whatevercatchesmyattention

there used to be a reason for this blog but that's gone

[jaubaius]

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

He lunged after my cock like he was a polar bear. And I was the last coca cola on earth

[sashaforthewin]

I wish all sex scenes were written with this level of quality

[unpretty]

I’m tired and in one of the asks you answered I read “kink taxonomy” as “Taxation Kink”. Honestly I was prepared to immediately just roll with that

that's just bureaucratic findom

[fandomstookmylife]

I speed read it as "taxidermy" and wondered what fresh hell I'd walked into

[surrealtiktoks]

[thefriendlylover]

The peacock. The music. The person leaping over a tombstone. The cemetery. It just works.

[theundeadpumpkin-deactivated202]

[fuckyeanihilism]

[thatsthat24]

So Helpful 🎮

[tiktokmuseum]

he was in the fridge!!!

[myusersnamegoeshere]

ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but.... the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha

[rattle-my-stars]

the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there... idk if I’d ever recover

[blog-carmex]

@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food

[esperantoauthor]

Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time...

[marraphy]

mutuals put me in your fridge

[gallusrostromegalus]

Back in 2015, I went over to a classmate's house for group project work late in the fall, and in the middle of working on the presentation, offered to grab sodas for people but they were out of pepsi and Andrew whose house we were at said "Oh, there's more in the basement fridge."

So I go down to the basement, which is well-lit and finished and indeed there are more pepsi but also in the fridge is a massive tortise. This animal was the dimensions of a desktop computer and probably outweighed a labrador. It's not moving, and is set in the middle of a plastic tray so it's apparently supposed to be there. I go back upstairs.

"Hey Andrew." I say, nonchalantly. "So is the tortise in the fridge down there for soup or what?"

"The what?" says the other member of the group project. I don't remember her name, just that she always wore her hair in pigtails with butterfly clips that were based on real butterflies and she had at least a dozen species.

"Oh! No, that's Andrew Too." he says. "His species hibernates so he stays in the fridge for the holidays."

"You named your tortise after you?" I ask.

"No, uh- Well, my grandfather got him in Egypt or somewhere while he was on leave during the war and He was named Andrew, so he thought it would be funny to name him 'Andrew Too'. ...Then Mom named me after him so Gandpa left me Andrew Too in his will. He's pretty cool when he's awake. Lets us dress him up for summer holidays, doesn't bark."

"Oh!" Said Butterflies. "My dad served in the Gulf War too! What unit was he in?"

"Oh no, Grandpa was with the Royal Air Force in World War Two. Andrew Too is going to be 70 this year! We're going to make him a carrot cake!"

[halfshinyumbreon]

@gallusrostromegalus was he named after his grandfather or the tortoise

[gallusrostromegalus]

You know? I'd always assumed he was named after his grandfather but his mom was a crazy woman who ate Crasins by the handful and dressed their tortise up as a rotating cast of founding fathers for president's day so I'm not sure.

[memeclassheroes]

[justgot1]

I Am Perceived

[azriona]

I am in this post and I don't like it.

[dog-metaphor]

[tiktokmuseum]

he was in the fridge!!!

[myusersnamegoeshere]

ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but.... the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha

[rattle-my-stars]

the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there... idk if I’d ever recover

[blog-carmex]

@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food

[esperantoauthor]

Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time...

[marraphy]

mutuals put me in your fridge

[gallusrostromegalus]

Back in 2015, I went over to a classmate's house for group project work late in the fall, and in the middle of working on the presentation, offered to grab sodas for people but they were out of pepsi and Andrew whose house we were at said "Oh, there's more in the basement fridge."

So I go down to the basement, which is well-lit and finished and indeed there are more pepsi but also in the fridge is a massive tortise. This animal was the dimensions of a desktop computer and probably outweighed a labrador. It's not moving, and is set in the middle of a plastic tray so it's apparently supposed to be there. I go back upstairs.

"Hey Andrew." I say, nonchalantly. "So is the tortise in the fridge down there for soup or what?"

"The what?" says the other member of the group project. I don't remember her name, just that she always wore her hair in pigtails with butterfly clips that were based on real butterflies and she had at least a dozen species.

"Oh! No, that's Andrew Too." he says. "His species hibernates so he stays in the fridge for the holidays."

"You named your tortise after you?" I ask.

"No, uh- Well, my grandfather got him in Egypt or somewhere while he was on leave during the war and He was named Andrew, so he thought it would be funny to name him 'Andrew Too'. ...Then Mom named me after him so Gandpa left me Andrew Too in his will. He's pretty cool when he's awake. Lets us dress him up for summer holidays, doesn't bark."

"Oh!" Said Butterflies. "My dad served in the Gulf War too! What unit was he in?"

"Oh no, Grandpa was with the Royal Air Force in World War Two. Andrew Too is going to be 70 this year! We're going to make him a carrot cake!"

[fandomstookmylife]

Ya’ll. I started making clothes. I should never have been given this power.

https://quarter-life-crisis-4.creator-spring.com

[fandomstookmylife]

Ya’ll. I started making clothes. I should never have been given this power.

https://quarter-life-crisis-4.creator-spring.com

[mysharona1987]

Feels like he went to rather extreme lengths to get out of it, but hey I hate birthday parties too. I can relate.

[hitlersmonstercock]

A mood tbh

[wearewatcher]

This one goes to our Tumblr followers!

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

these virgins wouldnt last ten minutes on here

[funnytwittertweets]

[rhinozilla]

You know what I'm a slut for? When a character visibly drops a ruse. Like, the way their face changes the moment they give up a facade and reveal themselves.

This applies to revealing love, apathy, anger, evil intent. I mcfuckin love it.

[soupsy-daisy-deactivated2023072]

a lot of things happened today