probably should be journaling this but this has been now a recurrent theme of my life for the last months so here’s a little word vomit.
there had been so much going on when it came to meeting new people and it really revealed a lot about the way people viewed friendships or human connection and that in fact, a lot of it wasn’t genuine connection but only interested, shallow relationships.
people are too busy looking for validation, for social credit, for self-worth. maybe social media are to blame. people don’t know how to build self-esteem and friendships anymore. internet banter and exchanges are valued for friendships when at the end of the day, we know nothing about the other. they don’t seek to know you, only to show off who they know or chatted with or hung with.
i met a girl at the Murder of Crows festival in NYC which we ended up spending together. the next day she texted me to invite me at her family bbq. i couldn’t make it, but i suggested that we met for tea earlier instead. we ended up sitting in a public garden, drawing on canvas or ipad, exchanging about botany or school or family. at the end, despite the ocean separating us, she offered that we stayed in touch with actual phone calls. meeting her was probably one of the most genuine connections i had in the wild. it made me realise how some people i had connected with this year are not actually genuinely interested in befriending me, just using my persona or that flimsy connection as a show-off for the internet or the network.
not every connection needs to be a friendship. but people too easily use the word ‘friend’ while it’s ok to just be acquaintances (or ‘mutuals’), because we can’t get along with everybody. but don’t use that word when you don’t mean it. because who actually reached out so far to catch up in the end? who texted me saying sending random stuff like “hey this made me think of you” or simply “how were you doing?”(yes we are all busy or distracted or whatever, but we can always make time, and it’s ok to reply later).
on another tangent note, someone said i was eager to meet new people and they are right, i do. i don’t expect an eye-opening experience or friendship at every turn, i am just genuinely curious about people and what fuels them. it seems that not a lot of people think like that about the people they meet. i’m also ready to take some risks and chance to meet bad people, but at least it gives me tea material i guess. it also makes me value my actual friendships a lot more. but overall i guess i am not afraid of being hurt (maybe it’s also my constant need of stimulation that makes me adventurous and ready to talk to new people, thank you, miss ADHD).
some people refuse to engage because of past experiences and the possibility of being hurt, or of things not lasting. but from my experience, i can live with the bad sides of human beings, because overall, taking these chances, i got to witness more of the good sides, the good that makes me joyful and hopeful.
