[fcknorth]

asherjfr:

carefully taking a seat on her bed, theo clasped his hands together and exhaled heavily. “i’m sorry about that. i really am. but no matter what people thought our relationship was, they’d think badly of you.” he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “what would you have had me do? i tried to persuade them to pick someone else, but once a girl is chosen, it’s done. if i had tried to stop them or not take the money, they would’ve gotten so suspicious. if they knew how long we’ve been carrying on, it’d be much, much worse for you.” at the mention of devon, theo sighed again, knowing that she was right. “i’ve handled worse with older brothers before; i’m just gonna have to lay low as much as possible.” 

listening to his apology hit the air, the end of his statement hit savannah like a brick. whether she liked it or not, it was the truth—her friends, his friends, everyone in between... they’d think bad of her no matter what. things wouldn’t just be ‘savannah was the quarter virgin & theo won’, it would suddenly turn into every person either of them had relations with during their lessons turning on her. it was easier for theo because they expected him to be messing with multiple girls but savie? it would be the hottest story in walnut. “i would’ve had you warn me, the. i would’ve had you sit down and tell me before somebody else did.” she sighed, frustrated with theo and the situation in front of her. there was no right way to do this—no right way to express any of the emotions that were building up inside of her. “where does this even leave us? i mean, what the hell are we even supposed to do now?”

[fcknorth]

asherjfr:

theo couldn’t help but snicker at her rhetorical question, knowing that she had made her point. “touché,” he acknowledged, shifting to sprawl back across the couch while keeping his phone tucked against his ear. “you always were a good girl—stereotypical, some might even say.” there was no bite to his tone; it was simply a light, good-natured ribbing. if she needed an old friend, adversary, lover, whatever he was… he could talk to her without marring the conversation with probing questions. and he knew there were dirtier, slyer comments that he could make, but he had neither the desire nor the energy to do so. over the years, he’d become better at being friends with girls, at appreciating their company in contexts other than sex. sex complicated things. romance complicated things. at this point in the game, anything in that realm had to be worth the risk of entanglement. “mmhmm, i’m bound to delta tau for life now. said my i, theo, take thee, delta tau—the whole spiel.” theo paused, listening to the sound of the house creakily settling for a heartbeat before continuing, “damn, really? i don’t think anyone ever saw me joining a frat. i mean, i’m totally not into beer pong and brotherhood or anything.” somewhat self-deprecating sarcasm coated his words. “what about you? you in some secret honors society over there? skull and bones sounds pretty cool to me.” 

“some, all... super glad i finally broke out of that, right?” she replied sarcastically in response to his undeniable statement. she was always the good girl of walnut: straight A’s, virgin mary, only-a-party-girl-when-theo’s-around, the whole nine yards; now here she was, a resting 4.0 at yale & on track to graduate with and, eventually, marry the physics major that continued to rest his eyes through and through savannah’s jokes. as much as she despised it, she knew she was still living the same life that she was living at eighteen, still craving something so much more than the cookie-cutter image she had found herself in her entire existence. “bound for life? does that mean if you try to leave they get to kill you? because that seems pretty intense.. then again, with all that beer pong and brotherhood why would you ever want to leave?” savie’s voice almost returning to a normal volume, she leaned into the pillow that rested against the glass window behind her, finally beginning to feel normal & calm for the first time tonight. talking to theo came just as easily as it use to, as if nothing had changed and no time had past between them. “i always thought i came across as a book and snake kinda girl, honestly. but no, unfortunately, no taps as of now. just your average english literature major.” pausing slightly, savannah shifted her body to look out of the other section of glass that filled the bay window. “sorry to call so late the... i mean, i know it’s later here, but clearly you had some fraternity shenanigans you were still recovering from when i woke you up.”

[fcknorth]

asherjfr:

the sound of a shrill ringing cut into theo’s deep slumber like a knife. groaning softly, he shifted on the plush couch, angling his body away from the source of the seemingly piercing sound. still, he couldn’t fully relax—it would not stop. his head was pounding furiously and his body was clearly suffering from all that tequila he’d chugged the night before. and sleeping on the couch–courtesy of his favorite sorority–was not helping matters. muttering a curse under his breath, he reached out a hand and rooted around the coffee table for his phone, his eyes still closed. he collapsed back onto the couch and pressed accept. “hello?” he mumbled, his voice gravelly with the weight of sleep. barely giving the person on the other end a second to respond, he added, “if this is sienna or aisha or ellie, you guys should stop hitting the tequila and sleep. i’m on your couch right now, and i promise that we will get brunch in the morning. i love you guys and yes, french toast is happening, so let your favorite delta tau sleep, alright?” pulling his phone away from his ear, he checked to see who it was. he was pretty sure it was one of the girls upstairs, because he’d been hanging out with them for a while before he passed out, and they were still drinking when he got himself a blanket–savie? a little shocked, he pulled himself into a sitting position. his voice no longer held the haziness of sleep as he asked, “sav? you must be having a lot of bad luck or a lot of fun to be up at 4am your time…”

hearing a barely-familiar voice on the other side of the line, savannah’s spine straightened. it wouldn’t be the first time she left a missed call for him to discover in the morning, or the last, causing her past-lover’s voice echoing over the line to leave her temporarily speechless. still, just as she remembered, theo’s words sprung into action despite the draining tiredness that managed to shine through. name after name (women with a touch of aisha of course, what did she expect, right?) ran out of his mouth as he explained a brunch plan and a quick i love you before he, presumably, checked the caller ID. as if her name awoke his brain the same way vi’s dream awoke her, theo’s voice cleared & strengthened, returning to the sound she had engraved in her mind. still, sav remained silent as she watched her fiance sleep from across the room, theo’s words hitting her eardrum like a gunshot as he said her name. “call it bad luck if you want. after all, when have you ever known me to be up having fun at 4am?” her voice remained quiet, still unsure of her reasoning for calling, still unsure of what to say to him, still unsure if isaac would sleep through this—if she was cheating on him every time she pressed theo’s contact. “so.. favorite delta tau, huh? are you telling me you’re one of those typical frat boys now, the? i really wish i could say i didn’t see that one coming...”  she teased, desperate to hear whatever she could get out of him for the little time they’d remain on the phone. 

[fcknorth]

asherjfr:

absorbing the fierceness in her voice, theo recoiled a little. she was getting so worked up that he barely had time to process one exclamation before another followed. “whoa, okay, slow down a little, sav. who the hell cares what they know? soon enough, this’ll be old news to them–the less they think and know about this, the better. ‘cause if this becomes big news, it’ll just get worse.” he rubbed his forehead for a moment, attempting to gather his composure. “it’s better that they think you’re one of my flings rather than find out that we’ve been carrying on for a while. that’s just mean more questions, more fucking nosiness.”

“you don’t get it, theo! before, i had a choice in how people saw me, what they thought, now this is all they see from me! i’m just another quarter virgin you managed to conquer!” she explained, her volume mildly lowering as she fell backwards onto the end of her bed. “two fucking grand, the... i just, i can’t believe they put a price on me; i can’t believe you let them put a price on me, that you took the money in the first place. sure, you took me away like i was something special but what does that matter if you violated the trust i put in you that weekend? what does that matter when devon finds out i was worth two grand to you and we can’t even speak without him trying to fight you? what does any of it matter when all i can hear is the fucking nosiness now?”

[fcknorth]

"oh, no, love, we're going to be late for the reservations if you keep doing that." her voice remained frail, standing no chance against the feeling of his lips on her neck. ‘baby, we’re already late’ he reminded savie promptly, sweeping her pencil-straight hair over her shoulder as he hovered behind her. the candle-lit condominium was scattered with rose petals, moonlight sonata playing quietly in the background. the man that stood before her was dressed to kill, hair combed back and wine-colored pocket square in place, while savannah’s hair & makeup had put her past her original schedule, leaving her in front of the vanity in only her white corset & garter belt. ‘i just need to get my dress on and i’ll be ready...” savie explained, attempting to turn around as his hands began to caress her hip bones. ‘dress? no...leave it off.’ he commanded, his voice getting deeper as he inched closer to her. ‘your parents are going to be pissed if we don’t sho—” within seconds, savannah’s back was pressed up against the window, the la skyline glistening in the background. while his arms swiftly lifted her small frame onto his own, her legs wrapped around his waist as articles of clothing flew off left & right. feeling the warmth of his bare skin on hers, their bodies became intertwined, exchanging souls until they were drowning in the taste of each other & she was left clinging to him, desperate to feel him closer, harder, deeper; desperate to never lose this moment. each touch lingered on her skin until he was everywhere, his flavor floating in her mouth like thick honey until sav’s body finally gave into him, opening like a flower in bloom for her God. “theo...”

heart pounding, savannah’s eyes flung open. attempting to catch her breath & gather her thoughts, she took in the barely-lit room around her, trying to get the dream out of her mind. on one side, the clock read 3:42AM; on the other, a sleeping isaac remained unphased by whatever sleep-talking his girlfriend may have done tonight. he had heard her whispers for theo before, listened to her beg him not to go anywhere in her sleep. he never told her and she never asked, but it was always clear the morning after when his dark eyes avoided hers and every statement between them was suddenly hushed. pulling herself out of the bed, savie felt the sweat that still dribbled down her back. isaac was ideal; he had never slept with another woman during their relations, he was a fellow yale student with his head on clearly, and he wanted nothing more than to love & care for savannah throughout their life; still—her soul craved theo. grabbing her phone, savannah climbed into the tiny bay window of her run-down apartment. pressing her freshly manicured nails (she and isaac had reservations this weekend—go figure) against her touch screen, she found her way to the name she had avoided looking at time and time again only to click it without a thought. her mind was in auto-pilot now and all she wanted was theo, no matter what form of contact or which one of them may have someone else asleep in their bed. one ring. he’s not going to answer. two rings. did isaac just wake up? no, no.. he’s just flipping over.. three rings. what am i even going to say. four rings. holy shit, sav, what are you doing?

[fcknorth]

asherjfr:

theo began to raise his hands in a gesture of surrender, but as soon as she barraged him with a series of angry comments, he reverted back into a defensive stance. “you know goddamn well that you’re worth more than that, and if you asked i’d give you the money in a heartbeat to go to any fancyass writing program or whatever you wanted !! what do you want me to say, vi ?? yeah, you’re not the first virgin i’ve had, but you’re the best !! i don’t just take any girl away for a weekend with me. you can’t say that you’re some easy lay or some quick fuck to me.”

the more defensive theo got, the hotter savannah’s head felt. it was impossible to think straight; her mind was racing, everything felt numb, & theo’s words began to blur together. “—i don’t want your fucking money, t!” she spat, her voice raising with each second. “but they don’t know that, do they?! they don’t know what we’ve been doing, they don’t care if you took me away for the weekend, they don’t care if i’m not just some quick fuck to you... that’s all they’re ever going to see me as! all i’m ever going to be is one of your flings, one of your bootycalls that just happens to live right-fucking-next door.”

[fcknorth]

asherjfr:

theo shook his head and scuffed the ground with his shoe, frustrated because she didn’t seem to understand the weight of his words. “fine, then. if you want to be used, dumped like yesterday’s trash, and then spit on in all the gossip, that’s your choice.” glancing back up at her, he kept his features tight, all emotion sapped out of his body. “my flings are never around for long, and they’re sure as hell not friends with both of us. it’s not me you need to be worrying about here. if he comes to your balcony and sees me fingering you, that’s on you.” he scoffed, taking a couple of steps toward her. “yeah, ‘cause i’m sure that the point of all those hours we’ve spent is so you can go get it on with a guy who i know for a fact won’t go down on you and can’t find a clit to save his life.”

"is that what you do, then? use them and dump them? because i’m sure i’ve heard you participating in all of that gossip before.” savannah questioned, knowing the boys she use to associate with had become a group of womanizing dogs within the recent years. truthfully, she had no intention of actually having sex with noel or investing any sort of emotion into the relationship—he was a distraction; someone to keep her mind off of whatever extra-curricular activities theo had found himself outside of their lessons. “the point of all those hours we’ve spent is so that i can do & know how to do whatever the hell i want. half the girls you sleep with won’t give you head but do you see me telling you you’re wasting your time? no, i just go down on you more. don’t concern yourself with it unless you’re the one between my legs.” 

[fcknorth]

asherjfr:

after watching her smile, he knew he was doing something right. theo hummed in acquiescence to her reply, his fingers pausing at her ribcage. “well, you definitely have my undivided attention right now, princess. tell me–” his hand slid up a little further to firmly cup her breast through her bra; in the same moment, his hips shifted so she could feel his erection against her thigh. “does this help? you wanna give me a hand and take off your bra?” he chuckled at her insistent responses, knowing full well that investing a little attention into her ass would make her feel more than a hint. leaning closer, he gently caught her earlobe between his teeth before his voice emerged, husky and lust-filled: “you sure about that? you deserve a little punishment.” without warning, he smacked her ass twice, hard enough to leave a mark. 

the feeling of theo’s fingers against her chest was enough to halt savannah’s breathing for a moment. letting her hand lose to wander theo’s body, she found her way under his shirt as he pressed against her. “maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t...” she trailed off, letting out a small chuckle as she unclasped her bra. as his voice became powerful & more assertive, savie quickly became more compliant–her quick ‘punishment’ only enabling her passive behavior. still, she couldn’t help but see how far she could push him, after all.. “i’m not the one that had distractions going off left and right, why am i the one getting punished?” she complained, scrunching her eyes together as she looked up at him.

[fcknorth]

asherjfr:

after glancing out the window to ensure that no one was watching, theo leaned against the wall and faced savannah. “the big deal is that noel–” his voice began as just a little too loud, too insistent, so he leaned in closer and finished at a softer volume, “noel likes you. noel would use you without a second thought, and i don’t mean use you in the way i know you like.” he allowed himself to smirk for just a moment, then his expression hardened again. “and if he wants you, he’ll spend time and energy chasing you and–what if he finds out about us? neither one of us want that. and noel’s a mouthy dick, so he’ll go around telling everyone if he finds out.”

letting out a small sigh in regards to theo’s timely smirk, savannah let her books rest on the desk beside her. “so what if i want to be used? you don’t know what intentions i’m going into this with or what kind of relationship i have with noel.” she spat back, her tone becoming frustrated in response to his last statement. “he is spending that time and energy chasing me theo, and i’ve kept everything about us hidden perfectly fine–if we’ve kept it quiet this long, kept any of your little flings from finding out, why don’t you think i can keep mine from knowing anything? as long as you keep your mouth shut, i think we’ll be perfectly fine. what’s the point of having these lessons if i can’t put them to use?” 

[fcknorth]

asherjfr:

“and thank god for that, because girlfriends are boring and these hook-ups are not,” he quipped, grinning lasciviously. theo took it as a good sign that she didn’t pull herself out of his lap; if she wanted to keep a little space between them, he could work to close it. “i thought i’d give it a try, but i’m not surprised that you need some extra persuasion.” while one of his hands moved to palm her ass, the other slid under the hem of her shirt and slowly migrated upward. “you have such a nice mouth, baby girl. tell me, what would it take for you to spill into my arms?” he raised his eyebrows at her, his tone teasing and lustful all at once. with a laugh, theo added, “it’s not a bad thing to be pissed. kinda hot, actually. so, are you telling me that if i slap that firm ass of yours, you won’t feel anything for me?”

shaking her head at his girlfriend comment, savannah let out a silent hum as his hands wandered her body. chills radiating up her spine as his words flooded her mind, she let a soft smile escape. theo wasn’t good at a lot of stuff in their friendship, but god did he know how to touch her. “undivided attention, you to have an A in english... the list could go on and on if you’re truly asking.” savannah knew in all reality all it would take is a few more inches of skin on skin contact and a few more pet names and she’d be caving in, but there was no way she was giving up so easily until that moment came. “you can do whatever the hell you want to this ass of mine, and i still won’t feel even a hint of something for you.” she lied, her voice raising slightly as her statement of defiance hit the air.  

[fcknorth]

feeling her fingers trace along the hem of her short plaid shirt, savannah slid out of her desk chair and pulled the remainder of books into her arms. the room of students emptied out quickly, including the teacher, all desperate for the short break they got from the four walls. as soon as the last of their classmates were out, savannah could feel the tension that was eminently building between her and the boy that followed behind. “i don’t understand what the big deal is, theo..” her voice remained low as she turned to face him, the automatic door closing in the background as neither of them caught it. “so what if noel likes me? why does it bother you so much in the first place, it’s not like I’m stopping our lessons or anything.” 

[fcknorth]

asherjfr:

theo observed the girl across from him, unable to help feeling a little annoyed and skeptical. “um, your face and your tone of voice do?” a smirk played upon his lips as he offered his new theory: “are you jealous, princess?” in truth, he knew this probably wasn’t true; savie was likely not vying for his attention in that way, but he liked pushing her buttons. he reached over to grab his phone from the nightstand before turning on the do not disturb mode, pinning her with a very intentional gaze the whole time. “there. i don’t get easily distracted when i have three fingers inside you and i’m telling you that you can’t come until i say so. but if you do, then it’s solved now.” without warning, he tugged her into his lap, making sure that she could feel his bulge. “now, do you want to be a good girl and tell me why you’re pissed or not?”

"jealous? do you know who you’re talking to?” theo’s princess comment was just one of many ways he had found to push her buttons, along with whatever he may already be saying, and it was rewarded successfully with another brown-eyed roll. “i’m not one of your little girlfriends, remember?” she joked, watching as his gaze kept with hers through the phone changes. feeling her head get fuzzy and her arguments fall as he pulled her body into his, savannah placed her hand against his chest, attempting to create some kind of distance to stand her ground. “you think you can just tell me a good girl and i’m just going to spill into your arms?” she questioned, pushing her lips out into a pout. “and again—i’m not pissed. that would require me actually feeling some sort of emotion towards you.”

[fcknorth]

asherjfr:

groaning a little at the interruption, theo slowly straightened into a sitting position and pulled out his hand from under savie’s shirt. “it’s no big deal,” he responded, shrugging one shoulder as he glanced at her. it was definitely the overly-active group text with weston, aisha, and noel; ride or die, it was aptly titled, with a few random emojis tacked on the end. “they’re just going to the beach, but i told them i wasn’t free today. we talk all the time, so they won’t be pissed.” his tone was cool, his expression significantly harder than before. theo leaned closer, his lips beside her ear as he asked lowly, roughly, “why are you pissed?” 

savannah listened to the boy’s explanations as the attitude on her face began to heighten. ‘we talk all the time..’ of course they do, she thought to herself. the only one of the group she remained in contact through the years with was weston, and even he barely spoke to her in front of theo. something about the group made her feel outcasted, like one of the forgotten. clenching her jaw at his question, savie shook her head lightly. “who said i was pissed? all i’m trying to say is that when i tutor you, i give you my full attention and i expect the same during our lessons.” she excused, hoping the redirection was enough to distract the argument. “—and honestly, how can you even focus with that thing constantly going off? just because you put it on vibrate doesn’t mean it’s not still a distraction.” she huffed, her lips tightening as she looked at him.

[fcknorth]

feeling her eyes dart towards the gentle vibration against her hip, savie quickly pulled her lips away from the boy that had long since climbed on top of her. "—dude, okay, that's like seven messages.." she exclaimed, grabbing theo's phone out from under herself. naturally, her wandering eyes caught track of the names that seemed to repeat themselves one after another—weston, aisha, weston, noel, aisha, noel... savannah rolled her eyes as she tossed the phone onto the wooden table that rested beside them. in an attempt to pull herself away a bit father, she quickly pulled herself off her back so she could be level with him. "if you have plans with someone else you can leave at any point." she complained, her tone becoming colder by the second. 

[fcknorth]

“ —-what the hell, theo?” savannah interrupted, the pink lemonade & vodka mixture in her hand splashing around with every movement. she was already beyond intoxicated; truthfully, her outburst probably seemed like unprovoked drunken rage to the outsiders at the party, but to her, this was long overdue. after being left sitting and waiting for nearly 30 minutes (which god, felt like an eternity), savannah watched theo get more and more comfortable leaned up against the doom room wall, more and more distracted with aisha just like so many times before. half an hour passed without so much as a glace from theo as she glared at the pair. not even a glimpse out of the corner of his eye as she accepted upwards of five or six drinks—she can’t really remember—and even a few jello shots from his fellow team members. but aisha, she got more in the half hour than savannah had gotten in months. laughs whenever she made jokes. discussions about classes. actual communication and coversation—it all, along with the alcohol settling into her system, became too much for her to swallow any longer.  “we haven’t seen each other in nearly three months, i only came to this party for you, and now you want to spend your fucking night talking to her?” she complained, the pair obviously taken aback. “this is bullshit.” savannah exclaimed, turning her back towards the boy and making her way towards the kitchen. downing the rest of her own drink, the brunette grabbed her phone off the counter, walking out of the dorm altogether. she was ready to leave, run away, go home, anything but spend the night waiting around in theo’s dorm for him to wander home from this party the same way she used to spend the night waiting for a call after he got back. unfortunately for her though, savie’s stomach had other plans. making a beeline for the only dorm she knew in the vicinity—theo’s, of course—savannah found herself emptying the contents into his toilet bowl within the minute. raising her body back to normal position, she looked at her reflection in the mirror, waiting for what was to come next. 

[fcknorth]

bex’s icey blonde curls bounced against her shoulders as she examined the party around her. nearly two hours in, every teenager in attendance was trashed. downing the red cup in her hand, she quickly climbed onto the coffee table that sat in front of her. steadying herself, she watched as the boys in the room quickly shifted their attention to her smal body. they were always the most intrigued by her occasional transition into bex, these parties quickly becoming solid proof that the party queen was back. "hey, everyone! max just got back with a whole new variety of drinks, go to the kitchen and pick your poison!" the words caused an immediate shift in the room, almost everyone rushing out of the room at once, as if any of them needed more liqour in their systems. Jumping off the table, her eyes drifted over to the only remaining boy in the room, her smile breaking through as she approached him. "what's wrong, sugar? don't you want to join in the festivities? or maybe..." she leaned against the wall beside him. "we could find something much more fun to do."

[fcknorth]

seven entire days. one hundred and sixty eight hours and then some to come. looking down at her swollen stomach, lennox let out a frustrated breath. “ryder, i think you need to remind your son that his eviction date was over a week ago.” she complained, looking over at her compainion, who was working on the second chilli covered dinner of the night. throughout the pregnancy lennox had refrained from any negative comments over her symptoms, always reminding herself to never feel ungrateful for receiving proof of the life that grew inside her–but now? she was over it. “hey, cmon, i grew you for ten months, it’s time to come out!” tapping lightly neat her belly button, the boy kicked against her in response.