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@ex-animo-de-alex
Alright fuckers let's try this again
Hi, my name is Alex. I'm one of the two employees at the Ex Animo Bowling Alley. Nice to meet you, please be cordial! I only use << >> on the workdays, so don't expect any of those. She/they pronouns (for now, at least!)
Also, if you have a copy of Wii Play, I'd like to speak with you about a business opportunity.
Please tell me other people do this please tell me I’m sane
@ex-animo-de-alex
youcore
am i using that right?
Yeah, that's about right.
hey um. hey guys. help. im um. [Sound of metal banging against wood] im stuck in this closet. anyone?
Hey- Hey, are you okay? That's a bad question. I'll help you out, alright? Just... give me a second.
Oh thank god. Um, I'm not sure exactly how this thing opens... I'm pretty sure it locks from the outside? I dunno. The other few I got stuck in all had varying levels of lockage.
I might have a key! Give me a- well, I already...
[He sighs and runs through his key ring, trying to unlock the door. Does it unlock?]
[CHUNK. The key gets stuck in the hole halfway through turning it.] Um. What was. Hello?
[He tries to pull it out.]
Uh oh. Um. Okay. So, I got a key in the hole. And the key is now stuck. So I'll have to think of a plan B.
[He thinks for a moment.]
You mentioned getting stuck in other closets? How many closets have you gotten stuck in? ...I don't mean to sound rude, but why are you going into closets at this point?
Uh, at least three at this point. I don't really go into them on purpose though, I'm pretty sure someone's been locking me in random closets while I sleep? Not sure why. It's not even a funny prank.
hey um. hey guys. help. im um. [Sound of metal banging against wood] im stuck in this closet. anyone?
Hey- Hey, are you okay? That's a bad question. I'll help you out, alright? Just... give me a second.
Oh thank god. Um, I'm not sure exactly how this thing opens... I'm pretty sure it locks from the outside? I dunno. The other few I got stuck in all had varying levels of lockage.
I might have a key! Give me a- well, I already...
[He sighs and runs through his key ring, trying to unlock the door. Does it unlock?]
[CHUNK. The key gets stuck in the hole halfway through turning it.] Um. What was. Hello?
hey um. hey guys. help. im um. [Sound of metal banging against wood] im stuck in this closet. anyone?
"Uh. Is there anything unusual about the closet?"
Well-- it-- I think it locks from the outside? Or at least I'm pretty sure it does, I can't really tell from in here. I guess it's kinda spacious?
"Okay well I can't teleport in which is weird. And I can't seem to get the lock open. Have you tried just... hitting it?"
Um, let me -- [Rustling fabric, limbs hitting against door] -- It's a little hard to get an angle... Ah, got it. [BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!] Anything happen?
"No. No, nothing. I would recommend stepping away from the door because I am about to use a very pointy bit of overkill."
He gets out the fucking godslayer knife and just starts gouging at the door.
[The hardwood splinters, and it's plain to see that the closet is not more than a foot in depth (and barely tall enough for Alex to curl around in. There's a pretty large wooden floor-thing under them, raised above the actual floor.) Alex yelps. The sound of a moving person echoes.] AAH GOD--Wow that's a sharp knife. Sorry, a piece of wood fell in my eye. I thought um. I got stabbed. Carry on.
hey um. hey guys. help. im um. [Sound of metal banging against wood] im stuck in this closet. anyone?
"Uh. Is there anything unusual about the closet?"
Well-- it-- I think it locks from the outside? Or at least I'm pretty sure it does, I can't really tell from in here. I guess it's kinda spacious?
"Okay well I can't teleport in which is weird. And I can't seem to get the lock open. Have you tried just... hitting it?"
Um, let me -- [Rustling fabric, limbs hitting against door] -- It's a little hard to get an angle... Ah, got it. [BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!] Anything happen?
hey um. hey guys. help. im um. [Sound of metal banging against wood] im stuck in this closet. anyone?
Hey- Hey, are you okay? That's a bad question. I'll help you out, alright? Just... give me a second.
Oh thank god. Um, I'm not sure exactly how this thing opens... I'm pretty sure it locks from the outside? I dunno. The other few I got stuck in all had varying levels of lockage.
hey um. hey guys. help. im um. [Sound of metal banging against wood] im stuck in this closet. anyone?
"Uh. Is there anything unusual about the closet?"
Well-- it-- I think it locks from the outside? Or at least I'm pretty sure it does, I can't really tell from in here. I guess it's kinda spacious?
hey um. hey guys. help. im um. [Sound of metal banging against wood] im stuck in this closet. anyone?
A short skinny man suddenly pops into existence in a shower of sparkles in front of a probably very confused Alex. If they've watched any Star Trek they might recognize his uniform as being a Starfleet engineering uniform. He is also quite confused.
@starfleet-oshc
AH
[Alex tumbles back over the ABMIS's command chair in surprise; they'd been chilling out and flying around to see cool and interesting places before they were interrupted. Her metal and plastic parts make a clatter on the floor when she falls, echoing around the large, open space of what is clearly some sort of bridge; even though it's sparsely decorated and only features one chair, the multitude of flatscreens, control yoke, and slowly-raising panels of controls, dials, and readouts make the room's intended purpose quite clear. Machinery and engines rumble away the silence that'd normally be heard at the scandalous height Alex has been flying at.]
Ow, shit. You know, it's usually considered polite to knock. [Alex pokes her head over the command chair as some of her control cables slither back into it due to proximity limitations.] Wait. Who are you?
-- @starfleet-oshc --
Armine turns to see a person with cables going into their body, plugged into and surrounded by machinery and briefly panics.
"Oh fuck, oh shit, oh Great Bird of the Galaxy, how did I get on a Borg ship?"
Almost reflexively he draws his phaser, set to kill, and trains it on Alex. He fires once, narrowly missing Alex and burning a hole in a nearby screen.
Eep! [Alex dodge-rolls to the side, taking cover behind a console that recently whirred out of the ground. They clench and unclench their fist, drawing some metamaterials into it to make a small holdout pistol.] What the fuck is a Borg? God, you teleporters and property damage- You are on the ABMIS, approximately ninety-thousand feet above sea level: the hell do you want with me???
"...Oh. You're not Borg, then?"
He immediately holsters his phaser and holds his hands up to show he's done shooting.
"Uh. Sorry about that. The Borg are, well, a long story but I am very sorry for trying to shoot you. Where are we ninety-thousand feet above, exactly?"
[Peeking their head (and weird-ass eyes) over the back of the console, Alex tentatively un-guns their gun back into materials.] ...Earth, vaguely speaking. Defining features from your place of origin? We do buses here. Mostly. I'm kind of a go-between. Also is "Borg", like... a shortened version of "cyborg"? Or is that just kind of a coincidence?
"Well, that's a hypothesis some have put forward but we're not exactly sure. But they are cyborgs, yes." Armine nods.
"Anyway, I'm actually not from Earth, though I have been staying there at a place called OSHA for a bit. I was supposed to appear inside the cafeteria there but it seems I still haven't been able to account for the weirdness there."
He takes a cautious step forward and reaches out his hand for a handshake.
"Armine Thel, Lieutenant Commander, head liaison for Starfleet's Operational Health and Safety Command."
[Alex slowly stops crouching and shakes Armine's hand.] Aaaalright. Well, welcome to the ABMIS "Hallowed Ground", I'm Alex. One and only ABMIS operator in this world, actually. Uh, I can get you to the cafeteria pretty quickly, if you want..? What's the occasion- Mike ask you for something?
"I was just wanting a burrito, and decided to try testing my new transporter to get there. Apparently the exotic matter fields surrounding OSHA are a bit harder to compensate than I gave credit for."
Armine glances around the interior of the craft.
"What is an ABMIS, by the way? Is this warp-capable?"
[Alex scratches the back of their head.] Ah... the acronym is weird and largely unimportant. Think AWACS - Airborne Warning And Control System - but much bigger, and more privatized. And, uhhh... can't teleport it, no? Fastest that I've gotten is I believe Mach 5 or 6, though theoretically there've been signs of this class of vehicle in geostationary orbit, so in theory we might be able to get newer ABMIS-type aircraft faster and faster until we reach more of a Spaceborne than Airborne designation.
[After a second of contemplation, their face lights up.] Oh! I think I've got some burritos stocked, actually. Wanna talk technical specs while we head to the kitchen? It'll only be a quick walk, and I'm curious as to what level of technology you're at.
"Sure, that would be great!" He's still looking around, almost like he's trying really hard not to do an inspection," Based on the fact that you don't seem to know what 'warp-capable' means I'm assuming your society doesn't yet have access to faster-than-light travel?"
I, uh... I'm pretty sure we don't. OSHA might, but here it's more of a case-by-case basis. Here, follow me- it's like, about seventy meters away and a floor down. Really have to move it closer to the cockpit at some point, but... eh.
[Alex starts off at a clip towards one of a few decently-sized doors, the dimly-lit-but-well-cleaned atmosphere continuing into the corridors they walk through. While no exposed piping or wires immediately present themselves, the whole vessel almost seems to be moving as Alex does; the walls do not pulsate, but the rumbling and occasional almost-sloshing echoing through the ship sort of make it feel like a living organism. On Alex's back is a dark plastic circle with dim LEDs and assorted machinery haphazardly installed around a mechanical spinal cord and some strange boxes.] Anyways, in atmosphere FTL's probably not the best idea. We've discovered limited methods of dealing with air heating, but nothing that'd help on that scale just about yet.
"Oh, yes, of course. I would never suggest trying to go to warp in-atmosphere."
Armine follows, trying to be polite but still finding his eyes drawn to Alex's implants, now more in curiosity this time.
"If I may ask, how did you come to acquire such extensive implantations?"
Ah, uh. Well, that's a company thing. Mostly. Memories are still hazy, being honest? Not entirely certain. [The lights in their implant cavity blink on and off.] I dunno. What's that gun you were trying to shoot me with? How does that work?
Armine nods to the phaser still securely clipped to his belt. "This?"
Slowly, he unclips the safety strap, takes out the phaser and holds it up. "This here is a phaser, a specialized particle beam device."
He turns it sideways and points to the panel on the top. Upon actually getting to look at it, Alex can see that it's shaped more like a remote control than a gun.
"At the top here is the controls, allowing me to set the phaser's intensity. When fired, it generates a confined particle beam that, when filtered through the emitter here on the front,"
He turns the phaser slightly so Alex can see the emitter without pointing it directly at her, "...emits a beam of nadion particles, a sort of exotic particle that produces heat and at higher intensity disrupts atomic bonds."
He turns it back to show the control panel again, "Unlike a disruptor, which basically turns its target to dust, the phaser's confined beam and variable intensity allow it to serve more utilitarian and nonlethal purposes, such as heating, cutting, and, if necessary, stunning personnel, though it does remain capable of killing or injuring living creatures and so must be handled with care even when not set to 'kill' as per Starfleet reg- er, I'm slipping into OSHC mode again, aren't I?"
[Alex looks over, clearly intrigued. Their eyes search the phaser minutely.] Oh, don't worry, it's kind of a refreshing change of pace- neat! Yeah, we've only kind of gotten directed energy weapons here... I've got this really fuckoff large laser as a hull weapon here on the ABMIS, but it's really not particularly scalpel-like. What's the deal with Starfleet?
Armine almost seems to twitch for a second, like he's only just managed to contain another, much more enthusiastic infodump. Instead he gives a more muted account.
"Starfleet is an exploratory spaceflight organization under the authority of the United Federation of Planets, an interstellar democratic confederal socialist republic consisting of hundred of planets and well as numerous colonies, protectorates, and non-member associate worlds. Starfleet sort of acts as a navy, coast guard, exploratory corps, and we also handle a lot of diplomacy, scientific research and emergency aid, both foreign and domestic. I'm a Lieutenant Commander," He gestures to the small circular pins on his collar: two gold, one black.
"I'm actually in charge of the Operational Safety and Health Command, which is analogous to OSHA on 21st-century Earth, but with authority restricted specifically to Starfleet. As you might guess, trying to make an entire corps of space explorers follow a massive multi-volume set of safety rules is. Stressful."
Oh, interesting! Nice rank, I can definitely imagine that safety in space is... oof. We've got, uh, well... I won't get into it right now. [Alex's look sours, and they look back at the hallway.] I'd be down to hear more about what shenanigans you've gotta go through at some point. Plus, if you ever want to study some potentially weird tech, I'm right here. Er, the ship is right here. Anyways: Two lefts and we're at the kitchen. What do you like on your burritos?
"I'm honestly still new to earth cuisine, so I mostly just eat whatever Mike puts in front of me."
Armine pauses for a moment.
"Oh! Right, as long as there's no tomatoes or chocolate. I'm allergic to tomatoes and chocolate makes me queasy."
Sure, sure. [Alex rounds a corner and enters one of the most kitchens ever: a small, tiled room with a few appliances and a shitty hanging ceiling light. They rummage around in the microwave and pull out a burrito on a plate, putting it on a nearby counter before searching the fridge for mac and cheese.]
[No dice. They sigh, pulling up a chair for Armine as well.] Dig in, I thought I'd kept another plate of mac and cheese.
A short skinny man suddenly pops into existence in a shower of sparkles in front of a probably very confused Alex. If they've watched any Star Trek they might recognize his uniform as being a Starfleet engineering uniform. He is also quite confused.
@starfleet-oshc
AH
[Alex tumbles back over the ABMIS's command chair in surprise; they'd been chilling out and flying around to see cool and interesting places before they were interrupted. Her metal and plastic parts make a clatter on the floor when she falls, echoing around the large, open space of what is clearly some sort of bridge; even though it's sparsely decorated and only features one chair, the multitude of flatscreens, control yoke, and slowly-raising panels of controls, dials, and readouts make the room's intended purpose quite clear. Machinery and engines rumble away the silence that'd normally be heard at the scandalous height Alex has been flying at.]
Ow, shit. You know, it's usually considered polite to knock. [Alex pokes her head over the command chair as some of her control cables slither back into it due to proximity limitations.] Wait. Who are you?
-- @starfleet-oshc --
Armine turns to see a person with cables going into their body, plugged into and surrounded by machinery and briefly panics.
"Oh fuck, oh shit, oh Great Bird of the Galaxy, how did I get on a Borg ship?"
Almost reflexively he draws his phaser, set to kill, and trains it on Alex. He fires once, narrowly missing Alex and burning a hole in a nearby screen.
Eep! [Alex dodge-rolls to the side, taking cover behind a console that recently whirred out of the ground. They clench and unclench their fist, drawing some metamaterials into it to make a small holdout pistol.] What the fuck is a Borg? God, you teleporters and property damage- You are on the ABMIS, approximately ninety-thousand feet above sea level: the hell do you want with me???
"...Oh. You're not Borg, then?"
He immediately holsters his phaser and holds his hands up to show he's done shooting.
"Uh. Sorry about that. The Borg are, well, a long story but I am very sorry for trying to shoot you. Where are we ninety-thousand feet above, exactly?"
[Peeking their head (and weird-ass eyes) over the back of the console, Alex tentatively un-guns their gun back into materials.] ...Earth, vaguely speaking. Defining features from your place of origin? We do buses here. Mostly. I'm kind of a go-between. Also is "Borg", like... a shortened version of "cyborg"? Or is that just kind of a coincidence?
"Well, that's a hypothesis some have put forward but we're not exactly sure. But they are cyborgs, yes." Armine nods.
"Anyway, I'm actually not from Earth, though I have been staying there at a place called OSHA for a bit. I was supposed to appear inside the cafeteria there but it seems I still haven't been able to account for the weirdness there."
He takes a cautious step forward and reaches out his hand for a handshake.
"Armine Thel, Lieutenant Commander, head liaison for Starfleet's Operational Health and Safety Command."
[Alex slowly stops crouching and shakes Armine's hand.] Aaaalright. Well, welcome to the ABMIS "Hallowed Ground", I'm Alex. One and only ABMIS operator in this world, actually. Uh, I can get you to the cafeteria pretty quickly, if you want..? What's the occasion- Mike ask you for something?
"I was just wanting a burrito, and decided to try testing my new transporter to get there. Apparently the exotic matter fields surrounding OSHA are a bit harder to compensate than I gave credit for."
Armine glances around the interior of the craft.
"What is an ABMIS, by the way? Is this warp-capable?"
[Alex scratches the back of their head.] Ah... the acronym is weird and largely unimportant. Think AWACS - Airborne Warning And Control System - but much bigger, and more privatized. And, uhhh... can't teleport it, no? Fastest that I've gotten is I believe Mach 5 or 6, though theoretically there've been signs of this class of vehicle in geostationary orbit, so in theory we might be able to get newer ABMIS-type aircraft faster and faster until we reach more of a Spaceborne than Airborne designation.
[After a second of contemplation, their face lights up.] Oh! I think I've got some burritos stocked, actually. Wanna talk technical specs while we head to the kitchen? It'll only be a quick walk, and I'm curious as to what level of technology you're at.
"Sure, that would be great!" He's still looking around, almost like he's trying really hard not to do an inspection," Based on the fact that you don't seem to know what 'warp-capable' means I'm assuming your society doesn't yet have access to faster-than-light travel?"
I, uh... I'm pretty sure we don't. OSHA might, but here it's more of a case-by-case basis. Here, follow me- it's like, about seventy meters away and a floor down. Really have to move it closer to the cockpit at some point, but... eh.
[Alex starts off at a clip towards one of a few decently-sized doors, the dimly-lit-but-well-cleaned atmosphere continuing into the corridors they walk through. While no exposed piping or wires immediately present themselves, the whole vessel almost seems to be moving as Alex does; the walls do not pulsate, but the rumbling and occasional almost-sloshing echoing through the ship sort of make it feel like a living organism. On Alex's back is a dark plastic circle with dim LEDs and assorted machinery haphazardly installed around a mechanical spinal cord and some strange boxes.] Anyways, in atmosphere FTL's probably not the best idea. We've discovered limited methods of dealing with air heating, but nothing that'd help on that scale just about yet.
"Oh, yes, of course. I would never suggest trying to go to warp in-atmosphere."
Armine follows, trying to be polite but still finding his eyes drawn to Alex's implants, now more in curiosity this time.
"If I may ask, how did you come to acquire such extensive implantations?"
Ah, uh. Well, that's a company thing. Mostly. Memories are still hazy, being honest? Not entirely certain. [The lights in their implant cavity blink on and off.] I dunno. What's that gun you were trying to shoot me with? How does that work?
Armine nods to the phaser still securely clipped to his belt. "This?"
Slowly, he unclips the safety strap, takes out the phaser and holds it up. "This here is a phaser, a specialized particle beam device."
He turns it sideways and points to the panel on the top. Upon actually getting to look at it, Alex can see that it's shaped more like a remote control than a gun.
"At the top here is the controls, allowing me to set the phaser's intensity. When fired, it generates a confined particle beam that, when filtered through the emitter here on the front,"
He turns the phaser slightly so Alex can see the emitter without pointing it directly at her, "...emits a beam of nadion particles, a sort of exotic particle that produces heat and at higher intensity disrupts atomic bonds."
He turns it back to show the control panel again, "Unlike a disruptor, which basically turns its target to dust, the phaser's confined beam and variable intensity allow it to serve more utilitarian and nonlethal purposes, such as heating, cutting, and, if necessary, stunning personnel, though it does remain capable of killing or injuring living creatures and so must be handled with care even when not set to 'kill' as per Starfleet reg- er, I'm slipping into OSHC mode again, aren't I?"
[Alex looks over, clearly intrigued. Their eyes search the phaser minutely.] Oh, don't worry, it's kind of a refreshing change of pace- neat! Yeah, we've only kind of gotten directed energy weapons here... I've got this really fuckoff large laser as a hull weapon here on the ABMIS, but it's really not particularly scalpel-like. What's the deal with Starfleet?
Armine almost seems to twitch for a second, like he's only just managed to contain another, much more enthusiastic infodump. Instead he gives a more muted account.
"Starfleet is an exploratory spaceflight organization under the authority of the United Federation of Planets, an interstellar democratic confederal socialist republic consisting of hundred of planets and well as numerous colonies, protectorates, and non-member associate worlds. Starfleet sort of acts as a navy, coast guard, exploratory corps, and we also handle a lot of diplomacy, scientific research and emergency aid, both foreign and domestic. I'm a Lieutenant Commander," He gestures to the small circular pins on his collar: two gold, one black.
"I'm actually in charge of the Operational Safety and Health Command, which is analogous to OSHA on 21st-century Earth, but with authority restricted specifically to Starfleet. As you might guess, trying to make an entire corps of space explorers follow a massive multi-volume set of safety rules is. Stressful."
Oh, interesting! Nice rank, I can definitely imagine that safety in space is... oof. We've got, uh, well... I won't get into it right now. [Alex's look sours, and they look back at the hallway.] I'd be down to hear more about what shenanigans you've gotta go through at some point. Plus, if you ever want to study some potentially weird tech, I'm right here. Er, the ship is right here. Anyways: Two lefts and we're at the kitchen. What do you like on your burritos?
A short skinny man suddenly pops into existence in a shower of sparkles in front of a probably very confused Alex. If they've watched any Star Trek they might recognize his uniform as being a Starfleet engineering uniform. He is also quite confused.
@starfleet-oshc
AH
[Alex tumbles back over the ABMIS's command chair in surprise; they'd been chilling out and flying around to see cool and interesting places before they were interrupted. Her metal and plastic parts make a clatter on the floor when she falls, echoing around the large, open space of what is clearly some sort of bridge; even though it's sparsely decorated and only features one chair, the multitude of flatscreens, control yoke, and slowly-raising panels of controls, dials, and readouts make the room's intended purpose quite clear. Machinery and engines rumble away the silence that'd normally be heard at the scandalous height Alex has been flying at.]
Ow, shit. You know, it's usually considered polite to knock. [Alex pokes her head over the command chair as some of her control cables slither back into it due to proximity limitations.] Wait. Who are you?
-- @starfleet-oshc --
Armine turns to see a person with cables going into their body, plugged into and surrounded by machinery and briefly panics.
"Oh fuck, oh shit, oh Great Bird of the Galaxy, how did I get on a Borg ship?"
Almost reflexively he draws his phaser, set to kill, and trains it on Alex. He fires once, narrowly missing Alex and burning a hole in a nearby screen.
Eep! [Alex dodge-rolls to the side, taking cover behind a console that recently whirred out of the ground. They clench and unclench their fist, drawing some metamaterials into it to make a small holdout pistol.] What the fuck is a Borg? God, you teleporters and property damage- You are on the ABMIS, approximately ninety-thousand feet above sea level: the hell do you want with me???
"...Oh. You're not Borg, then?"
He immediately holsters his phaser and holds his hands up to show he's done shooting.
"Uh. Sorry about that. The Borg are, well, a long story but I am very sorry for trying to shoot you. Where are we ninety-thousand feet above, exactly?"
[Peeking their head (and weird-ass eyes) over the back of the console, Alex tentatively un-guns their gun back into materials.] ...Earth, vaguely speaking. Defining features from your place of origin? We do buses here. Mostly. I'm kind of a go-between. Also is "Borg", like... a shortened version of "cyborg"? Or is that just kind of a coincidence?
"Well, that's a hypothesis some have put forward but we're not exactly sure. But they are cyborgs, yes." Armine nods.
"Anyway, I'm actually not from Earth, though I have been staying there at a place called OSHA for a bit. I was supposed to appear inside the cafeteria there but it seems I still haven't been able to account for the weirdness there."
He takes a cautious step forward and reaches out his hand for a handshake.
"Armine Thel, Lieutenant Commander, head liaison for Starfleet's Operational Health and Safety Command."
[Alex slowly stops crouching and shakes Armine's hand.] Aaaalright. Well, welcome to the ABMIS "Hallowed Ground", I'm Alex. One and only ABMIS operator in this world, actually. Uh, I can get you to the cafeteria pretty quickly, if you want..? What's the occasion- Mike ask you for something?
"I was just wanting a burrito, and decided to try testing my new transporter to get there. Apparently the exotic matter fields surrounding OSHA are a bit harder to compensate than I gave credit for."
Armine glances around the interior of the craft.
"What is an ABMIS, by the way? Is this warp-capable?"
[Alex scratches the back of their head.] Ah... the acronym is weird and largely unimportant. Think AWACS - Airborne Warning And Control System - but much bigger, and more privatized. And, uhhh... can't teleport it, no? Fastest that I've gotten is I believe Mach 5 or 6, though theoretically there've been signs of this class of vehicle in geostationary orbit, so in theory we might be able to get newer ABMIS-type aircraft faster and faster until we reach more of a Spaceborne than Airborne designation.
[After a second of contemplation, their face lights up.] Oh! I think I've got some burritos stocked, actually. Wanna talk technical specs while we head to the kitchen? It'll only be a quick walk, and I'm curious as to what level of technology you're at.
"Sure, that would be great!" He's still looking around, almost like he's trying really hard not to do an inspection," Based on the fact that you don't seem to know what 'warp-capable' means I'm assuming your society doesn't yet have access to faster-than-light travel?"
I, uh... I'm pretty sure we don't. OSHA might, but here it's more of a case-by-case basis. Here, follow me- it's like, about seventy meters away and a floor down. Really have to move it closer to the cockpit at some point, but... eh.
[Alex starts off at a clip towards one of a few decently-sized doors, the dimly-lit-but-well-cleaned atmosphere continuing into the corridors they walk through. While no exposed piping or wires immediately present themselves, the whole vessel almost seems to be moving as Alex does; the walls do not pulsate, but the rumbling and occasional almost-sloshing echoing through the ship sort of make it feel like a living organism. On Alex's back is a dark plastic circle with dim LEDs and assorted machinery haphazardly installed around a mechanical spinal cord and some strange boxes.] Anyways, in atmosphere FTL's probably not the best idea. We've discovered limited methods of dealing with air heating, but nothing that'd help on that scale just about yet.
"Oh, yes, of course. I would never suggest trying to go to warp in-atmosphere."
Armine follows, trying to be polite but still finding his eyes drawn to Alex's implants, now more in curiosity this time.
"If I may ask, how did you come to acquire such extensive implantations?"
Ah, uh. Well, that's a company thing. Mostly. Memories are still hazy, being honest? Not entirely certain. [The lights in their implant cavity blink on and off.] I dunno. What's that gun you were trying to shoot me with? How does that work?
Armine nods to the phaser still securely clipped to his belt. "This?"
Slowly, he unclips the safety strap, takes out the phaser and holds it up. "This here is a phaser, a specialized particle beam device."
He turns it sideways and points to the panel on the top. Upon actually getting to look at it, Alex can see that it's shaped more like a remote control than a gun.
"At the top here is the controls, allowing me to set the phaser's intensity. When fired, it generates a confined particle beam that, when filtered through the emitter here on the front,"
He turns the phaser slightly so Alex can see the emitter without pointing it directly at her, "...emits a beam of nadion particles, a sort of exotic particle that produces heat and at higher intensity disrupts atomic bonds."
He turns it back to show the control panel again, "Unlike a disruptor, which basically turns its target to dust, the phaser's confined beam and variable intensity allow it to serve more utilitarian and nonlethal purposes, such as heating, cutting, and, if necessary, stunning personnel, though it does remain capable of killing or injuring living creatures and so must be handled with care even when not set to 'kill' as per Starfleet reg- er, I'm slipping into OSHC mode again, aren't I?"
[Alex looks over, clearly intrigued. Their eyes search the phaser minutely.] Oh, don't worry, it's kind of a refreshing change of pace- neat! Yeah, we've only kind of gotten directed energy weapons here... I've got this really fuckoff large laser as a hull weapon here on the ABMIS, but it's really not particularly scalpel-like. What's the deal with Starfleet?
A short skinny man suddenly pops into existence in a shower of sparkles in front of a probably very confused Alex. If they've watched any Star Trek they might recognize his uniform as being a Starfleet engineering uniform. He is also quite confused.
@starfleet-oshc
AH
[Alex tumbles back over the ABMIS's command chair in surprise; they'd been chilling out and flying around to see cool and interesting places before they were interrupted. Her metal and plastic parts make a clatter on the floor when she falls, echoing around the large, open space of what is clearly some sort of bridge; even though it's sparsely decorated and only features one chair, the multitude of flatscreens, control yoke, and slowly-raising panels of controls, dials, and readouts make the room's intended purpose quite clear. Machinery and engines rumble away the silence that'd normally be heard at the scandalous height Alex has been flying at.]
Ow, shit. You know, it's usually considered polite to knock. [Alex pokes her head over the command chair as some of her control cables slither back into it due to proximity limitations.] Wait. Who are you?
-- @starfleet-oshc --
Armine turns to see a person with cables going into their body, plugged into and surrounded by machinery and briefly panics.
"Oh fuck, oh shit, oh Great Bird of the Galaxy, how did I get on a Borg ship?"
Almost reflexively he draws his phaser, set to kill, and trains it on Alex. He fires once, narrowly missing Alex and burning a hole in a nearby screen.
Eep! [Alex dodge-rolls to the side, taking cover behind a console that recently whirred out of the ground. They clench and unclench their fist, drawing some metamaterials into it to make a small holdout pistol.] What the fuck is a Borg? God, you teleporters and property damage- You are on the ABMIS, approximately ninety-thousand feet above sea level: the hell do you want with me???
"...Oh. You're not Borg, then?"
He immediately holsters his phaser and holds his hands up to show he's done shooting.
"Uh. Sorry about that. The Borg are, well, a long story but I am very sorry for trying to shoot you. Where are we ninety-thousand feet above, exactly?"
[Peeking their head (and weird-ass eyes) over the back of the console, Alex tentatively un-guns their gun back into materials.] ...Earth, vaguely speaking. Defining features from your place of origin? We do buses here. Mostly. I'm kind of a go-between. Also is "Borg", like... a shortened version of "cyborg"? Or is that just kind of a coincidence?
"Well, that's a hypothesis some have put forward but we're not exactly sure. But they are cyborgs, yes." Armine nods.
"Anyway, I'm actually not from Earth, though I have been staying there at a place called OSHA for a bit. I was supposed to appear inside the cafeteria there but it seems I still haven't been able to account for the weirdness there."
He takes a cautious step forward and reaches out his hand for a handshake.
"Armine Thel, Lieutenant Commander, head liaison for Starfleet's Operational Health and Safety Command."
[Alex slowly stops crouching and shakes Armine's hand.] Aaaalright. Well, welcome to the ABMIS "Hallowed Ground", I'm Alex. One and only ABMIS operator in this world, actually. Uh, I can get you to the cafeteria pretty quickly, if you want..? What's the occasion- Mike ask you for something?
"I was just wanting a burrito, and decided to try testing my new transporter to get there. Apparently the exotic matter fields surrounding OSHA are a bit harder to compensate than I gave credit for."
Armine glances around the interior of the craft.
"What is an ABMIS, by the way? Is this warp-capable?"
[Alex scratches the back of their head.] Ah... the acronym is weird and largely unimportant. Think AWACS - Airborne Warning And Control System - but much bigger, and more privatized. And, uhhh... can't teleport it, no? Fastest that I've gotten is I believe Mach 5 or 6, though theoretically there've been signs of this class of vehicle in geostationary orbit, so in theory we might be able to get newer ABMIS-type aircraft faster and faster until we reach more of a Spaceborne than Airborne designation.
[After a second of contemplation, their face lights up.] Oh! I think I've got some burritos stocked, actually. Wanna talk technical specs while we head to the kitchen? It'll only be a quick walk, and I'm curious as to what level of technology you're at.
"Sure, that would be great!" He's still looking around, almost like he's trying really hard not to do an inspection," Based on the fact that you don't seem to know what 'warp-capable' means I'm assuming your society doesn't yet have access to faster-than-light travel?"
I, uh... I'm pretty sure we don't. OSHA might, but here it's more of a case-by-case basis. Here, follow me- it's like, about seventy meters away and a floor down. Really have to move it closer to the cockpit at some point, but... eh.
[Alex starts off at a clip towards one of a few decently-sized doors, the dimly-lit-but-well-cleaned atmosphere continuing into the corridors they walk through. While no exposed piping or wires immediately present themselves, the whole vessel almost seems to be moving as Alex does; the walls do not pulsate, but the rumbling and occasional almost-sloshing echoing through the ship sort of make it feel like a living organism. On Alex's back is a dark plastic circle with dim LEDs and assorted machinery haphazardly installed around a mechanical spinal cord and some strange boxes.] Anyways, in atmosphere FTL's probably not the best idea. We've discovered limited methods of dealing with air heating, but nothing that'd help on that scale just about yet.
"Oh, yes, of course. I would never suggest trying to go to warp in-atmosphere."
Armine follows, trying to be polite but still finding his eyes drawn to Alex's implants, now more in curiosity this time.
"If I may ask, how did you come to acquire such extensive implantations?"
Ah, uh. Well, that's a company thing. Mostly. Memories are still hazy, being honest? Not entirely certain. [The lights in their implant cavity blink on and off.] I dunno. What's that gun you were trying to shoot me with? How does that work?
A short skinny man suddenly pops into existence in a shower of sparkles in front of a probably very confused Alex. If they've watched any Star Trek they might recognize his uniform as being a Starfleet engineering uniform. He is also quite confused.
@starfleet-oshc
AH
[Alex tumbles back over the ABMIS's command chair in surprise; they'd been chilling out and flying around to see cool and interesting places before they were interrupted. Her metal and plastic parts make a clatter on the floor when she falls, echoing around the large, open space of what is clearly some sort of bridge; even though it's sparsely decorated and only features one chair, the multitude of flatscreens, control yoke, and slowly-raising panels of controls, dials, and readouts make the room's intended purpose quite clear. Machinery and engines rumble away the silence that'd normally be heard at the scandalous height Alex has been flying at.]
Ow, shit. You know, it's usually considered polite to knock. [Alex pokes her head over the command chair as some of her control cables slither back into it due to proximity limitations.] Wait. Who are you?
-- @starfleet-oshc --
Armine turns to see a person with cables going into their body, plugged into and surrounded by machinery and briefly panics.
"Oh fuck, oh shit, oh Great Bird of the Galaxy, how did I get on a Borg ship?"
Almost reflexively he draws his phaser, set to kill, and trains it on Alex. He fires once, narrowly missing Alex and burning a hole in a nearby screen.
Eep! [Alex dodge-rolls to the side, taking cover behind a console that recently whirred out of the ground. They clench and unclench their fist, drawing some metamaterials into it to make a small holdout pistol.] What the fuck is a Borg? God, you teleporters and property damage- You are on the ABMIS, approximately ninety-thousand feet above sea level: the hell do you want with me???
"...Oh. You're not Borg, then?"
He immediately holsters his phaser and holds his hands up to show he's done shooting.
"Uh. Sorry about that. The Borg are, well, a long story but I am very sorry for trying to shoot you. Where are we ninety-thousand feet above, exactly?"
[Peeking their head (and weird-ass eyes) over the back of the console, Alex tentatively un-guns their gun back into materials.] ...Earth, vaguely speaking. Defining features from your place of origin? We do buses here. Mostly. I'm kind of a go-between. Also is "Borg", like... a shortened version of "cyborg"? Or is that just kind of a coincidence?
"Well, that's a hypothesis some have put forward but we're not exactly sure. But they are cyborgs, yes." Armine nods.
"Anyway, I'm actually not from Earth, though I have been staying there at a place called OSHA for a bit. I was supposed to appear inside the cafeteria there but it seems I still haven't been able to account for the weirdness there."
He takes a cautious step forward and reaches out his hand for a handshake.
"Armine Thel, Lieutenant Commander, head liaison for Starfleet's Operational Health and Safety Command."
[Alex slowly stops crouching and shakes Armine's hand.] Aaaalright. Well, welcome to the ABMIS "Hallowed Ground", I'm Alex. One and only ABMIS operator in this world, actually. Uh, I can get you to the cafeteria pretty quickly, if you want..? What's the occasion- Mike ask you for something?
"I was just wanting a burrito, and decided to try testing my new transporter to get there. Apparently the exotic matter fields surrounding OSHA are a bit harder to compensate than I gave credit for."
Armine glances around the interior of the craft.
"What is an ABMIS, by the way? Is this warp-capable?"
[Alex scratches the back of their head.] Ah... the acronym is weird and largely unimportant. Think AWACS - Airborne Warning And Control System - but much bigger, and more privatized. And, uhhh... can't teleport it, no? Fastest that I've gotten is I believe Mach 5 or 6, though theoretically there've been signs of this class of vehicle in geostationary orbit, so in theory we might be able to get newer ABMIS-type aircraft faster and faster until we reach more of a Spaceborne than Airborne designation.
[After a second of contemplation, their face lights up.] Oh! I think I've got some burritos stocked, actually. Wanna talk technical specs while we head to the kitchen? It'll only be a quick walk, and I'm curious as to what level of technology you're at.
"Sure, that would be great!" He's still looking around, almost like he's trying really hard not to do an inspection," Based on the fact that you don't seem to know what 'warp-capable' means I'm assuming your society doesn't yet have access to faster-than-light travel?"
I, uh... I'm pretty sure we don't. OSHA might, but here it's more of a case-by-case basis. Here, follow me- it's like, about seventy meters away and a floor down. Really have to move it closer to the cockpit at some point, but... eh.
[Alex starts off at a clip towards one of a few decently-sized doors, the dimly-lit-but-well-cleaned atmosphere continuing into the corridors they walk through. While no exposed piping or wires immediately present themselves, the whole vessel almost seems to be moving as Alex does; the walls do not pulsate, but the rumbling and occasional almost-sloshing echoing through the ship sort of make it feel like a living organism. On Alex's back is a dark plastic circle with dim LEDs and assorted machinery haphazardly installed around a mechanical spinal cord and some strange boxes inside their body.] Anyways, in atmosphere FTL's probably not the best idea. We've discovered limited methods of dealing with air heating, but nothing that'd help on that scale just about yet.
A short skinny man suddenly pops into existence in a shower of sparkles in front of a probably very confused Alex. If they've watched any Star Trek they might recognize his uniform as being a Starfleet engineering uniform. He is also quite confused.
@starfleet-oshc
AH
[Alex tumbles back over the ABMIS's command chair in surprise; they'd been chilling out and flying around to see cool and interesting places before they were interrupted. Her metal and plastic parts make a clatter on the floor when she falls, echoing around the large, open space of what is clearly some sort of bridge; even though it's sparsely decorated and only features one chair, the multitude of flatscreens, control yoke, and slowly-raising panels of controls, dials, and readouts make the room's intended purpose quite clear. Machinery and engines rumble away the silence that'd normally be heard at the scandalous height Alex has been flying at.]
Ow, shit. You know, it's usually considered polite to knock. [Alex pokes her head over the command chair as some of her control cables slither back into it due to proximity limitations.] Wait. Who are you?
-- @starfleet-oshc --
Armine turns to see a person with cables going into their body, plugged into and surrounded by machinery and briefly panics.
"Oh fuck, oh shit, oh Great Bird of the Galaxy, how did I get on a Borg ship?"
Almost reflexively he draws his phaser, set to kill, and trains it on Alex. He fires once, narrowly missing Alex and burning a hole in a nearby screen.
Eep! [Alex dodge-rolls to the side, taking cover behind a console that recently whirred out of the ground. They clench and unclench their fist, drawing some metamaterials into it to make a small holdout pistol.] What the fuck is a Borg? God, you teleporters and property damage- You are on the ABMIS, approximately ninety-thousand feet above sea level: the hell do you want with me???
"...Oh. You're not Borg, then?"
He immediately holsters his phaser and holds his hands up to show he's done shooting.
"Uh. Sorry about that. The Borg are, well, a long story but I am very sorry for trying to shoot you. Where are we ninety-thousand feet above, exactly?"
[Peeking their head (and weird-ass eyes) over the back of the console, Alex tentatively un-guns their gun back into materials.] ...Earth, vaguely speaking. Defining features from your place of origin? We do buses here. Mostly. I'm kind of a go-between. Also is "Borg", like... a shortened version of "cyborg"? Or is that just kind of a coincidence?
"Well, that's a hypothesis some have put forward but we're not exactly sure. But they are cyborgs, yes." Armine nods.
"Anyway, I'm actually not from Earth, though I have been staying there at a place called OSHA for a bit. I was supposed to appear inside the cafeteria there but it seems I still haven't been able to account for the weirdness there."
He takes a cautious step forward and reaches out his hand for a handshake.
"Armine Thel, Lieutenant Commander, head liaison for Starfleet's Operational Health and Safety Command."
[Alex slowly stops crouching and shakes Armine's hand.] Aaaalright. Well, welcome to the ABMIS "Hallowed Ground", I'm Alex. One and only ABMIS operator in this world, actually. Uh, I can get you to the cafeteria pretty quickly, if you want..? What's the occasion- Mike ask you for something?
"I was just wanting a burrito, and decided to try testing my new transporter to get there. Apparently the exotic matter fields surrounding OSHA are a bit harder to compensate than I gave credit for."
Armine glances around the interior of the craft.
"What is an ABMIS, by the way? Is this warp-capable?"
[Alex scratches the back of their head.] Ah... the acronym is weird and largely unimportant. Think AWACS - Airborne Warning And Control System - but much bigger, and more privatized. And, uhhh... can't teleport it, no? Fastest that I've gotten is I believe Mach 5 or 6, though theoretically there've been signs of this class of vehicle in geostationary orbit, so in theory we might be able to get newer ABMIS-type aircraft faster and faster until we reach more of a Spaceborne than Airborne designation.
[After a second of contemplation, their face lights up.] Oh! I think I've got some burritos stocked, actually. Wanna talk technical specs while we head to the kitchen? It'll only be a quick walk, and I'm curious as to what level of technology you're at.
A short skinny man suddenly pops into existence in a shower of sparkles in front of a probably very confused Alex. If they've watched any Star Trek they might recognize his uniform as being a Starfleet engineering uniform. He is also quite confused.
@starfleet-oshc
AH
[Alex tumbles back over the ABMIS's command chair in surprise; they'd been chilling out and flying around to see cool and interesting places before they were interrupted. Her metal and plastic parts make a clatter on the floor when she falls, echoing around the large, open space of what is clearly some sort of bridge; even though it's sparsely decorated and only features one chair, the multitude of flatscreens, control yoke, and slowly-raising panels of controls, dials, and readouts make the room's intended purpose quite clear. Machinery and engines rumble away the silence that'd normally be heard at the scandalous height Alex has been flying at.]
Ow, shit. You know, it's usually considered polite to knock. [Alex pokes her head over the command chair as some of her control cables slither back into it due to proximity limitations.] Wait. Who are you?
-- @starfleet-oshc --
Armine turns to see a person with cables going into their body, plugged into and surrounded by machinery and briefly panics.
"Oh fuck, oh shit, oh Great Bird of the Galaxy, how did I get on a Borg ship?"
Almost reflexively he draws his phaser, set to kill, and trains it on Alex. He fires once, narrowly missing Alex and burning a hole in a nearby screen.
Eep! [Alex dodge-rolls to the side, taking cover behind a console that recently whirred out of the ground. They clench and unclench their fist, drawing some metamaterials into it to make a small holdout pistol.] What the fuck is a Borg? God, you teleporters and property damage- You are on the ABMIS, approximately ninety-thousand feet above sea level: the hell do you want with me???
"...Oh. You're not Borg, then?"
He immediately holsters his phaser and holds his hands up to show he's done shooting.
"Uh. Sorry about that. The Borg are, well, a long story but I am very sorry for trying to shoot you. Where are we ninety-thousand feet above, exactly?"
[Peeking their head (and weird-ass eyes) over the back of the console, Alex tentatively un-guns their gun back into materials.] ...Earth, vaguely speaking. Defining features from your place of origin? We do buses here. Mostly. I'm kind of a go-between. Also is "Borg", like... a shortened version of "cyborg"? Or is that just kind of a coincidence?
"Well, that's a hypothesis some have put forward but we're not exactly sure. But they are cyborgs, yes." Armine nods.
"Anyway, I'm actually not from Earth, though I have been staying there at a place called OSHA for a bit. I was supposed to appear inside the cafeteria there but it seems I still haven't been able to account for the weirdness there."
He takes a cautious step forward and reaches out his hand for a handshake.
"Armine Thel, Lieutenant Commander, head liaison for Starfleet's Operational Health and Safety Command."
[Alex slowly stops crouching and shakes Armine's hand.] Aaaalright. Well, welcome to the ABMIS "Hallowed Ground", I'm Alex. One and only ABMIS operator in this world, actually. Uh, I can get you to the cafeteria pretty quickly, if you want..? What's the occasion- Mike ask you for something?
A short skinny man suddenly pops into existence in a shower of sparkles in front of a probably very confused Alex. If they've watched any Star Trek they might recognize his uniform as being a Starfleet engineering uniform. He is also quite confused.
@starfleet-oshc
AH
[Alex tumbles back over the ABMIS's command chair in surprise; they'd been chilling out and flying around to see cool and interesting places before they were interrupted. Her metal and plastic parts make a clatter on the floor when she falls, echoing around the large, open space of what is clearly some sort of bridge; even though it's sparsely decorated and only features one chair, the multitude of flatscreens, control yoke, and slowly-raising panels of controls, dials, and readouts make the room's intended purpose quite clear. Machinery and engines rumble away the silence that'd normally be heard at the scandalous height Alex has been flying at.]
Ow, shit. You know, it's usually considered polite to knock. [Alex pokes her head over the command chair as some of her control cables slither back into it due to proximity limitations.] Wait. Who are you?
-- @starfleet-oshc --
Armine turns to see a person with cables going into their body, plugged into and surrounded by machinery and briefly panics.
"Oh fuck, oh shit, oh Great Bird of the Galaxy, how did I get on a Borg ship?"
Almost reflexively he draws his phaser, set to kill, and trains it on Alex. He fires once, narrowly missing Alex and burning a hole in a nearby screen.
Eep! [Alex dodge-rolls to the side, taking cover behind a console that recently whirred out of the ground. They clench and unclench their fist, drawing some metamaterials into it to make a small holdout pistol.] What the fuck is a Borg? God, you teleporters and property damage- You are on the ABMIS, approximately ninety-thousand feet above sea level: the hell do you want with me???
"...Oh. You're not Borg, then?"
He immediately holsters his phaser and holds his hands up to show he's done shooting.
"Uh. Sorry about that. The Borg are, well, a long story but I am very sorry for trying to shoot you. Where are we ninety-thousand feet above, exactly?"
[Peeking their head (and weird-ass eyes) over the back of the console, Alex tentatively un-guns their gun back into materials.] ...Earth, vaguely speaking. Defining features from your place of origin? We do buses here. Mostly. I'm kind of a go-between. Also is "Borg", like... a shortened version of "cyborg"? Or is that just kind of a coincidence?
