[fanficnaticcc]

ilya rozanov mr. dark-humor-and-deflect has always made jokes at his own expense. he’s learned that it makes him more personable and easier to “handle” in some sense of the word. if a better explanation is that it sort of disarms him to people who would consider him intimidating.

but once he’s married to shane and the centaurs know about his depression this basically opens up free reign for all of his disturbing (but hilarious) jokes.

he doesn’t do it all the time but if he’s talking about something “deep” or is having a rough week all bets are off. and it’s frustrating asf for everyone involved including shane. mainly bc ilya truly is hilarious asf and for someone who learned english as a second language in his late teens he’s incredibly well versed in american/ canadian humor and has impeccably timing. (which is to be expected considering his timing on the ice)

but his general three topics of focus are usually his depression, personal suicide jokes (he never makes jokes about suicide as a whole or other people feeling this way- just his own feelings/ or attempts), and his family (which is mainly reserved for Galina).

the main problem everyone faces (mainly the centaurs) is that it’s either so unhinged it catches them off guard and makes them laugh or genuinely funny. but if shane catches anyone laughing no one will be laughing for a good two to three practices on the ice. like he never stops ilya from making the jokes bc he knows that’s how ilya copes. but that doesn’t mean he can’t stop others from inadvertently encouraging the emotional and mental deflections.

like Galina may chuckle, smirk in amusement, or even laugh that ilya catches her particularly off guard but she does heavily encourage him to talk through his feelings afterwards and be real and not deflect to divert attention to his real feelings. and this is how shane aids in that outside of sessions. (he talked to her abt this to make sure he wasn’t setting ilya back or overstepping and she said it’s a good way to sort of challenge ilya internally to evaluate and actually process his feelings or why he’s making that joke or another.) it’s also a good way for shane to help without being too overbearing or pushy.

while this does definitely help ilya also takes this as a challenge to be funnier bc he knows he’s hilarious and everyone’s holding out. (as someone in therapy who also uses humor to cope i too try to be funnier to get my therapist to crack as she doesn’t engage in my deflections to force me to actually express my feelings)

ilya knows he’s made a good joke of even shane can’t help but crack a smile. but ilya knows who he can and can’t joke around with. like david never admonishes him- just gives him and exasperated smile and squeezes his should in parental support. yuna does NOT play that shit. she won’t make him talk and she makes sure he knows she not actually mad at him. but she doesn’t tolerate any bad self talk (from shane or ilya) and she never finds it funny. (she secretly is impressed though she’ll never say that) svetlana rolls her eyes and may even lightly smack him on the back of his head calling him an idiot but she’s always smirking with amusement while doing it and on particularly rough days she’ll kiss his cheek in acknowledgement. marley laughs and i mean cackles. she’s a gotten pissed abt it more than once but marly can’t help it. ilya appreciated his laughter the most. scott ana kip js get that sad concerned look that’s too close to pity for ilya’s liking so they’re a no go. and luca weaponizes his sad puppy eyes (shane enlisted his help) to get ilya to stop. and the rest of the centaurs just try not to engage too heavily or they will be running a total of 175 bag skates for the next three practices.

[bad3idea3]

So Ilya and Shane's first game against the Bears post-outing is a surprising delight. It starts with a jumbotron video of street interviews of Boston fans being like "Yeah we thought Rozy was a total fucking idiot going to Ottawa but DAMN, moving for sexiest hockey player of the year Shane Hollander makes a lot more sense" which then fades into an Ilya Rozanov tribute video interspersed with various thirst-trappy videos of Shane to the song "Where is my Husband?" by Raye.

Ilya is delighted and even does the whole hand-waving choreography for "I would like a ring, a diamond ring" part in Shane's face as he blushes. He does this with his non-dominant hand of course, because they have been holding hands the whole video. (Shane will buy Ilya 7 different high-end diamond rings on Newbury Street the next day for him to pick from. Ilya like a good Slavic trophy spouse will pick all of them.)

And at the end, at the "Grandma said it," part cameras cut to Cliff Marlow in a curly gray wig and fake glasses shouting "Your husband is coming, Roz, don't fuck it up!

[fanficnaticcc]

and what if i add… that before this as ilya is skating out they blast “Hey Daddy (Daddy’s Home)” by Usher? completely unbeknownst to him. like our baby had no prior knowledge.

(i won’t take the credit for this, as i saw it in a fic where the raiders social media team made a post to ilya with this song while he was playing against boston. and now it’s my headcanon for everytime ilya comes back to boston to play since)

and it’s not just the start. oh, no no. they play all the way through to where it’s like “and all my ladies say hey, hey, hey daddy..” and the entire crowd plus some of the players on the ice (the little shits) are all screaming “hey daddy” to ilya.

he’s blushing furiously partially bc a whole crowd of ppl are calling him daddy and partially out of heartwarming (slightly exasperated) endearment. bc he grew up with boston and they still love him (and miss him).

(though, to be clear, i don’t believe that ilya personally liked being called daddy in a sexual sense).

anyways shane thinks i fucking hilarious. and when ilya comes back from hanging with marleau that night he says “oh look, daddy’s home!” they both grimace in disgust before breaking out into schoolboy giggles.

[fanficnaticcc]

and what if i said i have another onslaught of hollanov headcanons that are probs only plaguing me??? huh? what then??

ilya quotes tik tok audios but in his regular tone and inflection. or just completely deadpan. like he doesn’t even try to match the audio. and it’s always the super outrageous ones that sound a little insane out of context.

i.e. “someone sedate me!” “i need to buy a gun…” “i know what God really wants. he wants me to kms. that’s why he fucks with me…”

shane is so v concerned (bc that man avoids social media for the most part like the plague) and so he legit doesn’t get the references. and he’s abt one more weird comment from either calling Galina or putting ilya in a 72hr hold.

he only doesn’t when holmeburg hears ilya muttering one of the man quotes he’s picked up and subsequently finishes the quote for him. shane’s concerned for all of 20 secs that it’s some weird cult thing he missed until he realizes it must be a tik tok thing. (harris confirms after laughing at shane for a solid 5 mins)

idk if i’ve mentioned this before but ilya does indeed have adhd. he doesn’t take medicine for it tho. in part because he doesn’t really “need” to. like his job is something he’s learned how to do and adjust to without it. also it expels a lot of that energy he has.

i also think that it took a lot for ilya to even take anti-depressants (namely 8 and 1/2 months of therapy with Galina, a really bad depressive episode of which he’s never felt closer to his mother, and an unofficial suicide watch orchestrated by the hollanders and centuries unbeknownst to ilya)

so the adhd medicine is off the table until further notice. and it’s honestly not bad. like the coping mechanisms from therapy are working just fine. also depression is connected with adhd and anxiety. so it sort of helps to be so aware of it and what is likely triggering the other.

i also think ilya has a mixture of hyperactivity and the “inattentive”/ attention deficit aspects.

ilya always forgets to take his medicine/ if he took it. the only reason it’s taken on a fairly regular basis is bc shane ALWAYS remembers. even when ilya is being stubborn and won’t ask bc he feels like it’s not shane’s responsibility to tell him if he took it or not, shane will even know if he can’t remember or won’t ask for help.

when asked he just says he knows ilya that well. really it’s bc they spend almost 24/7 together and shane’s learned ilya’s habits enough to be able to decipher if he had taken his medicine or not depending on the order of his tasks that day. but he can’t say that bc then he sounds like an obsessive weirdo (affectionate). so he keeps the mystic and whimsy.

shane starts OCD exposure therapy and he somehow makes it a competition??? he essentially pushes himself too fast too soon trying to “beat they hierarchy”. they restart and create stricter guidelines and mandatory check in to avoid this happening again. he thinks this sucks ass now bc it’s no longer a “fun way to emotionally/mentally challenge” himself

shane’s quick to anger/ irritation while ilya is quick to tears or getting upset.

ilya isn’t allowed to rage bait shane anymore bc he was starting to get actually angry with ilya.

i also think that ilya hates real arguments. mainly bc they remind him too much of his brother and his dad. esp with how aggressive and combative they were.

but bc he has adhd brain and arguing and fighting (makes more sense why he chirps sm and gets in fights on the ice) gives ur brain surges of dopamine he does like to play fight. like mindless HARMLESS bickering that’s down out of playfulness and love and very much not real at all.

everyone thinks shane is the sensitive one but it’s ilya. like he genuinely takes sm shit to heart and gets his big little feelings hurt.

which in part is js who he is and in part bc of the rejection sensitivity of adhd. (i also think he had high rejection sensitivity. and yes im projecting but idc)

shane gets extreme cuteness aggression with ilya and legit bites his face. never heard enough to leave a mark but firm enough that the itch goes away in his teeth.

after finally feeling safe and stable with shane, ilya cries A LOT. like legit over some of the stupidest shit. shane at first thinks he did something wrong and when he’s assured he hasn’t, he thinks there’s something going on with ilya.

ilya has to tell him that it’s actually mostly bc he was repressing his feelings for so long that now that he feels safe they often come out in big ways or seemingly inappropriate times.

but also a big part of it is that ilya is our resident crybaby. always has and always will be. and there’s nothing wrong with it. but i think its js really off putting to everyone that curated this idea of ilya (even shane to some degree) and having it completely disproven.

shane has a special inside hammock in their house. it’s where he decompresses, relaxes and reads a lot. no ilya isn’t allowed in it unless he can behave. and they absolutely do not have sex in it. (that’s what the sex hammock is for 🙄) ilya has been banned for a significant amount of time before for trying to initiate in shane’s hammock. he didn’t try again after that.

shane LOVESSSSSSS Rotten Mangos. i think ofc he does love hockey shit and documentaries but he does have other interests. he specifically loves Stephanie Soo bc of how in-depth all her episodes are and that you can tell she does the research. she’s also super respectful which he also admires.

i think shane doesn’t love regular true crime shit bc of the dramatizations and how a lot of times they’re vague. so he always preferred podcast anyways. one thing led to another and he found Stephanie Soo and it’s all history from there.

he doesn’t have a preference for listening to the episodes vs watching them but if ilya is with him they watch bc he knows ilya is more of a visual person

ilya lovessssss OLD trash reality tv. new trash reality tv pisses him off tho. so, he’ll watch the v beginning seasons of the Kardashians, early Are You The One?, Jersey Shore, The Challenge, TeenMom, early Catfish, etc.

shane does the dad thing where he pretends he’s not interested but will stand behind the couch asking questions and putting in his two cents. whenever ilya asks if he wants him to restart it shane says “no” but moves to sit next to ilya and hands him the remote so he can restart it.

shane actually kinda hates cooking. like he did it bc it’s a necessity for yk living and bc his diet used to be so complicated that no one else quite did it right. but he doesn’t enjoy it.

ilya enjoys it but it took him a while to get into it bc his dad wouldn’t let him help in the kitchen after he turned 8 bc that’s a “woman’s place”

neither of them really knew how to do like around the house handy work. ilya bc he always grew up in some city and if there was something wrong it was best not to be around his father while he fixed it.

while shane knows a little more (bc david will be DAMNED if he’s letting his baby off to live by himself and he doesn’t know basic handy work) but still not super in depth bc he would have rather done hockey stuff than learn

if something’s wrong they call david. he used this as a teaching moment every time. much to their dismay a lot of the time. but they do learn (tho shane takes to handy work a bit better). they do still call david to make sure they aren’t fucking anything up tho

if it’s mechanic shit, then they call yuna. i headcanon that her dad was a mechanic and taught her everything so she was self sufficient and so shops couldn’t get over on her js bc she’s a woman.

it works about the same way it does with david but when it comes to cars ilya takes better to it.

shane has bigger hands so he always asks ilya to reach his hand in somewhere or get something bc “his hands are smaller”. they truly aren’t THAT much smaller but ilya’s always able to do it while shane can’t so he doesn’t argue.

okay on this next one js follow me. so i think ilya was a breastfed baby but like irina couldn’t ween him off til he was almost 4. and it was more of a comfort thing for ilya esp bc he didn’t take a pacifier and grigori wouldn’t have allowed him to take one after he turned 2 anyways. why he didn’t care abt breastfeeding? well bc he’s stupid and irina js said it was normal and a womanly thing of which he had no knowledge of. (which in all truthfulness every kid is different and a 3 yr old still drinking breast milk isn’t THAT abnormal)

anyways bc of this ilya as an adult still loves skin to skin contact. like yes, he’s a touchy person in general but something about bare skin on skin fills his soul.

shane for the most part doesn’t mind as long as they don’t fall asleep like that. mainly bc ilya drools in his sleep and shane hates the feeling of drool pooling of his bare skin

they’re the type to mad at one another but still hold hands. they started doing this after extensively working on themselves and one another separately. bc they way they were fighting in the begging stages of their relationship (*cough* TLG *cough*) was not it. and leaving is not the answer. needing to step away from the conversation is but not clarifying why you need to walk away is not.

yuna makes them play family board games in their “get along” shirt. yes, she made them a shirt for this specific reason. yes,it is hilarious. no she does not gaf

ilya’s over dramatic but shane will genuinely complain about things more.

they both do that parent thing of “ask mom” “ask dad” with the rookies. like they’ll ask one of them something and be sent back and forth across the locker room to ask the other.

[fanficnaticcc]

okay, so i’m back with another thing of unhinged hollanov headcanons but this round is all about… Mpreg (yay???)

okay firstly i want to say suspension of disbelief will take you everywhere and thats exactly where it will be taking us on this journey.

secondly, this is not Omegaverse (again suspension of disbelief) so it’s more of like anyone of any gender can get pregnant but it’s harder for men to get pregnant bc their baby carrying parts are in slightly different places than women

and the last preface is that for me it makes the most sense for ilya to be pregnant. because just on a sensory level, pregnancy would be not only a nightmare but extremely overwhelming and disconcerting for shane.

also i feel like he would HATE how he couldn’t control his body. as well as the general body horror that comes from something literally growing inside of you would definitely basically make shane have an aneurysm. (okay now onto the fun stuff)

i think that ilya actually gets pregnant on accident. Like yes, by this point in their marriage they’ve talked about it, and they do know that generally it can be a possibility- especially bc they don’t subscribe to the condom propaganda (ilya’s saying)- but him being pregnant was NOT intentional.

the Centaurs are going after their third cup, this upcoming year and small baby is conceived after a particularly good win (they’re being humble, it was a 5-0 blowout) against the Metros in the preseason.

shane and ilya actually had a bet going for the game. whoever scored a hat trick at all/ first gets to top. they both only score twice but shane made an assist for the last one and he almost instigated a fight on ilya’s behalf. so, ilya couldn’t give less of a fuck that it was a tie, he would much rather focus on his hot husband putting him through the mattress thank you very much.

(ilya later jokes that shane must have some super sperm)

they find out about a week or two into regular season when ilya’s getting his normal yearly bloodwork done for the season.

they handle it well (or as well as they can) but decide overall the only people to know will be close friends and family. so many choices were taken from them to come out and do things their way that they both refuse to have the choice taken from them, especially concerning their child.

ilya’s still allowed to practice but he’s not allowed to skate in games or be hit. so during games for the first trimester he sits on the bench in his suit and during practice he wears a bright red penny (which he hates) that indicates that no one can touch him and it goes pretty well all things considered.

after shane’s parents, sveta, luca, wyatt, zane, and marleau are the first to know. sveta because obviously, that’s literally their kids aunt. luca because despite how much shane gripes, that was their second first baby (yes anya was the first). wyatt because to be that is shane’s close and personal friend. and he’s the only loving idiot on the team (other than their love child) who can be chill for tweleve seconds. zane because he is also ilya’s close and personal friend and he helps keep everyone from hounding shane and ilya about why ilya can’t play. plus while ilya is out he’s captain. marleau is the godfather so he has to know.

the rest of the team finds out during the second trimester because that’s when you’re generally in the clear to tell people anyways. they all immediately start to plan a babyshower but actually get told by shane that sveta and marleau (unlikely but great pair) are already planning one because they know ilya best besides shane.

jackie finds out at least two weeks before hayden bc ilya is a little shit. he actually finds out AFTER the centaur WAGS.

ilya and jackie made it into a little game to see how long it would take him to peace it together with all the little hints. (shane had to tell him. ilya won the bet.)

ilya doesn’t start showing until like month 6. but when he does he wears all his normal clothes unless he’s out in public. shane thinks is equal parts adorable as it is hot to see his belly bump popping out.

everyone often forgets that shane’s actually the bitchy one out of the two until ilya is pregnant. 1. bc shane only gets more mean now that his baby is having his baby and 2. bc ilya is a mix between a walking angel pregnant and a moody asshole.

and by that i mean less that he’s an actual asshole and more that his attitude is on 13 thousand. Like the amount of side eyes and eye rolls he does while pregnant should set a record.

also ilya is more vocal about his needs and wants on a serious note. like usually he’ll just take what people gives him or adapts (a habit shane is lovingly trying to break) but pregnant??? oh fuck all of that shit. if he doesn’t like something or he wants something then thats that. he’s growing a whole ass human fuck you very much.

he cries a lot but it’s half pregnancy hormones and half because he’s simultaneously examining and healing parts of himself and his childhood throughout the entire pregnancy.

from actually expressing his needs (and having them not only met AND exceeded but handled with full enthusiasm), thinking about his mom and if she was there to experience it with him, as well as how lonely she must have been, deconstructing his dads previously instilled notions, how HE would have handled ilya’s pregnancy, AND the life and family he’s giving his child that is s fundamentally different but healthy, has him in a sobbing mess at least once a week.

Galina tells him how good all of this work is especially with how diligently he’s working to be better for his child (and himself).

shane takes all of it in stride and is the best husband and birthing partner anyone could have.

to ilya’s chargin all his cravings are (admittedly disgusting) and healthy. he blames shane. shane loves it but also indulges in getting ilya really anything he wants even if it’s not healthy as long as it’s doctor approved.

shane is also fiercely overprotective- which is saying something for how protective he ALREADY was over ilya- but tries to not be overbearing or let ilya be any the wiser to it. (ilya knows because ofc he knows but he lets shane think he’s gotten away with it.)

ilya still works out regularly- though ofc less rigorously.

after he’s about 8 months he is on watch though. mainly because his body is telling him to sit tf down but he’s restless and shane caught him on a ladder in the nursery (“-it was literally a step stool. god shane, you are so dramatic. would think YOU were pregnant.”) putting up stars on the ceiling.

so, if shane cant be home to puppy guard, then his parents or someone on the team and even notably sveta one week when shane had a brand deal out of the country will make sure ilya isn’t overly straining himself.

luca and all the rookies are banned from ilya duty unless they are accompanied by an older member of the team that can’t be easily dissuaded into letting ilya do as he pleases.

plus ilya is still team dad even if he isn’t on the ice, so it’s hard for the rookies to not listen to him or let him do things on his own bc he is capable.

shane is one of those husbands that has pregnancy symptoms with/ for their partner. so much so they were concerned they accidentally were gonna have a double pregnancy. (they aren’t. shane’s just empathetic to his babies)

ilya has morning sickness for the first like 6 weeks but after that he’s one of those people who just GLOW while pregnant. many of the ways grumble (lovingly) about how unfair it is. he does have terrible back and hip pain/soreness though.

yuna and david DOTE on ilya. he's preenig the entire time. shane rolls his eyes but he falls in line right behind them with increased enthusiasm.

marleau texts ilya and shane just to check in almost daily and him and ilya facetime at least once a week. he also sends gift baskets (if he cant be there to deliver in person) at the end of each trimester. each one has a card with either jokes or kind words of encouragement.

he also always asks about how ilya is doing before mentioning the baby. (he remembers his sisters always complaining that when anyone called during and after pregnancy they only cares to ask or talk about the baby and never about how they were doing. and he wants his little brother to know he cares about him and the baby not the baby AND him)

when sveta hears about the gift baskets she starts sending gifts as well and a day earlier to one up marly. (it’s mainly out of good fun and some competitive flirting. ilya can’t say shit bc of his whole… yk situation that sort of got him here)

shane suggests they skip the situationship part and just fuck already. they both tell him they already have/are.

he quietly wonders if this was what everyone else was suffering through with him and ilya (yes, yes, it was).

you would think being pregnant would curve this, but it only makes it worse really. ilya is the horniest he’s every been in his entire life this entire pregnancy. especially when shanes doing something terrible domestic like putting the strollers together, or (struggling) to put the carseats (he bought four???) into the various cars the baby will frequent. shane benefits and suffers from this. benefits bc ofc the obvious and suffers bc ilya always catches him while he’s in the middle of building something. but it doesn't matter because he truly couldn’t be happier to indulge his husband.

once the bump gets bigger it makes things increasingly difficult but they’ve always been innovative so they make it work. (god bless yoga)

shane and ilya do yoga together every morning. (real yoga not bed yoga. though they do that too). it helps with a lot of the back and hip pain.

everyone thinks shane got ilya a SUV for his “push gift” (he’s not even pushing, he’s having a goddamn C-section). it’s not, it’s just a reason for him to get ilya to finally sell one of his various death-mobiles and get asensible car the baby can actually ride in.

his actual push gift doesn't cost much money at all. he plants a tree in their backyard with surrounding plants to make a garden. not just any garden but more of a memoriam of irina so that the baby (and by extension ilya) can have her close… without Russia. and so she can “watch” the kid and ilya and their family grow.

it’s irina’s favorite tree surrounded by her and ilya’s favorite flowers.

when ilya sees it and shane explains what it all means (and assures ilya he’ll uproot everything if it’s too much or he hates it) ilya cries so much he throws up. like genuinely throws up on their back patio.

but it’s because he loves it so much and he loves shane. and no ones ever loved him this deeply or known him this well to do something like this- to think of something like this.

the throwing up was unintentional, he later assures shane. he literally just cried so hard that he couldn’t keep his dinner down. which he tries to apologize for (and clean up) but shane doesn't let him. partially because it was his fault as it was bc of his gift. and also because even though it is admittedly nasty, he’ll take care of ilya in any timeline for any reason, so he doesn’t mind.

okay so that’s all i have for now but if y’all want more Mpreg Ilya headcanons lmk bc def have more brewing. pleas enjoy my insanity (also if anyone wants it i can link my fav pregnant ilya fic)

[solarsunshine]

if i could change one thing about the game changers series it would be the fucking trip. i hate it, nay, i loathe it. we already have to deal with the outing and what feels like damn near villainization of shane’s intent/character. the long game just doesn’t work for me because it really feels like beating shane down for ilya to have a happy ending and i just can’t, like fuck at least let shane have some dignity in hockey.

[fanficnaticcc]

and what if i said i agree? what if i said i highk hate how TLG executed and i feel like it doesn’t do justice to the beautifully constructed (no matter how intentional or not).

like i do think the premise of the stories overall- between HR and TLG- are very good. i js think it’s a right message wrong messager type deal. bc Rachel can not and has not accurately represented shane’s character well considering his asian heritage and all that comes with being in a white male dominated field as a non white person. as WELL as all of the niches unintentionally (bc i don’t think she made him as complex as he is on purpose) made for his character. like diving into the aspect of how my baby is clearly autistic and what that means for his day to day life esp with being in a career that banks on a lot of social interactions. or how it is navigating a relationship as someone who’s neurodivergent with someone who (as i headcanon ilya to also be neurodivergent specifically with ADHD and it’s MY canon bc i don’t like most of actual canon) is also potentially neurodivergent but in a different way.

but regardless being in a relationship with someone who has based their entire life (esp bc he had to yk learn another language) off of reading people through body and facial cues. expressing themselves through those same cues (and subsequently hiding behind those bc he learned so well what others meant). and how hard that must be for shane who doesn’t pick up on those cues and can’t just communicate with body language.

but also how growing up in such a toxic environment (hockey) can reconstruct your own fears and how you feel abt yourself. bc yes it was society bc it was 2009 but ALSO A LOT OF THAT INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA IS FROM HOCKEYYYYY. like yes we talk about it but she doesn’t dive into it enough for me bc it truly does have such a great impact to shane’s character and why he’s so scared to be outed. there is a reason and method behind his madness and not all of it is anxiety.

like ugh it pisses me off so badly. that and the overt asian fetishization and how heavily the entire series leans into gay stereotypes and feeds off of queer fetishization. but that’s neither here nor there.

regardless neither shane nor ilya are the villain. their complicated individuals and i’m not sure everyone actually gets that and doesn’t just see them as a mode for a sexual fantasy.

[fanficnaticcc]

another unhinged heated rivalry headcanon brought to you on this lovely mother’s day bc i love to giggle (and i know mother’s day inspires an angsty hellscape for my baby ilya rozanov)

okay so i do in fact concede to the headcanon that ilya loves megan the stallion. now to add onto that i actually believe that ilya very much so has a rap playlist to get hyped up for games. i also think he has a playlist filled with party plaits filled with twerk music. but that’s less for him and more for shane.

(fun fact twerk music bc of the beat/ bass track in the back is great for when you’re feeling anxious or having an anxiety attack. bc your heart naturally mimics the beats and the music is the right bpm for you’re heart to mellow it out. i’ve tried it personally and it works.)

so even though i do believe shane doesn’t really listen to music like that. ilya will play it when he knows shane’s spiraling. and before they moved in together and were on the same team ilya shared a spotify with shane so he always had access to the playlist when needed. (he actually used it more often than he would admit)

but anyways i believe that ilya is a strong advocate for female rappers. like he loves them. in part bc of svetlana and her putting him on to a lot of the early 90s and 2000s female rappers but also bc he js enjoys their wordplay and flow better.

but also this is like very common knowledge. like he would play this playlist when he was at the Bears, blasting it in his car, once he’s on the Centaurs- everywhere. shit he even posts stories and pics with the songs on instagram.

and he was very into the party scene for a while. esp at a time when nicki minaji was in her essential prime and featured on almost every club song fr.

but anyways his love for cardi b and nicki supersede his love for most other female rappers. though he has a good mix of everyone from mainstream to underground rappers on his playlist.

bc of how often he posts their songs, they actually start to like reply back. it gets to the point where meg sends him some tickets and ilya returns the favor and sends her back box seat tickets and some flowers. they end up building a beautiful platonic friendship (though before he and shane are outed everyone thinks he’s dating megan when they’re pictured together). meg even sends over flowers and a heartfelt card after they’re outed. i also believe him and cardi bond over their pasts within the club scene (though extremely different). both cardi and meg send wedding gifts because they can’t make the actual wedding due to their conflicting schedules.

ilya and meg also bond over having to rise to fame all by themselves without family and esp without their late mothers that they lived so much. they are the only people they’ve met that truly understand where they’re coming from within those capacities and how hard it is to miss someone so much that you can never have back. like them being so similar yet v different is the main reason they’re so close and they get along so well.

ilya has made multiple cameos within music videos for not only them but other artists. and he’s their number 1 supporter when a new bun drops. like they’re so locked in they have scheduled meet ups to hang out whenever they’re in the same city.

shane thinks it’s adorable and still teases ilya about it relentlessly bc he’s still a bit starstruct that either one of them wants to be friends WITH HIM?! bc wtf is his life??? he’s married to the SHANE HOLLANDER AND HE’S CLOSE FRIENDS WITH CARDI B AND MEGAN THEE STALLION????

more than one hockey player has approached ilya trying to get either of their number. ilya says no with a quickness. please don’t play with him. no one in the league is worth of either of them. he’s not even sure if HE’S worthy to be friends with them, so like please don’t come to him with no bs.

after everything happens with cardi and offset, no song of the migos is allowed to be played unless cardi is featured.

and after the meg and play situation ilya not only sends her a huge gift basket with a custom cartier bracket but he highk tries to set her up with svetlana after an agreeable amount of time has passed. he’s successful and they make the cutest couple. (yes, this is also me pushing my crack ship agenda of meg x svetlana, i don’t care)

(i really do hope my crackship gains traction i would love to see a fic or snippet of meglana 🙏🏽)

[fanficnaticcc]

also to add to this (bc i js saw an old zendaya video when she used to dance to songs in the car in like 2018/2019 and earlier and now im heavily inspired)

i think svetlana has HUNDREDS of snap memories like that of ilya on her snapchat. like is absurd how many she has. but those are the few fleeting memories she has of ilya letting loose and having fun without worry of outside perception.

i feel like the only reason anyone knows abt them is bc after shane and ilya get on the same team, online ppl are giving ilya a lot of flax. questioning if he can be good enough to be on a team with shane instead of competing against him and whether he should be captain of the centaurs at all. basically forgetting who tf he is.

she posts the old video to her insta story (with ilya’s permission) of him singing nicki’s part of No Flex Zone starting at the “bitch i’ve been hot since flip phones”. she adds a “act like y’all know” on top of the video.

it’s goes absolutely viral. (the centaurs play that exact part of the song as ilya skates out at the next game) everyone’s asking for more videos but sveta releases them sparingly. it’s a holy experience everytime, trust.

[fanficnaticcc]

another unhinged heated rivalry headcanon brought to you on this lovely mother’s day bc i love to giggle (and i know mother’s day inspires an angsty hellscape for my baby ilya rozanov)

okay so i do in fact concede to the headcanon that ilya loves megan the stallion. now to add onto that i actually believe that ilya very much so has a rap playlist to get hyped up for games. i also think he has a playlist filled with party plaits filled with twerk music. but that’s less for him and more for shane.

(fun fact twerk music bc of the beat/ bass track in the back is great for when you’re feeling anxious or having an anxiety attack. bc your heart naturally mimics the beats and the music is the right bpm for you’re heart to mellow it out. i’ve tried it personally and it works.)

so even though i do believe shane doesn’t really listen to music like that. ilya will play it when he knows shane’s spiraling. and before they moved in together and were on the same team ilya shared a spotify with shane so he always had access to the playlist when needed. (he actually used it more often than he would admit)

but anyways i believe that ilya is a strong advocate for female rappers. like he loves them. in part bc of svetlana and her putting him on to a lot of the early 90s and 2000s female rappers but also bc he js enjoys their wordplay and flow better.

but also this is like very common knowledge. like he would play this playlist when he was at the Bears, blasting it in his car, once he’s on the Centaurs- everywhere. shit he even posts stories and pics with the songs on instagram.

and he was very into the party scene for a while. esp at a time when nicki minaji was in her essential prime and featured on almost every club song fr.

but anyways his love for cardi b and nicki supersede his love for most other female rappers. though he has a good mix of everyone from mainstream to underground rappers on his playlist.

bc of how often he posts their songs, they actually start to like reply back. it gets to the point where meg sends him some tickets and ilya returns the favor and sends her back box seat tickets and some flowers. they end up building a beautiful platonic friendship (though before he and shane are outed everyone thinks he’s dating megan when they’re pictured together). meg even sends over flowers and a heartfelt card after they’re outed. i also believe him and cardi bond over their pasts within the club scene (though extremely different). both cardi and meg send wedding gifts because they can’t make the actual wedding due to their conflicting schedules.

ilya and meg also bond over having to rise to fame all by themselves without family and esp without their late mothers that they lived so much. they are the only people they’ve met that truly understand where they’re coming from within those capacities and how hard it is to miss someone so much that you can never have back. like them being so similar yet v different is the main reason they’re so close and they get along so well.

ilya has made multiple cameos within music videos for not only them but other artists. and he’s their number 1 supporter when a new bun drops. like they’re so locked in they have scheduled meet ups to hang out whenever they’re in the same city.

shane thinks it’s adorable and still teases ilya about it relentlessly bc he’s still a bit starstruct that either one of them wants to be friends WITH HIM?! bc wtf is his life??? he’s married to the SHANE HOLLANDER AND HE’S CLOSE FRIENDS WITH CARDI B AND MEGAN THEE STALLION????

more than one hockey player has approached ilya trying to get either of their number. ilya says no with a quickness. please don’t play with him. no one in the league is worth of either of them. he’s not even sure if HE’S worthy to be friends with them, so like please don’t come to him with no bs.

after everything happens with cardi and offset, no song of the migos is allowed to be played unless cardi is featured.

and after the meg and play situation ilya not only sends her a huge gift basket with a custom cartier bracket but he highk tries to set her up with svetlana after an agreeable amount of time has passed. he’s successful and they make the cutest couple. (yes, this is also me pushing my crack ship agenda of meg x svetlana, i don’t care)

(i really do hope my crackship gains traction i would love to see a fic or snippet of meglana 🙏🏽)

[fanficnaticcc]

elaborate on the clicker trainimg... please...

i so glad you asked, now i have a preamble to be freaky on main 😛 (im joking…. halfway)

okay so, shane does have ilya clicker trained. it was a whole process to really get there though.

even though shane and ilya didn’t discuss a lot of their sex lives and dynamics for a while (being young dumb and generally js experimenting without proper discussion) once they are officially “lovers” they do make an effort to do things the right way esp as they start implementing new things

i FIRMLY believe shane and ilya are both huge switches. like yes ilya does start off the majority of their relationship being dominant but that’s bc it’s what he does with all his casual hookups. and it’s safe. once him and shane are more serious and he realizes it’s okay to be vulnerable he’s submissive just as much as he’s dominant (and often a good amount of time the urges mix)

shane on the other hand i believe was more submissive bc he wasn’t as experienced. so he let ilya lead and i believe as his confidence surrounding sex grows, so does his confidence in being dominant.

bc on a real note i think for both of them, being in either headspace clears their heads. bc if they’re dominant they’re worried abt conducting the scene (if they’re doing one) or taking care of the other in whatever various way.

plus i believe being dominant gives gives them different things in a way. shane takes on more dominant role in the bedroom when he feels like he’s out of control of too many things in his life. while ilya will take on a more submissive role, if he feels like he has too much on his plate to control and needs someone to take the reins for a while.

though of course those aren’t the only reasons but they do factor in quite a lot.

regardless they thoroughly talked about clicker training before doing it. as shane didn’t want ilya to feel like it was something he had no control in or couldn’t resist if it did work. (which they weren’t sure it would considering how extensively they talked about it.) but ilya assured shane that he trusted him and knew he wouldn’t be malevolent and do it in an oppressive or harmful way.

it actually came up from mr. freaky himself shane hollander. the original reason was bc he noticed that ilya was having a hard time “dropping” into the headspace fully still likely from the years of having his walls up and protecting his vulnerability. so he was looking up ways to amend that so he could bring it up to ilya and came across clicker training.

to me they clicker training is what got them into the puppy sub top ilya hellscape that we all love and adore (or at least i think we all do)

do they start by shane using it mixed in with praise and pointed phrases and it works.

shanes strict, consistent, and extremely regimented abt it all so that also helps.

too damn well actually. so much so, that they have to change the clicker they use to a weird sounding one (luckily they weren’t in too deep that this was hard) bc ilya’s at a team meeting where someone’s clicking a pen repeatedly (one that sounded like the original clicker) and he got half hard unintentionally

afterwards shane does get ilya a collar and then even a diamond encrusted one after they’re married. (bc again shane will spoil his husband as much as he sees fit)

i know i said i was gonna use this as my chance to get freaky on main but this feels like a lot of semantics instead of any actual freakiness…

but anyways who cares, i might post more of my freak4freak hollanov later when i think of more 😛

[itsbatkingcazzle]

please please please Shane giving Ilya princess treatment out in the open and people seeing, seething with jealousy. God, pretty please. He hates the way Ilya drives and wants him safe, so he's the one that drives everywhere. He takes them to practice and games, and sometimes they rent cars during away games, and Shane drives them then, too. He always opens the door for Ilya and Ilya uses the opportunity to ask Shane for a kiss before he closes the door.

Ilya tends to hide injuries and now that they're in a team together, he can hide them from him, so Shane's constantly carrying things for him. He'll carry grocery bags, practice bags, take-out, everything. He's always holding onto stuff or taking things from Ilya's hand. He'll constantly appear on centaurs promo videos holding things for Ilya, like his phone or his sticks.

Once they start planning for kids, Shane buys a sensible, reliable volvo to be their parent car and Ilya brags about it on social media like, "my man just bought me a new car while your broke boyfriend takes you to olive garden and calls you high maintenance break up with him."

Ilya loves pda but Shane's still hesitant to start it for himself so whenever they want to get some physical reassurance or need to be closer, Shane pulls Ilya closer to him rather than going to him. Shane's sitting down and Ilya's close to the couch, he pulls on him so he's resting his hip against his shoulder. They're sitting together on a couch, he pulls Ilya so he's leaning on him. There's no more seats, he pulls Ilya on his lap.

They make a interior design/architecture video about their properties and Ilya's going off about Shane buying him building, house, a condo. "My grown, mature husband who knows about finances and adult stuff, invested for me, and he got me a house."

He's always bragging about having a "my rich, hockey husband," despite Ilya earning more from his contract. One time one of the cens let it slip that hollanov sometimes upgrade their hotel rooms, and Ilya's telling everyone Shane's responsible for that. Once Ilya retires, Ilya acts like Shane's paying for everything whenever they go out to eat or buy anything that can be considered luxury. The sugar daddy jokes get worse.

He's going "my man, my man, my man" every day. Don't ask him about his husband because he will talk about him at length, but his man doesn't like that.

[fanficnaticcc]

no bc YES YES YES

like ilya is incredibly soft for shane and does all of this sweet stuff for his husband and dotes on him but MR. SHANE HOLLANDER-ROZANOV does not play abt his baby.

like i fully believe shane realized that ilya hasn’t someone dote on him or take care of him to the same degree he does for others probably since his mom. so shane MUST give his baby the soft life he deserves.

and ilya my sweet baby is INSUFFERABLE abt it. like he’s arguing in the comments talking about some “okay but what does your man do? oh okay, OH OKAY! that’s what i thought 🙄😒”

some of the guys even wanna have him kicked from the WAGs gc bc ilya is inadvertently making them look bad with how much he brags abt shane and what he does for him. (mind you shane is ALSO in the gc but that’s not the point rn)

ilya uses “shane’s credit card” when he goes out with the girls and he NEVER SHUTS UP ABT IT. “oh no ladies, i’ve got it. my HUSBAND gave me his card to pay for it. said to treat myself 😛”

mind you it’s from their joint bank account, the card js has shane’s name on it. but that doesn’t matter. ilya is living his spoiled rich hockey husband dreams, fuck you very much.

[itsbatkingcazzle]

yeesss shane knows he's so lucky to have someone as loving and caring as ilya so of course he spoils his husband. fuck his family and the people that only see what the media says about him. ilya deserves to have all the unconditional love, ofc he's going to treat irina's baby right.

[fanficnaticcc]

yes yes!! you get it.

to shane, ilya will always be irina’s baby. and the LEAST he can do is take care of him like she would have done or wanted someone to in her absence.

also it speaks so highly of their relationship for shane to love ilya so softly in return despite all assumptions and notions against him. like it proves how much he knows him. ilya isn’t js soft for his husband. he’s soft for the people he loves. that’s the distinction the media doesn’t make and that shane refuses to conform to.

[fanficnaticcc]

i had an unhinged thought/heated rivalry headcanon and so i just share w/ the masses

okay so for background context the centaurs do one of those “football players do ballet” videos for social media… but harris has them try pole dancing instead. it’s a litter dirty (read the video is full of innuendo) but overall super fun and innocent. and highlights how strong pole dancers are and tries to help yk break some of the stigma surround pole dancing.

anyways the headcanon isn’t abt the pole dancing. though i do believe that ilya is good to a point that it’s highly questionable. (it’s to the point that harris tells shane to be on the opp side of the room and not look at him bc he can’t edit out the hungry look in shane’s eyes) and shane’s good on a technical standpoint esp for someone who’s never done it before but he’s still as all hell.

anyways the video gets posted and gains a lot of traction as suspected. most of the comments are all in good fun if not overly freaky (but again that’s expected).

but then people start honing in on ilya and talking about how promiscuous he must be. and some ppl try to take it as far as to say he was selling himself for sex. (which immediately gets shut down by yuna bc that’s her baby and who tf you feeling like???) but even that mainly doesn’t get much traction bc again yuna doesn’t play.

what DOES gain a bit of momentum is a recently retired bigoted player making a twitter repost of the video saying “we’re really supposed to believe that Ilya Rozanov is in love with Shane Hollander when he acts like that??? This really confirms their whole relationship is the equivalent to a stripper saying she loves you 🙄🤣”

it blows up enough to get shane’s attention. and bc shane doesn’t need to hide anymore and is way more confident in himself (also read a petty petty bitch) HE replies to the tweet with a candid picture of ilya spinning upside down on the poll looking right at the camera (with presumably shane behind it considering how he’s looking at the person) and going “Just because that stripper didn’t love YOU, doesn’t mean my stripper doesn’t love ME. We are not the same.”

it blows the absolute fuck up. everyone’s going crazy abt how protective and possessive shane is. a lot of ppl are bashing the player. even more are asking to be shane and ilya’s third. harris considers sending a cease and desist but in all truthfulness its not that bad or overtly sexual and shane deserves to defend his husband and their relationship on main. (plus harris thinks it’s hilarious when shane gets this way with the media. despite refusing to show that bc shane is js as much of a gremlin as ilya is.)

ilya, the little shit, replied to shane’s post saying “when would you like a private showing Mr. Hollander-Rozanov? i’m available this evening. 😊”

twitter legit almost glitched tf out after that. and shane does indeed go upstairs and get his private showing after seeing that tweet. (they add a stripper pole to their home gym)

[itsbatkingcazzle]

please please please Shane giving Ilya princess treatment out in the open and people seeing, seething with jealousy. God, pretty please. He hates the way Ilya drives and wants him safe, so he's the one that drives everywhere. He takes them to practice and games, and sometimes they rent cars during away games, and Shane drives them then, too. He always opens the door for Ilya and Ilya uses the opportunity to ask Shane for a kiss before he closes the door.

Ilya tends to hide injuries and now that they're in a team together, he can hide them from him, so Shane's constantly carrying things for him. He'll carry grocery bags, practice bags, take-out, everything. He's always holding onto stuff or taking things from Ilya's hand. He'll constantly appear on centaurs promo videos holding things for Ilya, like his phone or his sticks.

Once they start planning for kids, Shane buys a sensible, reliable volvo to be their parent car and Ilya brags about it on social media like, "my man just bought me a new car while your broke boyfriend takes you to olive garden and calls you high maintenance break up with him."

Ilya loves pda but Shane's still hesitant to start it for himself so whenever they want to get some physical reassurance or need to be closer, Shane pulls Ilya closer to him rather than going to him. Shane's sitting down and Ilya's close to the couch, he pulls on him so he's resting his hip against his shoulder. They're sitting together on a couch, he pulls Ilya so he's leaning on him. There's no more seats, he pulls Ilya on his lap.

They make a interior design/architecture video about their properties and Ilya's going off about Shane buying him building, house, a condo. "My grown, mature husband who knows about finances and adult stuff, invested for me, and he got me a house."

He's always bragging about having a "my rich, hockey husband," despite Ilya earning more from his contract. One time one of the cens let it slip that hollanov sometimes upgrade their hotel rooms, and Ilya's telling everyone Shane's responsible for that. Once Ilya retires, Ilya acts like Shane's paying for everything whenever they go out to eat or buy anything that can be considered luxury. The sugar daddy jokes get worse.

He's going "my man, my man, my man" every day. Don't ask him about his husband because he will talk about him at length, but his man doesn't like that.

[fanficnaticcc]

no bc YES YES YES

like ilya is incredibly soft for shane and does all of this sweet stuff for his husband and dotes on him but MR. SHANE HOLLANDER-ROZANOV does not play abt his baby.

like i fully believe shane realized that ilya hasn’t someone dote on him or take care of him to the same degree he does for others probably since his mom. so shane MUST give his baby the soft life he deserves.

and ilya my sweet baby is INSUFFERABLE abt it. like he’s arguing in the comments talking about some “okay but what does your man do? oh okay, OH OKAY! that’s what i thought 🙄😒”

some of the guys even wanna have him kicked from the WAGs gc bc ilya is inadvertently making them look bad with how much he brags abt shane and what he does for him. (mind you shane is ALSO in the gc but that’s not the point rn)

ilya uses “shane’s credit card” when he goes out with the girls and he NEVER SHUTS UP ABT IT. “oh no ladies, i’ve got it. my HUSBAND gave me his card to pay for it. said to treat myself 😛”

mind you it’s from their joint bank account, the card js has shane’s name on it. but that doesn’t matter. ilya is living his spoiled rich hockey husband dreams, fuck you very much.

[fanficnaticcc]

i am back with some shane centric headcanons for the masses 😛

will some of these probs be ooc? yes. yes they will be. but this is my fanon vision of shane- and by extension ilya- bc i REFUSE to let a straight white woman guide narrative of another queer couple esp one that has a fellow POC in it.

(also disclaimer i don’t necessarily hate or dislike Rachel Reid. i js don’t like when straight white women SPECIFICALLY write queer storylines and don’t do them justice out of a need based within fetishization. which is part of the reason i prefer the show. but that is a rant for later)

WARNING SLIGHT MENTION OF ED RECOVERY:

okay so i do believe that with the help of his parents and ilya and js transitioning to an overall less emotionally hostile team, shane gets the help he needs with his macrobiotic diet.

like no one is fully managing what he eats or when or like taking over bc at the end of the day he is an adult and shane has to want to get better (he does, it’s js hard).

so other than him starting to see a therapist, everyone just alleviates some of that burden for him.

ilya takes over cooking dinner. while shane still does breakfast and they alternate lunch (if they aren’t eating at the rink)

they have a set menu every week for dinner bc ilya implements new things every week that stray from shane’s original diet. but discussing it every week beforehand helps shane 1. feel like he has more control and 2. prepare him if necessary (like if it’s a food he would have avoided like the plague even if it is healthy)

ilya also lets shane help with prepping but not with actually cooking and plating. as he’s learned that shane has a problem with controlling portions but if he doesn’t know he can’t measure it and will often disregard that factor for others if not presented with it

yuna and david have mandatory family dinner nights where they cook new culturally significant food from everyone’s backgrounds.

there are no scales in the house. and even when shane gets weighed for the team they don’t really tell him his exact weight unless he asked directly (he never does)

he does know the general number though. but that’s bc he literally uses every metric of his body to account for skating and how to improve

shane also helps orchestrate a seminar type thing for the team abt healthy eating (mentally and physically) and what signs to look out for if someone isn’t and how to help

shane doesn’t fight on the ice bc he’s legally not really allowed to. it’s a grey area. (this is from hudson being an mma fighter)

so i think yuna had shane take classes on boxing and such when he really started to get good at hockey and it was clear that it was gonna be his “thing”. bc she would be damned if someone threw hands with her baby and he couldn’t defend himself properly.

the problem was that shane doesn’t do anything halfway and got so good he almost got scouted. but it was never a problem bc shane didn’t like fighting and for the most part no one got physical with him.

this all came to a head when he was about 14. he had been having a shitty week. he’s overstimulated and he had all the repressed teenage rage brewing under the surface. and then some idiot on the other team (who’s mad that they’re losing and that shane is running circles around them on his worst day) decides to call shane a slew of slurs at face off.

and now shane usually doesn’t engage with this shit. even at 14 he understands that most of these kids are uneducated bigoted idiots. but he used a homophobic slur. and shane doesn’t know what he really feels around homosexuality but he knows this is his last straw and he knows that he can’t possibly let this shit slide

shane doesn’t actually remember anything but dropping his gloves and then being pulled off of the boy. the whole arena is dead silent. yuna is simultaneously horrified and proud. david is marginally impressed. no one fucks with shane after that. and he really doesn’t get in trouble for it either other than a two game suspension. and like 3 mandatory sessions for anger management.

regardless it’s an unsaid rule that shane’s not allowed to fight on the ice. advised by his legal team once he gets one after being in the NHL.

and he never does… until he’s married and on the centaurs. shane and ilya have a standing rule not to engage in battles for the other so they can still stand on their own on the ice. BUT some asshole hot shot from the metros thinks it’s a hot idea to say something abt irina while both shane and okay are on the ice. and it unfortunately happens to be the day she died. and okay refused to pull out of the game but he really isn’t having the best couple of weeks.

so when shane hears it and then hears the telltale sign his husband is swallowing his tears, all bets are off. it takes 4 centaurs, Pike, and 2 refs to pull him off the guy. shane’s suspended for the next 3 games and has to pay a $75k fine. he doesn’t care. it was worth every penny js so everyone knows to not fuck with his husband. he’s also sent a cease and desist by legal on the team.

no one chirps ilya or shane on the ice for the rest of the season.

shane has inside house clothes, and bed clothes. i don’t make the rules. (yes. yes i do.)

shane speaks japanese fluently and has since he was small. i believe david only spoke in french at home while yuna spoke in japanese. and then once shane got older if he spoke in one language they would respond in another.

he learned a lot of english from educational tv shows, school, and coaches.

ilya actually learns french from shane using this tactic. and it’s how shane learns russian more efficiently.

ilya does well with hearing french and understanding it better than if he’s looking at it. shane is better at reading it than he is at translating if he hears it. but regardless both are semi fluent it both.

shane holds it over ilya’s head that he’s one more language proficient than ilya is. ilya starts learning sign language to spite him.

with his OCD shane obsessively washes his hands. and depending on why he’s washing them depends on how many times he washes them

he also can’t touch dirt handles with his bare hands bc he considers it dirty.

shane is killer at those kid matching memory games. bc if he can remember which part of his sleeve touched something his brain considers dirty and avoid it touching something he considers clean all day then these games are a walk in the park.

ilya may be a menace online for funsies but shane will argue with ppl in the comments abt hockey facts and hot takes

shane never hand celebrity crushes as a kid or like crushes on fictional characters.

shane has the NASTIEST side eye known to man. and his facial expressions unknowingly reveal what he’s thinking. so he had to learn early on how to mask to avoid any conflicts.

but as he starts to let go and feel safer with ilya, he also starts to forget to put on his professional mask sometimes. ilya has told him to fix his face more than once bc of this during interviews

shane hates when ppl talk over him. like it’s genuinely his biggest pet peeve

shane had to do certain things in twos. but like others in threes. everything has a special number

ilya let’s shane run conditioning. everyone hates ilya bc of this. shane runs this shit like the military and NO ONE including his husband get special treatment

shane checks up on the “babies” of the team (though he won’t concede and call them babies) weekly. even on the off season

shane and ilya are both referred to as team parents. shane tries to go against this and remind the rookies that they aren’t their real parents (despite what ilya says) and they aren’t THAT much older than them.

the only reason he relents is bc they explain it’s more like when your older sibling gets married to a long time partner and bc your second set of parents. and one of them remarks how ilya and shane are the first set of parents they’ve had that actually stayed together/ loved each other. this does not make ilya or shane emotional at all ofc (ilya cries and shane changes the name of the gc w/ the rooks to “the hollanov household”)

the rookies alternate between calling shane and ilya “mom and dad”. who’s who depends completely on the situation. but they all know who’s sho on a given day/ situation unanimously

bood is young’s emergency contact. hayes is holmeberg’s, ilya is luca’s and shane is lapointe’s. there has been a situation where all four have been called in my the hospital separately on the same night.

they are all banned from late night “adventure” street food. (whatever tf that even MEANS shane still isn’t sure. but the heart attack he almost had is not worth repeating)

yuna and david are both shane and ilya’s emergency contact. esp bc usually they’re together so if one’s in an emergency situation usually the other is also in the situation or near and freaking out.

okay that’s all i have! see y’all next timeeeeeee

[fanficnaticcc]

WARNING: brief/ obtuse mentions of self-harm and ed (as well as slightly direct mention of child abuse)

hey so js a thought i had

do y’all ever think that after irina died whenever alexei/andrei or their father hit ilya, it was always liberally bc ilya always plays aggressively on the ice anyway. so no one really knows if that black eye is from the last time he dropped gloves on the ice or from the parking lot with his dad for that pass he missed.

or worse if ilya plays aggressive because he knows they’ll hit him anyways. so he plays aggressive bc at least here he can control why someone hits him and here it won’t hurt him later on if he hits back.

and with ilya’s “abrasive” personality it’s not like anyone will question it anyways? right? right. not like he’s thinks worth the effort anyhow.

(is this me pushing my agenda that my sweet soft baby ilya uses chirping and fighting on the ice as a form of self-harm?? yes, yes it is. js like shane uses food as a punishment/ reward system. something to be earned. but that’s for another time)

[fanficnaticcc]

oh hollanov how much you mean to me, so here’s another dose of headcanons bc they actually have been haunting me all week

both ilya and shane have oral fixations (yes in the freaky way but also in the non-freaky way)

but i think it stems from different places. like ilya would always get in trouble for playing with his mouth guard, chewing straws, etc.

but shane used to suck his thumb and only stopped around age 13. and THAT was bc he broke a finger in a game and had his thumb splinted to it. and his other thumb js didn’t hit the same. so he unintentionally trained himself out of it. now he js chews on hoodie strings and the such (yuna almost misses the thumb sucking)

ik this is a fairly common headcanon but i’m abt to take it to hell (and lowk make it sad but it’s okay) but i think irina didn’t cut ilya’s hair until his father made her. and that was around age 6. so for years he kept getting mistaken for a girl.

now after irina dies, ilya keeps it long for a while bc 1. his mom often let it grow out as much as it could before she knew it would be a “problem” and 2. it’s the last piece of her he really feels like he can have since their house has been purged of her.

ilya’s dad and alexi/andrei make him cut it bc he looks too much like her. it’s like she’s haunting the house everytime they see him.

in all truthfulness he keeps it short for a while (mainly bc he can’t look in the mirror w/o seeing her)

but then he hits a stage in his mid to late teens before he’s drafted where he doesn’t gaf anymore. the older he gets the more he looks like her and god he misses his mom. so if the only place he can see her alive and well is in the mirror then that’s where he’ll meet her.

he does cut it it before he’s drafted mainly bc no other guy generally keeps their hair that long that’s being drafted. and he needs to look “presentable” for the pictures. and by god he js wants to fit in. to be liked. plus the more he gains weight and bulks up the less he looks like his mom anyways

no one sees or knows of this version of ilya again until maybe two or so seasons after shane and his marriage

it happens partially bc he’s been in therapy for a while now and exploring more of his childhood and keeping it long heals something in him. and selfishly he wants to know what his mom would look like at this age.

shane always used to tell him how pretty he was before but now it literally takes his breath away how beautiful ilya is. esp with him being comfortable enough in his masculinity now to indulge in more “feminine” perceived things outside of his long hair (ilya furiously blushes whenever shane fawns over him like this)

also bc of this ilya becomes androgynous hell (as in he creates androgynous envy across all boards)

like he’s so damn pretty. and he’s perfectly balanced between being masculine and feminine that it’s really hard to tell his gender identity most times.

this stands even for ppl who know him. the centaurs go through a non- descriptive gender phase for ilya when he first comes back with long hair. ilya thinks it’s hilarious and only relents on letting it spiral when one of the rooks almost has an aneurism switching through every pronoun know to man when referencing him as he’s in the room. (he does giggle for 10 mins straight before putting the kid out of his missing though)

it gets to a point where yuna is making brand endorsements for ilya that weigh specifically on this factor. shane has gotten into a waping 4 fights and it’s only 4 weeks into the season. (everyone on the ice thinks they can liberally talk abt how pretty his husband is and many other depraved things they would do to him. esp bc he “looks more like a girl now”. shane is extremely possessive. and he will not stand for ppl even imagining they can have what is his)

ilya’s a freak so he’s always half hard abt it on the ice

sveta helps him re-curate his curl routine and cut his hair so it looks exactly how he desires (she also gets him a bonnet bc the silk pillows aren’t enough with longer hair)

the Pike girls love to give him two french braids and generally style his hair

the loose buns with face framing pieces almost send shane into an early grave. shane also loves to pull on is js as much as ilya loves for him to pull on it.

ilya loves to do calisthenics after he retires

shane actually becomes the head manager of the centaurs after he retires (following in his moms footsteps)

shane gets picked up more often than ilya but ilya is picked up fairly often. like shane tosses him around like he’s a damn feather and he finds it incredibly sexy as well as sweet.

shane will often toss ilya over his shoulder if they’re at a team bbq or the bar and they already said they were leaving but ilya starts up another 20 min convo or he’s getting a bit too wild to be in public

ilya always flips up, squeezes shane’s ass (gets a firm smack on his ass for the effort), smirks like the little shit he is and waves like a princess to her court

shane also loves to hoist ilya up with his thighs wrapped around his head and suck him off that way. while he’s standing up mind you. (it’s like in CW when natasha has her legs wrapped around bucky and she’s hitting him. *pls tell me yall get that reference*)

everytime this happens ilya lasts maybe 3 mins at most. but it’s okay bc shane thinks it’s hot and he didn’t want ilya up there long anyways for danger of hitting his head or worse.

shane has ilya clicker trained. no i will not be elaborating (i actually will if you want me to 😛)

before they are on the sense team, ilya and shane have weighted stuffed animals that they sleep with that they gifted to one another. they trade every time they see each other so they fall asleep with something that smells like the other. Marly ribs him lightly but also ensures no one on the team bothers him about it if they see it and always keeps it safe

they share clothes. ilya is only abt 3in taller than shane and shane is a bit broader but thats really the only drastic difference

this is always hilarious bc they have drastically different styles and the team can always tell if they js picked something and left for some reason (as well as if they they accidentally switched an item on their excursions on the way out the door)

shane prefers piercings bc they don’t permanently modify your body, you can take it out, and he enjoys the soreness after

he gets his nipples pieced and ilya swears he sees heaven

ilya prefers tattoos bc he js hates needles with a passion. like he’s lowk severely afraid of them. any tattoo he has he’s been either high or drunk. he’s made the decision to get them sober but he can’t be fully there and sober during them, bc he will have a panic attack

but regardless he can eventually sleep through them bc it js feels like someone is poking him really hard with a pen. someone piercing through his skin is js something he can’t wrap his head around

he gets a little tattoo of shane’s number on his upper pelvis near his v line

let’s js say ilya legit blacked out after him and shane were done, when shane found out (best decision of his life. he almost got a “property of shane hollander-rosanov” as a tramp stamp)

shane says hell no and that’s the only reason he doesn’t

shane lets his hair grow out and has this half mullet/ wolf cut situation going on

it changed brain chemistries (mainly ilya’s)

i hope yall enjoyed!! i haven’t read through to edit this for mistakes so ill do that later but pls do tell me what yall think and if yall would want more (or if im talking to the void)

edit: i went back through and tried to fix as many mistakes as i could catch and i added to some head canons to flesh them out more 🙂‍↕️

[fanficnaticcc]

i have something potentially controversial to say but i really don’t gaf and i need y’all to hear me out

(also plsssss tell me yall see where im coming from)

i want to start off by saying i have a visceral HATRED for how a lot of ilya’s story is handled within TLG and HR. bc the underdevelopment we get on his side with a lot of the dynamics of him with the boston bears as well as what him being there means to him is not only gut wrenching but js plain annoying. like we don’t really know if they would be shitty abt it, we don’t know his real relationship with them, esp with him basically growing up with them and experiencing extremely pivotal moments of his life with them. so to take that away and brand the centaurs as a “clearly better option” (through i do love my babies don’t get me wrong) is absurd

also i have a very deep hatred for the 10 year plan bullshit and js overall how both shane and ilya’s characters are handled. esp bc that plan is not what ACTUAL compromise looks like in a relationship. it’s choosing one extreme over the other.

like yes, i understand they both have their problems. and yes i understand their relationship is messy, that’s gonna be the nature of it considering it’s a fucking 12 year long situationship. and yes i understand these idiots are miscommunication final bosses. and yes, i understand that a lot of times both of them are at fault. that’s natural, that’s what messy adult relationships are about. they can be messy and healthy at the same time. as long as you build a foundation of trust, forgiveness, room for growth, AND COMPROMISE.

before i truly go off i want to say this is not me picking shane or ilya’s side more. they both are complicated and flawed characters. both do them make mistakes and they both have hurt each other. what i’m dissecting here is the structural foundation of the writing, plot, and character curation. that is what i’m pissed about. the characters are a consequence of it.

now here’s what i mean. true compromise of middle ground of sorts does not mean on side gives up everything or does something full out. it means finding a middle ground. somewhere where both sides can find something good and comfortable but also not necessarily what they had nor what they wanted fully. while i don’t think it was done at of malicious intent on shane’s part, the plan isnt a compromise- it’s shane getting what he wants. and ilya bending to that will for the sake of someone else.

yes, ilya might be closer and yes,he does now have now have shane’s family to fall back on. but he gives up every other sense of comfort and stability that he’s fought painstakingly for.

1. his friends. he has been with that team and in that city since his rookie season. they are his friends and the closest semblance to family he has. and i’m not saying they’re the greatest or most support. but we know for a fact that they most likely aren’t as bad a the metros bc we would have gotten something with that.

2. his home. that is his only home away from home (outside of the cottage which doesn’t come until later) for YEARS. that’s probably the only place he could be himself and find solace esp when he had to go back to russia for the summers. leaving that is leaving a piece of his childhood behind (no matter how much it was already stripped from him bc of his family back in russia)

3. HIS FUCKING CAREER. like god this is abt to actually piss me off. i don’t care how fucking great if a player he is, the man can only do sm. like that could have such a huge and terrible impact on his career. leaving a team that has great chances of winning another cup to go to a team that hasn’t even touch the playoffs in who knows how fucking long is insanity to me. also that’s so much added pressure on him to “fix” the team when he’s dealing with his secret relationship and adjusting to moving to a whole new country… AGAIN

4. this makes ilya completely dependent on shane’s support systems. which is not healthy. like yes, yuna and david love them both and see ilya as a son. but for a minute he is js shane’s bf. they aren’t his parents. he has no support system. no one to confide in abt anything. (i think this is a big part of the reason his depression gets so bad in TLG) like shane has hayden who finds out, rose who knows he’s gay, his parents who know everything, and at the very least some friends on the Voyaugers until he comes out and they’re dickheads. ilya has virtually no one of his own that’s not attached to shane. that he won’t feel like is on shane’s side instinctively. even if they aren’t and that’s not true, anyone would naturally assume bc they were “shane’s” first that they loyalty lies with shane. so that leaves him with what? nobody? yeah fuck off.

and i know troy is there but troy comes later. and how it’s handled makes it seem like he doesn’t speak to marleau or anyone from the bears at all. not from bad blood but js bc. and sveta is barely there too. like pls fuck off. bc i know relationships aren’t always fair bc nothing is ever truly fair, but they should have good compromise. this doesn’t.

shane virtually keeps everything he wants. he stays on the team that he’s “build a brotherhood” with, keeps his virtually high standing career from it, keeps his friends, his family, and now his boyfriends had uprooted his life and lived closer. this isn’t a “win win” it’s a shane wins.

and often times it’s branded as this thing bc shane needs something to control. he needs regimes and plans and to feel like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. and all of that is great and i believe it. but you can’t make me believe that someone who loves ilya to the degree that Mr. Real Estate does would every stick to and construct a plan like this that disregards ilya’s safety and stability? his #1 priorities?? yeah fuck all the way off. (not after hockey bc i hate any agenda that says shane would ever put hockey before that man)

bc while i do believe a plan was made bc of shane’s OCD ridden anxiety and bc he’s my smol autistic bean that loves excel, i don’t believe shane’s as emotionally unaware as he’s depicted. esp not with ilya. shane has spent his entire life masking and adjusting and finding control and safely and stability in anything he can. and he recognized ilya doing the same things js in different ways for different reasons. he would NEVER willingly take all of that away from him.

also shane is very capable and knows how to pivot and adjust accordingly. i also think that he’s aware enough to know and also has a good enough support system to lovely check him (shout out yuna and david) and tell him that that “plan” only considers one of them. also dare i say that mfer is grown. if it’s that bad he can go to therapy like the rest of us and figure it out. he doesn’t js “get his way”.

(sidenote i feel like if anything shane should have traded out highk. get away from a toxic work environment… maybe even go to new york??? i got this from a fanfic and now im taking it as my personal canon)

i also feel like this could have been a really beautiful moment for the both of them lowk. of shane pushing ilya to do things that make him feel safe and happy. choosing things or fighting for what he wants bc he deserves to prioritize himself. that’s also practicing good mutal bonding and mental health.

(i also think this pisses me off sm bc my queen and king yuna and david are the healthy relationship compromise final bosses. and i KNKW they did not raise shane like this and would not let this slide bc okay is their baby js as much as shane is)

sorry i lowk lost it yall, i js feel so deeply abt this. like you can’t build the basis of a character and relationships and then have them do shit that makes no sense in the context of said characters and relationships. but yeah if you wanna hear my other ills with the books pls let me know. i did not spend all those years in AP classes and current classes to get an eng major for nothing 😛

(also ill probs drop some more HR headcanons that have been plaguing my mind later)

[exyzedd]

will reblog this till the day I die. because yes. WHAT ABOUT HIS CAREER? HE IS A TOP PLAYER IN A SHITTY TEAM. HE CAN WIN CUPS. HE IS UP THERE. WHY.

[fanficnaticcc]

THANK YOU!! FUCKING THANK YOUUUUUUUUU

I feel like not enough ppl are mad about this. like there’s too many fics that take it in stride (tho i think that’s bc it’s less that they like it and more that they love the centaurs. which like me too babe but FUCK THIS FUCKS HIS SHIT UP)

[exyzedd]

YES YES YES SO SO OVERLOOKED. AND ALSO ALSO ALSO- i said something to the effect of that I wish in the show he never leaves Boston raiders because I have been asked to let go of so many things in my life that I was brilliant at and so to see Ilya do the same BREAKS MY HEART. not playing good enough with Centaurs is a big reason as to why he is depressed. Pissed off twitter in a day and I was like why you booing me I am right.

[fanficnaticcc]

omg YES!! your brain… is so lovely. like yes, you get it. you get ME!!

like he’s given up so much in the name of ppl he loves. and yes it’s different with Shane bc he’s one of the few people who have loved him BACK so fiercely. but Ilya has done nothing but give for the sake of giving and bc he loves. sacrificing to make others happy and in hopes that THEY WILL KEEP HIM. IT WOULD MEAN MORE TO HIS CHARACTER TO HAVE SOMEONE WHO LOVES HIM ENOUGH TO ALLOW HIM TO STAY. someone (shane) who sees all he has sacrificed and despite ilya giving the suggestion to move shane doesn’t let him bc he sees how that will affect him.

like it’s the whole “i love you enough to let you stay” premise. like shane wants his baby to be happy and comfortable and STABLE.

and you know they js love to argue on twitter. it’s hivemind hell over there 🫩

[fanficnaticcc]

i have something potentially controversial to say but i really don’t gaf and i need y’all to hear me out

(also plsssss tell me yall see where im coming from)

i want to start off by saying i have a visceral HATRED for how a lot of ilya’s story is handled within TLG and HR. bc the underdevelopment we get on his side with a lot of the dynamics of him with the boston bears as well as what him being there means to him is not only gut wrenching but js plain annoying. like we don’t really know if they would be shitty abt it, we don’t know his real relationship with them, esp with him basically growing up with them and experiencing extremely pivotal moments of his life with them. so to take that away and brand the centaurs as a “clearly better option” (through i do love my babies don’t get me wrong) is absurd

also i have a very deep hatred for the 10 year plan bullshit and js overall how both shane and ilya’s characters are handled. esp bc that plan is not what ACTUAL compromise looks like in a relationship. it’s choosing one extreme over the other.

like yes, i understand they both have their problems. and yes i understand their relationship is messy, that’s gonna be the nature of it considering it’s a fucking 12 year long situationship. and yes i understand these idiots are miscommunication final bosses. and yes, i understand that a lot of times both of them are at fault. that’s natural, that’s what messy adult relationships are about. they can be messy and healthy at the same time. as long as you build a foundation of trust, forgiveness, room for growth, AND COMPROMISE.

before i truly go off i want to say this is not me picking shane or ilya’s side more. they both are complicated and flawed characters. both do them make mistakes and they both have hurt each other. what i’m dissecting here is the structural foundation of the writing, plot, and character curation. that is what i’m pissed about. the characters are a consequence of it.

now here’s what i mean. true compromise of middle ground of sorts does not mean on side gives up everything or does something full out. it means finding a middle ground. somewhere where both sides can find something good and comfortable but also not necessarily what they had nor what they wanted fully. while i don’t think it was done at of malicious intent on shane’s part, the plan isnt a compromise- it’s shane getting what he wants. and ilya bending to that will for the sake of someone else.

yes, ilya might be closer and yes,he does now have now have shane’s family to fall back on. but he gives up every other sense of comfort and stability that he’s fought painstakingly for.

1. his friends. he has been with that team and in that city since his rookie season. they are his friends and the closest semblance to family he has. and i’m not saying they’re the greatest or most support. but we know for a fact that they most likely aren’t as bad a the metros bc we would have gotten something with that.

2. his home. that is his only home away from home (outside of the cottage which doesn’t come until later) for YEARS. that’s probably the only place he could be himself and find solace esp when he had to go back to russia for the summers. leaving that is leaving a piece of his childhood behind (no matter how much it was already stripped from him bc of his family back in russia)

3. HIS FUCKING CAREER. like god this is abt to actually piss me off. i don’t care how fucking great if a player he is, the man can only do sm. like that could have such a huge and terrible impact on his career. leaving a team that has great chances of winning another cup to go to a team that hasn’t even touch the playoffs in who knows how fucking long is insanity to me. also that’s so much added pressure on him to “fix” the team when he’s dealing with his secret relationship and adjusting to moving to a whole new country… AGAIN

4. this makes ilya completely dependent on shane’s support systems. which is not healthy. like yes, yuna and david love them both and see ilya as a son. but for a minute he is js shane’s bf. they aren’t his parents. he has no support system. no one to confide in abt anything. (i think this is a big part of the reason his depression gets so bad in TLG) like shane has hayden who finds out, rose who knows he’s gay, his parents who know everything, and at the very least some friends on the Voyaugers until he comes out and they’re dickheads. ilya has virtually no one of his own that’s not attached to shane. that he won’t feel like is on shane’s side instinctively. even if they aren’t and that’s not true, anyone would naturally assume bc they were “shane’s” first that they loyalty lies with shane. so that leaves him with what? nobody? yeah fuck off.

and i know troy is there but troy comes later. and how it’s handled makes it seem like he doesn’t speak to marleau or anyone from the bears at all. not from bad blood but js bc. and sveta is barely there too. like pls fuck off. bc i know relationships aren’t always fair bc nothing is ever truly fair, but they should have good compromise. this doesn’t.

shane virtually keeps everything he wants. he stays on the team that he’s “build a brotherhood” with, keeps his virtually high standing career from it, keeps his friends, his family, and now his boyfriends had uprooted his life and lived closer. this isn’t a “win win” it’s a shane wins.

and often times it’s branded as this thing bc shane needs something to control. he needs regimes and plans and to feel like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. and all of that is great and i believe it. but you can’t make me believe that someone who loves ilya to the degree that Mr. Real Estate does would every stick to and construct a plan like this that disregards ilya’s safety and stability? his #1 priorities?? yeah fuck all the way off. (not after hockey bc i hate any agenda that says shane would ever put hockey before that man)

bc while i do believe a plan was made bc of shane’s OCD ridden anxiety and bc he’s my smol autistic bean that loves excel, i don’t believe shane’s as emotionally unaware as he’s depicted. esp not with ilya. shane has spent his entire life masking and adjusting and finding control and safely and stability in anything he can. and he recognized ilya doing the same things js in different ways for different reasons. he would NEVER willingly take all of that away from him.

also shane is very capable and knows how to pivot and adjust accordingly. i also think that he’s aware enough to know and also has a good enough support system to lovely check him (shout out yuna and david) and tell him that that “plan” only considers one of them. also dare i say that mfer is grown. if it’s that bad he can go to therapy like the rest of us and figure it out. he doesn’t js “get his way”.

(sidenote i feel like if anything shane should have traded out highk. get away from a toxic work environment… maybe even go to new york??? i got this from a fanfic and now im taking it as my personal canon)

i also feel like this could have been a really beautiful moment for the both of them lowk. of shane pushing ilya to do things that make him feel safe and happy. choosing things or fighting for what he wants bc he deserves to prioritize himself. that’s also practicing good mutal bonding and mental health.

(i also think this pisses me off sm bc my queen and king yuna and david are the healthy relationship compromise final bosses. and i KNKW they did not raise shane like this and would not let this slide bc okay is their baby js as much as shane is)

sorry i lowk lost it yall, i js feel so deeply abt this. like you can’t build the basis of a character and relationships and then have them do shit that makes no sense in the context of said characters and relationships. but yeah if you wanna hear my other ills with the books pls let me know. i did not spend all those years in AP classes and current classes to get an eng major for nothing 😛

(also ill probs drop some more HR headcanons that have been plaguing my mind later)

[exyzedd]

will reblog this till the day I die. because yes. WHAT ABOUT HIS CAREER? HE IS A TOP PLAYER IN A SHITTY TEAM. HE CAN WIN CUPS. HE IS UP THERE. WHY.

[fanficnaticcc]

THANK YOU!! FUCKING THANK YOUUUUUUUUU

I feel like not enough ppl are mad about this. like there’s too many fics that take it in stride (tho i think that’s bc it’s less that they like it and more that they love the centaurs. which like me too babe but FUCK THIS FUCKS HIS SHIT UP)

[fanficnaticcc]

I agree the whole storyline is handled badly but you are kind of missing the point that Ilya wanted to move to Canada not just for Shane. 2017 was a bad time for human rights in the US as well as US-Russian relations, so part of Ilya moving to Canada was him picking stability. He couldn't be sure of his safety even if he did manage to get a US citizenship, not to mention that him or Shane crossing the border often would draw attention, even with the charity they were planning on setting up. I don't think the plan is a bad one, I think it makes total sense in what their priorities are (safety, security, harm reduction and minimising difficulties in their relationship). It would however make more sense if Rachel had positioned Ottawa as a team that was rebuilding rather than just a shit one. What I do have a problem with in the storyline is the sudden disappearance of Ilya's supposed citizenship issues (if he still has a Russian passport, why is he so desperate to come out) and Shane's coming out being totally skipped over. We don't even know why Shane came out, what triggered it, how people initially reacted, etc. That part makes no sense to me.

okay so yes, i totally agree and understand what you mean on the implications of his citizenship and what it would mean to stay in the US versus going to Canada. i think Canada is a smarter choice for citizenship but i don’t think at that time it is necessarily more “stable”. since stability as a concept and as a feeling a two very different things, i don’t believe he would feel as stable being in Canada at least at that time in his life. and yes i do know that he that he did want to move and it wasn’t just for shane.

HOWEVER that does not change that ottawa is a convience for no one but Shane. there are plenty of other teams that could have been “the team” for ilya to move to or like you said Ottawa should have been branded as an up and coming rebuilding team than a shit one. (though i do believe that that was a consequence of Rachel going for the “underdogs” trope. no matter how unrealistic it truly would have been for ilya to pull them up from the ground basically by himself.)

and while i do know of all the complications surrounding citizenship (esp how hard it is to obtain american citizenship) Rachel honestly dropped the ball with it by not making it a prevalent enough problem like she did with Russia and its ideals surrounding the LGBTQ+ community. plus while i do believe ilya would have some troubles obtaining american citizenship, he probably would have an easier time than most because of his high status and money. at the end of the day America is a capitalist society that runs on money and he makes that american team a lot of money. they wouldn’t js want to discard him. and his dad had high connections in Russia, so he’s also theoretically making Russia look good too. Plus ilya never got outed as bi from my understanding. So he shouldn’t (again theoretically) have any issues going back and forth or js staying. also because ilya is such a high profile athlete and because he’s a white russian, it is unlikely he would have as much perceived trouble crossing the boarder due to systematic widespread racism. also they wouldn’t be crossing the boarder any more than usual. like for instance if ilya stayed with boston and shane went to new york. there’s no border crossing unless it’s for games or to go home to visit shane’s family.

also i think there’s a difference between them crossing the border for work and for fun. like legally it’s more of a hassle for shane than it is ilya. if its js to see ea other then yes it does draw attention but like so what? while it is anxiety inducing for them rumors are js that rumors and shane is friends with rose so it would make more sense for him to fly over than for ilya too. (also i fear i can’t fall into the propaganda that it’s hard for celebrities to hide themselves. bc at that time in their career shane and ilya would be the equivalent to any other rising 2000s pop star. and though paparazzi is terrible but the 2010s we are shown celebrities are more than capable of evading them. i. e. we only see Adele, Frank Ocean, Beyoncé, etc when they WANT us to see them. they can figure it out if it’s truly that anxiety inducing esp with Rose on their side)

which also this brings up a good point, but ilya would probs have more problems seeing shane over the summer than staying in boston over the summers. bc his work visa is for the u.s. so it’s more suspicious to the govt that he keeps going back to Canada in the off season when he should technically be home or in Boston. (this paragraph has nothing to do with what you said it’s js another oversight i’m thinking about)

anyways while i see where you’re coming from, i still do stand on the fact that it goes against the priorities set up by both of them. the “plan” causes more long term emotional and mental damage than they are realistically at. esp ilya bc we only hear of the potential to threat and don’t actually see any affects of those threats impact them. esp bc ilya’s brother could have BEEN fucked his entire world and actually put him in real danger. but he didn’t bc he needed to extort money out of him and they don’t talk anymore so… non-threat

(also imo there plan should have included a secret marriage or something. like if they really thought ilya was in danger, they could have js gotten married at the courthouse with a shit load of NDA’s bc we know yuna has the good lawyers. now they only thing at stake his what it will mean for their careers and not ilya’s life.)

i also do agree that shane coming it for virtually no reason made no fucking sense. like what pushed him to do that??? and it’s like out of character considering how cautious he is and the team did virtually nothing to prove themselves worthy of being let in on this information. idk there’s a lot of shit i don’t fuck with

(also i really hope none of this came off as rude. i love having in-depth convos abt shit like this esp with ppl with different opinion.)