MisfitMerc

Random Ramblings Deep South Apostasy

[nanlawson]

“I don’t know love. I was built to protect not to love, so there is no use for me other than this.”

[fabledflowstate]

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[fabledflowstate]

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[fabledflowstate]

Thankful To Be Human

It's a weird thing around here that happens at dinner tables. Thanksgiving got me thinking about it. Here in the deep south land of Duck Dynasty bullshit, you have what we call "saying grace". I'm sure most people know what that means, it's just the blessing over the food. But there's no grace in it.

I've heard a version of the same prayer said by almost all men (yes only men pray over food here) and it never changes. It's just comfortable ritual and it's one that minimizes all human effort in meal prep. They don't even know who they're thanking anymore.

I'm thankful that we don't rely on the god of the Southern Baptist.

Glad to just be human.

[fabledflowstate]

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A New World - Bravery Not Required

I am a 44 year old man-child with no choice in the matter. Terribly tragic early childhood forced me into a world of imagination. I learned early then, what was real and what was not. I needed to know that the werewolves I'd created in my mind to "handle" the stressful people in my life and the guardian angel slowly fading from my daydreams WERE NOT REAL. Needed to know so I could snap out of whatever adventure I was on in my cranium was over and it was time to ACT like a good kid. I knew at 7 or 8 magic didn't exist. The pretending helped me through my youth and failed me all of my adult life. My brother never adapted and I feel is doomed to a meth addicts death. We were just boys 6-8 years old being repeatedly abused by family and others after school each day.

In the piney woods of Northern Louisiana, melted onto the map, is hell. Our guardians thought a southern baptist church would be all we needed to recover. It's where I learned that people believed I was bound for hell regardless of if I could believe. Unbelief is unacceptable. Being human is unacceptable. Being brave is a sin.

I'm going to continue writing because I have to. My life begins as I've written and ends with a clever self-diagnosis of myself, unrelenting heartbreak, endless frustration, hopeless betrayal and this part. This part needs no bravery. I have no time for it. I'm just going to write. No more tonight though. I'll leave you with the poem I wrote when I finally shed the dogma.

Love

The Pass That All Understanding Peaced

Hello alone from the home of I know Where they know that they know where they go When they die and I try but man I don't know So hello alone from the home of I know

~Alan DeMoss 2022

[fabledflowstate]

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[fabledflowstate]

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[fabledflowstate]

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