beauty and madness. @exopreciousotps - Tumblr Blog

*Searching for that one fanfic you read months ago because you want to read it again but you forgot the title and the author so you type in phrases you remember if you’re lucky enough or you scan the tags one by one even though there are thousands of fics*

lilyaforevr-deactivated20150911

That's the thing.

After all the feelings have been confessed and noting that you both feel the same, what are you going to do about it?

That's the problem.

He is unavailable in every sense of the word.

If it would have been in another setting where he is not married, has no kids and no other complicated things to consider, I would definitely, definitely choose to be with him.

He may not be the best but he is a good man.

However, that is not the case.

That will never be the case.

How many times have you waited for him to message you? How many times have you wanted to casually drop a message just to start a conversation?

But you didn't and you won't.

Because you are afraid of the wife finding out. Because you are scared that this might be just a big silly joke for him.

You wanted to confess so bad, to let this thing out of your chest. Do the same sprouting of words like he did.

But you can't and you shouldn't.

No. At the end of the day, you will never be his number one priority. He will always, always choose his wife over you.

It's hard when you don't know if he also feels the same way. Is he as deeply invested in this whatever you have as you do? Perhaps not. Is there really something going on between the two of you? Perhaps none.

You can't even call yourself a third party, a mistress or any label close to that since there is nothing to hold on to.

Is it normal to exchange messages at 3, 4am when you know for a fact that this guy is sleeping next to his wife? Your heart beats faster every time a message from him appears. Is this shit considered as flirting? I don't know.

Maybe you're just delusional and putting so much meaning into things.

If the wife finds out, are you willing to take the risk? Is he worth the risk?

Remember, you have no right to feel sad just because he chooses her over you. No, no, no. You will never have the right.

#prompt