everything i learned when i was 17

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

February 19, 2017

You are not your mind and not your thoughts. You are not you. To ask what you are is to have asked too much. Surrender all to what is, you are cancelling all if you have any intent of becoming. To intend becoming is to lose a race you never started that never even existed. If you were to ask me truly who I am, I may say I am and I am not and any further answer cannot exist. Once there is a defining, all has been destroyed through creation. Stop seeking, unconditional acceptance of all is your true natural state. Do not know, only be, as once you enable thought you are enabling the destruction of you and all that is, through the definition of you.

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

February 4, 2017

I know how it feels to be sad, it feels like a something. Something that isn't nothing, because nobody wants to feel nothing. So we choose the next easiest thing; Sadness. We put a playlist of thoughts on repeat constantly reminding ourselves of our struggles and losses, of our heartbreaks and devastations. Because it's easy. We think that we're alright where we are and take a dark pleasure in our own misery, sadness is a seduction that you don't want to let go of. Little did we know that all it takes is a tiny bit of work to get over that first huge mountain, as the first is always the biggest. And once we are over it, we find ourselves happy and whole and with more satisfaction than sadness could ever give us. We are afraid of risking what we have for something we don't know, when we have everything to gain. Take the leap. Let yourself find a better existence. It's out there waiting for you.

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

February 4, 2017

I see infinite planes stretching out in every dimension. I am of them. At the end of every distance are an unimaginable amount of varying possibilities, of potential pain and loss, of opportunities for love and happiness; I don't even know what I don't know about reality and it's predictability or lack thereof. Do we happen for a reason? Does reason even exist?

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

January 27, 2017

My reality is based on my own presumptions of impossible-to-predict reactions dependent on the manner in which I scream my existence into the void of subjectively perceptual time and space within the realm of supposedly shared human comprehension. Am I all alone? Are we all really one? Does anything I say or do really matter on a cosmic energy scale? Are we all the divine or parts of it and does that mean there is only "I" and "I" am the divine because we are me? Does anything really exist?

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

January 27, 2017

You wanna be content but your commitment is so damn inconsistent saying you want distance and resistance from your mind's coexistence with negativity, but can't wrap it around the concept of persistence; So while you're drifting from your instincts right this instance you gotta change. Because the only difference between you and I is how we perceive our existence. Time has only made you lackadaisical and these days your soul can't afford the distance from and non-existence of, human compassion.

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

January 18, 2017

You choose how your day goes. Learn to appreciate the way the dirty bus windows scatter the sunshine.

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

January 9, 2017

I know you're scared, because it feels like you'll never get out; That you'll never be *that* person, never enjoying your daily life. You want to be happier, and you've made a couple changes, kind of, you thought about what you could do to be happier. But you worry it won't be enough, you worry that you're not making progress fast enough. You have days and weeks when you really wonder what the point of it all is; what you're doing wrong. Every now and then it creeps into your mind when you're trying to sleep, a sense of hopelessness and dread, a sense that there's nothing you can do and life will always be this way. You'll become jaded and cynical, as a way to survive. You think: "life will never be beautiful, therefore there is no point to appreciate the things that are". You believe that if you let yourself love that you are dooming yourself to inevitable collapse. You don't want to die, you never even thought about suicide. But you don't know why you're alive if this is all there is. You just don't get it. You tell yourself you hate people, you hate love, you hate this and that and those and these. You don't believe all the hippy-dippy bullshit about loving each other and peace and compassion. You roll your eyes at kindness and scoff at those who preach goodness. Maybe you drink away the empty dread, telling yourself that it's just for fun. You focus on the devastation because it's easier than being accountable for your own actions and instead of using it to learn, use it as just another reason not to love. You wish life would hurry up and get it over with. You're just wasting time and sitting around with a dim hope that maybe something out of the ordinary will happen. The world feels grey, and you're just so exhausted. You feel like you missed out. You confine yourself to a certain set of characteristics and decide against change. After all, if life seems to be on this course of never becoming better than it is now, why bother? But one day, a few years from now, you won't see it like that anymore. You will say "I am a happy person". You never got those braces you wanted, but it doesn't really matter anymore. You're happy. I'm happy.

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

January 8, 2017

You must find a way to live of love and compassion before you are able to find your real purpose. Love is the foundation of who we are and compassion is what we must demand of ourselves if we are to live with others, and we cannot survive without others. The journey to live out of love is only the first of many, despite it feeling like a singularity when you are experiencing it. Do not fret because there is more work ahead, rejoice that you will have the ability to appreciate life in all its beauty, and that you will know how it feels to be greedy for more time to live it. This is only the beginning, but it only gets better. The first mountain is always the highest. Keep going.

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

December 23, 2016

Don't wait for the next beginning of something to change, time does not stop and start and waiting until next Monday or next week or next year, isn't helping you. Start now, there's no time like the present.

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

December 16, 2016

It is harder than I ever once thought to learn what it truly means that not everyone will like you, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. There is no pleasing everyone; At the end of the day when I am standing true to my values, and the people I care about, it will always be worth losing the few that do not care for me .

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

December 3, 2016

The time to start is now, there will never be a starting gun firing to signal off your life. To stop tripping over yourself you gotta start running, keep up with the pace. It'll make it easier along the way, cause it may be a little fast, but at least you'll be where you're supposed to be in the end.

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

November 24, 2016

We all believe the same things. We just have different names for them. That is not to say we all live by the same rules, only that we all feel the connectedness, to... well, everything.

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

November 17, 2016

We are often uncomfortable in our bodies because we attempt to live in the future, but the future will never come faster than we can perceive it. Which means we only waste the precious opportunity to immerse ourselves fully in life. You must learn acceptance of the now, accept your current circumstances and that it is not the future time you are thinking of, yet. Once you have acceptance, you will find contentment, and be able to fully "live in the moment."

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

November 14, 2016

I reject negativity. I will not revel in it. I will do whatever in my power to create an impenetrable and renewable aura of positivity and love in my life. I have come so far and I would love to help others grow their own self-love as much as possible.

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

November 12, 2016

It is not a guarantee that things will get better, the only guarantee in life is change, and change brings with it the opportunity for better things.

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

November 9, 2016

I thought I felt so much more in quantity than others, when I really was just living in my own neurotic world. I over-thought myself into a chaos where I never knew what was going on and lost touch with the vast majority. I was so focused on not giving attention to the ego that that was all I was doing. I got stuck in the mindset of "I'm so spiritual and awakened compared to all those other people" rather than mingling with them and getting to know the hearts and souls of the types of people I haven't known very well before. I've also had to accept that maybe it's just who I am as a person, that I can still care about those I don't talk to anymore without having them in my life. I can find love for every soul and that has brought with it an ease to be humble. It is far more growth that comes when you let go of your pride and sort out an issue with someone than hold onto it and let it stop any opportunities the relationship might have otherwise fruited.

[everythingilearnedwheniwas17]

November 6, 2016

You’re all just doing this to yourselves, do you realize that? Have you noticed nothing is ever as earth-shattering as it seems? Do you hear the ambiance of the life you are enveloped in, or is it only white noise to your thoughts? There is not only beauty in the far away skies, but at about 3 inches in front of your eyes. You are alive. You are here. Everything’s going to be okay.