now you see him

jeon jeongguk specter seventeen ghost physiology intermediate at rm 204

[sushisaranghae]

[xgmxjimin-blog]

: solace

[xgmxjimin-blog]

( `for a moment, jimin was tempted to question jeongguk about what really happened. he still only picked out few vague details out of a bunch of semi-incoherent sobs, and he was curious. there was a time and place to find that stuff out though— and that definitely wasn’t right now. ) Hey— it’s cool. I mean— that’s what friends are for, right? ( `he flashes a rather cheeky smile as he helps his friend along— a brief moment passes where he wonders if his friend was hurt— but he seemed more… exhausted than hurt? yeah, that sounded about right. it was a bit awkward with someone taller than him leaning against him for support— but it wasn’t that bad. he carefully starts leading his friend up to his room, babbling along as if it would somehow help ) You know— sometimes I listen to music when I’m sad, too. Some people listen to sad songs, but I like happy songs— and sometimes I dance a ton, too— just so I can feel happy! I look kinda goofy when i do it— but I mean, it works! 

[fcxspecter]

{* jeongguk falls back into a haunting silence, giving the occasional nods and hums with his fingers curling into jimin's sleeve. he's still distraught -- that much is obvious to himself, but his face feels too puffy and swollen and he can still feel his own fingers trembling as they hold onto his friend. the younger male seeks some sort of relief in listening to the other's words, eyes darting over to jimin's profile every so often before targeting the floor again *} music ... {* he had thrown out every page of lyrics he's written when he was at his peak of his mental vulnerability -- but now looking back, it seemed like such a waste, even if a fair amount had been about her -- *} i ... i write ... music-- k-kind of ... {* it's his attempt at holding a conversation that doesn't have him brought on the verge of tears but it's something to keep him distracted while jimin leads him *}

[x-my-dreams-are-your-dreams-o]

[fcxspecter]

{ * his eyes easily land on him, lips tugging down as he notices the look on his face; nothing short of heartbreak written across it. he decidedly steps forward, stomach dropping slightly at the words—her head? he got her head?—as his eyes flicker to the object sat before the boy's, eyes narrowing at the sweater wrapped around it; he knows it very well } it's okay, { * starts, as soothingly as possible, as he steps over, hands extending to grasp onto the boy's arm and tug lightly } cmon, guk-ah.

i ... i couldn't ... {* trails off, teeth biting down hard on his lower lip, watching the older male come closer to him. he doesn't want jaehun to face loss like him-- no, that'd be the worst thing-- he's slow in reacting to the tug, but it doesn't fail in getting him to eventually stand up straight *} it ... {* his eyes return to the head before flickering back to his hyung, biting on his lip again, this time almost making it bleed *} i .. g-got it ... {* then whispers *} i'm ... jinri noona ... she told me not to look back ... {* i'm sorry, he would say -- but he's just so tired *} 

[fcxspecter]

{ * presses his lips together as he steps in the room, brow twitching slightly at the stench that greets his nose } what the... { * glances around with furrowed brows, hoping to find his roommate or some sort of explanation } jeongguk?

{* maybe it's a bit weird to be staring at the head for too long but it's really growing to become a concern -- cross-legged on the floor, he lets his eyes flicker up to the voice in a moment of surprise, then distort to an expression of guilt upon seeing jaehun's face. because all he thinks about is jinri and her rushed whispers telling him not to look back, and look what happened to her-- *} h ... yung. {* croaks out, afraid to meet eye contact with him *} ... s ... sorry ... i ... i got the -- {* gestures to the head wrapped up in jinri's sweater *} but ... but i couldn't help her ...

[xgmxjimin-blog]

: solace

[xgmxjimin-blog]

( `well— … yeah, it was kind of the elephant in the room— and jimin really didn’t want to mention it. the head still freaked him out, and he totally didn’t want to focus on the overall ruggedness of jeongguk’s state. there was probably blood— and jimin was not about that life. ) Hey— yeah. Uh— we should um… do that. You should get yourself washed up too— I bought this new shampoo that kinda smells like bubblegum. Not that you don’t smell nice or anything but— … yeah, uh. ( `he figured jeongguk got the idea. now that things have gotten just a little more casual, it was a lot easier for jimin to adjust to. he shifted his friend just a little so jimin could prop up on his feet, flashing a —hopefully supportive— smile ) Come on.

[fcxspecter]

yeah ... mm ... i should ... {* a bit disoriented from his incident now, he lets jimin get up on his feet first before stumbling back up himself, his feet somewhat clumsy in his attempt -- but he doesn't fall over, that being one good thing he's done right *} ... thank ... you, hyung. {* he needs to lapse back into full sentences honestly-- he had been doing such a good job of that. but he doesn't linger on that fact too much *} mm. {* hums in agreement before moving to slip on his shoes, gripping onto jimin's arm as a means of some support as he allowed his friend to lead the way *} really ... thank you. {* whispers *}

[fcxspecter]

I see the start of a beautiful love triangle here

{* ???????????????????????????????????????????????? *} huh?

[xgmxjimin-blog]

: solace

[xgmxjimin-blog]

( `maybe it wasn’t the right thing to say— he knew fully well that jeongguk had a ton of other friends, people he could relate to, people he’d known forever— and those were probably the ones that got in trouble. jimin probably didn’t mean nearly as much as those people— and that was okay. the main point is— jimin is here for jeongguk now, and they… well, they aren’t. ) … Yeah… that. ( `he figures repeating is something that makes jeongguk feel more comfortable, so hey. he’s not going to question it. he smiles just a little at the tiny nod, figuring that at least some kind of progress was made, taking a moment to think about what the next step was to making things easier on jeongguk. what did he usually do to make himself feel better…? ) … So… how about we snuggle a little bit, and just kinda… try to ignore the rest of the world for a little bit? I mean, it might be temporary, but it could help..?

[fcxspecter]

{* maybe that's the best solution to calm his nerves -- to close his eyes while beside jimin and forget about the rest of the world's problems. he would have considered it -- if not for the persistent smell of rotting flesh filling the room and coming off of himself *} but ... b-but i smell. {* well, no shit, jeongguk. he lifts his head, his eyes straying over to the wrapped up head still resting against the wall, which isn't exactly the best idea because he has to try his best not to throw up whatever's left in his stomach in front of jimin. god. *} n-not here ... c-can we go to your room? {* he'll have to figure out what to do with it later -- when he's more mentally in tact *}

[xgmxjimin-blog]

: solace

[xgmxjimin-blog]

( `he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but clearly he was doing something right. his gaze grew soft as all that shaking and trembling starts to lessen— but he knew fully well that things were still on-edge. he had to be careful. he rocks jeongguk back and forth slowly, biting the corner of his cheek as he nods— he wonders if he could see it with his face all burrowed ) I … yeah. I’m not gonna run into any trouble like that… ( `he did run into trouble a lot— but nothing like this. this? this was a lot different. ) You mean a lot to me, Kooks— I mean, probably a lot more than you think… ( `he trailed off at that, deciding it was a pretty good time for him to shut his mouth… but he opens it within seconds after ) It’s … a lot easier to go through hard times when you have someone there with you, you know… I can be that someone…

[fcxspecter]

{* manages to gradually calm down, his whimpers dwindling into quiet hiccups but at least he can start to breathe properly again -- but he continues to keep himself against jimin, wishing he can feel how warm his hyung is -- if only he could -- if only he could feel warmth at all -- maybe that would help things a bit *} n-no trouble ... {* shakes his head, tightening his hold around him *} no trouble ... {* repeats, pausing again to fully listen to jimin's words, still hiccuping every few seconds *} y ... y-y-yeah ...? {* he doesn't think he'd mean that much to anyone else really -- jaehun is a sole exception, but jimin's only been knowing jeongguk for a few months -- if that "time" they spent in the bubble world doesn't count *} ... {* puts the offer into consideration but he doesn't say anything, not verbally at least, because he just hides his face against the crook of the older boy's neck, nodding against it *} 

[xgmxjimin-blog]

: solace

[xgmxjimin-blog]

( `he knew he wasn’t ready for this. he was eager to help his friend— he was so eager to do something right, but now that it was happening, he wasn’t so sure he was the right person for the job. he always saw jeongguk’s roommate taking care of him so well— but jimin— jimin just couldn’t compare. he couldn’t understand what to do— and the way jeongguk held onto him and broke down… well, to put it simply, it broke his heart. he shakes his head, leaning in and affectionately rubbing the tip of his nose against jeongguk’s teeth, trying to give him as much physical contact as possible. ) H-hey… hey— I’m not gonna go anywhere… you know that— right? I’m just gonna stay here— and I’m gonna be safe with you… ( `he almost felt bad— terrible even— that for the past several days, he’d been trying to call home so he could leave this place… but with jeongguk like this, he knew there was no chance he could go. )

I… I could never, ever leave you….

[fcxspecter]

{* he holds on tight, whispering 'don't go' over and over and over and over-- until he calms down to the point that he's shaking at a considerably lesser intensity than he had a few moments ago *} don't go ... {* the affectionate gesture has him squeaking a little -- but nothing can embarrass him, he has no shame even if he's sitting in jimin's lap, seeking for comfort now found in the older male's reassurances *} safe ... w-w-with me ... {* repeats after him, clinging onto him as he tries so hard to come off of his brief panic attack -- he can't be ashamed of those happening at this point, it's inevitable -- but the possible fate of his friends still haunt him *} stay here ... w-with me ... don't g-go ... {* whimpers out -- his fingers find solace in jimin's shirt, digging into the fabric *}

[xgmxjimin-blog]

: solace

[xgmxjimin-blog]

( `so it wasn’t working, clearly. in fact, he seemed to be making it worse. his eyes went wide in response— not once had he ever seen… well, anything like this. was it a panic attack? he wasn’t sure. as jeongguk went limp, he pulled him right onto his lap, his arms still wrapped tightly. one hand moved to his hair, running his fingers through it. it was damp— with sweat, he presumed. ) Hey— hey, Kooks… ( `it was terrifying— and he had to do everything in his power to not freak out from this whole ordeal. his friends were all in danger and— and jimin was just … there. clueless. useless. he was trying his best though— and that’s what mattered— … right…? ) Hey… hey— think about it this way— if… i-if you got trapped in there with them… then you wouldn’t be able to save them at all— we— we can do it— I’ll help—! We’ll save them! We have to stay strong, Kooks— w-we just gotta!

[fcxspecter]

{* jeongguk finds himself struggling to breathe, choking like he was drowning -- suffocating from something beyond his control. his arms reach out, fingers curled as if they're trying to grab for something, something that he's desperate not to lose. he was finally able to make more than one friend for the first time once coming into this school -- and now all of that can be lost in an instant *} don't go ... d-d-don't go ... !! {* never has he been this mentally distraught -- and he curls his arms back around jimin's shoulders so tight, afraid his friend will vanish too if he doesn't *} ... d-don't go ... {* his voice dwindles back down to an unstable whisper, but just as fearful -- he doesn't want to lose jimin either, he doesn't want to lose all of them, he doesn't want to be alone again-- *} ... ... d-d-don't ... go ...

[xgmxjimin-blog]

: solace

[xgmxjimin-blog]

( `oh god— he felt terrible. so all those rumors about people going to the city and getting kidnapped were true. he was held back himself— being only a beginner, but all those mutants— all those highly skilled advanced and intermediate mutants— even the experts— gone. part of him wondered if he should’ve been there, but… then again, he knew it wouldn’tve gone over well. he held jeongguk close— as close as he possibly could, trying to at least give him that sense of comfort. ) Hey… hey, they— … I mean— … ( `he needed reassuring words— what was he supposed to say? ) … You’re here— and… and I mean— you needed to get away— y-you needed to stay safe or else… or else you would be captured and I’d miss you a ton… ( `he knew he couldn’t compare was jeongguk felt to anything he had ever experienced— but it was worth a shot. ) It’s um… it’ll be okay… Professor Xavier— h-he’ll save them! He’s the strongest mutant in the world!

[fcxspecter]

{* countless amounts of dread and hate pounds down on jeongguk's head -- my fault, my fault, my fault-- and he barely listens to jimin's words, eyes large and lips quivering. he holds onto the older not as tight as he could, trembling against him -- not even the warmth and comfort of one of his closest friends can tide the endless waves of anxiety and fear impeding on him *} wh-wh-why am i the only one ... i sh-shouldn't ... !! wh-why does it m-m-matter than i'm safe but my friends a-aren't ... what if ... {* grows paler at even the idea, images and phantom voices of lena screaming for her life and being slaughtered limb by limb until she's silenced by a swift slice at her head -- and it's not long before the very images distort to his friends-- jinri-- soojung-- han-- ilhoon-- mai-- what if they end up just like her? *} a-a-a-ah-- {* falls at a loss for words, slowly growing limp even though his shaking worsens *} a-a-a-ahhhh--

[xgmxjimin-blog]

: solace

[xgmxjimin-blog]

( `from the rumors he’d heard about the halls, he had a basic idea of what was going on… but honestly, his knowledge of everything was pretty minimal. jeongguk was there— he was right there in the midst of all the mayhem. jimin barged into his room the very second he’d arrived— and his initial reaction was to stop himself from screaming at the sight of the severed head. ) Uh— oh my god— oh my good, Kook— ( `the second he laid his eyes on his friend, the head was completely irrelevant. the phone fell from his hand as he ran over, pulling jeongguk into his arms ) Hey— hey, hey… I— … I’m here… I’m here, okay?

[fcxspecter]

{* jeongguk reeks of death and so does his room from having the head around -- he lifts his head at the sudden slam of his door, his cheeks flushed red and stained with past and current tears -- he instinctively lifted his arms and clings desperately onto one of the only friends who are here and okay-- *} h-h-hyung ... !! {* his fingers shakily curl against jimin's back as he continues to tremble in his hold, scared for himself and the others who had accompanied him on the personal mission *} they kn-kn-knew-- they knew we were c--coming ... !! i-i-i couldn't help-- noona t-told me not to look b-back-- why didn't i l-l-look back, hyung ...?! {* his words are frantic cries -- he's that afraid. where are his noonas? where is ilhoon-- where are the others-- why aren't they back yet-- where is jaehun - he's too afraid to face his hyung, too scared to tell him that he wasn't able to save jinri-- *} i ... !! i-i-i'm so useless ... i-i couldn't do anything to save them ... !! {* chokes out more sobs, finally full-on crying *}

[xgmxjimin-blog]

: solace

( `room 204— room 204— he practically slid down the stairs, running as fast as his legs could possibly take him. jeongguk’s voice was giving him all sorts of really, really terrible vibes. he needed help— and for once, jimin could actually do something to make things right. he knew he was terrible with serious things, but when it came to important people he at least wanted to try. his voice was a bit breathy from all the running ) Hey— hey, you’re in your room, right? I’m almost there— it’s not locked, right? 

[fcxspecter]

n-n-no it ... it isn't ... {* hiccups, already feeling a fresh batch of tears ready to fall and spill down his face *} i th-th-think-- hyung, i'm so scared-- {* his entire body begins trembling again, shrinking against the wall as if he's trying to make himself vanish -- but he's too broken, too distraught to even disappear *} i should have looked back-- i-i-i should have l--looked back ... why didn't i look back-- wh-wh-why didn't i help-- {* chokes back a louder sob as his shaking becomes more fervent *}

[fcxspecter]

{* he wants to sob -- he wants to sob in relief the moment he phases through his dorm window and collapses onto the floor out of exhaustion, holding the head close to his chest. they did it. he did it. lena can be safe, now-- tears shroud his vision and he's too relieved and broken apart to think about anything else. his fragile heart pounds heavily against his chest from all that's happened, and he doesn't even have the decency to move from the floor. he just lies there with lena's head rotting and reeking through the sweater, eyes falling closed as he submits to his exhausted state. they did it. *}

[go2bedjungkook]

[fcxkemy]

↪ mental breaker : kkm & jjg

[fcxkemy]

{ ✦: }

[fcxspecter]

"overly competitive," jeongguk repeated behind his mask, almost laughing at how ridiculous that sounded. race you, champ. "well, i don't have anyone else slaying zombies with me so you can guess it's the former." the words came out so smoothly, the flow never broken by stuttered syllables or drifted off silence. if it was under any other circumstance that caused this, he'd be proud of himself. but he has no reason to feel that pride now.

he just half-hummed, half-grunted his consent to her watching him, not exactly finding what could be so amusing with observing him kill whatever enemy came his way -- but he decided to play along with whatever she wanted. "i hope i'll give you a good show then," he remarked, almost bitter with the way the words came out. he whipped the gun instantly towards the zombie jumping at the screen, killing it off with a single clean headshot. he exhaled at the kill before moving on, not fully acknowledging his current score. knowing the fact he's been going at this for who knows how long, he probably made it to the high score list.

he took a quick glance to notice her school uniform before directing his eyes back on the screen, pulling the fake trigger relentlessly. "are you skipping class today?" he inquired, brows furrowed at the sudden change in difficulty on the game. "i didn't even know school was still going on. with the recent stuff happening, you know?" he didn't even see a point in starting this casual conversation but -- he needed it, he supposed. he needed all the help he could get, all the distractions he could find.

that was why he was still here, after all.