Sick of this shit so I'm putting this under read for yall to read. THIS IS LONG AND I'M SICK OF REPEATING MYSELF
I still find it funny these people are still lying to people and telling people I'm "this" and I'm not "this" and then saying I haven't apologised for my actions when I had my breakdown and shit when I did.
Stop. Lying. To People. I apologisesd on my Tsukasa account after I was finally able to get out of bed.
Stop telling people I'm using my BPD as an excuse when I NEVER DID SUCH A THING.
Just stop already. "You and your friends are seriously bunkers at this point.
I express my BPD experiences on my personal accounts. THEY DON'T ALWAYS BE ABOUT YOU.
Because, AGAIN, people demonise the fuck out of BPD. Like you are doing. You didn't ask me any questions. You are assuming I'm doing things because you're still fucking mad that I'm still mad about you literally DEFAMING AND DEMONISING ME.
I am allowed to be mad. I am allowed to have emotions and you can't just go around telling people that I'm doing this because of stuff like "attention". THIS IS THE PROBLEM.
And I was never looking at your profiles until after I accidentally clicked on akubegone's url and saw her reposting Riri's shitty take on the situation.
Your friends literally called me red flags in a server because I left the damn server and deleted everyone after having a meltdown. You, Riri, yelled at me right after your friend yelled at me to stop talking about you and said they were going to leave me.
TWO OF YOUR FRIENDS DELETED ME EARLIER BEFORE THIS BECAUSE OF ME WANTING TO KILL MYSELF. I was in a bad place for MONTHS. I was trying to grab your attention that day because you were like the only one I wanted to talk to about how I felt and you ignored me for days on end.
As someone with a LOT of trauma, I have been abandoned so fucking much! Feeling all that in a small amount of time was hurtful to me and made me want to leave everyone!
THEN YOU DECIDED TO TELL PEOPLE I BLOCKED EVERYONE? I only deleted everyone.
THEN YOU DECIDED TO TELL PEOPLE THAT I WANTED YOU AS A THERAPIST? I never said that shit to you nor have I acted like that to you. I was freaking the fuck out that day.
Do you know how hard it is to have so much on your mind from Aku to Star then to you wanting to kill yourself because of all the drama that happened in those past months? I WAS FUCKING STRUGGLING. I was trying so hard to help you with your thing because I am very dedicated to friends. So doing all that shit for you made me feel drained. Then Star and her friends putting me on her list and people avoiding me because I helped you made me feel like shit because again I SUFFER FROM SEVERE ABANDONMENT ISSUES.
That's when I thought about killing myself. That's when all this shit happened. That's when you decided to avoid me for days without even explaining yourself to me personally by the way.
Then after this shit your friend came to a post on my twitter that was me expressing my BPD experience as a whole and tried to say something to me there. I blocked them. I went to them on another site and told them something and that's when they were assuming more things about me like being unmedicated and not having a therapist and so on. I have medication. I have a therapist. IT'S NOT THAT EASY TO GET THROUGH LOTS OF CHILDHOOD TRAUMA.
Need I remind you that I don't just have BPD but a lot of other mental disorders and health problems, which fucks with me as well!
Oh, and before you say I turned into a drama blog, you told me that already. I didn't care when you said it. Nor do I care now. I did what I had to do with my goofwithmuses account and that was to call out Aku before I left roleplaying on tumblr for good. Then I helped call Star out. Then all this shit happened with you lying and vaguing about me as well.
And fyi, I am back on a childhood trauma site thanks to your bullshit. I still want to write but I can't with you spreading malicious false information in an area I love writing in; writing puts me in a mindspace where I am completely happy. So I had to resort to going back to roleplayer.me a site that started all my abandonment, paedophilic, and other trauma.
AND STOP ASSUMING I WANT YOU TO STRAIGHT UP DROP EVERYTHING FOR ME. But it would be great if you, I don't know tell me if you're leaving me. Like I have no problem with people leaving me, but if I'm struggling and shit and you just straight up go "woosh" with no sign that's just adding on to to a lot. COMMUNICATE PEOPLE. That's the damn problem. I'm fine when people tell me shit! I already know how obnoxious I can be. You can tell me if you don't want me around, but tell me in a calm way. Or you can like mute me, because, you know, that's a discord option. I like to send things that I believe people will like.
SIDENOTE: The people who left me as I had a sucidal breadown said NOTHING to me before they left. They just up and left. If you are leaving someone in a breakdown at least say something to the person. If you leave them without saying something you are an arse. Why I say this? Because this adds on to their trauma and mentality and makes their mind worse.
Riri would constantly ask me to "ask Lucifer". Every time that happened I told her to do it herself. If you worked with Lucifer you wouldn't be constantly asking me to ask Lucifer for your stupid questions about Star.
Friendly Reminder for myself: I met Riri's friends DURING all the drama that happened. That was within the 4-5 months. I don't really have any qualms towards them besides the invading my personal space bit and lying bit.
I had met Riri years ago through someone else and she was also avoiding me unless I had said something about Aku's new profiles. Plus there was her always making new accounts and deleting and changing her name constantly which bothered me as most people that do that tend to try and dodge something. I was going to delete her a long time ago before the stuff happened because of this.
I just remembered that Riri used her dead friend, and said she spoked to them, as a means to want to hex and get back at Star. And she hexed people a lot, claiming Lucifer told her to do so; which he he wouldn't enable people to do. So yeah, no I'm glad I'm not dealing with these people anymore.
Riri also misgendered me once and blamed it on Lucifer saying he called me he/him.
Anyway, fuck you and your friends. Props to my brother for being there with me through this shit and props to the rest of my friends to reassure me. And the fact that you guys keep misspelling my name says something; you never gave a shit about me. Especially when my name is just THREE LETTERS.
