Care & Feeding of your Bagthulhu
So you’ve adopted a little abomination of your very own.
Congratulations! You’re about to embark on a journey of madness and chaos, culminating in the rise of R’lyeh. But first there’s a few things you should know…
Image text below for screenreaders :)
Pledge now for a cuddly abomination of your very own
Bagthulhus need a diet composed primarily of dice. Variety is important, so let your Bagthulhu devour a rainbow of colours, shapes, and sizes.
Supplement a human soul now and then for proper tentacle development.
Necronomicons and other artefacts of ancient evil are high in calories and should be a sometimes treat. For more regular treats, try feeding your Bagthulhu the crushed hopes of a passerby.
Bagthulhus are typically solitary, but can form alliances with animals, DMs and GMs, children, and even other dicebags. Beware their plotting in the night.
Introduce Bagthulhu to family and party members carefully. The most effective method is an ambush. Suddenly reveal Bagthulhu and bask in the horror and envy of your family and friends.
The Denizens of Cthulhu Wars make excellent companions for Bagthulhu.
Bagthulhus like warm, dry places to wait dreaming. They will happily curl up on your desk, in your bag, or above your bed, watching you sleep.
A bedtime story is always a good idea for a Bagthulhu. We recommend ‘Sweet Dreams Cthulhu’ (recently funded on Kickstarter).
Bagthulhus are generally clean, and are known for bathing in the horror and worship of puny mortals. If they do get messy while spreading mayhem and chaos, you can give them a light sponge bath with mild soap and warm water. Add a capful of human tears to really bring out the shine in their coat.
Do not machine wash. Do not tumblr dry. Bagthulhu will not be forgiving.
Bagthulhus poop directly into a rift in space and time. No one knows where it goes. Any information about mysteriously growing piles of eldritch poop would be apreciated.
Let’s hope it lands on some one we don’t like.
Bagthulhus may decide to supplement their diet by hunting humans. They are patient and opportunistic hunters. While a shaky truce with Ultharians exists, your guests and party members have no such protection.
If your Bagthulhu attacks a human you don’t want to be devoured at that time, tell them to remain calm, and play dead and soulless (like a politician or a mime). Your Bagthulhu will likely lose interest if it appears there is little or no soul to devour.
If your Bagthulhu brings home a fresh kill, give them lots of attention and dispose of the deflated shell of the victim before it stains the carpet.
Attempting to train a Bagthulhu is a fruitless endeavour. The best we can hope for is to be of use as loyal cultists who will eventually be devoured in the most painless way possible.
Welcome to the Cult, and good luck.
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