Bi Bitch

jenn. she/they. 18+. i’m just vibing at this point.

[prettyboyilyarozanov]

I had thoughts and figured you might like them:

Luca decides to buy a plug tail as a surprise for Shane and Ilya but his eyes are bigger than his ass, so when it finally arrives it's *massive*. Like Luca cannot even begin to figure out how he's going to work himself up to it. So instead of surprising Ilya and Shane when they get home by wearing it and kneeling at the front door, Luca is sitting at the kitchen table staring at this huge plug with a luxurious fluffy tail attached and a bit of a slightly panicked look on his face.

Of course Ilya can't help cracking a joke about how was Luca gonna fit it, it's bigger than his fist which gives Shane the idea...

Cue Ilya fisting Luca while Shane sucks him off until Luca is loose enough for the plug to fit it. And now that it's in, Luca definitely doesn’t want to take it out because it feels so good but took so long to get in, and doesn't he look cute with his tail and matching ears??? So Shane and Ilya have to make Luca stop and stay still while they ease it out of him just enough to add more lube, all the while Luca is whining and begging for them to give him back his tail.

OH MY GODDDD SKDKXOXXOOXOX

he would be addicted to that. he would want it in all the time, because it just feels way too good to not be in him at all times. he still can’t believe that he’s taking it, that they were able to open him up enough to fit it. at the end of the night, after ilya fucks him, he begs them put it back in. ilya tells him he can’t leave it in all night and shane tells him it’ll be fine, it’ll be okay, just let him leave it in for a couple of hours. shane is no stranger to that, after all

[witchy-worm]

I’m still thinking about Shane Hollander’s backwards hat (and Hudson William’s peloton ad)

[cecikiwi]

beautiful comm for @iammistressofmyfate ❤️

[isolabellz]

ilya’s birthday surprise

[eyeslikeonyx]

📢📢 CALLING ALL HOLLANOVAAS FANS 📢📢

Got inspired by a very horny tweet about omegas Shane and Luca going into heat at the same time, and I decided to write about it. So here’s 18,000+ words of heat sex, friendship, and love 🫶🏼

Enjoy 🤭

[viviavalon]

Shane Hollander thought he was in charge… he was wrong 😂

Another sketch about the Hollander family — Ilya and his OC daughters always win 🤣

[notahungrywish]

Much has been said about how Shane’s specific brand of subbing aligns with his issues #hisissues.

But I also think it’s worth talking about Ilya’s side of things.

He gets told no one wants him around, no one needs him, no one misses him. He’s expected to politely submit and accept being screamed at, insulted, and degraded. He’s told he has a responsibility to give and provide but can never achieve it. He’s told he’s lazy, disappointing, weak, shameful. And most importantly he’s not allowed to do shit about that. He has to nod politely, agree demurely, maybe mouth off a little if it’s his brother but always always obey. His purpose is to obey and provide and what he provides is never good enough.

So it makes sense that he’s so into their whole deal. Because Shane doesn’t just like him and want him around, Shane’s desperate for him. Shane’s willing to do insane things just for the privilege of having his attention. And Shane isn’t some nobody hanger on Shane is the absolute top dog in his world, he’s the most respected and most respectable and he’s on he’s knees begging for Ilya, only happy when he’s got Ilya, can’t fucking get enough of Ilya. He’s not obeying and subservient he’s making alllll the calls. He’s got all the power. He can snap his fingers and Shane, the actual Shane Hollander, is hitting his knees with his tongue out. And Shane never cruel to him or critical Shane is GRATEFUL. Shane is thanking him with tears in his eyes.

When they’re together Ilya is in control, he’s appreciated, he’s noticed, he’s powerful, he’s wanted, he’s always enough.

[sleepyfortress]

“Though quiet in his wrath, the god-kissed Prince of Hollander kindgom dealt devastation on those seeking his ruin.”

Shane’s cryptid time

[shanyshko]

you know i think ilya would get off on choosing shane's clothes for him. shane doesn't really care about fashion so much as looking acceptable for the situation, so when ilya asks to style him before charity galas and important dinners and re-do his array of game day suits, it's not exactly a hard sell.

suddenly, shane is in proper black and white formal for the first time ever, a designer suit jacket with a little point to the shoulder that makes him look all sensual and broad. accessories keep making their way in. a snakeskin belt, a loafer that doesn't look like it's from 2005, a signet ring. and of course, ilya always ties the rolex in, wear the one with the emerald face, i'll put you in a matching sock and maybe some gemstone cuff-links. his casuals remain casual, but every once in awhile he sneaks in a pair of impeccably tailored $800 jeans, or a vintage acid wash muscle tee ilya had to fight tooth and nail for on ebay. he puts his baby in cashmere sweaters that would make princess diana cry.

and people notice. of course they notice. there are theories, who is the stylist, is it a social media stunt, a new sponsorship everything their influence. and yes, a part of him is resentful he can't claim credit, but when shane asks him once, while ilya delicately folds his silk pocket square, why do you do this for me? ilya runs a hand over his dress shirt, groping at his pecs, and says, they all wonder why you look so pretty. is because i want my boyfriend to look pretty for me. they wonder, and i know. i know it's for me. it isn't for you, malysh. is for me.

one day, ilya thinks, he'll walk in with the hottest man in the nhl on his arm. he'll put him in diamonds and a fur coat, and they'll all know. but for now he just pats shane's chest and sends him out with cuff links that have ilya's initials engraved.

[manhasetardis]

"Our research showed that young gay men strategically invest their self-worth in those areas in which they can succeed, namely academics, appearance, and competition, more so than straight men. Essentially, it seems as if young gay men go to great lengths to prove their worth to others in those domains. This is particularly likely for those who concealed their sexual orientation for long periods of time when growing up and for those who grew up in more stigmatizing states. Our results also showed that being "the best little boy in the world" comes at a cost, as young gay men who invested in these status-related domains were more likely to spend more time alone, to report more daily eating problems, getting into arguments and lying to others, and to feel more stress each day. As previously discussed, besting others at competitive tasks represents one way for young gay men to control a threatening environment, although not without cost." - John Pachankis and Mark Hatzenbuehler

[lavenderprose]

I think Shane would actually enjoy an orgy [ducks the tomatoes] HEAR ME OUT

Shane and Ilya are exhibitionists. They love to play with the idea of being watched. I know it's portrayed as just sex-talk and something Shane would never do but...I don't know if I buy it. Shane brings it up kind of a lot. More than someone would if they weren't into the idea. Ilya is established as an exhibitionist as soon as he touches his dick in front of Shane in the showers. It's canon.

I think Shane is actually secretly DYING to be touched on in public. In "public". I think on the rare occasions when he can be coaxed into sitting in Ilya's lap at a team hangout, it gets him unbelievably hot because he loves the inherent possession in it. He loves people to know that he is Ilya's and Ilya is his. Ilya makes some subtle references to giving Shane a 'reward' where their friends can hear and Shane preens. He wants it to be known how good he is. How proud he makes Ilya.

I think Shane would love the idea of being in the corner of a room, put on display. Only Ilya is allowed to touch him--and Ilya is POSSESSIVE about him; he fucking loves the way that Ilya clutches him and taps the yellow band on Shane's wrist to remind people that he wants to be looked at, not touched. And he loves the filthy fucking things that Ilya is whispering in his ear ("Do you see how fucking hot you make everyone here? They can see what a slut you are. They can see how much you want it. Fuck, Hollander, now everyone knows you're my whore") and he loves that he can just let Ilya move him as he pleases, totally lost in the bliss of not having to worry about being seen or heard or perceived. It's already happening, and it's good, and he's got Ilya there with him. It is total relief and release on a level that he never even thought would be possible.

And when he's done he lets Ilya know and there is a separate room where people are mostly clothed and there are snacks and Ilya can pull Shane into his lap, bundle him there, still casually possessive, and rub Shane's hair while he chats with interesting people and occasionally drop a kiss onto Shane's ear. And that, too, is liberating. Something about the soft animal of his body. Something about finally, after all these years, being allowed to be loved and touched on by this man for everyone to see.

[hmmbarkbark]

Thinking of book Ilya

[bugslibraryy]

Shane and Ilya were just kissing goodbye at the door, Shane dressed nicely to meet some of team for his next brand deal, in well fitted black trousers and a white shirt, smelling like cologne and his hair product and Ilya in ratty basketball shorts that are Shane’s, only one sock on for some reason. They were just kissing goodbye at the door and then Ilya had moved his had to hold the side of Shane’s face, leaning his hips in to press them to Shane’s. Shane had kissed him until he could feel Ilya hard against him, Ilya’s hands gripping greedily at Shane’s hips. And then Ilya had whispered “please” and Shane had said “you need to ask nicer than that baby I should already be out the door” and Ilya had said breathy and wet into Shane’s neck “please, please Shane you look so good, fuck, you get me so hard” and Shane had sighed and reached his hand back to the door handle and Ilya had honest to god whined, rolling his hips against Shane’s thigh “please shane. Please fuck I’m so fucking hard for you need you to touch me” and his voice was so shaky and wanting. So now Ilya is against the door with Shane’s hand down his basketball shorts, working his cock in his fist, kissing him hot and messy and sweet and Ilya is whining into his mouth, trying to his hands down Shane’s pants only to have his hands smacked away by Shane. “No baby I have to go, I can’t get there a mess, it’s just you, so needy you need me to help you cum before I go” and Ilya is nodding, face and cheeks hot and sweat behind his ears and it’s so good he’s so hard and Shane smells so good feels so good under him and he’s calling Ilya baby, stroking his cock so fucking nice, whispering to Ilya to “not let his cock make a mess on him before he has to go out because that would be mean” and then Ilya is thinking about his cum all over Shane’s nice little dress pants, his. And he comes hard and shaking in his pants with Shane’s hand working him through it. Shane pets Ilya’s face gently with the wet hand Ilya had just cum into, kisses him hot and messy before whispering “bye baby” and slipping out the door and Ilya is just 🧍‍♂️by the door, cum on his fave and in his shorts and he’s breathless still as he hears Shane pull out of their driveway. It’s so hot he can feel his cock trying to get hard again.

[fractally]

I do love how despite Ilya being the one in active mental health treatment and having Romance Protagonist levels of insane trauma background Shane is 1000000% the crazier one between them. Like Ilya’s done shockingly well considering and sure he’s got some abandonment issues and some insecurities but he’s basically very functional and aware of his triggers. Shane I think would actually do a murder suicide in the right circumstances. Not shitpost Shane like canon Shane

[yabagofmilfs]

Found it. Sid talks Maverick, mowing lawns, and movies.

Transcript:

MADDEN: Do you currently have any pets and if so what?

SID: A cat. Yeah, Maverick.

MADDEN: I never pictured you as a cat person, so am I.

SID: Yeah, It's just he ended up in the backyard and ended up taking him in, so yeah, we uh, yeah, we got a cat.

MADDEN: You have a rescue cat. You just took the cat in from the backyard. Yeah, wow, you're your reputation is a good guy just grows and grows, don't it.

SID: Well, I was allergic, so it wasn't the easiest. It wasn't the easiest adjustment. But yeah, it's it's all good now.

MADDEN: You know who else is allergic to cats? Your former landlord.

SID: Oh yeah, yeah, I think you just adjust. You must get used to it because I'm good now. But it took me a bit.

MADDEN: Now in that vein. How big is your lawn? And do you mow it yourself?

SID: I do not mow it myself. That's pretty pretty big. It would be a big one to tackle. But I you know, I used to mow lawns when I was when I was growing up as like a summer gig. And the raking I thought was the worst. The mowing I didn't mind. The raking was terrible. That was the hard part.

MADDEN: I know you're kind of a World War two guy. Did you see Nuremberg starring Russell Crowe? Because I thought it might have been the best movie last year.

SID: Yeah, I did see it. It was really good. I thought. I thought he was really good in it, And yeah, I thought it was a good movie.

MADDEN: See it. This is always a treat. Thanks for your time and I'll see at the rink.

SID: Okay, thank you.

[rightwhereitbelongss]

alternate universe 90s heated rivalry starring Keanu Reeves as Shane Hollander and Heath Ledger as Ilya Rozanov ………

[thisfeebleheart]

nose boop <3