Days Of My Life

[existentialplanetdweller]

Well, it's been a few days and I haven't written here. Which is disappointing. But, hey, I've been an eternal disappointment to myself so I guess I should get over it pretty quickly. My battery is on 4% and I have a turtle-head trying to make its way out. So perhaps the best idea would be to charge my laptop whilst I release the sea creature into the shallow lake of unwanted dreams.............. Back now. It's been hours. Now I'm too mentally exhausted to think. Put the phone away. Put the phone away..... :(

[existentialplanetdweller]

I wish my energy levels would remain constant. Maybe I need to shove some pseudoephedrine into my system. Drinking less would probably help too. I could have started the massage today but didn't have the energy. To be honest I think the less time I spend on y phone scrolling, scrolling, scrolling then the more energy I have. I am contemplating taking up an offer, finally. A guy online has offered to fly me over to the U.S to sty with him, near L.A. He's offered a few times over the years but things haven't really been that convenient. Maybe now is the time. I'm not working and my housemate can look after the dog. It kind of seems silly to turn down the offer. I would most likely head there sooner rather than later but I need to earn some cash and also another friend is taking me on a cruise for a 3-day food festival. Although I currently have only $75 in my bank and am tens of thousands of dollars in debt and am not paying any of my bills, I guess I should be thankful for the nice people in my life. I'm trying to study the Page Of Wands but I can't work out if I should look at them as a person or an event. I'm kind of stumped a little on these ones #Tarot

[existentialplanetdweller]

A friend just bought me a massage table so I can start making money giving rub and tugs from the privacy of my own home. Once a hooker, always a hooker #GayLife

[existentialplanetdweller]

Well, unfortunately I'm not going to have much time to write today. I went to physio earlier. I then bought a pie and sat in the park then drove to the sea and looked at the ocean. I then came home, passed out now here I am 90 minutes later. I am off in a second for a date with a prison guard. He's the same guy that mentioned the dog dildo. He sounds lovely yeah?

[existentialplanetdweller]

Well I managed to drag my carcass out of the house finally to head to the library. It's now 6:23pm. I got up somewhat early (for me ie 1030am), but then faffed around, picked up some dog shit from the courtyard, cuddled said dog of whose shit belongs to and then fell asleep again. The library is a wee bit annoying as people are distracting as fuck. I'm in the quiet area, apparently, but I think there's some people here that need to fuck off and have their conversations somewhere else. They must have ADHD. I know they are attempting to whisper but they are as distracting as fuck. This is not the sort of shit I want to be writing about.

[existentialplanetdweller]

Today I was wondering how I am going to start earning a decent wage again, so I grabbed my pendulum and started chanting in positive-affirmation-style that I will soon bring in a generous wage for myself again very soon. 20 minutes later I get on Scruff and a guy offers me $100 to blow my load into a condom and give it to him. Now... don't tell me the Universe doesn't deliver! #WritersLife #Synchronicity #SynchronicityAtWork

[existentialplanetdweller]

I have always "Ummmmed" and "Ahhhhed" about "typing" my daily prose instead of "writing" my daily prose (aka rantings). This is due to my apparent respect of tradition and also having had "The Artist's Way" author Julia Cameron constantly reiterating the fact that only a slow gentle hand with pen or pencil on paper can truly reap the benefits of the artistic beast within. I've been enduring the "Morning Pages" on and off now for 25 years and I literally need an interpreter fluent in "Alienese" to work out what the actual fuck I have written. I do realise that is not the main objective, but still. Legibility surely has to count for something? My handwriting, in theory, is pretty. My Grandmother would be proud. But Jesus Christopher Christchurch. Who could be bothered taking the time to decipher one word that looks like a baby Dinosaur, and then the next: half a Monkey's penis. To be honest, also, I also type much faster than I write so I want to be able to keep up with my own thoughts. On another note I do attempt to play piano so I kind of find the stabbing and punching motion of the computer keyboard quite cathartic. Or maybe that stems from my Body Combat classes? Hmmmm...... Cat just jumped on laptop and shoved its anus in my face. Now not so relaxing. Ps: My ex-best friend is named Julia and my stupid older brother is named Cameron. This probably doesn't help matters 😂 (Ps. Just discovered this emoji is the most popular emoji behind the fart emoji - ok. Only 50% of that statement is true 😂).

#JuliaCameron #TheArtistsWay "DailyRantings #DailyThoughts #WritingWithoutBorders #TrainOfThought #FlowOfConsciousness

[existentialplanetdweller]

Well, the dog won't shut the fuck up which is upsetting my equilibrium. It will no doubt piss the neighbours off too, so have brought the little shit inside and TOLD him to shut the fuck up. Surely that will help? In more pleasing news, I managed to actually eat dinner last night and only had 3/4 of a bottle of red wine. And now I'm out of bed before 10am. Miracles can happen! If I can make this a permanent habit then I feel I'll be heading in the right direction. Surely after 3,794 previous attempts at cutting down my alcohol consumption it will finally stick, yeah? Having been off work now for 6 months due to an injury and spending what's left of my money very unwisely is also doing me zero favours. Rent is late, bills are overdue. I actually put in for some hours at one of the gay saunas in the city last night, even though I'm still "on the books" with my current employer, they are doing nothing about helping me get back to work as I'm not yet "fully recovered" and it wasn't a workplace injury. None of the managers have called in that 6 months but, hey, RUOK? Let's all wear a bangle and a lanyard one day of the year and pretend we give a rat's left testicle about mental health. Troglodytes. I'm wondering if going back to my roots, so to speak, will make me happier and more mentally settled. If I could easily get back into escort work then I probably would. But is there a desire for Dad Bods in the sex industry these days? I guess that's something I'll have to investigate. InjuredandBrokenDaddies.com. Sounds hot. The guy who I was chatting to from Tinder last night mentioned being my pup, which I thought was kind of cute, but then added he should shove one of those dog's tail dildo's up his arse for me. I'm pretty sure how I feel about that, and it really isn't exactly giving me a boner right now.

#SliceOfLife #AmWriting #WritersLife #GayLife #GayLiterature #GayWriting

[existentialplanetdweller]

Well, here I am. Day two of my 365-day writing course. The fact I got so drunk last night on red wine and only got up at 5pm to walk the dog isn't really ideal for a lot of obvious reasons. And here I am again. Sitting, writing and having red wine. Currently house sitting a cat, a pug, some goldfish and, well, a house.

Spoke to a guy on Tinder today. It got kind of dirty pretty quickly but I was/am feeling horny so it's hardly surprising. His limits seem pretty similar to mine although I'm not really that jazzed about slapping his balls with a paddle, as per suggestion. More so I'm looking for an emotional connection.

Jasper called last night at 130am. He and Calvin had had a fight. Hours earlier Jasper was telling me how happy he was that I had introduced them. That didn't last long. Not sure why I am still nice to that twat. I guess I feel sorry for him. Calvin (which means "sad" and in this case "cunt") had told Jasper he has 3 weeks to find a new place and, among other things, has bad breath. The latter may be true but the fact Calvin has pulled me up on my toxic behaviour, I do find it rather hypocritical. Bottle shop closing soon. Better go!

[existentialplanetdweller]

"Today is the first day of the rest of my life" Can anyone be sure who ever uttered these profound words first? Perhaps it was Eve. Perhaps it was Adam. Perhaps it was Jesus as he was making his way out of Mary's vagina. I guess at this stage we will never know.