everybody ate tonight. everyone understood their role perfectly. there were some things, but we just won a nail-biter of a game while being down for most of it.
i first of all wanna say prayers to odyssey and aziaha. hope they're okay.
call me a hater because i am one, but i struggle to find any joy in arike having a great game. bc i know for the next 3 games, it’s back to shooting 2-11. but anyways, today was a great game UNTIL the last couple minutes. idk what beef she was trying to start with wheeler, but it was lowkey just embarrassing for arike. like she was so… passionate about it and erica was just cheesin. and when she almost lost the ball… i will give props for the kinda smart, definitely intentional play following that tho.
maddy was clutchhhhh in the fourth. she’s just under appreciated imo. the ONLY complaint i have is when she sold what could have been paige’s 15th assist on an easy bucket.
jess had a ‘get back’ game as well. it seems to me like she hasn’t been passing as much tho idk if thats true.
alanna had an okay game. not up to her lynx standard, but better than what she’s been having.
paige bueckers, point guard, ladies and gentlemen. 18 points and FOURTEEN assists. and only ONE turnover. that’s crazy numbers man. im proud that she wanted to take over the game when it got close; she kept calling for the ball to go iso.
azzi was having a good game until the team didnt pass to her for like 9 minutes straight. i understand they were focused on feeding arike, but i do feel like there is a way to set everyone up, not just the player who chucks shit up and sometimes it goes it.
other notes:
i was impressed with LA today, they started out hot and didnt really stop. i thought this would be an easy W, but that game was every exciting. plum had a good comeback game, but it wasn’t enough
shemar moore 🙂↔️ and his daughter was so cute 🥰
im ngl (and you will never hear me say this again) but about halfway through the fourth, i was wondering why arike wasn’t in. it was a pretty close game and she had been hot, but maybe it was like a ‘punishment’ for getting into it with wheeler(?)
oh and since im a petty mf who loves a good stat padding, i will remember those blown assists (arike, jess, and maddy)
journalist!azzi fudd x ret. athlete/celebrity!paige bueckers
summary: azzi is given the opportunity to do a piece on paige as part of press for her upcoming documentary. paige is a retired olympic gold medalist and wnba champion, her career coming to an end after a serious injury. the now frequent party goer and recluse falls head over heels for fudd, the no-bullshit journalist with a good head on her shoulders and razor focus… as well as a will of steel and intense sense of professionalism.
a/n: written at ~2am in an er lobby, abandoned for months, revisited recently while clearing out drafts. not proofread. wanted to try and get back into writing after a long hiatus lmao. the ending was lwk rushed sorry
paige’s mornings for the past three years have been damn near the same: wake up then piece together whatever the hell it had been that she’d done the night before which usually led to her pr agent talking her ear off about the possible hit to her brand and image. she felt lucky that it was 2026 and not 2006, she could only imagine how much worse the gossip and celebrity news reporting sites would be.
not that she considered herself some super world famous a-lister, but she couldn’t deny that she was known. she’d be lucky to go a day without hearing ‘paige, paige, paige! oh my god, it’s paige bueckers!’ she appreciated her fans of course, but feeling the need to please on her off days was tiring.
paige sat up in bed, her blonde, wavy strands falling into her face. she massaged her scalp, checking her reflection on her phone screen. she really needed to touch her roots up, she thought. she sniffled and tossed her phone aside. she was sure there were messages she should open, but she couldn’t be bothered. she swung her legs over the edge of the mattress and made her way to the bathroom for a shower.
azzi checked the time on her watch as turned the corner into her cubicle. she arrived 15 minutes early, she always did. she sat down in her seat, setting the purse into her drawer, and powered on her computer.
she immediately went to check her emails. she scanned the titles briefly, deciding to start with emails from her boss first, then moving on to outsider inquiries. one of the emails read: ‘URGENT: bueckers exclusive.’ azzi opened it, checking to see if the message had been cc’d to everyone or just her. it was just her.
my name is jennifer from 5 star entertainment, i hope this email finds you well. i’m reaching out with a business inquiry that i think you may appreciate. we would like to extend you an offer to put out a paige bueckers exclusive as part of promotion for her upcoming documentary. let me know if you’re interested.
sincerely,
jennifer roch
pr manager
end email.
azzi reread the email three times. paige bueckers exclusive?
she leaned back in her chair, her fingers tapping idly against the edge of her desk as she considered the proposal. if this goes well, she might get her big break. what if this allows her to get her name out there and give her the opportunities to take on her own stories? she quickly typed out an email, proofread it four times, then sent it. she took a deep breath and nodded to herself. this could be huge.
paige was slumped in her seat during brunch with her manager, dark glasses low on her nose and practically drowning in a dark hoodie in an effort to be discreet. she listened to her manager drone on about press tours, photoshoots, and her documentary premiere. her fingers played with the stick in her coffee, stirring it lazily just to keep her hands busy.
“you’re booked for tomorrow.”
“tomorrow?”
“yes. i set up an exclusive for you to do. it’ll be good press. you haven’t interacted much with the public in years.”
“with who?” paige asked. she didn’t care much for the lecture on being an ‘asocial celebrity.’ she wasn’t hiding from anyone, she just didn’t want to talk.
“the scoop.”
“shit, you know i hate the scoop,” she complained, scrubbing her face with her free hand. “they put those pictures out, right? i don’t want to do it with them.” she sat up straighter to face jennifer. jennifer had her hands folded on the table and her leg crossed over the other. she was a sharp woman, making sure to keep paige on a tight leash. she was also quick to get ahead of controversies and clean up her messes. she was a lawyer turned pr agent, her specialty was crisis management and paige was a walking crisis herself.
“love them or hate them, that’s fine. you don’t have to be best friends with them, but you do have to do this interview. you’re running out of options. you’ve burned bridges with more than half hollywood. this is the least you could do.”
unfortunately, paige knew she was right. she’d burned too many bridges to count and she needed the good press. she chewed the inside of her cheek, already planning out safe responses in her head. she wished she was told at least a week in advance, but she just had to suck it up and deal with it.
azzi was waiting in the studio at around 10:00am. her leg bounced under the table as she set up her laptop and notepad. she was feeling restless, completely unable to stop her mind from playing out all the ways this could go wrong. she scratched out and rewrote probably around a hundred questions. she wanted to make sure they were good, not just boring, surface level questions that someone could probably ask her in one of those instagram q&a’s. she wanted to get into the nitty gritty. she wanted the good, the bad, and everything else in between.
but when paige walked through the door, she swallowed hard. she forced herself to stand, extending her arm out for a handshake. “hi, miss bueckers. i’m azzi. i’ll be the one chatting with you this morning,” she said warmly. she always thought that a friendlier approach was better than a cold, mechanical one.
paige looked her over and gave her a nod. “you can just call me paige. no need for the formalities.” she took her hand and gave it a firm shake, but deep down, paige was thinking holy shit. azzi’s hand was soft, a faint coconut scent lingered on paige’s hand after azzi pulled her hand away. was that lotion? had to be. she smelled amazing.
“okay, paige. you ready to get started?” azzi asked, taking a seat and gesturing towards the other end of the couch for paige to sit. she picked up her notepad and set it down on her lap, folding her hands over the bottom of the page. paige’s eyes drifted down to her nails as she took a seat.
“pink is your color.”
azzi smiled politely, “thank you.”
paige nodded, leaning back against the cushions and folding her arms over her chest. she had her guard up, that much was obvious. she was manspreading, making herself bigger whether it was a conscious choice or not. if she made herself bigger, then nobody could make her feel small. azzi wouldn’t do that though, she wasn’t that type of person. azzi sat with her knees touching and her back straight, doing her very best to come off as professional. she didn’t need to try very hard, she was amazing at what she did. but when she had a big shot like paige in front of her, she felt like she needed prove herself just a little bit more.
it felt like a game of push and pull. azzi would push for an answer, not predatory by any means, but she was determined in her work. paige would give her an inch and pull back, putting her walls up again. she was quick to close the curtain after giving azzi a glimpse behind it. people knew the public facing paige bueckers, but nobody knew paige. she had been lost in her thoughts til azzi’s voice pulled her out of them. she turned her head to look at her, clearing her throat before stammering out quietly, “um, yeah, yeah. what were you saying? sorry.”
“oh. no problem, you’re good,” azzi reassured her, putting her hands up for emphasis. “i was asking how your relationship with your body changed following the accident. you cover that in your documentary, right?”
paige nodded slowly before taking a sip of her water to stall as she considered the question. “it’s changed. you know, expecting others to let you down is one thing. being prepared to be let down is one thing, but your own body? let alone unexpectedly? it’s fucking hard.” her fingers traced the rim of the glass, eyes pointed towards the table but she wasn’t staring at anything in particular. “can i cuss? sorry.”
“no, no, no need to apologize. i can redact it in post anyway,” azzi said with a light hearted chuckle. “i’m sorry you went through that, paige.”
“it’s… fine,” paige started, voice quieter now. “you know, it’s hard trying to come to terms with what i have now and what i lost.” she found herself thinking back to the days spent training in a hot gym and nights under bright arena lights. azzi watched her quietly before setting the notepad aside and reaching out to touch her arm.
“hey, look. we can take five,” she offered. “we have time. and by the way, i don’t think you’re any lesser now than before. you still fucking rock, paige. you’re not defined by what you won’t do, you’re defined by what you have done and what you continue to do.” azzi tilted her head slightly, giving paige an encouraging smile. she knew her job was to interview her, not play therapist, but they were humans at the end of the day and she could tell paige was hurting. paige looked over at her, returning the smile for the first time that morning.
“yeah, i’ll take five. i’m gonna step out for a minute,” she said, standing up and straightening her clothes out. she walked out to the parking lot and lit a cigarette and taking a long drag. the smoke curled into the air before disappearing. it was a beautiful sight to paige despite knowing that smoking wasn’t good for her health. she flicked the cigarette butt and thought back to azzi touching her arm and smiling at her. god, she was perfect.
she shook her head, willing the thoughts away. falling for a journalist from the scoop? really?
paige stumbled into her room, kicking her shoes off by the door and dropping her keys and phone on the counter. her dog skipped out from around the corner, the little pitter-patter of his claws making paige look his way. she crouched down to pet him but lost her balance briefly and caught herself on the wall. she let out a little laugh and her dog stared, sitting down and wagging his tail. she slid into a sitting position and pulled him closer to pet him behind his ears.
“hi maxey,” she slurred softly. “you miss me, boy? i missed you. yes i did! yes i did!” her dog yipped in response. paige smiled at the small animal. following her accident, she adopted maxey after getting a recommendation from her therapist. having maxey helped a lot because before getting him, she wouldn’t even get out of bed. at the very least, the little guy gave her a reason to get up and go outside for thirty minutes to walk him.
the dog yipped at her again and she leaned her body forward just enough to peak into the kitchen around the corner. he was hungry. “sorry, max.” she pushed herself up and dragged her feet to the kitchen and scooped out some dry food from it’s container. it was one of those nights where she was too drunk to prepare a five star meal for her dog, let alone even cook for herself. loose strands of hair fell into her face as she leaned down to pour the food into the bowl while maxey spun in circles excitedly at her feet. she thought she fed him before she left, did she just imagine it? did she feed him but he just ate everything really quickly? she brushed it off, telling herself that it was okay since he was eating now.
…1876 : hiii paigeee i miss uuu ! wyd
paige opened the chat. she didn’t have this number saved so she had to scroll around to try and remember who this was. she also had too many numbers in her phone to remember who was who.
paige: heyy nm, just got back
…1876: oo can i come over? i havent seen u in so long :(
paige: sure thing pretty girl. lmk when ur here
paige dropped her phone into her pocket and raked her fingers through her hair. did she really want company right now? no, but it was so much better than being alone with her thoughts. the interview fucked her up big time. not that azzi had done anything wrong, but talking about her career before it took a nosedive was really setting her back. it also didn’t help that azzi was so sweet to her and they didn’t even know each other. the girl was so damn beautiful too, and she was convinced she could still smell the warm scent of coconut on her hands if she tried hard enough despite the interview happening almost a week ago by this point.
she sighed and made her way over to the sink to fix up her hair. she told herself to stop thinking about her but something about her had her hooked. god help her. she forced her to think about the girl she had coming over but her mind kept wandering back to azzi.
she needed another drink.
azzi started her mornings bright and early. maybe it wasn’t so bright, it was damn near still dark out but that’s just the way she liked it. it gave her time to get in her morning workouts before heading into work but even on says where she didn’t work, she still woke up early. it’s just what her body wanted for her. it gave her a sense of accomplishment even if it was the only thing she had planned for the day (which it never was). she was walking out to the bus stop when her phone started ringing. she didn’t recognize the number but she picked up anyway. “hello?” she asked, her voice firm but not harsh. she always answered unknown numbers in her professional voice just in case it happened to be some higher up from work.
“heeeey… azzi, right? the scoop? we met the other day,” a voice slurred on the other end. azzi immediately recognized it as paige.
“paige?” she asked, her voice raising like it usually did when she was concerned. “i— are you okay? how did you get my number?” she didn’t remember giving out her number to her.
“oh, yeah,” paige laughed. “sorry, az. i asked jennifer to get it from your boss. hope ya don’t mind.”
azzi turned her head away from the phone to sigh before holding it back to her face again. “no, no, not at all.” she did mind, actually. why was her boss giving out her number to clients like it was candy on halloween? “did you need something?”
“nah, i just wanted to talk to you. i saw you published the article. you said some real nice things about me. you’re the first in a looooong time.”
“you were great, yes. did you want to make a correction?”
“mm-mm. i want to talk to you, that’s all. was wondering if you could join me for lunch? nothin’ too crazy, i just want to talk again.”
azzi hesitated. she didn’t really like when her professional life crossed over into her private life, but she’d make an exception. last she’d heard through the grapevine, paige was seeing some movie star and things seemed to be going steady. now, she wasn’t sure if that was still the case but she just assumed it was. “sure.”
“great! okay, later on today. y’know that cafe place by the train station? the big train station. let’s go there. i’ll see you at 2.”
“okay, sure. i know that spot. i’ll see you later on then. rest up,” azzi said, her voice a little louder now to try and not drown in the sound of passing cars. she could tell the other woman was drunk too. she hung up the phone and stuck her hand out for the bus, making sure it didn’t pass her. the bus missed her too many times in the past.
she rested her head against the window, watching the buildings flash by outside. she felt bad for paige, the poor girl seemed a wreck and she didn’t mean to sound like she was pitying her but she really did feel bad. she wouldn’t even touch a ball for an ad anymore. she knew it wasn’t her job to ‘fix’ her but she really did want to help her. so, she tugged the cord to signal for a stop and hopped of the bus at the nearest sporting goods store. once inside, she went straight to the basketball section.
she was no stranger to the sport, she herself played in college. the only reason she didn’t go pro was because she didn’t want to, but she totally could have. she didn’t want the glitz and the glam, she liked her quiet life just the way it was. she tested a few balls out on the floor before deciding on a purple one. she remembered reading that paige liked purple but it wasn’t like she was purposely committing it to memory. never that. she checked out after an hour, accidentally splurging a little more on just a basketball.
she called her friend on the way back home, giving her a briefing on what she had in store for her day. she always made sure to tell at least one person what she would be doing and where she was going. she was a little paranoid about things going wrong and nobody knowing where she was at.
“you’re… getting lunch with the paige bueckers?” her friend, mackenzie, asked skeptically. “are you sure its her? what if it’s just someone using her pictures? c’mon, you’ve seen catfish.”
azzi laughed, “yeah, kenz. i don’t even use dating apps. i met with her at work and she had her agent snag my number.” she could hear her smirk on the other end. “what?”
“nothing! that sounds romantic, actually.”
“it’s not romantic.”
“it is too. that’s like straight out of those books you read!”
“it is not,” azzi insisted. “look, i’m not even looking for love right now. plus, this is strictly business, okay? i’m just building a friendly relationship with her.”
“sure, you’re building a relationship. not sure if it’s friendly though,” she teased.
azzi rolled her eyes and let out a scoff. “yeah okay, whatever. i’ll talk to you later, i’m about to start walking in a sec here.”
“okay, bye sunshine. give paige a kiss for me.”
azzi hung up and tugged on the cord again, but she couldn’t stop the little smile from spreading across her features.
paige was there early, dressed her best while also trying to fly under the radar. she had already had gone through two bottles of water by this point because her mouth kept going dry at the thought of her. focus, she told herself. but when azzi came through those doors looking like rainbows and sunshine personified, she almost choked on her spit. she stood up to shake her hand. “az,” she almost blurted out excitedly.
“paige,” azzi replied, taking her hand and giving it a shake. she sat across from her and scanned the menu. it’s been a while since she ate there and the menu definitely changed since the last time. “i think i’ll go with the cottage cheese salad,” she commented, just trying to ease her nerves.
“cottage cheese? yuck,” paige laughed.
“yuck? it’s not yuck,” azzi insisted, “well, miss lunchable, i’ll have you know it’s actually pretty good.”
“sure, sure.”
azzi decided against bringing the ball with her. she didn’t want to seem like she was courting her or anything. in her mind, bringing the ball would have been the same thing as bringing a bouquet of flowers. she totally wasn’t courting her, it was just lunch with a client. nothing more, nothing less. “what are you doing after this?” she asked her before taking a moment to eat a bite of her salad. she put a finger over her lips to chew, looking at her with a soft expression.
“probably just going to take a nap,” paige answered with a shrug.
“a nap? it’s two in the afternoon. c’mon, be serious.”
paige felt a little silly but she was still kind of hungover from last night. “can a girl nap? i haven’t been this busy in forever. i’m pooped.”
azzi laughed at her. “that’s so stupid. i hate that word. ‘pooped’,” she repeated. “such a dumb word.”
paige found herself smiling at the sound azzi’s laughter. her dimples were absolutely adorable and her laugh was like music to her ears. it felt nice being the one to make her laugh. she could totally get used to that. she wanted that. “whatever you say, pretty girl.” the term slipped from her lips before she could stop herself. she pinched the bridge of her nose, her features scrunching up in embarrassment. “wait, shit, sorry. azzi. azzi.” she knew she was too damn flirty for her own good, it was one of the things she was known for. paige bueckers was a charmer, but she was also incredibly dumb sometimes.
azzi raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on it. she didn’t want to make it more awkward than it already was. she cleared her throat and took a sip of her lemonade. “aren’t you seeing someone? what’s her name,” she started, snapping her fingers together as she tried to jog her memory. “that one actress… y’know… um…”
“no, no. that ended a whiiiiile ago.”
“oh.” she was a journalist, but she didn’t keep up with intimate details of celebrities’ lives. it felt embarrassing though whenever she didn’t know something she felt like she should. “i’m sorry.”
“you’re fine, don’t worry about it.” the breakup wasn’t very public so paige didn’t expect her to know or even really remember even if she had known at some point. it wasn’t a sudden crash and burn. it was more of a slow rot, like wood decaying slowly over the years after too much water damage until you really can’t ignore the smell anymore. the breaking point had been paige’s distance after announcing her retirement.
“hey, you know what? i gotta run, but we can talk some other time,” azzi blurted out suddenly, standing up and grabbing her purse. she left some cash on the table to cover her half of the bill. paige watched her leave abruptly, chewing the inside of her cheek as she picked her at sandwich.
she blew it.
paige felt terrible. she didn’t mean to make azzi uncomfortable, she really didn’t. she got too in her head, she couldn’t help herself. she wasn’t too far into her head enough apparently for her to have called azzi “pretty girl”…
she cringed every time she thought about it. why did she do that? she wanted to make it right, but how? did she even care about it or was paige overthinking per usual? she sighed and sat up in bed, reaching over to switch on her bedside lamp as she thought about it. she picked up her phone and decided to do some research on her, thinking maybe that’ll help her find a way to connect.
honestly, part of her didn’t even care if azzi was interested romantically. she just didn’t want to seem like some creepy dork. to be fair, she was a dork.
she searched up her name on google to see what came up.
meet azzi fudd, most promising prospect out of the dmv.
cool, she played basketball too. she couldn’t find anything past high school though. nothing in college, nothing after college. only aau and high school. that part confused her: she was clearly great at the game, so why didn’t she pursue it?
by morning, paige had multiple packages coming in (thank god for next day shipping) as well as a few pickup orders to pick up. she hauled her boxes inside before sending her assistant out to collect her pickup orders. while her assistant was out, paige got to work on her basketball themed gift basket.
she initially thought to steer away from clothing if she didn’t know her sizes, but she thought she’d just attach the receipt for her to exchange in case she didn’t like it. no big deal. she finished up her basket when her assistant dropped off the last of her things and tipped her generously.
later on that day, she was knocking on azzi’s door. she kept a good distance between herself and the door, she didn’t want to seem like an over-eager weirdo.
azzi cautiously opened the door, her gaze flickering between paige’s face and the basket. “paige…?” she asked, opening the door a little more now. she squinted, “how’d you get my address?”
“i had my assistant call your job,” she replied, holding out the basket to her. “i wanted to say sorry, okay? i was totally out of line, i’m sorry.”
azzi accepted the basket and looked paige over again before completely opening the door. “c’mon,” she said, inviting her inside.
paige sat across from her at the dining room table, watching azzi go through the basket of basketball goodies. she felt proud of herself upon seeing the stubborn little smile fight its way onto azzi’s face. “paige,” she said, opening the shoe box. “c’mon, you didn’t have to do this.”
“i know i didn’t. that’s my favorite part. i wanted to do this.”
“i’m giving this back.”
“you can’t, there’s no take-backs,” paige laughed, crossing her hands to make an ‘x’ and shaking her head. “i’m not taking it back.”
azzi rolled her eyes. “you’re something else.”
“right? apparently you were too. why’d you stop playing?”
“playing what?”
“basketball! your little local media outlets were riding you like crazy when you played! why’d you stop?” paige asked, standing up and pacing for emphasis. she mimicked a crossover into a fadeaway. “you were nasty! i seen your highlights.”
azzi could feel herself blush. she cleared her throat and shook her head… this girl was ridiculous. she kind of hated herself right now for being so stupidly attracted to this silly blonde. “i just didn’t have the passion for it, okay?” she finally answered reluctantly, playing with the shoelaces of her new shoe. “i wasn’t that good.”
“bullshit! you were that good.”
“i was not.”
“you are. look,” paige started, leaning down and resting her forearm on the table to look azzi in her eyes. she couldn’t stop the smile on her face, god, this girl was beautiful and she was right in front of her. “if you really think you aren’t that good, then show me. if you get on the court with me tomorrow and show me, then i’ll drop it. ‘kay?” she tried to frame it as more of a friendly challenge rather than a date even if she really, really wanted that.
azzi thought for a moment, because in her mind, it felt like a date even if paige wasn’t saying that. “i can’t.”
“you can! why not?”
azzi shrugged hesitantly. she really had no real reason to turn her down. the article was published already, she wasn’t really working with her anymore. but then again, she couldn’t let herself fall for her. what if people start to question her journalistic integrity? “… journalistic integrity?” she finally mumbled. “i don’t want my work questioned because i’m seen with you.”
paige put her hands on her shoulders, “you won’t be. i promise, azzi. i swear if somehow this magically backfires on you, i’ll fix it.”
“you don’t know that…”
“i don’t, but you don’t either. just trust me, okay? i got you.”
azzi sighed, before nodding and setting the shoe down in her lap. “okay, okay fine. i’ll go, okay?”
“okay,” paige smiled. she loosened her grip on her shoulders, her touch lingering before letting go entirely. “i’ll pick you up,” she added softly. she smoothed her shirt out before stuffing her hands into her pockets.
azzi stood at the table even after paige left. the twirled the laces around her fingers idly. her gaze shifted to look at all the goodies: chocolate, clothes, a pink basketball, and other little miscellaneous items. that girl was going to be the death of her.
Summary: It feels like everything is conspiring against her; every external force is pushing her into the state of mind that makes her do crazy shit.
Authors Note: Life is so busy, for everyone. Thank you for following with this fic, for all your encouraging messages and for loving these characters as I do. And, of course, thank you to the people who give me so much of their time in editing, specifically @buffalo1221 and @nellstark, and endless love for Family FC for always hyping me up and encouraging me.
Hot Lap Notes:
Safety Car: Safety Car vs. Virtual Safety Car: Sometimes during a race, a safety car is called. This often happens if there is a crash and they need to clean up the debris/crashed car but don’t want to red flag the race and make everyone come into the garages to wait. A safety car means there is an actual car that comes onto the track, in front of the lead driver. All the cars must then keep at a reasonable speed and can’t overtake or do anything dangerous. A virtual safety car (VSC) is when there isn’t an actual car that comes onto the track, but the drivers are informed they are under VSC rules and that means they need to keep to a specific speed.
Chapter 10: Interlagos, Part 1
Hartford, Connecticut
2012
Bumming around Barnes & Noble is a nice way to spend a Saturday.
Kathy had to run errands in Hartford, and she likes to browse as much as the next middle aged white lady; she bought Paige a Frappuccino from the cafe and went to look at the gardening section, leaving Paige free to wander the isles and cover skim.
Hanging out in a bookstore to pass the time feels like a world apart from any Saturday afternoon that she ever spent at home.
Back in Hopkins, if it wasn’t a racing weekend — or if they didn’t have money for the kart gas — her Saturdays were almost always spent with Mrs. Cuthbert, the old lady who lives in the unit below theirs. She didn’t mind having Paige around the place while her dad worked first shift at the warehouse, happy to have someone to pass the time with. She’d make Paige pancakes and they would watch the Golden Girls.
Walking around Barnes & Noble still feels so different to her life back in Hopkins, even though it’s been almost two years since she’s been living with Geno and Kathy.
After browsing the youth literature section, Paige walks through the magazine racks. She’s paged through them before — Barnes & Noble is included in the usual rotation when Kathy runs errands in Hartford — but buying something that will be out of date within a few weeks isn’t how Paige wants to spend her money. What little pocket change she has.
She settles in one of the plush armchairs that’s been deposited in the psychology section of the store, because it probably gets the least amount of foot traffic.There’s a stack of car magazines in her lap and the Double Chocolate Mint Frappuccino with whip cream and mocha sauce sweats droplets onto her thigh as she idly sips at it.
It’s been almost forty-five minutes since she and Kathy arrived, which means there’s probably ten more minutes until Kathy comes to find her. Paige is almost finished with the last magazine she picked at random; AutoTalk Racing Magazine.
There are a few interviews that are interesting, and Paige reads them slowly so she can remember the most important parts to soak up. There’s one with the Sauber F1 Team Principal, and another with one of the coaches who’s fairly well known on the karting circuit.
She almost bypasses a Q&A write-up and listing of advice from ‘the next generation of motorsport minds’ because what do they know, but as she’s glancing through, her attention gets pulled toward one of the unique names that’s bolded in a yellow circular graphic, the double ‘z’ catching her eye. Azzi. Azzi Fudd.
Q: Your high school engineering team recently won the national Shell Marathon competition for designing a racing vehicle. What’s the most important thing you’ve learned through the process?
A: Downforce is faith. It only works when you commit before it feels safe
Azzi Fudd, 16, incoming First Year at Imperial College London
The name sticks out in Paige’s brain; this is the girl Geno’s talked about. The one who asked him for help with the competition. The one with the big brain.
“Paige? Let’s go honey, we should get going if we want to eat dinner at a reasonable time.”
She looks up to see Kathy approaching, and nods. “I’ll put these back,” she says, already moving to stand.
Kathy doesn’t need to be spending her money on Paige, but she always does. It feels nice, to have someone who wants her to smile, but awkward, because Paige always feels a little bit like a charity case.
“Just this one,” she says, putting the magazine on top of the basket, over a knitting pattern book and a gardening magazine. “Thank you.”
“Maybe we should get a cookie for the road,” Kathy says, smiling. She digs into her wallet and hands Paige a ten dollar bill. “Get two of the big ones and I’ll meet you up front.”
Paige nods and takes the remaining stack of magazines and the money to head back to the cafe. She’ll tell Geno what she saw; he’ll be interested that Azzi Fudd is going to London.
After all, he says he wouldn’t be surprised if she ends up running an F1 team someday.
—--
October 3 - 5, Brazilian Grand Prix: São Paulo: The Autódromo José Carlos Pace (Interlagos)
“Looking great, looking great. Okay, Paige, let’s do eyes on the camera for a few shots.”
She turns her head and makes eye contact with the camera lens, her lips settling into something that isn’t a smile but doesn’t feel too severe. On her left, Nika looks out at the street as she was directed to do, her gaze assessing as always.
The sound of the camera shutter is one more sound to the soundtrack of the morning, the vibrant bustle of São Paulo on a Tuesday; music from the crew to keep the mood high, a semi-busy street, and what feels like a hundred people scurrying around.
“These are great,” the photographer says. “Absolute flames.”
“Flames,” Nika murmurs, too quietly for anyone else to hear. She’s been outfitted in a sporty little crop top and a pair of jeans that Paige is envious of. Nika has the face of a high fashion model so she always looks photoshoot ready, but the hair, makeup, and styling teams have really transformed her into the kind of vision that any label in the world would covet.
“Chill,” Paige soothes her, letting the photographer capture a few more shots before she looks away and smirks in Nika’s direction.
They’re seated in Beco de Batman at a little table brought in specifically for them. The popular street art area serves as a colorful and cultural backdrop for these photos; Paige can’t wait to see them.
It’s a photoshoot designed to show off the young might of Team Lamborghini. Paige and Nika are in one location; Soni and Georgia are in another, and the four of them are supposed to converge at some tourist attraction in the center of the city in a little bit for a few shots of them just casually looking like they could grace a magazine cover.
The photos will hit the internet by the end of the week, coinciding with a long form article that Soni and Paige both sat for. The Future of Lamborghini, or some shit like that.
The whole thing has been planned for a while, but the timing couldn’t be better; Lamborghini has a 105 point lead over McLaren in the Constructors’ Championship and it’s creating a lot of buzz. Paige and Soni aren’t winning every race, but they’re consistently delivering good points and it’s really making a difference in the standings. Everyone — the analysts, the commentators, the fans — are frothing about how two rookies are giving the veterans on the grid the run around.
It’s too early and everyone’s too superstitious to throw around the term uncatchable or runaway winners but numbers don’t lie; Lamborghini is narrowing in on the title.
“Okay let’s do some fun ones,” the photographer chirps. “Can you do a little cheers with your drinks?”
Truly ridiculous.
Paige lifts her glass of Guaraná Antarctica and Nika does the same with her cafézinho; they clink together and dissolve into laughter, because there’s definitely some part of them that can’t believe this is their life. That they get to do this together is the sweetest part.
Ten more minutes of photos and the photographer announces that she’s gotten what she needs. Everyone begins to pack up and the poor handler assigned to shuttle Nika and Paige from place to place steps in to guide them to the car.
“You’ll go through the styling teams again at the next location,” she says, opening the door to the SUV so they can climb inside.
São Paulo is an incredible city, vibrant and alive. Scope the size that confounds the mind. Paige has been three times before but each time she discovers a new side to the metropolis. A different personality to the concrete jungle that speaks to whomever Paige has been at that moment.
Not always for the best.
“So we’re going to one of those observation boxes?” Paige thinks that’s what she remembers being told. “Forty floors up or something.”
“Who comes up with these ideas?” Nika asks. “At least the clothes are good. Do I get to keep this?”
“No.”
“What? What a racket. Life is a disappointment.” Nika frowns down at the crop, pulling on the bodice like she’s going to physically restrain someone from taking it off her person. But then she glances out the window and her face lights up.
“Can we stop?” She calls up to the driver.
Paige is sure that the driver is going to say no to whatever it is Nika’s requesting, but to her surprise, the assistant who’s in charge of them tells the driver to pull off. A few minutes later they pull into a parking lot, and Paige follows Nika out of the SUV.
“Oh fuck,” she murmurs. “Here it is.”
Above all else, racing in Brazil means paying homage to the most iconic F1 driver to ever exist.
Ayrton Senna.
“It really is a sick mural,” Nika comments, looking up.
Across the very busy street is the famous mural. It’s over a hundred feet tall, a beautiful and colorful representation of Senna in his helmet, the visor up.
The first time Paige saw it, she was drunk on an F2 win. It had rained before her race, during her race, and after. She’d stood nearby, drenched head to toe with rainwater, the feel of a random girl’s lips on her neck.
The random girl and their night together is gone from her memory but for a blur of neon lights and slick skin and the taste of Cachaça, but she remembers the mural. Remembers looking up at it, at his eyes.
It’s strange to feel things about someone who’s long dead, but there’s something about the legacy of Ayrton Senna that’s always spoken to Paige. She drives like him and it isn’t even purposeful. It’s the way the rain speaks to her, the way the car can dance. It’s a lot, sometimes, to feel the car so deeply.
She’d stood that night, brimming with confidence and victory and wondered if she could really do it — if she could actually be one of the greats. Everything in the world would say no, that greatness is for a lucky few. But Paige has always been greedy. It’s a constant; she’s always wanted more than she’s been allotted and all signs point to that never changing. With her family, with racing, with Azzi.
But Ayrton Senna died on the track and Paige supposes that might be a fitting way to go for someone who lives and breathes for it. That it’s the trade off, a bargain made with fate. Signed and sealed with her blood before she ever gave her verbal agreement. She still doesn’t know who the other signatory is; God or the devil. Time will tell.
“Imagine being so beloved by two hundred million people,” Nika continues, her gaze reverent as she studies the art. It’s the softest her face has looked in ages.
“Imagine having that talent,” Paige muses.
There’s a famous Senna quote that always stuck with Paige; if you no longer go for a gap which exists, you are no longer a racing driver.
She thinks about those words as she walks to the edge of the parking lot, almost drawn to the mural. The calling doesn’t pull her into the traffic but it’s close. She’s been chasing the gap her whole life, trying to slip her way in. It’s inevitable that it opens up, after all.
A few feet behind her, Nika pulls out her phone to snap a few photos.
The click of the camera shutter surprises Paige; she turns around to see the photographer from their shoot, who was following in another car. Hers must have pulled off as well. She takes another photo as Paige makes unintentional eye contact with the lens.
“We should get going,” the photographer says after a moment of shooting, when Paige has turned back to the mural. “Lots more to do today still.”
Paige nods but she lingers at the edge of the concrete lot, her eyes still on the only man she’s maybe ever loved.
It’s hard to love a ghost. And yet.
—--
1:22: …out of a meeting with Diana — more administrative bullshit, honestly — , they’re interviewing her about the new Ayrton Senna documentary. Thirty years on and people are still talking about his driving. Imagine meaning that much to a sport. I always thought his…
—--
Dinner is being held at an extremely fancy steakhouse. There’s live music being strummed somewhere nearby, in combination with the low beat of some kind of base. Waiters float around, barely visible unless someone needs something at which point they materialize.
Diana wanted to treat everyone. That was the official narrative spread around, an order disguised as an invitation.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Soni is saying, waving her red wine airily. “Think you must be imagining things.”
It’s a good atmosphere at the restaurant; people are feeling fairly upbeat about the weekend. Not too confident, just…capable. And Paige knows her role in this space, she’s aware of what’s expected from her. So she’s charming and easy going; she jokes around with the heads of the different teams and the other leadership level folks present and puts actual effort into being the most genial version of herself.
“Bro you looked like you were gonna pass out,” Paige shakes her head. “Why didn’t you tell anyone you were afraid of heights.”
“Because I’m not afraid.”
“Sonia,” she chastises, “it’s wrong to lie.”
A fancy dinner at an exclusive steakhouse isn’t necessary to encourage team cohesion and positivity, but Paige knows it’s about more than the food or the atmosphere. Diana wants people present, she wants to lay eyes and stare them down. Lamborghini has never had a season that’s been this dominant. They’ve led a few times, but they’ve never brought home the Constructors’ Championship.
At this point, the only team that could catch them is McLaren, and they’d almost have to win out. The talking heads on the sports channels and the analysts on the internet are all yapping about what the magic number will be, what race it’ll happen, if Lamborghini can keep it up. Paige doesn’t pay any attention to that; she gets in the car and does what she can, and sometimes she also does what she’s told, and altogether she fucking hopes it adds up to success.
She’s engaged in a conversation with the heads of the tyre crew, returning from a trip to the bar for a sparkling water, when she finally catches sight of Azzi. Big group get-togethers like this aren’t Azzi’s favorite; Paige remembers with clarity the way she used to hype Azzi up before she left to go meet Sue or Nneka or the others at Mercedes.
It’s easy to excuse herself, to make her way across the restaurant and to the balcony where Azzi stands at the railing, looking over the view. She’s wearing her usual nice black dress, the one that Paige picked out for her. It’s exactly right for this kind of event; nice enough to look dressy but still acceptable for a professional setting. Seeing Azzi draped in something Paige picked out will never get old but it still hits her like a punch to the gut.
“Hey,” Paige says, walking to join her.
Azzi turns. She has a glass of wine in her hand and she’s been drinking it; Paige can see the imprint of her lips on the rim. Red and full.
“I heard you spent the day posing for the camera,” she says.
“It loves me,” Paige preens, unashamed to be so beautiful. “I’m blessed.”
“And humble.” Azzi sounds like she’s not charmed but Paige knows differently.
Well, she certainly believes differently.
Things are different now. Paige thought they would be, but being near Azzi again confirms it. Zandvoort changed the lay of the land, the ground under her feet. So did Monza and her win there. Because they did that together.
But Austin - Austin - they can't go back after Austin. After she took care of Azzi and put her to bed and sat next to her while she finally succumbed to the needs of her body. Reading poetry to Azzi as a comfort.
Paige doesn't know what it means, where they go from here. But she knows that things are different. In a good way.
“This is a fun little event.” She leans her elbows on the balcony railing, taking in the view. São Paulo is similar to Mexico City in feel. Alive and electric and huge. And Azzi always loved big cities.
“Diana’s feeling the pressure of leading. She’s obsessed with cohesion.”
“Bet that’s fun,” Paige comments.
Azzi smiles to herself, a tiny little smirk. “She won’t say it. She’s too cool to admit that she actually feels the pressure.”
She turns to open to Paige just a little more. The lights from inside flicker against her skin, little golden flames that dance across her face. There’s a change about her. It’s not that she seems…lighter. In fact, it almost feels like the opposite.
But in a good way.
“She doesn’t want to put too much pressure on you,” Azzi adds; she’s amused. “Thinks it’ll ruin your vibe.”
The way she annunciates vibe is going to live in Paige’s fantasies.
“Let me guess,” Paige hypothesizes. “You told her it’s just not possible. Not with an ego as big as mine.”
The smug grin that graces Azzi’s face is so self satisfactory that Paige’s mouth waters a little bit. Azzi’s always pretended to not care about being right, but Paige knows she relishes in it, that she delights in always being right. How she manages to keep it a secret from most folks is a mystery; Paige has always been able to see right through her artifice.
But Azzi just shrugs. “I told her you could handle it.”
“I can,” Paige confirms. “You feeling better?”
Obviously Azzi is feeling better. She looks like a different human being than she did in Austin, when she was a snotty and sick mess and resembled patient zero in a post-apocalypse horror movie. They’ve exchanged voice notes since then; first just one a day and then two. Yesterday they traded five back and forth.
“I am. Thank you,” she adds, and it’s the first time she’s said it.
“You’re welcome.”
Azzi may be physically better but Paige can’t stop thinking about the hotel room in Austin. About the lack of poetry and the dress and the way that Azzi fell asleep next to her. It seems like every intimate encounter only adds to the list of questions.
“You stop anywhere on your way down?”
Azzi’s commitment to work is unmatched but her dedication to seeing the world has deeper roots than her love of numbers.
“No. I stayed two extra days in Austin, just sleeping. But then Diana wanted me back at the factory.”
It’s insane what these teams do; the US to Italy to Brazil in the span of two weeks. The trans-Atlantic flight probably negated all the good that Azzi did her body by sleeping two days away in Austin, but at this point in the season it’s really just about getting to the end. How can Paige nitpick at her when she’s done worse herself.
“You doing okay, after Austin?” Azzi asks, glancing over. She takes another sip of her wine and Paige tries not to focus on the way her lips kiss the rim of her glass.
“I hate what happened at COTA,” she admits, exhaling a deep sigh. “Racing like that didn’t feel good.”
Paige doesn’t need to explain that to Azzi, of all people. But Azzi asked, after all.
“It won’t happen again,” Azzi promises her.
Paige shakes her head. “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.”
“And I don’t need you to fight mine.”
There’s strength in Azzi’s words, the kind that comes from getting deep into it and emerging victorious. Things must have gone down, back in Sant’Agata; Paige wants to know the ins and outs of it all, the messy and gossipy details. But that’s never been Azzi’s thing.
“So it’s a battle we fight together,” she offers, and it’s worth it to see the way Azzi softens into a smile.
“It’s going to be a good week,” Azzi murmurs a moment later. She glances down at her wine and then over at Paige, like lingering eye contact is too much for her to sustain. “It’s a good track for you. For the car.”
Interlagos is a demanding track; it doesn’t prioritize one type of driver over another, or even one type of car over another. With twists and turns, elevation changes and a need for efficient aero, it’s a track that accepts only the best of the best. To truly master Interlagos is something beautiful to watch.
The design of the Lamborghini car also helps them here, because Paige isn’t a driver who needs to rely only on straight line speed to get an advantage. At Mercedes, it was part of Azzi’s job to help mold the car, to give her feedback on the design process so that the engineers could align it as best as they could to suit Sabrina’s driving style. But now, at Lamborghini, it’s starting from scratch again, and Paige’s strengths combined with Soni’s strengths mean they have a little more breathing room.
There will be expectations for Paige this weekend; she was good at Interlagos in F2. Better than Sabrina was when she was in F2. But it also means that there will be pressure. She pushes the thought out of her head.
“It’ll be different in the F1 car,” she says instead, always happy to pad her ego but never comfortable enough to take the direct compliment from Azzi. Not until she’s earned it.
“You’ll manage.”
There’s a buzz inside; Paige turns her head to see people starting to take their seats. Diana must be gearing up to start her on-location pep talk.
“We should head in,” she says, reluctantly.
Azzi hums in agreement, but neither of them make a big move to leave their quiet little bubble. It’s nice here, just the two of them, the silence no longer filled with anger or resentment like it was at the beginning of the season.
But they can’t stay cocooned away from the team, because chairs are scraping and people are moving and it’ll be obvious that they’re missing soon enough. Paige turns to leave but before she goes she steps in just a hair, just close enough for the scent of citrus and motor oil to invade her nostrils.
“You look beautiful,” she whispers, her chin just brushing the side of Azzi’s head.
—--
“Dig, Paige, you got this.”
Paige breathes through the exertion, through the discomfort. She’s on one hand and the opposite foot, planking with her other hand on a roller disk. Sweat drips down her nose as she extends the arm on the roller disk to redistribute her core balance and stretch her arm beyond 90 degrees.
Beside her, DiJonai counts as Paige adds reps. She’s taken some video already, since Paige’s management team asked for a little more content. Given her success so far in the standings, people are clamoring for more; she doesn’t want it to be a distraction so she put DiJonai in charge.
“Alright, three more.”
She groans into it, then collapses, exhausted, onto her stomach.
“Dead,” she manages, flopping onto her back to starfish.
It’s a fancy gym. Some place in downtown São Paulo nearly as high as that observational tower they went to. DiJonai is punishing Paige for the steak, ruining the buzz of a good evening with sweat and exertion. It’s too extreme to say Paige loves it, but she can appreciate what a workout does for her mind and her body.
It’s just her spirit that constantly needs mending.
“Five minute rest and then let’s do some combos.”
Paige nods, catching the water bottle that DiJonai tosses at her. She takes three long swigs, relishing in the sensation of the ice water in her body. She worked hard to keep herself in shape during F3 and F2, to make sure that she was ready for what the car demanded of her, but the F1 car is a different beast; it takes more than Paige sometimes thinks she’s capable of giving. And she was able to keep up when the season started, but now she knows how much it will take. DiJonai keeps her ready. In more ways than just one.
“Alright,” Paige says, heaving herself up and stretching. “Let’s do this.”
They go to the balcony, because the fresh air feels good on her overheated skin. The view of São Paulo doesn’t hurt either.
“Good,” DiJonai says as Paige follows the instructed throwing combination. “Lean in a little more with your shoulder.”
They go five full minutes, and Paige’s arms are almost shaking when the timer dings. She walks a little circle to wind down, focusing on her breathing.
“How you feeling?” DiJonai asks. “With everything?”
She didn’t tell DiJonai anything about what happened in Austin. Didn’t tell anyone, really, though all the engineers know that Paige and Azzi left the track together after the race and Nika gave her a few meaningful glances when they met up in São Paulo.
“I’m feeling good,” Paige admits. It’s the truth. Even though Austin was a clusterfuck on track, Paige is feeling more positive than she’s felt in a long time. She’s not back to how she was last season, when she was narrowing in on her third consecutive F3 victory — she’s not even close to that — but she’s climbing the mountain. One step at a time.
“What’s the word on the car for this week?”
“Briefings say we’re competitive. Understeer shouldn’t be too bad, and Interlagos is a good track. So long as it doesn’t rain, plan looks good.”
Almost immediately, there’s a crack of thunder. She and DiJonai both look up to see that the sky has turned from gray and overcast to dark and stormy.
“Cool,” Paige mutters. “Welcome to Brazil.”
—--
“It’s an extratropical cyclone,” Nika says when Paige arrives at the track.
The entire mood around the garage has transformed; gone is the goodwill that last night promised. Lamborghini — and every other team on the grid — has been following satellite images and weather forecasts for weeks. Everyone expected Interlagos to be a dry race given the weather patterns. The current deluge doesn’t seem to be engendering a lot of positivity.
Also, in extremely annoying fashion, Paige’s hair is wet and raindrops cling to her eyelashes, because an umbrella did literally nothing to keep her dry. She shakes out her hair like a wet dog and throws the damp strands into a messy ponytail. Beside her, Nika looks on with disgust.
“You’re getting water everywhere. You’re like an actual dog.”
“I hate being here before the car is assembled,” Paige complains, eyeing the massive crates that contain the chassis, engine, and gearboxes.
Mechanics are hurrying around, checking parts against lists and communicating with one another in rapid Italian. She forgets, sometimes, that the bulk of the mechanics and a good portion of the engineers are Italian. Everyone speaks English at the track around her, but most of the project teams communicate in Italian. Lamborghini has deep ties to their country or origin.
“Are you going to be a baby all weekend?” Nika’s clearly not in the mood for Paige’s moody bullshit, and honestly it feels like the entire garage is in the same mindset.
“Is extratropical cyclone a stand in for ‘we fucked up on the weather report’?” She asks, just to be annoying.
“The storm formed at sea. It’s unexpected. You want the rundown?”
“Not really,” Paige admits. “Rain is rain, right?”
Nika shrugs. “Nobody can say how long it’ll last. Might be this bad through Sunday. Might resolve and go dry again.”
“How much do weather analysts make? Like, could I make a good living and not risk my life on four wheels and a seat going fast? Because it feels like the fuck up rate would work in my favor.”
One of the mechanics approaches Nika and says something in Italian; he hands her a clipboard and she scribbles her name. She probably doesn’t even know what it is; Paige hopes she just watched Nika sign her life away to a timeshare.
“Would you consider an existence where you don’t risk your life on four wheels and a seat to go fast a good life?”
“Fair,” Paige acknowledges. “Has Azzi exploded on the boys in the factory yet?”
Nika snorts. “Yes, but it was disappointing because she did it in Italian. But I got the gist.”
Damn. Missed opportunity. Paige would pay actual money to see Azzi chastising the weather analysts in Sant’Agata in Italian. She bets it would be hot; Azzi speaking another language is always hot.
As if Nika can read Paige’s thoughts, she rolls her eyes. “Mind out of the gutter. You’re worse than the tyre team.”
Whatever. Paige isn’t going to apologize for appreciating beauty in its most elevated form. She looks around, surreptitiously trying to see if Azzi’s anywhere near. Annoyingly, she’s not in the garage and Paige idly calculates the odds of running into CD or Azurá if she goes looking. It’s not a great outlook for her, all things considered.
“I’m gonna check in with the tyre guys,” she tells Nika, who only rolls her eyes.
“Sure you are.”
Paige gives her the side eye as she walks away.
—--
When she does, eventually, run into Azzi, it’s because everyone at the track has been called together for a briefing. Diana’s pulled all team members who are onsite into the garage to give a reframed version of the pep talk she delivered at dinner to the leadership team; this time, she’s added an ease and lightness to her delivery that Paige can tell is a front from the way her eyes continue to crinkle.
“Look at that,” she says with a wry smile. “It’s Brazil. It rains.”
That pulls a laugh from the crowd. Maybe there will be a master performance at Interlagos this weekend. Maybe Paige is about to see the maestro at work.
"So," Diana continues, a hint of amusement still lacing her tone. "We thought we were going to have a dry race. Now it looks like that's not the case. That’s alright. We'll adjust. F1 races in the rain. We're ready for this; it's why we do all the preparation that we do. We take nothing for granted."
Pretty words, and there’s feeling behind them. The tyre crew and the assorted engineers in the garage are all nodding in agreement. They want to win too.
Paige scans the room for Azzi and finds her across the crowd, standing next to a tall woman with goddess braids. They aren’t talking, though they’re standing closely; close enough that Paige cocks her head in interest. She doesn’t recognize her, and she prides herself on knowing everyone who works through the garage on race weekends.
“Who is that,” she whispers to Nika, pressing their elbows together and gesturing with her head. “With Azzi?”
Nika looks over. “Sarah… Strong, I think. She’s one of Diana’s minions. She’s usually at the factory.”
That makes sense. But it’s still odd, the way Azzi’s fine with this woman inside her personal space.
Of course, Azzi’s not paying any attention; not to Paige, or this Sarah Strong woman, or to Diana’s speech. Instead, she’s leaning against one of the tool cabinets and staring out the garage door at the rain, playing with a Rubik’s Cube. Her fingers twist and turn the six sided square with precision, even though she doesn’t look down to see what she’s doing. Paige can see the full square starting to establish, the sides beginning to form in full squares of color. Azzi’s going much slower than what she’s capable of. Paige once timed her doing it wine drunk and she got it in twenty-one seconds. Her fingers kept turning into butter and it pushed her time up.
The two of them laughing themselves silly probably didn’t help.
“We have everything we need to be successful,” Diana is concluding her speech. At least, Paige hopes it’s the end. “We have a good car. We have incredible drivers. We have a dedicated and capable team. We race as one.”
People clap, Paige included. She watches as the team starts to disperse; engineers begin to turn their attention back to data readouts and the tyre crew heads to their own huddle. Across the garage, Soni and Kiki are involved in deep conversation with Georgia and Caroline.
“Hey,” she says to Azzi. The cube is long solved and Azzi’s just twisting it aimlessly now, her attention still on the rain.
But Paige’s presence and words pull Azzi out of her daydreaming.
“Hey.”
She’s wearing an old pair of shorts. Not so thin to be indecent but enough to make Paige’s eyes linger. God, she’s so inappropriate about her senior race strategist.
“You fiddling,” she says, glancing at the cube. Azzi only fiddles when she’s particularly focused.
“Just needed something to keep my fingers busy,” Azzi says, and abruptly freezes. “I mean, that’s not, I—”
“Please,” Paige grins, “tell me more.”
“You’re the worst,” Azzi informs her, but her cheeks are red. Paige loves it. “Such a child.”
Paige shrugs, unrepentant. “You’re the one who thought about it being sexual. Can’t blame me for my mind wandering to—”
“A wet race,” Azzi interrupts, and then looks like she wants to run her face into a wall. Paige is delighted. “Oh my god, Paige. I — you — ugh.”
She groans and storms off, leaving Paige standing there absolutely shocked with glee.
“I love Brazil,” she whispers to herself, a different kind of understanding dawning. This is going to be a good week. A very good week.
—--
Rain in São Paulo is different from rain in Monaco, or anywhere else Paige has been in Europe. It’s warmer in Brazil, and more humid. Even in a loose T-shirt and shorts, she feels sweaty and gross from the inside out; it’s an uncomfortable combination.
The outlook doesn’t improve when she walks into the office waiting room and stops short.
“You again,” she mutters, immediately unenthused about life. Charlotte Atlier, in the flesh; Paige is reminded of seeing her in Mexico City and immediately scowls.
Unlike Paige, Charlie doesn’t look like she’s in any discomfort or having difficulty. Her hair is braided back into a low bun and it looks especially ginger with the dark green blouse and form fitting skirt.
“Good to see you too, Bueckers.”
“Why are you here,” Paige sighs. “In this room, not in South America,” she adds, because she can just see that stupid smirk starting to pull across Charlie’s face.
“I’m here on official business.”
“Have you been practicing saying that in the mirror?”
It’s nice to be such a bitch to Charlie. When she and Azzi were dating, Paige had to pretend to be cordial. Even then, when she and Azzi were only at the beginning of their friendship, Paige hadn’t wanted to cause Azzi distress. Now there’s no reason she has to play nice.
“I promise you, it kills me to say this,” Charlie sighs, “but you’re wanted on TV tomorrow. Brazil’s morning show. It's called Hoje em Dia.”
It’s just like Charlie to omit all the juicy information.
“What’s with the eleventh hour request? I’m not scheduled for external media this weekend.”
Paige isn’t trying to be actively difficult; it’s a relief to have a week away from any media duties other than the usual post-session/race press lines. But being on a morning show means she’ll have to get up at fuck o’clock in the morning on a Thursday and let herself get dolled up and – without question, the worst part — spend time with Charlie.
“Red Bull has declined all additional social media and public opportunities until further notice. After what happened in Austin with Nastya—”
“Nothing happened in Austin with Nastya,” Paige interrupts, because if that’s a narrative that’s spreading then she’s going to absolutely lose her shit. Especially since Nastya wasn’t scheduled to cover the Interlagos race for the communications team. She’ll be back to the paddock in Vegas, but she’s not in São Paulo.
Charlie raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corners of her mouth. “Protective, huh. Moved on from Azzi so fast, then?”
Christ, this woman is like an antibiotic resistant virus. No amount of herd immunity can get rid of her.
“Sophie’s just on her usual bullshit,” Paige snaps, ignoring the dig about her friendship with Nastya. “So stop making that about something that it isn’t.”
“Contrary to popular belief, I don’t actually have all the power in F1. Red Bull is sticking by Sophie and they’ve pulled Caitlin from media duty. So I have a spot to fill.”
What a fucking power move. Paige wants to throw something. It’s bad enough that all of them have to deal with Sophie and her fuckass antics on track; she’s a dangerous driver and sooner or later someone is going to get hurt by her recklessness. But to add to the unbearable frustration of that, she inexplicably commands power at Red Bull. Nika thinks it’s because Sophie does such a good job of courting the sponsors; they see her as the anti-woke shero that the more conservative F1 money has always clamored for. Whatever the reason, it’s galling that Red Bull is actually standing on business because of Sophie’s nonsense.
“I’m not the championship leader anymore,” Paige reminds Charlie. It stings, a little, because Austin was a shit show in every sense of the word, but being a driver means having a short memory. She can’t be concerned about what happened on the last track; Paige needs to focus on what’s ahead of her. Besides, her priority is Team Lamborghini and what she can do to ensure success for the team.
All to say, she doesn’t relish the idea of getting on national television after she led the Drivers’ Championship for exactly one week and having to answer questions about how great it is to be a Formula 1 driver.
“For reasons that truly confound me, people still want to hear from you.”
Paige rolls her eyes, unamused and annoyed. “What about Sabrina? Shouldn’t it go to her first?”
“Sabrina’s popular,” Charlie says. But there’s reluctance in her tone, a serious note of loathing that tells Paige what she’s really thinking.
Because the second part of her sentence goes unsaid, and Paige would bet there’s no universe where Charlie would admit it out loud.
But not as popular as you.
Someday, far in the future — when she and Azzi have grandchildren and a stupidly successful 401K — she’ll ask Azzi about Charlie. About what could have possibly drawn her to this woman.
Far, far in the future.
Maybe when they have great-grandchildren and they’re moving to Mars to establish a colony there.
“You gonna do it or am I going to have to go through more official channels?” Charlie snaps, annoyed at being made to wait.
The urge to make her crawl for it is strong; it fizzes in Paige’s fingertips, lays on her vocal cords like carbonation. For reasons that have nothing to do with Azzi or her affections, Paige finally has Charlie in the position of having to ask for something. The power trip ought to feel good.
“Send the details to my performance coach,” she says instead, agreeing to the TV segment. She’s done her due diligence and tried to get out of the entire thing but the last thing she needs is Charlie running to Diana to complain about Paige being difficult to work with. Everyone knows Diana is wound up, word on the paddock is that she and Sue are still feuding. So now’s not the time to push.
Charlie nods, and leaves Paige with a disparaging glance. She doesn’t even say thank you.
“You’re welcome,” Paige calls after her, rolling her eyes.
It would probably be good if they could find a way to work together in peace; Paige wants a long career in Formula 1, after all, and Charlie is high enough on the Public Relations team that she’s a fixture at many of the North and South American races. There’s a world where not having Azzi between them would fix the bad blood.
But not this world. Not this universe, where Paige still wants Azzi with a burning that lights her bones on fire. Not when she can still remember the cracked ceiling of her apartment in Brackley and the way she used to stare at it in the dark while knowing that a few blocks away Azzi slept next to Charlie.
Not when all that technically tethers Azzi and Paige right now are the contracts they each have with this Formula 1 racing team. And it seems that all that keeps them apart are the contracts they have with this Formula 1 team.
There’s too much to overcome. If Paige has to pick her battles, she’ll always choose to be suited up against Charlie.
—--
2:11: …like I can’t concentrate with all this nonsense happening. I never paid attention in earth sciences because it honestly just seemed fairly useless, given everything else that was going on…
—--
Toward the end of the day, she goes looking for Nika and finds KK and Jana first. Because God clearly has a sense of humor. The two of them — and Kelis — are settled in the conference room arguing about lap differentials. There are six different binders spread open in front of them; Kelis is seated on top of the table, patiently highlighting numbers as she calls them out and Jana inputs them into some kind of spreadsheet.
“Yo,” Paige greets, reaching across the table to dap KK up. “This fucking rain, man.”
“The worst,” Jana agrees. She twists her hair into a high bun, her face shiny from the humidity.
Paige surveys the mess on the table and makes a face. “What are you guys doing?”
“Azzi asked us to run the deltas from wet races and account for the power train differentials,” Jana informs her grumpily.
Paige isn’t surprised at the attitude; it sounds tedious as fuck. “Factory team couldn’t do it?”
KK shrugs. “It’s good to do it on-site. Helps to get familiar with the data. Plus, nobody wanted to wait for the factory team.”
“It’s a punishment,” Kelis announces, ignoring the look of betrayal from KK. “Jana pissed off the weather team.”
That sounds like the more plausible explanation. Paige turns an amused glance to Jana, obviously wanting the scoop.
“What did you do?”
“Bro,” Jana immediately launches. “It was a complete misunderstanding.’
“You told them they’re glorified witch doctors with the competency of a first year Neville Longbottom.”
Jana looks unrepentant. “Actually, I stand by it.”
Kelis sighs and gives Paige the rest of the dirt. “The satellite tech told Azzi she was gonna revoke our database privileges.”
Oof. Paige almost wants to laugh.
“Azzi can’t have taken that well.”
“She ripped them a new one,” Kelis confirms. “But we still have to pay for making her life harder.” She sends a glare at Jana and KK, who don't look at all concerned.
“She’s in with Diana,” KK tells Paige. “If you’re looking for her.”
“I’m not,” Paige lies.
She’s always looking for Azzi. Even when she’s not.
—--
Nika comes to her suite on that night, already dressed in lounge pants and a tank. She has a plethora of sheet masks with her and she shoves Paige into the armchair and plasters a wet napkin onto her face that’s supposedly imbued with the healing properties of a pomegranate.
“This is gross,” Paige complains.
“It’s good for your skin,” Nika reminds her. “Especially you since you’re sitting in a hot box for two hours.”
Paige is lounging in her boxers and a sports bra, the fluffy hotel robe tied loosely about her waist. She’s got her hair thrown on top of her head in a housewife bun, the kind of look she’d never be caught dead in outside her hotel room.
“I’ve got skin like a newborn baby,” she argues.
“More like you are a baby.”
They argue about how to pass the time. It’s a very fancy hotel so every channel known to woman is available. Paige almost makes Nika watch lesbian porn just to fuck with her, but they eventually agree to just play Fortnite instead.
“You want to go on a trip after the end of the season? Oh, fuck they’re on me,” Nika says as the last remaining team in their battle royale creeps up on them. “We could do another house stay? Or go on a road trip, if you aren’t sick of being in a car. You wanna drive down the Portuguese coast? You’ve always wanted to do that.”
“Nah. I just wanna sleep for a hundred years after the end of the season. Oh fuck me they’ve got ice gauntlets. Get in the car!”
This close to a win, they’re both louder, their focus on the TV absolute as they grip their controllers tightly. On screen, Paige drives them up the mountain and they find a better vantage point.
“You gonna go see your pops?”
“Maybe.
“Bringing him to Monaco? Oh get them! Nice one. Take that you pre-pubescant shit.”
Paige shrugs. “Honestly, bro, I hate Monaco.”
She can almost hear Nika’s eyes roll around her head.
“Only you could hate living in the most fabulous and exclusive country in the world.”
“Whatever, it’s stuffy. I can’t breathe there.”
On the screen a Juice WRLD peeks out from the bunker below and disappears. Paige waits for him to do it again then goes for the headshot.
“Fuck yes,” she cries as she eliminates him, pumping her arm in the air when the #1 Victory Royale branding pops up. She and Nika high five, and it’s perfect timing because room service arrives with their fries and shakes. Paige feels a little guilt, but honestly not much; she’s not getting into the car until Friday so it’s not the end of the world to be enjoying some of life’s few victories.
“I think I wanna move,” she says, blurting out the thoughts that have been bouncing around in her head for a while.
Nika looks over in surprise, a fry halfway to her mouth. “For real?”
Paige drinks a few sips of her milkshake and nods. It tastes like happiness and putting teenage boys in their place.
“Yeah. What if I moved to the factory? Into the apartment?”
Nika has a two bedroom flat in Modena and Paige stays with her whenever she needs to be at the factory in Sant’Agata. Nika won’t let her pay for the entire place but Paige bullied her into accepting fifty-fifty. The monthly is pocket change compared to what she pays in Monaco, even with the steep discount that Phee’s fiancé tosses her.
“There’s nothing to do in Modena,” Nika warns. “It’s boring as shit after dark.”
“Yeah, because Brackley was so different,” Paige counters. “And I’m not going clubbing every night in Monaco or trying to hang out on yachts every afternoon so it’s not that much different.”
She likes the yachts but it gets old after a while. Especially without her closest there. Soni won’t be around in the offseason because of her boyfriend, and the other drivers are paired up or have their own things going on. Paige can only third wheel so many times.
“Just feels like a colossal waste of money,” she adds, dunking one of her fries in ketchup. She’s made an extreme exception about letting Nika eat in the bed, because the couch is uncomfortable as shit and the two of them aren’t going to sit at the massive dining table. “And, like. For why?”
For a long moment, Nika’s quiet. She swirls one of her fries through the milkshake because she’s disgusting like that, and munches on it quietly.
“I can get my own place,” Paige continues. “Like, I’m sure you like your space now—”
“Don’t be an idiot,” Nika scoffs. “It’s just different than Brackley, that’s all. I work a lot fucking more now that I’m on the F1 team. I don’t want you moving to the middle of nowhere and thinking it’ll be one way and it not turning out to be what you thought.”
Nika hesitates, like she’s going to say more, and they probably both know what’s likely to come out of her mouth. But she must decide that this isn’t the moment.
“I miss having you around all the time,” she says instead. “You’re my favorite rash.”
She’s bold because she knows Paige won’t shove her and risk getting food all over the bed. And she’s right.
“Love you too, twin.”
—--
The morning show is terrible. Paige is used to waking up before she’d prefer, but going on morning shows is another kind of early. She sits in hair and makeup with her eyes closed, trying to pretend that she’s asleep to trick her mind. DiJonai came with, and hangs around nearby scrolling on her phone.
“Good, you’re here already,” Charlie says, entering the little ready room.
Paige opens an eye and glares at her. “It’s too early in the morning for your bullshit.”
Being that she’s sponsored by the devil, Charlie looks perfect. Her dark navy dress hits right above her knee, the usual style of “business botox” that she embodies so very beautifully. Never trust a ginger, Paige always says. Has said since she encountered Charlie.
“I could say the absolute same, Bueckers. Did you review the talking points that got sent over?”
“Sure did. I can talk all I want about the egregious social inequity in São Paulo, severe traffic issues, and the impact of extreme urbanization on the air pollution. Right?”
Goading Charlie has always been a fun pastime, and a lot has changed in the years since she fucked off to America, but that certainly hasn’t. There’s a lot of pride that Paige takes in the fact that she’s probably one of the few people on earth who can push Charlie’s buttons so beautifully.
“Mention how excited everyone was about the three-year contract renewal,” Charlie says through gritted teeth.
“Got it,” she responds, and gives a little salute.
But Charlie clearly has no belief in Paige’s ability to actually know what she’s doing.
“Do not answer anything about rumors that F1 is bringing another race to South America.”
The makeup artist finishes up, and Paige gives a grateful smile with a murmured obrigado for being made to look presentable for national television. Behind her, DiJonai has put her phone away and is laser focused on the tension that simmers between Paige and Charlie; she’s ready to jump in for whatever Paige needs.
“Charlie,” Paige sighs. “Go jump in the Atlantic.”
It’s going to be a long fucking morning.
—--
By the time Paige arrives at the track following her stint on Brazilian morning television, she’s started to feel the buzzing in her bones. It’s a race weekend, it’s a race weekend, it’s a race weekend. Being around the garage and not in the car is making her skin itch.
And it seems like she’s not the only one.
“I hate these NWP models,” Azzi complains, in a louder tone than Paige thinks she’s probably aware of.
She has her walkie attached to her belt loop like she often does, the weight of it causing her pants to fight the laws of gravity.
“I know. And the team at the factory is aware of your displeasure,” Kelis tells her. To her credit, she keeps her voice absolutely even; Paige is impressed.
“What’s going on?” Paige asks. She gets the delight of Azzi’s full ire directed at her.
“The storm was expected to head inward and decline in strength,” Kelis informs her.
“And it’s not doing that?” Paige guesses.
“No,” Azzi interjects, clipped. “It’s not.”
“It’s shifted to head back to sea. But there’s a warm front coming in from the east,” Kelis adds. “Which means it’s probably just going to hover for a bit right off the coast and drive more rain across the area.”
“Chill, Azzi,” Paige says, because she can’t help but needle her. “I’m good in the rain. We’ll be fine.”
Azzi looks like she’s going to launch across the small space between them and knock Paige’s head off with one glancing blow. In response, Paige can only beam at her.
“Maybe you should…go,” Kelis suggests, no doubt well aware that Azzi’s only recourse is to take her frustration out on her team instead of with Paige.
“I’m due for media, anyway.”
But she lingers for a moment, enjoying the prolonged eye contact. Because there’s something pricking at Paige and she knows Azzi knows; they’re really going to be fucked this weekend. Silverstone was one day of inclement weather and if this rain keeps up.
Well.
“I’ll see you later,” she tosses at Azzi, because that’s who Paige is. Then she ducks away and heads to do her press interview.
—--
It’s the worst possible driver combination that Paige could have imagined. She sits between Sabrina and Caitlin, cold from the air conditioning on her already wet hair, shirt, and jeans.
“Paige, do you feel like Interlagos means more now that you’ve led the championship and are within striking distance of the lead again?”
It’s so awkward, God it’s so horribly awkward.
“Like I said, it doesn’t matter about my personal points. Last week was disappointing because of what I didn’t bring home for the team. I’m only focused on that.”
She wishes she had gum, but CD made her spit it out before she walked into the press room.
Beside her, Sabrina’s sitting pretty. She’s not the kind of person who has nervous energy — she’s too serial killer focused for that — but her unnatural stillness is really disconcerting. On Paige’s other side, Caitlin keeps twitching and readjusting; it’s driving Paige fucking crazy.
“Sabrina, there’s been a lot of chatter this week about Paige’s success driving in the rain. Any of that a concern for you?”
Jesus. Paige does everything in her power to keep her facial expression from changing.
“I’ve had success at Interlagos in the past,” Sabrina answers, totally monotone. “I know this track in an F1 car. Success in F2 and F3 doesn’t always translate here.”
For fuck’s sake. Paige internally sighs, more annoyed than insulted. If Sab could just keep her goddamn mouth shut they wouldn’t have to go through this bullshit.
“Paige, any response?”
“No.”
CD would be proud of her.
Afterward, the three of them trudge out together, each of them careful not to touch or bump or get into each other’s space. Surprisingly, it’s Caitlin who breaks first.
“Was that really necessary,” she mutters, throwing Sabrina an annoyed glance. They’re holed up in the green room, waiting for security to announce their covered golf carts are ready so they can be transferred back to the main part of the paddock without getting caught in the deluge.
“They asked a question,” Sabrina says as she shrugs. “I answered it.”
“You answered it and opened us up to another round of bullshit questions,” Caitlin bites out. She looks like an owl with her eyes so wide.
“You got anything to add?” Sabrina spits at Paige.
“Seems like you got enough to say for both of us,” Paige answers, her words syrupy slow. She doesn’t have any reason to get into it with Sabrina but she’s also not someone who ever walks away from the disrespect.
Sabrina doesn’t reply, doesn’t rise to the bait, doesn’t escalate. Her assessing eye roves over Paige, like she’s trying to figure something out. Whatever she takes from the interaction, Paige doesn’t know.
Why did Azzi visit you over summer break? Do you know why she left Mercedes?
She wonders if Sabrina would tell her, if she were to ask. But Paige can’t be that soft with another driver who isn’t Soni; she’s not going to make herself an easier target than she already is. Formula 1 is about more than just what you can do on a track, and Sab and Azzi seem to have some kind of perplexing bond. She’s not going to wade into waters she can’t see into just to ask questions she doesn’t know the answer to.
"Be a robot if you like," Sab says, moving her gaze away from Paige and back to Caitlin. "That's not how I drive."
Caitlin clenches her jaw and brushes past Sabrina, who clearly doesn't have any trouble picking fights today. And Paige really isn't trying to make it worse so she follows Caitlin out at a measured pace. Not running away, but choosing not to stay.
The three of them sit silently on the golf cart as they’re driven away from the Interlagos HQ building and back to the garage. The poor minion assigned to shuttle them around must be able to feel the tension, but none of them make any effort to diffuse the atmosphere.
It’s raining too hard for any kind of conversation, anyway.
—--
The afternoon strategy meeting goes well.
“Our goal this weekend is to be early, not reactive,” Azzi says.
She and Caroline typically alternate on running the Thursday briefing, depending on Dorka’s schedule. But Dorka is holed up on a conference call and Paige doesn’t have a lot of interest in what she has to say anyway, after the cluster fuck in Austin.
There are really only two people that Paige trusts with her life; Azzi and Nika. She doesn’t know what she’ll do on the day that they disagree.
“Interlagos drains unevenly. Sector 2 will stay wet longer than Sector 1.”
“If it stops raining,” Paige says, interrupting.
Azzi looks at her, annoyed at the interjection. “Yes, Paige. If it stops raining.”
God, Azzi looks good. Her hair is even curlier because of the rain and humidity; it keeps getting wet and then drying and it means her curls are out of control. The ringlets look like they would wind around Paige’s fingers beautifully, like she could tug and pull them with gusto because they’d just bounce right back into place. She imagines what it might be like to be able to win at Interlagos and get a congratulatory kiss from Azzi. That type of thing was never going to be a possibility for her, not with the original plan of them working for other teams and it’s not possible now with them both at Lamborghini, but it means Paige can freely fantasize about it.
“People suffer here because they hesitate and we’re not doing that. We’re making gains this weekend by being in front. By going bold and going strong.”
And now Azzi’s talking dirty, which makes it all the worse.
“We’ll be relying on driver feedback, so Paige and Soni, we want to hear from you this weekend. Everything and anything.”
She wants Paige to yap at her through the headset? Paige is happy to accommodate.
“We also have a smaller pit lap delta because of the short on/off. Twenty second loss. That works in our favor too.”
The meeting continues; general outline of the race weekend and their goals for the strategy sessions, recon on what other teams will be likely to focus on, additional technical information about the track.
Paige listens and takes notes; she’s been studying her pre-race assignments and she knows Interlagos as a track. Because it looks simple, but the Autódromo José Carlos Pace is brutal. The combination of layout, elevation, and how little margin there is for error would make it difficult enough. Add in inclement weather and low visibility and it changes everything.
But she’s ready.
She’s fucking ready.
—--
Paige gets summoned to Diana’s makeshift office at HQ before the day is over, and the reasoning doesn’t make her happy.
“You’re joking.”
Diana stares at her, eyebrows raised. The Lamborghini Team Principal doesn’t have time to waste on bullshit like this and they both know it. Standing next to the desk, CD sighs.
“What if this wasn’t a big deal and you just said yes and got it over with quickly?”
Paige turns a glare toward CD. “No.”
In front of her, Diana rubs the bridge of her nose. Her eyebrows are pinched together in frustration and Paige can feel the ice beneath her feet getting thinner with each passing moment. Diana’s been under so much stress, she’s wound so very tight. And things with Sue Bird haven’t settled; gossip on the paddock is they’re still on the outs.
“They’ve asked, Paige, and I’m inclined to say yes. This is their third request in a month. You were a big draw on that morning show today.”
Paige hasn’t had to worry about the Netflix docuseries Drive to Survive all season. With Soni the only driver taking part from Lamborghini, it isn’t even something that’s been on Paige’s radar.
“We agreed at the beginning of the year,” Paige reminds Diana. “One driver from Lamborghini was enough, and Soni’s been subjected to this nonsense for months now. I don’t understand why there’s so much desire to change it up mid-season.”
“Because nobody thought you’d be in any kind of position to win at the beginning of the season,” CD says, stating the obvious. She looks a little too happy about Paige’s misery.
It makes everything inside Paige recoil. She doesn’t mind the brand deals and the photoshoots because that feels like a different beast; it’s just her image, it’s just her touting a few lines in commercials, or random shit like that. But this — this is different. This is quiet and close up and people who are in the know asking probing questions. It’s needling when she’s vulnerable and creative editing. It’s giving someone else the ability to control the narrative.
And if there’s anything Paige hates, it’s giving up the power to control her own narrative. Especially given the events of the last year.
“The point of having only Soni take part was to raise her profile.”
“Soni was always going to take part, and so were you,” Diana reminds Paige. “Now things are different; you’re a serious contender for the championship this year and Lamborghini is leading in the Constructors’ and I want to maximize on that.”
“We don’t control the editing,” she says, trying one last time to talk Diana out of it.
“So don’t say anything stupid,” Diana says with a wave of her hand. “They’re expecting you for an interview before you leave the track for the day.”
It’s a dismissal, and it takes all of Paige’s self restraint not to stomp her way out of the office suite. Unsurprisingly, she’s only one in a line of people who want Diana’s time; the woman with the braids from earlier — Sarah Strong, her brain supplies — is sitting on the bench in the waiting area.
They nod at each other, but Paige is too worked up to really put any thought into the interaction; she storms away and Paige fumes all the way back to the garage. She finds DiJonai and unloads as she paces back and forth in her ready room, her hair a frizzy mess and her frustration bubbling over.
But DiJonai only surveys Paige with skepticism. “So you’re upset over having to give an interview? I really don’t see the problem.”
“I have to sit for a recording at the beginning and end of every race weekend,” she corrects, because she’s a professional driver and her time being wasted is important. “Dissecting what went wrong or how I fucked up and all that bullshit. And they’re always digging for a story to make drama. I don’t want any part of it.”
Paige had been a mess at the beginning of the season; she’d been angry with Azzi and furious with herself and generally pissed at the world. It had taken everything in her to play nice at work and she hadn’t even been that successful, given how bad things had been with Azzi. Taking part in Drive to Survive and opening herself to that kind of insight and scrutiny hadn’t been a good idea. She’s lucky that Diana either realized that or just didn’t care enough to disagree.
“All you have to do is talk about how excited you are and how difficult the track is,” DiJonai reminds her. “That’s literally it.”
It’s hard to explain. Paige doesn’t even really have the words, only a deep feeling of reluctance. Maybe part of her had wanted to avoid the docuseries on the off chance Azzi changed her mind about them, about working with Lamborghini, about any and all things. The last thing she needed — or needs, really — is for the camera crew to pick up on any of her feelings. On any dynamics.
But Paige sighs and tells herself that things are different now. That this is where she’s meant to be, and she’s capable. They want her because she led the championship, because she’s still a contender. And she doesn’t have to give them a sound bite that they can use against her interests; all she needs to do is stay on message.
So she walks back to the HQ building and shakes hands with the recording crew, introducing herself and swallowing the frustration in lieu of learning what’ll be expected of her. They put a little make up on her, but she insists on a more natural look. The last thing she fucking needs is to look like a child beauty pageant contestant.
The wardrobe is easy, at least; a crisp Lamborghini polo and the team hat.
They get her into the chair, under the lights and across from the camera. It all feels strange, because this is different from the other ways she does publicity or press. Everything else feels like a persona, even the interviews. This is longer, more serious, more probing.
The cameras start rolling, even as the assistant is finalizing attaching the lavalier microphone to Paige’s collar and testing the sound quality.
“Just introduce yourself and say what team you drive for,” the coordinator says. “Do you know the team name?”
Paige scoffs with bravado; she knows it’ll come across as charming. This is who they want.
“‘Course I know the team name. Did Soni, the first time?”
“She needed a little help.”
This is all going to air. Netflix loves a good moment. So Paige readjusts herself a little, then looks at the camera with a big, self satisfactory grin.
Her moneymaker, her agent always says.
“I’m Paige Bueckers. I drive for Scuderia Lamborghini Corse Velocità Formula One Team.”
—--
She ducks in to say goodnight to Nika before she leaves the track for the day. It’s still raining, still humid; everything feels like it’s taking extra effort.
“Get outta my seat,” she grumbles, frowning as Nika wiggles her bony ass and makes herself even more comfortable in the cockpit. A few feet away, Georgia is knelt near the front wheels with a digital reader that’s hooked up through a long cord to somewhere underneath the car.
“It’s not your seat,” Nika murmurs, though she’s distracted with making notes.
“Um, beg to disagree. That’s my number on the nose.”
“PB5,” Nika mutters. “So humble.”
“It’s cute how you drivers are possessive over a hunk of metal,” Georgia comments, and Paige flips her off immediately.
She gives them the rundown of Drive to Survive, complaining about it being a waste of time and regurgitating all the silly questions they made her answer in a confessional style recording. Nika tells her they haven’t had any update on the weather front and Georgia unhelpfully adds that Azzi is ready to put her fist through a wall. None of it is surprising; Azzi gets annoyed with any problem that can’t be answered by mathematics.
“I’ll pop in before I head out.”
“Because that will improve her mood for sure,” Georgia laughs.
“Whatchu talking about,” Paige laughs. “My presence is always a delight.”
But she goes to find Azzi anyway, because Azzi taking out frustration on her team isn’t Paige’s problem. And when she does find Azzi, it’s to the absolutely glorious version of her yelling in Italian.
“Francisco, questo è assolutamente inaccettabile. Non puoi continuare a cambiarmi le previsioni ogni ora. Non posso prendere decisioni basate sull'incompetenza.”
Azzi’s standing next to the table in the conference room, furiously swiping through something on her tablet as she expresses her frustration on the conference speakerphone. When she looks up and sees Paige, her expression darkens even further.
Paige takes it as an invitation.
“Hey,” she whispers, stepping closer.
“Quanto tempo impiegherà il vostro team per effettuare un'altra valutazione?” Azzi’s tone drops into something even more deadly as she speaks to whoever’s on the other end, maintaining eye contact with Paige. “Parla con loro proprio ora e chiedi. Voglio una risposta vera. Aspetterò.”
She pushes mute on the conference phone. “What.”
Paige grins. “Can’t I say hi?”
Azzi lifts an eyebrow. “I don’t know what you think you’re about this weekend, but you need to knock it the fuck off.”
Paige leans a hip against the conference table, the most angelic expression she can possibly make plastered across her face.
“Don’t know what you mean,” she says, her eyes wide.
"I know what you're doing," Azzi accuses. "You're trying to rile me up."
"Genuinely don't know what you're talking about," she lies. If Azzi were actually angry they both know Paige would knock it off. "You ready for this weekend?"
That only serves to make Azzi's jawline tighter.
"Am I ready for this weekend? Fuck right off, Paige, and wipe that stupid goddamn smirk off your face. A rain race is nothing to smile about."
Paige shrugs. This is a dynamic that feels so familiar it might as well be a year ago, messing about during a race.
"I mean, I'm good in the rain."
"I will absolutely not deal with bullshit this weekend," Azzi warns her. "We have a strategy; we are going to execute on that strategy."
"Course we are," Paige agrees, as genially as she can. "You maxed out on steak or you wanna grab a bite?"
She doesn't bat her eyes, but it's a near thing.
Azzi's eyes are dark: lightning flickers in them, ready to fry Paige.
"Get out," she orders, and Paige stands up.
"I'm goin," she says as she backs away. "I'll see you tomorrow."
—--
The bravado of who she has to be falls away as she sits in the car on the way back to the hotel.
Her forehead tips against the window, the glass cool against her skin. It's always her preference to drive herself around, but it was an unequivocal no from the team lawyers; the insurance on her or Soni would be insane and the admin folks were super clear that they weren't having it. Paige isn't concerned about being kidnapped; too many times she’s been told she would be too much trouble for anyone to keep for long.
But now that she’s alone, she’s having trouble wading through how she feels, as the adrenaline of being around other people wears off. It’s strange to have everything feel so up and down; the ups being Azzi’s presence and how Paige is feeling about the track and the downs being all the bullshit that surrounds everything in F1. She refuses to consider that Azzi is anything but a net positive in her life.
There are people waiting at the gate as the car pulls into the hotel area. Fans or paparazzi; the windows are too tinted for anyone to know it’s her and she’s glad for the anonymity. She doesn’t feel up to being Paige Bueckers tonight.
The hotel suite is absurd; it has a dining room. A dining room with an enormous table. What could Paige possibly want in a giant suite that has a dining table that can seat twelve? She’s not running a Last Supper situation.
But she will avail herself of the giant fruit basket that’s been left in the middle.
There’s a voice memo from Azzi on her phone. Paige looks at it and her heart is already racing, her vena cava quivering deep inside her chest. She doesn’t know how to do this anymore, how to keep the balance where it’s comfortable and not dangerous.
It feels like everything is conspiring against her; every external force is pushing her into the state of mind that makes her do crazy shit. Charlie. Sabrina. The rain. It’s like every little bit adds pressure, sits on her shoulders and settles her spine into formation. It whispers in her ear, a soft little this is who she’s meant to be. Like the snake in the Garden of Eden; Paige knows her scripture. She’s living out her own Book of Genesis.
Paige sits at her dining room table and picks a fruit at random. It’s green and oblong. She’s never seen it and doesn’t know what it is.
But she has an app for this. There’s an app for everything. Except for what she really, really needs.
—--
20 seconds: I know you think you’re cute, you really do, but don’t you dare try something crazy this weekend, Paige. I mean it.
—--
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
“Paige,” Azzi warns, glaring her way. She’s clearly annoyed with the restless energy Paige is putting into the room.
Whatever. She can’t help it. She’s buzzing and everyone knows it; Paige can’t even find it in herself to be apologetic.
But she does stop tapping her pen against the table.
The clock on the wall ticks down to the start of FP1; twenty-eight minutes. But there’s no way. Not with the rain as heavy as it is.
“So just to repeat back,” Caroline is saying, hunched over the conference phone, “you estimate that it could be anywhere between thirty minutes and two hours of rain at this intensity?”
At her side, Azzi looks like she’s ready to toss herself out of the garage and swim her way around the track.
“That is correct,” the heavily accented voice on the other end of the conference phone says.
“I can’t live like this,” Caroline sighs, pressing mute on the conference phone and turning her head to Azzi. “What do you want to do? Dorka’s on a call with the Aero team.”
Azzi runs her hands through her hair, and Paige is surprised that actual clumps don’t come with them when she brings her hands down and presses them together.
“Okay. Okay. Let’s break into Rain 1 protocol. I want every single thing triple checked. Quadruple checked, even. On my team, Jana and KK will run point. Get assignments and report up to them. Caroline?”
Azzi stands up as Caroline gives her own set of instructions. Paige doesn't have to pay attention anymore because Caroline isn't her senior race strategist. Instead, she swivels her chair in Azzi’s direction.
“Go find something useful to do,” Azzy says to Paige before picking up her pace and striding out of the room.
“Useful,” Paige mutters. “Like I’m not useful around here for what I do in the car.”
She hears an undignified snort and turns to see Kelis, who blushes at being caught. Paige raises an eyebrow and Kelis scurries off.
“No appreciation for your talent,” Soni coos.
“Long suffering me,” Paige agrees.
—--
Paige is zero percent surprised when race officials announce that the start to FP1 will be delayed by at least one hour. The rain is pounding the track; there’s very little visibility and nobody wants a bunch of crashes in a practice session.
“The two of you couldn’t find anything else to do?” Jana asks as she passes by them in the hallway. “Where did you even find a fútbol?”
Soni traps the ball with her left foot and sends it arching back to Paige. It lands neatly at her feet. Suspicious. Her boyfriend must be teaching her.
“It’s Brazil,” Paige shrugs, providing no additional explanation.
“If Azzi and Caroline hear that you two are out here playing games instead of reading delta reports—”
“Bro, there’s nothing useful in the delta reports.”
Soni snorts. “I mean, she’s right,” she appeals to Jana, who looks scandalized by Paige’s sacrilegious statement. “Not with this rain.”
Jana leaves them be, though Paige assumes it’s because she doesn’t want to get caught too near the crime of goofing around when there’s actual work to be done. She and the rest of the engineering team are scrambling, because everyone wants answers and nobody’s going to get them until the cars actually get onto the track and data comes back on how they behave in the rain. With the elevation changes it’s going to be brutal.
They kill twenty minutes passing the soccer ball back and forth, chatting idly about paddock gossip, until word reaches them that the engineers are ready to meet.
Everyone is set up in the garage; the heart of the engineering team is gathered around one of the big monitors, watching the reassessed deltas coming in. Paige situates herself in the back, leaning against a tool cabinet.
“Your thirst is unknown to human kind,” Soni laughs at Paige, eyeing the unzipped racing overalls that hang down and the way she’s shed the fireproof turtleneck and tied it around her waist. It leaves Paige in only her sports bra.
“It’s humid as shit,” she waves Soni off. “And you’re one to talk,” she adds, eying the loose tank top that Soni’s donned that shows off more than it covers.
“Nope. Thirsty.”
Paige rolls her eyes, and pulls out her phone to check her messages. At the front of the group, Azzi’s yapping about the weather.
“...so we should expect the rain to stick around. We’ve also been warned that lightning is expected and if that’s spotted, we’re looking at thirty minute window delays. This might be a bumpy day.”
Azzi goes on for another ten minutes, giving more of an overview of the day and the weather expectations, and answers a few questions from various team members.
“Any other questions?”
Azzi’s eyes drift over the crowd. Because Paige is in the back — and because she’s super invested in everything Azzi does — she’s probably the only person who notices the way Azzi glances at her three times over the course of ten seconds. Like she can’t help herself.
Like Monza all over again.
“I guess your thirst pays off,” Soni muses, clearly catching it as well.
“Shut the fuck up,” Paige hisses, turning red. But she can’t help the way her lips turn up at the ends.
—--
She jumps out of the car when FP1 ends and water drips from her overalls onto the cement of the garage floor. KK swoops in to pat at her with a towel, vigorously drying Paige off.
“Hold on,” she says, and undoes the clips so she can take the helmet off, finally emerging into relief. “Jeez Louise, ease up!”
KK only twists the towel and snaps it at her.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“You fucking know what it’s for,” KK glares at her.
And, well, maybe Paige does.
She’s not going to get changed completely because it’s too much hassle, but Paige undoes the top of her racing overalls and lets them hang, then peels off the fireproof turtleneck again as well. Across the garage, Nika eyes her and rolls her eyes.
“It’s so freaking humid,” Paige says, her tone just a hair short of whiny.
And it is humid; the heat and the rain is a disgusting combination.
“She wants to see you,” KK informs Paige.
“Wonderful,” Paige says with a smile. “I love being yelled at. Also, see if we can add something to the back of my gloves so I can swipe at the visor; even at speed it was hard to see with rain on it.”
She loves the helmet that she’s wearing this weekend. F1 drivers like to customize the skins on the helmet; it’s the only way they can show personality through fashion on the track. Everything else is sponsor branded and subject to regulations, but for some reason the helmets haven’t been brought under scrutiny yet. Like a few of the other drivers on the grid, Paige has a special helmet this weekend; it’s yellow with blue, an homage to the Brazilian flag and there’s a watercolor depiction of Ayrton Senna on the back.
It’s good luck, she tells herself.
Paige hands KK the helmet and her in-ears and scrapes her hair into a ponytail. It’s always better to have her hair tied back when she goes into battle.
Azzi’s in the conference room and she’s got murder in her eyes; the genuine kind, the kind that really, really means that Paige’s life is in jeopardy. Her eyes flick over Paige for a nanosecond and then she’s right back to glaring.
It was a good choice, to shed the fireproof turtleneck and show off her ab muscles. Paige is acing all her decisions today.
“What were you thinking,” Azzi says, very much a statement and not a question. “We had a plan. We went over the plan. You said you were clear on the plan.”
Paige leans against the doorframe, her arms crossed. She doesn’t clench her abs on purpose, it’s just what happens.
“I sent you out on full wets to make the most of the thirty minutes,” Azzi reminds her, though it sounds more like an accusation than a retelling of what happened. “Three laps to warm-up and get a baseline. You wanted ride height and I gave it to you. Fine. Another three to get better data and then two laps to push at the target delta, and in-lap break temps.”
Azzi’s really gathering momentum now. Behind her, Paige can see Blanca and Morgan exchange a look. Jana pops a jelly bean in her mouth like it’s popcorn at a movie theater.
“You can’t just decide to experiment, Paige.” Azzi starts to pace, just little back and forth movements that hardly count as steps. “I know you think the deltas aren’t the most important indicator but we’ve got to get those. You went so far off the line through Curva do Sol you were into standing water. You should have lifted. You know the tyres were overheating. Genuinely, what the fuck were you thinking?”
Paige arches an eyebrow. “I was thinking it’s definitely going to rain all weekend and I wanted to know how the wets actually behave.”
“You stayed north of seventy percent throttle,” Azzi hisses, like Paige has committed a cardinal sin.
“I don’t like lifting if I don’t need to. The rear hooked up mid-corner instead of snapping.”
“You got greedy,” Azzi accuses, pointing her finger at Paige. She looks so angry it’s almost cute. Like an old school cartoon. But, of course, still gorgeous.
Paige pauses, wondering if thinking such thoughts about Azzi is anti-feminist. Is she being patronizing?
“I wouldn’t say greedy,” she says, after a moment, once she’s pulled her thoughts back to the argument at hand. “Just wanted to know the lay of the land. Test the water, really.”
She smiles, pleased with the wordplay.
Naturally, that’s what really pushes Azzi over the edge. Her fingers twitch, like maybe she’s going to slap Paige, or try to strangle her. Such violence between them. It really is their own little love language, a true hallmark of their friendship.
“Figuring out the lay of the land—”
“Testing the water—”
“Fine, testing the fucking water! You got greedy and added more throttle and couldn’t control the massive snap oversteer and you spun out.”
It really looks like Azzi’s going to break her rule of no violence in the garage and try to beat the everloving shit out of Paige.
God, Paige hasn’t had this much fun in ages.
“There was no damage to the car.”
“Luckily. You could have crashed.”
“Extreme assessment,” Paige disagrees. “But I didn’t. She’s fully intact.”
“You have a flat spot on your back right and you burned a set of full wet tyres. I swear to god, I can’t with you drivers sometimes, always thinking you know better about everything. We planned for a long-run comparison and now we have nothing to compare it to.”
Paige isn’t worried because they’ll be able to get what they need in FP2, and it’ll definitely still be raining.
“I need to stretch with DiJonai,” she says, pushing off the doorframe. “My shoulder’s feeling a little tight.”
“I swear to god, Paige—”
“Take a look at the data,” Paige suggests. “And come find me.”
She can see the astonishment on Kaleigh’s face, the genuine amusement on Jana’s. Even Gandy looks skeptical. But this is a far cry from the fights Paige and Azzi had at the beginning of the season. Those were…mean, and messy. Full of digs and genuine anger that originated far from the track. Azzi’s team can see how different things feel now. Paige assumes they’re relieved by the new dynamic.
With a nod, she walks away.
—--
It takes forty-five minutes for Azzi to find Paige.
It’s forty minutes more than Azzi likely needed to find the gem in the data readouts, plus another ten for her to make the team re-calculate and cross check the numbers. And then it would have taken her another fifteen minutes to stew about the entire situation, and she’d have needed time to debrief the rest of the data readouts with her team.
All to say, Azzi walks into the hospitality suite right about when Paige expects her to.
“You can’t just go all Maverick,” Azzi says, dripping water all over the table.
Per usual, she looks like she didn’t even bother with an umbrella when she dashed across the paddock. The suspicion is confirmed when Paige sees Kelis enter the hospitality suite, holding the umbrella and Azzi’s rain jacket, like she ran after her.
“Feels like maybe it paid off,” Paige suggests.
“Just because you got lucky doesn’t excuse you from doing stupid shit,” Azzi snaps.
It’s not that Paige has low self preservation instincts. It’s that she clearly doesn’t have any value for her life. That must be why she can’t help but grin.
“Was the down arc in the data beautiful? It just nosedived, right?”
She sees the way Azzi’s nose wrinkles, the minute little twitch that says how annoyed she is that Paige found some use from spinning out and getting back onto the track.
Because the tyres are overheating, even in the heavy rain; Interlagos is known for having an incredibly abrasive asphalt and it cooks the rubber quickly.
But when Paige spun out and moved off-line, her rear slip got better. When she wasn’t on the racing line — which is always going to be the driest part of the track — she had more grip because of the deeper water. It cooled the tyre surface.
“You didn’t say anything on the radio.”
“Because I can keep my fucking mouth shut.”
Azzi’s eyebrows raise. “Beg to differ.”
She and Azzi stare at each other for a moment.
It’s already miserably hot in São Paulo. If anyone had asked Paige, she’d have said she didn’t know how it could possibly get any hotter.
But she’d have been wrong. She’d have been very, very wrong.
—--
There are no big blowups during FP2.
It’s not exactly smooth sailing since it’s fucking pouring down rain, but Paige manages to make do and get all the necessary laps in. They test a little bit on the earlier theory that the deeper water just off the racing line cools the tyres, but they do it quietly; she complains on the radio about losing her grip and sliding around. Subterfuge is a common enough practice in Formula 1 and Paige will take any advantage she can get.
The debrief sessions also go without incident, though Paige does feel like she’s in a crockpot and the dial is being slowly turned from low to high.
Eventually, all bad things come to an end and make way for more bad things. She and Soni groan when it comes time to leave for the driver briefing; going back through the rain is as unwelcome a prospect as sitting in a room with the grumpiest and most aggressive bunch of racecar drivers known to womankind. But even as they grumble, they gather their things and start to leave.
“Paige,” Azzi calls, her voice soft among the din of the engineering chatter. She waits for Paige to pause and turn back before continuing. “Mercedes will push for an automatic VSC if visibility gets bad on the run to Turn 4.”
Paige holds her gaze for a moment, then nods. “Okay.”
—--
40 seconds: …be careful this weekend. I know you think you’ve got it all handled but Interlagos has a way about her.
—--
On their way to the briefing meeting, Paige and Soni make a plan.
“Visibility and grip first?”
“Yeah,” Soni agrees. And then safety car versus virtual safety car. Caroline wants an answer on formation lap too.”
“Turn 4 as well,” Paige mutters. “This is going to be a fucking shit show.”
She’s not wrong. The atmosphere inside the drivers’ briefing room is tense with simmering frustration and animosity. Lamborghini has a good fucking lead in the Constructors’ Championship and it means everyone else is feeling the pressure. Paige wants to remind them all that she and Soni have the most pressure, because everything is a competition and what’s the point of being alive if you aren’t trying to win?
“Is there going to be a mandated switch point?”
Paige has to work hard not to physically let her eyes roll out of her head at Aliyah Boston’s question.
Behind her, Kah isn’t as polite.
“Rook, it’s gonna rain all weekend,” she calls. A few of the other drivers — specifically AT — chuckle in agreement. “Ain’t nobody getting onto inters.”
“Not a rookie,” Aliyah reminds Kah, loudly. She’s really in a mood now, and Paige sighs at the way the meeting has gone off the rails so very quickly.
“To be fair,” Cam says to Aliyah, not trying to keep her voice down, “she calls everyone younger than her a rookie.”
Paige wants to bash her head against a wall.
“We don’t have a mandated switch point,” Cathy says from her position at the front of the room. She’s standing behind a podium like she always does, but this far into the season it feels particularly ridiculous. It’s only the twenty of them plus Cathy’s two assistants in this room; there’s no need for a media posture when nobody from the media is present.
“So it’s just like, a ‘hope and pray’ situation?” KMac’s feeling spicy. Paige can feel her disdain from five seats away.
“Race Control is monitoring the situation very closely,” Cathy assures them. “If we see the track carrying more standing water than would be safe for intermediate tyres, it is possible that full wet tyres will be ordered. Or the opposite. We’re monitoring.”
Everyone grumbles about that, because a situation necessitating wet tyres is more likely than not a situation where a red flag should definitely be called.
“Every weather report available in this hemisphere is projecting heavy rain and high winds,” Phee says. She’s got a McLaren binder with her, like the good girl that she is. “What’s the max point Race Control will allow before calling for a red flag?”
“I’m not prepared to share a number with you; if conditions are unsafe, we will red flag.”
They’ll let it go long, though, because even though hosting a race in São Paulo at the beginning of the rainy season makes no fucking sense, Formula 1 needs to get the most out of the weekend. There’s a lot of money on the line, and it always comes down to money.
“Fine,” Sabrina calls from the middle of the room. “What about visibility at Turn 4. If we can’t see then it should be an automatic VSC.”
Damn. Paige should have been faster.
“Even if visibility is low, we might still have grip,” she says, interjecting herself. It’s probably the most combative thing she’s ever said to Sabrina, and the look Sabrina sends Paige makes it clear that she fucking knows it.
“Grip doesn’t make a difference if we can’t see anything,” Sabrina rebuts, and everyone is taking notice now.
Something that Paige hasn’t focused on this season is that Sabrina’s the reigning world champion. Two time reigning world champion, actually. She knows a thing or two about driving, and Paige has been so laser focused on everything happening off track that it’s been a while since she’s really thought about what it means to be a contender against Sabrina when they’re in the cars. Not since Silverstone.
And the truth is, you don’t get to be a driver at this level without knowing where your talent is strongest and where you fall short.
Without knowing the same about the other drivers. So she pushes.
“I mean, are we going racing or are we going for a drive behind a VSC or safety car?”
It sounds brash even to her own ears, but sometimes persona means more than people give it credit for. Certainly more than Azzi ever gives it credit for.
She’s setting herself up and she knows it, but Paige has been aching for a chance to put her elbows out and clash with Sab. She can only do it on the track, or about the track, which isn’t what she really wants but she’ll take what she can get. Seems like Interlagos is going to be the place that happens.
“You haven’t even driven this track in an F1 race yet,” Sabrina scoffs.
“What’s the answer?” Paige asks Cathy, who’s draped herself over the podium and looks tired of being the referee between two toddlers. The expression on her face is one of extreme exhaustion; Paige almost feels bad for her.
“No absolutes,” Cathy answers. “If it’s unsafe we’ll red flag, as I said.”
Well, Cathy can get fucked.
The meeting continues like that. Track limits, the formation lap, restart conditions; it goes on and on and on. The drivers who are more confident in the rain ask for explicit parameters so they can push, and the drivers who aren’t as comfortable ask for earlier intervention. Sabrina doesn’t say anything else and neither does Paige, but it feels like they’re both extraordinarily aware of each other.
By the time they hit the seventy-five minute mark, Veronica and Jackie have outright argued and Phee has straight up started painting her nails.
“Alright that’s all we can do for tonight. If you have additional requests you can run them through team channels to the stewards,” Cathy says, ignoring the groans that permeate the room.
“What’s the point of doing it if you aren’t doing it right,” Kah mutters.
Paige doesn’t care about any of it; people are whining and moaning about the rain but she just wants to race. A wet track has never been an issue for her and she’s not about to believe that Brazil of all places is where that will change.
Azzi would call her delusional. Nika would agree.
Paige wants to walk away from the driver briefing room so quickly it would probably verge on sprinting, but she forces herself to relax and appear chill. Of course, Soni’s taking her sweet fucking time yapping with Kate, and it means that by the time they make their way out they’re practically shoulder to shoulder with the Mercedes drivers.
“After you, rookie,” Sab says with a smile. Her face is so angular it’s hard to tell if it’s a sneer or just how her muscles work. Unless she’s got a giant grin on her face she always looks angry.
“Really,” she mutters, and though Paige truly doesn’t mean for Sabrina to overhear, it’s obviously her shitty luck that the Ionescu family has fucking bat hearing.
“What’s your problem,” Sabrina says, calling the question between them as they walk down the hall.
Two steps ahead of them, Soni slows her gait even as her head is turned to something else. Ride or die. In more ways than one.
“What’s my problem?” Paige asks, turning to post up just a little. She’s escalating with no good reason, really. Based on the look Soni tosses back at her, that’s clearly apparent. “I don’t got a problem, bro. Can’t speak the same for you.”
Sabrina opens her mouth to respond but right as she does, Sophie Cunningham walks by.
“Oooh, trouble in paradise,” she coos in her stupid, annoying sing-song voice.
“Shut the fuck up, Sophie.”
“Shut the fuck up, Sophie.”
Paige and Sab say it in unison, barely sparing Sophie a glare.
Of course, it makes Soni snort and she has to smother it with a little cough because neither Paige nor Sab so much as crack a smile; even ganging up on Sophie isn’t enough to diffuse the pressure in the air.
“You’re in over your fucking head,” Sabrina says. The worst part is she doesn’t even say it with any bite. She says it like she knows it’s true. Like she’s just telling Paige a fact that Paige ought to already know.
And that’s the part that really fucking digs at Paige, like a suckerpunch low in the stomach. No way to block properly and really goddamn painful because it’s such a surprise move.
“You’d think that, wouldn’t you,” Paige spits, suddenly glad to let out the frustration she’s been keeping inside her chest. It’s taken voice and shape, morphing so rapidly its growth feels almost alarming.
“God. The things you don’t know are eating at you. You want to know it all so badly, don’t you?” The words sound strange coming from Sab’s mouth in such a unique tone; a dichotomy between mockery and concern.
If the driver briefing went off the rails, this is something in the vicinity of an epic crash. Messy, bloody, high casualty count. Soni starts to edge closer but Paige keeps her at bay with a quick flick of her eyes.
Paige tries not to take the feint, but it’s hard — this is her life. This is her fucking life.
“It’s not good to keep your feelings all bottled up,” Sab continues to goad. Her eyes narrow on Paige’s face before she gives an amused huff.
But Paige is done keeping her mouth shut.
“Fuck you, Sab. I don’t—”
“I’ll tell you.”
The words don’t echo or drop like an anvil. They’re just words. Just three words.
A contraction.
An irregular verb.
A second-person personal pronoun.
Three easy words, meaningless on their own and strung together with massive implication. Like holding a firework. Or a bomb.
“Sab.”
Paige can’t breathe.
“I’ll tell you,” Sabrina says again. “But you have to ask.”
One minute, Paige is the best player to ever touch a basketball. One play later, she's the worst player ever with zero IQ and should retire. 1 pass to Azzi, OMG it's the coldest duo in the nation. Misses 1 pass, Paige hates her and is jealous, I hope the whole team loses. Jess makes 1 pass to Azzi, OMG she is the only one that wants Azzi to succeed, let's ship them. Only has 1 assist, silence. Damned if they do, damned if they don't. Sometimes fans become the biggest trolls. The doom posting before, during, and after each game is borderline psychotic. The narratives that are pulled out of thin air are disgusting. Paige and Azzi are not losing sleep over your mental breakdowns. Let's support our favorite players in more healthy ways. Constructive criticism is fine, but slander is a projection of your own insecurities. Please touch grass as you all log off for the night. If you think this message is for you, I hope it was received🤷♀️
interesting game to say the least. wait actually it was the opposite of interesting lol
okay that wasn’t a pretty game, BUTT imo, a win is a win. like yall won’t believe me when i tell you dallas would not have won this game last year even if seattle played like they did.
it was cool to see maddy start. she’s always a hustler. despite the bad shooting, she was also flirting with a double double (9 points and 9 boards)
azzi was really effective on both sides of the ball, per usual. lots of great defensive plays.
also despite the shooting percentage, paige had a pretty good night. only starter in double digits, and a very near triple double. i believe if it was a tighter game where she had to stay in for longer, she would have had that in the bag. but oh well.
genuinely get arike off this mf team.
im not playing, but she is. playing in everybody’s faces that is. starting the game 0-5 is just not cute and finishing it… 2-13. there is no justification for doing that idc.
i can’t even comment on the fourth quarter bc my eyes glazed over. im glad zaza seemed to have a good game, but im still not all the way sold on her. like i said, when she’s on, it’s fun, but when she isn’t it’s torture.
as a team, i really hope this is the worst game of the season.
other notes:
-pazzi edit on national tv was fun to witness.
-storm was just having a terrible night 😭. especially 5 on their team. like it was actually cracking me tf up every time they called her for a foul
-flau’jae was interesting to watch, ik this wasn’t her normal, but a bad game happens to everyone. i think she just got overly eager on some of her easier shots and overly eager to rebound or get a loose ball, which would result in a) her fouling someone or b) her tipping it out, making it dallas’s ball. sucks that she fouled out, but she gotta learn to not be as reckless.
-some of yall gotta stop being so damn dramatic. obviously im not saying that people can’t express their feelings/thoughts about the game (that would be hypocritical lol), but every ‘bad’ game that the team or paige/azzi have, yall tweak tf out.
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