F4t-tr4nny

Sideblog| tw| he/they/it (ftm) | 16

[f4t-tr4nny]

[intro/pinned post]

‼Disclaimer‼: this is my safe space, this is a triggering blog, if you don't like that then just leave, I'm not responsible for other people and their triggers

🚬 about me🚬

I am 16 and ftm, I mainly use he/they/it pronouns, but I'm fine with any as long as they aren't fem

I have a love for music, both playing and listening to it (im always up to talk about music),

I interact from @/l0z3r-cav3 as this is a side blog

🔗mental health stuff🔗

I've been struggling with dis0rd3rd and $h for years, I also struggle with substance abuse, I've wanted to die since age 10, Im also a victim of csa and have been groomed multiple times

Depression, anxiety, autism, adhd, ptsd, ednos, osdd, random hallucinations as well as delusions (dunno why)

Tags:

#tranny-irl: my pictures

#shitty rambles: random nonsense/rambling/my posts

#silly-people: asks

#fatty-fit-check: fit checks

[cruellasdisorder]

i swear if my scale doesnt start dropping ill go insane

[f4t-tr4nny]

Gonna try and get back with my groomer :33 im so lonely

[dietc0kevanilla]

when life gets so bad that you pull up with this combo:

[f4t-tr4nny]

Broo

I was talking about how I can't do one handed push ups and made a joke about how "it takes a lot to hold me up"

And my mom straight up went "no it doesn't, you probably haven't even eaten today'

[f4t-tr4nny]

Tbh I find it hilarious how she's the one who was awful to me and who was in an illegal relationship with me yet she hates me for leaving, likes you're twenty years old and have beef with the 16yr old you dated, grow up

[f4t-tr4nny]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I look so much fatter standing up then I do laying downnnnnnn ;-; someone shoot me, also bloat bc ✨period✨ fml

[f4t-tr4nny]

Why does being sleepy make me mentally become four again, like that's not chill ;-;

[f4t-tr4nny]

Daddy issues are kicking up tonight, like if someone older then me what's to hold me and cuddle me and praise me and tell me I'm doing a good job and get high with me then that's the end of me, its too much, I've already fallen

[f4t-tr4nny]

Scratch the daddy issues, I think its just bc I've talked to so all many people older then me that I'm now lonely and have no one, lol I think I just need love and to be taken care of ;-;

[f4t-tr4nny]

Daddy issues are kicking up tonight, like if someone older then me what's to hold me and cuddle me and praise me and tell me I'm doing a good job and get high with me then that's the end of me, its too much, I've already fallen

[f4t-tr4nny]

8/14: 50

8/15 100

8/16 600

8/17 1100 (metabolism day)

8/18: 350

Total: 2200

Tdee for five days: 8000

Deficit: 5800

Meaning I should have lost at least a pound from 8/14 meaning I should have gone from 123.6 to 122.6

I can't weight myself so this is the second closest way I can tell weight changes

[f4t-tr4nny]

Some shitty body checks for y'all

I'll take better ones later, too eepy rn

[f4t-tr4nny]

Gross fat bitch took a shower for the first time in two months :0

[f4t-tr4nny]

My mom just made me a grilled cheese with 3 pieces of cheese and cooked in butter and coated in mayo to make it crunchy, that's fucker must have been at least 500 calories, didn't eat it, grilled cheese are a safe food both autism and ed wise but okay if I make them, anyways 16 hours into my fast 👍

[f4t-tr4nny]

I can't remember a time I had steady love for this family, like they can be okay sometimes I guess, mostly step dad and brother are chill, but like I've had fantasys of running away and/or burning the house down for at least least 5 years, I've never felt loved by them, yet I'm expected to be greatful because we have a roof over our heads, food, and clean clothes,

[f4t-tr4nny]

"but think about other people" "think about how it makes us feel" just call me selfish at that point mother, All I've ever done is think about others, saying that just makes me want to destroy myself more

[f4t-tr4nny]

What if I kill myself? What then chat?