought he did. What you hoped he did. What you’d always hoped for, only in the dead of night where no one would ever find out.
But it didn’t matter how you turned or picked at Steve’s words. There was only one conclusion. The beautiful, horrible one that you can’t even fully wrap your head around. It would mean you spent years hating him for no reason. Year thinking about kissing his stupid face, when you could’ve been actually kissing him. If Steve’s right, you’re going to kill Bucky.
After you fix this for him.
If Steve means what you think, you can fix this for him. He just has to let you.
Which is why this is a horrible idea. If Bucky turns you down, you’re going to have to quit your job and change your name and move to Indonesia.
But if he doesn’t turn you down…
You steel yourself and knock on Bucky’s door. It’s worth the risk, just for him. Always just for him.
“Fuck off, Stevie-“
“I’m not Steve!” You call, and for a second there’s no response.
Then there’s a muffled banging, and you almost fall forward when Bucky yanks the door open.
He looks even worse than before. And better. And hotter, and oh God, your knees are already weak.
His shirt is gone, and his broad, muscled chest is shining with sweat. His hair flops over his eyes, mussed up and soft looking. He’s breathing through his nose, even as his swollen mouth hangs open. His metal fist is curled against the door, making the wood crack under his fingers. Standing through his sweatpants is the long, proud outline of his cock.
You swallow, your mouth watering. Bucky says your name, and you can’t tell if it’s supposed to be a plea or a prayer.
“You shouldn’t be here-“
“Steve said you need me.”
You stare at each other. Bucky’s tongue flicks out, and you chew on your lower lip. This is it. If he turns you down, you’ll walk away and live. A new life, across the world. You’ve never been to Indonesia, but you hear they have good food and community, and you’re sure you’ll be able to fit right in over time, and if you don’t at least Bucky will never find you to make you relive this humiliation, because it’s been almost two full minutes and he hasn’t said anything, so you should probably pull out your phone and start researching Indonesian names-
“Steve shouldn’t have told you anything.” Bucky growls, and you swallow.
“I- I made him.”
He sighs. You could swear his dick twitches. “Of course you did.”
“I was worried about you-“
“You don’t have to be, doll. I’m-“
“If you say I’m fine, I’m going to fucking punch you.”
Bucky scowls. You scowl harder. You have a feeling neither of you are going to back down.
“You’re sick.” You say plainly, and Bucky lets out a sharp exhale through his nose.
“Maybe. But it’s not the kinda sick you can help with-“
“Steve says it’s the kind of sick only I can help with.”
He’s silent again. You risk a tiny step forward, and he takes one back, muttering your name. It’s a warning. A plea.
“Don’t do this.” He mutters, fists balled at his side. “Not outta pity, not for me-“
“It’s not pity.” You stop in his doorway, making your voice soft. “I want to help, Bucky. Let me help.”
He shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut. “No, you- You just- You don’t feel like that for me-“
“You don’t feel like that for me.” You breathe, and Bucky’s body locks up.
“Who says?”
“You’re an ass to me-“
“You’re an ass to me.”
“I don’t mean to be.” You whisper. “I- I don’t- I’m not good at… You know.”
Bucky’s throat bobs. He still doesn’t move.
“Me neither.”
You nod. “But…”
“Yeah.” He swallows. “Yeah. I do.”
You take a deep breath. His whole room is filled with that musky, spicy smell. The heat is almost rolling off his body.
“Please ask me to help.” You don’t bother to hide the desperation in your voice. He needs to know that you mean it. “I- I want to, Bucky, I want you so bad-“
Bucky muffles your pleas, crashing forward and pressing his mouth over yours.
It’s not the soft, loving kiss of your fantasies. It’s rough and desperate, the kiss of a man finally letting his leash snap. He grabs your neck and scrunches his fingers in your hair, dragging a moan from the back of your throat. It turns into a hungry cry, when he pushes his tongue between your lips. Your knees wobble from the bruising force of it. You grab his shirt for balance, scrunching the fabric between your fingers.
Bucky grunts, pressing further over you. One arm drops to wrap around your waist, and the other slide up to cradle the back of your head. The touch his shockingly gentle, for the demanding way he’s almost eating your kisses. You’re standing nowhere near a wall, but he’s caged you all the same. There’s nothing to do but feel the way his cool, metal fingers dig into your hips, and the unrelenting heat of his mouth.
You kiss until your breathing is ragged. He tastes like mint and salt, and it’s a little addictive. Even after you’re light-headed and whimpering, Bucky sucks on your lower lip and takes just a little more. You whimper, gasping for air that he doesn’t seem to need. He tugs on your hair, forcing you to tip your neck back, and he plants open, hungry kisses over every place he can reach.
“You gotta be sure.” He murmurs against your skin. “Tell me you’re sure, doll, ‘cause- I don’t think I can go easy.”
And oh God, isn’t that lovey thought. Bucky not going easy. Combined with his tongue flicking over a pulse point, you almost fall over from the pure thought of it.
But he’s asking real permission. His hold on your hip is getting tighter, and his shoulders are squared and tense. He’s keeping himself from taking what he really wants, until you give him total permission.
You didn’t know you could want him more.
“I- Oh-“ Your eyes flutter, as he nips on sensitive skin under your jaw before kissing away the hurt. “I’m sure, Bucky, I- I don’t want you to go easy.”
For some reason, that only makes him more tense. He takes an uneven breath, pressing his brow against your head and almost pulling you off your feet as he hugs you tighter. You wait, slowly wrapping your arms around him and dragging your nails soothingly over the nape of his neck.
Bucky draws himself back, his expression unreadable as he scans over your face. You offer him a tiny, nervous smile, and he lets out a shaky laugh.
“You- You got no idea, do you?”
Your face falls to a pout. “I have a lot of ideas-“
“No, you don’t.” He drops his brow over yours. “You got no fuckin’ clue, what you do to me.”
And your brain stalls. It gets all gooey and soft, as you just blink up at him. You’re already on unsteady legs. You never thought he’d catch you if you fell, but with the way Bucky’s looking at you right now, you think he’d dive off a cliff to be at your side.
“Bucky…” You breathe, and he drops his forehead against yours. Your noses bump. His gaze darts between your lips and eyes, and you think you might be burning alive.
“You smell so good.” He mutters, before leaning down to press a soft, sweet kiss to your lips. “Taste better than I imagined.”
“You-“ You almost whimper, when he pulls away. “You imagined?”
He chuckles, kissing just your upper lip. You’re already putty under his hands, and you might turn to just a steam of desire if he doesn’t stop kissing you so softly.
“Didn’t you?”
You nod, and Bucky’s lips twitch.
“Bet I imagined more.”
And you doubt that, but Bucky’s kissing you again before you can tell him that you imagined so much it scared you sometimes. The way you were sure that you’d never be able to recover, from an addiction to a drug you’d never even taken.
You’re certainly never going to recover now. Kissing Bucky is even better than you’d let yourself dream about. His lips are just as soft as you thought. Even with the way he’s holding himself back, his touch is possessive. He traces your sides like he’s trying to memorize them, and kisses you the same way.
“Got no idea what I’m gonna do to, either.” He rasps against your lips. “If you let me, doll… You shouldn’t- But-“ He groans, pushing his nose into your cheek, kissing over the slope of your jaw. “Fuck, I want you to.”
You want him to. You want to feel those sloppy, devout kisses everywhere, to get that infernal tongue between your legs. His cock is almost bursting through his sweats, protruding into your thigh. He’d be heavy on your tongue, and split you better than the toys that you’ve used in his place before. The ache in your core throbs from just the idea, and you can feel your heart trying to burst all out of your throat with confession of desire and adoration. But you’re not sure if he’s going to believe them.
“Tell me.” You whisper. “Tell me what you’ve dreamed about doing to me.”
Bucky pulls back, and you worry you’ve stepped on an invisible landmine. That you’re going to be shoved out of the room, the door slammed in your face instead of behind you, locking you out of the room you’ve longer to be in since you met him. Bucky stares at you. You open your mouth to apologize and take it back, but he loves to move faster than your lustdrunk mind can understand.
You squeal as he walks you backward, but not out of the room. He kicks his door shut as you pass it. It slams, right as Bucky pins you between against the wall. He kisses you before you can protest or ask questions, and keeps going until you’re squirming against him and unsure if you should pull him closer or push him away. His kisses wander your cheeks, over your nose and hairline and back down to your ear.
“I wanted you just like this.” He chokes out, and your swallow. He sounds wrecked, and you’re not even kissing anymore. “Wanted you everywhere. Would see you in a meetin’ and think about bending you over the table. You’d get under me on the training mats and I’d wanna get in a headlock between your legs. Bet you taste so good.”
He shudders, pressing his face into the crook of your neck. His dick has shifted to push right near your core, and it’s almost too much pressure, while not being nearly enough.
“Would sit next to you on the plane and think about gettin’ on my knees.” He rasps, beard ticking against your skin. “Worshipping your pussy like it deserves. Makin’ you- Fuck- Call my name-“
Bucky moans, his hips jerking forward. A tiny moan escapes your lips, and Bucky almost whines and does it again. You don’t think he can help it.
“Wanted to stuff your pretty little lips with my cock.” He thrusts again, his whole weight almost collapses over your body. “You’d get all mouthy and I- I jerk off to the idea of puttin’ you over my knee or gettin’ you lying in my bed. I’d- I’d fuck you so nice, doll, I swear I’d be good, but- Fuuuck-“
He’s rutting between your thighs, and seems to forget the story he’s supposed to be telling you in favor of sucking on your neck. You whimper, pushing your hand between your bodies. Not to stop him—never to stop him—but to wrap your fingers around his cock through his sweats.
Bucky moans, his voice breaking with raw, starved relief. You try to pull him back to kiss him, but he just wraps closer around you. He’s almost shaking. You think he’s trying not to fuck your hand.
You can’t have that.
“It’s okay.” You drag your fingers over the line of his cock, and he whimpers against your neck. “I- I’ve thought about it too.”
Bucky slams forward, and you smile at the air.
“Wanted you to shove me down and fuck me stupid. Wanted to ride you until I passed out. I bought a dildo, baby, just to pretend it was you.”
You use your free hand to pet the back of his head, slowly sliding his sweats down to give yourself better access. Bucky’s thick and heavy in your hand. Your fingers don’t even come close to wrapping fully around, and whenever your nails graze his balls, he bucks forward with a strangled moan.
“Wasn’t as big.” You breathe, stroking his dick in long, tight motion. “You’re so big, Bucky, I don’t think it’s gonna fit.”
He grunts, his teeth grazing your neck. “Gonna- Fuck-“
You squeeze him at the base, and he doubles over. He’s almost fully collapsed against you. You want to feel him come apart.
“Gonna make it fit.” He hisses in your ear, and you hum.
“How?”
“Open you up.” He mutters, words slurred like he’s drunk. “Get you all over me, doll- Wanna watch you cum over and over and- God-“
His dick is twitching, and you giggle. He’s working himself up.
“You think this is funny?” He rasps.
You smile, swiping your thumb over the weeping slit of his dick. “A little. You wanna make me cum but you won’t even touch me.”
He makes an annoyed sound, and tries to push off of you. You tug his cock a little harder, and he falls back over with a moan. You giggle again.
“You- You’re a fuckin’ brat-“
“I’m helping you, Barnes.” You whisper in his ear.
He chuckles, and the sound rolls through your body. “Helpin’ me would be sitting on my face- Fuck-“
Bucky’s whole body shakes, when you squeeze him one last time, and his control slip. You pet him through his orgasm, unsure if you want him to notice how you press your legs tighter to try and get more stains of his cum. He pants and groans against your skin, his lips latching back around that one bruise he seems to be obsessed with.
There’s so much cum. Bucky grinds into your fist, and it just keeps coming and coming and coming until your fingers are sticky and drenched. The idea of him doing that inside you is almost a little terrifying. You’ve never wanted anything more.
A choked sound like your name comes out, muffled against your skin. You smile, leaning back to try and meet his gaze.
Bucky seems to need a second. You hope you didn’t already wear him out.
“You okay?” You whisper, and he tenses.
Bucky pulls back, and your pulse picks up into a drum.
Whatever he’d been before, it had been tame compared to this. His jaw is clenched, his attention fixed on you like a predator. His chest heaves, his hands limp at his side. You swallow, feeling a lot smaller than you did a second ago.
You can’t stop yourself from looking down. It only makes things worse.
He’s bigger than he felt. His cum is dripping down his thigh, and it’s barely been a minute, but he’s already getting hard again. You drag your eyes up the expanse of his chest—all flushed skin and muscle—and realize he hasn’t stopped staring at you. You lick your lips. He mimics the movement.
“It won’t fit.” You says again, but your tone has lost all the teasing mockery of before.
And Bucky’s smirk is dangerous. A thrill rushes through you at the sight of it. You’ve gotten exactly what you wanted.
“Gonna make it fit.” He growls.
You yelp, as he grabs your wrist and yanks you forward. You don’t even slam into his chest before he’s lifting you off the ground with another mind numbing kiss. It’s a distraction. You know that. You don’t really care, though, returning it in a second.
Bucky carries you like you’re a doll, your knees bent like some princess and his warmer arm locked around your waist. He leans over, lowering you to the mattress with a shocking care. For a second you’re fully lost in him. The gentle motion of his lips over yours, the way his hands wander and map your body as he settles you into the mattress.
“So soft.” He mutters. “All that bite, doll, but I knew you’d be so fuckin’ soft for me.”
You’d like to protest, and say that you’re not soft. But Bucky’s kisses are making your head spin, and no single, clear word can make it out of the daze. All you manage is a high, long whine.
Bucky chuckles. His hand pushes under your shirt, almost tickling over your sides.
“You like that?” He tease, his knuckles tracing over the underside of your boobs. “You like bein’ my sweet girl?”
You are not sweet. You try to snap that, but it mostly just comes out a feral grumble. You don’t know how he’s the one with a sound mind right now. You’re not under a sex drug.
You’re just under Bucky. Where it’s very, very warm, and sticky, and nice. His cum is dripping over your clothed core and midriff. You shiver as it hits bare skin, and Bucky smirks against your lips.
“Say it and I give you more.” He rasps. “Say you like it.”
And it’s a game. You know that you like it. He does too. But he’s poking and teasing you, trying to get you spar with him. To get you to play.
So you glare at him when he leans back, spreading your legs wider at the same time. You keep your mouth stubbornly shut.
Bucky grins. He traces the curve of your hips with massive hands, his thumb angling to smear his cum over your navel.
“Look at you.” He mocks. “Beggin’ for me and then can’t even admit she likes it.”
You wrinkle your nose, turning up your chin. Bucky smacks your inner thigh, then rubs his metal palm right over your pussy. The sudden sting then harsh pleasure make your hips push off the bed with a cry. Bucky takes his hand away to splay it on your abdomen, shoving you back down.
“You like gettin’ tossed around, too?” He laughs, and heat floods right to your core. “I’ll toss you around, baby. Make you into a nice little cockslut for me, even let you put my in that pretty mouth.”
He grabs your jaw, and you part your lips in a second. Bucky groans, his cock getting impossibly harder.
“Already listen so well.” He mutters, teasing his two forefingers over your mouth. “Just can admit you fuckin’ love it, do you? Can’t be a good girl and tell the truth.”
You narrow your eyes in defiance, and pretend to bite down on his fingers. It’s not a real bite. Just teeth grazing knuckles. But Bucky understands what it means.
Permission to go further.
His eyes gleam. His cock is already leaking with pre-cum.
“Alright, babydoll.” He rubs your thighs, a dangerous smile playing on his lips. “Have it your way.”
In a single second, Bucky rips off your clothing like it’s paper. You barely have time to feel the cold of the air before he’s grabbing your waist, flipping you onto your stomach, and dragging your ass up in the air. You yelp, fisting your hands in the sheets, and try to twist and see where he is.
A dazed part of your brain that doesn’t remember his hands on your hips sees no one behind you, and almost freaks out.
Then the first stroke of Bucky’s tongue hits your pussy, and you collapse fully into the sheets.
“Oh my-“ Your eyes roll back, as he teases the very tip of his tongue around your clit before dragging it through your folds. “Oh my God-“
“Sensitive fuckin’ pussy.” Bucky muses, and you feel the stubble of his cheek pressing against you thigh. “Barely even touching it. Wonder if I-“
His thumb drags circles just around your clit, and you squeak. He kisses the curve of your ass, going a little fast. You whine trying to drag your own ass in circles to match his motions. You can’t see him. Can’t know if you’re doing well outside of his lips tracing your thigh, and the pleased hums against your skin.
Bucky jerks his thumb suddenly to the side, pushing directly over your clit. You scream, your knees sliding back. Bucky grabs them and pushes them back up, fully exposing your pussy to the air.
“Look at you.” His breath is warm, over that most sensitive spot. “Bet I don’t even need to fuckin’ prep you. You’re so wet, you’d just…”
He makes a deep, rumbling sound, and you almost sob as he drags his tongue right back between your puffed pussy lips. You clench around nothing, his stubbled scraping your clit. Bucky angles his face, letting his tongue flick over your clit. It goes back and forth and back and forth, toying with it before pressing flat. He sucks, hard like a lollipop, and you almost sob into the mattress.
“Sweet.” Bucky whispers, his metal arm wrapping around your legs. “So fuckin’ sweet.”
“Bu- Bucky-“
“Shhh.” He kisses right over your pussy. “Wanna taste, pretty girl. I gotta fuckin’-“ He moans, and the vibration shoots right up your spine. “Gotta taste-“
Bucky presses his face fully into your cunt, and the sound that leaves you almost isn’t human.
He’s good at this. So good at this. It’s a little unfair. Your mouth can’t do anything but hang uselessly open, as Bucky works his jaw against you. He eats you like he’s starved for it. Like he’s a man that wants to drown of an insatiable thirst.
Two hands hold you up in the air, as his tongue plunges ruthlessly in and out of your cunt. You keen, trying to push further back, and the warmer hand wraps up to your spine and shoves your stomach down. It’s a tighter fit like this. Bucky drags his tongue around, and it hits every sensitive area. His beard tickles and scratches, and cold fingers tease your skin.
You get more and more sensitive, with every flick and suck and groan. You’re so wet it’s almost drooling down your legs, mixing with the stains of cum he’d gathered from your midriff and smeared over your legs. The dual heat with his cold hand makes all your nerves stand on end. You pussy clenches again, and Bucky chuckles.
“That’s right.” He mutters, making out with your clit as you gasp for air into the bed. “That’s it, baby, you’re already lettin’ go, aren’t you.”
You whine, and Bucky nips at your ass.
“Aren’t you?”
“Ye- Yes.” You mumble. “’S good, Bucky- So good-“
“I know.” He grunts, pressing his cold, metal thumb down into your clit. “Fuck, baby, I know.”
You whimper, and Bucky starts up on your dripping pussy again. He’s lapping at it, pushing his tongue into your tight hole as he plays with your clit, and white lines your vision.
“I- I’m gonna- Fuck- Bucky-“ You scratch at the sheets. “I’m gonna- Oh God-“
He smacks your clit, spits onto your pussy, and resumes with double the effort. You cry his name, as your orgasm wracks your body. You can feel yourself seizing around him, twitching and writhing in his tight grip as your vision lines with white.
And Bucky doesn’t stop. You’re making a mess all over his face, and he’s rising up, but it’s just pushing you further into the mattress. You whimper, your cunt too sensitive, but he doesn’t even come up for air.
“Shit- Bucky- Oh- Ohhhhh-“
The ache quickly fades into pleasure again. Blinging pleasure that’s just on the wrong side of too much, but pleasure all the same. You squeal, and Bucky just moans against your cunt.
Then you hear it. The slam of his fist against his cock.
He’s jerking off while he eats you out. He’s fucking himself so hard you can hear it, hear the slap of skin, feel all his little moans and grunts right against your pussy, and the thought sends you right over the edge again.
Bucky moans louder, as you cum on his tongue. Just like before, it seems to make him more and more feral. You have a feeling what lucidity that let him tease you before is gone. He’s eating you out the same way he’s kissed you, with rough lips and a fervor that’s almost animalistic. You’re boneless and whimpering into the sheets, taking it over and over as Bucky just keeps working his mouth against your cunt, and fucking his hand.
Then, suddenly, he’s gone. You whine from the lose, trying to roll over and look at him, but he just shoves you back down with a growl. The sound of his hand is getting faster and faster, and a hot weight drops over your back. Bucky presses his face into your neck, and takes a deep breath. You whimper, and he groans. His hips must be rocking, with how the bed is shaking.
“Smells good.” He rasps. “Gonna- Fuck-“
Bucky snaps back up, and you feel him cum more than you even hear it. Hot ropes spurt over your ass and back, seeping down the back off your thighs and into your pussy. You moan at the sensation, pushing back on trembling hands. There’s always just more of it, until you’re so marked up with him you’re sure you’ll never be able to wash it off.
You don’t want to.
With how Bucky grabs your hips and spreads the stain over your skin, you don’t think he does either.
“Shit.” He breathes out, and you hum in agreement. “Gotta- Flip for me, c’mon-“
Bucky helps you roll over. His touches are gentle again, but the gleam in his eyes hasn’t faded. You blink at him, flat on your back with your legs spread. Bucky traces the lips of your cunt, then slowly pushes two fingers inside you. Fucking his cum back into your tight hole. You mewl, eyes fluttering. Your head tosses back, and Bucky smiles
“Good girl.” He coos.
You try not get all gooey and weak just from the praise. Bucky laughs, and you think you might’ve failed.
“Strangling my fingers, doll.” He teases, pulling them right out.
You whimper. You’re too wet and ready not to take something. It’s really not fair to make you wait.
“I know.” He kisses your brow, voice rough. “Trust me, I fuckin’ know. You just gotta tell me you like it, then-“ His cock drags between your folds, and you keen. “All yours.”
You blink at him, opening your mouth to comply.
But you’re at an advantage.
Bucky’s hard again. His body is wound so tight above you, and his every word is thick. Like it’s an effort to speak. He’s still trying to fight against the drug running through his veins.
You want him to give in.
So you close your mouth, and give him a defiant glare.
Bucky growls again, and there’s no more teasing.
His mouth pushes over yours, and it’s not a loving kiss. It’s rough and quick, stealing your breath in seconds and distracting you as Bucky grabs your knees and shoves them back. You try to chase his lips, when he pulls away, but he shoves you back down with a grunt.
“Wanna be a brat.” He grunts. “Gonna get fucked like a brat.”
You almost beam. Yes, please.
Bucky folds you under him, your knees pressed to your chest and your cum-stained pussy on full display. He doesn’t waste time, tapping the head of his cock against your clit before slamming right inside. You’re so soaked you take it with only a hitched breath, but that doesn’t mean your eyes don’t roll back.
He hits right against you pelvis, when he bottoms out. His heavy balls sit on your ass, and the stretch of him is just enough pain to heighten the pleasure. Bucky kisses all over your face as he lets you adjust, but your pussy is greedy. He’d prepared you too well. You’re more than ready within seconds.
“Bu- Bucky-“ You gaps out, and he growls against your neck. “Move.”
If he’d told you to wait, you wouldn’t have been surprised.
But the drug seems to have overtaken him again, and all you get is a noise like a snarl against your throat before Bucky draws almost all the way out, and slams back in.
The air is knocked clean from your lungs. This time, he hit right against your g-spot, and your whole body seizes up. Bucky makes a low, deep noise, and repeats the motion. Again, he drives right into that gooey spot deep inside of you. You clench around him, and he doubles over, rutting deep inside of you.
“The- There-“ You whimper, fingers scrambling in the sheets. “Fuck, baby, right there-“
Bucky grunts an agreement, and starts to fuck you into the mattress. The angle is so deep you’re worried he’s going to permanently rearrange your guts. Every slam of his cock into your makes you see heaven, and Bucky pants over your, his eyes locked onto yours as your face contorts with pleasure.
He’s not even fucking you like a brat. He’s fucking you like a doll. He grabs at your limbs and moves them below him like you’re just a sleeve for his dick, and he needs you into just the right spot. One hand fists in your hair, forcing your neck a little up so you can watching your arousal gleam on his cock every time he pulls out. He moans every time he pushes back in, and you watch your cunt swallow his dick whole. A wet, smacking sound filling the room as he drills into you. He bends you even further to kiss over your neck and breasts, his tongue dragging in rhythm with his dick.
You try to clench around him every time he bottoms out, but your head is sort of empty, and now you’re just a drooling pussy around his massive cock, moaning his name and happily milking every bit of pleasure.
“Oh- Oooooh-“ You mewl, smiling like a cockdrunk idiot at the air. “Buuuucky-“
His mouth presses back over yours, and the kiss is strangely soft. His fucking hasn’t slowed or relented, but there’s a care with how his lips move over yours that makes you feel worshipped.
That’s what he’d said he’d do. Worship you. And you can really feel it here.
Bucky draws back, and the hand that had been fisted in your hair moves to your jaw. He squeezes again. You open for him easily, and his lips twitch.
“Good girl.” He coos, even if the words are tighter than before.
He spits into your mouth. You swallow obediantly, and open again when he squeezes your cheeks. Bucky slams forward with a groan, looking like a man wrecked.
“You fuckin’ like it, don’t you-“
“Love it.” You gasp, unable to even think to deny him again. “Love you, Bucky- Oh- Oh my god-“
Bucky makes a ragged, choked sound, and cums almost without warning. Your mouth falls open in a silent scream, as he pumps you full of his release. It feels like even more than before. Like you’re going to burst with how full you are, spurts of it still being forced out as Bucky fucks you through. You’ve never felt so totally claimed, with him all over every inch of your skin. He kisses you and you giggle, dazed and almost high on the feeling.
And he’s not even done.
The period of lucidity between orgasms gets shorter before it gets longer. Bucky’s ability to control himself almost vanishes all together. You get a kiss and broken mumble of your name before you’re being flipped back onto your stomach and fucked from behind. There will be handprints on your ass and thighs in the morning, and the sheets are stained with your drool from how Bucky railed you from behind.
You’re dragged into his lap right after, and he pushes his thumb into your mouth, then ruts up into your gaping cunt. You’re all moans and ditzy smiles by that point. When rolls you back onto your stomach and sits up on his knees, you just take it with moans and giggles and cries of delight.
He hasn’t just ruined you. He’s pulled you apart a million times over, until you’re just a puddle that sings his name.
You don’t even fully realize he’s done, when he kisses pulls out that last time. You whine, and clench around nothing, but expect to get filled right back up.
Then Bucky kisses you, and it’s slow. Savoring and sweet. Romantic. His voice is hoarse, but it’s lost the strained quality. He’s fully teasing again, smiling against your lips.
“So soft.” He coos, rubbing your thoroughly abused pussy with his warm hand.
You writhe, trying to get further and closer at the same time. Bucky chuckles, and kisses the corner of your mouth.
“Jesus, doll. You’d think you were the one that got sex drugged.”
You try to glare at him, but forget why the moment you see his pretty eyes, shining on yours.
They’re blue again.
“You’re back?” You breathe, and Bucky grins.
He ducks down, and presses another quick kiss over your lips.
“I’m back.”
You’re ordered not to move, while he cleans up. You don’t think you could if you tried. Your body is jelly, everything is sore in the best way, and your head is spinning with too many thoughts of what the fuck happened.
You told Bucky you love him. You told Bucky you love him. You’d never even fully admitted it in your head and he just fucked it right out of you. You said it fast, too fast, he thought you hated him four hours ago and now he must think you’re some kind of freak for just saying you love him.
He makes you drink water and go to the bathroom. Draws you a bath and brings you a snack and changes the sheets. You manage to find the strength to stand out of the tub and dry yourself off, wrapping the towel around your body before shuffling out in the center of his room.
God, he’s so handsome. All tan muscles and scars you want to trace with your tongue. Too bad you fucking blew it, and now you’re never going to get to touch him again-
Bucky turns, and smiles when he sees you. You swallow, bracing for the worst as he crosses the room.
He takes your face between his hands and kisses you. Deep and gentle and maybe he just forgot-
“Love you too.” He says against your lips. “Just- Uh- While we’re saying it.”
Oh.
Or that. That’s nice.
You throw everything you have into kissing him back, but end up tackling him down onto the bed with the sudden surge of strength. Bucky chokes out a laugh in surprise, wrestling you over onto your back with kiss and wandering hands. You giggle, trying to push back, and he nips at the tip of your nose.
Then he pauses, and pulls up with a small, worried frown.
“You’re stayin’ the night, right?”
You almost snort. There’s no getting rid of you now. You’re going to stay forever, and as long as he’ll allow after that.
“Yeah. I’m staying.”
✦End note: this was longer than my college thesis btw. and i. put more effort into it.✦
✦If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3✦
Based off the out of practice drabble I wrote a while ago which you can find here, also on my masterlist which you can find here!
Word count: 2091.
Warnings: Unprotected sex, dry humping, being scared of sex, just Bucky being unable to handle a naked woman in general. Fair few mentions of bodily fluids, general bad language, slight breeding kink mentioned, bucky gets called a good boy. Female reader described with golden skin & curly hair but that’s about it for her description.
Enjoy!!
You hadn’t been together long, a few months. Four blissful months of the sweetest dates, constant compliments, never opening your own doors or pulling out your own chairs, of sweet, chaste kisses goodnight after said dates. Bucky was the perfect gentlemen.
But he knew times had changed, and he knew that society operated by a much different set of rules now than back in the 40s, the last time he was a regular man. Which is why, on your second date (after you’d invited him back to your place for some drinks) he had made it abundantly clear to you that he was fucking hopeless.
“The fourties’ were a different time,” he’d started, “Sex wasn’t— well it was sacred, I guess. Man and wife, one before God. It wasn’t this, this casual thing people do. I’ve— I’ve only done it a handful of times, and I didn’t have a clue. God knows I don’t have a clue now.”
So you waited. You never took it further than a light makeout (no tongues, bless him), some hip-squeezing, maybe, but only after you moved his hand to be there, only after you made it abundantly clear that he was allowed to touch you.
Until now. Four months in, after another lovely date, a picnic, him reading to you as the sun set over a park, a brief night stroll through the city and him walking you to your door, where you manage to convince him inside for a coffee. Where you sat next to him as you watched some old noir gangster movie on the telly, legs draped over his lap while you both forget the drinks on the table. His thumbs press into the arch of your feet, working at the skin absentmindedly. Still serving, even when he doesn’t realise it, you think. You can’t stop wondering about his hands elsewhere while you watch his thumbs work; up your thighs, circling your chest, wrapped around your neck. It makes you squirm.
“You okay?”
“Mhm, just want a kiss, please,” you sit up, smiling all sweet and pretty at him, he can’t refuse. His hand gently cups your jaw as he presses his lips against yours, the two of you moulding together. Your legs shift ever-so-slightly, one pulling you over his lap, pyjama shorts riding up just an inch, but it’s enough to make his brain freeze up.
“Is this okay?” You ask, watching a flush creep up his neck. He can’t bring himself to answer you, so he nods. You’re too soft. Your skin, your hair, the smell of the coconut body cream you use every evening, he feels overloaded. He also feels heavy, weight rising between his legs as he looks at your face, all innocent like you hadn’t orchestrated every single second of his agony.
The tank top slips off your shoulders, revealing a little cotton bralette, white against sun-kissed skin, and he collapses. Well, not really. But he’s certain that if he was on the floor he would’ve collapsed. He can’t bring himself to open his eyes when you place his hands on your ass, squeezing one for him, muttering something under his breath about disrespecting you.
You chuckle at him, kissing his cheek before kissing his mouth, tongue just about swiping over his mouth to see if he opens, and he does. He’s shy, unsure, but he’s always been a quick learner. Before you can even think he’s sliding his tongue right over yours, licking into your mouth, groaning against you.
You undo your bra, and he gasps. His brain on overtime, thanking every higher power he can name for the blessing that is the beautiful woman draped on his lap like his own personal trophy, tits out and pebbled in the cold air of her apartment. You have to guide his hands again, have to let them grab at your boobs before his brain clicks into place again, thumbs brushing over nipples, watching your mouth as you gasp. He watches your lips fall apart, hears the tiny exhale of air, and feels himself twitch between your legs.
“I don’t wanna fuck this up,” he mumbles, his head dropping against your chest.
“You won’t, hon. I promise. You trust me?” He nods, still not looking at you. “Good. Take your pants off.”
You climb off him, slipping your own shorts off as he rids himself of his tshirt and sweatpants, and settle right back on him when he sits back down. All he can think of is the heat of your body pressed all against him, the sweetness of your nighttime shower routine infiltrating every sense, he would swear to a jury that he’s drowning right now, in long limbs and curly hair and pure body heat.
He’s too caught up in the scent of you, he barely notices the way your hips start to move down against him. He can’t bring himself to look away from the wet patch on your underwear rubbing against the bigger wet patch on his, his mouth open and panting, just a little. His hands find your hips again, dragging you just a little harder, just a little closer, each time, until you can physically feel purple spots forming under his fingertips, groaning at the slightest hint of pain.
You kiss his open mouth, tasting the sweat on his upper lip, but you don’t stop moving, definitely not when his clothed cock is rubbing against your clit just right, and you can feel the warmth in your lower belly. Your hands tug at the hair at the nape of his neck, teeth nibbling on his lip before smoothing over it with your tongue, sliding it into his mouth before he registers anything.
He’s so sweet like this, you think. Sweaty, blushing, all whispered moans and heavy breath, unable to take his hands off you. You don’t have the time to tell him he’s beautiful, that you love him, that you want him to effectively breed you starting now, because he cries out, his head hitting the back of the sofa as warmth seeps between the two of you, his boxers devastated.
“Not,” he pants, “not fair. At all.”
You giggle then, as he lifts his head back up, kissing him like you can’t get enough of his mouth. His fingers pull at your underwear, accidentally ripping them in the process when he forgets his own strength.
“Bucky!”
“Sorry, baby,” he smirks, “We’ll go shopping tomorrow. Just show me how to take care of you first.”
He looks up at you with a reverence you believe no-one has ever seen before. His eyes are glinting, literally sparkling in the lowlight of your living room, hands draped casually over your upper thighs, thumb stroking at the slit of your cunt. He’s not thinking, why would he be if there’s a naked woman — his naked woman — right in front of him? His thumb presses down just a little and you spread your legs wider, letting him touch you properly.
He looks down then. He can’t help but blush, it’s in his nature. He wasn’t sexually advanced in the fourties’, let alone now. Everything’s wet, he thinks, and pink. His forefinger spreads you open, thumb still touching whatever he can see, until he finds the spot that makes you gasp.
“There? Does that feel good?”
You nod, eyes not moving from his fingers, not believing the luck you have watch him touch a woman for what may as well be the first time. His thumb presses harder, just a bit, starting to move in slow circles. You ask him to go lower, just a smidge, and whimper when he does, and you can feel yourself growing slicker.
“Are you always this… wet?”
“Just when we kiss,” you admit, “you can put a finger inside me, you know.”
“Oh. I don’t— what?”
You stifle a laugh at his expense, and show him what you mean. Guiding his finger toward you, dragging it up your slit again, coating it in your wetness, you guide the very tip to your entrance.
“Good, now push.” And so he does. Slowly. Every callous, every scar, every inch of his thick finger dragging up your walls excruciatingly slow, until he reaches knuckle.
“Good,” you breath out, “You’re doing so well, Buck. Just gotta move now, okay? Curl it a little, like if you were— oh.”
His finger drags in and out slowly, curling just a little, dragging right over that spongy little spot inside you, making you moan. You grab at his shoulders, asking him to go faster, to add another finger, to do more. So he does. Like a good boy, the thought echoes in your mind and you save it for later; he’s following every instruction — like a good boy. He adds a second finger, pumping into you, his metal thumb over your clit, aching to hear you gasp again.
And you do, eyes fluttering closed, your brain not computing how fast he’s learning, thighs trembling as he stares straight at your face, committing everything to memory.
“Bucky, I’m—”
“Good, that’s what we want isn’t it? Want you to feel good,” he mumbles back, efforts not ceasing until your body jerks, gushing out around his fingers, collapsing into him. He catches you with one arm, cradling the back of your head when his fingers pull out, covered in you. He doesn’t think about what he’s doing when he brings one to his mouth, licking it like a kid would after getting chocolate everywhere.
“You okay?”
“Yeah! You’re uh, a very fast leaner.”
He smiles at you, wrinkles by his eyes, leaning forward to kiss you again, the faint taste of you all over his tongue. He’s still hard, and you’re still wet, and there’s no stopping your hips from moving against his again.
“Can we, y’know?” He asks, voice quiet, trusting. You nod, cupping his jaw, hand tracing the slightly greying stubble on his face, while the other frees him from his boxers.
He’s big. Not painful-big, but definitely fill-you-up-snug-big. You wrap a hand around him, stroking upward, letting your thumb swipe over the leaking slit, and under the head, hitting a particularly sensitive spot that makes him moan.
Shifting along his lap, rising to your knees, you guide him along your cunt, swiping through all your wetness before pressing the tip inside you. You look at him, eyes meeting yours as you sink down in his, gasping at the stretch. You can feel every ridge, every vein, pushing into you, eyes barely stopping themselves from rolling to the back of your head. You settle down, and he’s biting his lip, fighting every animal instinct he has to just fuck you, trying to let you lead.
You rise up, and sink down, shallow at first, just getting used to having someone inside you again, not taking your eyes off of his beautiful sweaty face.
“If you wanna move, Buck—”
“Don’t wanna hurt you, don’t know what I’m doing,” he manages to get out through clenched teeth.
“Do whatever,” you groan, knees already slightly achey as you wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your forehead to his. He kisses you, letting his hips thrust up to meet yours, moans pouring out of the both of you, slipping into each other’s mouths. There’s no more talking, just breathy moans and skin slapping against skin as his hips move just a little faster, cock hitting deep inside you.
You’ve stopped moving by now, just draped in his lap, his arms wrapped around your waist as he pounds upward, skin damp with sweat. You clench around him, a whine ripping out of you as he shifts himself on the sofa, hitting deeper.
“Shit, sweetheart, you c-can’t do that,” he groans, nipping at your jaw, slightly too hard when you do it again on purpose this time, well aware he’s about to come again. You dig your nails into his shoulder when his thumb rubs at your clit again, chasing your orgasm before his own, your body spasms in his lap, jerking forward again as you moan, wetness pouring out around him that makes him lose all control. Load after load of his come pouring into you, back around him, forming a delicious, depraved, ring of white around the base of his cock as he drags it in and out the last few times, decades of pent up energy unleashed inside your unsuspecting body.
“See? Not so hard,” you pant, kissing him, feeling him soften just a little inside you.
“We’re never leaving this place,” he groans, picking you up, carrying you off into your bedroom.
paring: bucky barnes x gf!reader (can be read as gn but more fem)
warnings/tags: angst, established relationships, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, very little miscommunication, mainly bucky being emotionally constipated, reader isn't much better, communication issues, eventual happy ending and domestic fluff, some swearing.
wc: 3.5k
summary: you and bucky are not good at talking about the things that hurt. him especially when it comes to his past.
an: based off of this request and doors by Noah Kahan. i kind of feel like i butchered this request but i read it and then did my own thing and then was like oh crap. anyway hope this is okay :) cc is appreciated
The coffee pot sputters and spits as it lets go of the last few drops of warm brown liquid, while the smell of powdered sugar drifts through the kitchen.
Bucky grabs a mug from the cabinet, hesitating for a breath before setting it down again.
You’re in the middle of making pain perdu the Sarah Wilson way, moving easily around the kitchen, humming a simple, repetitive tune. You always loved making extravagant breakfasts on Saturday mornings.
Bucky finally pours the coffee into his mug. The steam curls over the edges and wraps around the handle. He puts three sugars in the coffee.
He used to drink it black.
You'd wrinkled your nose the first time you saw him do it and declared that anyone who enjoyed coffee that bitter couldn't be trusted.
Two weeks later he found himself reaching for the sugar bowl, just to try, of course.
He never told you.
Bucky takes a sip of coffee, watching your every move. He should say something. He wants to say something. Anything. He should tell you that your hair is sticking up in the back. Tell you that he loves when the kitchen smells like cinnamon. Tell you he loves you. But he doesn't. He just watches as you continue the repetitive task of making breakfast.
You look up when you feel his eyes digging holes into the back of your head. "What?" you ask as a soft laugh escapes your lips and a familiar heat rises to your cheeks.
"Nothing. You're just… being you."
"Is there a problem with that?" you grin over your shoulder.
His mouth twitches like he's trying not to smile back. "No."
"Then why are you staring at me?"
"…Just thinking."
"About?"
He exhales through his nose. His shoulders tense beneath his blue t-shirt and his jaw works as he looks anywhere but at you.
"Bucky?"
"I'm fine."
"You don't look—"
"I said I'm fine."
You set the whisk down. "I'm just trying to make sure that you're okay."
"Then stop."
The words hang heavy between you.
Neither of you move. He doesn't look up from his coffee.
The sunlight spilling across the floor seems to lose all its warmth, leaving only the cool bite of the tile beneath your bare feet. The pain perdu hisses, forgotten on the griddle until the scent of cinnamon is slowly overtaken by the smell of something sweet burning.
"…shit."
You reach for the spatula, scraping the now charred slice from the griddle into the trash. The lid falls shut with a dull, metallic thud.
You stare at the empty space on the griddle for a long second; longer than necessary before reaching for another slice of bread.
"I'm not hungry."
His voice is soft, barely above a whisper.
The fresh, egg-soaked slice of bread hangs suspended between the your fingers above the griddle.
"James…"
"I've asked you more than once not to call me that."
The bread falls back into the custard with a quiet splash.
Your mouth opens, then closes. Once. Twice. A third time. Every response slips away before you can catch it.
He picks up his mug.
You watch him cross the room and lower himself on the couch. It's not far from the kitchen, but it's never felt further.
One single, white plate sits on the counter with more than enough breakfast for one. You reach for the Steen's Cane Syrup. The sticky, yellow tin stubbornly gives up the dark syrup in long, slow ribbons.
Sam had shoved it into Bucky's hands before the two of you left Delacroix, insisting that it would "ruin maple syrup" for both of you.
Now it's making everything sticky.
You don't sprinkle any powdered sugar on the bread. Your fingers hover over the shaker, then slowly lower it back to the counter.
He sits just a few feet away, but he looks at the carpet, never once moving to look up at you.
Your eyes stay fixed on him, burning with unshed tears. "Did I—"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Please don't shut me out." your voice wavers as you speak.
The silence settles over the room like a blanket of snow. The pain perdu grows cold as your fork picks at it. You slide the plate into the refrigerator for later before turning the sink on hot enough to burn your hands. The bubbles that fill the left compartment of the sink carry the sickening smell of dish soap and it turns your empty stomach. Custard and syrup coat every dish in the sink. One after the other, you scrub. The burnt sugar refuses to let go of the griddle and you almost break the smiling Scrub Daddy trying to get it off.
"…for fuck's sake."
You whisper, exasperated.
Throwing the stupid smiling sponge into the sink, you decide to let the griddle soak.
The rest of the kitchen isn't much better, but the crisp November air begs you to lace up your running shoes and get out of the stuffy apartment.
You shut the door to your shared bedroom, not wanting to face the storm cloud sitting on your couch, and change into the comfiest running clothes you own. When you open the door, you see him standing in the kitchen, washing the dishes you didn't finish.
"I'll get those when I get back."
His head whips around. His blue eyes are softer than they were before, and every line on his face seems deeper, etched with some type of worry.
"Where are you going?"
"On a run."
"When will you be back?"
"I don't know."
"That's not a real answer."
You pinch the bridge of your nose.
"I don't have a plan. I'm just going on a run."
"Why?" he asks, his voice growing increasingly soft. "You never run on Saturdays."
You sigh. A long foreboding sigh.
"I just need to get out of here."
His eyes drop back to his coffee.
"Okay." his voice is small.
You cram your foot into your running shoe and reach for the doorknob.
"Be careful… please."
The door clicks shut behind you.
Outside, Brooklyn is very much alive. Cars pass and people walk down the street. You adjust your shoe for the second time. A leaf falls in front of your feet. You take a deep breath and finally start running.
The air burns your lungs, and the wind chaps the tear streaks on your cheeks. Your feet hit the pavement again and again.
Left.
Right.
Left.
Right.
Was he telling the truth?
Left.
Does he even want me here?
Right.
Was I trying to open a door to a room he didn't want me in?
A woman walking her golden retriever walks by on the other side of the street. A dad with his baby in a stroller walks over to meet his husband sitting on a bench. Two kids are swinging on the swings at the park on the corner. A wannabe influencer records herself trying a pumpkin spice latte from your favorite local shop.
That was the shop that you dragged Bucky to, making him try the entire fall menu. You fell in love with the butter pecan latte, and he tolerated the honey cinnamon tea. The two of you sat at the table last November, his jacket around your shoulders, and multiple drinks in front of you. He kept stealing sips of your drink by pretending he was going to hold your hand. It made you laugh every single time.
"Hi, what can i get started for you today?" the teenager at the register asks.
"One medium hot butter pecan latte… and is there a way that I could pay for a hot honey cinnamon tea now and pick it up on my way back? Or should I just order it later?'
"Oh, um. It might be better to come back and pay for it later. My shift will end and things like that kind of get lost here. But if you're willing to try then by all means."
You hesitate and glance toward the door.
"No, that's okay… I'll come back for both later. Thank you, and sorry."
The barista nods and motions for the next customer without another word.
Around noon, the air hasn't gotten any warmer. Your lungs still burn and now your whole face feels chapped. Running without a plan isn't something you normally do, but somehow you've ended up at the cemetery where Bucky's parents and sister are buried.
You adjust the flowers on Rebecca's grave and brush off some leaves from his parents. The first time he had taken you here was on your six month anniversary. He didn't speak at all. He cleaned up all the graves and then sat there staring at them. On the walk home you asked him why and he told you "I have too much to say to them so I just listen instead." Deep down you knew it was because he's not the son, not the brother, they would recognize.
Now you do the same.
You sit in the cold grass, just looking at the stones and picking at blades of grass. Thunder claps in the distance, telling you that you need to go home. But your shoes are suddenly too tight and your legs grew sore sitting. The smell of the coffee shop clings to your clothes and the wind blew strands of hair into your face.
That familiar stinging builds behind your eyelids and your throat gets tight. A single tear slips out and runs along that chapped track. You take a shaky breath as another clap of thunder echoes across the gray sky.
As you stand, your legs wobble beneath you.
One foot in front of the other.
A fat rain drop plops right on top of your head. Just make it home.
It starts to drizzle as you reach the sidewalk outside of the cemetery. You're not running anymore; moving slower than your average walking pace.
The bell above the door rings as you walk back into the coffee shop. The place is mostly deserted now that it's raining, so you linger in the back, pretending to look at the menu before walking up to order your drink and Bucky's tea.
"Hi welcome in, what can I get for you today?" the barista, one you see regularly, asks.
"Just one medium hot butter pecan latte and a medium hot honey cinnamon tea, please. Could you please make the tea extra hot, I've got to walk back home with it?"
"Of course."
Waiting for your order, you slide into the corner booth and look out the window. The rain is coming down slightly heavier now. The leaves on the concrete sidewalk are soaked, sticking to the shoes of people who walk on them. Umbrellas dot the sidewalk, reminding you that you had the misfortune of not checking the weather before you left.
The faint sound of jazz hums throughout the shop, it's probably something that Bucky would like. Something he would turn on to dance around the apartment with you.
You are pulled out of your thoughts when two drinks are placed in front of you. The two white paper cups with the brown cardboard sleeves are warm to the touch. A small stream of steam escapes through the tiny hole in the lid.
A small, polite smile grows on your lips. "Thank you." you practically whisper.
The heat from the two cups warms your chilled hands as you set off back to your apartment. No umbrella. Just the cups to keep you warm.
Is he even home?
Would he want to talk to you?
The thoughts rattle in your brain, bouncing from one side to the other with every step. No amount of walking could clear out this mess. They follow you all the way up the stairs to the second floor of the building and right up to the door.
Setting your coffee down on the hallway floor, you reach for the doorknob only to find out that it's locked. Your knuckles rasp against the wood in a quick rhythm.
"Bucky, please answer the door. I don't have my keys."
Silence echoes on the other side.
"Please."
Nothing.
You knock again, louder this time. "Let me in. I know you're in there."
The deadbolt on the other side flips, but the door remains shut.
You stare at the door, rain water dripping from the ends of your hair.
"Are you fucking serious?"
Nothing.
You laugh once, but there's no humor in it.
"You lock me out now?"
The door opens a few inches.
Bucky's face appears in the gap. His eyes are red and his face hold so much exhaustion.
"I didn't lock you out."
"You locked the door."
"I needed space."
"Then tell me that."
He looks away.
"I did."
"No." you snap, the words are sharper than you intended. "You told me to stop asking questions."
Your voice cracks.
"That's not the same thing."
"Well it's what I meant."
"I'm not a mind reader, Bucky."
"Neither am I."
You look down at your soaked shirt. The two cups, yours still on the floor, have cooled off by now.
"Can I come in? Please?"
Or do I get shut out of the apartment too?
You bite your tongue before the rest of that thought slips out.
The door opens fully; Bucky steps to the side. You reach down to grab your coffee.
"I got you a tea… figured you might…" you swallow. "Nevermind."
"You didn't have to."
"I know."
He turns and walks off, his boots heavy on the floor. You stand there, a small puddle forming around your feet, shivering just slightly.
The sound of him approaching makes you lift your head. He holds out a towel from the bathroom with his right hand.
You reach for it and your fingers brush. You know you should thank him, but the tightness in your throat won't let any words out.
He goes back to his spot on the couch. You don't follow. The rain taps against the window. The kitchen is spotless now; there's no trace of the breakfast mess from earlier.
"…I thought you were leaving earlier. That's why I locked the door."
Your head whips around as soon as he speaks.
"You thought I was leaving?"
He nods.
"Why?"
"Because you said you needed to get out."
You look down at the coffee in your hands.
"I needed to get out of the apartment, Bucky. Not your life."
He looks up at you. His blue eyes glisten with tears. His Adam's apple bobs as he tries to swallow whatever emotions are bubbling beneath the surface.
"You should leave."
His voice is a whisper. It hits you all the same as if he would have shouted it at you.
Your own voice breaks as you speak.
"Do you want me to?"
He lets out a quiet sob. "I don't want to hurt you."
A single tear escapes your own eye. You don't wipe it away. You let it run down that chapped track one more time. "That's not what I asked." you whispered.
You pick at the skin around your thumb. The apartment feels too small, yet you still feel too far away from Bucky. His eyes are glues to his shoes. His right leg shakes. All you want to go do is place your hand on his knee, like you always do.
"I don't want you to leave…"
His eyes never meet yours.
"Then why should I leave?" your words are a little sharper than you intended.
"Because I'll hurt you."
"No you won't."
"Yes, I will."
He shoots up and paces in front of the couch. His hand runs through his already messy brown hair. His bottom lip trembles, but no tears or sobs escape him now. Nothing that would make it easier for you to walk over there and comfort him.
"You don't understand."
"Then help me."
"Why do you care so much?"
Your eyes drop to his shaking hands. Tears flow freely and small gasps of breath are all you can manage. He stop pacing and looks directly at you. Standing up, you take one step closer.
"Because I love you."
He angles himself away from you.
"That's not enough."
"It has to be."
"It can't be."
You're not trying to hold it together anymore. Your sobs are ugly and you wipe at the tears fiercely.
"It's not enough? The love that makes me want to fight for you? For us? It's not enough?"
"You don't know what you're saying."
"Then tell me. Please."
His hands shake harder.
"You see me when I'm like this and you still think you know me."
You shake your head. "Bucky—"
"You don't." his voice cracks. "You see me make breakfast. You see me drink your coffee. You see me sleep on your couch. You don't see what happens when I wake up."
He swallows.
"You don't see when I can't tell where I am. When I wake up screaming and I don't know what year it is."
His eyes finally meet yours.
"You don't see me sleep on the floor when the bed, when sleeping next to you, doesn't feel safe."
Your breath catches.
"You don't see the things I remember."
He looks down at his hands.
"I remember all of it."
He sobs once.
"And I don't want to remember your face when I finally lose control."
You reach for him, but he moves away.
"One day you're going to see all of it."
His voice drops.
"And you'll look at me differently."
You let out a sound like a wounded animal.
"Is that what you think of me? That I'm just here for the sunshine and rainbows and the first time it pours I'll walk away?"
The rain hits the window harder.
"Look at me Bucky."
He doesn't.
"I am standing here, soaking wet, because I came back for you."
His eyes flick towards yours.
"I went to see your family today."
That catches his attention. His bloodshot eyes zero in on your tear stained face.
"I went there because I know that's where you go when you don't know what to say."
Your voice breaks.
"Don't tell me I don't know you."
He moves one step closer to you. His right hand shakes as it reaches for your hand. He doesn't lace his fingers with yours, he just rests it on top of your fidgeting hand. Tears hit the floor as his blue eyes search your face.
"Let me see you."
"I've closed that door from you."
"I'll keep knocking."
His breath shudders. His head finds its way to your shoulder. Thunder claps outside and the north wind whistles in the walls of the building. Your hands move to wrap around him. Your right hand cradles the back of his head, while the left presses into his back.
You move to the floor, just holding him, allowing him to sink fully into you. You match your breathing to his and gradually slow your own until he begins to mimic your breath pattern. His eyes stay shut. His hands fidget with your hair and the fabric of your shirt. His lips press against your neck and shoulder, anywhere he can reach.
"I've got you."
"I'm not good at this."
"I never asked you to be, Buck."
The day comes to an end. The rain stops just in time to reveal the last of the sunset. Bucky still won't come near you. Not during dinner. Not when you sit on the couch to watch TV. Now you lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering if maybe you pushed too hard, or maybe he just doesn't want you in that part of his life.
As you settle in, a yawn breaks free and the door creaks open.
“Can I sleep in here tonight?”
You sit up straight. The six-foot man suddenly looks like a scared child standing in the doorway of your shared bedroom.
“Of course.”
He pulls back the comforter and gently lowers himself into the bed. The mattress dips beneath his weight. He doesn't reach for you yet.
“I didn't think you'd just walk out on me…”
You swallow.
“I know… I never would.”
You pick at the comforter.
“I didn't think you'd actually lock me out.”
He brushes the hair away from your forehead.
“I know. I'm sorry for locking you out.”
“I'm sorry for running away.”
He pulls you to his chest.
“You do… you do want me there, right?”
He cards his fingers through your hair.
"I do. I just don't always know how to tell you.”
You trace his jawline. "I just need you to tell me when you're struggling. And I'll tell you how I feel before I just leave for a run."
He presses his lips to yours, never going any deeper, just a way to seal a promise without words.
You curl up against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. Allowing yourself to be lulled to sleep.
Summary: Some bitch at work flirts with your husband by baking for him. Frank makes sure it never happens again. You make sure Frank never forgets who’s the sweetest. And the tightest.
Warnings: jealousy, slight angst, hurt/comfort, explicit smut, jealous/possessive sex, biting/hickies, matched freak sex, table sex, standing sex, breeding kink, size diff, cock stomach bulge, dirty talk, lowkey funny ending bc you gotta be silly with the love of ur life, pwp. 18+ only. MDNI. Reader is always a consenting adult. smut written while listening to this banger
w/c: 7k
MASTERLIST
requested by a moot via DMs that wishes to remain anon 🤎
One of your favorite things to do is to surprise Frank on the job. Hell, it’s one of his, too, even if he’s got to fend off the drooling, indecent rats he works with.
But today?
Today you get a surprise.
And you’re not very fond of it.
Through the white haze of the sun, you walk from the gravel construction lot and to the prefabricated office building. Nothing more than a box of four walls and two screen windows by the door. Inside, just as bare. A water jug, a portable AC unit for the manager (perks of being up on the ladder, eh?) and a desk that’s usually empty. But, when you can’t get ahold of Frank—like today—this is where you check on the off chance the site manager’s around and he’ll retrieve your husband.
The heat brings flush to your cheeks, neck. The wind over the metal skeleton landscape slings bits of dirt into the grease-sponged brown paper bag you swing at your side. It’s not much, but it’s all you could manage over your thirty minute break at work. Frank’s favorite sandwich from the deli downtown.
Nearing the door, though… voices carry from the prefab. You scuff to a stop, ear tilting to listen.
“Jeez, Pete, it’s not a cookie eating contest,” says a feminine voice; one of velvet and easy confidence and breathy laugh. “I made them for you, big guy.”
Pete. Surely there are other Petes. Peters. Whatever. Surely it’s not your Frank someone else is baking cookies for.
“Mm,” but it’s your husband that hums, his mouth obviously stuffed. “Shit’s good. Real good. Ain’t had some ‘a these in a while.”
Okay. So. It is your husband. And she called him big guy. What the fuck? No other woman needs to be calling your husband big guy.
“Well, you said they’re your favorite, and they’re easy enough to make, so… I figured, why not?” A little pause, like maybe she’s watching Frank, relishing in his satisfaction. “…You like them?” A lift of her tone, seeking approval… seeking your husband’s approval.
“Yeah,” Frank says. “Yeah, real good. Did a nice job on ‘em.”
“Thaaanks!” she chimes, and you’re almost sick imaging what kind of smile she has plastered to her face right now.
Whoever the fuck this is. Last you checked, women didn’t work here. So— who the hell is she? Frank’s done nothing wrong. It’s not him you’re worried about. But you’re not blind, not stupid.
“So you said it’s been awhile, Pete. Since you’ve had any of these. I’m only here part-time. I bake a lot in my free time. Why don’t I bring you in some stuff when I can? You can be my taste tester. I get to bake, you get to go less than a while without cookies and such. How’s that sound?”
Face cinching with a scowl, you brace for the answer.
“Sounds like ‘m gonna get fat,” Frank huffs. “Wife ain’t gonna like that.”
“I have a feeling it’d just turn to more muscle on you, big guy,” carried by an undercutting laugh at your mention. “Well, then your wife should be the one feeding you, not me—”
Before the conversation skins you alive, your shoes stab up the two grated stairs and yank open the flimsy prefab door.
In a whirl of wind, dust, and threat, you appear with the shriek of hinges.
Old tactical memory—to react to surprise—Frank whirls to face the door, fists around a cookie and a plastic cup of water.
And there, at the fucking desk— her. Whoever the fuck she thinks she is, making your husband cookies. “Uhm, ma’am—?” Comes a polite scoff instead of who the fuck are you?, but Frank’s the one to answer with a low, praising whistle.
“Hey, there she is,” he says, a smirk pulling sideways to show his teeth. “There’s m’girl. Look at ‘er, huh?“ Frank discards the water and cookie on the desk like yesterday’s news: old, over it. He makes room for you, on you as you make the step in, his hand finding yours to help you up. Wired for you. “Showin’ up here, wearin’ m’favorite shirt like that, Jesus— how I get so lucky, huh?“
“So lucky,” you reiterate with your chin tipped up to him, a burning attention fixed entirely on Frank hot enough it singes the air. The mildew of the AC recycles the sweetness of the cookies; the stench of undermining. “Luckier now, since I’m feeding you, hmm?” And you hold you the brown baggie with the stiff raise of your brow, a smile too rigid. “I’d hate if you had to get full on junk food.”
Bag in his periphery, his eyes leaving yours for half a second to confirm it’s a sandwich from that deli down on Main, Frank’s expression sparks. “I got th’ best wife, huh? Tell these guys all th’ damn time. Best damn woman I ever met. Still dunno what she’s doin’ what an asshole like me, ‘less this’s m’last meal.”
“Well, it’d be a way to go,” you say, too tight. “Dessert before real food.”
Frank falters, but before he can question the tension in your cheeks, the subtle lashings of your tongue, she interrupts. A forced clearing of her throat, the chair rolling in place for attention.
The gentleman he is, Frank’s attention does divide. Two more seconds, though, his eyes linger on you. Trying to dissect the ice in your stare, the scrunch of your face.
“Hey, uh…” Frank opens up, but keeps you tucked snug into his side. “Marissa, this’s m’wife. Sweetheart, this’s Marissa. Temp site clerk.” Frank gestures an introduction.
Wrecking ball sounds more fitting, you think.
The worst part is she’s… pretty. Ridiculously pretty. Your stomach flops over, inverts like it might dispel your breakfast. A seemingly flawless complexion only few people are blessed with. A long sheet of silk for hair, hiked into a neat, slick ponytail so it swishes an intoxicating pendulum when she moves her head. You wedge deeper into Frank’s side, standing tall. Unmovable from what’s yours.
“…Hi.” She forces a smile.
“Hi.” You don’t.
And nothing else follows. Nothing but the nasty humidity of possession; a tangible ick of a woman’s place being challenged. Not threatened. Challenged.
Sensing the tension (repulsion) in the air from either side, Frank shifts. Holds you closer, bounces you a bit.
“Say, uh… Marissa made these cookies here,” Frank says, nodding at the plate on the desk. “Ain’t bad. Try one, yeah? You’re the cookie expert. See what you think, huh?”
You glance at the cookies. At Marissa. A flick of cold indifference in your eyes. Then back up to Frank. God, he’s so handsome. Handsome and oblivious. Quiet delight in his dark eyes, in the crinkles in the corners of them that only appear at the sight of you. Damn him. So you shrug. Take a step to grab one without leaving Frank’s side, lips in a cutting smile.
Marissa rolls her eyes elsewhere.
You don’t. You stare. Unrelenting. A threat that doesn’t require speech. And you take a bite.
“Mm,” you hum, moving the cookie you don’t chew into your cheek. “Tastes like the prepackaged cookies from Walmart. Using real ingredients’ll take that right out.”
You’d like to say it didn’t bother you that much. Earlier. Marissa. You’d really like to. But your heart rate hasn’t gone down since noon, your responses come out all bark waiting to bite, and Frank knows to tread lightly—just doesn’t know why.
You sit posted up on one side of the couch, back on the armrest. Chin high, face of stone angled away, bundled into yourself under a blanket, eyes glued to the television without giving a rat’s ass what’s on. The only place you allow Frank to touch are your feet, and he dragged those over into his lap himself minutes ago.
Frank… Oh, your husband reads you like a book. One in simple English, magnified text, because your attitude speaks volumes without a peep. Big paws knead your feet in his lap. Thumbs drive into the sole of your foot as he blinks glances from the tv, to you. Tv, you. He doesn’t say anything. He’s waiting for the right time, questions on his tongue, suspicions stuck behind his teeth.
“Would you like some real dessert?” You finally offer, the question baited with petty contempt. Not towards Frank.
It gets his full attention. Hands work your feet, but his head turns to fully look at you. All icy reluctance and clipped words coming full circle. Confirming the suspicion. “…S’a weeknight.”
“And?”
“You don’t bake on weeknights.”
“Want me to start?”
“Sweetheart— why’d I want that, huh? Think ‘m some kinda asshole? ’Spect you t’come home after workin’ all day t’make me dessert?” Frank huffs at the thought, faint shake of his head.
“Yeah, but would you like that? Someone that does come home after work to whip you up some store-bought crap so you’re not going unfed?”
Now Frank stops. His hands go motionless. Eyes slit. “You mad over that? Her makin’ cookies?”
“It’s not making cookies. She’s flirting, Frank.”
Frank’s in the middle of scoffing a laugh, but the look you give shuts him the fuck up. His brows pitch up, face screwed. “…That’s flirtin’?”
“Frank.” You face palm. “Good god, yes. That’s the equivalent of pulling your pants down and sucking you on the spot.”
“S’a, huh, lil’ extreme, sweetheart—”
“Frank. It is.”
“…So, uh…” The memories rewind, his eyes searching ahead. “All those times before we…” vague hand gestures to signal fucking, getting together, admitting feelings, whatever, “…you baked f’me… you was flirtin’? ……….with me?”
Deadpan disbelief, you blink at him. “…Are you seriously just now realizing that?” Yes. The silence says yes. “…God, it’s a good thing you’re not single.”
“Alright.” Frank nods slow understanding. “So you’re mad ‘bout that. You mad with me?”
“Not mad…” you mumble, brows pinched as you find the right words. “Okay. Maybe mad, yeah. Mad somewhere along the way you said I wasn’t baking them, that she found out they’re your favorite so she felt the need to take it upon herself to satisfy you.”
“Satisfy—? Christ. Ain’t like I asked f’any ‘a that—”
“I’m not saying you did. That’s not the point. The point is she thought of you enough to remember that. Go to the store. Spend money on them. Buy them for you. Bake them for you. Bring them in for you. You do realize that’s some pretty intentional flirting, right?” You ask, both brows hiked up to drill the essence of your case across. “It’s not a harmless joke or even a comment about your rugged good looks. She put time into this. Planned it.”
In slow motion, it unfolds. His brows smooth out. His jaw unlocks. His mouth opens, but it’s for a small inhale to help finalize the message between the lines.
“I don’t like someone else feeding my husband like he’s some neglected stray that needs attention,” you say as he processes. “No one else should ever think they get that right.” You scoff, take your feet back to burrow into yourself. Blanket at your chin, glaring at the D-Day documentary instead of him. “And I hate she did. And I hate that you enjoyed it. And that you didn’t realize they’re the bullshit refrigerator cookies that taste like stale dog ass.”
Normally he would’ve chuckled at the language. Right now he just nods. Looks down. Gnaws his bottom lip. Hands empty on his thighs, he offers them up in a yeah, you’re right. He says it, too. “Yeah, sweetheart,” hoarse with realization. “Yeah. You’re right. No one’s got that right but you, hm? Ain’t no one compares t’you, know that? Yeah. You’re my goddamn everythin’. Give me everythin’ thought I’d never have. Shit I don’t deserve.”
Jealousy’s an ugly monster. And when she leaves? She leaves a sickening guilt behind, residue jellied to your insides. Face falling to that guilt, frowning, you look down at the blanket; a safe space from the pound-puppy look you know Frank has. “Don’t say that…” you mumble, the fire diminished. Smoke in its wake. “You deserve every good thing. And I try to give you all of them. All that I can, anyway. Sometimes I think I get so caught up in the day-to-day I forget. Forget how easy it is to whip up some brownies or cookies or whatever just to say I love you. Because it’s the small things like that, that speak the loudest… right? And I do, god, I do… I love you so much, Frankie. It made me sick seeing someone else so… so… lit up by you.”
“Baby… C’mere. C’mon. Come t’Frankie, yeah?” Both legs spread wide, he pats his thighs. Wants you close. Wants to hold you, feel you, love you.
You fervidly shake your head. How’re you supposed to melt into him when you’ve been a bitch the entire night? When he’s so fucking sweet even after you’ve been so fucking sour?
“Look at me, sweetheart.”
Nuh-uh nuh-uh nuh-uh.
“No?” he asks. “Alright. Fine.”
“Eee! Frank!” Jostling as he yanks you across the couch, a gentle manhandle as he tucks you in a cradle for a comforting timeout.
Frank paws the blanket around your arms, under your chin. Tucks you comfy in the curve of his arm, your body draped over his lap. So sweet, so gentle you do nothing but lock your mouth shut. Quieted by his determination for resolution, your glare softening with reluctance.
“You’re it f’me, sweetheart,” he says, finger scratching under your chin. “No competition. You. M’ number one. You got me, I got you, yeah? How it’s always been. Ain’t gotta worry ‘bout nothin’. No one, hm?”
Cheeks hot from Marissa irk, you huff, eyes slanted away. He’s right. You know he’s right. It doesn’t make it any easier to witness someone actively providing a service for your husband. “It’s not you I worry about. I trust you. I don’t trust her.”
“Said you trust me?” Frank settles back between the cushions, your rigid weight defrosting over his chest and stomach. He waits for you to nod. “Then you gotta trust I’ll handle it, sweetheart. Trust your man’ll handle it?”
You don’t know what handling it looks like. He won’t punch an innocent (unfortunately it’s not criminal to flirt) desk clerk. So what will he do? God it pisses you off. Being in this situation. Some dumb bitch thinks it’s okay to spend money on your husband, bake for him, even dare to soil your name like you don’t cherish him enough because you haven’t made cookies in a while.
“Hey.” Frank bounces an arm, getting you from your thoughts. “Asked you a question. Trust me t’handle it?”
“Yeah,” you mutter, a fierce thought spearing through your mind. If you can’t get rid of Marissa… you’ll make sure she’s never even a thought. “I know you’ll handle it.”
You’ll believe it when you see it.
In the meantime?
You have your own plan.
Frank’s intentionally loud when he gets home. Finagles the key in the lock so the ribs scratch and click. Rattles the doorknob unnecessarily before actually turning it. Scuffs and stamps his boots, the sound streaking through the house. Works better than any doorbell ‘cause it’s personal.
When you hear him?
Shit.
Always come runnin’.
Frank loves the way you slide into the hall, feet goin’ too damn fast for polished wood, body fishtailin’ as you bulldoze straight into him after a day apart.
Today, though…
Today Frank comes in. Made all his usual noise. Didn’t work. Nothin’. No you. So he made more noise. Sniffed. Huffed. Cursed. Even coughed. Hacked up half a goddamn lung, still— nothin’.
Shuffled to a stop in the entryway, Frank pauses. Listens. Drone of the kitchen fan. Squeak of the dish washer. The smell, though… His nose takes to the air, nostrils flexing in their search. Cocoa… sugar… Warm oven air fannin’ out from the kitchen.
Baked.
You baked.
Christ. That can’t mean anythin’ good. Not after yesterday.
“Sweetheart?” he calls.
Two… three… four…
The seconds tick up in time with his worry.
Seven… eight… nine…
“Frankie?” Ultra sweet, drifting down the hall from the kitchen.
Longest ten seconds ‘a his goddamn life.
His shoulders deflate, a sigh of relief puffing his cheeks.
“You alright in here, sweetheart?” He asks while in motion; an intuitive navigation to you. “Didn’t hear me come in, huh?”
Jesus. He ain’t in the dog house. He’s in the fuckin’ pound, huh?
“Dessert,” Frank repeats, a wary amble through the hall, light at the end showin’ him an empty stove. “‘Fore dinner?”
“Mmmhmmm… Figured you could use a real treat. You want a treat? Would you like a treat?”
Rounding the corner with the roll of his eyes, “Baby, I ain’t a fuckin’ dog—”
You prove him wrong.
The sight? Stuns him. Stops him dead in his tracks, mouth open ‘cause he’s either speechless or might start barkin’ like a fuckin’ dog. Whatever comes first. Drools beats both, saliva submerging his teeth.
You. On the table. Dolled up in black lingerie. Black lace. Silky legs dangling. Crossed at the knee. A hand propping you up, nails ticking a leisurely click.
Beside you. Cupcakes. A full platter. Pink cups. Perfect top over the crinkled paper. Dark chocolate cake. Icing swirled high and tight. A dark, fat cherry the color of sin in a pillow at the peak.
Your eyes pin Frank’s, relishing in the way he looks back over his shoulder like he walked into a dream instead of his own home.
“Welcome home, honey,” you say with a hum, casual as you pluck a cherry from the icing by the stem. You twirl it in your finger and thumb, head tilting so your hair falls. “Are you… hungry?”
“Jesus,” his throat slinks, eyes roving you. “Fuckin’ starved.” Downright hypnotized when you inhale the cherry between your puckered lips, trapping it between your teeth for a slow… devastating… tempting… delicious… crush.
A spurt of red juice trickles down your chin as you chew. “Oops,” as if it’s not your plan when the sticky sweetness slides down your neck. “You wanna… get this for me, baby?” you ask, lashes batting innocence.
Frank’s feet carry him to the paper towels, but he can’t stop looking at you. Is it a game? A threat? A test? After last night, it can’t be a reward.
…Right?
“Ah-ah,” you correct as he goes to rip a towel off. “Don’t waste one of those. You can clean me up yourself, can’t you?”
Say less.
Frank approaches like he’s waiting to catch trip wire. A cautioned excitement scuffing his boots to a stop in front of you, towering over you where you sit. His tongue traces slow over the line of his upper lip, eyes everywhere. Every inch of your face. Following the line of juice where it stops on your throat. The swell of your tits in the lingerie. So fuckin’ beautiful he’s not sure he’s allowed to touch. Tries anyway. Both hands lift, an automatic reach for your breasts, but stops himself. Eyes you for permission.
“Waited all day to see you like this,” you tease, grin lopsided, quieter under the weight of his wonder. “Don’t make me beg for it.”
Frank musters some decency. Remembers the task at hand. Using the curve of his bent finger, he eases your chin up, baring your neck. Enthralled when the column moves. A slow, rolling swallow under delicate skin.
“Whatchu doin’, huh?” he asks, question hot against the subtle mound of your throat. “Sittin’ here like m’last goddamn meal.”
Your head falls back, eyes closing. “Reminding you there’s no place like home…”
His tongue pads a small sweep over your adam’s apple, tasting cherry-sweetened skin. Lips latch, sealing the saliva with a kiss disguised as good-natured. “Ain’t no place like home,” he mumbles against you, skimming along the juice line with a pointed tongue, planting an open-mouthed kiss every inch.
You’re getting lost in it. The gravity of intention in his touch. His hands smooth over your sides, thumbs spanning lazy arcs to memorize the soft lace rasping under his worn hands.
He kisses up to your chin. Nips the round of it. Hovers his lips over yours, the last spot he needs to clean. He waits there until you bat your eyes open. Look up at him, all soft surrender decorated in lace.
Both of you wear the same expression: hazy lust, the apologies of yesterday.
“Still mad?” he asks, a hand holding your jaw, fingers lightly squishing your lips.
“Mmm… not really,” you murmur, words slurred.
“Not really ain’t no, pretty girl. Lemme ask again…” a pause, the two of you sharing the same hushed, hot breath. “You still mad?”
Your shoulders bunch gradually. “A bit. I don’t like her, Frankie.”
“You ain’t gotta worry ‘bout her—”
“I know…”
“You don’t. Didn’t lemme finish. Gonna lemme finish, hm?” Soft, no bite. He gives your head a little sway by his hand, smooshing your mouth up more.
You nod, bunching your hands in the front of his shirt.
“Requested a site transfer. Got th’ transfer.”
You snap upright. “What? Frank, I didn’t mean to—”
“Sh-sh. Didn’t do nothin’ wrong, pretty girl. You had a problem with somethin’, I handled it. S’how this works, yeah? I ain’t gonna keep us ‘round trouble. Ain’t gonna worry you like that. Told you that, day one. Trouble don’t always look like blood ‘n guns, baby.” A warmth in his stare down at you, face hovering yours. The smallest tug of a smirk softens his face. “Trouble looks like that goddamn Walmart cookie dough ‘n tastes like stale dog ass.”
You laugh, cheeks pudging under his fingers. It spurs him.
“Huh? Yeah? You like that? Trouble lookin’ like bullshit cookies ‘n tastin’ like dog ass? Yeah, there she is. There’s m’ girl.” He leans the rest of the way down. Slots your lips to his though you’re mid-laugh. A firm mold claiming you as his number one, promising again, through actions and words, you’re always first. You taste like cherries and powdered sugar icing—the real stuff, nothin’ from the fridges. Forgiveness has a taste. It’s this.
Frank tastes like gum and coffee. Safety has a taste, too. It’s him.
Separating in a quiet, reluctant smooch, Frank grazes a finger back and forth over your lips. Slow. Content. “Where else you got cherry juice, huh? Where else I need t’get?”
You uncross your knees, the movement getting Frank’s attention, and when it does…
“Fuck, you been sittin’ here like that th’ whole time?” Standing between your knees, the realization so profound it’s painful, Frank licks his lips at the sight of the crotchless lingerie. Puffy little pussy on display, waiting for him, right there on the goddamn table. A wet glisten already on your folds. Access to the main course while the rest of you stays gift-wrapped.
You catch fire under his blatant stare at your bare cunt.
He licks his lips, eyes snapping to yours in a blink. No play. All hunger, a necessity to satiate himself on the taste of your pussy as your thighs break his neck. “Wider, baby. Spread ‘em wider, yeah? Gotta fuckin’ taste you.”
Little movements, you shake your head.
“No?” Frank’s brows jerk up. Maybe this is punishment. “Ain’t wantin’ that? Alright, sweetheart. Alright. How ‘bout you ride my hand, huh? Make a mess on me ‘fore I fill you up, yeah?”
His hand dips down but you snatch his wrist. “No. No, Frank, please. I want you to feel how tight I am for you. I need you to feel this, please.”
A groan lodges in his throat, a sound of borderline agony. “Baby… I gotta,” hoarse, his brows knit up, pained honesty. “You know I gotta otherwise it don’t fit.”
Your knees latch over his hips, fingers digging into the tabletop. “Make it fit.”
His eyes go black, devoured by hunger. “Don’t know what you’re askin’ for,” he pushes through his teeth, hands kneading the crease of your thighs as he drags you against him.
A rattled breath leaves you, your wet cunt pressed against the taut denim of his pants. You leave a glistening streak over the dark wash. “I’m asking you to make it fit, Frank. Please.”
“Goddamn it…”
You know Frank’s magic words. You know Frank can’t deny you.
Your hands fumble for the hem of his shirt, shoving your palms up his abdomen. “Off,” you pant, a frenzy of anticipation. “Off now.” You’ve never had your husband like this before— never without his hands working you open first.
You’ve tried. It just… doesn’t fit. He’s too big. You’re too small.
Hand in the collar of his shirt, Frank hauls it over his head. Throws it on the stovetop, burner still warm.
You dive for his belt, tearing his hips side to side in your struggle.
“Got it, baby, got it,” Frank mutters his assurance, replacing your hands with the swift solution of his.
The buckle jingles; the prelude to what’s yours. Pants and boxers go down together, the vein-threaded rod of his cock bowing free and heavy.
Just as his clothes are shed in a heap, you perch on the edge of the table, legs gathering him, ankles hooking above his ass.
Frank lines himself up. Uses a hand to wedge the tip over the slick of your folds, coating the leaky slit, other hand planted on the table behind your ass to cage you there with him.
Chest heaving, cunt aching, twitching with the swipes of his head, you hook your arms around his neck.
“Ready, baby?” he asks, all heat and husk.
You nod quick bursts, words lost and dried up.
“Breathe, baby, alright? Don’t f’get t’breathe f’me. Gonna get you open f’me. Make it fit, alright? Make you sit real nice ‘n pretty on it—”
Agony equal to bliss, your eyes widen, your chest inflates with a searing gasp as just the fat tip of Frank’s cock splits the vise of your cunt. Your spine springs a deep arch into him, nails flying to his shoulders to dig into the meat—to cling.
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ—” Frank hisses through clenched teeth, face contorted like he’s malfunctioning under the pressure, the slick defiance of your cunt. His eyes cross from the wet clamp. Flared nostrils, bared teeth. A snarl of overwhelming euphoria as he tries to feed you another inch. “Breathe f’me, baby, c’mon. Relax, huh?” One hand blankets your lower stomach, his chest heaving as he pauses. Relaxes with you, an instruction for you to follow. “You sure ‘bout this, baby? Want you comfortable, hm?” The hand from your belly cradles your face instead, fingers extended into your hair, thumb pushing rough assurance over your cheek. “Wanna make you feel good. Don’t wanna be hurtin’ my pretty girl.”
Teeth chattering, body trembling, you lean into his touch. “Please, Frank…” a velvety whisper, a desperation popping out your collarbones. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
Surrender to your please, Frank’s forehead drops against yours. “Tell me ‘f it’s too much, yeah?” A low rumble. “You tell me. Ain’t nothin’ you gotta prove like this, alright? Nothin’.” A hand kneading the crease of your thigh, the other dragging down the lace-lined curve of your spine with reverent patience. “Love you, pretty girl.”
Your cunt pulses around his heavy tip once—he grunts, jolts.
You gasp, hum. “Love you so much, Frankie.”
And brace.
Frank dips his head. Scoops your mouth into a slow, crude kiss. All tongue between your lips, drawing yours out. Spit slick and deliciously warm, your tongues lap and lips suck around each other. Greedy, sloppy kisses of ownership.
“Fuck yeah, baby,” Frank groans into your mouth, his hips rolling a persistent nudge. “Fuck, feel so good.”
Arms winding around his shoulders, head dropped to the side, you suck his bottom lip into your mouth. Free it by raking your teeth over the flesh on the draw back. “More.”
“Yeah? Gonna fill you up. Ain’t gonna have room f’more,” he pants, eyes hooded as he marvels over the spit-sheen on your lips, the string draped between your mouths. “Spit on it f’me, hm? You do that, pretty girl? Spit ‘n I’ll give ya more.”
Breathless, lust-drunk, you nod quick agreement and peel back. Head dropping, your eyes widen when you see how he tries to conjoin you. Engorged veins cinch down his shaft, the first two inches (all he can fit right now) coated in your slick. In careful ruts—so fucking careful you whine—he pushes the hot clench of your cunt to open you up.
Frank meets you there, his head bowed in sheer awe as you both admire the tight fit, the near-impossible stretch of your pussy for his cock.
“Yeah, baby, yeah. Love how you take m’fuckin’ dick. So fuckin’ good. Look at ‘er,” he says, a thumb skimming your folds to graze them apart as he tip-fucks you, rub your arousal over the soft, sensitive skin. “C’mon baby, you forget you need t’spit on me, hm?”
Taking everything in your mouth, you pucker your lips. You drop out a cord of spit spanning from your pretty lips to his shaft, drizzling over him in thin spins until it all pools down.
“Ooh, that’s it, attagirl,” Frank praises in a ragged breath, thrusts picking up with the added slip. Tendons in his neck wire. Muscles in his forearms carve out, hands locked at the crease of your thighs. Pushes his cock in deeper, pushes through the strangle of your pussy around him. “Fuckin’ chokin’ me baby, huh? Pussy’s chokin’ me, fuck.”
“F-fuck!” You cry, body jolting once with the electric on of feeling him everywhere, prodding your guts. “Fuck, I told you, Frank. T-told you. So tight. So tight I didn’t think you’d fit—”
“—almost there, baby, almost, c’mon—”
“So tight around my own fingers, Frank, fuck—had to- had to feel you like this.”
He growls. An animalistic heave of possession; a starvation stemming from your confession. “Touchin’ yourself ‘fore I got here? Huh? Playin’ with that pretty pussy ‘fore I got home?”
“Couldn’t- couldn’t wait—” you pant, hands everywhere on him. Tearing through his hair, nails piercing his shoulder blades, clawing down the sides of his neck. “Thought about you. This. All day. All fucking day, Frank. Had to feel how wet I got just from thinking about you.”
A harder slam of his hips—punishment, praise. Reward for you in the stretch that sucks your breath dry, parching the cry leaving your lips.
“You cum?” he grits, yanking you so your ass teeters the very edge of the table. Forehead smashed against yours, mouth panting open and salivating for yours. “Make y’self cum without me, hm?”
“No,” you adamantly shake your head, knees spurring his ribs. “No. Just- just felt. One finger! That’s all. I was so fucking tight I needed you to feel, Frankie. I waited on you. Just like this. Just for you.”
Sweat slipping your foreheads, Frank grunts, hips rolling greedier, short snaps as the last. inch. goes. in—
“Oooh-ahhh! Frank—!”
Stuffed until you choke on the sob in your chest, body seized by an outburst of brilliant pain, a sharp sensation of such fullness you’re complete.
“Fuuuck, baby,” Frank grits out, head bowed to gape at how your cunt throbs around every fat inch. Cunt pressed flush to his base. Fit so perfectly, a bulge prodding the lace over your lower tummy where his cock banks. “Pussy’s so fuckin’ perfect, baby, so fuckin’ tight. Look at you. Look at that. Every fuckin’ inch in that tight little pussy. Still breathin’, baby? C’mon. Breathe f’me.”
You do. You listen. Small huffs. Stunned hums. A tumbling, breathy laugh as you look down and see how you sheath him.
“Feel your fuckin’ heartbeat ‘round me, baby,” Frank murmurs, lips grazing the corner of your parted mouth, “yeah, feels so fuckin’ good. Ain’t no one made f’me like you.”
Perked through the lace of the lingerie, you graze your nipples over his chest, a feline arch to your back. The cupcakes wait within reach. Ass perched on the ledge of the table, arms draped over his shoulders. Frank’s both your rescue and your ruin. You shimmy your hips just to hear him grunt a curse, feel the jump of his cock as it sits an idle pipe inside of you. Blindly reaching over, you scoop a glob of icing onto your finger. Head tipped back, you hold it an inch from his lips and his eyes cloud black. “Then fuck me like no one’s made for you but me.”
Without blinking, Frank leans that one inch in. Opens his mouth. And swallows your finger to the goddamn knuckle.
Your eyes widen, breath catches. As you begin a lewd, languid retreat of your finger, Frank flattens his tongue. And sucks. Drags off every bit of icing as your joints come out in a slow, spit-shimmering leave and pop off his lips. Stomach fluttering, eyes sparking— you’re done for.
And so is he.
Instinct over thought, you both clash. Both find union in desperation, in the hot vulgarity that hunger breeds.
Bodies tacky with sweat, both you grind. Frank stays buried inside of you, ruts into you, unwilling to leave the rapture of your pussy.
Shaky moans spill from your mouth and into the strong slant of his neck. Your hips curl down, out, in time with his, chasing the friction, the galvanizing totality of your husband.
A filthy slow motion, your swollen clit grinding the coarse hair at his thick base. Smears a white cream circle in his hair, frothing over his cock.
It starts low in your belly. The squeeze. The exhilarating, white-hot panic from overstimulation. Watching as his cock shifts under your lace, feeling the tip knock the deepest parts of you; places no one has ever touched—places no one else can reach.
The table creaks, legs scraping resistance thrust by thrust until it drives into the wall. Pinned—just like you. Nowhere to go. More leverage for Frank to wreck you.
“All fuckin’ mine—” he slams in.
“Mine.”
Slam.
“My pretty fuckin’ wife.”
Slam.
“Pretty fuckin’ pussy.”
Slam.
“Cum on my cock, baby, c’mon. Cum f’me, hm? Gettin’ close. Feel it, way you’re suckin’ me, yeah, fuckin’ love it.”
“Frank!” you cry out with urgency, clawing every conceivable place on him—biceps, chest, eventually sinking into his shoulders—as your world starts to plummet. Legs quaking. Stomach quivering. Eyes fluttering back. Then, softer, a plea you know he’ll answer: “Hold me, Frank, please, hold me while I—”
His arms form an immediate cage around you, unbreakable and unconditional. The safest place for you to fall apart in. Him.
“C’mon, pretty girl, c’mon— cum on m’cock, baby.”
The wet slap of skin. The pouring heat of sex and sweat and possession. Intoxicating lust teetering explosion as he rocks into you, hair scraping just right over your needy clit, arms an enclosure until—
“Oooh, Frank! Frank, I’m—!”
Cumming. Bliss, straight in his fuckin’ ear. Moans a fuckin’ choir, his name a prayer as you fall apart, climbing him for relief until relief’s all you have and you need him to come back down.
You gush on his dick, walls thrumming frantic compressions around him.
“Oh, yeah, there she is,” Frank coos, hips slowing to an agonizingly tender tease, hitting each pulsating shock. “There’s m’fuckin’ girl. Attagirl.”
Hair stuck to your face, you collapse over him. Cheek smooshed on his shoulder, arms locked in a shaking bolt around him. “Mm,” you hum, soft pants through the little part of your lips. One weak leg falls off his hip, and you’re too spent to care.
Frank rumbles a chuckle. Picks your leg up so it doesn’t dangle. Pins it back against his hip with his elbow. Strums his fingers over your thigh, other hand rubbing the nape of your neck. “You good, huh?” Softer now, still rough with lust. “Pretty girl. Always so good f’me. Look so fuckin’ pretty when you cum on m’dick like that.”
“Mhm,” your lashes flutter, head picking up. Heat blankets your face, chest. The lingerie’s damp and itchy on your skin. You sit up just enough to prove you’re okay, and Frank… god, he— Well, he looks like he’s seen God.
But it’s you.
“You ain’t done yet,” he says, and it’s a warning. “Ain’t done makin’ you mine. You do somethin’ f’me, baby, hm?”
Cock still buried, cunt sucking him with aftershocks, your breath catches as you nod. “Tell me. Anything.”
“Marks. Want ‘em. Fuck— want ‘em all over. You do that f’me? Bruise me up, huh?”
“Wha— Frankie, you sure? You never—”
One look shuts you up. Pupils a total eclipse of over his eyes, he wears this exact face into a war zone: brutal, a man unafraid to take victory by whatever means necessary, all dark possession with the mission but this is different. This is warfare in home territory; a battle where loss is unacceptable.
“Lemme feel you,” he says, head canted to offer the thick conduits of muscle and tendons in his neck.
A second—one—of mesmerization, your eyes dart from his to his neck. The stretch of his neck’s all you need.
You bite down on the sharp slant, a mouthful of muscle and his pulse. Hard enough he hisses. Hard enough your teeth impress to bruise.
“Fuck, yeah, s’it,” Frank groans and lifts you off the table. Standing, balancing you both, his fingers sprawl hooks under your ass and thighs, dropping you down and lifting you up on his cock in time with the plunge of his hips. “Don’t fuckin’ stop. Use that pretty lil’ mouth. Show ‘em what I got waitin’ at home, huh? Good girl waitin’ f’me. Tight fuckin’ pussy. Fuckin’ cupcakes—”
You leech onto his skin as he bounces you upright on his dick. Spit smearing your mouth, his neck, a trail of red-mottled bruises in your wake as tongue and teeth collide to assert your rightful possession over this body, this man. It starts again— the squeeze. Low in your belly, whittling ecstasy over your clit.
Pussy drunk, lust-induced, Frank’s head tips back. The shlick thumps of his cock bottoming out your cunt fills the kitchen, the slap of his balls, your muffled moans scoring through the walls.
Head spinning, lips swollen, you pry yourself off Frank in a gasp. Tits bounce in lace, hair disheveled, face flushed. You’re a goddamn angel of sin. You meet his wild stare. He’s just as disoriented as you. He’s beautiful, the strength in his neck and shoulders blooming contusions in the print of your teeth and shape of your lips.
You watch in flustered awe how he impales you, your cunt dripping and folds adhered to him. Crammed so fucking full, no more stretch to give, thrown on his cock with the sharp slap of skin.
The wide span of his fingers pull your ass apart so your cunt chokes tighter around every throbbing inch as he hammers up and in. His balls tighten. Biceps pumped from dragging your weight effortlessly over his cock.
“Frank,” his name quakes out your mouth. You swallow, legs quivering around his waist. “I’m gonna— oh, god, I’m gonna cum again, Frankie.”
“Yeah, baby?” he pants, “too full, huh? Can’t get enough, can you?”
“F-feel you everywhere,” you choke out, hole clamping down around him as your body seizes.
“Yeah? Where. Show me. C’mon. Show me, sweetheart. Where you feel me, huh?”
A trembling hand grasps your tummy. Here. It skates up your chest, squeezing your sternum. Here. And around your throat. Here.
That does something to him.
Rewires every fuckin’ instinct in his head ‘til it’s just you. You. You. You. It becomes consumption, fucking you to an oblivion where you’re one. Whole. Fucks you like he’ll die without you. Fucks you like his cock’s sustenance you need.
Fucks you to completion.
Neither without the other.
He fucks you stupid, your jaw slack as little, breathless moans punch out.
Primal inclination to breed you, to blow his load so deep you taste it in the back of your throat, Frank climbs onto the table—with you beneath him. One hand glued to the edge of the table, using it for leverage. Your head rests in the crook of his elbow, thrown back over his forearm as he fucks a brutal, senseless pace. Your hips lift off the table, Frank’s arm jerking them up for a deeper angle, for a harder drive so when he does bust? You’ll get every fucking drop. Yeah.
Trying to breed you.
Broad shoulders acting as spreader bars, Frank hooks your knees over them. Spreads you wide, deep, your legs down his back. By the plunging neck of the lingerie, he rips two fingers down it, breaking your tits free. Both of his hands bind around the edge of the table, veins swollen channels up his forearms, disappearing into the biceps that ensnare you.
Fuckin’ folds you in half. Growled grunts knock out of him in time with his hips. The pace stutters as pressure builds in his gut.
“Gonna fill you ‘til you fuckin’ leak,” he says, a man possessed. “Ain’t gonna be able t’walk without thinkin’ ‘bout me. That what you want?”
You nod, but it’s not enough.
“Words,” he coaxes, a gentle reprieve. “Use your words, baby. C’mon. Lemme hear you, huh?”
“Yes,” pure bliss, your nails hooking into his sides as your eyes roll back. “Yes, Frank, fuckyes. Wanna feel you in my stomach for days after. Want my legs to shake every step I take. Forget my own fucking name—”
“Nuh-uh, nah, ain’t f’gettin’ your name. You’re m’ fuckin’ wife. Mrs. Castle. My wife. You got that?”
As you reach your peak, Frank’s name tearing from your lungs as you claw into him, Frank plows two more balls-deep ruts before he’s spilling hot ropes of cum into your pulsating cunt with the guttural mercy of your name.
There’s nothing left but panted breath, sweat, and chocolate cupcakes.
Frank unfolds you gently, without a word. A bead of sweat trickles from his sweat-logged hair, easing your legs from his shoulders. With a kiss to each knee, Frank places your legs down on the table, cock burrowed deep in you yet.
Lingerie hanging on by willpower, you lie beneath him. Winded, blissed, dripping his cum. Heavy, hazy eyes follow his every move, the silent praise in his fingers as he carefully tucks your breasts back into the lace. He drops his head, pressing a kiss to the swell of each one. Then the sweat-salted curve of your neck. The soft line of your jaw. And finally, the parted line of your lips.
“You okay?” he murmurs, a gravel dredge, nudging his nose against yours.
“…I think I’m gonna need a wheelchair.”
Crickets.
Then—
You both laugh.
You bubble.
He rumbles.
“Le’s start with a cupcake, yeah?”
“Frank, are you seriously—?”
“Oh yeah.”
Dick in you, still riding the high in aftershocks, Frank reaches beside your head and grabs a cupcake. Settles back in, elbows on either side of your head.
Hovering inches from your face, ass cheeks out, Frank takes a bite equivalent to half the cupcake. Groans all over again, eyes fluttering.
“Good thing ‘m still in you. Think I came again,” he praises with a mouthful of cupcake, frosting smeared on his bottom lip. “Need your pussy ate f’this one, sweetheart.”
“That good, huh?”
“Need broads t’flirt with me more often.”
“Ass.”
“Great idea, pretty girl. Flip over. Gonna eat this off your ass, hm?”
“Frank—!”
Laughter rings through the kitchen. His impish chuckle. The slow, lazy smooch of kisses and murmured nothings. More laughter when he plops icing on your nose. And… other places. Different noises when he cleans up the mess he makes.
One thing about you and Frank?
This is it.
You. Him.
Handling trouble as it comes your way.
Trouble isn’t always blood and guns, remember.
Sometimes it’s dog shit cookies and a goddamn temp.
Trouble can’t touch this.
Frank won’t let it.
content is mine, always without the use of AI. do not share or repost on any other site without consent of the author (hi, me). characters are not mine.
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summary : when frank comes home late from a mission after being hit by a suspicious powder, he wonders why he can't bring himself to take his hands off of you.
warnings : SMUTTTT !!!!!, minors please dni, somnophilia (oops), size kink, praise kink, needy!frank, desperate!frank, rough!frank (the list goes on honestly), p in v, unprotected sex, overstimulation, some angst. (both characters in this fic are fully consensual)
word count : 16 k (oops ?)
a/n : based off this gem of a rq and not proofread (as always what do yall expect) also yes this is an au where frank alr works with the avengers sue me
The warehouse is quiet.
Too quiet.
Frank knows better than to trust quiet.
He moves through the darkness with practiced efficiency, boots barely making a sound against the cracked concrete floor. His pistol hangs low at his side. Every muscle in his body is loose, ready.
Three men. One on the catwalk. Two below. He counts them automatically. A fourth steps out from behind a stack of shipping crates.
Frank doesn't hesitate. The first shot echoes through the building. Then everything explodes. Gunfire ricochets off steel beams. Someone shouts. Another body hits the ground.
Frank ducks behind a forklift as bullets tear through the rusted metal above his head.
"He's over there!"
"Move!" One comes around the corner too fast. Frank catches his wrist, twists until something snaps, and drives the man into the wall hard enough to leave a crack in the drywall before finishing the fight with brutal efficiency. Another rushes him with a knife. Too slow. A sharp elbow. A disarm. Done. The warehouse falls quiet again. Frank scans the room.
One…
Two…
Three…
Four.
All down.
His breathing is steady as he steps over the bodies toward the office overlooking the floor. Whoever had been running tonight's operation had been smart enough to stay hidden. Until now. The office door bursts open. An older man stumbles out, coughing violently, clutching something metallic in his hand. Not a gun. A canister. Frank raises his pistol.
"Don't." The man smiles. Not afraid. Almost… relieved.
"You should've stayed away." Frank fires. The man jerks backward. But not before his thumb slams the button. The canister hisses. A burst of fine crimson powder erupts into the air. Frank instinctively turns his face away.
Too late.
The cloud engulfs him. It coats his jacket. His neck. His face.
He coughs once. Twice. The powder tastes metallic. Bitter. Like copper and ash.
"What the hell…" The old man collapses before he can answer. Silence settles over the warehouse once more.
Frank waits.
Five seconds.
Ten.
Nothing.
He wipes the red dust from his cheek onto his glove.
"…Weird." He holsters his weapon. Checks the room one final time. Collects the drive he'd come for. Then heads for the exit. Halfway across the parking lot… Something feels wrong. At first it's subtle. His collar suddenly feels too tight. His jacket heavier than usual. He unzips it. The cold November air should help.
It doesn't. By the time he reaches the van, heat is blooming beneath his skin. Not outside. Inside. Like someone lit a match behind his ribs. He frowns.
"Jesus.." He slides into the driver's seat. Starts the engine. The heater is off. The windows are down. Still… He's sweating.
His pulse pounds in his ears. His shirt sticks to his back. The skin along his neck prickles. Burns. The drive home becomes a blur of red lights and clenched teeth. By the time he parks outside the house, he's gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles ache. His vision swims. His breathing comes too fast. Every inch of him feels feverishly hot. Like his blood has been replaced with molten metal. He nearly stumbles climbing the porch steps. The key misses the lock twice before he finally gets the door open. The house is dark. Quiet. Safe. He closes the door behind him and leans against it, breathing hard.
The familiar scent of home hits him immediately. Lavender detergent. Fresh coffee lingering from that morning. And you.
Somewhere upstairs. As if pulled by instinct alone, Frank starts climbing. Each step feels heavier than the last. His skin burns. His heartbeat refuses to slow. His wedding ring feels too hot against his finger. The hallway swims in and out of focus. He reaches your bedroom door. Pushes it open. Moonlight spills through the curtains. There you are. Curled beneath the blankets. Fast asleep. One of his old black T-shirts hangs from your shoulders, slipping enough to reveal one bare shoulder against the pillow. Your hair is spread across the sheets. One hand tucked beneath your cheek.
Completely unaware that your husband is standing in the doorway.
The heat that was solid in his chest spreads down and down to rest between his legs.
You grumble in your sleep, shifting your hips upward. The duvet slips off, revealing the soft curve of your naked thigh, and the soft pink lace of the panties laying beneath the shirt.
The sight of you, so soft and vulnerable in the moonlight, is like a physical blow. The heat that was simmering in his groin explodes into a full-blown inferno. His cock, already half-hard from the fever, thickens and strains against the confines of his jeans, a sudden, urgent ache that steals his breath. He grits his teeth, his hands clenching into fists at his sides.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
He should go to the bathroom.
Turn on a cold shower.
Stick his head under the water until this… this thing passes. It has to be the powder. A delayed reaction. Some kind of chemical weapon designed to incapacitate.
He knows this, logically. He knows it.
But his body doesn't care about logic.
His feet move of their own accord, carrying him silently across the room. He tells himself he's just checking on you. Making sure you're okay. Making sure the house is secure. It's a lie, and he knows it. He's drawn to you like a moth to a flame, and he's terrified he's about to get burned. He stops at the edge of the bed, his shadow falling over you. You shift again in your sleep, a soft sigh escaping your lips, and the sound goes straight to his cock. It's agony. It's the sweetest sound he's ever heard. He reaches out, his hand trembling, his fingers hovering just above your shoulder. He just wants to touch you. Just a little. Just to feel the warmth of your skin, to ground himself.
His fingertips make contact.
It's a mistake.
A jolt of pure, unadulterated pleasure shoots up his arm, so intense it's almost painful. Your skin is so soft, so warm, and the contact sends another wave of heat crashing through him. He can't stop the low groan that rumbles in his chest. He snatches his hand back as if he's been burned, his breathing ragged.
'"Fuck." he rasps, hand going for his jeans, palming himself shamelessly.
He should go.
Go sleep on the couch, wait for this to pass.
But then you shift again, turning your back to him fully, the shirt riding up your waist and god- Frank almost comes in his pants. The heat threatens to consume his whole body, and he falls forward, fingers tangling in the mess of sheets as he tries to reign in his self control.
But the thin thread that usually is his self control is a mere scrap tonight, and it breaks in the span of an instant. Before Frank can even realise what he's doing, he's shedding his outer layer of clothes, leaving him in his boxers, and he slides into the bed with you, his body seeking your warmth.
You shift again, and the scent of your hair, your skin, it hits him like a drug. The need is immediate, primal, and so sharp it drowns out the last of his thoughts. He curls around you from behind, the mattress dipping under his weight, his arm heavy and hot as it wraps around your waist and anchors you to him. You make a soft, sleepy noise—surprised, but not afraid—just as his hand slips beneath the taut hem of the black T-shirt. He palms your stomach, sliding up to cup your breast, and you arch into his touch out of instinct. A silent plea for more. Frank presses his face into your hair, breathing you in, jaw clenching against the urge to rut like an animal right then and there. He wants to be gentle, slow, but the heat inside him is so pure, so urgent, it takes everything just to keep from tearing the panties from your hips and driving himself into you. His cock is hard, hot, and leaking, pinned between you and the sheets. You squirm back against him, a wordless encouragement, and the friction is a mercy and a torment. You groan in your sleep as Frank softly peels the fabric of your panties to the side, a sleepy huff leaving your lips. Frank can’t resist.
He pulls his boxers down and without a second thought, grabs his cock in one hand and pushes it towards your folds. Frank pushes the head of his cock through your folds, dragging it through the slick heat, and the sensation is so overwhelming he almost blacks out. He can feel the precum leaking, painting your skin, and he wants—fuck, he needs—to be inside you. But you’re so soft underneath him, breathing slow and deep, eyelashes trembling against your cheek, that he hesitates at the last second. Your body is so warm, so inviting, and the urge to just take is a living thing in his blood. He lines himself up, gripping the meat of your hip so tight he’ll leave bruises.
The first push steals his breath. You’re so wet, so impossibly tight, the resistance making him groan into your shoulder. Your body wakes in slow motion, hips shifting unconsciously, a low whine leaking from your lips as he pushes in, stretching you inch by impossible inch. He’s big, always has been, but tonight he’s swollen, almost angry in his hardness, and the way you squeeze him is enough to make him see stars.
“God, baby,” he grunts, voice all gravel and hunger. He’s halfway in when you wake, startled, breath catching and body tensing in his arms.
“Frank?” It’s a question, sleepy and confused. He buries his face in your hair, his breath shuddering through your roots.
“Sorry,” he mutters, but there’s nothing sorry in the way he grinds against you, pushing deeper. “Need you so bad. Can’t—can’t fuckin’—” He groans, the sound guttural, primal. You writhe, caught between sleep and the sudden, aching fullness inside you.
“Frank, what—” You cut yourself off with a gasp as he bottoms out, the head of his cock kissing your cervix, the heat of him splitting you open. The stretch is so much, so sudden, your body clamps down, trembling. He holds you tight, one hand splayed over your belly, thumb rubbing circles just below the hem of your shirt.
“Shh, that’s it, you take it so good,” he says, voice low in your ear. He starts to move, shallow thrusts at first, testing your give, your grip. Every time he pulls back, your walls try to drag him in, greedy for more. Your hand scrabbles for the sheets, hips arching back helplessly, and Frank loses whatever fragile grip he has on self-control. He thrusts hard, burying himself inside you over and over, each slide slicker, hotter, more desperate.
“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so tight—squeezing me so fuckin’ good—look at you, taking every inch. My girl.” The praise slips out like a confession, rough and needy. You shudder, the words hitting you somewhere deep.
“Frank—oh, god, Frank, it’s—” He finds your hand and laces his fingers through yours, anchoring you as his pace picks up. His cock fills you, stretches you, and every thrust knocks the air from your lungs. Frank feels his heart hammering inside his chest, a booming drum against your spine. The grip he has on your hip is vice-like, holding you in place while he fucks into you with a pace that would shame him in the morning, but right now he’s too far gone to care. There’s only the velvet clutch of your heat, the way your body yields and draws him in, and the choked, breathless sounds you make every time he bottoms out. You’re whimpering now, the little noises you usually try to swallow down coming out bright and desperate. The sound of it is like gasoline on fire. He feels every inch of you, every pulse, every tremor, and he can’t—not for the life of him—slow down. His cock is thick, splitting you open, and you clamp around him so tight his vision goes white at the edges. He can’t tell if he’s drooling or if it’s sweat slicking his lips, but he’s got his mouth buried in your neck and he grinds his teeth together, trying not to lose it in the first minute.
“Jesus Christ—fuck, baby, you’re so fuckin’ perfect—” He bites the words into your hair, his lungs on fire. “Can’t stop, need to fill you up, need—” You just moan and buck back against him, your body greedy for every inch he gives you. Frank can feel you trembling, the way your thighs strain and your ass rocks against his hip, seeking out every thrust. He keeps telling himself to be gentle, to ease up, but every drag of your heat over his cock is ecstasy. He hammers into you, chasing the buzz building at the base of his spine, rolling his hips so deep you whine his name into the mattress.Frank can’t get enough. The words burned into the meat of his brain, pulsing there with the same desperate, animal rhythm he’s using to fuck you. He’s not even thinking about the mission anymore, about the canister, about the city he probably just infected with whatever the hell this is. He’s thinking about you, the shape your body makes under him, how you cling to him like you know exactly how close he is to breaking.
He’s close. So close it hurts. Every time your pussy milks him he wants to howl, wants to make you scream his name so loud the neighbors call the cops, wants to rut so deep into you it fucks the fever right out of his bloodstream.
You’re gasping now, not even trying to muffle it. The sound is everything. It’s everything. He grinds his cock into you, one hand tangled in your hair, the other clamped over your hip, using you to chase his own high. You’re so wet he can hear it, obscene and messy, every slam of his hips into yours punctuated by the filthy slap of skin on skin. He can feel you getting close, your muscles spasming around him, and he wants to drag it out, wants to make you come so hard you see stars, but he’s losing it. He’s never felt this out of control, like something in that powder rewired every nerve in his body, lit up every one of his instincts. He’s not just thinking with his cock—he is his cock, every fiber of him tuned to your body and the way you fuckin’ tremble underneath him.There’s no way you’re going to last. Not at this pace. Not with the way his cock fills you, the way his words break over your skin and pool in your belly, thick and sweet and filthy. You’re awake now, fully awake, and every inch of you is burning. The heat radiates off Frank like a fever, a wet, hungry furnace clamped to your back, and you never want it to end. He doesn’t slow down, not even when you’re keening his name into the pillow, not even when your body jerks and tightens and you come so hard you see black behind your eyelids. Frank just holds you tighter, shushing you, telling you how fucking good you are, how perfect, how you’re made for him, and the words turn your bones to water.
He doesn’t stop.
He’s not going to stop.
You can feel it—he’s close, he’s shaking, and the hand he has on your hip digs in hard enough to bruise. His thrusts grow ragged, desperate, and you know he’s about to— He curses, voice thick and hot in your ear.
“Fuck, fuck—sweetheart, can’t—can’t stop—” The heat in your belly doesn’t fade. If anything, it intensifies. You’re high on it, delirious, and still you want more. Frank doesn’t let up. He pulls you tighter, shifts your hips up just so, and starts to move again, slower this time, but just as deep. You whine, nails digging into the sheets, but he just pets your thigh, soothing and rough all at once.
“That’s it, baby. Take it. Take all of me.” He sounds ruined, but there’s a pride in it—a marvel at how much he can give you, how much you can take. You can barely think, every inch of your skin stretched taut with need. He sets a rhythm, brutal and sweet, and his fingers find your clit, rubbing circles that make you shake. You lose track of time. There’s nothing but Frank and the feel of him inside you, the sound of your bodies and his breath and the words he can’t keep to himself:
“so fucking tight—so good—my girl—my perfect girl—” and it never ends. He loses it first.
He’s never come this fast, not even as a dumb teenager, but tonight it’s like every nerve in his body is wired straight to his cock. He slams in, buried to the hilt, and lets out a groan that’s half agony, half worship. The first spurt of cum is so intense he shudders, vision blurring. His body stills, and his breath is so heavy on your neck. Your whole body is shaking and you whine as you pull yourself off him and turn to face him.
His whole body is covered in sweat, and his brows are pinched in pain.
The joke you were going to make about him missing you too much dies in your throat as concern spikes up through your chest.
“Frankie ?” You ask, trying to reach out to touch him. The second your hand touches his bare bicep, his hips rut towards you and a loud unabashed moan leaves his lips. His large hand comes down and wraps around his cock, his fist pumping around his length as he pants.
“Frank, what-”
“Shit, shit, baby- I think - I think- I think somethin’s wrong with me.” He writhes on the bed, clearly uncomfortable. “I thought- maybe if i- i thought it’d go away-” He moans, his eyes flying open to stare at you.
Yeah. It’s defintely not gone away.
The tension in his jaw is visible, the way his hand moves over himself so desperate, so unlike the usual Frank. Not controlled, not careful—just raw and frantic. You’ve seen him after missions, shaking with adrenaline, but never like this. His cock is flushed, almost angry, the head slicked and red, and he’s rutting into his fist with a single-mindedness that makes your mouth go dry.
You try to reach for him again.
“Sweetheart—don’t. I can’t—” His voice is all gravel, unsteady. He looks at your hand like it’s fire. “If you touch me, I swear to god—” He shakes his head, but it’s a threat with no teeth, because the next second he grabs your wrist, the grip almost bruising, and yanks you into his lap. The world goes sideways, your thighs splayed over his, the shirt riding up to your hips. His mouth is on you, not soft or sweet but open and desperate, biting at your collarbone, dragging his teeth down the slope of your shoulder. You giggle, delirious.
“Is this a new kink I don’t know about?”
“Fuck.” He’s red in the face, hair stuck to his forehead, pupils dilated so wide it swallows the blue. “I shouldn’t touch you. I’m— I’m fucked up. I should go.” But he doesn’t go. He’s already got you pinned a, his cock rutting against the crease of your thigh, leaving smears of precum all over your skin. He’s shaking so hard it vibrates through the bed. You try to wriggle out of his grip, but it’s like moving under a sandbag.
“Babe, maybe we should—” Frank just grunts, He pants into your skin like he’s drowning and you’re the only air.
“Need you,” he mumbles, the words slurred and low. “Need to fuck you, please, I—” He cuts off with another moan, huge hands hauling you up so the head of his cock slips between your folds. You’re already aching, slick from the first round, but now you feel an answering heat, an insistent, hungry want that’s not entirely your own. He doesn’t guide himself inside—he lifts you and drops you down, and the stretch is so sudden you yelp.
“Oh my god- Frank-” He buries his face in your neck, breath ragged.
“God, baby, so fucking tight,” he breathes, hips bucking up, driving you down to the hilt. It’s a lot, more than usual, and you have to cling to his shoulders just to keep from being fucked straight off him. Frank sets a brutal rhythm, all upward thrusts, his thighs flexing beneath you. He mutters into your skin, endless filthy praise—
“so good, so fucking good for me, made to take me, you’re perfect, fuck, my perfect girl”—and your body can’t help but respond, the words turning to liquid heat in your belly. You ride him, helpless to do anything but take and take, the pleasure almost overwhelming. He’s relentless, fucking up into you so hard you see white at the edges of your vision.
“Can’t stop,” he grits out, voice nearly gone. “Can’t—fuck—can’t stop unless you want me to—” He makes it a question, somehow, but you just dig your nails into his back and rock into him, letting him know you want more, need it as bad as he does. You’re so full you can barely breathe, every inch of your insides stretched around him. It’s more than you can remember, somehow, thicker, longer, and when you look down you see the way he’s split you open, the obscene bulge where his cock seats itself deep inside. The sight of it thrills you, makes you want to be ruined. Makes you want to take all of it, every frantic thrust.
You start to break — the way you always do when he gets like this, when the praise pours out like it’s the truth of him, when the thick hot weight of him pounds you open and the world narrows to the sound of your bodies slapping together and the hunger in his voice. You dig harder into his shoulders, nails scoring lines down his back, and his grip on your hips is bruising, anchoring you in place, and all you can do is hang on. The whole bed rocks under the violence of it, and your breath shatters, every exhale coming out as a broken whimper or a plea. Frank’s head tips back, his neck corded and slick with sweat, face gone slack with animal need, and you see the wildness burning bright behind his eyes. It’s too much, and it’s not enough, and you can feel the orgasm rising, savage and relentless, the friction of him inside so hot it verges on pain. You can’t think, can barely remember your own name, and Frank’s hand stays splayed flat on your back, fingers digging in, holding you down as his hips jackhammer up, merciless and perfect. You lose track of how many times you come, the edge blurred into a single long frantic wave, your staring eyes and raw throat and overheating skin all proof that you’re still alive, still tethered to this earth by the iron will of the man fucking you apart.
You collapse against his chest and he doesn’t slow, not even when you start to cry, the tears hot on your cheeks, the sobs punched out by each new thrust. He fucks you through it, each new climax wringing your insides tighter, until you’re trembling, clinging, babbling his name over and over. And he matches you, each time you squeeze down his cock he shudders, the veins in his neck standing out. Frank drags you higher on his lap and fucks up into you, hard enough you see stars. You sob, nails digging bloody half-moons into his shoulders, but the pain is good, it’s grounding, it’s proof that this is real and happening and not some fever dream. He’s soaked in sweat, skin slick and burning hot, and you feel him pulsing inside, the head of his cock battering places you didn’t know you had. He won’t stop. He can’t. His hands grip your waist and throttle you down, using you as leverage, rutting in single desperate slams that make your vision flicker white. You think you’re going to pass out. You want to. But he fucks you alive.
“M’sorry-” He rasps, his chest tense. “M’so sorry, mama-” He rasps, mouth grazing over your collarbones. His hips piston up, his cock splitting you on every thrust, and you’re so oversensitive it’s a miracle you don’t faint. Frank’s got you held up like a rag doll, hands locked around your waist, flexor tendons standing out in relief under his skin, and he’s making these animal noises deep in his chest, almost a whine, like even the shame can’t touch the need that’s got him by the throat. You try to say his name but it comes out as a wail, your body wrung dry, so full of him it feels like he’s rearranged your ribs. He thrusts up again, hard, and you see black behind your eyelids, a hot flash of white that rips through the mush of your brain and leaves you blank except for the feeling of him, the heat of him, the words he pours into your ear in a frantic, hungry spill.
“So good, baby, so—fuck—never felt you like this, you’re fucking perfect, so perfect, fuck, mama, look at you, taking all of me.” You do. You force your eyes open, and the sight of where your bodies meet should be obscene, but it’s gorgeous, it’s art, the way he disappears into you, the way you clamp down on him, shuddering and limp at the same time.
He can’t stop. It’s not just that he doesn’t want to — his body won’t let him. You see the panic in his face, the way he tries to slow, but every time he bottoms out, every time your heat milks him, it’s like he’s possessed.
He comes again, the heat of it flooding you, and you yelp, the sensation so much you spasm around him, another little aftershock wringing through your pelvis. Frank doesn’t even have enough air to groan — he just shivers, teeth grit and eyes squeezed shut, and then he slumps, just barely, his grip loosening a little. Your whole body slumps forward, and you grip onto his hair, whimpering at the soreness between your thighs. Frank groans, shaking his head. You gulp, looking up at him.
“Are you- Are you okay ?” You ask. You’re limp on his chest, so full you’re leaking down his balls, but even that spills more want into his bloodstream. He lifts you, and your cunt makes a wet, lewd pop as his cock drags out, thick and purple and smeared with both your releases. Frank is still hard. Still leaking. Still burning under every inch of skin. He tries to slow his breath, the drag of air through his lungs, but it’s like trying to wrangle a livewire with his bare hands. The need doesn’t fade. It only coils tighter, meaner, sharper against the base of his spine. He’d always prided himself on self-control, on discipline, but whatever was in that powder, it’s bending him backwards over his own rules, turning every nerve ending into a live fuse. You’re sprawled across his chest, boneless and slick, but the scent of you is gasoline in the furnace. He looks down, watches the way his cock stands, angry and thick and still twitching above the mess he’s made of you. He thinks: he could die this way. He’d be fine with it. You nuzzle your face into his neck and laugh, lightheaded.
“Are you seriously still—” He grunts.
“Don’t—don’t look at it.” You do. Both of you. Your hand drags down his chest, tracing the ridges of his body—slick with sweat, shuddering in the aftershocks, so alive it’s almost painful. You move to touch his cock and he flinches, a sharp inhalation, but he doesn’t stop you.
“Frank, you’re—oh my god.” You squeeze your hand around the shaft, thumb swiping over the slit, and Frank’s whole body seizes. He nearly throws you off in the spasm, but you’re still locked around his hips, and the movement only grinds you down over his lap, cock slipping between your folds in a slick, obscene slide.
“Fuck—” He’s biting down on his own knuckles to keep from making noise, but it’s helpless. You’re laughing, delirious with the power of it, and the sound is a hook in his ribs. He wants to be embarrassed, but it’s gone, burned out of him by the liquid hunger that soaks every thought. He needs to be inside you again. He needs it like air. All you want is to collapse, to melt into the mattress. Frank doesn’t give you the chance. Not even a full breath later, he’s up on his knees, cock still rock-hard and glistening. He drags you by the hips until you’re on your back, knees crooked open, and spears himself in one brutal thrust, splitting you apart again.
“Fuck- I’m sorry-” He rasps. The sensation is so sharp you see stars, a shriek punched out of your chest when he bottoms out, rutting into you like he’s never going to stop.The pressure is so much, all at once, Frank’s vision tunnels. He can’t even hear above the roar of blood in his ears. The bed rattles. The whole goddamn planet could rattle apart and he wouldn’t stop. He’s fucking you through the mattress, through the next dimension. He can’t catch a full breath. He gasps for air and tastes your sweat, your scent, the ozone tang of the fever now churning through him like black fire. You’re screaming. The raw, high sound of it rips the last discipline out of him. Some part of him tries to be gentle, tries to hold back, but his body goes on autopilot, rutting harder, faster, every thrust shoving his cock deeper into you, until it feels like he’s turned you inside out. You go limp, then rigid, then limp again. The only thing holding you together is his hands. He braces his forearm across the small of your back and folds you in half, his weight crushing you into the ruined tangle of sheets. He’s got you locked in, locked down, and the only thing you can do is take it, over and over, every stroke. Your sobs go silent, lungs emptied, and you’re reduced to shuddering and twitching, a gooseflesh wreck. It should scare him, and somewhere, deep behind the thick fog of want, it does. But your body milks him, clings to him, wants him just as much.
You’re still trying to crawl up his cock, even as it’s too much, even as you whimper “please—please—Frank—” and he loses the thread of what you’re even asking for. You come again, your pussy clamping so tight he almost blacks out. The bedframe slams against the wall, a steady drumbeat to the obscene, wet slap of your bodies. Frank’s not sure there’s anything left to give, but his balls ache and his cock throbs and he’s still not done, not even close. He’s barely human, all muscle and bone and nerve endings, and he’s so deep in the need it’s like swimming blind. The pulsing heat should fade, but it doesn’t. His cock stays hard, the ridge of it throbbing against your walls, and you can taste the panic in the way he looks at you, eyes wild, brow shiny with sweat. You’re so full it feels like you’ll split, like he’s pounding straight through your core. He fucks you with a single-minded desperation, every thrust a promise he can’t break, and you ride each wave with him, helpless to do anything but take and take until your mind blanks out and your body remembers nothing but the shape of him inside you.
Frank’s world is the inside of your cunt. He’s got no purchase outside it. Every time he tries to slow, just breathe, it’s like the fever burns hotter, pushes him right back to rutting into you like he’ll die if he stops. You’re not even crying anymore; the sound you make is a dull, broken gasp at every shove into your center, and still you’re so fucking good for him, you take it, you take him, you always do. He’s never been rough with you like this, never let himself, but there’s no pulling back, nothing but the thick slap of skin and the way your body folds around him, greedier than anything Frank’s ever known. Sweat pours off him, mouth gone dry, every muscle in his arms and gut straining to keep you locked onto his cock.
You shudder your way through three orgasms. Four. He loses count, can only track the relentless pulse at the base of his cock, the way every new wave of your desperation clenches him tighter, tries to milk him dry. He wants to say he’s sorry, wants to fucking stop, but if he stops he’ll die right here, naked and empty with nothing but want. He crushes you to his chest, presses his brow to yours, and his voice shreds in his throat.
“Honey—fuck—don’t know what’s wrong—can’t—” He can’t finish. He reaches down, grabs your thighs, and pushes them up, your knees by your ears, so he can watch his cock disappearing into your ruined cunt. The sight turns his brain to static. He fucks you through his own softening, the rawness of it sending his balls tight, a pulsing ache so deep it’s like punishment. You blink up at him, eyes wide and glassy, lips parted in a soundless plea. Frank heaves in ragged breaths. He wipes the sweat out of his eyes with the back of his hand, but it’s useless, just keeps coming. You try to touch his face, but your hand falls limply to the pillow.
“Can’t—” you try, voice so hoarse it’s a rasp, “Frank, too much—”
“I know, baby, I know,” he chokes, but he doesn’t stop, can’t stop, the rhythm just slows, each push in and out a new kind of agony. You’re so full you’re leaking, the pale mess of him painting your thighs, every thrust making a fresh drip down to the sheets. He can’t get enough of it. He can’t get enough of you. He thinks—maybe, if he comes again, this will break. Maybe it’s just a matter of getting it all out of his system. Frank’s hips keep going, chasing something neither of you can name, deeper and harder, until even the friction starts to blur into a numb, syrupy ache. You’re not sure your body can take another orgasm, but Frank’s cock doesn’t slow, doesn’t even twitch toward softening inside you. He’s still diamond-hard, still rutting in mindless, ragged thrusts, the tip of his dick punching against your cervix so sharp you nearly sob. You want to stop, want to tap out, but you can’t say the words, not with the way his body cages yours, his forearm braced above your head. Every time you so much as gasp for air, he hushes you, whispers more praise into your skin.
“Good girl, fuck, you’re such a good girl, baby—so tight, squeezing me, you wanna make me come again? Huh? Want me to fill you all the way up?” His voice cracks, goes thin and desperate, and you almost come just from the sound. The praise is a wire wrapped around your spine, drawing you tighter, tighter, until the next orgasm hits like a rubber bullet and rips a wail out of your chest. Frank’s cock doesn’t give you a break to even register the aftershocks before he’s already pounding you through another. Your thighs shake, your calves spasm, even your toes curl up tight. You’re crying again, you think, but it’s not from pain, not really. It’s because your body’s hit max capacity and refused to let go, and Frank’s not slowing down, not even to catch his breath. The bed frame is a lost cause, the cheap wood splintering against each slam of Frank’s hips. You grip the pillow, face buried in the wet cotton, and try to ride it out.
You want to tell him to stop, to check if he’s okay, but every time you try, you just get another mouthful of “Frank, fuck, Frank—”
He’s panting so loud his breath sounds like a threat. His hand finds the back of your neck, palm warm and damp with sweat, and holds you down, grinding his cock so deep you shiver. The sound that comes out of him isn’t human: a full-body groan, like coming is the only relief left in the world. His cock throbs, thick and pulsing, and you feel the heat spill inside you, a flood that has you clenching, wringing every drop out of him. He collapses on top of you, and you shudder in pain, your body begging for a break. Frank groans, his shoulders shaking. He peels himself away from you, shaking his head, his chest heaving.
He’s in pain. You can tell.
He faces the wall as he tries his hardest to settle his breathing, and you can see his cock, pressed against his stomach- still red and hard and bulging. Your insides churn with ache, and you whine.
“Frankie-”
“N-No, baby, i gotta- I gotta stop.” He rasps, shaking his head. But his body disagrees. Frank’s hand finds the headboard and he grinds the heel of his palm into his brow, eyes clenched, like that might squeeze the need out of his skull by force. He tries to turn away, but your hand is there, cupping his jaw, so gentle he almost sobs from it.
“It’s okay.” Your voice is thin, spent, but there’s not a trace of fear in it. Only worry. Only the same devotion he’s always known, the kind that makes his chest ache on a normal day, and now it’s a knife. You look up at him, lashes stuck together with tears and sweat, and he sees it—what he’s done to you. The red handprints on your thighs, the way your lips are bruised from your own teeth. He’s never hated himself more. He tries to say your name but his throat seizes, a dry, animal noise spilling out, and it takes everything not to punch a hole through the fucking drywall just to have something to break. You crawl into his lap, soft and warm and so goddamn patient, and rest your head on his shoulder. The touch is an IV drip straight to what’s left of his self-control. He wraps his arms around you, desperate to keep you safe, but the second your cunt grazes his cock he’s hard again—no pause, no mercy. Your body folds around him, open and wrecked and beautiful, and the urge to fuck you into the floorboards is so strong it’s all he can do not to bite your shoulder until it bruises. He’d always thought himself a man of limits. Rules. But this is new country. This is past the boundary of pain and into the realm of need that’s got no words. He wants to stop, but his cock is already rutting against your heat, and you’re slick, still so wet he can feel the mess soaking his thighs. You ease back, the weight of you on his lap, and thread your hand through his hair.
“Frankie, you’re burning up,” you whisper. Your palm settles on his chest, like you could press the fever out of him with enough pressure. But it’s not just fever. It’s a bomb—ticking. He can’t remember the last time he felt this powerless.
“God, it’s that fuckin’ red powder- I don’t- I don’t know what was in it-”
“It’s okay, Frankie.” You huff.
“No, it’s not fucking okay !” He yells, whining as his hips rut up, chasing the feel of your pussy clamped on him. His eyes fly open, and he takes you in. “Baby, look what i’ve fuckin’ done to ya.” He rasps, shaking his head.
“Frankie-”
“Please- get- get off me, mama, please- I don’t wanna hurt you anymore, i-” You see Frank’s resolve start to buckle. The panic in his eyes crashes up against the tidal wave of need that’s got him rutting into you even as he begs for distance, for mercy, for anything to keep you safe from his own treacherous body. You shift in his lap and he moans, the sound so raw and petulant it threatens to break your heart. You bury your face into his neck, lips pressed to the salt and heat there, and you try to anchor him with your words.
“I’m not afraid of you, Frankie. You’re not gonna hurt me. I want to help—” You’re cut off by a shudder as his cock twitches, fat and fever-hot, pressing up against your drenched folds. Even through the haze of soreness, you can’t help but want him, the way he fills you, the way he worships every inch of you with his eyes and hands and words. He tries to scoot back, but you wrap your arms around his shoulders, locking him in place.
“Frank. Look at me.” He tries to obey, but the shame is a physical force, tethering his chin to his chest. You take his face in both hands and lift it, so he’s forced to see you—your ruined makeup, your puffy lips, the tears still drying in sticky trails down your face. He trembles, and the glassy, pleading look in his eyes is almost more than you can bear. You force yourself to smile. “It’s not you, Frankie. It’s whatever they hit you with. You’re not going to break me. I know you.” You guide his hand so it cups your hip, thumb stroking over the place where his fingerprints are already bruising your skin. “Let me help you. Please.” A sob racks his chest, but you don’t let go. You shift your hips, the soreness blooming into a fierce ache, but the sharp stretch of him splitting you open is its own kind of mercy, a reminder that you’re real, that he’s real, that everything that has you gasping and groaning and crying is because the man you love can’t stop loving you back, even when it shreds him to the bone. He mutters something—could be your name, could be some broken apology—but you cut him off by grinding down, forcing the thick head of his cock inside again. You both moan, the sound a harmonized exhale of pain and relief and want. You ride him slow, savoring the way his hands grip your ass, the way his mouth stutters against the hollow of your neck.
“Baby—fuck—don’t wanna—don’t wanna ruin you—” he whimpers. You’ve never seen him lose it like this. The red powder’s got him raw, desperate, every boundary burned away by the chemical fire in his veins. His face shines with sweat and tears, and his voice is so cracked and pleading it makes you want to cry for him. You whine as you overstimulated clit bumps against his pubic bone and you shake your head.
"Just- ah shit, wanna help-" You manage, your face drawn up in pain.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" Before you can understand what's going on, you're ripped off of him, and your cheek meets the pillow as your ass is propped up. Frank’s got you on your stomach, ass in the air, and the whole world narrows to pressure, his hands locked around your hips so hard you can taste the bruise forming. He’s inside you before your brain catches up—a single mean thrust, bottoming out, and your mouth opens but nothing comes out except a stuttered gasp. He doesn’t move at first, just holds you there, cock throbbing so deep you can feel it behind your navel.
His voice is a raw scrape: “Sorry, sorry—can’t—” and then he fucks down, fucks through you, every stroke hard enough to punch the air from your lungs. You try to brace your hands but your shoulder gives out, leaving you cheek-down on the pillow, drool pooling in the crook of your mouth. You think you might cry, but it turns to a wail instead, a high desperate sound muffled by the bed. Frank’s not slow, not at all—he’s relentless, hips snapping, spine bowed over your back, the heat of him rolling off in waves. He mutters your name into your hair, worship and apology in every syllable, but he doesn’t stop, not even when your thighs seize up and your body starts to shake.
It’s like he’s in a race to fuck the poison out of himself, a self-punishment as much as a need. He doesn’t just pound, he grinds, the fat ridge of his cock scraping every hypersensitive spot and making you see colors behind your eyelids. He gets a rhythm going, a brutal, unyielding cadence that’s all force and no mercy, the wet slap of skin so loud it drowns out your own whimpers. He’s saying something—maybe a prayer, maybe a curse—but your ears ring too loud to tell. Frank’s rhythm shudders, then redoubles, each thrust a new promise he can’t keep—he’s sorry, he’s trying, but his body won’t even let him lie. All you can do is take it. Your hips knock forward with every impact, your knees gone numb, your hands scrabbling at the sheets. He’s a furnace at your back, sweat dripping from his jaw onto the nape of your neck. Your cunt is raw, fluttering, so full of him you feel like his cock is splitting your spine in half, pulse after pulse hammering your insides. The praise keeps coming, wrecked and hoarse, every word scraping the meat of your brain:
“That’s it, mama, god, you’re so good for me, fucking perfect, fuck, fuck, look at how you take it—” His hands bracket your waist, thumbs pressing so hard you’re sure you’ll wear his fingerprints for days. The bed gives a death rattle under the both of you, and for a second you’re sure you might break through the floor. It’s not just the pain, it’s the stretch, the impossible misshape of him inside you, the friction grinding against nerves you didn’t know you had. Each time he bottoms out, your whole body spasms, jaw slack, and your eyes roll up until all you see is white. You want to say it’s too much, you need to say it’s too much, but your throat can’t find the air. All you can manage is a strangled sob and a whimper, the sound burrowing straight into Frank’s brain. He’s so loud you barely hear yourself. He can’t stop moaning, every inhale a curse, every exhale a plea for you to hold on, to keep going, to save him from this. His cock throbs inside you, thick as a goddamn fist, and you feel every vein, every twitch.
You can’t even squeeze him now; you’re so open, so obliterated, but he uses you anyway, cocking his hips to make sure he grinds against every raw inch of your walls. It’s a mercy when you come again—your pussy fluttering, a helpless, shivery clamp that wrings a keening noise out of both of you. He feels it, all of it, the heat and the pulse and the way your body tries to milk him dry, and it snaps something vital in him.
He shoves forward, so deep you swear you can feel him in your stomach, and he grunts a broken “fuck—” as he spills inside you again, so much it leaks out the second he starts to move. He doesn’t soften. Not even a little. He leans over, body caging you in, his huge hand coming to cradle your head, gentle and sweet and so at fucking odds with the way he rails you from behind, over and over and over. You think you might faint. You hope you do, but Frank won’t give you the out. He drags you up onto your knees, keeping you impaled, your ass flush against his hips. His chest is a solid wall at your back, every breath a ragged hurricane. You lean into him, and the only thing keeping you from sliding forward is the white-knuckle grip he’s got on your hip. Every muscle in his arm is bunched and trembling, and you can’t see his face, but you can hear him, every breath a broken, bruised whimper. The pressure inside you is so intense it feels like he’s going to split you, and the wet mess leaking out onto your thighs is obscene, but you can’t stop clenching, can’t stop reaching for every last inch he gives, even when it knocks a raw scream out of you.
He’s not talking anymore; he’s just animal, all want and motion, the drag of his cock so deep it makes your vision rattle. He’s fucking through every stop sign his brain tries to throw up. It’s not anger—he’s not rough, not really, not even when the thrusts get mean. He’s wounded, desperate, every snap of his hips a white flag of surrender to whatever’s in his blood. There’s a low, guttural moan in the back of his throat that never quite makes it out—just a vibration that crackles down his spine and into yours.
The only words he manages are yours: your name, and then sorry, then your name again, and then “please, please, please,” like there’s a finish line he can barely see.
You try to push up, to arch back into him, and he groans like he’s in pain. The new angle gives him enough to work with that he slams in even deeper, punching the air out of your lungs. The slap of your bodies is filthy, echoing off the drywall. You’re not sure you can take it, but every time you think you’ll fall apart, he tightens his fingers and pulls you closer and you break in a new way, shattered and made again in the space of a heartbeat. His cock is so hard it feels like a weapon, the head swelling every time your pussy convulses around it. You’re so full it’s like he’s rearranging your guts, and the ache is a raw, sweet line from your cervix to your clit, every stroke against that spot another quicksilver jolt.
He keeps muttering—“fuck, fuck, fuck, baby, good, that’s it, take it, take it, please”—each phrase more frantic than the last. His balls slap your clit with every thrust, a wet, brutal rhythm that leaves you shaking. You can’t move, not really, just grip the sheets and let him fuck you through the next dimension. Your body responds with a will of its own, cunt fluttering, greedy, and he all but howls, the pitch of his voice climbing as you milk him. He wraps a hand over your mouth, not to silence you, but to keep himself from biting into your shoulder. Your vision blurs at the edges, black stars exploding behind your eyes with every brutal slap of Frank’s hips. You don’t remember the last time you took a breath that wasn’t torn from your lungs; you don’t remember the last time you wanted anything as bad as you want him to finish—just finish—so you can collapse and glue your bones back together.
He holds you locked against his chest, your knees straining and your hands scrabbling for the headboard, but your arms are noodles, your muscles shaking with nothing left to give. He fucks you like he’s trying to get through to the other side, like if he just goes hard enough, deep enough, the chemicals will burn themselves out and he’ll stop being an animal. The sounds coming out of him are wild, nothing you’ve ever heard in your own bed—raw, grunting, half-sobbed apologies and broken praise.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, please, baby, need you to take it, need—can’t—” Frank’s voice is a rasp, a snapped wire, and you can feel his cock twitching, so hard you think he could split you in half with it. Each time he bottoms out, it punches a fresh scream out of you, but you clamp your jaw down, try to muffle the madness of it. He’s never rough with you, not like this, never so greedy, but you get it. Something is wrong, and you want to help—want to be the answer, the antidote, the safe place for him to burn out and come back to himself. He holds your waist so tight you can feel each ridge of his fingerprints, bruising you into memory. You want to say it hurts, but the words won’t come. Your pussy is on fire—raw, stretched, so abused it’s gone numb and then come back to life even sharper. The mess is everywhere: leaking out around him, slicking your thighs, running down to stain the sheets. All you can do is ride the waves and hope you don’t drown.
The only noise in the room is the animal rhythm of bodies and Frank’s voice, disbelieving and desperate: “So fucking tight, fuck, mama, so good, can’t stop, can’t—please don’t make me stop—” He thrusts so hard your hips jar forward, your face mashed into the bed. You start to sob, not from pain, not really, but because it’s too much, because you’ve never seen him like this, never heard him cry out with so little control. You want to help, that’s what matters—help him, take all of it, prove you’re strong enough. You push back into him, arching your ass higher, and the noise he makes is so grateful it breaks your heart.
“Good girl,” he says, voice shredded and hoarse. “Perfect, you’re perfect, fuck, sweetheart, doing so good, just gotta—” He loses the thread, ruts into you so deep your vision whites out. His cock pulses, and you feel a new rush of heat inside, and that does it. You clench down, body wracked by the kind of orgasm that hurts, hurts so good you see stars.
He lets you drop back down against the mattress, and you struggle to keep yourself upright. You scream yourself hoarse, your pussy clamped down vice-tight. You feel everything, every pulse and stretch and starburst, and Frank howls against your shoulder. The noise doesn’t even sound like him—it’s wounded and messy, his breath burning loud in your ear. You can’t move, can’t breathe, can only let him use you, rail you, like he’ll die if he doesn’t get it all out. The aftershocks won’t stop, not for you, not for him. He stutters through another frantic thrust, and you feel his cock jerk, another hot wave of come flooding you, and you go limp in his hands, deadweight against his chest. He keeps moving, barely half a second between one orgasm and the next, and you’re sobbing into the pillow, your senses so blown you can’t tell if you’re still coming or if the world just feels that sharp now. You want to beg for mercy, but Frank doesn’t have any to give. His grip shakes. His whole body shakes. He clings to you like he’ll fall apart if he lets go, every inch of him slick and hot, pressing you into the mattress until you’re shaped to it. You can hear the edge-of-panic in his voice, the way he repeats your name and sorry and “baby, I can’t—can’t stop, can’t stop.” He’s terrified of himself. You know it, and it makes you want him more, want to fix it, take the ache out of him even if it means breaking yourself in the process.
He lifts you higher, knees scrabbling to keep you upright, and then he’s fucking up into you again, as frantic as the first time. It’s a miracle you’re still wet, still open, but the heat between your legs is unreal—slippery, raw, your clit throbbing with every slap of his body. You don’t think you’re meant to come this many times; it’s like your nerves are fried, but every time his cock grinds against that spot inside you, you jolt and seize and scream. The room smells like sex, thick and musky and everywhere. You’re distantly aware of how filthy it is, how you both sound like animals, how you must look wrecked beyond repair—but Frank won’t even let you hide your face. He grabs your jaw, turns your head so you’re looking at him, his eyes wild and glassy and pleading.
“Need you,” he says, and it sounds like a confession. “Can’t—please, baby, don’t let go—” You nod, tears streaming down your cheeks, because you can’t talk, and the way he looks at you—like you’re the last thing tethering him to the planet—makes you want to endure a thousand more hours of this, if it’ll help. You squeeze around him, even though you’re not sure you can take any more; you brace your arms against his, let him rut into you until you both lose track of time.
Frank’s hand slides up the back of your neck, fingers in your hair, not pulling, just holding. Like if he lets go, he’ll float away. You feel his lips at your skin, a blur of kisses and apologies, but it’s not enough to gentle the pace. He doesn’t slow, doesn’t soften, just fucks you through every last bit of resistance. You can’t even squeeze him, but he doesn’t need it—he’s so big you’re stretched taut, every vein and ridge inside you, scraping against a spot that makes your eyes roll up. He leans over, flush against your back, and you feel the tremble in his chest—like he’s sobbing, too. His whole body shakes, and you realize with a lurch that he’s crying.
You turn your head, try to see him, but all you get is the hot rush of his breath in your hair, the way he chokes on another “sorry, sorry, baby, fuck—” before slamming in so deep you swear he’s fucking your soul out of your body. He doesn’t stop. Not even when you start to tremble, then seize up, body clamped so tight around him you think it might snap him in two. He keeps moving, relentless, grinding you to dust on the inside and the outside, and the sounds coming out of his mouth break open something raw in your chest—a wet, hiccupping sob choked down between every thrust. He feels everything too much, all at once, and it hurts, you can see it in the way his hands shake against your skin, the way he buries his face in your neck like he’s trying to hide from himself.
You want to tell him it’s okay, that you want it, that you want him, but your tongue is heavy, glued to the roof of your mouth. All you can do is take it, take him, every brutal inch, and hope it helps. The room is a blur: lamp tipped on its side, blood pounding in your ears, the hot animal stink of sweat and sex and desperate, chemical need. You’re so full it hurts, but you keep clenching, greedy for more, even as your muscles threaten to give out.
He pins your wrists to the mattress, fingers threaded through yours, so tight it burns. You twist under him, searching for leverage, but he flattens you, cages you, and there’s no air left in your lungs. His cock pistons in, then out, a punishing, friction-sharp rhythm that makes you see strobing white. You feel it all: the stretch, the obscene wet slap, the pulse of blood behind your clit, the way your body tries to force him out but can’t. For a second, you wonder if it’s permanent, if you’ll ever be able to close again without the imprint of him inside you. He keeps his hand on your throat, not squeezing, just holding, grounding himself with your pulse as he chases that feeling through you. The pressure behind your eyes is unbearable; you can’t tell if you’re lightheaded from the lack of air, or from the way he pounds you, relentless even as your body goes limp.
“Ah shit, ah shit- baby- He rasps. You can feel his body burning so unbelievably hot that it burns your skin.
“Shit, baby, i think i’m gonna come-” He rasps, and his hips pick up speed. You’re not sure if you’re even conscious when it happens; your body is numb but your brain is a live wire, the noise in your skull too loud to parse. He moves again, humping at you in little, frantic jerks, already hard, never soft. He sounds panicked, desperate, like he’s drowning and needs you to save him.
“Please, baby, fuck, please,” he gasps, and you push back into him, let him set the new rhythm, not even thinking. You’re beyond pain, beyond thought; just animal, just wet and open and clenching down because you have nothing else to give. You feel every inch, every vein, every frantic stutter of his cock, and it’s like you were made for this, for him, for the way he fills you up and burns you clean from the inside out.
Frank’s cock jerks inside you and the heat floods out in a wave, so much come you can feel it forcing its way out past the seal of you both, drooling down your thighs and pooling under your knees. He collapses against your back, and the world goes silent except for the crash of his heartbeat and the rasp of his breathing. He doesn’t pull out. He doesn’t move at all, not even to loosen the grip he’s got on your wrists. For a second, you think he’s passed out. Then you hear it—a soft, broken noise in the hollow of your shoulder, the kind of sound that only comes out when the body runs out of things to burn. He shudders, the shift of his body smearing sweat and spit and tears down your back. You’re both shaking, but his is an aftershock, yours is still the quake. He buries his nose in your hair, inhaling like it might save him. A minute passes. Then another. He’s still inside you, and you can feel every twitch, every minute pulse, like your walls are mapped to his heartbeat.
“Baby,” he croaks, and his voice is so small you almost don’t hear it. “Jesus. Fuck. Are you—” He can’t finish. He’s breathing like he’s been sprinting for miles. You can’t breathe right. Every inch of skin feels flayed, body spasming around the thickness of him still buried in you. Frank is nothing but heat and bone and the low, sick whimper echoing in your ear. You don’t know if you’re crying, but your face is wet and your teeth ache from clenching. You’re glad you didn’t say no—glad you could take it, for him, whatever this is. You’re glad to be the thing he needs, even if you don’t understand the why of it. He doesn’t move. Not one millimeter. You try to flex around him, a weak squeeze, and he makes a soft, torn sound. There’s shame in it. You don’t have to see his face—you can feel it in the way he goes slack against your back, the way his arms drop away from you like he’s afraid of his own hands. He pulls out so slow you want to scream, cock dragging against your swollen, battered walls, and the afterrush of everything floods out between your thighs. You collapse onto the wet, ruined sheets, legs so dead you couldn’t move if you tried.
“Shit, shit !” He rasps, gently reaching for you and flipping you over to your back. The haze that filled his eyes is gone now, and he looks at your body in pure horror.
Bruises.
Bite marks.
The indentation of his fingers.
You blink into the light. You’re vibrating apart, every nerve raw and humming. Frank’s hands hover, then drop. He’s kneeling above you, shaking, looking down like he’s a monster who’s just drawn a bloodline in the sand and crossed it. Frank stares at the marks on your hips in horror, mouth open but no words coming out, breath rattling. He drags a hand over his face and looks at you, really looks, and his eyes go wide and dark like he’s seeing you for the first time.
“Jesus, baby, I—fuck, I’m—” He can’t even say it. His hands flutter, wanting to reach, not daring. You’re splayed open, cold now that he’s not filling you, the wet between your legs turning sticky against your skin. It’s obscene, the way your body wants him even now, the ache in your cunt still a live wire, pulsing. You press your legs together but he’s left you so stretched there’s nothing to squeeze. Frank scrambles off the bed and almost falls, legs shaking, cock slapping wet against his thigh. He’s pale and sweating, haunted, retreating from you like you’re radioactive. In the bathroom you hear him gag, then the faucet running, then another low, choked noise that’s all guilt and fear.
You lie in the mess and wait. The ceiling is just a white blur, your blood humming in your ears.
You could sleep forever.
Or die.
Either would be a mercy. You roll to your side, wince at the wet slap between your thighs, the way your body won’t hold you together. Your hand comes away sticky, smeared with both of you. You wipe it on the sheets, a halfhearted gesture, and laugh—quiet, ugly, edged with hysteria.
Frank comes back in, eyes rimmed red. He’s holding a towel and a bottle of water, both with the same careful gentleness that he used to carry your favorite takeout after a long shift. He doesn’t look at you while he presses the towel between your legs, mopping up the worst of the mess. His hands are shaking so bad he can’t get it right, so you grab the towel, dig it in yourself. The rough scrape hurts and you do it anyway.
He sits on the edge of the bed, as far from you as he can get without falling off, and stares at the wall.
“I don’t know what the fuck—” he starts, but his voice cracks. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. I’m so fucking sorry.” Frank's voice cracks on the last word, the sound swallowed by the thick, oppressive silence of the room. He can't look at you. His gaze is fixed on the wall, but he's not seeing the paint or the framed photo of your wedding day. He's seeing the imprint of his hands on your skin, the way your body went limp under his, the sounds you made that were half pleasure, half pain. He's seeing a monster wearing his face.
"Frankie," you start, your own voice a raspy whisper. You push yourself up, ignoring the screaming protest of every muscle. The sheet sticks to you, damp and cold. "Frankie, look at me." He flinches like you've struck him. He doesn't turn.
"Don't. Don't… don't be nice to me right now. I don't deserve it."
"Deserve's got nothing to do with it," you manage, swinging your legs over the side of the bed. The world tilts, and you brace a hand on the nightstand. "What happened? The powder. You said something about red powder." His shoulders hunch. He runs a hand through his sweat-damp hair, the gesture sharp and agitated.
"It was during my stupid mission. In the warehouse. Some old bastard… thought he was carrying a piece but he wasn't. Had a canister. I shot him, but he… he popped it. Red dust. Got all over me." He finally turns his head, and the devastation in his eyes makes your chest ache. "It was nothing at first. Just… weird. Then driving home… it was like a fire got lit inside me. A fever. And then… and then I saw you."He says it like a confession. Like seeing you, safe and asleep in your bed, was the catalyst that turned a chemical reaction into an act of violence. To him, it was.
"Okay," you say slowly, trying to piece it together through the fog of exhaustion and lingering arousal. "So it was a drug. Something that made you… like this."
"I didn't want to hurt you," he says, the words rushing out, thick with unshed tears. "I swear to god, I tried to stop. I tried to leave the room. I tried to… fuck, I don't know what I tried. Every second I was fighting it, but my body… it wasn't mine anymore. It was just… need. And you were there." You reach for his hand, and he lets you take it, his fingers cold and limp in yours.
"We need to figure out what it was. What it's doing to you." Your mind races, sifting through the limited options. The fever, the relentless… need. It's beyond anything you understand. "Frank… we should call Bruce. He knows this stuff. Chemicals, weird science, biological reactions. He could help." The reaction is instantaneous and violent. Frank snatches his hand back as if you've offered him poison. He's on his feet, pacing the small space at the end of the bed like a caged animal. The movement is jerky, still fueled by a residual tremor in his limbs.
"No. No fucking way."
"Frank, be reasonable," you plead, trying to stand, but your legs give out and you sink back onto the mattress. "You were burning up for almost three hours. We don't know if this is… if it's actually over, or if it's going to cause damage to you long term. He's the smartest guy we know. He could probably identify it over the phone."
"I said no!" he snaps, the voice of the Punisher cutting through the raw, wounded man from a moment ago. He stops pacing and glares at you, but the anger is all directed inward. "You think I'm gonna call that green freak and tell him I lost control? That I drugged myself and used my wife like a goddamn fleshlight until she passed out? You think I want him to know what I did to you?" The words are ugly, brutal, and they hang in the air between you. But you hear the fear underneath. The shame.
"Frank, it wasn't you," you insist, your voice gaining a little strength. "It was whatever was in that canister. Bruce would understand that."
"I don't care !" he shouts, running both hands through his hair in frustration. "I'm not telling him! I'm not telling anybody! The last thing I need is… is a lab coat poking at me while I explain how I couldn't keep my dick in my pants!" He stops, his chest heaving. He looks at the mess on the bed, at the marks on your skin visible even in the dim light, and the anger drains out of him, replaced by a crushing wave of self-loathing. He sinks to his knees at the foot of the bed, far enough away that he can't touch you, close enough that he can see the damage.
"Forget fucking Banner right now," he says, his voice quiet now, broken. "Forget everybody. Just… just let me take care of you. Please. We can call whoever the hell you want in the morning, sweetheart, i just-" He looks up at you, his eyes pleading. He rests his forehead against the mattress, his whole body trembling with the force of his regret. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." You run your fingers through his hair.
"It's okay, Frank." He shakes his head so hard it almost looks painful.
"No." His voice is barely audible. "No, don't…" Another shake. "Don't say that." You frown.
"Frank—"
"I hurt you." The words come out flat. Certain. Like a verdict that's already been handed down. "I've spent years making damn sure I never did." He laughs once. It's a horrible sound. Empty.
"You know…" His eyes stay fixed on the floor. "I've broken bones with these hands." He holds them out in front of him. They won't stop trembling. "I've killed with these hands." His fingers curl into fists. "But every time I came home…" His voice cracks. "…I left all that outside." He looks up at you then, eyes red and swollen. "I never wanted you to be scared of me."
"I'm not."
"You should be."
"I'm not."
"I left bruises on you." You instinctively glance down. Finger-shaped marks are already darkening across your wrists and hips. Frank follows your gaze. Whatever composure he'd managed to hold together shatters.
"Oh, God…" He covers his face. "I did that."
"You were drugged."
"I did that."
"It wasn't your choice."
"It was my hands." His breathing starts to hitch. Not panicked. Not angry. Just… broken.
"I've spent every day since we got married trying to be gentle with you." He laughs bitterly through tears. "Remember the first time I helped you out of the shower after you sprained your ankle?" You nod. "You kept telling me I was holding you like you were made of glass."
"You were."
"'Cause I was scared I'd hurt you." Another tear slips down his face. "I've always been scared I'd hurt you." His shoulders begin to shake. "I know what I am."
"No."
"I do."
"Frank."
"I know what I've done." He presses the heels of his palms into his eyes. "I can live with what I've done to people who deserved it." His voice drops to almost nothing. "I don't know how to live with doing it to you." You slide carefully off the bed. Every muscle protests. Your legs are unsteady. Frank notices immediately. His head snaps up.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm coming here."
"No." He backs away on instinct. "Don't."
"Frank."
"I'm filthy."
"No."
"I don't deserve—" You ignore him. You kneel in front of him anyway. It hurts. He notices that too. His face crumples.
"Baby…" You take his face in your hands. He tries to pull away. You don't let him.
"You have never once hurt me on purpose." He closes his eyes.
"That doesn't make this disappear."
"No. It doesn't." You rest your forehead against his. "But neither does you punishing yourself." His breath catches. "I married a man who checks the water temperature before I get into the shower." A tiny smile threatens at the corner of your mouth. "The man who apologizes if he bumps into me in the kitchen." He lets out a watery laugh."The man who still asks before touching me if he thinks I've had a bad day." Another tear rolls down his cheek. "That's my husband." You squeeze his hand. "Not whatever you think that powder turned you into." For a long time he doesn't answer.
Then, finally.... He leans forward. Just enough to rest his forehead against your shoulder. His entire body starts shaking.
Years of discipline. Years of control. Years of refusing himself the luxury of falling apart.
Gone.
He cries. Quietly. Like he's ashamed to even make noise. You hold him. Running slow circles across his back. Neither of you knows how long you stay like that. Eventually, his breathing evens out.
"I'm so tired," he whispers.
"I know."
"I'm scared to sleep." You pull back enough to look at him.
"Why?"
"What if it isn't over?" The fear in his eyes is raw. "What if I wake up like that again?"
"You won't."
"You don't know that."
"No." You brush damp hair back from his forehead. "I don't." A beat. "But if something's wrong…" You lace your fingers through his. "…we'll face it together." He nods once. Reluctantly.
You convince him into a hot shower—not together, just enough to wash the chemical residue and sweat away. He insists on checking the water temperature for you before you step in, a habit so familiar it almost makes you cry. Afterwards he helps you into one of his old T-shirts and fresh pajamas with painstaking care, asking every few seconds if you're hurting, if you're dizzy, if he's moving too fast. When you finally crawl back into bed, he doesn't touch you. He lies on his back, rigid, leaving almost a foot of space between you. As though he's afraid his own skin might betray him again.
You reach across the mattress. Find his hand. He startles.
"It's okay," you whisper.
He hesitates before turning his hand over and intertwining your fingers. Neither of you says anything else. Exhaustion eventually wins.
-------
Morning arrives gray and quiet. You wake first. Frank is wrapped around you so tightly you fear he might actually suffocate you.
One arm is around your waist.
The other is tucked protectively beneath your neck.
One leg is hooked over yours.
You're fairly certain if someone tried to kidnap you, they'd have to take Frank with you. You blink up at the ceiling.
"…Frank." A sleepy grunt. "You are crushing me." Another grunt.
"No, I'm not."
"You absolutely are."
"I'm protecting you."
"From oxygen?" His eyes stay closed.
"…Maybe." You smile despite yourself.
"Frankie."
"Hm?"
"I need circulation."
"You've got circulation."
"My left arm is completely numb." He cracks one eye open.
"That's because you're dramatic."
"Oh, I'm dramatic?"
"Very." You wiggle experimentally. Every muscle below your waist immediately protests. You hiss through your teeth. Frank is fully awake before the sound has even finished leaving your mouth. His entire body goes rigid.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"What hurts?" You sigh.
"My everything." His face falls. Immediately.
"Oh…" He sits up so fast the mattress bounces. "I'm sorry."
"Frank."
"I'm so—"
"Frank."
"I shouldn't have—" You reach over and flick him lightly on the forehead.
"Ow."
"Good." He rubs the spot with exaggerated offense.
"You flicked me."
"You were spiraling."
"I wasn't."
"You apologized three times in six seconds."
"I could've hit seven." You can't help laughing. The sound makes his shoulders loosen just a fraction. "There's my girl."
He reaches toward you automatically. Then hesitates halfway. His hand hangs awkwardly in the air. You notice. Without saying anything, you take it yourself. His fingers close around yours immediately.
"I'm sore," you admit.
"I know."
"But I'm okay."
"I know."
"You look like you're about to throw up."
"I might." You roll your eyes.
"If you pass out before breakfast, I'm divorcing you." That earns the tiniest smile.
"You'd miss me."
"I would."
"You love me."
"Unfortunately."
"Hm." He nods once. "Still marrying me again."
"Maybe."
"Definitely."
"Depends."
"On?"
"Whether you make coffee." Without another word, Frank stands.
"I'll make coffee."
"And pancakes."
"I'll make pancakes."
"And bacon."
"I'll make bacon."
"And you're doing dishes." He points at you.
"Now you're pushing it." You grin.
"There he is."
"Who?"
"My grumpy husband."
"I was always here."
"You disappeared for a bit." His smile fades.
"I know." The room grows quiet again. You squeeze his hand.
"We're still here." He nods.
"We're still here." An hour later, the kitchen smells like coffee and burnt toast. Frank glares at the toaster.
"It betrayed me."
"You forgot to push it down."
"I was distracted."
"By?" He glances at you.
"You walked funny." You freeze halfway to your chair.
"…Excuse me?"
"You winced."
"I did not."
"You absolutely did."
"I tripped."
"You tripped while standing still."
"I was thinking."
"You were limping."
"I was not limping." Frank raises one eyebrow. You sigh dramatically.
"I was… walking thoughtfully." He snorts into his coffee.
"Thoughtfully."
"Exactly."
"You've got a hitch in your step."
"I hate you."
"No, you don't."
"No." You smile into your mug. "I really don't." His expression softens again.
"I'm sorry." You point your fork at him.
"That's apology number… honestly, I've lost count."
"I'm serious."
"So am I." You reach across the table.
"I know you are." He looks at your joined hands. Then down at his plate.
"I've never…" His voice trails off.
"I know."
"I've always worried…" He swallows. "…about bringing that part of my life home."
"You never did."
"I almost did."
"You came home because you trusted me."
"I came home because I didn't know where else to go."
"And that's okay." He nods slowly.
"Still hate that you're hurting."
"I'll survive."
"I know."
"I've survived your cooking."
"The toast wasn't that bad."
"It achieved a level of carbon previously unknown to science."
"It was artisanal."
"It was charcoal." He chuckles quietly. The sound feels like sunlight. After breakfast, Frank disappears into the laundry room. A minute later you hear,
"…Sweetheart?"
"What?"
"Where're the freezer bags?" You blink.
"The… freezer bags?"
"Yeah." You find him standing over yesterday's discarded clothes with a pair of barbecue tongs.
"…Frank."
"What?"
"Why are you holding my kitchen tongs?"
"I'm not touching that stuff."
"You literally fought an entire warehouse."
"Bullets don't usually come covered in mystery chemicals." Fair point. You hand him a box of large zip-top storage bags. He carefully picks up his shirt with the tongs.
"You know," you say, leaning against the doorway, "Bruce is never going to let you live this down." Frank stuffs the shirt into the bag.
"He says one word—"
"He'll say at least twelve."
"I'll leave."
"You can't."
"I absolutely can."
"You need him."
"I know." He seals the bag with excessive force. "I'm just not happy about it." You laugh.
"I'm putting money on Tony finding out within the hour." Frank looks horrified.
"…Don't even joke."
"I'm serious."
"He'll make a PowerPoint."
"He'll make merch."
"He'll name the chemical after me."
"'Castle Syndrome.'"
"'Frank's Bad Decision Dust.'"
"'Horny Powder.'" You burst out laughing. Frank pinches the bridge of his nose.
"I hate all of you."
"You haven't even left the house yet."
"I'm getting a headache in advance." You tuck the sealed evidence bag into another airtight container.
"There." You smile up at him. "Ready?" Frank takes a long breath. His eyes drift briefly to you, checking—again—that you're steady on your feet.
"You sure you're okay to go?"
"I'm sure."
"You'll tell me if you're hurting?"
"I will."
"You promise?"
"I promise." He studies you for another second before nodding. Then he picks up the container with the contaminated clothes as though it contains a live grenade.
"Let's go." You slip your hand into his free one.
"And maybe," you add, "let's not open the conversation with 'Hi, Bruce, I accidentally got dusted by horny cocaine.'" Frank groans.
"…I'm driving."
"You say that like it solves the problem."
"It solves my problem."
The drive to the Avengers Compound is unusually quiet. Normally, Tony would have received at least three sarcastic voice messages by now. Today, Frank's hands stay locked around the steering wheel. Every few minutes, he glances sideways.
"You okay?" You nod.
"I'm okay." Five minutes later—
"You sure?" You smile faintly.
"I'm still okay." Another red light.
"You dizzy?"
"No."
"You nauseous?"
"A little." His grip tightens.
"Frank."
"What?"
"You've asked me twenty-three questions."
"I have not."
"You absolutely have."
"…Twenty-two." You snort. He doesn't. He's serious. Painfully serious. You reach across the center console and squeeze his forearm.
"I'm fine." His eyes remain on the road.
"I know."
"No." You shake your head. "You don't." He finally looks at you for half a second.
"I don't know anything right now." Bruce is already waiting when the two of you arrive. He takes one look at Frank's expression and immediately frowns.
"…Frank."
"Banner." Bruce's eyes move to you.
"You alright?" You answer before Frank can.
"I'm sore." Frank visibly winces. Bruce notices.
"So… why don't we start from the beginning?" Frank sets the airtight container on the lab bench like it's an unexploded bomb.
"I brought the clothes." Bruce blinks.
"…Good?"
"I wasn't touching 'em."
"You carried them with barbecue tongs," you add. Bruce looks between the two of you.
"…You carried contaminated evidence with kitchen utensils?" Frank crosses his arms.
"They're stainless steel." Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose.
"I'm… not sure that's the issue." Frank shrugs.
"They were clean."
"They're definitely not anymore."
"They're in the dishwasher." Bruce sighs.
"I'm suddenly very concerned about your dishwasher." Despite everything, you laugh. Frank looks relieved just to hear it. Bruce pulls on gloves and carefully removes Frank's shirt from the bag. The fabric still carries faint reddish stains near the collar.
"Hm." He transfers tiny samples into a glass dish. The lab falls quiet except for the hum of machines. Frank paces. You sit on one of the stools, trying very hard not to shift your weight. Every muscle in your hips protests. You ignore it. Frank notices anyway.
"You alright?"
"Yep."
"You just made a face."
"I was… thinking." Bruce looks over his shoulder.
"Thoughtfully?" You glare.
"He's infected everyone." Frank almost smiles. Almost. Bruce spends another several minutes scanning the residue, and taking a blood sample from Frank. Then he pauses.
"…Well." Neither of you likes that tone.
"What?" Frank asks immediately. Bruce adjusts the image on the monitor.
"It's… not exactly what I expected."
"What is it?" Bruce folds his arms.
"The compound appears to be an engineered biochemical aerosol." Frank stares.
"In English." Bruce sighs.
"It hijacks several neurochemical pathways simultaneously."
"…English."
"It artificially stimulates areas of the brain associated with sexual arousal, reward, impulse suppression, and temperature regulation." You blink.
"So…" Bruce clears his throat.
"It's… essentially a weaponized aphrodisiac." Frank looks horrified. Bruce continues, almost apologetically. "An extremely aggressive one."
"…You're telling me I got hit with sex pollen?" Bruce hesitates.
"…Scientifically speaking…Yes. Your sex drive went into overdrive."
Silence.
Frank rubs both hands over his face.
"Fuck's sake. I got taken out by horny fairy dust." The lab doors slide open.
"Please tell me somebody said 'horny fairy dust.'"
Tony.
Of course.
He strolls in carrying a coffee the size of a flower vase.
"I leave for one meeting…" His eyes land on Frank. "…and somehow Castle has managed to invent a brand-new category of workplace incident." Frank groans.
"I knew it." Tony points dramatically.
"I called it!"
"You weren't here."
"I psychically called it." Bruce mutters,
"I absolutely did not tell him."
"I have ears."
"You have surveillance software."
"I have excellent surveillance software." Tony finally notices you.
"You okay?"
"I'm fine." He nods. Then his eyes catch something near your shoulder where your oversized T-shirt has slipped. A dark bite mark. He winces.
"…Wow." Frank immediately turns.
"What?" You instinctively pull the collar up.
"Nothing." Frank's face drains of color. He'd seen the bruises. He hadn't seen that. Tony opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again.
"I'm gonna make exactly one joke." Bruce sighs.
"Tony."
"I'm exercising tremendous restraint."
Bruce looks back toward the monitor.
"Based on your blood sample, i'd say the toxin has been cleared from your system." He says. He looks back up at Frank. "Do you have any idea how ?" Frank freezes beside you. His ears go bright red.
"Uh.. Well.." he starts, his gaze fixed somewhere on the floor tiles. "There was… a lot of… liquid intake." Tony’s coffee freezes halfway to his lips. His eyes widen in dawning, gleeful comprehension. Bruce, bless him, just looks confused.
"Liquid intake?" Bruce asks, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Hydration is good, but I'm not sure how that would metabolize a complex neurotoxin this quickly. We're talking about a half-life of—"
"He doesn't mean he drank a lot of water, Bruce," Tony cuts in, his voice dripping with suppressed laughter. "He means Mrs Castle here had a lot of liquid intake." He makes a vague gesture towards Frank's groin. Frank’s entire face is now the color of a stop sign.
"Stark, I swear to God—"
"What ? You gonna hit me because you came in your wife ?"
"Tony !" You hiss, stepping between them before Frank can actually make good on the promise in his eyes. "He's not the only one who came, you know. It was a team effort." Tony blinks. Frank, who had been coiled to strike, freezes so completely you can hear the blood rushing in your ears. He slowly lowers his fists, turning his head to look at you with an expression of pure, unadulterated shock. Tony, however, recovers instantly. His grin becomes a thing of legend.
"A team effort," he repeats, savoring the words. "I like that. Collaborative problem-solving. Very Avengers of you. So, just to be clear for my notes, was this a… simultaneous deployment, or a series of controlled bursts?" Bruce finally catches on, and a horrified blush creeps up his neck.
"Tony, for the love of God, stop."
"No, no, this is a legitimate scientific inquiry!" Tony insists, pointing a finger at Frank. "Because, and I'm just spitballing here, you didn't know this would work, did you, Castle? You just went for it. You looked at a situation involving a weaponized aphrodisiac and your solution was… what? More sex? Rougher sex? Did you have a hypothesis? 'If I just rail her into next week, maybe the chemical bonds will break from sheer force of will?'" Frank's jaw works, but the rage is being replaced by a deep, soul-crushing mortification. He looks at Tony, then at you, then at the floor.
"It… seemed like a good idea at the time, I couldn't exactly control it." he mumbles, the words barely audible.
"It seemed like a good idea," Tony crows, delighted. "The man's entire tactical genius boils down to 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'! I'm putting that on your tombstone. 'Frank Castle: He Had A Good Idea Once.'" You can't help it. A small, helpless laugh escapes you. Frank shoots you a wounded look, but you just pat his arm.
"He's not wrong," you whisper. 'You did come home quite charged and didn't really think." Bruce, desperate to regain control of his lab, clears his throat loudly.
"Okay. Fascinating as this… post-op analysis is, we should discuss the aftereffects." He looks at you, his expression professional but tinged with concern. "The chemical was designed to lower inhibitions and increase physical endurance. The… physical activity… would have been intense. You should be checked over. Just to make sure there are no… internal injuries." Frank's head snaps up, his face a mask of renewed horror. He looks at you, his eyes wide with a fresh wave of guilt.
"Jesus," he breathes. You feel your own cheeks heat up. You wave a dismissive hand, trying for nonchalance and probably failing.
"Oh, I'm… I'm fine. Really. Just… a little tender."
"Tender?" Tony jumps on the word. "Tender is for steak! Jesus, sweetheart, you have a bite mark on your shoulder ! I frankly don't even want to see what you're hidin' under them clothes."
"Tony, I swear to God—" Frank starts, but you cut him off.
"I'm fine. I swear." you manage, your throat dry.
"Listen, i know this is awkward but-"
"Seriously, Bruce. I'm fine." You say. Bruce pushes his glasses up his nose, his expression shifting from concerned to deeply uncomfortable.
"I know you are, but I need to be sure. We don't have enough data on the transmission vector of this compound. Frank's blood is clear, but we only tested his. The toxin was primarily absorbed through his respiratory system and skin. However, the… fluid transfer… creates a new variable." You frown.
"What variable?" Bruce sighs, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else on earth.
"We don't know if the compound can be passed between hosts like a sexually transmitted disease. Frank's system may have flushed it out, but if there's any residual trace in his semen, and if it's still viable… it could reinfect you. Or worse, it could mutate. We have no precedent for this." The lab goes dead silent. Tony, who had been smirking with self-satisfaction, slowly lowers his coffee mug. The humor drains from his face, replaced by a dawning, clinical curiosity that's somehow even more unnerving.
"Whoa," he says softly. "Reinfection. Mutation. So, what you're saying is, Castle's… cure… might actually be the carrier for round two?" Frank looks like he's been physically struck. He stares at Bruce, his face a mask of horror, all the blood having drained from it. He glances at you, his eyes wide with a fresh, sickening wave of guilt. It's one thing to have lost control in the heat of the moment; it's another thing entirely to have potentially poisoned you with it.
"So… what?" Frank asks, his voice a hoarse rasp. "What does that mean?"
"It means," Bruce says, choosing his words with extreme care, "that until I can run more simulations and analyze the data, you should… abstain. From any and all sexual intercourse. Just to be safe. We need a clean baseline to make sure she's not carrying it either."
"Abstain," Frank repeats, the word sounding foreign and wrong in his mouth. Tony, ever the helpful one, chimes in.
"Yeah, you know. No more 'collaborative problem-solving.' No more 'controlled bursts.' You're on a mandatory dry run, Castle. For science." You can't help it. A small, hysterical bubble of laughter escapes your lips. It's either that or cry. Frank looks at you like you've grown a second head.
"Sorry," you choke out, waving a hand. "It's just… the timing." Frank just stares at you, then at Bruce, then at the floor. He looks utterly defeated. He came here for answers, for a clean slate, and instead, he's been handed a life sentence. He nods, a short, sharp, jerky motion.
"Right. No… that. Right." He turns to you, his expression a mixture of apology and profound misery. "Let's… let's go." He doesn't wait for a reply. He just turns and walks out of the lab, his shoulders hunched, his steps heavy. You shoot a helpless look at Bruce, who just gives you a sympathetic shrug, and then at Tony, who has the decency to look at least a little bit ashamed. You hurry after Frank, catching up to him just as he reaches the elevator. The doors slide shut, enclosing you in the small, silent space. He doesn't look at you. He just stares at the numbers counting down, his jaw clenched so tight you're surprised his teeth don't crack.
"Frank," you say softly. He doesn't respond. "Frank, it's okay."
"It's not okay," he says, his voice low and rough. "I… I hurt you. And now… now I can't even… touch you."
"You can touch me," you say, reaching out and placing a hand on his arm. "Just not… that." He lets out a short, bitter laugh.
"Might as well be the same thing." The elevator doors open, and he walks out into the garage, heading straight for the car. He's quiet on the drive home, staring out the window, his jaw working. You can almost hear the gears turning in his head, replaying every humiliating moment. When you get back to the apartment, he heads straight for the kitchen, pulling a beer from the fridge. He twists the cap off and takes a long swallow, leaning against the counter.
"He's never gonna let it live it down, is he?" Frank asks, his voice low and rough.
"No," you say gently, moving to stand in front of him. You take the beer from his hand and set it aside, then wrap your arms around his waist, resting your cheek against his chest. "He's going to have PowerPoint presentations. There might be merch. He's probably already designing a logo for 'Frank's Bad Decision Dust.'" Frank's arms come around you, holding you tight. You feel him let out a long, shuddering breath.
"I'm sorry," he says, his voice muffled in your hair. "For all of it. For… last night. For this morning. For… all of it." You pull back just enough to look up at him.
"Hey. Look at me." He meets your gaze, his eyes filled with a familiar, weary self-loathing. "We're okay. You hear me? We're okay."
"I hurt you."
"And I'm sore," you admit. "But I'm not broken. And you didn't mean to. It wasn't you."
"It felt like me," he says quietly.
"It wasn't," you say, your voice firm. "It was the… fairy dust." You can't help but smile a little. "The horny fairy dust." A tiny smile touches his lips, so faint you almost miss it.
"Horny fairy dust," he repeats, shaking his head. "Jesus."
CMBYN inspired because i can’t stop thinking about it ?? enjoy!
warnings: smut, age gap (implied mostly), unprotected sex (don’t do that), public sex (again, don’t), a really bad impersonation of the cmbyn world, no proofreading
CMBYN-ish but it’s history professor bucky barnes applying for this 8-week summer program and forgetting all about it
until he’s standing in front of a (almost crumbling, yet horrendously charming) italian villa
until he’s sitting at dinners in linen shirts, three different conversations buzzing all around him and each of them feel profoundly intellectual and he starts sweating a bit
until the hosting-archaeologists 23 year old daughter pushes a fresh glass of wine toward him and smiles because this happens every summer
until she comes up to his door at stupid o’clock in the morning and asks if he wants to go for a swim because it’s hot
until he’s freezing in boxers in a creek and genuinely doesn’t know how he got here
until the girl in front of him is in the water, yes, but she is fucking bathed in moonlight, looking like Tethys rose out of the river herself
until he spends the next few days trying to forget the way her hair curled up when wet, and her arms glimmered with water drops
until there’s a dinner party with 50,000 people because this damn family know everyone, and he’s sweating again
until 5 glasses of wine and countless ‘ah! the american!’s later he’s leaning against an ivy-covered wall somewhere, staring off into the distance
until the girl steps by his side again, white linen all flowing around her shins, the setting sun making her gold
until she offers a little walk, she can see his stress from across the garden and it’s quite frankly off putting so it’s for best
until he blinks and he is in the most gorgeous valley, surrounded by wildflowers, soft grass, and actual silence (cicadas too, but he forgets them when he looks at her)
until they sit down, and she takes her shoes off, the dress rising up above her thighs and he is sweating again
until his hands reach out for the silky-looking skin, trembling in their reverence
until she ends up on top of him, the two of them a mess of clashing tongues and roaming hands
until neither of them bother getting undressed, just sliding stuff out of the way so he can push in
until he does, and her lips part in a gasp against his, and he can’t do anything but grab at her waist, fingers pressing into her
until she starts moving, just a slow roll of the hips first because he’s big, but she can’t wait
until he falls back, and she goes with him, his hands on her ass now doing all the work for them, moving her up and down, up and down, up and down, until he can’t take it anymore and rolls them over
until he starts fucking into her like he’s digging for gold, deep and pointed, their heavy breathing and the “plap, plap, plap” of skin-on-skin disturbs all the cicadas around them
until her leg wraps around his waist and he gets deeper somehow, losing all his composure to keep hitting that spot inside her that just made her whine
until they both give out, sweating, trembling, breathless, leaking around each other, grass in each of their hair
until she giggles, admits she’s been wanting to do that since he arrived, and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with himself for the next two months
CMBYN inspired because i can’t stop thinking about it ?? enjoy!
warnings: smut, age gap (implied mostly), unprotected sex (don’t do that), public sex (again, don’t), a really bad impersonation of the cmbyn world, no proofreading
CMBYN-ish but it’s history professor bucky barnes applying for this 8-week summer program and forgetting all about it
until he’s standing in front of a (almost crumbling, yet horrendously charming) italian villa
until he’s sitting at dinners in linen shirts, three different conversations buzzing all around him and each of them feel profoundly intellectual and he starts sweating a bit
until the hosting-archaeologists 23 year old daughter pushes a fresh glass of wine toward him and smiles because this happens every summer
until she comes up to his door at stupid o’clock in the morning and asks if he wants to go for a swim because it’s hot
until he’s freezing in boxers in a creek and genuinely doesn’t know how he got here
until the girl in front of him is in the water, yes, but she is fucking bathed in moonlight, looking like Tethys rose out of the river herself
until he spends the next few days trying to forget the way her hair curled up when wet, and her arms glimmered with water drops
until there’s a dinner party with 50,000 people because this damn family know everyone, and he’s sweating again
until 5 glasses of wine and countless ‘ah! the american!’s later he’s leaning against an ivy-covered wall somewhere, staring off into the distance
until the girl steps by his side again, white linen all flowing around her shins, the setting sun making her gold
until she offers a little walk, she can see his stress from across the garden and it’s quite frankly off putting so it’s for best
until he blinks and he is in the most gorgeous valley, surrounded by wildflowers, soft grass, and actual silence (cicadas too, but he forgets them when he looks at her)
until they sit down, and she takes her shoes off, the dress rising up above her thighs and he is sweating again
until his hands reach out for the silky-looking skin, trembling in their reverence
until she ends up on top of him, the two of them a mess of clashing tongues and roaming hands
until neither of them bother getting undressed, just sliding stuff out of the way so he can push in
until he does, and her lips part in a gasp against his, and he can’t do anything but grab at her waist, fingers pressing into her
until she starts moving, just a slow roll of the hips first because he’s big, but she can’t wait
until he falls back, and she goes with him, his hands on her ass now doing all the work for them, moving her up and down, up and down, up and down, until he can’t take it anymore and rolls them over
until he starts fucking into her like he’s digging for gold, deep and pointed, their heavy breathing and the “plap, plap, plap” of skin-on-skin disturbs all the cicadas around them
until her leg wraps around his waist and he gets deeper somehow, losing all his composure to keep hitting that spot inside her that just made her whine
until they both give out, sweating, trembling, breathless, leaking around each other, grass in each of their hair
until she giggles, admits she’s been wanting to do that since he arrived, and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with himself for the next two months
summary: James Buchanan Barnes has spent his entire career believing discipline solves everything. Then a brilliant, chronically late graduate student walks into his office, challenges every opinion he has and somehow turns his carefully ordered life upside down.
warnings: +18 MDNI explicit sexual content, age gap, enemies to lovers, forbidden romance, slow burn, sexual tension, office sex, praise kink, brat taming, dirty talk, dom Bucky Barnes, emotional hurt/comfort, mutual pining, power imbalance, happy ending.
a/n: I've been gatekeeping this story for three months since it was finished, and I started writing it in March! I'm glad I was finally able to post it this is my 1/4 for the Midterms & Metal Arms collab, make sure to see the rest! They will be posting every friday by @herejustforbuckybarnes, @buckysdecaflove & yours truly 🩶 (also, may I say thank you Esquire Malaysia for posting those pics? They're totally dean/professor Barnes coded)
read on AO3
You're twenty minutes late to your first mandatory meeting with the new Dean of Graduate Studies, and you don't even have a good excuse.
Well, that's not entirely true. You do have an excuse—your advisor's lecture ran over, and then there was a line at the coffee shop, and honestly, you'd forgotten about the meeting until you got the reminder notification—but whether it's a good excuse is debatable. Probably not good enough for someone like James Buchanan Barnes, whose reputation preceded him by about three weeks and several strongly worded emails.
The administrative assistant gives you a disapproving look as you breeze past her desk, still juggling your coffee and bag.
"He's been waiting for you for almost half an hour," she says, voice clipped.
"I know, I know. Traffic sucks."
It's 10 AM on a Wednesday, there was no traffic. She knows it. You know it. But you flash her your most charming smile anyway and knock twice on the heavy oak door before pushing it open.
"You're late."
His voice is deeper than you expected. Rough around the edges, like gravel and smoke. You take the opportunity to study him while his attention is elsewhere—dark hair that's a bit longer than typical administrator— short, sharp jaw, broad shoulders that fill out his button-down shirt in a way that's frankly distracting. He's younger than you pictured too. Mid-thirties, maybe. Which seems impossibly young for a dean, but then again, you'd heard he had an impressive background. Former military, something classified, then a PhD that he'd blazed through in record time.
Great. An overachiever with something to prove.
"Sorry," you say, not sounding particularly sorry. "My advisor's—"
"Save it." He finally looks up and you're struck by the intensity of his blue eyes. They sweep over you once, assessing, cataloging. You have the distinct impression he's already formed an opinion and it's not favorable. "Just don't let it happen again."
You bite back the retort on your tongue—yes, sir delivered with just enough sarcasm to be insubordinate— and instead, drop into one of the chairs across from his desk.
He watches you settle in, one eyebrow slightly raised. "I didn't say sit."
Oh, this is going to be fun.
"I assumed, since this is a meeting, we'd be sitting." You take a deliberate sip of your coffee, maintaining eye contact. "Unless you prefer to conduct business standing? I'm flexible."
Something flashes in his expression. Annoyance, maybe. Or disbelief that you'd speak to him like this in the first ten seconds of knowing him. "Ms—" He glances at his computer screen, confirming your name, even though you both know he already knows it. He called this meeting, after all. When he says your full name, it sounds like an indictment.
"You can just use my first name," you interrupt. "We're all adults here."
His jaw tightens almost imperceptibly. "I've asked you here because your academic record has come to my attention."
"Oh good, I love being noticed for my achievements."
"That's not—" He stops, taking a deep breath through his nose. Patience, you realize. He's already exercising patience with you and you've been in his office for less than two minutes. "Your grades are exceptional. Some of the highest in your program. Your research proposal was brilliant, according to Dr. Morrison. Which makes the rest of your file particularly… concerning."
You wait. Let him say it.
"You've missed 40% of your mandatory seminars this semester. You've submitted three separate assignments past deadline. You were given a verbal warning last month for—" he checks his notes"—'disruptive behavior during a guest lecture'. And apparently, you've been avoiding your advisory meetings."
"I haven't been avoiding them… Dr. Morrison and I have an understanding."
"An understanding." He repeats it like he's tasting something sour. "What kind of understanding allows a master's student to simply not show up to scheduled meetings with their advisor?"
You shrug. "The kind where he knows I'm working and doesn't need me to hold his hand through every stage of the process. I send updates, he responds. It's very efficient, actually."
Dean Barnes closes his laptop with a decisive click. He leans forward, palms flat on the desk, and you notice for the first time that his left hand has some scarring across the knuckles.
"Let me be very clear," he says, voice low and controlled. "I don't care how brilliant your research is or how high your GPA sits. At this university, under my administration, you will attend your required seminars. You will meet deadlines. You will show up to your advisory meetings and you will conduct yourself professionally. Are we understood?"
The reasonable part of your brain—the small, usually ignored part—suggests that maybe you should just nod and agree. This man has the power to make your academic life substantially more difficult. He could put you on probation, revoke funding, even recommend dismissal in extreme cases.
But there's something about his tone, the way he's looking at you like you're a problem to be solved, a recruit to be disciplined, that makes your spine straighten and your chin lift.
"I understand that you've been dean for all of three weeks and you're very eager to make your mark," you say sweetly. "But micromanaging graduate students who are already producing exceptional work seems like a waste of everyone's time. Maybe focus on the students who are actually failing?"
The temperature in the room drops about ten degrees.
Dean Barnes straightens slowly and you notice he's tall. Really tall. The kind of presence that would be commanding even without the title and the office and the obvious military bearing.
"This meeting is a courtesy," he says, each word precisely enunciated. "The next one won't be. You have two weeks to demonstrate significant improvement in your attendance and professional conduct. If I don't see that improvement, we'll be having a very different conversation about your continued enrollment in this program."
Your heart kicks against your ribs with anger—not fear, you tell yourself— but you keep your expression neutral.
"Is that all, Dean Barnes?" You load his title with just enough emphasis to make it clear what you think of this entire conversation.
"Yes, you're dismissed."
You stand, gathering your bag with unhurried movements. At the door, you pause and glance back. He's already focused on his computer again, effectively erasing you from his attention.
"See you around," you say lightly, but don't wait for a response.
Outside, the administrative assistant gives you a knowing look.
"How'd it go?"
"Oh, you know. Just another power-hungry administrator on a mission." You adjust your bag on your shoulder. "I give him six months before he burns out."
She actually laughs at that. "I wouldn't underestimate Dean Barnes. He doesn't strike me as the burning-out type"
"Everyone's the burning-out type eventually."
But as you walk back across campus, coffee gone cold in your hand, you can't quite shake the memory of those sharp blue eyes and the controlled anger in his voice.
Two weeks. He'd given you two weeks.
You'd show him improvement. Just… maybe not the kind he was expecting.
You make it exactly five days before you're back in Dean Barnes' office.
To be fair, this time it's not entirely your fault. Well, it's mostly not your fault. The seminar was mind numbingly boring, the visiting professor had clearly not updated his research since 2015, and when he'd made a factually incorrect statement about recent developments in your field, you'd… corrected him.
Publicly.
Perhaps with a bit more enthusiasm than necessary. And maybe you'd rolled your eyes when he'd tried to double down on his outdated information.
"Please tell me," Dean Barnes says as you walk into his office—on time, you note, which should count for something—"that you didn't tell Professor Whitmore that his keynote address was 'a fascinating glimpse into how people thought about this subject a decade ago."
You hover near the door. He hasn't invited you to sit, and you're not about to make the same assumption twice. "I was complimenting his historical perspective?"
"Sit down." It's not a request, so you sit.
He's wearing a different shirt today—still button-down, still perfectly pressed, but this one's a dark henley that makes his eyes look even bluer. He's also skipped the jacket, sleeves pushed up to his elbows, and you can see more of that scarring on his left forearm.
"Professor Whitmore," Dean Barnes continues, voice tight with controlled frustration, "is a respected scholar who has published over forty papers and—"
"Thirty-seven," you correct automatically. "And only twelve in the last ten years, most of which were just rehashing his—"
"That's not the point," he interrupts as he closes his eyes, like he's praying for patience.
"Then what is the point? That I'm supposed to sit there and smile while someone spreads misinformation to a room full of graduate students who might actually—"
"The point," he says, leaning forward, "is that you cannot speak to visiting faculty like they're undergraduates who got a question wrong on an exam. There's a way to engage in academic discourse that doesn't involve public humiliation."
"I didn't humiliate him. I just corrected—"
"You told him he should consider 'updating his references to include something from this century."
"And that's accurate feedback!"
"In front of sixty people!"
You're both on your feet now, though you don't remember standing. The desk is between you, but it feels like no distance at all.
"So what?" Your voice rises to match his. "I'm supposed to just sit there and nod along with bad science because his ego is too fragile to handle being challenged?"
"You're supposed to conduct yourself like a professional!" He slams his hand on the desk, and you actually flinch. Not from fear—from surprise at the crack in his controlled demeanor. "Do you have any idea how many complaints I've fielded about you in the past five days? Five days! You've been late to three more seminars, you got into an argument with Dr. Burns about her grading criteria, and now this!"
"Dr. Burns' grading criteria are arbitrary and—"
"I don't care!" He runs his hand through his hair. "I don't care if you're right. I don't care if every single person you've argued is wrong. You are a master's student at a prestigious university, and you will show respect to the faculty, or you will be gone. Do you understand me?"
The silence that follows is deafening.
You can hear your own heartbeat, can see the muscles ticking in his jaw, can feel the anger radiating off him in waves. "You want me to be a good little student," you say quietly, voice sharp as glass. "Smile and nod and never question anything, even when it's wrong."
"I want you to think before you speak. I want you to consider the consequences of your actions. I want you to act like someone who actually wants to be here."
"Jeez, Dean. I worked my ass of to get into this program, of course I want to be here!"
"Then act like it!" He's around the desk now, closing the distance between you. "Because from where I'm standing, you're doing everything possible to get yourself kicked out. Late, disruptive, insubordinate—"
"Oh, here we go." You laugh, but there's no humor in it. "Insubordinate. There it is. You know this isn't the military, right? You can't just bark orders and expect everyone to fall in line."
"You think I don't know that?"
"I think you're so used to people following your commands that you can't handle someone who pushes back."
"Pushes back?" He's close now, close enough that you have to tilt your head back to maintain eye contact. "You're not pushing back. You're acting like a spoiled brat who's never been told 'no' in her life."
The words hit like a slap. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me." His voice is lower now, but no less intense. "You think your intelligence gives you a free pass to treat everyone around you like they're beneath you. You think because you're smarter than most people in the room, the rules don't apply to you."
"That's not—"
"When's the last time you actually listened to feedback? When's the last time you considered that maybe, just maybe, someone else might have a point? Or are you so far up your own ass that you can't see how you're sabotaging yourself?"
Your hands are shaking from anger… at least that's what you tell yourself.
"You don't know anything about me."
"I know enough." He's not yelling anymore, which somehow makes it worse. "I know you're brilliant and talented and completely wasting it because you'd rather prove you're the smartest person in every room than actually accomplish anything meaningful. I know you're going to talk your way out of this program within the semester if you don't get your act together. And I know—"
He stops abruptly, jaw clenching.
"What?" you challenge. "You know what?"
"I know I'm done trying to help someone who doesn't want to be helped."
The words settle between you like stones.
"I never asked for your help."
"No," he agrees, voice flat. "You didn't, which is why, effective immediately you're being placed on academic probation. You'll meet with me every Monday at 9 AM to review your attendance and conduct for the previous week. You'll submit weekly progress reports, and if I receive one more complaint about your behavior you're out."
Your mouth goes dry. "You can't—"
"I can, and I am." He steps back, putting professional distance between you again. When he speaks, his voice is completely detached. "You have potential, but potential means nothing if you can't work with other people. Consider this your last chance."
You want to argue, tell him exactly where he can shove his probation and weekly meetings and his condescending concern. But the look on his face stops you. He doesn't look angry anymore, he's disappointed. And somehow, that's so much worse.
"Fine," you bite out.
"Fine," he echoes.
"Is that all?"
"Yes, see you Monday 9 AM. Don't be late."
You turn on your heel and walk out, managing to keep your composure until you're halfway across campus. Then you find an empty classroom and let yourself feel the full weight of what just happened.
Academic probation. Weekly meetings with Dean Barnes. One complaint away from expulsion.
You should be terrified.
Instead, all you can think about is the way his eyes had blazed when he called you a spoiled brat, the way he'd gotten close enough that you could smell his cologne, the way your heart had raced you when he'd challenged you.
You're in so much trouble, and not just the academic kind.
The Monday meetings become a special kind of torture.
On week one, you show up on time with printed documentation of your perfect attendance and professionally worded emails to faculty. Dean Barnes reviews them with barely a nod, asks if you have anything else to report and dismisses you in under ten minutes.
Week two, you're three minutes late because the printer jammed. He doesn't say anything, just marks something in his notes while you apologize. You hate how the silence feels like criticism.
Week three, you're early. You bring coffee— one for you, one for him, because maybe if you try being nice, this will be less awful. He looks at the cup you set on his desk like it might be poisoned, but he drinks it anyway.
By week five, you've developed a routine. Monday mornings, 9 AM, sitting across from Dean Barnes while he reviews your week. You've been perfect. Perfectly punctual, perfectly polite, perfectly compliant.
You hate every second of it.
"Your attendance has been flawless," he notes, scrolling through something on his laptop. It's mid-October now, and he's traded the henleys for sweaters that somehow make him look more approachable and more intimidating at the same time. "Dr. Morrison says you've been attending all your advisory meetings."
"As required."
He glances up at that, catching the edge in your tone.
"Is there a problem?"
Yes, you want to say. The problem is that you've spent five weeks performing like a trained seal, and he hasn't once acknowledged that maybe, just maybe, his assessment of you was harsh. The problem is that you lie awake at night replaying your arguments, thinking of better comebacks, sharper retorts. The problem is that you've started noticing things about him—the way he drums his fingers on the desk when he's thinking, the small scar through his eyebrow, how his entire demeanor softens when he talks to the administrative staff.
The problem is that you can't stop wondering what it would take to crack that professional facade.
"No problem," you say instead.
He studies you for a long moment, and you have the unsettling feeling that he sees right through you.
"You seem…" He pauses, choosing his words carefully. "Subdued."
"I'm being professional, isn't that what you wanted?"
"I wanted you to engage constructively, not to shut down completely."
You laugh—a short, bitter sound. "I literally cannot win with you, can I? I'm disruptive, I'm a problem. I'm quiet, I'm shutting down. What exactly do you want from me, dean Barnes?"
His expression shifts, something unreadable flickering across his features.
"I want—" he stops, jaw tightening. "I want you to find a balance between being yourself and being respectful, that's all I've ever wanted."
"Right, because you know so much about who I am from our what, six conversations? All of which have been you telling me everything I'm doing wrong."
"That's not fair."
"Isn't it?" You're leaning forward now, exhaustion and frustration bubbling over. "You decided who I was in our first meeting. Spoiled, bratty, someone who needs to be put in her place. You never once considered that maybe there are reasons I am the way I am."
"Then tell me." He matches your posture, leaning in. "Explain it to me."
"Why should I? So you can use it against me? Add it to your little file of everything that's wrong with me?"
"That's not—" He cuts himself off, breathing hard through his nose. "I've never wanted to use anything against you. From day one, I've been trying to help you succeed."
"By threatening to kick me out?"
"By giving you clear expectations and boundaries! Which, apparently, no one else in your academic career has bothered to do!"
"Don't pretend you know anything about my academic career!"
"I know you've been coasting on raw talent without even learning how to work with people! I know you alienate everyone around you because it's easier than being vulnerable! I know—"
He stops abruptly, like he's said too much. The silence is suffocating.
"You know what?" Your voice shakes, and you hate it. Hate that he's gotten under your skin like this. "I've done everything you asked. I've been to every seminar, every meeting. I've smiled and nodded and played the part of the good little student and it's still not enough for you."
"That's not true."
"Then what do you want from me?" The question comes out raw, almost desperate. "Just tell me what you want, and I'll do it, so we can both stop pretending these meetings are anything other than you reminding me how much of a disappointment I am!"
You're standing now—when did you stand?—and so is he, and the desk between you feels like both a barrier and the only thing keeping this situation from spiraling completely out of control.
"You're not a disappointment," he says, and his voice has gone quiet in a way that's more affecting than any of his anger. "You're brilliant and passionate and you care so deeply about your work that it scares you, so you hide behind sarcasm and antagonism, because if you don't care, you can't fail. But you do care. I see it every time you argue about methodology or challenge outdated thinking. You care so much it's destroying you."
The accuracy of it steals your breath.
"You don't know me," you whisper, but it sounds weak even to your own ears.
"Don't I?" He's moved around the desk—when did he do that?—and suddenly he's close, closer than he's been since that first argument. "You think I haven't noticed? The way you're first to arrive at seminars now but you sit in the back and never speak up? The way you flinch every time I ask if you have anything to report? It's like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop. You're miserable, and I—"
He stops, something warring in his expression.
"You what?" The challenge is automatic, but your voice is barely above a whisper.
"I hate that I did that to you." You weren't expecting that. "I thought I was helping," he continues, and he sounds tired. "I thought structure and discipline were what you needed, but I've been taking out my own frustrations on you. Every time you pushed back, it reminded me of myself before the army beat it out of me… all that fire and certainty and refusal to back down.."
His eyes meet yours, and there's something in them you haven't seen before. The confession hangs between you.
"I'm sorry," he continues. "I'm sorry for calling you a brat and making you feel like you had to change who you are. For not seeing until now that I've been the problem just as much as—"
"Stop." Your hand comes up, almost touching his chest before you catch yourself. "Don't apologize. I've been… god, I've been awful. To you, to the faculty. You were right about me coasting on talent. You were right about a lot of things.""
You don't know who moves first.
Maybe it's simultaneous, gravity and inevitability pulling you together. But suddenly there's no space between you at all, and you can see the flecks of gray in his blue eyes.
"This is a bad idea," he says, but he doesn't move away.
"Terrible idea," you agree, and then his mouth is on yours.
It's not gentle. There's too much pent-up frustration, too many weeks of tension for it to be anything but desperate and consuming. His hand tangles in your hair, tilting your head back, and you grab fistfuls of his sweater. When he breaks away, you're both breathing hard.
"We can't—" he starts, but you cut him off.
"Your door is locked."
"That is not the point."
"Then what's the point?" You're using his words from earlier, and from the way his eyes darken, he knows it.
"You're my student."
"I'm a graduate student. An adult." Your hands slide up his chest. "And you're not my professor or my advisor. You're an administrator who's been making my life hell for six weeks."
"Making your life hell," he repeats, and there's something dangerous in his voice now. "Is that what I've been doing?"
"Yes..."
His hand comes up to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing across your lower lip. "You've been making mine hell too. Do you have any idea how hard it's been, sitting across from you every Monday, watching you perform this perfect student act when all I can think about is—"
He stops himself, but you see the want in his eyes, the same want that's been eating you alive.
"Say it," you challenge.
Instead of answering, he kisses you again, harder this time, backing you up until your legs hit his desk. His hands span your waist, lifting you onto it with an ease that makes something hot coil in your stomach.
"You've been driving me crazy," he says against your mouth. "Every argument, every time you pushed back, every time you looked at me like you wanted to either kill me or—"
"Or what?"
His hands slide up your thighs, pushing your skirt higher. "Or this."
You should stop this, you should think about the consequences, the professional boundaries, the fact that you're literally on academic probation. But when his fingers trace a way through your inner thigh, all rational thought evaporates.
"James," you breathe, using his first name for the first time.
"Bucky," he corrects, and the intimacy of it makes your heart stutter. "Call me Bucky."
"Bucky," you try out, and he makes a sound low in his throat that goes straight through you.
His fingers move higher, teasing, and when he brushes against your underwear, his eyes go wide. "Fuck, you're soaked."
The embarrassment is immediate and scorching, but before you can form a defense, he's kissing your neck, teeth grazing your pulse point.
"All those arguments," he murmurs against your skin. "All that fighting… and this whole time?" His fingers press more firmly, and you gasp. "Oh, sweetheart, who would've thought being such a brat make you this wet?"
"I'm not—" you start, but he slides your underwear to the side and touches properly, and whatever you were going to say dissolves into a moan.
"Not what? Not a brat?" His thumb finds your clit and he circles it. "That's all you've been, baby. Running that smart mouth, pushing every button, getting yourself all worked up." He slides one finger inside you, and your head falls back. "Getting me all worked up, is this what you wanted? Every time you argued with me?"
"No," you lie, but your body betrays you, your hips roll against his hand.
"No?" He adds another finger, and the stretch makes you whimper. "Because you're gripping my fingers like you've been thinking about this. Like maybe every Monday morning, you sat in that chair and wondered what it would take to make me snap."
"You're so arrogant," you manage, but it comes out breathy and weak.
He laughs, dark and low. "Says the woman who's about to come all over my desk during her probation meeting."
The worlds should be humiliating, instead, they make everything tighter, hotter. His fingers curl inside you, finding that spot that makes your vision blur.
"That's it," he encourages, his other hand coming up to wrap loosely around your throat. "Let go, stop performing for once and just feel."
You come while his fingers are still working inside you, he kisses you through it, swallowing your moans. When you finally come down, you find him looking at you with something that might be awe.
"Beautiful," he murmurs, withdrawing his fingers slowly.
You watch dazed, as he brings his fingers to his mouth, tasting you. The sight makes you clench around nothing.
"We're not done," you tell him, reaching for his belt.
His hand catches your wrist. "Are you sure?"
"Dean, if you don't fuck me on this desk right now, I swear to god—"
He kisses you hard. "There she is, there's my stubborn girl."
He makes quick work of his belt, and when he frees himself, you can't help but stare. He's big—bigger than you expected— and the intimidation must show on your face because his expressions softens slightly.
"We don't have to—"
"I want to," you cut him off. "I want you."
Something in his expression changes, and then he's pulling you to the edge of the desk, lining himself up. "Last chance to be sensible," he offers, but he's already pushing forward, just the tip.
"When have I ever been sensible?"
He laughs, breathless and pushes in slowly. The stretch is intense, almost too much, and you grab his shoulders for leverage.
"Breathe," he instructs, stilling. "Just breathe, baby."
You do, and he slides in further, inch by inch, until he's fully seated inside you. For a moment, neither of you moves, just adjusting to the overwhelming intimacy of it.
"Okay?" He asks, and the gentleness in his voice nearly undoes you.
"More than okay," you roll your hips experimentally, and his grip on your waist tightens.
He groans, and then he's moving, pulling almost all the way out before sliding back in, settling a rhythm that's deep and deliberate. Each thrust hits something inside you and you can't keep quiet.
"That's it," he murmurs, one hand sliding up to cover your mouth. "As much as I love hearing you, we need to be quiet, can you do that for me?"
You nod against his palm, and he rewards you by picking up the pace. The desk rattles with each thrust, papers scattering to the floor, but neither of you care.
"All semester," he says. "I've been trying to figure out how to handle you… turns out what you needed was this needed someone to put you in place."
You bite is palm in retaliation, and he actually laughs.
"Still got that mouth on you, even now" He pulls out suddenly, and you whimper at the loss. "Turn around"
You obey without thinking, and he bends you over is desk, one hand between your shoulder blades, the other hiking your skirt up around your waist.
"Much better," he says, running his hand over the curve of your ass. " Now I don't have to watch you try to be defiant while I'm fucking you senseless."
He pushes back in with one smooth thrust, and the new angle makes you cry out into your folded arms. It's overwhelming—the fullness, the angle, the sound of skin against skin, his words washing over you. You're helpless to do anything but hold on as he drives into you again and again.
"Touch yourself," he orders. "Make yourself come on my cock."
One of your hand slides between your legs, finding your clit and the additional stimulation makes everything tighten impossibly.
"That's my good girl," he praises, and his words combined with his relentless pace push you over the edge. You come hard, muffling your cries in your arms, and he follows moments later with a choked groan, spilling inside you.
For a moment, there's only the sound of harsh breathing. Then slowly, he pulls out and helps you stand, stepping back like you've burned him.
"Fuck," he says, running his hands through his disheveled hair. "Fuck."
You slide off the desk on shaky legs, pulling your skirt down. Your heart is still racing, but the way he's avoiding to look at you, makes dread pool in your stomach.
"Bucky—"
"This can't happen," he says, finally meeting your eyes. And god, the regret in his gaze nearly breaks you. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but this— we can't."
"I know it's complicated, but—"
"It's not complicated, it's wrong." He's already tucking his shirt back in, rebuilding is armor. "You're my student, I put you on academic probation, I have direct oversight of your academic career… this is exactly the kind of ethics violation that ends careers."
"Then we'll figure it out," you say, hating how desperate you sound. "We can't disclose it, or—"
"No." The word is final. "Your probation is over, effective immediately. You've met all the requirements, but that's— that's all this can be."
You feel like you've been slapped. "All this can be? Are you serious right now?"
He won't look at you. "I need you to leave."
"Bucky—"
"Dean Barnes," he corrects and the formality is cruel. "Please, just go."
You grab your bag with shaking hands, blinking back the tears burning your eyes. "Right, okay. Got it."
"Wait," his voice stops you at the door. When you turn, there's something in his expression you can't quite name, but he just says, "This stays between us, no one can know."
"Don't worry," you say, voice brittle. "I'm very good at keeping secrets for men who regret me."
You don't wait for his response.
Six weeks later
The remaining weeks of the semester are torture.
You see Bucky exactly three times: once across the quad (he changed direction), once at a departmental meeting (he didn't make eye contact), and once in the administrative building when you had to drop off paperwork (he disappeared into his office before you reached the desk).
The message is clear, whatever happened in his office was a mistake he wants to forget, and you're a problem he's solved by simply avoiding.
Fine. You can take a hint.
You throw yourself into finals, spending sixteen-hour days in the library. Your research proposal gets accepted for publication, Dr. Morrison nominates you for a prestigious summer fellowship. You're thriving academically.
But you're also miserable.
You finish your last exam on a Tuesday afternoon, exhausted and emotionally drained.
One more paper to submit tomorrow and you'll be done and free for the summer. Free to leave the campus and not think about Bucky Barnes and his blue eyes and the way he'd made you feel before calling it all a mistake.
Dr. Morrison finds you packing up your carrel in the library.
"Heading out for the summer?"
"Yeah, got that fellowship in Boston. I'll be leaving next week."
"Boston's far."
Something in his tone makes you look up. "Is that a problem?"
"No, no. I'm happy for you, just… you're gonna be missed, that's all."
You're too tired to reply or try to deepen in his words, so you just nod and go back to packing.
You submit your final paper at 3 PM. It's done. The semester from hell is officially over.
You're heading to your car, already mentally planning your escape from this campus and all its memories, when you see him.
Dean Barnes, leaning against your car in the parking lot, and he's holding flowers. Peonies, specifically, though you can't remember ever telling him that. He straightens when he sees you, and even from a distance, you can see how nervous he is.
"What are you doing here?" You ask, stopping a few feet away.
"Waiting for you," he holds out the flowers. "These are for you."
You don't take them. "Mr. Barnes, what—"
"The semester's over," he says quickly. "Grades were submitted this morning, you're no longer under my administrative oversight—I transferred that six weeks ago to Dean Bell, which means I can finally tell you what I should have said that day in my office."
Your heart is pounding hard against your chest. "Which is?"
"That calling it a mistake was the real mistake, that I've spent six weeks working behind the scenes to remove every professional barrier between us because I couldn't stop thinking about you. That I'm sorry I hurt you, sorry I made you think I regretted you, when the truth is—" He takes a breath. "The truth is I've been falling for you since the day you walked into my office late and challenged everything I thought I knew about myself."
You can't breathe. "Six weeks? You've been planning this for six weeks?"
"I couldn't approach you before, it wouldn't have been ethical. But I've been getting my ducks in a row—transferring oversight, drafting new policies, making sure that when I did this, I could do it right." He steps closer, still holding the peonies. "I know I have no right to ask,but I'm asking anyway. Can we start over? For real this time?"
"I don't know… you kind of broke my heart," you whisper.
"I know, and if you tell me to leave right now, I'll accept that I fucked this up beyond repair." His voice drops. "But if there's any chance you feel even a fraction of what I feel for you, I'm asking for one more shot. To do this properly, take you on actual dates and tell everyone who'll listen that you're the most brilliant woman I've ever met and stop hiding how I feel about you."
You look at him. The dark circles under his eyes suggest he's slept as poorly as you have. The flowers in his hands are perfect, your favorite, a detail you don't even remember telling him. And the vulnerability in his eyes is so raw it makes your chest ache.
"You got me peonies," you say finally.
"I asked Dr. Morrison," he admits and manages a small smile. "He said you mentioned once they reminded you of your grandmother."
"You were doing research about my favorite flower?"
"I was doing research on everything about you." He takes another step closer. "And taking notes, paying attention to your coffee order, the way you tap your pen when you're thinking, which professor makes you roll your eyes, how you light up about your research. I've been memorizing you for months and trying to pretend it wasn't."
Tears prick your eyes. "I thought you regretted me."
"Never, not a single second." He finally closes the distance, his free hand coming up to cup your face. "I regretted how it happened, I regretted that I couldn't do it right the first time, but you? Never you."
"This is insane," you say, but you're leaning into his touch.
"Completely." His thumb brushes across your cheekbone. "Is that a no?"
You take the flowers from his hand, bringing them to your nose. "Take me to dinner, somewhere nice."
The smile that breaks across his face is like sunrise. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. But Bucky? If you ever shut me out like that again—"
"I won't, I swear to god I won't." He pulls you closer. "From now on, complete honesty."
"Good," you fist your hand in his shirt. "Now kiss me, we've wasted six weeks already."
He does, and it's different from your first kiss. This time is soft and sweet. When you break apart, you're both smiling. "So, there's this Italian place downtown. How does 7PM sound?"
"Like you've been planning this."
"For six weeks," he admits. "I have the whole evening mapped out. Dinner, then a walk by the river, then maybe coffee if you're not sick of me yet."
"You made an itinerary for our first date?"
"I'm a planner, you know this about me."
You laugh, and it feels like breathing for the first time in weeks. "You're ridiculous."
"And you're brilliant and infuriating and I'm gone for you." He kisses you again. "So, 7PM?"
"Pick me up at 6:45, and Bucky?" You smile against his mouth. "Wear the henley, the blue one."
"The one you kept staring at during meetings?"
"I was not staring—"
"You absolutely were,but don't worry." His grin turns wicked. "I was staring too, those skirts you wear should be illegal."
"Dean Barnes," you mock-gasp. "How inappropriate."
"I'm not your dean anymore," he reminds you. "Which means I can finally tell you that you've been driving me crazy since day one."
"Good," you say and kiss him again.
The date was perfect, because of course it was—Bucky had spent six weeks planning it.
The Italian restaurant was intimate and elegant, the kind of place with cloth napkins and wine lists that didn't make you feel judged. Over pasta and wine, he laid out everything he'd done in those six weeks: the ethics board meetings, transferring your academic oversight to Dean Bell, consulting lawyers, drafting new university policies.
The food was incredible, but you barely tasted it. You were too focused on him—how he listened, how he remembered details from months ago, how this felt like your old arguments but without the anger. All that intensity, channeled into something that made your skin warm.
After dinner, he took you on the promised walk along the river. The sunset painted everything golden, his hand warm in yours, and for a few minutes neither of you spoke.
"Boston," he said finally.
Your stomach dropped. "You heard about that?"
"Dr. Morrison mentioned it, the MIT fellowship." He stopped walking, turning to face you. "You're going to go, you're going to take that fellowship and be brilliant, and I'm going to be incredibly proud of you."
"But?"
"But nothing, that's it." He squeezed your hand. "I'm not going to ask you to stay, you've worked too hard for this opportunity."
"It's three months," you said quietly. "I leave next week."
"I know."
"And you're okay with that? We just got our shit together and now I'm leaving for the entire summer?"
"Am I okay with it? No." His laugh was hollow. "I hate it, actually. But that's my problem to deal with, not yours."
You searched his face for resentment, pressure, anything that would make this complicated, but you only found sincerity.
"You're serious."
"Completely." He cupped your face. "I waited six weeks to do this right, I can wait three months to keep doing it right. Boston's only four hours away, I can visit you on weekends, you can come back when you have breaks… we'll figure it out."
"You'd drive four hours to see me?"
"Sweetheart, I'd drive a lot further than that." He kissed you softly. "Besides, by August I'll have planned approximately twelve more perfect dates."
"You're ridiculous."
"And you're brilliant and leaving for an incredible opportunity, and I'm not going to be the guy who makes you feel guilty about it." His voice turned fierce. "I fucked up once by pushing you away, I'm not going to fuck up again by holding you back."
You kissed him then, there on the river walk with the sunset painting everything golden. This one was different than the others, it felt like a promise.
"Three months," you whispered against his lips.
"Three months, and then you come back to me."
"What if MIT tries to recruit me for their PhD program?"
"Then I guess I'm moving to Boston."
"You'd leave your job?"
"For you? In a heartbeat."
You walked for another hour, drinking a coffee he bought from the a street place, talking about everything and nothing. He told you about his time in the military, the injury that led to his discharge, the way the academia had saved him. You told him about your family, the pressure to be perfect, the fear that you were all potential and no follow-through.
"You know what I thought when you walked into my office that first day?" he asked as you circled back toward the parking lot.
"That I was a nightmare?"
"That you were magnificent," his smile was soft. "Completely infuriating and magnificent, twenty minutes late, coffee in hand, looking at me like I was the inconvenience. I knew right then you were going to be trouble."
"Good trouble?"
"The best kind." He opened your car door again. "Can I take you home? Or is it too presumptuous to assume the date should end?"
Your heart kicked. "Take me home… but Bucky?"
"Yeah?"
"You're coming upstairs."
The drive back to your apartment was charged with a different kind of tension. His hand found your thigh, resting there casually, and you couldn't stop thinking about his office, his desk, the way he'd called you his good girl.
"You're thinking very loudly," he observed.
"I'm thinking about your desk. Specifically, how you bent me over it."
He cursed under his breath. "You're going to kill me."
"Promises, promises."
He pulled into a spot near your building with slightly more speed than necessary. When you reached for your door handle, his hand shot out to stop you.
"Wait."
"For what?"
"I need a second." He was gripping the steering wheel with his other hand, knuckles white. "You can't just say things like that and expect me to function normally."
"Who said anything about normal?" You leaned across the console, lips brushing his ear. "I've been very well-behaved all night, Dean Barnes. Don't you think I deserve a reward?"
The sound he made was almost a growl. "You're doing this on purpose."
"Doing what?"
"Being a brat."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." You bit his earlobe gently. "I'm being perfectly sweet."
You didn't make it past the entryway.
As soon as the door closed behind you, Bucky had you pressed against it, his mouth on yours with six weeks of pent-up hunger. Your hands went to his hair, his found your waist, and for a moment, there was just kissing and breathing and the relief of finally being able to touch him.
"Where's your bedroom?" he managed between kisses.
"End of the hall."
He lifted you easily and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you down the hallway. You were kissing his neck, probably leaving marks, definitely not caring.
Your bedroom was a mess of final papers and half-packed boxes for Boston, but Bucky didn't seem to notice. He set you down by the bed, hands going to the zipper of your dress.
"Can I?" he asked, and the courtesy of it made your heart clench.
"Yes, please, yes."
He unzipped you slowly, pushing the dress off your shoulders and letting it pool at your feet. His eyes went dark as he took you in—matching navy lingerie that you'd definitely chosen with this possibility in mind.
"You wore this for me," he said, not a question.
"Maybe I just like matching sets."
"Liar," his hands skimmed up your sides. "You wore this hoping I'd get to see it."
"Presumptuous—"
He kissed you hard, cutting off the word. "Stop being difficult."
"Make me."
Something shifted in his expression. "Careful what you wish for, sweetheart."
"I'm not scared of you."
"No," he agreed, backing you toward the bed. "You never have been, that's the problem."
"Problem?"
"Yes," he confirmed, and suddenly you were on your back and he was over you, fully clothed while you were nearly naked. "You walk around with that smart mouth, challenging everything, pushing every button—"
"You love it."
"I do," he admitted, lips brushing your collarbone. "Drives me absolutely insane, but I love it."
His mouth traveled lower, between your breasts, across your stomach. When he reached the waistband of your underwear, he paused.
"These are pretty," he observed. "Would be a shame to ruin them."
"Then don't—"
The sound of fabric tearing cut you off. You gasped as he literally ripped your underwear off and tossed the ruined lace aside.
"Bucky!"
"I'll buy you new ones." He was already moving lower, spreading your thighs, then his mouth was on you and coherent thought became impossible.
He took his time, building you up with long, slow strokes of his tongue, pulling back whenever you got close. It was methodical, deliberate, designed to drive you crazy.
"Stop teasing," you demanded, rolling your hips against his face.
He pulled back, and the sight of him between your thighs, lips wet, eyes dark with want, almost finished you off right there.
"What was that?" he asked, voice dangerous and smooth. "Did you just give me an order?"
"I—no, I just—"
"Because it sounded like you were being bratty again." His thumb pressed against your clit, circling too lightly. "And we both know what happens to brats."
"Bucky, please—"
"Please what?" He slid one finger inside you, and you clenched around it. "Use your words, you're usually so good with that mouth."
"Please make me come," you gasped out.
"Better," he added a second finger. "But I don't know if you've earned it yet. You've been so difficult all night. Testing me, pushing boundaries…"
"I'm sorry," you tried, but it came out too breathless to be sincere.
"No, you're not." He curled his fingers, finding that spot that made you see stars. "You love making me work for it, love seeing how far you can push before I snap."
It was true, god help you, it was true.
"So here's what's going to happen," he continued. "You're going to come on my fingers like a good girl, and you're going to get on your knees and show me how sorry you are for being such a brat. Think you can do that?"
You nodded frantically.
"Words."
"Yes, yes I can—"
"Good girl."
He worked you with his fingers, fast and relentless, while his other hand held your hip down to stop you from bucking up. The praise combined with the rough handling pushed you over the edge embarrassingly fast, and you came with his name on your lips.
Before you'd fully recovered, he was pulling his fingers out and standing up, working his belt buckle.
"On your knees," he instructed. "Now."
You scrambled to obey, still shaky from your orgasm, and knelt in front of him. He freed himself from his jeans, and your mouth watered at the sight.
"Open," he commanded, and you did.
He pushed into your mouth slowly, giving you time to adjust, but his hand tangled in your hair with clear intent. This wasn't going to be gentle.
"That's it," he praised as you took him deeper. "Such a good girl when you want to be, why can't you be this obedient all the time?"
You hummed around him in response, and his grip in your hair tightened.
"Don't get mouthy now," he warned, but there was amusement in his voice. "Just take it."
He set a rhythm, not quite rough but definitely demanding, and you focused on breathing through your nose and relaxing your throat. When you looked up at him through your lashes—a move that was absolutely calculated— he groaned.
"Fuck, look at you. So pretty with your mouth full." His thumb traced your stretched lips. "Been thinking about this since that day in my office, wanted to bend you over my desk and then have you on your knees, show you what happens to bratty girls who talk back."
The degradation should have been humiliating, instead, it made you moan around him and his hips stuttered.
"You like that, don't you? Like being called out for being difficult." He pulled out suddenly, leaving you gasping. "On the bed, hands and knees."
You moved quickly, assuming the position, hyper aware of how exposed you were. You heard him stripping off his clothes, the rustle of a condom wrapper—when had he gotten that?—and then he was behind you, hands running over your ass appreciatively.
"Look at you, so eager now." One finger traced through your wetness. "After all that attitude, all that pushing back, this is what you wanted all along, isn't it? Someone to put you in your place."
"Yes, sir," you said, past the point of pride.
"Sir?" he repeated, his voice rough with arousal. "That's new."
"Sorry, I didn't mean—"
"Don't apologize," he lined himself up, the head of his cock pressing against your entrance.
He pushed in slowly, inch by torturous inch, until he was fully seated. You dropped your head to the pillow, overwhelmed by the fullness.
"You okay?" he asked, the care cutting through the scene.
"So okay."
"Good girl," he pulled almost all the way out and slammed back in, making you cry out. "Because I'm not going to be gentle. You've been asking for this all night, and I'm going to give you exactly what you've been begging for.
He set a punishing pace, each thrust deep and hard, the sound of skin against skin obscene in the quiet apartment. One hand stayed on your hips, controlling the rhythm, while the other reached around to find your clit.
"You're going to come again," he told you, circling that bundle of nerves with practiced precision. "Going to come all over my cock while I fuck this attitude out of you."
"Can't," you gasped, even as you felt yourself building toward another orgasm.
"Yes, you can." His voice was firm. "Come for me. Now."
His relentless pace combined with his fingers on your clit pushed you over, and you came with a muffled scream into the pillow. He followed moments later, hips stuttering as he spilled into the condom.
You stayed like that for a long moment. Then slowly, carefully, he pulled out and disposed of the condom before collapsing beside you on the bed. You lay there in comfortable silence, his fingers tracing patterns on your shoulder, your leg thrown over his. This was new too—the aftercare, the intimacy beyond the physical. With Bucky, everything came with attention and care.
"I'm going to miss you," he said quietly. "These three months."
"I'm going to miss you too." You propped yourself up on your elbow to look at him. "But we'll figure it out. Weekends, video calls, way too many texts…"
"I'm going to text you constantly. Fair warning."
"Good, I expect detailed reports on campus gossip."
"I'll send you care packages. What do grad students need? Coffee? Stress balls?"
"Your worn t-shirts," you admitted, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. "If we're being honest."
His expression softened impossibly. "You want my shirts?"
"Shut up, it's not weird."
"It's not weird, it's adorable." He kissed you softly. "I'll pack you a whole suitcase of them, you can build a fort."
"Now you're making fun of me."
"Never," he pulled you back down against his chest. "I'm serious about this, you know. About us, I know it's fast and probably complicated, but—"
"It's not that complicated," you interrupted. "We like each other, we're both adults, we're going to make it work."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that." You kissed him. "Unless you're already having second thoughts?"
"Absolutely not." His arms tightened around you. "You're stuck with me now, even when you're being bratty."
⭐︎ warnings: smut, rough sex, reader talks him through it, bucky doesn't dirty talk, he snarls instead, size difference, dumbification (bucky talks like a caveman? idk), talks about consent, period typical misogyny, creampie, praise, breeding kink, spitting in mouth, mating press, overstimulation, bucky loves eye contact
⭐︎ word count: 6k
⭐︎ a/n: what started out as a 'hahahehe' food for thought turned into a smutty porn without plot fic. ty to @epiphanyrogers for giving me the motivation to write this by feeding me with her own gladiator steve !! reader literally teaches what consent is to bucky, but ultimately the sex is consensual. either way, please tread carefully.
synopsis:
Bucky becomes the reigning champion and naturally, he seeks a prize—a pretty maiden to bed. You fall victim to his rough hands—to a brute who doesn't even know the meaning of the word "no." Yet to your surprise, despite being a man who takes whatever he wants, he is willing to let you teach him what consent really means.
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The Colosseum is a home for bloodbaths.
There is a symphony of cheers and screams that rings throughout the entire dome. Swords clash against swords, sweat and blood dance together, dirt kicks into the air, and alcohol and spit shoot out of patrons’ mouths.
It is meaningless—all of it just a cruel form of entertainment for the emperor and his family.
You are thankful that you hadn’t been born a male to be pushed into these silly games, but instead, you are a woman—and that might be worse. But for now, despite all the screaming happening outdoors, you find solitude and a somewhat sense of peace near the barracks, sweeping debris and scrubbing the blood and grime off the floors from the defeated champions who walked away, already on the verge of death.
“Look at them,” you breathe. You pause your sweeping, wiping a strand of sweaty hair out of your face as your eyes peer through the wide holes of the wooden gates. “Animals. The whole lot of them.”
Livia does not need to look up to know what them you are referring to. There is only one kind of ruthless animal in the world—and that is men.
“Do not stare,” she warns you quietly. “If they catch you looking, they’ll punish you.”
“Please,” you scoff. “Their heads are too far up their own egos to notice us.”
“Big egos, yes.” Livia’s golden eyes glance over her shoulder from where she kneels on the floor, scrubbing grime. “And bodies. They are also quite handsome.”
Your eyes snap to her in revulsion. “Handsome? How can you say such a thing!” You glance back at the two men battling in the center of the dome. “Look at them. They are monsters.”
In the center is a man that you recognize—Bucky Barnes, the reigning champion for years. The White Wolf, is what the Emperor likes to call him. He is fighting another man, not much bigger than him, and certainly a man you do not recognize, meaning a man who will soon be falling to his doom beneath Bucky’s swords.
You have to admit, however, the man was giving The White Wolf a run for his money.
Finally, the man kneels before Bucky in defeat. Bucky raises his sword and delivers the final blow that sends the man to his grave.
Cheers erupt inside the dome. People jump out of their seats to shout and stomp. More debris and dust fall from above, landing on your and Livia’s faces—making you both cough.
The gates of the dome rattle as the herald’s voice shouts over the roaring crowd.
“Victory belongs to the undefeated! Behold your champion—The White Wolf!”
Thousands of voices chant his name as the dome thumps in a cadence that shakes the stone foundations around you. Through the wooden slats of the gate, you watch Bucky raise his blood-slicked sword to the sky. Unlike the other victors, he doesn’t smile. He never smiles.
Livia wipes the dust off her brow. “Another one to his name. He truly is unstoppable.”
You pull your gaze away. “He is a butcher,” you mutter.
Livia pushes herself off the floor with a light groan. She lifts the empty wooden basin to her chest. “I am going to refill this,” she says. “We’re going to need a lot of water to wash the victor up. I will be back.”
The wooden gate in front of you begins to groan as it slowly lifts. You grip your broom tight, moving to the side to make space for the blood-soaked victor to return back inside.
When Bucky steps in, the cool shade of the barracks is pure bliss against his hot body. Behind him steps the herald, adjusting his fine robes and wiping a pristine handkerchief over his sweaty brow, while the champion in front of him bleeds everywhere.
Bucky drops onto a wooden bench, and it creaks beneath his large body. His chest heaves as he catches his breath. With eyes still fueled by the adrenaline of battle, he watches as you approach him with a damp cloth and drop to your knees, wiping the splattered blood from his shins and boots.
“A magnificent display, White Wolf,” the herald boasts, pacing the floor and waving a hand dismissively in your direction as if you were just another piece of furniture. “The Emperor was thoroughly pleased. The coin will be transferred to your keeper, of course, but the Emperor insists on a personal reward for his favorite fighter tonight. A token of appreciation. Wine? A feast? Or perhaps a woman from the upper courts?”
Bucky does not answer the herald.
You try to keep your eyes down, working on scrubbing the crimson off his leather armor, but you can feel his cold stare watching your every movement, tracing the line of your shoulders and the curve of your vulnerable and exposed neck.
“We have the finest women prepared,” the herald continues, oblivious. “You have earned the right to take whatever, or whomever, you please.”
A massive and calloused hand suddenly shoots out. His fingers lock around your fragile wrist, making you wince and drop the rag.
“This one.”
You meet the champion’s eyes, and the spirit behind them terrifies you.
Bucky looks at you, not the way he stares at his opponents, but with something far more lethal. He looks at you as if you are roasted meat served on a silver platter by the Emperor himself. It sends shivers down your spine, and you avert your gaze.
The herald stands confused beside him.
“Her?” the herald sputters, looking down at you in disbelief. “White Wolf, she is a mere servant. A floor scrubber. The Emperor offered you a lady of the court. Someone fit for a powerful champion, such as yourself!”
The way the herald utters the word lady sounds like an insult to you—as if insinuating you’re not woman enough for a man like Barnes.
Bucky’s grip on your wrist tightens again as he gives your arm a rough shake, forcing your attention back to him with a gasp.
“Want her,” Bucky grunts, his tone leaving no room for argument.
The herald blinks, his eyes flickering down to you where you kneel before the champion. He clears his throat uncomfortably. “You must be mistaken, champion. She is nothing but a dirty servant—”
Bucky’s leather gloves creak as he tightens his hand on the hilt of his sword, and the herald falls silent, taking that slight movement from the gladiator as a threat to shut up.
“Fine, fine,” the herald mutters with a defeated sigh. “If that is what pleases you, then she is at your disposal.”
Your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. You hadn’t expected the herald to give you up so easily. You had hoped he would insist Bucky find a better woman—someone of higher value, and nowhere near your station.
“Wait, sir—you can’t possibly—!”
“I will let the Emperor know of your decision.” The herald turns on his heel, continuing to talk as if you aren’t even present. “He will be very amused. Though… it does make my job easier, finding another prize… I shall consider this a win for the both of us!”
The herald scratches his beard and shrugs as he continues to walk away. You feel like your life is already flashing before your eyes. There are horror stories of men like Bucky—men who just take and take without remorse. You are no exception. You don’t even want to imagine the kind of things he would do to a woman like you once the herald leaves you two alone. Ignoring Bucky entirely, you try to pry your weak arm away from the fighter’s grip and get to your feet.
“Sir, wait! Don’t leave me here with him!”
But Bucky’s grip remains tight. He hauls you against his broad, bare chest as he stands up. You collide into him with a yelp as he pins you still.
“Mine now,” he rumbles deeply.
You try to pull back, your heels digging into the grime stained floor, but it’s like trying to move a stone pillar. “Let me go! I have to finish cleaning, I have to—”
Without a word, he crouches before you and wraps both strong arms over your legs, hauling you like nothing and propping you over his shoulder like a prize he rightfully deserves.
“Come,” Bucky barks without a single opportunity for defiance. “Take you home.”
Your voice is dry from all the shouting and begging for him to release you. Your fists are weak from pounding his back in an attempt to make him let you go. Now, as you sit at the edge of his worn bed in his small home—which feels like it’s being held up by nothing but sticks and tapestry—you realize all of it was futile.
Tears streak your dirty cheeks as you wipe at them pathetically. You couldn’t even say goodbye to your dear friend, Livia. She must be worrying herself sick about you.
Bucky stands large and imposing in the center of the already tiny home. He wastes no time as he strips himself of his clothes, eyes locked onto your trembling frame. This man in front of you has no sense of shame as he leaves himself completely bare, his cock already hard and springing to his muscular lower belly.
You glance up, your breath catching in your throat at his size.
He is huge, his tip already gorging into an angry red while pre-cum dribbles out from the slit. Your eyes follow the veins that decorate his shaft up until you reach the base of his cock, where dark curls sit unruly and trail thinner up to his belly button.
“Good,” he grunts in approval. “Look at me. Only me.”
Bucky’s strong legs stalk forward to meet you at the edge of the bed. All you can do is stare at him with wide eyes. The campfire flickering behind him casts a warm light, highlighting his muscles and the sharpness of his features.
As he gets closer, you scramble backward. His knees dip and creak the bed as he crawls after you. To him, this is a game of cat and mouse—and he doesn’t mind one bit. You’re terrified, but he sees this as foreplay. The two of you continue this until your back hits the stone wall, leaving you nowhere else to run.
“Please,” you whimper. “Don’t do this.”
Then, without warning, his hand shoots out to grab the neckline of your dress. With a simple tug, his mere strength tears right through it.
“No!” you shriek, your hands coming up to cover your breasts before he even catches a glimpse. “Stop!”
Bucky furrows his brows. Your cries and actions only confuse him. His hands grab your arms, trying to pry them away from your chest. He is so much stronger than you; he could easily break you if he wanted to.
“No! Stop! I’m not ready!” you cry again, shaking your head as you gather all your strength to fight back. “I said, I’m not ready—!”
With your hand acting on a mind of its own, it reaches out and delivers a hard slap across the gladiator’s face.
Bucky’s head whips to the side, his dark, matted hair covering the features of his face—you can’t make out his expression at all.
Your eyes go wide, and your hand weakly retreats back to your chest. If you hadn’t thought Bucky was going to kill you before, you are certain he is going to skip the sexual act and kill you right now instead.
But, being as stubborn as you are, you hold onto the shovel that digs your very grave.
“I told you to stop,” your voice is shaky, but you try to find your footing. “I said no. Countless times. I did not give you my consent. Don’t you know what that word means?”
This is foolish, you think to yourself. Talking to a gladiator like Bucky is like talking to a brick wall. Your words will just go in one ear and out the other.
Bucky slowly turns his head back to you, his gaze locking onto yours with eyes so sharp you could swallow the blade. This is it. You’re certain this is where you die.
He makes an expression—not a pained one, but confused. His jaw is tight where your hand just struck him. He doesn’t move to strike back like you think he will, and he doesn’t wrap his hands around your throat to kill you.
He tilts his head, his face scrunched now in a way that makes him look almost like a kicked puppy.
“No?” he repeats, treating it like a question.
The syllable sounds clunky, foreign, and deeply awkward rolling off his tongue.
He looks down at your hands, still clamped tightly over your torn dress, and then back up to your glassy eyes.
“Consent?” he tries the next word, his brows furrowing from how unusual it sounds.
You nod, holding your breath. “Yes. Consent. I did not give it to you.”
Bucky blinks as the cogs work—or try to—in his head.
The reigning champion of the Colosseum, the brute of a man who knows exactly how to sever someone’s limb or take a prize by force, looks completely lost. For his entire life, the rules were simple: fight, win, take. No one had ever told him ‘no.’ No one had ever given him a choice, and he had never given anyone else one either.
“Consent,” he tastes the word again, as if trying to see if he likes it or not. Then, he shakes his head. “I don’t know.”
Now, you are just as confused as he is.
You stare at the gladiator who kneels before you on the bed. He is probably the most feared man in the empire, yet he sits there naked and baffled by such a basic concept.
“You don’t know?” you whisper. “You don’t know what the word consent means?”
Bucky shakes his head, his broad shoulders slumping a fraction. He looks down at his own massive hands, then back at you, looking almost defeated and unsure of what to do from here.
You let out a trembling breath, slowly adjusting your grip on your torn dress to keep yourself covered as you try to find the words to explain it to a man raised only for slaughter.
“It means... permission,” you explain softly. “It means that my body belongs to me, just like yours belongs to you. To take a woman to bed, she has to want it too. She has to say yes.” You gesture weakly between the two of you. “If I say no, or if I say stop, you have to stop. Otherwise, you are just hurting me. You are just forcing me.”
Bucky listens intently, his dark eyes watching your lips as you speak.
“Don’t want to hurt you,” he answers, his voice rough and strained.
That catches you by surprise. You didn’t expect that kind of softness out of him. Then, he meets your eyes again and continues. “Not yet, at least.”
You pull the torn dress tighter against your chest with a slight frown, and Bucky notices. He shifts awkwardly on the back of his heels—his cock still hard but his mind just as confused.
“How do I get you to want it?” He rests his hand on your bare ankle, tugging you gently. “Like how I want you?”
You swallow hard as you stare at his large hand wrapped around your ankle. He could grab you and break you—mold you and bend you so easily to his will—but he doesn’t.
“You have to… court me,” you try to explain. “You have to make me feel safe, and you have to make me want it.”
Bucky tilts his head. Everything you have just said—even the word safe—feels alien to him.
Your teeth worry your bottom lip as you continue. “It means you don’t just take what you want. You touch softly. You talk to me, and you kiss me.” You point a trembling finger to your mouth, then to his. “With your lips. To show me that you care about how I feel, not just what you want.”
“Touch softly,” Bucky repeats, drilling the instruction into his mind.
You shudder as his hand, once wrapped around your ankle, turns into a gentle caress with his fingertips.
Up and down, his calloused fingertips trace your foot up to your bare calf. He leans over your body, forcing you to lie down beneath him as he hikes up the hem of your skirt. He flattens his palm so it rests heavy against your bare thigh.
“Kiss,” he murmurs, his blue eyes tracing the curve of your lip. “Make you safe.”
He lowers his head, his dark, unruly hair brushing against your cheeks as he brings his face inches from yours.
He hesitates for a second, his nostrils flaring like an animal as he breathes you in. Then, with an awkward, slow movement that he isn’t at all used to, Bucky presses his lips to yours.
The kiss is clumsy and far too hard at first, but as much as he wants to, he doesn’t force his way inside. He doesn’t push his tongue into your mouth, demanding dominance. He keeps his mouth pressed against yours, his lips slightly parted, mimicking the action as best as his instincts allow. It is gentle, surprisingly soft, and very wet—he might’ve even been drooling, aching to kiss you.
He pulls away just a fraction and searches your face for any sign of fear.
“Like this?” he murmurs, his breath hot against your mouth. “Safe?”
Your heart flutters wildly in your chest, except this time it has nothing to do with fear. You stare up at the man before you with wide eyes and wet lips. Bucky studies your face, trying to make out if what he did was right or wrong.
“Y—yes,” you breathe out. “That was good.”
Satisfied with your answer, he leans back down and kisses you again. One hand rises up—slowly, to avoid startling you—and cups your cheek gently. His thumb grazes over the curve of your cheek while his lips explore yours.
A soft, needy sound leaves your lips before you can stop it, and Bucky answers with a deep groan. While one hand cradles your cheek, his other hand slowly rises beneath your dress to grip your smooth hip.
You find yourself unexpectedly leaning into the kiss, matching him until his tongue pokes past your lips and swirls around yours. The two of you breathe heavily, moaning softly against each other as Bucky positions himself between your legs. His cock grows even harder, poking against your warm inner thigh.
He can’t take it anymore. Each moan that leaves your lips sounds like yes, yes, yes to his ears. His desperate hands find the waistband of your panties, threatening to tear them.
You suddenly pull away from the kiss with a gasp, catching your breath. Your hand presses against his bare chest, stopping him.
“No,” you pant as you stare up at him. “Stop. Not yet. You have to be patient.”
At the word stop, Bucky freezes. A snarl rips from the back of his throat, and his face twists in frustration. His jaw clenches so hard, his muscles twitch. You wince back into the pillows in fear, thinking you are in over your head and have pushed him too far.
You brace yourself, closing your eyes tightly.
“I’m trying,” he growls, the words tearing past his teeth. “What do I have to do? Tell me.”
You open your eyes and see him hovering over you. His large body acts as a blanket of warmth while one strong arm props him up, the muscles straining under his own weight and restraint.
“You have to touch me,” you explain gently, pulling his hand away from your underwear and bringing it up to your chest. “Like this.”
Bucky’s eyes follow your movement. Your smaller hand rests over his as you guide him to squeeze your breasts. His breathing grows heavier as his fingers tug and start to play with your budded nipple, relishing the way you moan and arch your back into his touch.
“Like that,” you moan softly. “Good—good boy.”
He groans loudly at your praise. His dark, unruly hair brushes your skin before his mouth closes over your budded nipple. He begins to lick and suck hungrily, his tongue swirling around the sensitive peak while his teeth graze the edge.
“Mm…” Your eyes flutter shut at the pleasure, your head tossing back against the pillow while he makes love to your tits.
Encouraged by your sounds, he grinds his thick hard cock firmly against the smooth skin of your bare thigh, seeking any kind of friction to relieve the ache between his legs.
One hand leaves your breast to grip your hip, digging his fingers into your skin to hold you still while he ruts against you like an animal. He whimpers against your chest, drunk on your scent and the high of your soft moans.
“Please,” he begs, his stubble tickling your bare chest. “Say yes. Let me have you. Now.”
The way he pleads sends a warm rush through your lower belly, a feeling that leaves you craving him just as badly. The man who is used to taking whatever he wants without remorse is reduced to being entirely at your mercy between your legs. A sensation settles inside you that you never thought you would harbor.
Control.
Just one word—one breathless little “yes”—would send Bucky over the edge. His pleasure and his craving are both held in your hands.
“Okay,” you say, giving him a small nod, satisfied with how well he has done. “You can have me.”
A growl rips from his chest. Driven by instinct, his large hands grip the waistband of your panties once more, his knuckles pulling taut as he prepares to shred the flimsy fabric to pieces.
“No,” you interject quickly, slapping his hands away. “Don’t rip them! That’s rude!”
He scowls as he draws his hand back, a whine of frustration catching in his throat like a disappointed hound. It’s clear he is unhappy about facing another rule when he is so close to the edge, yet he listens.
“Pull them down slowly,” you instruct.
Using every ounce of restraint in his veins, he resists the urge to tear the cloth. He hooks his thick fingers into the sides and slowly pulls the fabric down past your hips and thighs until you are completely bare beneath him.
“There you go,” you sigh softly, pleased with his gentle movements. “Good boy.”
Bucky’s eyes drop to the slick heat waiting for him. He hovers over your body, his heavy breathing filling the space between you as he positions the thick head of his cock right at your entrance. He rubs himself up and down against you, soaking his length in your arousal and sucking in a breath at the heat of your touch.
He is too big—impossibly so—and you aren’t sure if he will fit.
“Need to fuck you,” he grits through clenched teeth. “Hard.”
Holding himself at the base, he works at your entrance. His tip slowly slides in, stretching the opening and pushing deep enough to make you arch your back off the bed with a painful hiss.
He pauses at the sound.
“No,” you whimper, blinking tears away as you peer down at him. “If you’re going to have sex with me, you have to be gentle.”
His face twists into a strained expression, but he reluctantly abides.
One hand steadies your hip while the other holds his heavy cock, sliding into your warm, tight walls. Your body is so tight, not used to accommodating such a size, but he relents and continues pushing in.
You cry out, eyes squeezing shut as your arms rest on his shoulders for support.
“Look at me,” Bucky commands in a rough, deep voice. When you don’t listen, he tilts his head down so he is in your line of sight and tries again. “I said look at me.”
You finally do, and his eyes search yours intently. The ring of blue demands that you look at him, and him only.
“Keep them open,” he instructs. “Look at me. It will feel better.”
So, you do.
You both stare into each other’s eyes while he slides himself even deeper. As his cock stretches you wide, his brows furrow and his face twists into a snarl, baring his teeth at the tightness of your body until he finally sheathes himself fully inside with a groan.
“Gentle,” he rasps brokenly. “Gentle. Gotta be gentle.” He repeats the words as if he’s trying to remind himself.
Your legs shake around him, your body trying to get used to his size.
He hasn’t moved yet, but you already feel impossibly full. Your walls embrace him, and you feel your body slowly opening up to let him in. As his cock settles deep inside you, pleasure slowly overwhelms your senses.
For Bucky, it feels like pure torture. Your body is snug and warm—like a wet, tight fist wrapped around his cock, so much better than what he’s used to with his own calloused hands.
“Need to move,” he curses. “Need to fuck. Say yes.”
His voice comes out rough and crude, but he refuses to move without your consent.
“Hold on,” you whimper, still adjusting to his size. You shift your hips slightly, trying to get comfortable, but the movement only makes him groan in pleasure.
“Fine,” he grunts, squeezing your hip.
After what feels like forever, you finally nod your head.
“Okay,” you whisper. “I’m ready.”
And just like that, you open the pearly white gates to heaven for him.
With a hungry growl, he draws his hips back until only half of him remains, and then he slides himself back in. Your lips part in a gasp as he fills you again—his cock sinking even deeper, kissing your cervix.
“Tight,” Bucky clicks his tongue, growing frustrated. “Too tight.”
He pulls out halfway before slamming into you again, and again, and again. Each thrust grows harder and more unrelenting, forcing your body to yield to his cock.
“A—ah! It’s… s’too much—”
“Want me to stop?” he groans out painfully and reluctantly, like he doesn’t want you to answer with a ‘yes’.
“No,” you manage to breathe out. “Don’t stop.”
Moans and gasps spill from your lips every time he fills you. His girth splits you open with every savage thrust, his strong thighs forcing your legs wider for him.
His eyes never tear away from yours. Every time you try to squeeze your eyes shut from the force of his thrusts, he grabs your chin roughly and shakes you, forcing you to look back at him.
“Eyes. On. Me,” he hisses angrily.
Squeezing your cheeks to force your lips apart, he drags his thumb down your lower lip to pry them wider. He leans down, his hot breath tickling your skin while his damp strands of dark hair dance over your face.
He spits into your mouth, the traces of it dripping from his lips down to his chin, slicking your open mouth. It’s wild and savage, unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. Without giving you the opportunity to pull away, his lips cover yours as he forces his saliva to swallow down your throat.
His tongue dances around yours again while he fucks you deeply, each move threatening to break both you and the bed.
Your eyes roll back so far in your skull while your legs dangle helplessly around his hips. Every thrust feels like a punishment for making him wait. Your nerves are crying out for release—and eventually, you give in. Your cunt spasms violently around Bucky’s length as bliss overwhelms every single sense.
“Oh my god,” you cry. “I’m gonna cum—!”
Your cries fill the small house as your back arches off the damp bed. Bucky insists on making eye contact with you, holding your jaw and forcing you to look at him while he fucks you through your climax.
You clench him tightly, your pussy pulsing in loving beats and squeezing him for every last drop.
“Fuck. Yes. Good, feels so good,” he rasps angrily, his thrusts becoming harder and more desperate.
His balls slap vulgarly against your wet pussy, traces of your slick clinging to him every time he bottoms out. His balls churn with pent-up seed, aching to fill you deep. Your cries grow louder, your hips shifting around to accommodate the overstimulation—but it’s no use.
Bucky’s close, so close. While his eyes bore into yours, his pupils dilate with desire. He just needs to get deeper, to fuck you at an impossible angle to pump you full…
“Wait,” you dig your nails deep into his back, making him gasp in pain. “Slow down—it’s too much…”
He snarls angrily, his hips slowing down just a fraction, but not entirely.
The sound that leaves your lips is a cocktail of pain and bliss. It’s a sultry sound that encourages him to continue, to take what he wants, but the words leaving your mouth say otherwise.
“No,” you shake your head. “Stop, please. It’s too much for me. You’re going to break me—”
His hands release your cheeks roughly as his head drops to press his sweaty forehead against yours. Another animalistic sound tears through him as he forces his hips to come to a stop. His cock stills inside you—pulsing for any form of friction. Just a few more thrusts, and he’ll cum. He’ll cum hard. But he stops, because you asked him to.
“Need to cum,” he pants against your face, taking in the way your eyes have gone teary. “So close.”
“I know,” you say with a soft sigh, your eyes fluttering shut for just a moment. “I know. I just… just need a minute.”
You let your fingers trail up and down his back, and he shudders at the feeling.
The two of you lie there, tangled in each other’s limbs while you catch your breath. Bucky waits impatiently—his heart beating so fast in his chest as he uses every ounce of restraint in his blood to refrain from fucking you right through the bed.
Your pussy is already swollen and puffy from his size, and the longer he remains stuffed inside you, the tighter your body squeezes around him.
With his forehead pressed against yours, he shifts his knees and hips slightly to get comfortable, but even those tiny, forced movements are agonizing. Breathy moans and grunts escape both your lips, shared in the tight space between you. It’s sex without the vulgar movements, and it feels far too intimate for a ruthless man like Bucky.
Finally, you grant him permission.
Staring into his eyes, you give him a small nod to let him continue. And the moment you do, the last thread holding Bucky’s control snaps.
He grabs your legs and shoves them high over your shoulders, splitting you wide and pinning you down into a deep mating press. “Need to go deeper. Hold still.”
You had just gotten used to his size, and the sudden change in position makes your eyes fly open. Your mouth falls open in a gasp as he draws his hips back before bottoming out completely inside you.
His heavy, sweaty body crushes down on yours as he begins to fuck you hard and fast. Every draw of his hips fills you impossibly deep, your stretched cunt molding helplessly around his thick length. He works his hips in a wild, frantic rhythm, chasing his release at full speed before you can say another word to stop him.
“Mine,” he rasps through gritted teeth, his chest heaving as his sweat drips onto your skin. “Say it. Tell me you’re mine—”
The force of his hips slamming against yours knocks the breath right out of you, your moans coming out as breathless gasps while he pounds into you. His eyes bore into yours, waiting for you to finally give in.
“Tell me you’re mine. Say it.”
You blink through tears of bliss. “I—I’m yours—” you manage to stammer out.
His face twists in pleasure, baring his teeth as he pins your legs against your chest while the tip of his cock works deep against your cervix. “Good. A perfect sleeve for my cock. Look at me while I cum inside you.”
The sight of your face scrunched in pleasure and vulnerability sends a wave of heat coursing from his lower gut to the very tips of his toes. His cock pulses and throbs inside, slicking your walls with his pre-cum—a warning before giving you the real thing.
“Pump my cum,” his large palm settles over your lower belly. “All in here.”
The thought of you walking around the house barefoot and round with his children—growing up to be champions just like their father—makes his head spin and his balls grow heavy.
“Close. So close,” he curses and groans over and over, speaking more than he ever has. “Hold still. Take it all for me, wife.”
Bucky buries himself as deep as his length will go, pinning you down as his entire body locks tight. His cock pulses, pumping wave after thick wave of his hot seed deep inside your womb.
His head drops into the crook of your neck, his large, sweaty chest heaving against yours as he rides out his pleasure.
He releases your legs for a moment until both your rapid hearts finally slow to a steady beat. Slowly, agonizingly so, he draws his thick length back, pulling out of your slick, overstimulated cunt with a wet suction sound.
You let out a soft, breathless gasp at the sudden empty feeling. A ring of creamy white circles the base of his cock, and his seed dribbles between your folds—physical proof of what he just did to you.
Without a word, he grips both your ankles with one large hand, pinning your thighs together and pressing your legs straight up into the air to hold them suspended above you.
You blink at him—dazed, exhausted, and thoroughly used. His cock rests half-limp between his strong legs, so he clearly isn’t going for another round.
“What are you doing…?” you whisper softly, confused.
He holds your legs firmly in place as his dark eyes scan your bare, trembling body.
“Make sure it takes,” he grunts out, his voice rough from satisfaction. He uses his free hand to trace a warm, possessive line down to your lower belly, pressing down gently right over your womb. “Keep your belly round with my sons.”
You stare up at him in disbelief while your legs are held helplessly aloft by his massive hand. You’re too exhausted to argue, your brain still foggy from your orgasm. Still, you manage an incredulous laugh.
Does he seriously think propping your legs up like a pair of stilts is going to magically guarantee a pregnancy?
He looks so proud of himself that you don’t even have the heart to argue. He squeezes your ankles slightly, letting out a satisfied hum from his chest once he’s convinced his little trick did the job. The smile on his face is almost boyish in a way that does not belong to a rough man like him.
“Good wife,” he praises you. “Birth me healthy champions.”
You let out a soft sigh, fluttering your eyelids shut as fatigue finally crawls its way into your bones.
As you drift into slumber, you make a mental note to teach this brute a lesson on how gravity works. And right after that, you’ll teach him what aftercare is—especially if he plans on keeping you forever and making you his wife.
if you've made it this far, as always thank you so much for taking the time to read my work. interactions are always appreciated, I love reading every bit of them!
I do not have a tag list. to get notified for fic updates, please follow @notify-superbassbuck and turn on notifications.
warnings: 18+ MDNI, smut, pwp, straight porn, missionary, d/s dynamics, softdom!bucky, sub!reader, slight brat!reader, slight dumbification, oral fixation, sweat/spit/teeth kink (idk maybe lol), the aftercare is fucking again, creampie, bucky has a bush . . .
word count: 1.8k
a/n: this is me trying to get some requests finished :") i have a whole bunch, some of which i accidentally turned into long fics, some i hate the things i wrote and am trying to start again and some im figuring out, but this one came to me when i woke up horny for bucky barnes lol
thank you anon for the request !! <3
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The mattress creaks and the frame knocks into the wall, chipping the paint, denting the wood where the two meet.
Forehead to forehead, sweat accumulating with torrid breaths and aching muscles, Bucky's hips caught to yours. Pressing, slamming, holding down as he clenches his glutes and humps, elongating the pleasure, taunting.
But the light chime of his tags kept ringing. They keep batting across your chest, cold and moist, patting your chin and dragging across your skin when you were right there.
It was just as your legs fell open, knees laying up as his dick dragged in and out, and he willed his noises to stay at a minimum, when the tags flittered to the dip of your neck. Your lips parted, sighing, rolling your eyes as it tap tap tap's and sings against your hot skin. You move, careful not to ruin the precision, pressing the chain against his peck, holding them firm to his chest.
At first, Bucky almost sat up, almost paused to ask if you were okay — pushing at his sternum, brows taut and eyes glassy, whining with every breath. Instead he pushed deeper, metal fingers drawing up your body until they held your jaw, squeezing your cheeks, making you look into his eyes.
"What's the matter?" His breath sticks to your face, bumping his nose to yours. "Pushin' me away? C'mon, speak to me."
You can't. That's the problem. It feels like with each pull and push, each pulse around his cock, and every kiss his tip grants your cervix, he drives all linguistic knowledge out of your brain, spilling it from your lips in garbled nonsense and breathy moans.
A whiney hum spills out as you tighten your lips into a line, keeping your jaw firm. You lean back into the pillow, shutting your eyes trying to find any semblance of words, but his hips keep moving. Slower now, yet still as effective, still holding you rigid and perfectly, and tauntingly precise. Rutting the length of himself inside of you while the fuzz of hair that littered the base kept grazing your clit. It isn't until one hand claws at the meat of his shoulder, and the other, the hand that pushed at the chain, leaving tiny dents in it's wake, fisted at the metal.
It clinks as the tags stay dangling from your palm, bumping to and fro.
"Oh, sweetheart," Bucky soothes, the warm metal of his thumb strokes against your bottom lip, slicked with spit and salty with sweat. "We're they botherin' you?"
You nod quickly, leaving a sharp smile on his face, dipping down to leave gentle kisses against your jaw.
"My smart girl," you keen into the praise, leaning deeper into his hand, letting his voice rasp and vibrate into your skin, leaving more room for him to lick and kiss. "Thought you wanted me to stop."
Ardently, you shake your head, ruffling your hair into the pillow behind you.
"No, no stopping. 'M not gonna stop." And he doesn't. His flesh hand replaces your own around the tags and he slots them between his teeth.
Salt and iron cover his tongue, sweat that had dripped from his down body, and your own that had mixed in as it had laid against your own skin, or tapped annoyingly your neck. It makes a dull sound as they sat firmly between his teeth, braced to the side, just where his molars start and his canines dig into the printed letters of his name.
It shouldn't be hot.
The sight of his mouth full, his teeth bared, carrying something precious with an iron grip of his jaw, made your walls pulse. You almost wanted to swap it out, to reach up and take the tags in your own mouth, enveloped in the debauched taste of century old metal, skin and spit.
But its hedonic. You love how he looks. Skin slick, chest heaving, drool already pooling at the edges of the tags, at the corner of his mouth right where his lips met. Animalistic in a way.
"There we go, there we go," his speech muffled, yet still affirmative and firm as he brings back the pace. Making your head drop back and mouth hang open on a gasp, arching your back. The warmth of his palm glides up your torso, leaving goosebumps as he drags up and down, before pulling your leg up by the thigh to latch onto his waist and holding you firmly at the hip. All while holding himself up on his forearm, vibranium fingers holding the top of your head reassuringly, grazing his thumb on your hairline.
He hums, unable to speak with his mouth full, unable to gather the spit about to fall. Your hands claw at the contorting muscles of his shoulder blades, moving to capture his hair between your fingers.
The tug you force has him stuttering, hips pressing to your own, the hair surrounding his base tickles again, right against your nub.
"Oh—fuck," you breathe out, jaw slack and tight all at once, the light feeling of release easing up your back as your thighs begin to tingle and tremble around his torso. "Bucky… Bucky, please."
The rivulets of spit drop, coating your neck and chin, and he follows them down until his hot, wet breath finds your temple. His chest caves with each inhale, keeping his hips up, holding down the pace that has you throbbing up his shaft, your nails digging into his shoulder and thighs shaking. He can feel the ring around the root of him, creamy and white, mixed in with the dark patch of hair.
The tags tinkle dully, let go from the cell of his teeth to lay wet next to your neck. You pay no mind to the slurping sound of him gathering spit from his lips; only staying in the blissed out haze of Bucky's body atop of yours and his pretty cock slapping in and out of you.
"C'mon, c'mon…" he repeats like a mantra, whispering under his breath, heated on the shell of your ear. "You got it, fuck, you feel so good. Wanna cum—cum inside of you, wanna push it in deep, n'keep fuckin' it in… Please, please, please…"
As your nails print crescents into his skin, your mouth holds a jumble of 'yes's to his shoulder. Balm and torrid to the meat of his shoulder, your body locks and a sweet ache begins to release around the stretch of him. Your lips press to his collarbone, muffling the shudders and whines and gasps that release as he fucks you through it, wet slaps and mumbled grunts chorusing together while you jolt and pulse.
It isn't long until he follows through, finishing deep inside, pressing and holding himself as his cock twitches with each spurt of cum. As if awoken from his daze, he keeps his hips moving.
Splatterings of white coat both of your pelvises and thighs, shuddering with overstimulation, muscles limp from overexertion, eyes half lidded and lips parted and red.
Bucky slowed himself as your jerking lessened and your teeth bared to hiss at the mild pain, and his dick softened. He watched, holding himself up with his knuckles to the pillow, guiding the softer limb to stay inside of your full warmth, uncaring about the mess that now coats his fingers — absentmindedly licking them off like candy residue.
Sighs and soft groans alike leave you both as he slips out. Your nails caress his torso, gliding gently up the red marks you printed on his back, down to the sensitive muscles of his ass, making him twitch and press his hips to yours again with a stifled laugh to your jaw.
"Careful, might get hard again before I can clean you up." He kisses and breathes you in, holding you into his body as your fingers hold their gentle rhythm.
You huff a lazy version of a laugh, nosing against the sweet smell of sweat where his neck meets his shoulder.
"Oh no, how awful," You croak sarcastically. The weakness in your voice makes you both laugh fully, rumbling chests pressed against one another, cheeks tight with smiles, and eyes watching with warm fragments. After a short moment of silence, of lungs catching up, you follow down the column of his neck to where his dog tags laid lopsided on your chest, and hummed. "I liked that thing you did."
"'That thing'?" He pressed, smirking, lowering his voice. "I've got many things goin' for me, sweetheart, be specific."
Another laugh breaks, crinkling your eyes at the corners, playfully pushing at his chest.
"That dog tag thing, you know, putting them in your mouth."
"You liked that?"
You nodded, fervently. "Uh-huh. Very much."
His lips move into a soft smile, catching the slick metal cards between his fingers to bring them up.
"That so?" He teases quietly, dragging them across your bottom lip, leaving the dewy residue to sit, sliding them just between the seam of your lips only to jut it out with a pop. "Maybe next time you can hold them for me?"
With your tongue poking out, you get a taste of the flavour that pooled alongside Bucky's own tongue. Musky and sour, tangy with body heat. And with a soft press on your thigh, you know that you're under a limit.
"Next time meaning five minutes?" You prod, tilting your head innocently. "Haven't even gotten cleaned up and it seems like little Sergeant Barnes is reporting for duty."
With a tut, he holds your chin, shaking his head. "Nuh-uh, fuck that and your smart mouth. Open wide, hold tight."
You obey and bite down as he slots the tags between your teeth, tugging at the chain twice to test out your grip. You scrunch your nose and furrow your brows, playfully pulling back at the chain. The grotesque brackishness of the tester you got grips you fully and drips down your throat.
"'Little Sergeant Barnes'," he repeats, sitting up as far as he could to grab ahold on himself. Sticky, wet and just as hard as before. He strokes himself, groaning as he fists tighter at his ruddy tip, coaxing a pearl of precum. Defiantly, he taps his heaviness on your clit. "Keep that up and making sure every inch of you aches with me the next day, understood?"
A giggle bubbles up before you could force it down. He slaps his cock against your clit again, holding and coating it down and between your lips, still creamy and dripping his own release, bullying your button with his tip. Your whine is muffled between your teeth as you bear them down.
"Understood?" He pushes, voice firmer, harsher, and you nod, heart racing, ribs already quivering. The sounds of your joint bodies squelch louder and louder, as your head lays dizzier and dizzier, but his voice whispers so soft and the way he terrorises and hounds your insides brings stars to the corners of your eyes.
summary: After falling asleep in the sun, Bucky learns the hard way that the super soldier serum can’t protect him from everything. Luckily, you don’t mind taking care of him in his state of vulnerability.
word count: 4.4k
warnings/tags: very brief mentions of bucky’s past, reader is described to be wearing a sundress, otherwise there are no descriptions of her looks, a lot of fluff, reader takes care of bucky, they aren’t together (yet) but both very aware of their feelings, petnames (sweetheart, doll, my love), physical affection
author’s note: This is my first participation in the picnic blanket prompts and I am so excited to write many more over the next few weeks! Thanks @juniebjonesin for these amazing prompts, I absolutely love them and I hope that you guys are going to like this fic!!
Also, I got a question to all the writers out here- I really feel like in my writing, I am retelling what’s happening more than I am letting the reader be a part of it. I’ve heard that that’s often an issue new writers have in the beginning, do you have any recommendations how to get rid of it? I’d really appreciate some advice!!
dividers by @chateaubarnes
If Bucky's life would still be like it had been only a few weeks ago, today wouldn't have been special.
As a matter of fact, his life used to be filled with the same routine every day, making days blend together as Bucky went through the motions without actually realizing how much time had passed again.
Time got weird like that sometimes, especially when you never had anything to look forward to when every day looked exactly the same.
If he was still living in Brooklyn, he would have to go to therapy and sit in an office he had absolutely no interest in being in before he went back home and did nothing for the rest of the day, the noise in his mind weighing him down so heavily that doing anything but staying in his apartment seemed impossible.
It hadn't exactly been a healthy habit to isolate himself, but it had been familiar.
And for a long time, that was all Bucky really had the energy to manage.
But even when he got better, when the weight of his past had finally gotten light enough for him to breathe again, Bucky still had a hard time pulling himself out of habits that were all he used to have.
But now he had Sam, too. Wether that was a blessing or a curse, he wasn't really sure yet.
And Sam decided that Bucky had been miserable for way too long now, which was why he dragged him down to Louisiana, claiming that he needed the change in scenery if he didn’t want to be miserable forever.
And instead of staying a month, like he'd initially planned, Bucky just… didn't leave again.
Sure, he decided to stay because of Sam, Sarah and the kids and how Delacroix managed to silence his thoughts in a way New York never managed to, but there was more to it than just that.
You were here, too.
Sam had first introduced you two because you were a close friend of the Wilson family, but also because you used to live in Brooklyn before your family decided to move here when the life of the city became too much.
He figured that with how hard it was for Bucky to warm up to new people, that shared connection might make it a little easier.
And he had been right.
Bucky wasn't sure when exactly it happened, but you quickly turned into much more than just the woman his best friend grew up with.
You were kind, that much Bucky had known ever since he'd first talked to you that day down at the docks, when him and Sam had still been working on the boat and you'd walked over to them with that stupidly beautiful smile and a sundress so stunning, it had made him drop a wrench on his foot.
Sam had laughed about that all week, constantly talking about nonsense like love at first sight and how horribly Bucky was hiding his little crush.
Whilst Bucky really didn't believe in stuff like love at first sight, he couln't deny that he had taken a liking to you from the very first moment.
He would rather chew on glass than admit that in front of Sam, though.
Bucky wasn't the kind of person to trust others easily. He'd experienced too much in his life for that, so strangers were always a difficult challenge.
He knew that his skepticism could sometimes make him seem rude or unfriendly, especially if people didn't realize that there was a reason for his closed off behavior.
You never seemed to mind it too much, though.
You just tried to make conversation, never letting his noncomittal answers and unhealthy amount of staring get to you. You just kind of… stuck around. And even though Bucky didn't get it, he sure as hell wasn't complaining.
Over the last few months, thanks to your unrelenting patience and stubbornness, you'd managed to sneak your way into his heart and Bucky'd only realised when it was already far too late for him to do anything about it anymore.
His first instinct had been to pull away again, to put some much needed distance between the two of you so he could get away from those things only you ever managed to make him feel.
He couldn't quite bring himself to do that, though.
Sure, Bucky still had bad days and nights where he woke up screaming, but he didn't think that all he deserved for the rest of his life was punishment for what had been done to him.
Not anymore, at least.
He liked to believe that he was mostly over that, so he did his best to suppress the self destructive behaviours that were instinct more than a conscious decision by now and thought that maybe, this thing between the two of you was something he was allowed to have.
That maybe, the way you looked at him when you thought he wasn't paying attention and sat just a few inches closer to him than necessary meant that you were feeling this, too.
And that just maybe, he would finally get his chance at having something good.
So Bucky didn't fight it when the two of you were spending more and more time together and he was suddenly staying at your place more than he slept at Sarah's anymore.
And neither did you.
The two of you were currently in this beautifully fragile phase between being friends and actually being something, your relationship too much for what the one thing stood for but still not enough to put a name on it yet.
Bucky didn't feel the need to rush it, though.
This was the first special thing he got to have in over seven decades of his life and he was more than content with relishing in every single second of it as much as he could.
You didn't seem to mind it too much, either.
You and Bucky were dancing around each other like two teenagers in love, sure, but it didn't feel like uncertainty or lack of commitment, which were usually the reasons why situationships never actually turned into more than just that.
It just felt like you were taking your time, simple as that.
So when Bucky started to sleep at your place more often than not, both of you just claimed that the Wilson household was busy enough as it was and you had more than enough space for a second person to live in your home.
You called it convenience, though everyone who saw the two of you together knew that this had nothing to do with convenience.
This were two people trying to navigate their feelings together- one of them learning how to trust again whilst the other was more than happy to provide the space and stability for them to do exactly that.
And because trust like that needed time, the two of you started to slip into a domestic routine without even actually noticing it.
Bucky made it a habit to walk to your favorite bakery every morning to get the pastries you liked so much for breakfast whilst you were still asleep, mostly because waking up early in the morning was a habit he still couldn't shake, but also because the smile that lit up your face when you came out of the bedroom and saw freshly brewed coffee and the warm baked goods sitting on the table was worth more than sleeping in could ever be.
He liked the peacfulness of it, too. That early in the morning, the fishermen were already busy down at the docks, knowing him well enough by now to greet him by his name when he walked past.
It reminded him of his childhood in Brooklyn a little, when everyone in his neighborhood used to look out for each other, no matter what.
Even though it wasn't exactly the same and Bucky wasn't a kid anymore, the familiarity of it always made his heart a little lighter.
After breakfast, when the heat was still light enough to be managable, the two of you often sat down in the backyard together, just like you did right now.
The parasol was offering some shade, giving you a chance to comfortably read your book whilst Bucky was lying on his back, trying very desperately not to fall asleep, watching you read way more captivating than sleep could ever be.
Bucky was pulled out of his dreamy daze when you put your book away and got up, your sundress flowing beautifully in the soft breeze of the early morning.
"I think I'll quickly head to the store. We ran out of a few things, might be good to get them before it gets too warm."
The plan made sense, especially because the summer heat of Louisiana was too extreme to actually do anything during the day except stay inside, were the AC at least made it a little bearable.
Still, it took Bucky a moment to register what you were saying with how much the sleepiness was clouding his brain, but when he realized what your plans were he got up from his spot as fast as he could, scrambling to his feet so quickly you could assume that he couldn't stand the idea of staying at home whilst you left to get groceries. "I'll go with you."
He knew damn well that getting a few things usually meant that you'd come back with at least two bags full of stuff and Bucky would be damned if he let you take care of that on your own.
He knew that you could carry the bags on your own, but that wasn't the point.
He didn't want you to. With how nice and welcoming you'd been towards him for the last few months, the least he could do was make sure that he offered his help as much as he could.
You only laughed, though, letting your eyes drift over him like you were trying to prove a point. "Like that? You'd put on a show for the old ladies, that's for sure."
Bucky's cheeks heated up with embarrassment as he noticed that he was indeed just wearing a pair of shorts, his upper body very much exposed and muscles visibly standing out with the thin layer of sweat glistening on his skin.
Being shirtless, especially in front of others, was also something he would've avoided only a few weeks ago.
The prosthetic and scars were not exactly something he wanted other peolpe to see, but he didn't really mind it that much with you.
The first time you'd seen him shirtless had been when he'd gotten out of the shower one evening, wearing nothing but a towel around his hips as he made his way back to the guest room when the two of you had nearly collided in the hallway.
For a long moment, you'd just… stared at each other.
Bucky's eyes had been fixed on your face, so scared of how you might react, something that turned out to be very unjustified when he'd noticed how you were looking at him.
It was safe to say that the expression on your face had been very far away from the disgust he'd expected.
You'd opened your mouth before you closed it again, words not really coming to you as your eyes travelled over his muscular chest, down to his abs and up to his face again.
"You're staring."
"I am," you had agreed. "I wasn't really aware that I was living with a greek god. Holy shit, Barnes."
It had been a very unique way of complementing his physique, but Bucky couldn't deny that he'd been smiling more than he usually did when he'd gotten ready for bed that day.
Because a compliment from you? That might as well be the best thing that ever happened to him.
"I'll quickly grab a shirt and then we can go-"
"No, Buck. I'm going." Your tone was a little stern, though the smile on your face suggested that you only said it like that because you knew how stubborn Bucky could be. "You're staying here. You were literally on the brink of falling asleep a minute ago and I'd be damned if I was the reason that you can't catch up on some much needed sleep."
Bucky wanted to argue, he really did… but it wasn't like you were wrong.
He could still feel the tiredness weighing down his limps, so staying here was a pretty tempting idea. "Are you sure?"
"Positve." You were already walking towards the house, trying to leave as quickly as possible before he’d change his mind again. "Just try to stay in the shade, yeah? The sun is going to get a little strong over the next few hours."
He only chuckled, your concern very sweet but completely unnecessary.
He was a super soldier, after all. He could handle a little UV radiation. "Don't worry about me, sweetheart. I'll be fine."
Famous last words, but Bucky didn't know that yet.
Honestly, you'd been gone for way longer than you'd first thought you'd be. In a small town like Delacroix, you couldn't leave the house without at least three people pulling you into a conversation- especially now that a very handsome man was living with you, if you were to quote them.
Convincing the people in this town that you and Bucky weren't more than friends was even harder than you'd expected, but honestly, you couldn't even blame them for not believing you.
You didn't even believe it yourself, so why would the people that had seen you grow up and could tell when you were lying from a mile away?
They were being sweet about it though, you had to give them that. Even the knitting club of town, which was full of elderly and very judgemental ladies, had given you their approval when it came to Bucky, which was rare. Usually, it took them a lot longer to warm up to knew people, especially ones from the city.
On the other hand, Bucky had been nothing but a gentleman towards them, so you could't really blame them for taking a liking to him so quickly.
He had that affect on you too, after all. And he did have the kind of manners that were pretty rare these days, especially in the modern dating culture.
That was also the reason why you were a little surprised when you walked through the front door with three bags of groceries in your arms and Bucky didn't immediately appear in front of you, more than ready to take them from you because he never really wanted you to carry the heavy stuff when he was around- not because you were incapable, you had made it very clear that you were.
It just seemed like one of those things he'd learned growing up and couldn't really shake. You'd told him multiple times already that Bucky didnt have to do so much, that he was your guest and it wasn't his responsibility to help you out so much, but Bucky wasn't having it.
He just claimed that it was the least he could do, especially with how much he was staying at your place.
And if you were being honest to yourself, both of you knew that Bucky was way more than just a guest.
This was his home as much as it was yours, at least it felt like that lately.
Whether it was fixing the leaky sink in the kitchen or cooking with you, Bucky didn't shy away from anything.
No matter what, he always insisted on doing whatever he could, claiming that his ma would turn in her grave if he just accepted your hospitality without giving anything back.
Just how used you already were to his presence showed in this moment, because you kept expecting him to join you in the kitchen with that stupid grin and even stupider muscles, which you were seeing more of now that he was occasionally walking around shirtless.
You were happy that he was comfortabe enough to do that around you, but how much it was messing with your head was really becoming a serious problem.
You figured that he was probably still sleeping in the backyard, though that would be more than just unusual. It's been three hours since you've first left the house and Bucky wasn't really one for long naps.
As a matter of fact, he didn't really sleep a lot at all. He'd once told you that he was lucky if he got three hours of sleep at night at all, so this was more than just a little weird.
Deciding that the groceries could wait a moment longer, you abandoned them were they were lying on the kitchen counter and made your way to the backyard, just to see that Bucky was still lying in the very same spot he'd been in when you'd left.
Just that now, th sun had moved so much that the parasol wasn't actually providing any shade anymore.
Instead, Bucky was completely exposed to the sun, his skin already a very concerning shade of red.
And even though the heat had to be unbearable if you considered how long he'd been lying there already, the man who'd usually wake up from the tiniest bit of noise or disturbance was still out cold.
You immediately made your way over to him and placed your hand on Bucky's shoulder, his skin hot and clammy with sweat. "Hey, Buck." You kept your voice low as you gently squeezed his shoulder, not wanting to startle him. "C'mon, hun, wake up."
It took a moment longer until Bucky lifted his head, looking at you with such a dazed expression, it looked like the heat must've gotten to his head just as much as it did to his skin.
"Hey there." Crouching down next to the sun lounger so you'd be on eye level with him, you brushed some of the strands away that were plastered to his forehead, a touch he immediately leaned into.
"How long was I out for?" His words were slurred and thick with sleep, his accent a lot more prominent than it usually was.
"About three hours." Bucky seemed to be as surprised as you had been, though you had other concerns than his unexpectedly long nap right now.
Bucky naturally ran hot due to the serum, but he was exceptionally warm. Searing, even, which really wasn't a good sign. "You feeling alright?"
"A little dizzy, to be honest," he admitted as he moved to sit up, frowning in very obvious discomfort as he lifted one of his hands to hold his head. "Shit."
Even though that didn't really calm your worries, you were glad that he was still sweating, so it at least wasn't a heat stroke.
His symptoms did look an awful lot like heat exhaustion though, which meant that you had to get him out of the sun as soon as possible. "Let's get you inside, huh? I think that was enough sun exposure for a day."
Usually, Bucky was one of the most composed people you've ever seen. He had the most impressive body control and moved his body with a kind of ease that- especially if you considered the prosthetic-he definitely shouldn't have, and it amazed you.
Right now, he just looked… not well. His movements were sluggish, his skin heavily sunburnt and his face way too pale for your liking.
You rested your hand on his lower back as you guided him inside, just in case he stumbled, though you were pretty sure that there wasn't really anything you could do to support the man who was built like a wall and probably weighed more than 200 pounds.
Bucky didn't say a word as he sat down on the couch, letting himself sag into the cushions as his head fell back against the headrest and he closed his eyes, chest rising and falling shallowly.
"You good?" You probably sounded like a broken record, but you couldn't help yourself. With how much Bucky usually tried to hide his weaknesses, seeing him like this made you worry way more than you should.
"Yeah," he murmured, but it wasn't really convincing. "Just a little nauseous, 's all."
Dizziness, nausea, overheating and paleness.
That wasn't exactly great, so you quickly got a few things that would hopefully help him before you made your way back to the living room.
Bucky peeked one eye open as he heard you walk through the kitchen, the sound of your feet hitting the hardwood floor enough to distract him a little.
He was glad that you weren't gone too long and joined him in the living room a moment later again. He was feeling like shit, but your presence helped more than he wanted to admit.
"Small sips, alright? Take it easy." Bucky did as he was told, because how could he not when you were looking at him like that? Taking the unscrewed bottle from you, he lifted it to his lips and let the water run down his throat, the coolness of it a welcome relief.
In the meantime, you drenched the soft cloth in a bowl of water and carefully wiped it over his chest, barely even grazing his skin, but Bucky hissed anyway, making you wince in sympathy. "Sorry. Does it hurt?" It was an unnecessary question, especially if you considered his reaction, but you asked anyway.
"A little," he admitted, voice still a little too hoarse for your liking, despite the water you'd just given him. "Not as much as you hovering, though."
That made you stop in your motions for a moment. "I'm not hovering."
"You are, too." A lazy grin spread across his face, affectionate more than it was teasing. "But it's cute, so we're all good."
"Glad that I get your approval, Barnes." You tried to focus on cooling him down and wiping the sweat off of his body, trying to ignore the heat creeping up your cheeks that- at least in your case- had nothing to do with a sunburn.
You tried to keep your focus on the task at hand, but it was hard to concentrate with how intensely Bucky was looking at you. "Quit staring."
A soft huff of laughter slipped past his lips. "Ain't staring, sweetheart. Just appreciatin' the view."
"Well, then quit appreciating it."
"Don't think I can do that. You're too pretty."
Even though Bucky hadn't been subtle with his flirting for the last few weeks, this was a little direct-even for his charming personality.
"I think the sun did some damage to your brain, Buck. Don't say things you're gonna regret when the heat exhaustion's over."
The lazy smirk on Bucky's face was in place again as he looked at you through hooded eyes. "Only 'cause I don't usually say this kind of stuff doesn't mean it ain't true. I'm just too much of a coward to tell you certain things sometimes, sweetheart. Don't wanna mess this up."
"You're not messing anything up, Buck, don't worry. Now stop talking and drink your water."
"Yes, ma'am." He gave you a mock salute and you couldn't help but wonder how he could still be so silly whilst feeling this shitty, but maybe that was just how he functioned.
When you were finished the cloth, you reached for the lotion instead that would hopefully manage to calm the sunburn a little bit and put some on your hand, giving Bucky a warning look. "This could be a little cold."
He did tense a little when you started to rub the lotion into his chest and stomach, the intimate touch making you blush once again.
You had to realise that you did that a lot around him lately, but this time, Bucky didn't comment on it.
As a matter of fact, he looked almost confused, like he didn't quite understand why you were doing this for him.
"You don't have to take care of me like this, you know that right?
"I know," you agreed, hands rubbing the moisturizer into his shoulders now. "I want to, though."
Again, that seemed to catch him off guard.
Bucky often had moments like that, when he would realize that the lack of kindness and care he'd grown so used to weren't actually how things would always be.
That it would never be like that with you.
"You keep surprising me, you know that?"
Now, that made you laugh a little. "I try my best, that's for sure."
You just kept tending to his sunburn for the next few minutes, making sure that it was taken care of properly before you put the lotion away and sat down next to Bucky, searching for any possible signs of discomfort. "You okay?"
This time, Bucky took a few seconds to think about the question before he nodded. "Better now thanks to you."
"Well, I'm glad that I could help."
After you said that, the two of you just… looked at each other for a moment, Bucky's eyes so much more expressive than he ever managed to be with his words.
Obviously, the sunburn and heat exhaustion weren't something he should've had to experience, but it had led to a moment far more intimate than there had ever been between the two of you.
It felt different now, when his eyes dropped to your lips every few seconds.
He didn't act on it, not yet.
But he seemed to understand now that you weren't only around for the predictable things, but that your care about him didn't come with a catch.
You were there for him and he didn't have to do anything to earn that care, at least not in the way he'd grown so used to.
He just got to be Bucky. The man that was comfortable enough to take naps around you, tried his best to help you around the house as much as he could and liked reading more than he would ever admit to anyone but you.
He didn't quite know how to navigate just being that yet without the weight of fighting and missions sitting heavy on his shoulders, but for you?
im so tempted to write a little fic inspired by this but I DONT KNOW
Bucky Barnes who is NOT afraid to get back into the debaucherous world of sex, BY ANY MEANS. He's just ... O.O.P. Out Of Practice.
Makes it overly clear to you on your second date that he has no clue what he's doing. Barely knew in the 40s, has absolutely no idea now. He blushes too.
His hands tremble a little when you guide them to your ass, who mumbles something about disrespect under his breath.
He can't look anywhere but your eyes the first time you take your shirt off, and you think if he could glue them shut he probably would.
Hits his head against the slightly-too-tough back of the couch when you straddle him, nothing but the thinness of both your underwear between you two.
Keeps muttering that he's fucking this up somehow, and you don't know how to tell him he's the most gorgeous thing you've seen in a long while - eyes wide, mouth constantly parted, slightly flushed.
Who cannot stop silently thanking some higher power when your bra finally comes off, and most definitely cannot keep his mouth off you - or his teeth, for that matter.
Gets so caught up in the softness of you that he barely registers the fact you're moving your hips against him.
Who can't stop panting into the space between your neck and shoulder when you tangle your fingers into the hair at the base of his neck, tugging ever-so-slightly while you grind down harder on him.
Who barely has time to warn you before he comes in his boxers, his thumbs pressing so hard into your hips you can already feel the purple forming.
Who lets out a noise crossed between a whimper and a moan, so lustful it makes you gasp.
Who immediately forgets all his worries the second he sets his mind on repaying you, because no way is this ending without you at least coming in your pants too.