It's so hard to not use. I make it seem like it's so easy. Like I just decided and bam I'm sober.
It took going to prison and the fear of going back to quit. I tell my mom it's easy.
I told my fiancee it's not that bad.
Little do they know it's the hardest thing I've ever done.
I didn't want to tell anyone this but if I can't tell you who the fuck am I going to talk to about it.
A moment of silence for the addict who still suffers.
Being sober is nice but being high was nicer. Or so I thought. Maybe I can control it. Maybe I'm not like all the other meth heads because I have principles. Yet all I ever did was use people and hope I could still get high again. I justified my use by the fact that I was nice. Little did I know I was the meanest kid on the street pretending to be friends with people I normally wouldn't even talk to... I thought I could get rich quick, instead I ended up with nothing. I got high to hide from my problems but in the end I made more problems that feel impossible to fix.
Now I'm a 3 time felon and I'm expected to get a job and a place to live. Who wants to let a felon live in their place? Who wants to hire a felon?
I remember that first hit of meth I took and I thought "this is it?"
But in the end I was looking at a small shot thinking "this is it? I'll barely be high."
But now I'm sober, now I'm taking it one step at a time, but it isn't so bad. It sucks sure but atleast my life feels like it's falling together instead of apart now.
